College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized









Dreams interpreted for friends


          I see lover Donzy sitting in a private sort of closet/room, it’s long with a padded bench along the entire wall – it seems to be about 10’ long & maybe 4’ deep. He’s sitting there against the wall when a young female reaches over a wall to the right, {the wall is rather high, you’d have to be on something to look over} leans over & asks to see his dick.




          *(ASKS TO SEE HIS DICK, YOUNG FEMALE: It’s all about his dick, how large it is. How many times does this have to happen before it gets old? How often does a sexy person get hit on before it gets annoying—being seen as just a sex object? He is young, handsome & huge dicked & can have so many young females—BUT THEY ARE NOT TURNING HIM ON. Most men think they want hundreds of women. But when hundreds of women hit on him then what?)*




          He has it out. I look at it, looks like it is – large, but not hard. Then a second girl looks over the top of this wall next to the first & also asks to see it, & goes further. It was soft, but she touches it & holds it & it gets semi-hard, like half of it on the bottom is swollen but on top it isn’t.


          *(TOUCH MAKES IT HALF HARD: Even when he is touching, petting or doing sex with one of these girls, he isn’t fully excited.)*


          During this episode he looks BORED. Then another girl appears this time inside his room, & she’s prettier than the first two, like curly blonde hair & her breasts are small but very full & with nipples somewhat protruding. This interests him & for a few seconds–he sucks on her right breast, the one closest to him—then falls back like he loses interest—this lasted 3 seconds.


          *(HER BREAST INTERESTS HIM FOR 3 SECS: The breast is a symbol of nurturing & love, motherhood. He needs this sort of love, but this is a young girl & she does not fulfill the image of what he wants & needs – a real mother.)*


          Other females appear, all the same thing. Then a male comes in through the door in back, stands there looking at them, takes out his little dick & masturbates. Donzy doesn’t like that.


          *(OTHER MALE MASTURBATES LOOKING AT THIS: Other males, who don’t have what Donzy has, are not as popular, do not get so many women, & perhaps most of all, do not have a need for a mother as strong as he has – they get turned on by anything sexual & by young females.)*


          Then another one intrudes & similar story, Donzy feels overwhelmed how to stop them. He is bored by the females, annoyed by the males & feels invaded.



  *(FEELS INVADED: This is not the scene he wants, random sex, being seen by so many girls as object—they want him, but he doesn’t want them.)*


          Furthermore, during this time his face changes. First it’s blank, it becomes more GAUNT or HAGGARD -     he goes from his age to like 20 years older, thin, dark shadowy creases on his face. He looks empty, depressed, like what is happening here is meaningless.


          *(FACE GETS OLDER, GAUNT & HAGGARD: I’m going to turn this interpretation over to Mother God, as She will express it better than I can:


          She: This is the situation over a period of time from the day he started dealing with girls until now.


          Because of what he went through during his growing years, he needs a mother. His mother betrayed & abandoned him emotionally. There’s a big hole in his soul for true love & protection.


          He’s always been attracted to older women, but his ‘front’ doesn’t show this – he’s never gone public with his preference except when dating you, it was revealed to some degree.


          He’s been with the young girls continuously now for years – this shows his decreasing interest in them – he’s now fed up with this empty sex – me as sex object – just physical. He’s seen acutely how unsatisfied he is by these transactions – they simply do not stimulate or satisfy his heart, he’s fed up.

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          The dream does not point this out, but this is part of his awakening to what he wants & needs & what he does not. What he does not are young, immature, inexperienced, weak females who are as needy & naive as he is.


          What he wants is the older woman who loves in true love, cares, nurtures, is able to satisfy his emotional, spiritual as well as physical needs. The empty females can only satisfy his body – which is here portrayed as not turning him on any more – he needs love & it your love he needs.

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          And so, he has come to a point where he is aware of how empty life is without you.)*






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Interpreted for a friend


          There’s a big thing about my Lover Ben. I’ve been away for a while & while I was gone he was inundated with two types of aggressive people – a group of gays who started with literature, then presented themselves & wouldn’t leave him alone, & second, one female who gives him a stack of brochures that means ‘I want you’ which I tear up & throw back at her.


          Once I’m back to his side I am fighting all these people. First the gays. It’s like day after day. Like demons, they come back again & again. I fight them off. Then on the last occasion there are five of them & they are so persistent I can’t do any more, I cry at the top of my voice {which seams weakened} for help – & help I believe comes, as they are banished. As I’m fighting lover is sitting in the seat to my right – they are to my left, front, trying to get to him.


          *(FIGHTING GAYS: Ben did have a few determined gays after him, who I did fight & seemed to deter at least for a while. According to this, I was overwhelmed, called for God’s help & it came.)*


          After I’d gone & returned, sat next to him, all his friends to the right saw it & noticed. Not much reaction.


          But when the female comes, stands in front to my left looking at him, tall, curly light brown hair, an eager look on her face {she is nice} & I tear up the brochures, it’s an emotional act.

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          *(BROCHURES: Are like advertisements, proposals. She is offering him herself – I interfere. I don’t know who this refers to as he ‘dated’ several females & had sex with numerous ones.)*



          I am exhausted from the struggles.


          Recall one time going with him to the building where he lives, finding more intrusive mail in his mail box, something about the bottom of a large cardboard envelope falling off, I already dispatched the main part & see it lying on the floor – he says its nothing, just a scrap.


          *(NOTHING, JUST A SCRAP HE SAYS: He pooh poohed all the women he was flirting with while we were together)*

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          Then it becomes two of us, a female to his right, myself to his left, & it’s like we have won over everyone else, but it’s two of us. We are both holding him by the arm marching to his place. She then begins chanting,


          “He’s my gigolo, he’s my gigolo-He’s mine.”


          So many times I lean over the front of him & punch her in the midsection again & again. He stops my arm & says,


          “She’s mine.”


          *(HE’S MY GIGOLO: She bought him with substances. He knew they are evil, using them leads to dire consequences, he knew I wanted health & safety for him, but he chose this.)*


          I then think I guess he’s made his choice, I might as well leave, let go his arm & begin walking away.


          *(HE WALKS WITH BOTH OF US HOLDING HIS ARMS FOR A WHILE but when he says ‘she’s mine,’ I let go & walk away.


          For a while both of us were with him but I finally stopped seeing him. When he says ‘she’s mine’ he presented her, but not me, as his relationship woman on social media.)*


          Prior to that when it was the three of us sort of hanging out – fighting off everyone else, some time had passed & he was no longer the beautiful man I once lauded.


          His face is distorted & the skin on his face is thick made of nothing but white tablets {sort of under translucent skin, hard to explain} going every which way that mean ‘drugs,’ his nose is ugly, his teeth are totally crooked, leaning on top of each other; I think how hard it will be for dentistry to straighten them.


          *(HE TURNS UGLY: This is inner ugliness. His physical remained the same, but his thought patterns, feelings, decisions, activities were ugly.


          His persona is DISTORTED      which means not righteous, not the right way to live.


          TEETH CROOKED: Stupidity, anti wisdom, as teeth in this case are being wise/smart.


          ENTIRE FACE WHITE PILLS GOING EVERY WHICH WAY: White pills could be cocaine, & he is ugly with the desire & use of it – it’s become one with him, he is possessed by it, the woman he chose & cocaine are synonymous, he is an ugly persona now.)*


          I think to myself does he realize how ugly he’s gotten? He should look in the mirror – how could I desire him looking this way? I don’t. I muse about his former beauty. Will he look at his old images I took & then realize the difference or is he blind? He looks gruesome.


          *(UGLY, GREUSOME: He was never this addicted to drugs before, this is extreme & he is not aware how ugly his inner self has gotten.)*




          He is alone with me in my small apt – it only has 3 small rooms, in front of me is a blue door, paint chipped in vertical stripes. I am poor.


          *(BLUE DOOR, I AM POOR: I am poor emotionally, the one I love is not with me.)*


          He appears, wearing maybe an army green tight shirt & he holds me in his arms saying,


          “I love you”


          and this several times. I am not as quick to say I love you back, but I do.


          *(THIS ROOM IN THE MIDDLE: The dream will show a room where my small daughter is {the flesh} & another room to the right – this being the middle is the inner self or HEART. We meet in our hearts, n his heart he loves me in true love, right now, realizing this love more than ever – but I’m holding back as I don’t trust him too much, he’s hurt me so much so many times. The


          ARMY GREEN SHIRT: Might say he’s been through a lot of battles these years.)*


          I was going to start making love with him right then but my small daughter opens that blue door & sees us, so I can’t. I think ‘here he sees me in my poverty. Is he OK living with me here?’


          *(DAUGHTER OPENS DOOR: This inner room where I am is the soul, the God Self, the real me, while the daughter is the flesh, the place where the soul is housed & functions.


          There has been a great battle between myself & my flesh, my Higher Self telling my flesh to back off, leave him alone – I even threatened to kill her if she went out with him again, & I did kill her with the heart attacks.


          Here we are communing on the higher/deeper spiritual level, & my flesh witnesses it – that he loves me in true love now, prior to that he was playing games although the real love was deep inside.


          My emotional poverty – being all alone, having no one – will that put him off? That is to say, I am no longer trying to be popular, he has no competition. Do I fear he’ll take me for granted?)*


          Then we’re in the garage at the old farm house. We are working on things with wood. He wants to make sure I know he loves me, but he adds,


          “Just don’t look in the attic.”

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          *(DON’T LOOK IN THE ATTIC: The attic is where all old things are stored, mementoes, things no longer used, antiques, memories. He dreads that I will recall all the horrible things he did to me – the cruelties. He’s saying don’t go there, don’t recall, don’t let what I did stand between us. Cruel item for example: He has never given me his phone number, but he gives it to every female he meets in bars.





Interpreted for someone else.


          I realize now this dog is my lover Ben.


          I am on an excursion through the woods at the old farm house. It was a sort of ‘deep road’ through the woods in a circle, navigating it took about one hour. In much of it, both sides had ‘walls’ of dirt. Have no idea who created it long ago. If you went straight on one part of it halfway into the circle you went to the other side of the woods, where ran a highway {strangely exactly like where I live, everything on this old farm I bought parallels the old farm I spent half my youth on.}


          So here I go on a sled with my dog running with me – He’s a German shepherd but pure white beautiful elegant dog.


          This journey is so pleasant. The sled slides on the road as if it was pure ice or hard snow – it seems to know the way like it’s alive, so even when we come to a sharp turn left & it might keep going straight & veer off into a body of water to the right – a lake in the dream I guess – it goes along the road as if it has intelligence, & I’m enjoying the ride immensely—great fun.


          *(ROAD, RIDE, PLEASANT: This represents a mental path I go on which leads to psychic visions or revelations. My mind is used to this sort of thought pattern & it’s easy & automatic for me.)*


          We get to the other side, Whitey & I, & come upon a Post Office with a counter & a lady that reminds me of the one I had ages ago who died—she was so nice to me.


          *(POST OFFICE: There’s a MESSAGE or revelation here.)*


          After chatting with her a moment we leave this counter, which is open to the outside & it is then I notice the two DEERS reclining on the counter, both young & beautiful & wearing identical soft, thin neckbands that look like Christmas – green with small speckled decorations of red & other colors.


          *(TWO DEER WITH XMAS NECK BANDS: The revelation is this: Ben was given AS A GIFT a choice of TWO WOMEN—both of whom love him.)*


          For some reason the deer that is closer to the front jumps off the counter & runs & Whitey chases her. This is wrong, but I now he won’t hurt her, he’s just playing. But others don’t see it that way. I try to stop him & chase them both up the highway back toward where we came from when we come to a crossroad.


          *(SHE JUMPS, RUNS, HE CHASES HER: My dog is Ben. He is Whitey because this is about marriage/relationship—he is the groom in white. One of the deer-women runs & he CHASES HER – which is wrong. He has chosen THE WRONG FEMALE FOR A RELATIONSHIP—the other woman, not me.


          “I KNOW HE IS JUST PLAYING” – means I know his intentions are not serious, he’s playing like a player plays—he’s not playing ‘for keeps’ or with sincere intentions.


          CROSSROAD: But there is a serious cross or problem coming up because of his choice.)*


          There a man comes out holding something long which I fear is a gun. I warm him,


          “Don’t kill my dog or I will kill you.”


          He says,


          “I’m not going to kill him, just whack him hard.”


          I feel he wants to teach Whitey a lesson.


          The man seems to come out of a house & his wife is behind him. I don’t know what his connection with this situation is.


          *(MAN WITH WEAPON IN HIS HANDS comes out of a house, wife behind him: I sense this is a man sent by God – whoever he may be – it would be a karmic penalty, the wrath of God put upon Whitey. The fact that this is a house with a husband & wife & the wife is behind him could be saying,


          “We represent a serious marriage or relationship, & this person is playing games.”


          ‘If you kill him I’ll kill you,’


          shows that even though Whitey has made a mistake, against me, I’m still protecting his life – it’s True Love. I did not wish revenge.


