College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Uncategorized

HE & I ARE ONE

HER DREAMS WILL NOT COME TRUE-STEVEN BELONGS WITH ME-

WE ARE ‘ONE’-UNITED IN

WILLS, HEARTS & SOULS

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!

4-11-20-HES BEEN WITH ME ALL ALONG

For a friend

I’m driving my white Corvette from long ago. The parking lot, in fact two or three of them in a row, is on top of my high lawn, but this is twice as high, twice as big as my real lawn. Let’s say my real lawn from where my house sits would be up two stories, this goes up four stories & has a lot of bare hard dirt like a driveway. There are two rows of parking spots here, somehow just like an asphalt parking lot with white stripes showing the spots & writing where it’s for disabled—although there’s no asphalt, just bare driveway-style dirt & patches of low grass here & there.

*(WHITE CORVETTE: a sign of my wanting to be married to Steven ‘from long ago’ because this wish started years ago–the car only seats two & it’s WHITE. So I’m wishing to be with Steven, be close to him.

DOWNTOWN: ‘Downtown’ meant mostly to see Steven, although I did not always see him. Here being on the

HIGH HILL: is that familiar symbol, ‘on the Cross’ where Jesus said, ‘If I be lifted up, I will draw all men unto me.’ So in a minor sense, I, my hopes are ‘crucified’ or ‘crossed out’ – I cannot go downtown because all bars are closed & there’s a curfew—that cancels out seeing Steve because I either see him there or not at all—{why not at all is too complicated to explain here.}

NEXT TO HANDICAPPED: Is where I park, at first I was the row further away but I move closer here. The clue is ‘handicapped’—am I almost, not quite handicapped? That is to say, am I stymied, prevented from doing what I want to do, disabled? This dream is saying ‘partially’ but not really—close to it, but not there.

GRAVEL or BARE DIRT of parking area: This is some sort of HARDSHIP, a driveway-type gravel is hard like rock, there are only patches of grass, this is saying it’s been hard for me to see Steven, I feel deprived.)*

I’m looking for a good place to park while I go what seems like downtown but this is right by my house {dreams are not always logical}. But since I have a slight problem walking due to pain, I don’t want to park too far. I pulled into the farther lot at first, now moved to the closer one, I won’t have to walk as far.

There are only 2-3 cars here & there, I pull into one spot to the left of ‘handicapped’—a good spot.

(PAIN: I’m in a slight emotional pain for not being able to go dt & see Steven.)

But after I pull in & fix the gear for ‘park’ it doesn’t seem to work, like the gear is broken. I don’t want to take a chance the car rolling downhill, so I drive downhill to the right to check it out. I get out of the car & a strange thing happens: The car turns into a vanilla pretty plastic basket similar to the pink plastic basket in my fancy bathroom {it’s softly ribbed with a design edging on top it goes from a bit smaller on bottom to a bit larger on top, it’s graceful} & the basket has a string on it. And so, amazingly, I hold my entire Corvette in my left hand, its light as can be, in my right hand I carry a bag, & am delighted to be able to do this. Is it some kind of miracle that I can carry my Corvette in one hand?

*(CORVETTE BECOMES LIGHT ENOUGH TO CARRY IN MY LEFT HAND, looks like my fancy basket in the rr only bigger, easy to carry: This is ‘my burden is light, my yoke is sweet,’ will explain why not going dt is no longer a burden or hardship. My mind is ‘at rest’ {rest room} on the issue. The corvette is hope of marriage, the basket being vanilla is the same thing. I’m holding is by a string is ‘strings attached,’ which is like a ring, a harness, the two of us being ‘hitched’ {hitched is another way of saying ‘yoked’ where two oxen or horses are ‘evenly hitched’—another symbol of marriage.}

The basket/Corvette or concept of marriage being fluted, ribbed, pretty & GRACEFUL {there is the KEY!} is that the GRACE OF GOD is ON MY SIDE! God has spoken to me in hundreds of dreams explaining it is her will & our destiny to be hitched. I am reminded of this & comforted once again although there is no immediate physical manifestation.)*

I gingerly walk through the lower part of my ‘higher’ yard {the lower yard is like one & a half stories down, say 20’} toward the house.

Then I get a crazy feeling. I turn around to the end of the yard where there is in the dream, a tall privacy fence, & this young man who’s always here – he’s part of my family, house, a fixture – is working in a corner of the fence—carpentry work, maybe nailing something. Here I was hoping to go ‘downtown’ as I was lonely, & yet, this guy is always here & I didn’t pay attention to him.

*(GUY ALWAYS HERE: This is Steven. You are reminded so many times & this dream says you are together now & always. He is by the

PRIVACY FENCE nailing something in a corner: This says it will be privacy or the two of you will be just you – alone as a couple, no one else, no interference, walled off from others. He is

WORKING ON THIS, NAILING IT: means he’s preparing, nailing it, ‘fixing it,’ ‘getting it,’ ‘hitting the nail on the head,’ ‘making it secure.’ He has some things to do to make this happen.

HE’S ALWAYS HERE: The two of you are always together because your souls are UNITED. When two people are ONE it means they want to be together; their WILLS are the same, their desires, emotions, hearts are the same, they are together in spirit & that is real togetherness. Whereas roommates can be in the same place body wise, but if the two are not one in spirit, there’s no intimacy, no union. In a real relationship, two become one. You have to always pay attention to that-him, this is saying. You lost sight of that fact for a time.)*

I go to him suddenly, turn him around to me & kiss him lovingly all over his face. He is surprised but he accepts it like its OK. The thing is I neglected him although he’s always here & I have no reason to be lonely.

*(KISS HIM LOVINGLY: A kiss like this transmits energy. You are communicating metaphysically & he feels it.

Once a female disciple decided to kiss me before going to sleep. I was in bed & saw Marilyn Monroe lying next to me & giving me the sweetest kiss. This is the energy transmitted & received.

The dream is saying be aware of his presence & don’t be lonely.)*

But there’s a caution we must take—I point out to him. There’s someone in the house who mustn’t know we’re together. It’s the middle of the night although it’s bright, we can see like daylight–& so I told him at first no one would see us. Everyone in the house should be fast asleep.

*(MIDDLE OF NIGHT EVERYONE IN HOUSE SHOULD BE FAST ASLEEP: Night here means all the people associated with us,

IN THE HOUSE: are not aware that you & I are together. For us, it’s

DAYLIGHT, we can see although it’s the middle of the night: We are fully aware we love one another but they are not aware – they cannot see, they are asleep.

SOMEONE IN THE HOUSE should not know we’re together: We don’t want his other woman to know about us to avoid interference or conflicts presumably.)*

But then I look toward the house & driveway & I see a black woman I know is his relative – she’s dangerous {I don’t know why} & we mustn’t let her see us.

(DANGEROUS BLACK WOMAN WE MUST NOT BE SEEN BY HER: This must be my lover’s ‘other woman.’ The dream says do not let her know we’re still in love & de facto married.)

To the left I see a group of attractive plastic urns {I used to have a lot, they’re made of plastic but look like something expensive, the way the design is with ribs, they are about 1.5’ tall, smaller on bottom, increase wider on top, about 12” diameter tops, graceful—I no longer have these, gave them away.} This black woman is his cousin maybe, she’s working on these urns, they’re lying in heaps inside each other–she’s in my driveway. I make my young man lie on the ground with me so she won’t spot us & we’re safe.

*(LIE ON THE GROUND: Stay under the radar. Don’t alarm her jealousy or emotions, she doesn’t want us to be together.

URNS: These urns I ‘gave away’ hold plants. Plants usually represent PLANS for the future – things you hope will GROW, MATURE or MANIFEST. Because her plans contradict mine—we don’t want conflicts.

This also explains—

I GAVE THEM AWAY: I had physical plans for Steven that I gave up – realizing they weren’t necessary for him or us.

She has plans like that. Him falling in love with her, being together permanently, the house with the picket fence & roses, ‘Just Molly & me, & baby makes three, in my Blue Heaven’ – Fats Domino, haha.

These pots I see are EMPTY & bright-shiny new-they are stacked one into the other in a few piles. Being EMPTY predicts these dreams will not come true. In other words, empty pots, empty dreams, no plants nothing will grow, mature or manifest.