“NOT GOING TO KILL HIM, JUST WHACK HIM HARD”: This is saying that the problem, at this ‘crossroad’ or cross, will hit Ben really hard. The only clue I have as to what has or will hit Ben is the


ROD OF STEEL, WITH RIDGES: It reminds me of railroad ties, that fit together, taken apart, one might look this way, with ridges, except this piece is thicker, heavier like iron but grey & shiny like steel & shorter than a railroad tie—maybe 2.5’.


What would a railroad represent? Mother God, help.


She: Railroad is TRAVEL.


Me: OK, who’s traveling or who’s going somewhere?


She: When there’s travel someone leaves, sometimes leaving another behind. This designates a ROUGH DEPARTURE OR SPLIT UP with the woman he was chasing. The


          THREE SIDES, RIDGES: of the rod represent a conflict where there is his side, her side & the truth. They have a problem where they aren’t happy. He sees his side, she hers, & God sees the TRUTH.


          Me: What is the truth?


          She: He chose the wrong woman, the one that would take him downward instead of up, it’s like selling your soul to the devil – he said he had in a poem. She held onto him by negative, harmful means – they were both wrong & the liaison was destined to end in misery, — that’s the hard whack at the crossroad.)*


          But I do see what is in his hands – it’s a sort of heavy dark grey steel rod, with ridges on 3 sides. As he holds it menacingly I am hoping he does not do damage to my dog like hit him in the head – & that’s where this dream ends.


          *(“DON’T KILL HIM” & I continue to worry about the injury this rod will produce. This is the classic example of the decision King Solomon had to make, where two women each claimed maternity over an infant. Solomon testing them saying he would cut the child in half for each one, & one woman cried


          “Don’t do that – let her have it, don’t do harm to the child.”


          And Solomon said,


          “There is the mother.”


          The test for who will get this man is the one who will sacrifice him or give him up if it means saving his life. The other woman didn’t care if she harmed him, she would keep him while hurting him. But if this ROD or PUNISHMENT would lead to his DEATH I am saying


          “Let the other woman have him if the penalty is death. Don’t kill him as a punishment.”


          And so, I am the true Mother/Wife—the one who cares enough to sacrifice him in order to save him.)*









          Interpreted for friends


          This is extremely unusual. I am looking from afar & hearing that Elvis wants to kill himself. He has a gun, he’s going to do himself in by putting it in his mouth, pointed toward his brain, & pull the trigger.


          Everyone hears about this & it’s treated like a crime to be committed. As I said I am afar, like in the air looking down at the streets of the area where he is.


          *(I AM LOOKING FROM THE AIR: My God Self is perceiving what is going on.


          ELVIS: Is lover Henry. MomGod, explain why he would be Elvis.

          She: You once adored him as you did Elvis, put him on a pedestal, made him into a star {in your mind.}


          ELVIS WANT TO KILL HIMSELF: The state of lover Henry’s mind—despair.}*

          I see police gather to prevent this crime – many, like a hundred, & they are spread out on the street & in & near his dwelling, some wearing helmets (is one yellow?), rather different uniforms.


          *(POLICE, DIFFERENT UNIFORMS, one has a yellow helmet: Police are usually ANGELS. This says a large number of them have appeared to help Henry not fall into the abyss. They are of different types against various negative thoughts & feelings – the one with yellow helmet might be against Henry’s COWARDICE, fear, losing hope.)*


          The police are there also to keep people away. They are gathering, as many have heard about this & is it curiosity?


          *(PEOPLE ‘HAVE HEARD ABOUT THIS—CURIOSITY—police keep them away: Mother God, I am stumped. What does this say?


          She: Most if not all of his friends are negative, & all or most of them are against his relationship with you. The angels want to keep him away from all negative people so they don’t drive him lower or advise him badly in his despair, saying things like,


          “Oh, you’ll get over it….The woman you think you love is all wrong for you….don’t contact her….the one you have is right, she’s your age….don’t lose what you have….don’t take a chance contacting this woman you think you love – it isn’t love, it’s insanity, etc.”)*

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          But I see the street or alley behind his building is empty – completely empty – no cars, no people, no nothing. I wanted to get closer to Elvis – not sure why. This street or alley seems to have a black pavement – has a look or texture of tar – but when I go there I don’t feel any effect of tar, just a normal road, & I am the only person there & the police don’t bother me.


          *(EMPTY STREET LIKE TAR {but I don’t feel the tar}: This explains why Elvis wants to kill himself. It’s a theme we’ve seen again & again. They alley behind your apt where Lover would call for you. It’s now empty, nothingness, {you’re never there} & paved in


          TAR: Tar is HELL. Elvis/Henry is in the HELL OF DESPAIR from NOT SEEING YOU. HE FEELS SUICIDAL this dream says – so bad that 100 angels – no doubt sent by you – are attending to him.)*


I descend from my place ‘in the sky’ to go to this street & in the next moment I’m in the room with Elvis facing him.


Suddenly he’s not a far away star, more like an intimate friend, & I’m speaking to him not to kill himself. I say,


“Your fans would be terribly hurt, including myself, & this lady over here” –


There was a female sitting in a chair behind him, with pretty curly hair, smiling, & she agreed with what I said. It’s like she’s sitting in an audience while El would be on stage, me close to him.


I saw an image of him earlier like this: He was an image like a poster, there are green vertical stripes on him, like a 50’s style jacket & his penis is portrayed like a small green funnel, about 4” long, hollow but filled with water, & on top the water makes a curve, like indentation—like this sign not standing but horizontal: (


The place El is in becomes a hospital of sorts, with the cops being the attendants or medical staff. The whole thing perplexes me. I am frustrated with the police, thinking they are supposed to be doing something else. They seem to be acting like he’s in a hospital & they must periodically give him meals, that’s about it.


          *(HOSPITAL: Place of healing. The angels are healing Henry of despair & wanting to die                          .


          MEALS: Would be NOURISHMENT or positive energy.)*


One of the meals is regular, but under & in front of the meal closer to me, are pieces of pork, half of it fat, half meat, many pieces & it’s agreed that this is too much for him—this was one of several meals.


*(TOO MUCH PORK, MEAT: There are things that Henry cannot DIGEST – Meat represents grownup food spiritually. Milk & sweets represent baby food that makes you grow when you are young, consolation. But MEAT could be hardship, the food for adults, which says here that THE PAIN HE IS NOW EXPERIENCING IS TOO MUCH FOR HENRY TO BEAR.)*


He seems to be ‘moving ahead’ with the service given him by these police/medics, like going from this room to this then that, in a sense, coming closer to me, but I’m moving with him.


*(MOVING ROOM TO ROOM CLOSER TO ME BUT WITH ME: He is becoming more intimate & open toward me by the ministration of the angels.)*


The entire time we are chatting. I asked him why he wanted to kill himself & he gave me an answer I’m having trouble recalling. Can Mother God or any saint or angel help me bring it back?


It was something like life was not worth living any more, but I don’t recall why. {The dream explains why, my absence.}


He does say,


“I should have given you a large sum of money but I didn’t, now it’s too late” {he’s going to die.}


In the dream he’s the real Elvis, wealthy as can be, while I am just a poor girl. And indeed, this implies we were close & he gave me nothing.


          *(MONEY: Can represent anything of VALUE – resources. In Shakespeare’s play Othello:


“Good name in man and woman, dear my lord, Is the immediate jewel of their souls: Who steals my purse steals trash; ’tis something, nothing; ‘Twas mine, ’tis his, and has been slave to thousands: But he that filches from me my good name Robs me of that which not enriches him And makes me poor indeed.”


          In this scene, rich Elvis/Henry had the POWER to honor me publicly, to tell the world it was me whom he loved. But he gave me NOTHING, he left me in emotional poverty.


          Now that he has LOST ME he regrets not giving me RECOGNITION—a GOOD NAME before society—honoring me would be the most valuable thing he could have given me.)*


In the last scene somehow he’s been liberated from this hospital & walking with me – he seems smaller. We go to a small variety store; it sells food, other things. He then sees in the corner a counter for a BANK & seizes the opportunity to make up for the past. He’s going to write me a check for a large sum of money. I guess he did not have his checkbook so he needs to get a blank check from them with his account number. He HURRIES because he wants to do this, in his mind, BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE.


*(GOES TO BANK TO WRITE ME A CHECK: This is his intention, in his mind, to give me the recognition he denied me – as the woman he loves. The


SMALL VARIETY STORE: Could be social media like face book that has all sorts of items on it.


WALKING WITH ME, OUT OF THE HOSPITAL: Says the angels have cured his despair & convinced him we are still together. He now intends to present me, give me the recognition he denied me, give me the relationship & show it publicly.


Nothing has happened, but this says it’s in his mind. He wants to do this before its too late, he fears he might lose me.


BANK IN THE CORNER: This area in the store reminds me of the spot on the left corner of FB where is the ‘in a relationship’ spot. This says he intends to put me there, acknowledge we’re together.)*





          I have been away a couple days & anxious about my dogs, are they OK, do they have food, are they free to run in the kennel or outside? {Sometimes in dreams my dogs, especially Gagee Boy {a Rottie}, are closed up in the cellar, & that would be bad for too long.}


          I see Gagee Boy there in a sort of ‘loft’ area in my place, looking at his plate full of dry dog food & for some strange reason, digging for sugar.


          *(GAGEE BOY: I found out in my recent dreams is me, my inner sense & digging for


          SUGAR: is looking for love, affection. In the South when Mamma wants a kiss she says to her child, ‘Gimme some sugar.’ I’m in need of physical love.)*


          I look for Fruitcake {A German Shepherd} & find him outside, quite miserable. He had been FREE, running the streets in this pleasant suburban area – I see trees all around. But someone did not like his gadding about & put him on a HEAVY CHAIN, it’s long – maybe 15’, but heavy enough to hold a large bull. He’s lying on the sidewalk crying, with the chain all crumpled around him. I go to him & unclip the chain from his neck.


          *(FRUITCAKE: I found out in the last dreams also that this is my lover Henry. Gagee Boy vs Henry is Gagee boy, the Rotty, was strong, dominant & aggressive. That represents me in this relationship.


          Fruitcake, the Shepherd, was sweet, had been hurt badly by a previous owner {who left him on the street near my house on Easter Sunday, so the first name that came to my mind for him was Fruitcake}, was timid & insecure, handsome, with a heart of gold. This is lover Henry.


          Although the Rotty dominated Fruitcake & even pushed him around, once another dog was grabbing his food & he heard Fruitcake crying terribly. Gagee came around the house running & beat this other dog – a Coon Hound, so badly, the hound had to have 70 stitches.


          These two dogs now exemplify lover Henry & myself. What I like about this it’s saying Henry has a heart of gold, in spite of his failures – & that’s what counts.


          THE HEAVY CHAIN, FRUITCAKE IS CRYING: Lover Henry got himself into a mess, naively, thinking he was taking the right road. He got himself into a relationship which is here portrayed as A HEAVY CHAIN which makes him miserable.


          This portrays me unhooking the chain. But what this means in time & space reality I have no idea, as physically, nothing has happened. It must be in his mind.)*




6-18-20-MAN COMFORTS ME I HIM (My lover John is in great misery due to our separation)


6-17-20-I STOP MAN JUMPING OUT WINDOW (Lover John feels desperate but regains hope about our togetherness)


6-16-20-I BLOCK MY GOD SELF (When I doubt God I lose touch with her & sink into my miserable flesh)


6-20-20-SAINT & ANGELS COME TO MY AID (I call to saints & angels in my need, many answer my call, including, surprisingly, lover John. He’s not an angel so this is him as a ‘saint’


          Interpreted for friends – It’s no one you know


          Man comforts me, I him: I’m in my room by the window – don’t know which residence. Looking out the window I feel kind of LOST, unwanted, and lonely. The feeling is no one wants me or cares about me, I am all alone.


          A strange thing happens. A man comes barreling up the alley behind my window on what I thought was a motorcycle. He’s amazing looking. He puts his hand on my window cill when he stops & I put my hand on his. An amazing sense of warmth passes through our hands. Not sure whose warmth goes first, but it goes both ways. We disengage & moments later we touch hands again.


          *(MAN: Lover John, the warmth we shared, the emotions, both sexual & spiritual. He comforted me, I him. We needed each other, we were & are in love. He speaks to me mystically when our bodies are apart.)


          He is beautiful & sexy in a macho way. His hair is waist length, jet black, shiny & sleek, it hangs not in dred locks but in curly strands, amazingly long. There’s something real sexy about this hair.


          *(SEXY HAIR: I am stumped. Calling on Mother God for help.

          She: It’s the way he THINKS, his personality that comes from his thoughts & feelings, his mindset. You found this extremely sexy.)*


          His arms are exposed, they are totally covered with tattoos, very attractive—his arms seem muscular. He’s wearing large sunglasses, wrap around, they cover much of his face so I can’t see too much of that.


          *(ARMS TATTOOS, MUSCULAR ATTRACTIVE: Stumped again, Mother God.


          She: Tattoos are pictures, messages. Again, it’s the messages in his ‘arms of love,’ his desire for you – one of those guys who ‘talks with his hands.’ Arms as you know are the strength to love, hands are giving of it.)*


          This revelation surprises me. Then I see the man standing strangely looking with his back to the main street, he’s across the alley looking what to him is straight, to me is left. He’s doing NOTHING, just standing with maybe his hands in pockets, just a plain standing, nothing happening. His body is covered by sort of strange clothes with some sort of head covering. Colors are brown, the shirt is tucked into his pants.


          I call to him & he comes over to me. I want to see what he looks like. My contact with this man has been emotional & now it gets moreso when I see his state.


          He has on a MASK & he moves the mask to show me his face & somehow, THERE IS NO FACE. This is hard to describe but I now realize something really serious happened to this man – an accident that left him in a gruesome state, his body is greatly injured & I say,


          “You have NO FACE!”


          *(ALLEY BEHIND MY WINDOW: I know this is John as he called for me there.


          NO FACE: But now he has ‘lost face’ which means his self esteem is TOTALLY GONE by my not being there, ignoring him, not looking for him at all. His state is GREUSOME.


THE MASK: His pretense, ‘Oh yes, I’m the great pretender, pretending that you’re still around. Lyrics to ‘The Great Pretender’:


Oh yes, I’m the great pretender
Pretending that I’m doing well
My need is such; I pretend too much
I’m lonely but no one can tell.


Oh yes, I’m the great pretender
A drift in a world of my own
I play the game; but to my real shame
You’ve let me to dream all alone.


Too real is this feeling of make believe
Too real when I feel what my heart can’t conceal.

Oh yes I’m the great pretender
Just laughing and gay like a clown

I seem to be what I’m not; you see
I’m wearing my heart like a crown
Pretending that you’re still around.


Too real is this… )*


          We are communicating for a while, then he takes off the mask again & shows me how he looked once upon a time. It’s an intermediate state – before he lost his face but after the trauma, not his best but when he still had a face.

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          His left eye is lost, it’s whited over, his skin is swarthy, his hair is thick black, wavy & rugged—there are creases on his face & his face is sort of wide & his cheeks round—he looks like he’s been through a lot. I say,


          “Oh, I see you were once handsome.”


          *(SWARTHY FACE: Someone who’s been through a lot, like a sailor who was almost shipwrecked, swarthiness could be SUNBURN which says ‘pain.’


          This might refer to a time in the past when I told him ‘no more sex until the relationship.’


          He took revenge on me by eventually having a relationship with another female that’s been dragging on for years {but in some way is now over}. He wanted it both ways when he lured me back to sex, but now I’ve cut him off he is the one with ‘no face.’)*


          He’s satisfied that I said that.


          *(ONCE HANDSOME: He was once in a better state, but he was HALF BLIND, or unaware of something.)*


          Another scene:   I’m at my apt in B’klyn & this same man is here but now not as damaged. Somehow he’s partially healed – he even smiles a lot. I know it’s him by that whited eye, but his face looks much better, his body seems normal.


          *(EYE STILL WHITED: He still doesn’t see or understand why I am not trying to contact him.)*


          My Dad is here also & I tell both of them my SISTER HAS MOVED IN. I tell them that because both my Dad & this guy are now living with me. The man now wears a WIG made of all red braids, looks just like a mop or a RAG DOLL wig. The wig somehow hides his head injuries, wounds or scars.


          *(MAN SMILING-NOW IN MY APT WITH DAD: This is John in an improved state, suffering, but hoping for union or marriage with me. It gives him comfort, but there is still something he doesn’t understand.)*


          Another scene: I am in a different location & am LECTURING on a certain point. People are all around listening to me. Then one of my associates to the right – a female I think, tells me,


          “There is a group of homeless young males wanting to come in.”

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          *(HOMELESS YOUNG MALES: I sense this is my lover John, who is the same guy on the motorcycle with ‘no face,’ but he is comforted by accessing me somehow. The other boys are basically just saying ‘guys like him’ also access me this way – it’s my speaking videos on You Tube.)*


          I say,

          “Let them in.”


          When they enter I tell them to take seats.


          They enter the room to the right, which has a green Christmas tree there, covered with real red poinsettias. They play with the poinsettias, scattering them about. They are delighted that I allowed them in, gave them shelter. They were homeless indeed.


          *(XMAS TREE WITH POINSETTIAS: This sounds like my lover John accessed my speaking videos, where I make ‘points’ – I preach, teach & explain. This alleviated his suffering, as he can access me this way. He can see me, hear me & get my stories & teachings. So he is getting a lot out of this, it’s like Christmas to him.


          HOMELESS: Is when a person is lost, has no center or place of protection & security. This seeing me in videos made him feel he was with me.)*


          The group of them looks underprivileged, small in size like runts. One boy’s face I see clearly, his nose is peculiar, reminds me of an animal I have seen, he looks comical. Sort of a pyramid shape, hard to explain.

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          *(PYRAMID NOSE: It’s John getting ‘to me’ through my videos. Why is he looking like this – a runt – & comical face with pyramid nose?


          She: He’s your son, your child, he realizes that now so he is ‘humbled’ & appears like a ‘runt.’ The pyramid nose – the nose is a SENSE, smelling, tasting, sensing is like ESP, his inner sense brings him to you – recognizes some reality he might not have seen before, the meaning of your relationship. Prior to this he was on a ‘high horse,’ a ‘pedestal’ with you. Now no chasing, he sees he’s your little child. You have asserted your dominance over him. The


          PYRAMID: is a sign of perfection, so he is seeing THE TRUTH.)*


          What was so unusual is at this moment of my loneliness & isolation he drove up here & comforted me with his warmth—there is great sexual meaning here but it’s nothing gross or crude, it’s spiritual as well – like an angel appearing from Heaven to comfort me.


          *(COMFORT, SEXUAL & SPIRITUAL MEANING: We had sex, but our exchange contained love & spiritual depth.)*


          I look at the traction his motorcycle left on the ground in this alley – deep furrows – it’s been raining, the ground is black, the furrows are deep, as if a motorcycle had been here several times.


          *(BLACK FURROWS: He was here several times looking for me.


          IT RAINED: tears or sorrow, that I wasn’t there.)*


          But then his motorcycle is empty & it isn’t what I thought it was at all – it’s a walker with wheels, the kind Rudy (a disabled friend) has – it’s a vehicle for a DISABLED person with a black vinyl seat. This isn’t sexy at all.


         *(OVERALL MEANING: This explains how devastated John has been by my absence, but something has given him a lift, not sure what. His hopes are up & he feels things will improve.


DISABLED VEHICLE: He was disabled or unable to achieve his goal – couldn’t get to where he wanted.)*


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          I’m in my apt in B’klyn when I see a man, dressed in a classical grey suit with white shirt, maybe a tie, looks professional – this man is at my bedroom window & halfway out to jump 6 floors down, commit suicide.


          He’s already halfway out when I grab him & pull him back, then I have him lying in my arms & look at his face. His right eye is looking down to the left corner, like down to the middle of his body, while his left eye is somewhere else.


         *(SUICIDAL MAN: This is John the lover, who is


          GREY SUIT: mentally {grey is usually brain matter/mind} out of his mind & is halfway to killing himself because


          EYES 2 WAYS: he can’t see straight, which means understand something. Could be because


          MY BEDROOM: I am no longer making myself available to him for intimacy/sex – this is driving him crazy, he can’t understand it & is desperate for my love. He once had a


          WINDOW: of opportunity at my bedroom/window. He can’t understand what’s happened. I’m having multiple dreams about his confusion & misery.


          PROFESSIONAL ATTIRE, WHITE SHIRT, MAYBE TIE: The white shirt hints at marriage, the tie, something formal. He considered us a married couple although he didn’t publicly announce me.


          MY SAVING HIM: He hasn’t lost hope, however, something I do or have done brings him back to hope.)*

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          (Great lesson in this. God does not enter us or find union with us AGAINST OUR WILL. The famous pic of Jesus knocking at the door shows no HANDLE on the outside, the person must open the door for him to enter.)


          I’m with my daughter in the old farmhouse, in my bedroom.


          She’s AVOIDING me. I look for her – she has gone beyond our bro’s room, which joins ours, & is in the hall talking with a man, whispering. She has the room door closed with a thick fleece sheet, might be pink & blue, & she has made a room of the space of the hall—not a good area but she wants to escape me.


          *(SHEET OVER DOOR: There is what they call a VEIL between God & ourselves, my flesh for a while went to her own side – lost the intimate contact with me.)*


          Then it gets even worse, she’s in Mario’s room & I hear her talking with what sounds like a black man with a deep voice—they are speaking low so I can’t hear them.


          *(MARIO’S ROOM: This is the key to WHY she lost contact with me – her God self – the worry or fear of losing HENRY, her lover. Mario’s room always represents separation from the man who is loved.)*


          Then I see my daughter standing by a wall, perhaps looking out the window, in a robe. She young, like a pre-teen.


          I go to her & try to befriend her, get close, but she repels me. I am a great energy, I try to get close but her force field repels me, (I feel it strongly as I try to move close) I cannot get within two feet of her. I cry out,


          “I AM GOD!”


          But she mutters that this (me) is Satan.


          *(GOD VS SATAN: In my human self, at this time the dream says my doubts & fears over the lover ousted the Great God within me – I left God as I entered into this negative thoughts, lost faith in HER temporarily.)*


          I am wearing a diaphanous mint-colored robe, it seems to be made of sort of clouds, & I’m holding it open as I try to come close to her but can’t.







          I was greatly troubled during the night, nightmarish fears of the multiple obligations before me. I called out again & again to the saints & angels to help me.


          I then went into a deep sleep & people & my past animals began to appear to me, all in a friendly manner.


          A female across the street came to visit, & she brought with her many boys, all of whom circled some sort of lawn-island in front of my house – all the boys were wearing black, some had on hats Indiana Jones style with some kind of small reeds on them (like straws) – all were around 12-13, really boys, not young men. It seems they belonged to her somehow, like they were Boy Scouts & she was their leader, & they are here for my benefit – not sure what they’re doing but they are here to comfort me, & feel better.


          *(NEIGHBOR LADY: Symbol of Mother God – could be Holy Virgin, seems like her. She brings to me

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          BOY SCOUTS: dead men who are my sons or clients, who I helped out of Purgatory, now come to my assistance. The


          STRAW or REEDS, {one in each hat}: represents ‘dead’ because you get straw only after the wheat dies, & their

          BLACK CLOTHING: says ‘funeral’ or they are the dead & their activity,


          DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY’RE DOING, JUST STANDING THERE: Is when people visit you just to show they are your friends, there is no ulterior motive, like they are not your employees, not looking for anything other than to support you.


          Then another female comes, then another. I’m confused as I don’t know who they are or why they’re visiting. I say,


          “Is this visit your neighbor day?”


          *(NEIGHBOR LADIES: These are the ‘angels & saints’ I called for just simply visiting me, no motive except to show their love.)*


          Then someone suggests we go inside. I am reluctant as everything is not perfect, like all in order. But as I look around the rooms are large, nicely furnished, I see an oriental rug in one room, mostly blue, the rooms are dark & kind of cool – inviting. The floors might be black lacquered wood.


          On a couch there are two men visiting me – don’t even know who they are. Then yet a third man appears sitting on the couch – all these people just appear – & he’s strikingly handsome with honey blonde hair – He puts his hand for me to shake, I do so in a warm manner. He has a strong look of love on his face. He’s wearing an attractive suit, a true green color & embossed on it are the same color checkers – like ‘tic tac toe’ checkers – I’ve never seen a material or suit like this. I am to the back of the couch; he’s sitting in it as he greets me.

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          *(MAN IN GREEN SUIT: This is either a saint from Heaven, who was martyred or someone on earth who has or is experiencing martyrdom. It might be my Beloved Husband who I have not been with for almost a year, he seeks to visit & comfort me. The


          TRUE GREEN SUIT: Might be saying ‘he’s one of the living.’ The WARMTH of our hands touching, reminds me of the dream of the biker who gave me his hand to comfort me, then he showed me he had NO FACE.

His hair & also look of love – when I saw him I felt an emotion I didn’t feel from the other men which again says ‘this is your Beloved.’


TWO MEN: This dream is filled with people I say I don’t know. Maybe I don’t, maybe I know some of them. These might be saints or angels.)*


          Then I want to introduce my dogs to them. I go to a further room & there on the floor lies GaGee Boy – except he doesn’t look like GaGee Boy – he is much smaller, like a chubby tiger cat, maybe 40 lbs, real cute, I pet him lovingly, his fur is so thick & pleasant to touch.


          *(WHO IS GAGEE BOY:         MomGod, stumped.

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          She: Gagee Boy is you in your dealing with John. You were the ‘big dog’ that scared him & some of his friends. You’re no longer scaring them as you’re not around, your ‘ferocity’, shown here as a ‘tiger’ has diminished, you are ‘dormant’ in the relationship or ‘lying down’ being petted like a tame cat.)*


          Then I look for Fruitcake, who I loved so much & who was so loving & suffered so much. Someone put him into a ‘dog house’ made of material like a stove or fridge, I bend down, the door to him is closed. (Door closed, he was confined.)