Me: MomGod, this conflict between her & me, she will be livid with rage when she loses him to me. She’s supported him for years. She’s young & pretty, I’m old as the hills. Her friends & some of his will say he’s crazy. What do you say as far as God’s will, destiny & righteousness in this situation?

She: Man-made plans vs God’s will, God always wins. God knows all, sees all, the flesh doesn’t. The flesh sees bodies, plastic prettiness, being young—the catch word is ‘appropriate.’

What seems appropriate to man—they do not see what God sees, the whole picture.

God sees inside. God saw both of you in another lifetime. God saw that lifetime end & a relationship unfulfilled.

God put you & him in this time & space knowing you would meet. God knew he would suffer trauma & you could heal him – no one else can.

God also knew he was a reward, a gift to you & you alone, but you would suffer, & you could endure that kind of suffering & still love him, you would persevere, & in the end, you would win.

What does the flesh know? The flesh is ignorant, blind, no discernment, not seeing within, not feeling the inside. Love is totally different than the physical eyes; it’s energy, chemistry, it’s a million things the flesh doesn’t see. And because none of these people understands, let them think what they want to think & just ride off into the sunset.

Don’t worry about them, just be happy, live for each other, leave them, don’t associate with the ones who disapprove, live for yourselves.)*

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Uncategorized

EASE LOVER OUT OF TRAP

DREAM EXPLAINS I UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION

& REMOVE LOVER FROM HIS TRAP

4-10-20-LOVER MOVES PICTURE OF BIRD

Interpreted for a friend

I am some place indoors when I decide to put my foot down & talk to my lover although he’s not reached out to me. I’m tired of waiting – I’m going to discuss his financial situation. I think he’s in the men’s room in this building. I speak to a male friend of mine & ask him to go into the place & if John is there, tell him I wish to speak to him.

I understand completely & clearly that he’s with his present female because she supports him but this will soon end as she’s flat broke, will get an eviction notice—it’s the ONLY reason he’s stayed with her. I will let him know that he should make the switch from her to me pronto as I am willing & able to take care of him.

My friend goes in there & pretty soon John comes out looking a bit sheepish—surprised that I reached out to him.

He’s wearing a ‘pale’ color small-checked shirt. I have a feeling of strength, confidence, & tell him I want to move off to a private area & have a chat. He then annoys me by walking off somewhere. I see him go next to a door to a picture on the wall, which is hanging amidst some clutter on the walls; one of the images near the bird is a black blob. The picture vaguely seems to be of a bird, maybe red, it has a frame & a see-through glass-like covering on the front. I’m no longer annoyed when he returns with the picture to put it up by the spot we are chatting.

*(PALE SHIRT, HE HAS ON WITH SMALL CHECKS: This means he feels fear. We ‘turn pale’ if we ‘see a ghost.’

CHECKS: are crosses, crosses are problems. He’s scared due to his problems.

HE WALKS OFF TO THIS PICTURE OF A RED BIRD: Bird here means FREE, FREEDOM. His picture, or he, is

IN A FRAME: like being ‘framed’ means deceived & trapped.

WITH GLASS OVER IT: It’s obvious he’s been trapped—you can see his clearly.

IN A CORNER: Cornered, helpless. It was a series of decisions that were bad – mistakes – that got him into a place he had trouble getting out of.

NEXT TO A DOOR: of opportunity. He got in, he can get out.

AMIDST CLUTTER ON THE WALLS: Clutter is too many things confusing the situation. One needs to ‘clear things out’ before they can ‘think straight.’

BIRD IS RED: Not happy, suffering. Second meaning is passion, could be passionate or strongly emotional about getting out of this (sanguine, face getting red is being emotional. Red is also a color for HATE – he hates being here.

BLACK BLOB: Confusing the issue is a child he did not ask for. His roommate allowed her pregnancy on purpose, in hopes of trapping him. When the baby was born it looked like a ‘blob,’ with no features {it greatly improved & is now cute} but my ESP tells me what this stands for. This child confuses the issue of his responsibility, if he’s morally tied down here or not. The roommate’s hopes were that the child would force him to stay with her permanently. The ‘blob’ being black it’s like an unknown, a point of confusion, something dark & depressing, not knowing what to do about it.

HE RETURNS, PUTS THE PICTURE WHERE WE ARE CHATTING: This says he returns to his present address, removes himself, & brings himself to me. He declares his freedom,

“Free as a bird.”

Free to leave the one who trapped him, put him in a cage, he put himself in the cage, now removes himself.)*

My personality here is no-nonsense, pragmatic, practical & matter of fact. He goes along with it. It’s like I understand everything & am going to talk to him straight, no beating around the bush.

For the personality, check Maggie in “Hobson’s Choice” with Charles Laughton, how Laughton tells her she’s ‘past marrying age’ (30) & she then chooses a young cobbler who works in the cellar – a timid soul – tells everyone they’re going to marry {including him}, commandeers all events, even splitting him off from the fiancé he now has, etc. Perfect assertive woman.

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, SHAKTI AND SHIVA, TANTRA SEX, Shrine to Shakti, Shrine to Shiva, Uncategorized

VACCINES & BILL GATES

VACCINES & BILL GATES

ROBERT F KENNEDY JR

COMMENTS BY RASA VON WERDER

Friends, those who are on board with Matriarchy, Female Empowerment &

Mother God, please share this article on your face books & other social

media. Thanks.

from RASA VON WERDER: FRIENDS THESE ARE THE PEOPLE RUNNING OUR WORLD TODAY. THEY ARE DEMONS IN THE FORMS OF MEN. DO NOT ALLOW YOUR CHILD TO GET ANY KIND OF VACCINE, DO NOT GET ANY KIND OF VACCINE, DO NOT GET A MICROCHIP IF THEY EVER TRY TO FORCE YOU. AGAIN, THIS IS PATRIARCHY, RULE OF THE MALE. GOD DID NOT CREATE MEN TO RULE THE FAMILY & THE WORLD, THEY ARE NOT SUITABLE.

GOD / WOMEN MADE MEN LONG AGO AS HELPMATES TO WOMEN, BUT SOMETHING HAPPENED THAT ONE THIRD OF THEM BECAME DEMONIC. THESE DEMONICS ARE RUTHLESS, AGGRESSIVE, NO-CONSCIENCE MURDERERS. THEY ARE WHO IS RULING THE WORLD. EVERYONE IS AFRAID OF THEM – THE GOOD MEN AS WELL AS WOMEN. THERE WILL BE NO MAN ON A WHITE HORSE. THERE WILL ONLY BE MOTHER GOD, WORKING THROUGH WOMEN, TO TAKE BACK THE FAMILY & THE WORLD.

MOTHER GOD’S SOLUTION TO THE PROBLEM IS THE EXTINCTION OF MEN – WOMEN CAN REPRODUCE WITHOUT MEN. IN FUTURE IT WILL BE A WOMAN-ONLY WORLD, 99% OF THE CONFLICTS, CRIMES & SINS WILL BE ABOLISHED.

MEN LIKE KISSINGER, BILL GATES & OTHERS ARE TRYING TO CURB THE WORLD POPULATION LIKE THIS. THEY WAY IT WILL BE NATURALLY DIMINISHED IS TO STOP PATRIARCHY – IT’S PATRIARCHS WHO ARE FORCING UNWANTED PREGNANCIES & SERIAL PREGNANCIES ON WOMEN. IT’S ALL ABOUT THEIR OWN EGO, MORE MALES NEEDED FOR WORK & WAR – IT’S PART OF THEIR DEMONIC STRONGHOLD TO WANT LOTS OF MEN FOR VIOLENCE-PARTNERS, LOTS OF WOMEN FOR SEX & BREEDING.

PEOPLE LIKE BILL GATES ARE USING THEIR MONEY POWER TO FORCE BIOWARFARE ON ‘STRANGERS’, THOSE THEY DON’T LIKE, THOSE WHO ARE HELPLESS & VULNERABLE, & THOSE THEY WANT TO ROB. HOWEVER, AT THE END OF THIS ARTICLE IT EXPLAINS HOW IT’S NOW CLOSE TO HOME, THEY ARE TARGETING AMERICANS AS WELL. (WHAT AM I SAYING, THEY ALWAYS TARGETED AMERICANS, JUST NOT AS COMPLETELY AS THEY DID OTHERS.)……..