          This house is equipped with birdseed, packets of it like with millet, & there’s this European white cheese, a cheese with a skin—I dislike it, & I have said ‘no one wants millet, not even the birds, that’s why it’s cheap.’ I see many servings of this cheese on plates, but they are packaged to give him periodically – like this house is some sort of prison where all is provided but freedom & the outdoors – food, fresh air piped in. But to my alarm way back in this house are canisters with ice, I fear does this make his house way too cold? But then I see he has some sort of system in the back of this house which blows in fresh air {this is a hint where John lives the place has a back yard, another clue it’s John}. I don’t like his confinement, I have opened the door to this house & I encourage him to come out, & I see him halfway out. {—I’m beginning to get him out of it—must be my God Self as I’m doing nothing.}


          *(FRUITCAKE – SOMEONE PUT HIM IN THIS DOG HOUSE: This was hard to decipher but I think I got it. When you ‘put someone in the dog house’ it’s usually your husband who’s out of favor.


          Fruitcake again represents lover ‘John.’ He’s in a ‘dog house’ an appliance like a refrigerator where I look DEEP INSIDE & see canisters of ICE & have great fear it’s TOO COLD in there. This is our relationship ‘on ice’ or on hold—it is not active or warm.


          The food – is the emotional nutrition he’s getting. It’s terrible. This love/sex does not satisfy his HEART.


          The CHEESE is the sex as ‘cheesecake’ represents sexiness in a woman. This sex is the birdseed/millet nasty cheese food. After all, having sex with someone you don’t love is totally different than doing it with the one you love.


          His BODY is getting all that he needs – a house, food/sex, air, etc. but he is imprisoned, confined.

          In other words, you’re in a relationship where you have a roof over your head, the air you breath, food & sex, but you are not free to be HAPPY WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE.

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          Fruitcake is John & I am HALFWAY RELEASING HIM. I have no idea how I’m doing this unless he’s getting psychic messages.


MomGod, what do these two disclosures have to do with a dream where I’m calling for help?


She: This is explaining that your underlying pain is not the problems you face in life right now, but your separation from John. This is making you feel lonely, insecure & isolated – the same way he feels as the ‘man with no face’ & the ‘homeless boy.’


When people are separated from the person they love most in the world, they feel all alone, abandoned & even afraid.


Everyone in this dream is those who love you – either on earth or not. He’s one of the people on earth.)*  


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College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized


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          Interpreted for a friend

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          There was a person who died & left all their belongings to someone & the things were all sitting around waiting to be claimed. I don’t see anyone claiming anything, & no one knew what was here.


          I go look at things & one thing catches my eye: A white COAT. It looks like white material in a pile, like the softest of Cashmere, softer than soft.


          I go to that pile of material on the edge of the belongings & put it around me & it’s a COAT-CAPE, so voluminous & luxurious it would go around two people. It also has some kind of thick, wide soft collar made of a material that is unfamiliar – the closest thing would be the softest ostrich or feathers. It is PRECIOUS – I want it, & so I take it, although somehow the estate was not left to me, but I have to STEAL this coat. I am not a thief, but now I MUST HAVE THIS.

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          I take it & fold it inside out, where the white satiny lining has some decoration with soft like watercolor streaks in blue & green. As I carry the coat like this, no one will recognize it as that white coat, stop me or try to interfere with my having it.



          MEANING: This hearkens to only one thing, the symbol of the spiritual wedding between Lover Bob & myself. When we were united in the Sacrament of Love, God showed me one piece of white cloth, which I knew had been two pieces but was now only one with NO SEAM. It had a soft, small victory wreath of white laurel on it, to show we had been victorious; we were united in Matrimony against all odds.


          This seems to be saying that the female of Bob has left the relationship – which can be called ‘dying.’ I am not interested in anything of hers or theirs together, only one thing is mine, although it seems like I’m stealing it – my RELATIONSHIP WITH BOB.

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          In this dream I am claiming our relationship. And I might add – no one else is claiming nor can they claim this, as no one else has been joined by God to him but me.


          Holding the coat inside out where the blue/green streaks will disguise it, no one will interfere is what, Mother God?


          This union is Sacred & Secret, & you want no one to interfere. So it is hidden in the interior, the way God is. And so, this relationship is SAFE. People only see bodies, things, they do not see God or mystical relationships.


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College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized



Four dreams. One shows the results of a huge forgiveness yesterday. The other shows my lover has greatly evolved spiritually, he’s leaving his present female & loves me truly. Fourth dream again underscores his evolution.




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          I’m in a place where there are two small boys – like 5-6 years old. They seem to be somehow ‘bundled up’ in clothing & their bodies seem ‘round’ like cocoons, the cloth they are in is soft & medium-dark, many layers.


          The family of the boys is all around, we are on a platform of sorts. I put out my hand to them to shake – somehow my hand is huge, like a cradle. But they cannot shake my hand, & I then realize it’s not a Muslim custom—they are Muslims & restricted in many actions compared to us.

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          *(MUSLIMS: Not sure if this is literally referring to Muslim devotees I have had or these are devotees of different religions than Christian that I am being reconciled with.


          HAND OUT LIKE CRADLE: My hand is offered to them is my LOVE – the love OF A MOTHER offers someone a CRADLE OF COMFORT.


          BUNDLED LIKE COCOONS: These are people who have not yet possibly been BORN AGAIN, they have not turned into butterflies, are still the chrysalis, the bug in the cocoon before they are released. The many

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          LAYERS surrounding them, like swaddling clothes, are the layers of the world & flesh, consisting of thoughts, feelings & connections to it. This must be broken through to get BORN AGAIN.)*


          One of the boys says to me,


          “I just want to hug you & kiss you.”


          Somehow they are not allowed to hug & kiss me, but I hug them anyway. One of them places his hand on my left breast. I know it’s the gesture of an innocent child, but I must take his hand off because someone might accuse me of a wrong.

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          *(HUG THEM, ONE PUTS HAND ON BREAST: As a result of my prayers, these ‘backslidden’ disciples have reached out to me– after I reached out to them in love {without realizing it} & indeed, they are innocent children of God. They want & need a real Mother’s love.)*


          Then something happens. I do a demonstration. I ascend into the air so high – like 100, 200, 500’. At that level I come upon a Heavenly or God-made frame for a building, the frame is made of very thick planks. This might be like a ‘resting place’ for me high up here.


          Amazingly, several women ascend into the air with me – they are spiritually advanced. Some of them go up halfway but can’t go higher & descend.

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          One woman is interesting – I think I knew her in life, she’s gleeful to ascend with me high up. She’s thin, her face & body has creases, not wrinkles, like striated, I think she wears red, a revealing summer dress. She is beaming with joy that she could ascend with me, but then she sinks back down after about 300’—but I was impressed that these women rose into the Heavenly realms with me. It’s the first time in my life I’ve had such an incident – never had anyone rise with me before.


          I wanted to impress or do this demonstration for the Muslim family, but unfortunately, when I come back down – they are all gone. They might not have seen me ascend at all. I wanted to show them my spiritual power.


         *(THEY ARE GONE: My ‘Muslim’ disciples are now gone, they no longer see or receive my spiritual power—even though we are forgiven both ways for our breakups. Forgiveness & love does not always unite us with those we have parted from.)*


          MEANING: This is a result of the prayers I did last night. One of my friends hurt me & made me angry. I was saying the law of karma will get her back.


          Then I decided to forgive her. I didn’t feel like it but I said a righteous prayer that should be remembered:


          “It is my will that the person who hurt me will be forgiven, as if she never hurt me at all. I want no punishment or bad karma to come against her because of me. Count her ‘not guilty.’

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          I then proceeded as I do periodically to forgive anyone/everyone who ever hurt me & added to that I accept from anyone I ever hurt their forgiveness.”


          I repeated this prayer many times before I fell asleep, & this is the result. There was reconciliation with people – sharing of love, the blocks of un-forgiveness being removed.


          The Muslims—my hand extended to them like a cradle is the CRADLE OF LOVE & these two guys FEEL LOVE FOR ME LIKE SONS FOR THEIR MOM—they might be former disciples.


         The females, the main one could have been the one I forgave. She rose up with me partway – she has suffered greatly in the last ten years & it’s brought her much closer to God. If this is her, my prayer made her extremely happy.


          What was the huge-beamed foundation high up in the sky? Perhaps my home that God has started to build. Since only these planks were up this might be a sign saying I do have some time left to live. I’m not always certain as I’ve had heart trouble & been sick lately – always think death could be around the corner when I’m sick – so God might be reassuring me.

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Jayne Mansfield, Pam Grier & myself (in our prime) are to me the ideal bodies.  Anna Nicole Smith was next after that, the implants spoil some of it as the first three are ‘natural’ – but of course Anna’s face was really pretty.  I would default Anna on legs, they were not as perfect as Jayne’s & mine. We had/have ‘Betty Grable legs,’ they must be STRAIGHT.  Both Jane & I had/have thin, firm, small thighs & straight legs with beautiful feet.  Yes I have seen images of her feet, mine are beautiful also. Below, look at Betty Grable’s legs:

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Betty Grable's Legs


Upon further study ANITA EKBERG stands out, with everything gorgeous including legs, straight legs.  Betty Grable was most famous for her legs, the rest of her body is not outstanding, but thin & lovely.  Her legs more or less ‘cut the standard,’ in that they are thin but SHAPELY, not toothpicks.  Of course there have been & are numerous all over the world – Hollywood, everywhere – women with terrific bodies, good legs, but I’m speaking of the ones I’m most familiar with {famous women I can get pictures of} & I include the legs as an important measure of perfection–there are many women with great bodies like Anna Nicole Smith, but their legs are not as perfect  as the ‘Betty Grable’ model.  Below, see Anita Ekberg:




With implants today many women have great breasts, so that’s an advantage.  In the old days they didn’t have much except nasal surgery & I suspect stars like Marlene Dietrich {also known for her legs} & Mae West had beautiful noses by surgery.  Zsa Zsa & Eva Gabor had their noses fixed {& their sis who isn’t famous, & their Mom.  I met the surgeon who did the Mom.} 

Below the legs of Marlene Dietrich.  Look at her small, tight thighs, the straightness but curviness of the legs.  Toothpicks are not sexy:

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          I was sitting some place with my bare legs up on something, doing something with them—don’t know what, when this super handsome, sexy muscular boy Perry comes up to me out of nowhere, from the right side, & he is madly attracted to me.


          *(PERRY: This glamorous boy has always rejected me – have known him for years. For him to suddenly change his mind & desire me like this is simply an indication of the lover coming to his senses.)*


          This takes me by surprise as he’s never liked me before & rejects me when I try to get friendly.

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          He embraces & kisses me numerous times, it gets more & more intimate. He has some sort of black hair growing on is it his legs? That is so thick, it’s like curly fur, long, curls on the end, sleek & shiny, & I have the exact same hair on my legs he takes note. He says something about it & I say,


          *(THICK BLACK CURLY HAIR ON LEGS: This is a great & sure sign of spiritual growth {the hair} with mystical ability to travel or get some through energy or metaphysical. LEGS mean the strength of that, hair would mean the extra growth there or evolution. This is extreme growth – part of it is 6” long & as thick & glossy as fur, jet black.


          This hair shows an amazing increase in lover’s spiritual growth—he’s become like me, that is why in the other dream he appears as my son & devoted disciple. He has merged into me, I into him the way the new disciple, Shiva, says he wants to merge with me. {This happens with gurus & their disciples.})*

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          “But I don’t have that type hair on my vagina any more – half of it has turned grey.”


          *(NO MORE ON VAGINA: No more sex or I’ve been celibate.)*


          We go back to kissing & there are some special kind of kisses I give him on his face, like licking his face a certain way, which finally the public notices, & when they do, they interfere. People don’t want him to be with me, like it’s outrageous or a scandal.


          *(SCANDAL: Not sure if this is the past, how they bothered him, or the present if he’s telling anyone about me. It’s in their minds for sure.)*


          Can’t recall what happens except we did not like their attitude


T_Isis_Celestial_Card T_Bastet_ShadowClaw_Card T_Awilix_Gold_Card T_Awilix_ESports_Card 

5-29-20-NEW DISCIPLE-SON STRUGGLES TO LEAVE A FEMALE (This represents the diehard lover, the new disciple is but a symbol)


          I first thought this was about my new disciple who appears often as a nice guy with black glasses {he’s newly devoted to me as a spiritual son, you might say ‘obsessed’ in a good way} – & I was unable to type it out, but am recording it now as it’s about my lover.


          *(SPIRITUAL SON: This is your lover in the persona of this new disciple, who is devoted, to show that the lover now realizes he is your spiritual son, you his mother, & something will happen today to indicate he wants to come to you soon—you are not aware of this event at the time of dreaming, it’s psychic.)*

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          I see this man with the black rimmed glasses & he’s living in my bedroom at the old farm house. I see a silver vase with plants in the window, sort of tucked into the curtains; I see & feel the familiarity of that home.


          The vase might mean something. It’s in the shape of a V, thin, I had not attended to it for a long time & felt what was in it might be dead for lack of water. It’s kind of attached to the ‘curtain,’ not standing by itself, in the front window. Inside are like soft thick-leafed plants, don’t know what kind.


          *(THE VASE: You bet it’s significant. The V shape first of all is


          V: for ‘VICTORY.’ Second, it’s position

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          IN THE WINDOW: This is a ‘window of opportunity’ which means an improvement, a chance or change for something better, it ends a previous relationship, here shown as ‘Gina’ & him, & will begin yours.


          A CURTAIN, ATTACHED TO: In between two curtains, attached, this opportunity or chance is attached or connected– curtains, it signifies the end of this other relationship, as when a play, an act, a show is over, it’s ‘curtains.’ When someone leaves you it’s ‘curtains.


          GINA: Was a model who was demon-possessed & also mentally ill. I did exorcisms & removed her demons, but could not help with the mental illness. I think she went crazy from having abortions every year.


          This model represents his relationship which this dream says he’s leaving. Why, could be anyone’s guess. Is she like Gina? Was she, is she crazy, possessed? Is she pregnant & wants an abortion?


          The vase being SILVER is a sign of the permanent relationship of myself & lover.


          The fact that it’s still filled with WATER, the PLANTS are alive, means the permanent relationship is still going to be, the water is life or grace, the plants are also the life of the two people in the affair – him & me.)*        


There’s a bed here covered with a black satin sheet with dust & tiny debri on it. ‘Gina’ – who lives here with that male – he’s leaving – tries to make him stay, but this guy I watch him getting into his car below the window – it’s black, & he says to her,

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*(GUY LEAVING: is your lover leaving the other lady.

He removed some of her details off social media today.


BLACK CAR: Funeral car, end of the relationship.


BED WITH BLACK SHEET: End of their sex life, either already ended or is ending now.)*


          “I have to go to work.”


          *(HAVE TO GO TO WORK: My inner sense was this was an excuse, he wanted to leave & used work as his reason. But he might not come back.)*






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          This dream I sense foretells the amazing improvement of my lover in his evolution, growth & attitude.


          I see a large insect like which I saved recently, like a dragonfly—the one I saved was tiny—this one is huge, maybe 6” or bigger, just like the tiny one.


          Next in my hands is a BIRD, as if the insect turned into a bird.


          Next I see this same creature turn into one of my most intimate dogs, a black terrier I named Baby – & she is standing on a shelf where I have the ‘family photo albums.’


          MEANING: This is the transition of my LOVER who when I first met him & dated him, he was a huge BUG or a person of LOW EVOLUTION. People like that of course ‘bug you’ a lot – they are troublesome, & he was.

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          Years have gone by. Next my lover turns into A BIRD. That means he’s FREE or BORN AGAIN. He can fly, he is free of the confines of limited time & space.


          Next he becomes my most intimate dog – Baby – who I found as a stray – she would sit in my lap in the car for hours while we drove back & forth to the city – 4 hours at a time.


          This says that my lover, in his heart & mind, is now my BABY or child, & has surrendered to me in love. There is no PHYSICAL indication of this – this just says what he is INSIDE.


          If these dreams reflect the truth he’s had a remarkable evolution. And this isn’t just about me – my flesh. It’s how he relates to the God within me – as I was sent to save him—the way Jesus was sent to save many of us. How we relate to our Guru is how we relate to God.

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College of God & Love, College of Love Making, College of Matriarchal Love, Uncategorized



Lover leaves  but comes back,  relationship is attacked by numerous

people— beat them back & escape, fly off with him away from them all, on a

golden road of love—this is predicted.


Interpreted for a friend


          This is so sad in the beginning. My aunt & uncle have a get-together way in the hills in the country – it’s beautiful, rolling soft bushes & trees, lots of recreation, many people are here.


          *(AUNT & UNCLE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN PUNISHERS IN YOUR SYMBOLS {the thought is ‘cry Uncle’ when you can’t take it any more}, but this time you will see a change. The beauty, recreation, is a sign of your peace & happiness.)*


          I am having a great time, not thinking of anything negative, when after a while notice the guy I love is off to the side with another female—I know he’ll be making love to her. I see a lot of young people off to the side in the blackness where you can’t see them & they are doing sex. I don’t see my lover clearly with the female, just vaguely, in my imagination.

 DCPcO3dXcAAFzfu dazm80k-00c2504e-ad90-4261-bafa-1c996ac97612 0196_Teniers 002 dance_of_dreams_grande

          *(LOVER WITH ANOTHER: This being remembered is causing a mar to happiness. ‘In the blackness’ means you can’t see the people but know what they’re doing.)*


          After that I mope around, so sad. My uncle is near me. I see his face clearly, he has olive skin & 5 o’clock shadow on his face,—he’s young & handsome {no more than 40} & seems sympathetic to me.


          *(UNCLE SYMPATHETIC: Things have changed drastically. You’re not going to be punished or suffer any more, this change is saying.


The face of the uncle reminds me of an actor on TV who plays do-gooder roles.)*

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          He has me sit at a table that has soft, small dinner rolls on it. I take one, with my face sort of down in sadness; he gives me a different roll, one more square. I think what do I do now, put butter on it? But I don’t put any butter, I’ve become passive. There’s a guy sitting to my right – I don’t know who he is.


          *(SOFT DINNER ROLLS: What is on the table or brought there, represents in a relationship.


          BUTTER ON BREAD: Major clue –Butter on bread is MONEY, & possibly more than ‘just bread’ or basics, butter on bread could mean an abundance or extras. Uncle provides you with


BREAD ON THE TABLE –Represents MONEY – what one brings to the table in a relationship—You prayed about this yesterday, asking God what do we each bring to the table? The


BUTTER: represents ‘which side my bread is buttered on’ which means, which part of these people supports me, pays my bills or provides money? Uncle hands me a


SQUARE: dinner roll instead of the round one I took which could mean ‘a SQUARE MEAL’ & so this represents a ‘square meal’ or ‘enough to eat,’ a decent amount of money, not just survival, the rolls are money that is brought to the table, being

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SOFT: soft is easy, tender, not hard which would be hard to obtain or earn – You can easily provide support for Wayfarer & the butter is the ABUNDANT MONEY you provide. You are


PASSIVE: as you’re not doing anything, not chasing Lover any more, but there’s a man sitting to your right who you wonder about – you never look at him & this might be


MAN TO MY RIGHT: Lover is sitting to my right, it’s planned, prepared, like the places at a table, when they have placards by each spot a person sits at an event, a wedding & such – Uncle is pointing this out to me. The fact that this is a planned dinner might be pointing to WEDDING DINNER. In fact this entire weekend bash might be pointing to the celebration of our wedding. This dream, through the symbol of my Uncle, who usually punishes me, predicts the marriage.


This dream explains, through my uncle, a theme that has been raised many times before – that Lover coming to you will have to do with what you bring to the table – & he will know which side his bread is buttered on. He’s always been in ‘survival mode,’ living with people who paid the bills – not always full but part time, like several days a week. The most recent female gave him the ‘golden parachute’ & allowed him to live with her full time without taking any of his money & even for a long time, gave him drugs.

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Her ability to support him has diminished due to our Pandemic—in fact, she might be totally bankrupt for an extended time. The deal they had will no longer work.


Where will he go next? Who can provide? It will be you, the dreams have said for years. He will hit ‘rock bottom’ – will have nowhere else to go & will humble himself to you, the only one who will take him in & support him. That’s why this dream says ‘bread on the table’—man is to my right, & ‘butter on the bread.’)*


          I tell my uncle about seeing Lover with another girl. I say to him,


          “Could you invite him for tomorrow? Then I’ll see him again.”

          {This was a weekend bash.}


          I am profoundly sad through this dream.

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          NEXT SCENE everything changes. I am at a movie theater, the audience lit up, lover & I are sitting close to each other in the aisle—on the left—there’s seats here for us. No one is close to us.


          *(MOVIE THEATER: Theater of life. You are living it.


          AISLE: Big hint—going up the aisle means getting married. You are here together as a couple in love.)*


          He has me in the MOST WONDERFUL EMBRACE, his arm around me, kissing me, again & again & again. No one bothers us FOR A WHILE & then – the shit begins.


          First, his own brother comes up to him. He looks like he has about 25% black blood, he has a black mustache & short beard. He does not speak to me, but he addresses Lover, whom I shall call ‘Wayfarer’—telling him to leave off what he’s doing with me, & go with him.

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          *(BROTHER WHO TRIES TO GET LOVER AWAY FROM ME: This represents any creepy ‘friend’ or multiple friends who wanted him to be with them, not you. Some of these ‘brothers’ are in & out of jail for drugs, stealing & violence, some are homos or bisexuals. They want him to stay in their group.)*


          This INFURIATES me. I get up & punch the guy & I guess he goes off.


          *(I PUNCH THE GUY: You did interfere with one homo who quit bothering him for a while.)*


          Next, someone else interfered but I can’t recall who. I fought like three type sets of people.


          The third instance, Wayfarer & I have moved to the back of the theater, against the wall. Now a middle-aged couple interferes, a woman with super thick {twice as thick as regular hair} to the shoulders white hair is in his lap & her husband is nearby – they are also interfering.

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          I go up to her, grab her by the hair & pull her off his lap, & thinking,


          “That’s what they wanted – that I attack someone not of the family – so they can call the cops & have me arrested. They have conspired to interfere with my relationship with Wayfarer, wanting to at the same time get me into trouble for fighting back.”


          When I grabbed this woman it was violent, extreme physical force.


          *(WHITE HAIRED WOMAN: This is a rival you tangled with forcefully. Her hair is WHITE FROM WORRY about what was going on.

It was multiple onslaughts of people you had to fend off – homos –druggie friends & sex-crazed females.)*


          Then I know I must ESCAPE WITH HIM far away from all these people, where none of them can reach us or do us harm.


         *(ESCAPE WITH HIM IN MY ARMS: This is a prediction, it’s not happened yet. On the spiritual plane, yes, but not yet physical.)*


          I grab him into my arms, hold him, & light up into the air, & fly off, trying to go as far as possible. If we are far enough away from these people, we can be at peace to share our relationship. It’s a slight strain for me to fly high into the air, but I manage, & then I see the road ahead. It’s a beautiful wide avenue in the country – with trees on both sides – I see trees of the country side & hills on both sides, with houses here & there – the road looks like some kind of beige/gold clay. It is promising.


          *(ESCAPE, FLY IN AIR, COUNTRY, GOLD AVENUE: This says that you will get him away from all the negative people, male & female – take him to a higher level {FLY} & enter on the ROAD OF LOVE forever more.


          The physical surroundings resemble where you live, near Sacred

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Mountains—this says it will be Valhalla where you can finally share a private world with no interference or rivals.


It’s interesting that a person that has always been a punisher in my dreams now appears as a consoler, giving me a vision & prediction of future love & happiness.)*


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College of God & Love, College of Love Making, College of Matriarchal Love, Uncategorized







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          Was busy doing something with a guy – some kind of work, nothing romantic & we got done.


          *(WORK WITH GUY: You don’t have any boyfriends but you hire men for work, this is a new worker.)*


          Then see my ‘goodhubby’ Robert driving me into my newly refurbished driveway – just big enough for one car, & he has a quiet, curious look on his face like ‘what’s going on’ or ‘went on.’


          *(ROBERT: When Robert appears means your lover’s attitude is positive & tender toward you – Robert was a previous ‘goodhubby.’)*

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          The spot used to be ‘open’ but now not only are there tall bushes on both sides of the spot as well as in front, but a sort of ‘makeshift,’ not solid fence, of small ‘weathered’ trees, criss crosses, a decoration mainly as any animal can get through it like a dog, cat, raccoon – anything but a cow or horse, but they could knock it over, doesn’t look strong. The small trees this was made of are about 4” diameter, & the bark is weathered, not smooth, like rough & has maybe lichen or something textured on it. It has the fence rail over the top, & the as I said, large criss crosses under.


          *(MY DRIVEWAY: Represents, basically your vagina or sexuality. Now it is ‘closed in’ – the bushes surrounding where a man would drive you & your car into the driveway now ‘enclosed’ or no longer


OPEN: this could be taken two ways, no longer open to Robert’s scrutiny – or no longer open to him for sex. The

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FENCE: Is a symbol of the CROSS, especially when there are ‘criss crosses’ here – A cross can mean pain & suffering, a cross can also mean


NO: as in ‘crossed out.’ Since the fence is made of


YOUNG TREES, 4” IN DIAMETER: Could represent YOUNG MEN you’re no longer having sex with – including the lover/boy/hubby. The


WEATHERED, TEXTURED BARK: might be another symbol saying ‘not freshly cut down – been sitting in piles for a while, bark getting weather-beaten, collecting lichen, texture’ – translating to ‘not going out with any young men – they were there a while back but now left alone. This is an accurate symbol for you to understand, whether he understands it is not disclosed here.