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

4-10-20-ROBERT F KENNEDY JR ON BILL GATES & VACCINES

“Vaccines, for Bill Gates, are a strategic philanthropy that feed his
many vaccine-related businesses (including Microsoft’s ambition to
control a global vac ID enterprise) and give him dictatorial control
over global health policy—the spear tip of corporate neo-imperialism.

Gates’ obsession with vaccines seems fueled by a messianic conviction
that he is ordained to save the world with technology and a god-like
willingness to experiment with the lives of lesser humans.

Promising to eradicate Polio with $1.2 billion, Gates took control of
India ‘s National Advisory Board (NAB) and mandated 50 polio vaccines
(up from 5) to every child before age 5. Indian doctors blame the
Gates campaign for a devastating vaccine-strain polio epidemic that
paralyzed 496,000 children between 2000 and 2017. In 2017, the Indian
Government dialed back Gates’ vaccine regimen and evicted Gates and
his cronies from the NAB. Polio paralysis rates dropped precipitously.

In 2017, the World Health Organization reluctantly admitted that the
global polio explosion is predominantly vaccine strain, meaning it is
coming from Gates’ Vaccine Program. The most frightening epidemics in
Congo, the Philippines, and Afghanistan are all linked to Gates’
vaccines. By 2018, ¾ of global polio cases were from Gates’ vaccines.

In 2014, the Gates Foundation funded tests of experimental HPV
vaccines, developed by GSK and Merck, on 23,000 young girls in remote
Indian provinces. Approximately 1,200 suffered severe side effects,
including autoimmune and fertility disorders. Seven died. Indian
government investigations charged that Gates funded researchers
committed pervasive ethical violations: pressuring vulnerable village
girls into the trial, bullying parents, forging consent forms, and
refusing medical care to the injured girls. The case is now in the
country’s Supreme Court.

In 2010, the Gates Foundation funded a trial of a GSK’s experimental
malaria vaccine, killing 151 African infants and causing serious
adverse effects including paralysis, seizure, and febrile convulsions
to 1,048 of the 5,049 children.

During Gates 2002 MenAfriVac Campaign in Sub-Saharan Africa, Gates
operatives forcibly vaccinated thousands of African children against
meningitis. Between 50-500 children developed paralysis. South African
newspapers complained, “We are guinea pigs for drug makers”
Nelson Mandela’s former Senior Economist, Professor Patrick Bond,
describes Gates’ philanthropic practices as “ruthless” and immoral”.

In 2010, Gates committed $ 10 billion to the WHO promising to reduce
population, in part, through new vaccines. A month later Gates told a
Ted Talk that new vaccines “could reduce population”.

In 2014, Kenya’s Catholic Doctors Association accused the WHO of
chemically sterilizing millions of unwilling Kenyan women with a phony
“tetanus” vaccine campaign. Independent labs found the sterility
formula in every vaccine tested. After denying the charges, WHO
finally admitted it had been developing the sterility vaccines for
over a decade. Similar accusations came from Tanzania, Nicaragua,
Mexico and the Philippines.

A 2017 study (Morgensen et.Al.2017) showed that WHO’s popular DTP is
killing more African than the disease it pretends to prevent.
Vaccinated girls suffered 10x the death rate of unvaccinated children.

Gates and the WHO refused to recall the lethal vaccine which WHO
forces upon millions of African children annually. Global public
health advocates around the world accuse Gates of – hijacking WHO’s
agenda away from the projects that are proven to curb infectious
diseases; clean water, hygiene, nutrition and economic development.
They say he has diverted agency resources to serve his personal fetish
– that good health only comes in a syringe.

In addition to using his philanthropy to control WHO, UNICEF, GAVI and
PATH, Gates funds private pharmaceutical companies that manufacture
vaccines, and a massive network of pharmaceutical -industry front
groups that broadcast deceptive propaganda, develop fraudulent
studies, conduct surveillance and psychological operations against
vaccine hesitancy and use Gates’ power and money to silence dissent
and coerce compliance.

In this recent nonstop Pharmedia appearances, Gates appears gleeful
that the Covid-19 crisis will give him the opportunity to force his
third-world vaccine programs on American children.”

College of God & Love, College of Love Making, College of Matriarchal Love, Uncategorized

I SEE MY LOVER’S GOD SELF

I SEE MY LOVER’S GOD SELF & HE MINE—

WE WERE TOGETHER IN A PREVIOUS LIFETIME—

4-9-20-SEVEN FOOT TALL MAN CHOOSES ME

I’m in my apt in B’klyn in my bedroom. There are people in other parts of the place; I seem to be isolated here, in my room.

Then two things I become aware of at the same time. One, the fire escape is crowded with people – it extends across the two front windows, real life fire escape is only on one window, but there are two here. All of them are crowded with people trying to get some air, to be outside during this time of isolation, men & women are sitting sunning. I especially see a man in beige trunks, reclining halfway on his back. Everything is friendly, a good feeling of people being together.

*(ISOLATION, QUARANTINE VS PEOPLE BEING TOGETHER: This is about that dichotomy, being isolated, or being together. It beckons to mind when they say

“Alone in a crowded room”

If you have nothing in common with people, although there are many around you, you still feel isolated & alone. But if you have something in common or intimacy, you feel CONNECTED & not alone any more.)*

The second thing I see is on top of the table that holds a water tray is a small screen, like the screens people look at like a computer, but this is small. It’s only about 5” tall & 7” across. I never paid attention to this screen, like it had nothing I wanted on it, but now I see a TV show or movie is just beginning, & it’s well done.

There’s a man that seems to be an opera star / announcer, speaking in a grand voice in English, clearly, impressive looking & sounding. He’s tall, a feeling of an opera star, wearing a snug brown outfit, he stands with feet apart, arms akimbo delivering his message.

*(TALL MAN, LIKE AN OPERA STAR, IMPOSING: I did not see this right away but after getting toward the end of the dream realized it’s the man I love—Bobby– & there’s a weighty message here. At first glance I thought I had summoned a saint but it’s different.

BROWN OUTFIT, BLACK BOOTS: Brown seems to be a color coming up often these days both on him & myself. All colors mean multiple things, the definition I give to brown in the last two dreams is SERIOUS, a serious message.

BLACK BOOTS: Like all colors black has many definitions, one of them is MYSTERY—what is black is a mystery to us, it’s the unknown. This dream will reveal a serious mystery about my Beloved.

HE IS IMPRESSIVE: This is a large part of the mystery. This is my LOVER’S GOD SELF, HIS SOUL that has migrated from a previous lifetime to the one here & now. He is TALL because the God Self is IMPORTANT, God is important, it’s the part of us that is Immaculate—without sin—it is priceless & perfect. It is the lower self, not the actual God-Self/Soul that houses sins, {which must be clarified in Purgatory before we can see God face to face.}

There’s then the ‘lower soul’ which would be our unconscious, our lower spiritual energy-entity, while the God-Self Soul is the Highest Level. That is the one that migrates from body to body in various lifetimes.)*

I look at this & think I’ll stay & pay attention – it might be interesting.

Then it all changes. Now I’m in this movie, it’s come to life. The man is standing there in a theater or club with the stage behind him. He’s called a party – he’s special – hundreds of people came, I see them piling in, many so close to each other they seem to be on top of one another, in colorful party clothes, females & males.

*(PARTY EVERYONE WANTS TO COME: This is Bobby in this lifetime – attractive, popular, wants to have fun & everyone wants to be with him—male & female. He is a star.

COLORFUL CLOTHES: Lots of emotions, especially the women, they are infatuated or fascinated with him.)*

The man I now see more clearly is dressed in a ‘cavalier’ fashion in all brown, snug fitting with plain/elegant black boots up to his knees. He is at least a foot taller than anyone there – the visitors are average between 5 to 6’ tall, he’s 7’ tall.

(HE’S A FOOT TALLER THAN ANYONE HERE: This height is his God-Self. It is this that makes him a star. In another lifetime/s, he achieved great spiritual stature. The people around him, his family & friends, have not. They are attracted to his Spiritual Charisma – which is the Presence of the Holy Spirit.)

He stands there like ‘The Jolly Green Giant’; he always has his legs apart — imposing. Everyone wanted to come to his party & I’m here also.