BIG ENOUGH FOR JUST ONE CAR: This is hinting at the one man or multiple men situation. There are thoughts in his mind about am I the man, or is there another one? Symbols go both ways. Big enough for just one car translated is ‘big enough for just one penis.’)*


          Robert sees under the car – I’m looking under also – that the previous man who drove it took off his white stretchy undershorts {with a striped waistband, like maybe green/grey, 2 stripes} & pulled it over something underneath the driver side. We had nothing to do with sex but he might suspect we did.


          There’s also a simple small chair to the front left, & the worker put his hat, which is like a mask {you know those cold-weather hats that cover part of your face}, which is tan & black bands or frames around openings, at first, this sort of made me uncomfortable, but then I realized it was a virus cover, & there is another such knitted hat, of multi colors on this little chair. So the PRESENCE of this man is seen & it makes Robert uncomfortable & me the same way because I don’t want him to get the wrong idea.


          *(DRIVER MAN LEFT HIS SHORTS: Goodhubby suspects THERE IS ANOTHER MAN in your life, who is seen as ‘DRIVING’ ME—driving being a euphemism {symbol} for fukking you.


          SHORTS STRETCHED OVER BOTTOM OF CAR UNDER DRIVER SIDE: He thinks you’re with a man with his pants down.


          STRIPES ON WAISTBAND, GREEN & GREY: Green could represent money or ‘life.’ Grey is thinking.


          KNITTED VIRUS HAT/MASKS TWO OF THEM ON LITTLE CHAIR ALSO BY DRIVER SIDE: Then maybe you have multiple men? The beige with black borders could be Robert & you–you were secret lovers, so the hat/mask is HIDING SOMETHING – no one saw you together.


          And so, if youwere HIDDEN LOVERS, behind closed doors you could be having MULTIPLE LOVERS (multi-colored mask) in secret. The hat/masks are what is secret & hidden.)*         


          Then we’re upstairs on the 2nd floor. Ozy, a Guru is here with his back to the door of this room, I am here & there was a lady – not sure if this is still her to my left back or if that is a different person, & his 11 or 12 yr old son is here, looking next to the tall bureau where in my bedroom there is a huge window—he looks perplexed.


          *(GURU OZY: It took me a while to figure out who this is – it’s his God-Self– the Power which is the God or parent of his flesh – his flesh is his son, the boy standing here facing your bedroom window.


          FACING AREA WHERE MY BIG WINDOW IS: He used to summon you by way of this window, call out, whistle & shine a light to let you know he was there. This dream says he is perplexed why you’re never there.)*


          At first this lady & I found a bargain for underpants & we were both purchasing them gleefully, as the lady who owned this clothing biz was only charging $10 for ten pairs pants. I was showing them to Ozy, what a bargain, & he looks at this white card on top of this tall bureau where a stack of these are & says

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          “The price has even gone down, they are now 15 pairs for $10.”


          They are beautiful underwears, that’s why I’m surprised they’re so cheap – they have lots of shiny material in red with black lace in front, not snug, loosely designed, almost like very loose pleats in front. I told Ozy I prefer to wear the big ones, as I don’t like my underpants tight. {I also had some smaller ones I wear, I show him the size 10’s.} I’m thinking to get more.


          *(RED PANTIES WITH BLACK LACE: Represent celibacy & not having sex for a long time. To call these


          CHEAP: Means there is no suffering for you, no sense of deprivation. The desire has been mastered. Ozy, his God self notices there’s been even a bigger jump in you being able to endure this lack of sex. In spiritual terms, when something they say ‘costs a lot’ means in terms of suffering, so cheap is easy.)*

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          Ozy is proud of his son & wants to know from my lady friend to the left – by her ESP – about his genius abilities.


          Her psychic senses comes & goes, right now she feels oppressed by too many overwhelming things going on & she says to him,


          *(PSYCHIC FEMALE: Is a part of you, right now seem to be overwhelmed with so many things on your mind.)


          “He has a neurological condition.”

 479713_801037410000851_2667627179029362100_n 548745_490609460957205_1164219922_n 577328_410264675682292_1058671390_n 1173706_645842345433915_335036636_n 1212111

          Ozy asked about the wound on his right cheek – it’s the size of a nickel, looks like light mint stripes over this ‘wound.’


          *(WOUND, SIZE OF A NICKEL, WITH MINT STRIPES: This is like his being ‘slapped in the face,’ which usually means, by a woman to a man, reprimanded &/or rejected. This is how he feels)*


          She says,


          “His neurological condition coincides with that wound, it parallels it.”


          *(NEUROLOGICAL CONDITION RELATING TO THAT WOUND, PARALLELS IT: He feels I have reprimanded & rejected him, & that has made him a ‘nervous wreck’ – translated from ‘neurological condition.’)*

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          Ozy expected something different, not that he has a problem, but that he’s superior in some way – perhaps he’s disappointed.


          *(OZY WANTED SOMETHING DIFFERENT: The God inside lover/boy/hubby might have thought his flesh was stronger than this – superior to the situation, but he isn’t. When he was pushing you around, he felt superior, in control, now he feels reprimanded, rejected & a nervous wreck.

          “You never miss your water ‘till the well runs dry.”


          He thought it was all you – he was above it. You were pursuing him, obsessed; he didn’t have to do anything but tell you when he wanted you. It was easy. Then suddenly, you were gone. He is perplexed, hurt, bewildered. If he was above it, why does he care? He never had to do anything to keep you, you were in love no matter how much he hurt you. The shoe is on the other foot. The well has gone dry. He needs the water.)*


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College of God & Love, College of Love Making, College of Matriarchal Love, Uncategorized


Ballet dancer wearing red dress over grey



5-9-20-Beautiful blonde man at end of road (Dream)


Interpreted for a friend


          I am having quite a time on this long road. It’s over a mountain – I’ve been here before, many times, but have not been here a long time.


          *(MOUNTAIN: “Lord, this time you gave me a mountain,” – song from Elvis. And Jesus said, “If you have faith as a mustard seed, you can move that mountain.” Mountains are PROBLEMS.

          This is going over a same ole’ – same ole’ problem.)*


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          Now I go back to it & it has CHANGED. I have some sort of vehicle, a good one. I go by this road but here is an obstacle, something white like stiff, is it metal or fiberglass, like not flat, sort of has some curve & an ‘edge’ about a foot wide to, covering almost the entire road, & I squeeze by, amazingly get by.


          *(WHITE OBSTACLE: Clue that this is about marriage. The metallic or fiberglass is the material of a car. And so I am unconsciously wondering about the marriage to Josh – to be or not to be?)*


          Somewhere along the road a person has opened some sort of ‘warehouse,’ like a barn, it houses I don’t know what – it’s white & has some black décor like some sort of round black window. It’s one of those pre-fab buildings, which has a round frame & the ceiling & walls wrap around it. It seems the person who put this here was trying to store something for hard times coming.


          Then the road becomes a FORK. It had never

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been a fork before, & both of the roads are covered in a wide duct tape material – shiny grey. I see the fork of the road from afar. I decide to take the LEFT because I’ve never been that way – always went the other. What will I find?


          *(FORK IN ROAD, NEW LEFT: Left-sided tantra represents things that are forbidden or not considered kosher, but it gets you there. This left turn is something bad that will turn to something good, most probably the economic crisis.


          DUCT TAPE: This is REPAIR or an attempt to fix a thing, & both roads are covered, means there was a problem in both paths or ways. The duct tape is smooth, shiny, easy to slide over. Something has happened to smooth the way, both ways.

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The duct tape might also represent the vision to see, understand, what’s going to happen.)*


          So I drive a long time, seeing new sights, can’t recall what. I finally come to the end & strangely, I am glad; tired of the journey. There is a pretty wall, like 8 or 10’ tall, made of wood & a window over all of it with panes, separated into squares, the side of the road is also some walls. None of this is formidable or threatening, it’s just somehow appropriate, I’m glad it’s the end, I’m tired of the road.


          *(END OF ROAD: The end of the quest, the journey, end of what I am seeking – will the marriage be or not? I am tired of waiting, tired of wondering, tired of trying.


This road might also represent a series of things that will happen, events, sights, that I can now see – that were not seen before & then the end of this quest will be revealed.

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WINDOW AT END: Windows are opportunities, openings, things that allow something to happen, doors are the same. A door opening is an opportunity.)*


          Here appears a handsome young blonde man, cheerful, moving here & there, doing this & that. We greet each other, then he disappears – this happens again & again. In the end, he appears again, puts his arm around me friendly, & then it stays that way.


          *(BEAUTIFUL YOUNG BLONDE: Is Josh. The physical movements are his, & also, we were back & forth together & broken up several times. This reviews that.


          But in the end, he puts his arm around me & does not withdraw – this shows the end will be permanent, him & me.

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BLONDE: Is golden hair, means love.

ARM AROUND ME: Accepts me. Holds me means keeps me in his life, keeps me with him. God is telling me that IN THE END, Josh & I will stay together.)*


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College of God & Love, College of Love Making, College of Matriarchal Love, Uncategorized








          Interpreted for a friend

 unnamed (5) unnamed (4) unnamed (4)

                     The beginning is there’s a lot of turmoil in a community group – there’s like a ‘big man leader’ off to the right, in the middle a group of ‘boys’ or ‘young men.’


          I am here in the middle, doing this & that, like on the media, speaking. There’s a TV or radio show. This man I didn’t think was promoting me, I see his show in retrospect, & he did promote me, so much later I thank him for it. There’s something pitiful about this man, he has a good heart but he’s struggling or something.  


          There’s this guy I love who is in front in a sort of restaurant area with small booths—he has the young guys all around him, he’s one of them.


          One day after a while he’s in a booth, & he & I have been through a lot, & I think it’s time for me to SIT DOWN & TALK TO HIM. I think he’s READY. So I go sit down in the little booth across from him ready for a good important CHAT.


          *(CHAT IN BOOTH: This is when Frank was running like a kid with all the guys – totally immature – while we were dating & I wanted to pin him down to a relationship.

         IN A BOOTH: This is like being ‘fenced in’, a limited space, closed in to some degree, a symbol for a RELATIONSHIP.)*


          He FLIES OFF like a wild animal, totally scared or spooked out, with all the boys around him flying with him. They’re all dependent on each other – like a HERD, & where one goes, they all go. They can’t be or think independently, all dependent on the herd.

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          *(FLIES OFF LIKE WILD ANIMAL with the other guys:  Herd mentality is powerful.)*


          Later I hide behind a staircase where he will re-emerge, I hope to ambush him to see what is he doing & have a discussion.


          *(BEHIND A STAIRCASE, AMBUSH: Long wait for him to come down from his ‘Ivory Tower’ {implied, he is high up, I could say Ivory Tower although it is not shown} but it doesn’t happen for years.



IVORY TOWER: a place or situation remote from worldly or practical affairs — an attitude of aloofness from or disdain or disregard for worldly or practical affairs.       


          AMBUSH, HIDE BEHIND STAIRS TO CHECK ON HIM: Me leaving him, hiding from him, but still interested. Still, the relationship doesn’t happen, it doesn’t work.)*


Somehow this should work but it doesn’t.

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          Years go by. During that time of turmoil, this guy was with a female who he said was chasing him that he wanted to avoid—he acted like he didn’t like or love her, like she wasn’t important to him.


          *(FEMALE NOT IMPORTANT TO HIM CHASING HIM: This is me – he wanted to give people the impression he wasn’t interested in me, that it was only I interested in him – but of course that was only the outside impression, he was equally interested in me, he just didn’t want a commitment—a marriage. He wanted to remain a child.


YEARS GO BY: Years have gone by & I don’t know how much more time remains before our relationship starts.)*

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          Now I see him unexpectedly & I see her face to the left back of me & his face to the right front of me by the corner of is it a brick building? It seems like five or more years after the fiasco.


          Their faces are like none I have ever seen before. Each one is encased in cement – their faces come out of the cement, made of cement, surrounded by a rectangle square horizontally, with decorations of sorts around their faces. It’s mostly grey but there are bits & pieces of color here & there.


          *(FACES ENCASED IN HORIZONTALLY RECTANGULAR CEMENT: It is ‘set in stone’ that we get back together.


          CORNER BRICK BUILDING: Solid brick – also represents the relationship, as we are there. We were ‘crucified’ {the corner} but it stands strong.

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          ‘Sense-image material’ is yesterday I saw a homestead family in the middle of a beautiful dry wilderness. A teenage boy in the family wanted pizza & he & an older brother decide to create a PIZZA OVEN {outside} – which they do with rocks & CEMENT—the boy exclaims the cement looks like dough. They build the oven, the boy kneads the dough, covers it with tomato sauce & shredded cheese, they cook it & the whole family eats it. I was impressed by the ingenuity.


Here the cement that glued together the oven is seen as being mortar / glue to create a relationship – the boy who ran from me like a wild animal with his herd, to the boy who is now united to me in a rock solid relationship.