(HIS PARTY, I’M HERE ALSO: I’m a part of his life & I think a lot of him.)

Now the giant man walks around his guests like in a hallway adjoining the room (with his attendants) & for some reason he just faintly puts his index finger on me – my shoulder I guess – to say he’s seen me.

(FAINTLY PUTS HIS FINGER ON ME LIKE TO SAY HE SEES ME: This must be when he first singled me out—I was so impressed, & took me to make love. But I did not see him again for three years—didn’t know where to find him.)

This made me feel special, because he’s the star, we’re like a bunch of ‘nobodies’ & for him to single me out is unusual.

(HOW HE MADE ME FEEL: indeed this accurately says how he made me feel when we met. I saw him as a great star & was lucky to be chosen – I said so to him. I even asked him if he was real or was I hallucinating or imagining him? He seemed ‘too good to be true.’ He didn’t see himself as special—his family & friends had not lifted him up.)

Shortly after that he does more than just faintly touch me with the tip of his finger, this time he puts his hand on me definitely to let me know he’s chosen me.

(PUTS HIS HAND ON ME STRONGLY: This is when we started going steady three years later. He told me he wanted to marry me.)

I now see myself, what I’m wearing. Wow, am I covered! And as I walked through the premises I took one sweater off, & was planning to take more & more off as I got more ‘confident’ so people could see how I looked.

First, my head. I have on a thick ribbed grey knitted cap which fits tightly over the head down my forehead. Underneath I have beautiful thick, curly blonde hair but I’m not showing it at all.

On my body I have several layers of light grey & black, mostly loose. One of the light grey things is like an ‘athlete’ shirt which has medium-thin straps that show all the shoulders & arms, except there’s the black under that. I’m so covered no one could see any hint of how I am underneath, so he isn’t choosing me for that.

*(MY LAYERS OF CLOTHES, BLACK & GREY, EVERYTHING COVERED & CONCEALED: This is a spiritual concealment, not physical. When we dated my body was obviously revealed; it was my SPIRIT that was hidden.

This says that HIS ATTRACTION TO ME WAS NOT MY BODY BUT HE SAW, FELT THE SPIRIT INSIDE ME—THAT WE WERE KIN & HE CHOSE ME AS HIS FROM THE BEGINNING.

Because I’m saying, I was concealed, no one could see my body – my body is the Real Me, True Self, God Self, but this explains he saw or felt this Real Me.

BLACK & GREY LAYERS CONCEALING ALL: This is me being a mystery – people don’t know who I am like the general population did not know who Jesus was until it was revealed. The Three Kings knew who He was, his Holy Mother & foster Father knew who He was, Holy Anna & St. Simon knew who He was, the Shepherds discovered he was Holy when the angels told them. His identity was revealed to the privileged but hidden to normal folks—Herod feared him not because he was a Spiritual Giant but he was predicted to be a King, & Herod thought he would be an earthly King—but of course Jesus said to Pilate in answer to the question if he was a King,

“My Kingdom is not of this world.”

Even his close friends & Apostles were not certain who He was when he asked who do people say I am? They said things like ‘Prophet’ but then Peter blurted out,

“You are the Messiah!”

And so, even though Jesus did many miracles & healings, his True Identity was still hidden, unrevealed, not obvious. It took the Holy Spirit to show Peter who Jesus was—Jesus said so.

In this dream, it says I saw the identity of my Beloved Bobby – I saw his God Self from the start. And he also saw that I was his Anointed mate, & in the end of this dream it’s revealed we were mates in a previous lifetime

THICK GREY RIBBED CAP ON MY HEAD COVERING HAIR, EVERYTHING, DOWN MY FOREHEAD: This is how thoroughly my God-Self was hidden to the public, yet my Soul Mate instinctively felt it. Covering the head would be covering the mind & thoughts, ‘Where my head is.”)*

OK, then I get close to the man, & as I do so, amazingly, he is shorter than me. I have my left hand over his shoulder, gently rubbing it like to show him I like him. He’s wearing a blue or green spandex type top, soft, it’s pleasant to have my hand on it as I caress him.

*(AMAZINGLY HE IS SHORTER THAN ME: This is spiritual stature. All is relative as far as this; he’s a foot higher than most people spiritually, but not as tall as I am. It means I evolved closer to God in previous lifetimes than he had, but still, we are both Great Souls.

MY HAND ON HIM, CARESSING: This could be saying first he put his hand on me to choose me, now I put my hand on him to accept.

GREEN/BLUE SOFT SPANDEX OUTFIT: This is here on earth, blue like the sky, green like the earth. We meet on the earth, he singles me out, I accept him. We desire each other. Hand on

SHOULDER: is comforting—as shoulders are what we carry the cross on.)*

To my surprise he starts speaking to me in RUSSIAN! He doesn’t know English at all! I try to explain to him, that my Grandma was Russian. We’re looking for something in common – he asked me like who I was or what I was about or something. I say to his attendants – how do you say Grandma in Russia? I say her name, her first name was Luba & her last married name I will not say, & it was Lithuanian anyway so it would be irrelevant. He has two female attendants who apparently know both languages; they’re dressed in red & are his height.

*(HE SPEAKS RUSSIAN, DOESN’T KNOW ENGLISH: This is the key to the dream, this scene/symbol opens up the entire meaning. I then bring up my Grandma {while trying to find some common ground},

RUSSIAN GRANDMA: Here I go back a couple generations to show WHAT WE HAVE IN COMMON. This tells me that the reason this man singled me out is that we were in relationship some generations ago – in a different land, culture & language.

He did not single me out merely for physical, in this lifetime, looks or anything. He saw through my COVERING or physical cover, the underlying IDENTITY or person he knew long ago – when we were together IN ANOTHER LIFETIME.

This explains why he’s CHOSEN ME. It’s like the Three Kings who sought out Jesus because he was their Guru in a previous lifetime. He was continuing his life in another body, but he was that SAME SOUL.

This dream explains that it is the GOD SELF that is reborn again & again in other bodies, that is the identity that continues. The body dies, the outward form, connection with the physical is all gone, & there’s a new body, nationality, culture & language. But the SOUL / GOD SELF has not CHANGED, it’s deep inside.

When people are drawn to each other in a mysterious/compulsive way, as if they knew each other before, it could what’s called TWIN FLAMES. Twin flames loved each other in a previous lifetime & have business to finish. Just as the Three Kings honored Jesus as their reincarnated Guru & gave him precious gifts, twin flames feel something that is underneath the physical, culture, language, cover & they feel a pull, a pull that will make them go through anything to be together.

This is why this Great man puts his finger on me – first lightly, then strongly, to say,

“YOU ARE THE ONE. I CHOOSE YOU.”

Out of all the people on earth, the twin flames recognize each other as being ONE, they cannot be happy with anyone else.)*

Then it seems it’s just him & me talking, a bit off to the side, & I try to reach him in ‘sign language.’

I want to tell him he’s a great man, & I make gestures to that effect of ‘something great.’ He isn’t aware I’m describing him & he asks who that is.

I point to him & say,

“It’s you.”

(SIGN LANGUAGE-GREAT MAN IS YOU: I am the only one he knows who recognizes his God-Self & that it is highly evolved. The people around him do not see this at all. Some have demoralized him, others diminish him, he has never had anyone ‘restore’ him or confirm his great God Identity. The reason we want to be together is called Divine Relationship—our God-Selves recognize each other.)

College of God & Love, College of Love Making, College of Matriarchal Love, Uncategorized

LOVER WAS TRAUMATIZED

LOVER WAS TRAUMATIZED

4-7-20-LOVER IS FRANK SINATRA & GREAT LADY

Reviewed & analyzed for someone else

Great prayers beget great dreams. I know this to be a result of my desperate prayers. I prayed to Mother God to assist me personally, I brought myself closer to her saying in every way how my happiness, my Heaven, can only happen when She is ONE with me. The problem is I criticize & judge myself too much, I cannot find peace of mind & happiness as I’m always finding fault with myself. My schedule, lifestyle, activities are not perfect by my standards, so I am always looking down at myself—I know this is wrong; it’s due to being abused, despised, criticized by my Mom & others.

This abuse lives in my head, in a sense, like Mom & Co are still there, their programs keep playing out. I realize this but am having trouble stopping, so I prayed strongly until I fell asleep.…………………….

FRANK SINATRA appears. Frank was a great guy, I helped him out of Purgatory, & so when he appears in this dream I don’t know if it’s really Sinatra or my lover/husband Peter.

Frank is sitting against a wall & I come close to him. He wants to tell me something & it’s very loving & intimate.

*(FRANK SINATRA: Is my lover/husband Peter. Why does he appear as Frank? Could it be because he wants to be a vocalist/rapper? Or an actor?

PURGATORY, I HELPED HIM OUT OF IT: This could apply to my lover as I helped him out of the earthly Purgatorial state he was in, doing multiple exorcisms, Masses & prayers for years, getting rid of many demons, freeing him up for God & peace of mind.)*

He says to me in a way that penetrates my heart – it’s like we melt into each other, he says,

“Wherever I go, whatever I do, I will always take you with me.”

I see over his heart three stripes, the rest of him is a sepia color, monochromatic, but the stripes remind me of the Lithuanian flag, yellow, green & red.

So he’s saying he’ll always carry me in his heart. It’s hard to explain the feeling that goes with this, it’s deep.

(MY FLAG STRIPES OVER HIS HEART, HE’LL ALWAYS TAKE ME WHEREVER HE GOES: This is saying I will always be in his heart, a part of him, united, that he will always love me.)

AFTER THAT starts another dream.

I walk into a large room. To the right is a Great Lady, hovering over a man sitting at a ‘cafeteria style’ table. She seems to be comforting him, sort of consoling & flirting, he seems to be wearing an ‘army olive’ color top. But when I walk in she immediately stands up – in fact – in these dreams whenever I enter a room, she stands up to greet me—I’m impressed because this shows so much respect.

*(GREAT LADY: My Mother God within me, the Presence of God, the Real Me, who I really am, “I am a Soul, I have a body, my purpose is Love.”

This God-Self RESPECTS MY LOWER SELF GREATLY, She stands up whenever I enter a room. This is the respect ‘God the Father’ would give his own Son, Jesus Christ, because it is in the body that God implemented our salvation. It is in the body God suffered, not in Heaven, not in the God Self, but in the lower self, & so, great respect is given to ‘God the Son’.

In the same way, God my Mother is giving the respect to my lower self or body – She did her work through God her Daughter.)*

She also is saying to me, by her action, that yes, she was giving attention to this guy at the table, but I’m more important than him.

(MAN AT TABLE SHE IS CONSOLING: This is the lover/husband. Yes, She loves him, but gives more honor/respect to me.)

As she stands up I see how tall she is – about six feet – her arms & legs are long, she has long brown hair to the middle of her back & wearing a clinging red mini dress. She puts her arms around me & holds me a while.

*(SIX FEET TALL LADY: This is my spiritual height, I was shown/told – the same as Joan of Arc in Heaven. By contrast, my dear Dad is a dwarf. I saw him in Heaven, I bent down to him to say hello, it was whimsical, because I always looked up to him & in his obituary the author said he looked at him as a saint. He’s a small saint.

By contrast, my wicked Mom & brother are lower– I did not see them standing but sitting in a dim light in the balcony of Heaven–& in another vision Mom was in a small house—the size of an apt, like one-bedroom, plain, with a picture of my brother on the table waiting for him to join her {he’d not yet died}. There was a sign that she ‘just made it’ into Heaven – the sign was that outside I saw a stovepipe, smoke was coming out, & it had tar on it—tar means Hell.

In comparison I might add that the beautiful actor Errol Flynn inhabits an entire tropical island suspended in Heaven! Yes he had a long Purgatory, but he had underneath it all, a good heart, he gave a lot to those he loved & he did suffer—people don’t realize how much he suffered—read his book, ‘My Wicked, Wicked Ways.’)*

She’s some kind of an executive, an important Lady in show business production.

Then I hear an inner voice & I repeat it to her:

“Make a video/movie {I hear a description or word that denotes like ‘behind the scenes production’ but can’t recall that word} of Frank & myself.”

Frank is a vocalist. I’m thinking about that. Does he still have a voice? It’s odd that I would tell this great lady to do this movie–that she would listen & obey. Who am I to tell her what to do? But she respects me that much. I see her sitting at a desk to my left front, with her assistants around her, she has a staff. She has a thoughtful face, she’s also beautiful.

I see us being busy making this movie but can’t recall details.

*(THE MOVIE I SAY TO MOTHER GOD SHE SHOULD MAKE ABOUT US: I am stumped Mother God. I already tried to help him years ago & it backfired on me. Now what? Is this literally true or what is it a symbol of?

She: This I believe refers to ‘Reality TV.’ You, the flesh, under inspiration, is saying to create a Reality Show about you & him, with him as a performer.

Me: But would it work?

She: Yes.

Me: I can see it now. He & I have an emotional reunion. He confesses to his mistakes, he professes his love, I interrogate him & he repents it all.

We have a spiritual wedding with all the trimmings.

Then, I rent a place to preach, with a pulpit. I give a rousing sermon. Sermon over, I take off my robe & under it a scanty outfit. I dance–splits, kicks, the whole megilla. He pops out & raps & dances. His beauty will be recognized as well as his talent. We could even do a Jayne Mansfield, Micky Hargitay routine; she called ‘adagio,’ where she climbed on him for poses. The fact that its an old lady with ‘America’s Most Beautiful Man’ will get views.

Mother God: You have the wherewithal to do this, do it & it will create a sensation. Send it to all the TV media & they will take you on, haha.)*

Last thing I do recall is I am in an apt, mine & lovers, & someone has stolen & removed our bed—the apt is Hollywood long ago. We were both sleeping on the floor on a light blue rug—it was comfortable, lots of covers, warm. My side has more of the nice blue rug, his side has a bit of a black one, like the rubber mats I have, not as comfortable.

*(HIS SIDE, BLACK RUBBER MAT, NOT AS COMFORTABLE: He’s more miserable without you than you are without him.

THE APT IN HOLLYWOOD: You shared with a demonic con artist. This is saying Satan broke you & Peter up – took away your bed or intimacy.)*

When we wake up I look at our situation & talk about the bed, & basically say it’s not a terrible thing, we just have to buy another bed, maybe a Queen sized one.

(BUY ANOTHER BED, QUEEN SIZED: The past doesn’t matter, we can improve our relationship.)

I recall a scene where I was getting ready to ‘go out’ with Frank. I had on the most ordinary thick-material black dress, loose. Then I say,

“This is Frank Sinatra – he deserves me being dressed up nicely. I then remove a form-fitting black leather jacket (nice one) off myself with maybe black leather gloves, & place it on a table near the door. He’s watching.

I go to get clothes & find a medium light brown wool tight skirt with a flare (it’s gathered in the back under the hips, with a cloth band across it maybe, so much like the type of skirts I used to love as a kid) & put it on, in front of a mirror – it might be the kind of wool that has colorful flecks in it – I used to wear those as a teen. Frank is behind me. Can’t recall what else I put on or where we go.

*(REMOVE LOOSE BLACK DRESS, REMOVE BLACK LEATHER JACKET, LOOK FOR NICE CLOTHES AS FRANK IS SPECIAL: End of our separation, which was like an ending or funeral, time to be together again. I feel like my old self, when I was young.

SKIRT LIKE BACK IN THE DAY: The wool is sheep or submit {sheep are submissive} again to have sex with him – the hint is this is a skirt which covers the lower part of the body—It’s light brown with flecks, which might denote ‘serious color’ rather than depressing black, & the flecks & flare might say ‘a fun skirt—have fun, enjoy life again.’)*

One strange little scene. Frank is once again sitting against a wall on the floor. The Great Lady is nearby & she says,

“He’s part black” or maybe she said “he’s black.”

I look at his face. It’s a child’s face, like compressed so it’s too wide, {but his body is that of an adult}, with medium light brown skin & both his cheeks are as puffy as baseballs, with those stripes like he had on his heart on both his cheeks {my native country flag stripes}. I carefully bend over to him & kiss his little cheek lightly, just as you would that of a child, a sweet little peck.