HORIZONTAL: This is to show me that this is of the earth, not merely spiritual, as we have the spiritual marriage already as of 2019. )*

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          To me it’s totally disappointing that he ended up with her – this cement like says ‘made in stone’ even though they did not get along, he was running from her, but here they are – the same two, so PREDICTABLE – them being together. I find their pairing up to be just so prosaic, so ordinary, all the problems & disclaimers to the contrary – they started out together having problems but ended up together as an ordinary couple, a predictable pairing.


          *(ORDINARY, PROSAIC, PREDICTABLE: Why these words to something I suffered so much for, prayed so hard for & desired totally? I ask of Mother God:

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         She: Because you are so over it, having been through all that. Your emotions have been spent, drained, your mind plateau-d out, you’ve been through so much you simply cannot take any more.


          It could be the emotionally desired now becomes the commonplace & ordinary, & could be ‘taken for granted’ – which would be a sigh of relief from all the previous pain.

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College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized






Dionysus on Cross

The Sacrificial/Saviour Gods

If we accept the matriarchal theory, which goes: In the past there was once a peaceful and caring matriarchal age that worshiped the Great Mother. In this age women ruled society and men never questioned this rule. Then women began to allow men more freedom but this went too far and men abused this this and ended up taking over and ruling society through violence.

Clearly if we look at the history of the last four or five thousand years we can see clearly that men have made a terrible job at ruling the world. Men’s answer to all problems has been aggression and violence, which has created a world of wars, genocide, poverty, fear, hatred and suffering. This was clearly seen two to three thousand years ago at the time of the saviour gods when there was still knowledge of the ancient matriarchal past.

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At that time there must have been a large number of people who wanted the world to return to matriarchy and the worship of the Great Mother. But what was preventing this, was violent and aggressive men.

What is clear is that the ancient religion were totally female dominated religions, but then these women allowed men power and some of these men took advantage and brought into being the patriarchal age.

The sacrificial/saviour god religions where probably an attempt to create female domination religions in ancient times. It is of interest that all these sacrificial/saviour god religions were also called Mystery religions.

Now in all Mystery religions there is an outer and inner mystery, where all knowledge of the inner mysteries is unknown except of an initiated few. In the earlier Mystery plays the saviour god sacrificed themselves to The Great Mother. For instance, in the Nordic mythology, Loki, one of their oldest Gods, was sacrificed to the Goddess Skadi. While even in the Jesus story, his crucifixion is witnessed by the three Marys. Who probably represented in earlier times the Triple Goddesses.

Jesus is also called a king and this may be about a very ancient tradition where the king is sacrifice. It seems in the matriarchal past only queens could rule but she had consort kings. These were mostly young men, and if the queen grew tired of him then he was sacrificed for the fertility of the land. Why this happened might be because a deposed king may be angry at his lost of power and status and stir up trouble for the Queen. Or he might be executed because he began to abuse his power, and tried to undermine or disobey the Queen. So the sacrifice of kings had a long tradition until with the rise of patriarchy and kings became too powerful to allow themselves to be sacrificed.

For this reason, the tradition of the sacrificing the king may have happened as matriarchy was declining. In a true matriarchal society men would not expect to have any power, and so a Queen could have many lovers with no fear that these men will want to take away her powers. As it would have been unthinkable in those days, that a male could, depose a queen and rule in her place. But with the rise of patriarchy, then queens may find themselves with lovers with strong political ambitions. So the only way to deal with them, was to have them executed, or threaten them with execution and claim it was a sacrifice.

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This type of sacrifice probably wasn’t voluntary, but in the savior god tradition it was. It was made very clear in the Bible that Jesus made no attempt to resist himself being crucified. So from this we have to ask the question how can the voluntary sacrifice of the god-man to the Great Mother, save us all?

The problem for people living near any patriarchal society who attempted to set up a matriarchal society of love and harmony, would be quickly conquered by violent men, who were only interested in loot and enslaving the population. So it would be clear that the cause of all the wars, violence, poverty and suffering was these selfish and violent men.

We know from history that the Amazons did for a while attempt to fight fire with fire and fight back. But this clearly wasn’t the answer because by becoming violent yourself you become exactly like the people you are fighting against. In other words the only way Amazons could be free was to become as aggressive, ruthless and violence as the men they fought. The Amazons failed to stop the rising tide of patriarchy, probably because women were unable to become as brutal and ruthless as men.

Now Femdom could be the solution for this problem. In military history there has been many cases where a small army of soldier have defeated far larger armies. The most famous was the Battle of Thermopylae when 300 Spartans stopped a very large Persian army.

It is mostly claim that this can only happen because the small army was better trained, but that is not the only the only reason for this. A group of psychopaths who have no qualms about killing people is going to have a big advantage in a battle again ordinary men who don’t like the thought of killing others.

We know a big problem for any military is forcing troops to kill others and they normally do this by brutalizing them. This is of course going to be a big problem for any loving and caring Matriarchal society because men will not be brutalized enough to want to kill other men in a war and so will be easy defeated in any military conflict.

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The answer to this problem might be Femdom, where men have masochistic desires for sadistic women. Most women don’t like whipping or torturing men but as we see in the Femdom scene there are some women who are happy to do this. So women like this can become officers in any matriarchal army and brutalize their male troops in the way any patriarchal army does. So they will be able fight and kill the men of any patriarchal army trying to invade them.

Unfortunately, as far as we know we didn’t have femdom in ancient times, or if we did no-one thought of using it, to brutalize troops. Instead women decided on a different strategy and attempted to reform these violent men. To do this they gave them a vision of what a caring and loving world would be like and explaining to them this is only possible if men are willing to sacrifice yourself to the Great Mother. So a story was created about a drama of heroic sacrifice, of a God-man sacrificing himself for the good of the world.

To some degree this seems to of been successful because all over Europe and the Middle East there were saviour god religions. So it seems many men were willing to sacrifice themselves to the Goddess in these Mystery religions. Unfortunately, these religions became victims of their own success, because patriarchal leaders who had no interested in sacrificing themselves, saw these religions as a threat to their power and set about either destroying them or taking them over.

It is of interest that early Christianity was very popular among the slaves of the Roman empire. This would make sense as many matriarchal societies where victims of the conquering Romans, so there would be a tradition of the worship of the Mother Goddess among the slaves. For this reason they would be very sympathetic to a saviour god religion like early Christianity.

In the 3th century AD, Rome found itself with three large Saviour God religions. The largest was the Egyptian religion of the Goddess Isis and her saviour god Osiris. Then there were two other the Christians and another based on the saviour God Mithras. 

Isis raising Osiris from the dead

Attempts by the Roman ruling elite to stamp out these saviour god religions, was at first unsuccessful. They were unsuccessful in destroying Christianity, while the Isis religion was popular in the Roman military so this could cause a civil war if they attempted this.

So the ruling elite instead attempted to promote a religion based on another saviour god Mithras, as it was the religion they preferred but this didn’t receive enough support from the people. So in the end they decided that if you can’t beat them join them. They clearly didn’t want a Goddess religion like the the Isis religion and so Christianity became the final choice.

The Roman rulers simply hijacked the Christian religion and changed it to make it acceptable to them. They then set about destroying the religion of Isis were able to convert people in this religion to Christianity because both religions were similar.

But they also destroyed Christian sects like the Egyptian Gnostics that refused follow the type of Christianity put forward by the Roman elite. The actual teachings of Jesus like, “loving your neighbour”, “turning the other cheek” was quickly ignored as the Roman rulers and became more interested in the religion of Judaism and promoted this, rather than what was taught by the early Christian Church.

The promotion of Judaism was the opposite to what many early Gnostic Christians taught, as they referred to the Jewish Jehovah god as the Demiurge and claimed he was a evil god from whom Jesus came to save humankind. The original New Testament was suppose to be an attack on the Old Testament and the patriarchal religion of Judaism, but this was soon changed to endorsing it.

Another big change was that many of the saviour god religions promoted sexual freedom. We can see this is the religions of Dionysus and Bacchus where many of the famous Roman orgies were Bacchus festivals.

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Sexual freedom at the time benefited wealthy women. This was because if women had a sexual licence to have sex with whoever they liked, then no one could say for sure whom were the fathers of their children and so, rich and powerful men had little idea who were their sons. This meant that inheritance of wealth and power could only come down the female line. Meaning that, a large amount of wealth and power stayed in the hands of women.

It seems that early Christianity was also an orgiastic religion of free love, before it became a state religion. To promote the power of men, Christianity was changed to have strict marriage laws where it became a sin to have sex outside of marriage. (Though this only applied to women and not men). The idea being that rich and powerful men now knew whom their sons were and could pass their wealth and power down the male line, preventing it getting into the hands of women.

Then Christianity as a state religion and later the Moslems set about destroying all knowledge of the ancient religion of the Great Mother. With this knowledge finally forgotten by the common people, they were then able to put forward the idea that Jesus sacrificed himself to an angry god to appease him. Rather then the idea, that all men need to sacrifice themselves to the Great Mother, and to women, before we can have a peaceful matriarchal world once again.

Perhaps the mystery religions of the past were a few thousand years before their time. They were trying to promote a vision of a peaceful and loving world in a very violent age. Today in the 21st century we see in the West at least a different attitude to violent men. It is far less acceptable for Western rulers to go out and conquer other countries, (though it still goes on, as we saw in the recent Iraq and Afghanistan wars). And it is far less acceptable for them to rule through fear and intimation. Western rulers today are forced to listen to the needs and desires of the common people and even respect the views and opinions of minorities.

So perhaps the sacrificial/saviour god image within Christianity acted as a Trojan Horse for the patriarchal age. On the collective unconscious level it created a archetype that has influenced all men in Christian countries for the last two thousand years. So that the idea of voluntary sacrifice has become acceptable to men which is starting to bear fruit in the last hundred years. It is interesting that feminism has progressed in Christian countries where men allow women to demand equal rights. This is in stark contrast in Islam countries where feminist women are beaten up, put into jail, and murdered by being stoned and beheaded.

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In contrast, we have seen in Christian countries Jesus like men, in Hippies of the 1960s where men have tried to practice peace and love. Or ideas of the “new man” where men stay at home to look after the house and family while his wife goes out to work. In its more extreme form, we have the concept of Femdom where women totally dominate men. So are these men very much in tune with the archetypal sacrificial/saviour god? Clearly if all men are strongly influenced by this powerful archetypal it will save the world from violence, wars and suffering.

Although Christianity has mostly ignored the teachings of Jesus and have concentrated more on the Old Testament god of judgement and fear, the symbols of a sacrificial Jesus are seen in all Churches. Also, the Great Mother is represented in Roman Catholic Churches in the disguise of the Virgin Mary. So even though many Christian priests have only paid lip-service to the teachings of Jesus and the drama of his betrayal and crucifixion, this is still taught. These symbols, dramas and teachings have been unconsciously influencing men in Christian Counties ever since Christianity became a state religion.

So although in the short term the attempt by matriarchal women to create a submissive saviour god in the past seems like a failure. The popularity of the sacrificial drama of Jesus Christ has brought about an archetypal change in men, which will allow men to surrender themselves to women and bring about a new matriarchal age. After all, it is in Christian countries where we see the rise in feminism during the 20th century and more recently the beginnings of Female Domination. The concept of the sacrificial god, does seem to be working on minds of men to allow themselves to tune into this powerful archetype.

Although for us to have peaceful Matriarchal societies we also need an army with female officers using femdom methods to train their troops again any invading patriarchal army.


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College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized








          There was something to do with my appearing / performing. I was on a street looking through night clubs when finally it focused down to one place. There was a club just opened, & it seemed to be just for me to perform—this is such a privilege.


          I go there & look in a window. Is it big, small? Is it ordinary, because how great could I be, that they open up a club just for me?


          *(PERFORMING IN A CLUB MADE JUST FOR ME: This is a message to me that will be delivered by Holy Mary, concerning the Mass I am saying daily again. She wants to encourage me, she will tell me it works & they (She, Jesus I presume) are pleased.)&

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          Inside I see like three rooms joined into one. There seem to be somehow large beds,{Queen sized}, covered in red covers. Where is the stage? Where are the seats?


          *(BEDS, TWO LARGE WITH RED COVERS: This represents ‘The Body & Blood of Jesus & Mary’—the way I say their Mass. It’s as if they were ‘in bed’ or died their Holy Deaths, covered in ‘blood’ seen as the red of the covers.)*



          I see chairs & tables vaguely. Someone says to me,


          “I can deal with this except for the stage.”


          *(THE STAGE: We are honoring the Death Jesus freely accepted, his Crucifixion, & the participation of Holy Mary which was equal. The stage or how it happened was horrific, someone is saying they ‘could not deal with it.’)*


          I was wondering if the stage was small – I have worked in places where it was like 4’X5’ – like a postage stamp you might say – for someone like me who moves around a lot that’s not comfortable. I look & think I see a table with the rim like an ‘octagon’ with a pretty blue stripe design around the edge {like a mosaic tile design, Moroccan} & it has some chairs by it, maybe silver. Could this be the stage? The entire place is an L shape like my house. But I MUST PREPARE.