*(CHILD’S FACE MY FLAG STRIPES ON HIS CHEEKS, HIS CHEEKS LIKE BASEBALLS, COMPRESSED HEAD, BROWN SKIN: This is the child within, who was damaged. The compressed head could be injury, mental compression. Consider when a person is strangled, their neck is compressed until they can’t breathe. This squeezing down on the head could be mental trauma affecting one’s brain or mind, he can’t think straight.

SITTING AGAINST A WALL: In a desperate place, nowhere to go, like being cornered.

CHEEKS LIKE BASEBALLS—these are called ‘chipmunk cheeks’ because chipmunks fill themselves up with food & store it in their burrows. When people store a great deal, they are preparing against future need or ‘famine,’ – people who have fear of war or poverty hoard many necessities, including food. {In these ‘Pandemic’ times people are doing it—the media is encouraging hysteria. The revoking of civil rights is far worse than the virus.}

I saw a man who had lived through WWII in Germany, now living in America–his cellar was stocked with canned goods & grains like it was a bunker.

These fat cheeks represent INSECURITY, fear of being without, & both cheeks have your flags. This means the child within him needs you – a symbol of SECURITY & all that it represents—someone to love him like a Mother, take care of him, not reject or abandon him.

It means he’s FIXATED on the trauma of what was done to him. He was HURT, REJECTED, ABUSED & EMOTIONALLY ABANDONED BY BOTH PARENTS. He needs you to give him safe space, harbor, a place of trust, where he WON’T BE AFRAID.

HE’S BLACK: The black people have been severely abused in America & elsewhere, first as slaves with no human rights, second as ‘economic slaves’ with limited opportunities, sharecropping, menial & unskilled labor, lowest wages, prejudice & hate. The Great Lady/Mother God is telling you this has been his fate – he’s been treated this way, all here described—as a child.

THE SWEET PECK ON HIS CHEEK: You are treating him like a child, with the tenderness/gentleness a child needs—you’ve been careful to recognize the damage here & just because he has a man’s body, you have not assumed he has ‘grown up,’ – matured fully. You have known all along he was BADLY hurt & his behavior reflects that. You forgave all his hurtful actions toward you on that basis.)*

The feeling overall is that Frank is a great star, he loves me & wants to be with me & he makes me happy.

(FRANK IS A STAR: You see him & treat Peter like a star, to you he is.)

College of God & Love, College of Love Making, College of Matriarchal Love, Uncategorized

LOVER BUYS ME WEDDING DRESS

MY LOVER WANTS TO MARRY ME.

HE’S SICK WITH WORRY ABOUT OUR

BEING APART

4-6-20-HE BRINGS WEDDING DRESS-DESPERATE 4 MY LOVE

Interpreted for a friend.

I’m in my house upstairs, standing in one of the halls. To the right is the bath, to the left a large closet with no door, across the door is open to the guest room.

My good husband Richard did not sleep all night (I slept) but he still went out to work & he’s just returned. I see he has bought MY WEDDING DRESS & semi-secretly, he is putting it into the closet—I see half of it before he pushes it back to maybe hide it. I don’t think he sees me looking, he doesn’t look at me.

*(RICHARD MY GOOD HUSBAND: This is Hal, the man I love who loves me. When his disposition toward me is great he appears as Richard, because Richard was the best man I ever had.

SLEEP-DID NOT SLEEP ALL NIGHT: This indicates concern, worry; sleeplessness is when one’s MIND is not at rest. Notice I DID sleep – because I am not worried about Hal & myself, I know we’ll be together.

WEDDING DRESS, HE BOUGHT MY WD: This says he’s planning to be with me as man & wife. He’s thinking & doesn’t know I can read his mind so he doesn’t see me – but I see him.

CLOSET, THIS CLOSET: This particular closet has meaning. Look to details of each symbol. I asked myself ‘How is this closet different from the other ones?’ This is where I housed the clothing for my male models in preparation to photograph them. So this closet means PREPARATION, BEING READY TO FULFILL A ROLE, AN IMAGE. Into this closet Hal, now being the good husband, prepares to treat me like the wife that I am, to even present me to the world that way.)*

I am highly surprised at his buying my wedding dress. I see white net, with a row of beautiful artificial flowers embedded on it, the flowers like a big ‘corsage’ from the waist type deal down the skirt, some are bigger, then they get smaller in a row, all are white large petals completely open with stamens inside. I didn’t want to let him know that I saw the dress in case he wanted to keep it secret.

*(HOW THE DRESS LOOKS: White net is see-through, apparent or obvious—I have picked up his plans easily, he might be showing his intentions to others—in other words, his thoughts & plans ARE SHOWING. The

WHITE BLOSSOMS, FULLY OPEN, LIKE A CORSAGE: Are love, fully OPEN blossoms, petals, means his heart is open to this marriage.)*

I also felt sorry for him because he must be so tired, but he’s hanging in there, & I see him standing to the rest room door to the right, he seems shorter this moment as in real life he’s tall–& he has a small pot belly & a spare tire on his middle, he’s naked & there is a kind of soft light around him, soft yellow like sunshine.

*(SHORTER THAN IN REAL LIFE: He’s humbled himself.

POT BELLY & SPARE TIRE: Could be he’s being nourished by God/grace as I see

LIGHT AROUND HIM: For sure the Grace of God, he’s SEEING THE LIGHT, I see his spiritual awakening.)*

Oh yes, at one point I went to sneak-peak at the dress & it was not the same dress. It was a party dress, sort of Latin, in many bright colors, hugging the body, then flaring out with a grey ribbon across the flare. I hated the sleeves, like they buttoned midway between the wrist & elbow – for me that is tight & uncomfortable. I thought to myself

“This is not the dress I want. I don’t think I’ll wear it, it probably won’t fit me anyway.”

Did he buy this dress? I also thought it looked ordinary, even cheap; I’m surprised he would buy such a garment for me.

*(THE PARTY DRESS I DID NOT LIKE, WON’T WEAR: This is the relationship as it was before I stopped. All we did was sex. For him it was ‘releasing his love’ & getting mine & for a while, I felt it was the only thing I could do, but then I knew I could never be happy this way. This you could call ‘cheap’ in that the lover does nothing with effort or respect, does not present me to his people, presents a different woman on social media, while I’m the secret ‘play toy.’ No, I will not wear this dress means I will not PLAY THIS ROLE.

On the other hand, the white dress he put into the closet represents the purity of True Love, & being transparent (the net) to the public about it—

NET is also a symbol of ‘catching someone’ like a fish in a net—people are proud of ‘catching’ someone they love & showing them off.)*

Then in the room across, standing with his back to the front window, his front to the bed & me, is a person I scarcely recognize from long ago, who was my best friend for years. He misjudged me on something, accused me & broke up. He’s here now but hard to recognize, I keep saying,

“Joe, is it you? Joe, is it you?”

He doesn’t look like himself. His hair is like a sort of woman’s wig, very thick in front sticking out, thick in back, sticking out also, very grey, strange. And on the back of the hair is a pair of light blue cotton women’s panties, just sitting there hugging the hair like some sort of cap.

*(WHO IS JOE? Joe is the same man in the form of Rich, the good husband—I have never seen both of them in the same dream – Joe is another persona or aspect of Hal.

Joe represents here Hal knows he was MISTAKEN in breaking up with me—I did not do what he accused me of. This says he’s SORRY & WORRIED SICK over us being apart. The clues are:

THE THICK GREY HAIR:

Means worry, lots of it. Sticking out the front & the back is both sides of the brain, the primitive back brain & the temporal lobes in front, which is spiritual & intellectual & checks impulses or lower self. This is really worried, haha.

WOMEN’S UNDERWEAR, LIGHT BLUE COTTON PANTIES LIKE A CAP

: What he’s worried about, we’re not together, not intimate, not having sex. And furthermore, he is standing in:

THE GUEST ROOM: He is not standing in my bedroom – where he would be INTIMATE with me, he’s in the guest room, which means we are apart. That underscores the WORRY.

His face is hard to distinguish. It’s angular & vertical in its lines, & sort of ‘bleached out’ or his features all run together. His nose & head are thin, all his features thin & vertical.

{His face reminds me of this poor man I saw on TV who was wrongly accused of killing his wife & children, an ex-cop. He spent THIRTEEN YEARS in & out of jail, two trials, two appeals before he was exonerated—NOT GUILTY, thirteen years of torture. His uncle fought for him on the outside. The people investigating his case from the get-go botched the whole thing – there was a t shirt of the perpetrator right by the crime – they did not even send out to have his DNA checked on Codis—lied that they had done it with no results. Years went by with new lawyers pushing, it was finally checked, & there was the killer. I was rooting so hard for the poor cop.}

His hair is so strange that I say jokingly to a male friend also in the room, standing to my left,

“Hey, maybe you should get a hairdo like that.”

*(ANOTHER MALE FRIEND: Whenever there’s a random male friend near him, I assume it to be his Guardian Angel, who I’ve prayed to often for help. I’m joking with the Guardian Angel about how WORRIED Hal is. This pain he’s going through is salutary because pain is the ‘megaphone of God’ – ‘God whispers to us in our pleasures & shouts to us in our pain’ & also the cliché ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ & to top it off, ‘You never miss your water ‘till the well runs dry.’ And might I add ‘Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?’

FACE LIKE THE POOR COP WRONGLY ACCUSED: As I describe here this man suffered greatly a long time & the liberation he dubbed ‘a miracle.’ The face shows depression. Hal feels like that—he’s endured pain about me for a long time & longs to be set free. That’s what he’s experienced– if he felt the pain I have, given me by him, he’d be dead.)*

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Uncategorized

WHY HE’S AN ADDICT CONFIRMED

CONFIRMS WHY SOMEONE I KNOW IS AN ADDICT

4-5-20-DISCLOSURE & POVERTY

Interpreted for an out-of-state friend, it’s no one you know.

I see a lover of mine, Fred, in a mental way ‘standing in front of me’ & he speaks clearly as if he was right here in the room. He says,

“I am a VICTIM. My father raped me from the time I can remember until I was twelve years old.”

This is spoken in a matter-of-fact way, delivering a message/statement—information. It seems to be an answer to yesterday’s dream, where I spoke about Fred & Fredonia–they were desperate for money as both are addicts & the dream said he had committed a burglary. He’s explaining why he’s an addict—which I already knew but he confirms it.

In the next vision I see a cloth bag with two cloth handles{looks like light-colored burlap}, & inside the bag is the head of his wife, just her head–there is no blood but still, a head without a body is creepy.

*(JUST HER HEAD: She is a ‘head’ which in slang means ‘addict:’

Urban slang dictionary: “Can refer to any sort of user, but was originally most associated with the use of psychotropic substances like mescaline, LSD and DMT. … Stoner”

HEAD IN BAG: Means this is ‘her bag’ or what she likes, the song ‘Pappa’s Got a Brand New Bag.’)*

I see her head out of the bag from the back, & embedded in the back of her neck is a round copper-colored metal ‘ring’—solid like the middle of a tire—it looks like that but small, about 3.5” across. It’s puffy in the middle, then an indentation around, then a ridge, & on the outside of the ridge are small holes {only big enough for threads}. Half the ring is inside her neck, half sticking out—not a vision I enjoy seeing.

COPPER RING EMBEDDED IN NECK: Need help, MomGod.

She: My best guess is the ring is a PENNY {they are copper} because they HAVE NO MONEY.—It’s

IN HER NECK: because the lack of money {for her ‘head need’ or drugs} is a huge problem or PAIN IN HER NECK. The tiny holes on the outside edge of this penny are only big enough for a

THREAD—this refers to ‘by a thread’ which means ‘in a tentative way’, a way that can ‘break’ or end easily. Their economic situation is they got by ‘on a thread’ or lived week to week, day by day, to supply needs plus substances. But you notice there is NO THREAD in any of the holes, it’s not there, they have nothing, not even the bare survival they did before.)*

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Uncategorized

MOVING TO ROCK BOTTOM

LOVER MOVING TO ROCK BOTTOM

– THIS COULD BE THE PLACE WHERE

HE WILL REACH OUT TO ME

4-4-20-DREAM WARNS LOVER TURNS BURGLAR

interpreted for an out-of-state friend, it’s no one you know

This is short but carries a heavy warning. A lover has done a burglary.

I’m in the apt in B’klyn when on the left I see standing there Harry, who’s been in jail for years on multiple burglaries. He did them with his girl friend, Hannah. I say to him,

“Are you still with Hannah?”

He says yes so I know he did this under her influence—with her/for her, still doing burglaries.

I express disgust & say,

“And you have a JOB!”

MEANING:

*(HARRY: The real Harry is still in jail but Harry represents the lover Fred & this warns he has burglarized a place.

This would be a result of the Pandemic – the roommate lost her job & they both do substances. This would be his, their, solution to the problem, but if it continues it’s guaranteed, at some point he’ll get caught, then jail—no drugs, no job in jail. {If this really happened, unless he made a huge haul he’d have to steal again & again & ‘crime doesn’t pay.’ Stealing would be a temporary solution to poverty; as soon as the money’s gone he/they would steal again—the terrible fate of addicts.

Jail might be for the best as if they hold him there a while he’ll go through withdrawal. {That could be dangerous, though, as when addicts get out of jail they take a dose of drugs like Heroin that is far too strong, the amount they were used to prior to withdrawal, & they die of it. {I no longer know what substances Fred & Fredonia are on—he lies about it. But I do know their relationship is based on getting/sharing drugs….the Harry I know in jail, admitted it was to get more drugs.}

But then again, God told me lover Fred had to hit ‘rock bottom’ before he’d come to me. If he loses his job by being in jail, that would be about as poor as he/they could get. They would both be unemployed. Right now he works but refuses to pay the bills dreams tell me because he needs the bread for substances……… What would he do then? That might be the catalyst God told me would happen some day:

“He will have nowhere to go, he will come to you.”

Me: Well MomGod, would I want him in that condition? Would he be dangerous to me as far as stealing?

She: Not if you support him, haha. If you don’t help him then he might, but you will help him & the prayers, rituals, healings you do on him will eventually free him of drugs. You’ve partway healed him already but he has to come to you for the rest. This is his destiny—don’t be afraid.

As far as his behavior – he knows where his bread is buttered – he stuck with this girl for years for the money. Yes, he was unfaithful but he presented her on social media with the respect a wife gets.

He’ll stick with you like glue & walk the line because if he leaves he’ll be flat broke, no roof, no food, no substances {or else return to Mom & Pop like a baby—he’s a grown man, that would be embarrassing & traumatic–& they would provide only ‘bed & breakfast’.} And he’s always been in love with you but he stayed with the other lady for the drug money/survival—he did not have the courage to ask you.)*

Me: MomGod, about money. A lot of my money is in stocks which are now rock bottom. You told me years ago that putting it in blue chip stocks would result in a payoff like the lotto. When will the market go up & will the stocks be valuable?

She: When this ‘Pandemic’ blows over the stocks will shoot up & in about eight years your money will be huge. You will never have any worries financially, be at peace.

Me: MomGod, another issue. People have been criticizing me about this person all the while because of my age. Of course they will say I’m just an old lady & he’s with me for money. How do I deal with that?

She: No matter who you are, where you go, what you do, there will always be people to judge & criticize. Disregard them, ‘God is no respecter of persons,’ so if God doesn’t care about their opinion, why should you? —they are uneducated, ignorant, some of them twisted & damaged, just say ‘Mother, forgive them, for they know not what they do’.

Or else, tell them off, which you’re good at. They deserve it. In other words, if they say something bad on social media, answer them in kind, then forget it—water off a duck’s back. They wish they were in your shoes, just say, ‘Oh, he’s with me for money? Then I’m glad I have it.’)*

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

MY THREE AUDIENCES

DREAM EXPLAINS MY THREE AUDIENCES: REGULAR TEACHING,

PREACHING, BASIC CHRISTIAN

TENETS–MY ADORING MALE AUDIENCE WHO LIKE ME FOR

‘FANTASIES’–

& THE FEMALES WHO ACCEPT THE NEW RELIGION

‘WOMAN THOU ART GOD’

4-3-20-CHURCHES-3 DIFFERENT CROWDS

Unusual dream. First, I’m in a church. Don’t know why I’m there because I never go to church any more– can’t recall the service except being there. The church is medium-large, seats maybe one thousand at most, seems fairly plain but not totally, has some familiar Christian embellishments.

*(CHURCH, DON’T GO ANY MORE: Me: MomGod, I’m already stumped. Have no idea what this could mean – help!