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          *(THE STAGE: Is no more than a table. It’s just a medium size kitchen table covered in tiles – the dream refers to tiles.)*


          I have no idea why, but when I prepare I go in with a strong cleaner – like Ajax scouring powder. I take an off-white old rag, cover it with the cleaner & am scouring the back of a refrigerator where there is so much old dry muck-—I have to go over plastic ridges to get it off & it comes off. I worked all over this contraption, front & back, now am on the back.


          A LADY COMES IN to see how I’m doing. I show her my hands, covered in grayish powdery film –


          “My hands should not look like this,”


          *(CLEANING WITH STRONG SCOUR POWDER: This is cleaning Souls in Purgatory – what the Holy Mass does. I am holding the Blood of Jesus & Mary in the ‘martini glass’ in my hand – it is the actual Cleanser – his & her Blood they shed, I now invoke, consume, they receive it. It cleans OLD SINS.

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          MY HANDS SHOULD NOT LOOK LIKE THIS: These are innocent hands invoking Jesus & Mary’s Grace, as if the sins or effects of sins or on my or their hands, & they do the cleaning. My hands should not look like this could mean – I am not a sinner, but I see the effect of sins on ‘my hands’ as if I did it – but it’s on Jesus & Mary’s hands, as if They did it. They stand in for the sinner & cleanse their sins.


          REFRIGERATOR: Is like ‘cold storage’ of sins – they have been there a long time, like ‘cold cases’ of criminals. Here I was cleaning the front, now the back. The back looks like a plastic off-white screen I have on both sides of my attic – a ventilation system. Sins are also forgotten or stored


          IN THE ATTICS of the minds & memories of our lives – we have forgotten them but the karma is still there.)*


          I then notice that she or someone has given me a nice complimentary drink – it looks like water but it’s a cocktail, in a MARTINI GLASS & I’m balancing it in one hand & I guess taking sips while I continue cleaning.

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          *(MARTINI GLASS, holding in one hand, sipping from: This is the KEY to the dream. One you have the KEY it all FALLS INTO PLACE – you know the meaning of the dream, therefore you can deduct the rest of the symbols, it’s easy. This glass is the GLASS I DO THE MASS WITH, WHICH HOLDS WATER, WHICH TURNS INTO THE BODY & BLOOD OF JESUS & MARY. So I instantly know this is about my performing the Holy Mass!)*


          Later this lady who is PREPARING FOR ME TO PERFORM is writing a list on a piece of paper for what I need – I am the star – somehow GREATLY PRIVILEGED – she apparently is going to put materials onto the couches-one of which on I rest in between shows, & ask me what kind of material I want for my couch. What a question, I think. I mean what could I say? Cotton? What kind material? Oh yes,




          I tell her, thinking of a red velvet bed cover I have from long ago – it won’t hurt her, since she has all these materials, to do the velvet instead of another material.


          *(MATERIAL ON MY COUCH HOLY MARY WILL COVER: She / They are honoring me similar to themselves, as a martyr. Like they have beds with red covers, She gives me my couch, where I rest, with a red cover, like I’m one of them. What an honor!)*


          What amazes me is how these people, whoever they are, have prepared a club just for me to star in. It isn’t huge or fancy, but it’s comfortable & accommodates a decent amount of people. I would say 50 could fit, {around the beds, which take up a lot of room!} Good enough! I am so privileged!

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          *(CAN ACCOMMODATE PEOPLE, MAYBE SQUEEZE IN 50: Here Holy Mary is encouraging me not to give up or think of my Mass as trivial. It’s not a huge Cathedral with hundreds of people getting Holy Communion, but it’s my house, my own premises, that Jesus & Mary appear & give themselves to a good number of Souls. She is so kind to encourage me, saying Souls are being helped!)*


          Earlier I had ecstatic experiences of myself dancing with & kissing & making love with men, but can’t recall details. I know these are Souls. Since many years ago I have had such dreams – even of picking up men as a prostitute, taking them some place & having ECSTATIC LOVE. At first I didn’t understand what it meant – but after a while realized it was the transmission of God’s Love from me to Souls in Purgatory & they apparently were lifted into Heaven – thereby the Ecstasy for both of us.


          People should think twice about their ecstatic sex dreams – it could be spiritual love. My disciples, both male & female, have such dreams with me all the time. I tell them not to be ashamed – sometimes they fear telling me the dreams.

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College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized


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Female Friendly Femdom


Femdom is a paradox: Because it should be about Women dominating men. Yet the reality is, that many FemDom men, ‘top from the bottom’. Where, they demand and tell Women how act out their sexual fantasies. True Dominant Women do not like this and for this reason reject FemDom completely. This is why there are far more men within Femdom than Women. So I am advocating true FemDom where men do not make any demands on Women and their role is only to serve and do only what the Women want.


INTRODUCTION                     by WILLIAM BOND



We are today are so use to male domination religions that only worship a male god with an exclusive male priesthood, that most of us don’t question this. As the result, many people would be shocked if we had a religion that only worships a female deity with only a female priesthood.


So to balance this up I thought I’ll write about a female dominated religion and explain what it would be like. I have focused on Christianity because much of the teachings of Jesus seem to be very feminine in nature and would make more sense in a Goddess religion.


Anyway I have written a book of Nine chapters about my ideas on this and published it on this blog.

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It starts off with Jesus’s teachings like “turn the other cheek” as well as they way he allowed himself to be betrayed, whipped and crucified. Pointing out the similarity in his teachings and behaviour with Femdom men.


I then go on to write about Gnostic Gospel, “The Sophia of Jesus Christ” and link the Goddess Sophia with the Ancient Great Mother and the Golden Age. I also link this with the work of the archaeologist Mariji Gimbutas.


I also mention the sacrificial/saviour gods before Jesus like Osiris, Orpheus, Dionysus, Bacchus, Mithras and Odin.


Finally I go into mysticism and the dance between the feminine and masculine. Where the feminine talking us back to a world of Oneness and harmony and the masculine taking us into individuality but also separation, conflict and chaos. Then why it is important for the feminine to dominate and control the masculine to prevent it destroying our world.


Femdom Christainity: Chapter One


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Jesus Meek and Mild


In most ChristianChurches we find main focus is a image of a half naked man called Jesus nailed to a cross. Looking at this objectively without any religious explanations, this is an extremely weird image.


Christians do attempt to explain Jesus’s crucifixion and claimed he died for our sins. Though Christians disagree about what this means. As a child every time I went to church I was told the following.


“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.”


Suggesting that it was God’s idea to have Jesus crucified, though why he had to do this to grant people eternal life, is not made clear. Some Christians claim that Jesus was the Passover Lamb. In this Jewish ritual all the sins of the community was put on the lamb and was then sacrificed. While other Christians claim that Jesus was sacrificed to appease an angry God. Which is not the behaviour of a loving, reasonable or even sensible deity.


Human sacrifice to appease an angry male god is nothing new and was commonplace in ancient times. We see this in the Bible in the book of Genesis where Abraham was commanded by God to sacrifice his son Isaac, but at the last moment God changed his mind and Isaac was saved. After this there was no more human sacrifice in Judaism. So it wouldn’t make sense for Jesus to be sacrificed if he was Jewish. So there has to be another explanation for this.


To try and make sense of all this, we can get from Christians long convoluted explanations like the following.


When we say “Jesus died for our sins,” we are saying that He died because of our sins. Sin leads to death (Romans 6:23). We were sinners consigned to death, and we had no way to stop sinning. Jesus came into our world and lived a perfect life, so death had no hold on Him. Yet, in His grace, Jesus chose to die on our behalf. He took our punishment for us. As He died “for our sins,” as our substitute, He prayed that we would be forgiven. Since our penalty has already been paid, God will forgive all who put their trust in Jesus.”


The behaviour Jesus doesn’t make sense, as he knowing allowed Judas to betray him, he made no resistance to his arrest, he refused to defend himself against any accusation, and finally allowed himself to be whipped, abused and finally crucified. So if we take away all the religious justifications for his behaviour, we are left with a man with that seems to have extreme masochistic tendencies.


We even find this in his in his teachings. As we can see in the following two examples, taken from the King James version of the Bible.


In Matthew chapter 5 verse 38


Ye have heard that it hath been said. And eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth:

But I say unto you. That ye resist not evil: but whosoever she smite thee on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.

And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also.

And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.

Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee and not turn not thou away.

Ye have heard that it hath been said. Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.

But I say unto you. Love your enemies, bless them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you:

That ye many be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth the rain on the just and on the unjust.


We can see a similar concept in another Gospel.


Luke chapter 6 verse 27


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But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you.

Bless them that curse you and pray for them which despitefully use you.

And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloak forbid not to take away thy coat also.

Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again

And as ye would that man should do to you, do also to them likewise

For if ye love them which love you, what thanks have ye for sinners also, love those that love them.

And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? For sinners also do even the same.

And if ye lend to them of whom you hope to receive, what thank ye? For sinners also lend to sinners, to receive much gain.

But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the highest: For he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.

Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father is merciful.

Judge not and ye shall not be judged: condemn not and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven.


Now for obvious reasons many Christians are embarrassed by such teachings and try to ignore them as it makes Jesus seem like a wimp. This is why many Christians prefer the teachings of the Old Testament with its macho heroes like David, Moses and Samson who stood up for themselves and fought back.


Yet clearly if every man was to follow Jesus’s masochistic teachings we would live in a far more caring, loving and compassionate world.


Jesus also said, “Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.” (Matthew 5:5). The joke that goes with this is, “If that’s alright with everyone else”. Suggesting that aggressive and competitive people will always end up ruling the world.

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So this then seems to be the problem. Yes, if would be great if every man was to act and behave like Jesus as it would end conflict, wars and oppression in our world. But in the end he was totally defenceless and unable to fight back when aggressive and violent people decided to arrest him on trumped up charges, then abuse and crucify him.


The Bible has no-answer to this. But we also know that his teachings were probably censored as many versions of the Bible was destroyed when Christianity became the state religion of the Roman Empire. In the 20th century some of these lost gospels were re-discovered and called the Gnostic Gospels. One of these is the “Sophia of Jesus Christ”. Sophia was the ancient Jewish Goddess of wisdom before Judaism became a monolithic religion. 


In the “Sophia of Jesus Christ” or “Pistis Sophia” she is called, “the Mother of the Universe”. In ancient times people worshipped the Great Mother who gave birth to the universe, so this is telling us that Sophia is the ancient Great Mother. This then gives us a clue for why Jesus voluntary sacrificed himself.


Scholars, points out that the story of Jesus is not original or unique because many pagan gods like Osiris, Orpheus, Dionysus, Bacchus, Mithras, Odin, Bader and Loki also had similar histories. The story of a god-man who performed miracles like healing the sick, then was condemned to death and crucified was commonplace in many pre-Christian religions. Most of these gods died on trees or stakes and some like Dionysus and Jesus died on crosses.


Though Osiris was murdered by his brother Set or Seth and cut up into many pieces, before the Goddess Isis found all pieces and magically brought him back to life so she could conceive her son Horus.


These were called sacrificial/saviour gods, the idea being that humankind is saved by the voluntary sacrifice of these gods. So how can this happen? The biggest cause of all the suffering of our world is that it is ruled by men.

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We can see how the masculine operates in the animal world where male animals fight and even kill each other for access to females and dominance.


Now this is not a big problem when animals fight with horns, teeth or claws but a far bigger problem when we have men fighting each other with spears, swords, rifles, machine guns, bomber aircraft, guided missiles and nuclear bombs. For this reason men today have not only become a danger to himself but to the whole planet.


Not only this, masculine aggression, also leads to oppression and exploitation. In all very masculine societies of the past we find slavery, serfdom, and extreme oppression of women.


The feminine is in total contrast to this, as the instincts of the females, in nearly all animals, is to give birth and nurture her young. So the feminine is maternal, nurturing, loving and caring and for this reason it would make far more sense if compassionate women ruled the world instead of men. This then makes logical sense so why aren’t people clamouring for this?

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In our patriarchal world the feminine is seen as a weakness. Loving men are condemned as wimps and told that they are not ‘real men’. This is why so many Christians ignore the teachings of Jesus as they think they are too wimpy.


As we see in many Hollywood films the masculine is glorified. To the degree that even woman are influenced by this and feel if they wants to gain respect she also has to act and behave like a masculine man. So we live in a world where women are encouraged to act like aggressive, cruel and ruthless men but men are not encouraged to be as loving and nurturing as women.


Because men are encouraged to be macho men, our history shows us a world ruled by macho men is a world of conflict, wars, exploitation and chaos. Even men do not like living in a cruel world like this as men are exploited by other men and used as cannon-fodder on the battlefield.


So did Jesus try to create a Goddess religion where men worshipped women? To many people this might seem preposterous but we accept it as normal to have religions where men dominate women so why not have the reverse of this?

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