She: A Church is a meeting or gathering place of like-minded people or those who believe the same.

CHRISTIAN EMBELLISHMENTS, FAMILIAR: This is your regular work where you teach or preach the things Jesus taught, the basic principles in all good religion including Jesus’ source, Buddhism.

I get the feeling that this describes three different audiences you have ON THE INTERNET. You’ve just been talking to the Lithuanian JOURNALIST who wants to do a story on you. You shared your LINKS with him – all the ways you reach people. This might be showing the different reactions different people have to your work.)*

The scene changes. The entire church fills up with MEN—every seat taken, they are all around me, many close to me, all eagerly looking at the altar. Some of these men are handsome—they are all bathed – the entire church – in a dim grey/blue light, almost like a mist, a dreamy feeling. The unusual thing is their facial expressions of EAGERNESS, & also, they all seem GAY, even those who appear masculine, somehow I sense this is an all-gay audience. I ask one man what this is about, & he says,

“It’s because of a BOOK.”

*(GAY MEN, ENTIRE CHURCH FILLED WITH THEM: The gay is not homos, it refers to happy, they are happy, in harmony or agreement about something.

CHURCH FILLED, ALL SEATS TAKEN: This is a unanimous agreement. My feeling is this has to do with my You Tube videos. I get hundreds of comments, many new ones a day, of males infatuated with me–& there are huge numbers of hits. This shows them in a dreamy state, having fantasies. This is how men feel about me. {I never expected this as I am much older now, but for some reason they adore me.}*

This audience disappears & a third one appears. Women are close to me, so close, they are practically taking up my space–& all the women are BLACK & it’s a religious meeting, camp meeting, revival, something like that. This is not dreamy like the men were – the vision is clear, sharp & colorful. The women are all wearing bright colors, hats. This is not all seats taken as the men’s deal was – only about a quarter of the seats are full, mostly crowded toward the front, it is a totally different feel.

But as they crowd into my space I decide to leave. I take my purse (thank God no one stole it) & some type of soft blue suede leather jacket, which I wrap around myself & then head out. I’m very respectful of God & on my way out I walk before the altar, from the area of the exit, I kneel in reverence. But somehow the women persuade me to stay longer – I do, but can’t recall anything else.

*(THIRD AUDIENCE, ALL WOMEN: This is so TELLING! Yes, I figured what this is about – various audiences, how they respond to me.

This is the new work I’m doing on my website, www.EmbodimentofGod.com as well as my blog with William Bond. Here is presented THE NEW RELIGION, FOR WOMEN ONLY – ‘WOMAN, THOU ART GOD!’

This audience, of women only – not many because there aren’t that many hits (not much promotion) – are women who agree with me totally & are, here depicted, INSPIRED, like a REVIVAL MEETING or Pentecostal—Pentecostal meaning the Holy Spirit has hit them.

They are black because it is their flesh, their bodies are revived, they are happy to be WOMEN—in other words, not just for their souls, but their gender because I am saying their gender is God.

WEARING BRIGHT COLORS & HATS: This is their EMOTIONS being revived, their feelings are good, bright, positive, the

HATS: are POSITIONS they now see themselves in, as LEADERS, being important, superior & autonomous. I suggest we women LEAVE MEN & create our own society, agenda, point of view, religion—everything according to our own needs & wishes. This is most definitely a REVIVAL FOR WOMEN & the fact that they are SO CLOSE TO ME I have to move is how much in favor they are of what I’m saying—so much so that they are asking me to STAY LONGER which means they want to hear more from me about this new religion!

College of God & Love, College of Love Making, College of Matriarchal Love, Uncategorized

HOPES FAILED<>LOVE REMAINS

HOPES FAILED<>LOVE REMAINS

4-2-20-BROKEN MANSE HIDING VALUABLES-SCARY MOVIE SET & MOVIE ON LOCATION

There was a MOVIE SET I am present at & it is SCARY.

(MOVIE SET I AM IN: Theater of life, my life.)

It has something suspended way in the air, as if not attached to anything – a vehicle. Later I see it as attached, & on top is a truck (like you use for hauling, two or three times as big as a pickup truck, its open in back, its painted red, the rest is grey & black. Its suspended way up & precariously angled at a 90 degree downward.

I think to myself that some crazy guy might get into it & drive it with dire consequences & suddenly someone does. He is in it, gets it started & drives down some kind of ramp—fortunately no accidents occur.

*(VEHICLE, TRUCK, PRECARIOUS 90 DEGREE ANGLE: A way given, possibly from Heaven (high above, seemed not attached to the earth but then later you see is attached), that seems scary & dangerous – a way of doing something one needs to do – possibly getting out of a bad situation. It has to do with a male you are concerned about – could be lover Peter who is in dire straits, & it’s scary for him to MAKE A MOVE—but HE DOES IT.

RED TRUCK BEING DRIVEN: person is in a scary, painful situation but boldly makes a move & comes out OK.)*

This entire thing is a MOVIE SET. What am I doing here? Guess I’m in it. The company has taken over a huge mansion like a palace with ornate interiors – besides the scary contraption we are all in this ornately furnished mansion.

*(HUGE MANSION COMPANY HAS TAKEN OVER: Residence is a PLACE OF CONSCIOUSNESS, where one’s mind & heart are – good or bad. To be in a mansion like this is SPIRITUAL GREATNESS or being in a good state – your state. Extreme stress moves one closer to God, we are closer to God when suffering. The

SCARY CONTRAPTION: is what does one have to do in this time to survive? This Pandemic? Where people are thrown on their ass, without work or money or security? What do they do?)*

Right now I am outside in a kind of yard, looking into the great mansion as well as an old mansion to the left which is completely decrepit on the outside, falling down walls, roof, all caving in, all made of dark wood, two floors high. It’s on a lot with buildings within 10-15’ of it on all sides with fences or walls up to the second floor – no one seems to notice it but myself.

*(DECREPIT MANSION: This is the past relationship between you & lover Peter—it is decrepit, fallen apart, the way it used to be is over, finished. You aren’t ‘there’ any more.

WALLS, FENCES HIGH ALL AROUND IT: & no one seems to notice but me, means that no one knew or understood all the great things you had in mind for him, they were & are hidden.)*

Outside a window is a strange sight – like fifty chairs all fitted into each other sticking out of a window, all completely rusted. I jokingly say to a friend nearby, do you need any chairs?—pointing them out.

One standout thing is the

*(CHAIRS, ALL RUSTY, ABOUT 50, ALL FITTED ONE INTO THE OTHER: Chairs are positions, seats like thrones, places of rest or comfort. They represent the things you wanted for Peter – the accomplishments you would help him attain, the kudos, laurels, successes, all now

OUT THE WINDOW: meaning over, finished, will not be. It seems like a joke – all you wished for him – as you speak of it to a friend. ‘Rusty’ means it hasn’t been used, didn’t happen.)*

Another window had other items sticking out, can’t recall what.

But INSIDE I see ornately carved bureaus, hand carved, some goldeny colored, some darker brown, like new, so ornate I know they would cost a fortune.

I think to myself why are those bureaus there, & how could a person get them – valuable, & I don’t understand why they’re in this crumbling, broken down, falling down mansion.

*(VALUABLE, ORNATE, HAND CARVED BUREAUS, SOME GOLDENY, SOME BROWN: What is LEFT of that relationship is not the outside ambitions you had for him but what was inside, the inner value of the love.

Bureaus would be things that hold things – these are

CHESTS OF DRAWERS: Chest refers to heart, & the drawers hold many things. This evokes the heart holding many ways of love, the desires to see another happy, whatever it takes. In other words, your heart held for him many ambitions, desires that you thought would bring him the things he wanted – but he did not cooperate, those things are gone. He will not be a ‘somebody,’ in the eyes of the world – he will not ‘succeed’ at any great career, finding fame or recognition.

But the valuable love is still there wishing to heal him of his maladies, so he can be happy. This you want to retrieve from the failures – take out of that affair what had the deeper meaning.

HAND CARVED: Hands refer to the giving of love.

GOLDENY CHESTS OR BUREAUS: True love, gold is love.

SOME DARKER, BROWN: The dark spots you went through for love have great value, suffering is all we have to give to God – She gives us everything else. {Words of St. Francis of Assisi.})*

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