College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

LOVE, SEX & MARRIAGE

YOUNG GIRLS LEAVE HIM COLD 

RANDOM, EMPTY SEX NOT

SATISFYING

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6-28-20-BEVY OF YOUNG GIRLS LEAVES HIM SAD & FORLORN–EMPTY

MANY DREAMS OF JUNE 2020

 

Dreams interpreted for friends

 

          I see lover Donzy sitting in a private sort of closet/room, it’s long with a padded bench along the entire wall – it seems to be about 10’ long & maybe 4’ deep. He’s sitting there against the wall when a young female reaches over a wall to the right, {the wall is rather high, you’d have to be on something to look over} leans over & asks to see his dick.

 

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          *(ASKS TO SEE HIS DICK, YOUNG FEMALE: It’s all about his dick, how large it is. How many times does this have to happen before it gets old? How often does a sexy person get hit on before it gets annoying—being seen as just a sex object? He is young, handsome & huge dicked & can have so many young females—BUT THEY ARE NOT TURNING HIM ON. Most men think they want hundreds of women. But when hundreds of women hit on him then what?)*

 

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          He has it out. I look at it, looks like it is – large, but not hard. Then a second girl looks over the top of this wall next to the first & also asks to see it, & goes further. It was soft, but she touches it & holds it & it gets semi-hard, like half of it on the bottom is swollen but on top it isn’t.

 

          *(TOUCH MAKES IT HALF HARD: Even when he is touching, petting or doing sex with one of these girls, he isn’t fully excited.)*

 

          During this episode he looks BORED. Then another girl appears this time inside his room, & she’s prettier than the first two, like curly blonde hair & her breasts are small but very full & with nipples somewhat protruding. This interests him & for a few seconds–he sucks on her right breast, the one closest to him—then falls back like he loses interest—this lasted 3 seconds.

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          *(HER BREAST INTERESTS HIM FOR 3 SECS: The breast is a symbol of nurturing & love, motherhood. He needs this sort of love, but this is a young girl & she does not fulfill the image of what he wants & needs – a real mother.)*

 

          Other females appear, all the same thing. Then a male comes in through the door in back, stands there looking at them, takes out his little dick & masturbates. Donzy doesn’t like that.

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          *(OTHER MALE MASTURBATES LOOKING AT THIS: Other males, who don’t have what Donzy has, are not as popular, do not get so many women, & perhaps most of all, do not have a need for a mother as strong as he has – they get turned on by anything sexual & by young females.)*

 

          Then another one intrudes & similar story, Donzy feels overwhelmed how to stop them. He is bored by the females, annoyed by the males & feels invaded.

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  *(FEELS INVADED: This is not the scene he wants, random sex, being seen by so many girls as object—they want him, but he doesn’t want them.)*

 

          Furthermore, during this time his face changes. First it’s blank, it becomes more GAUNT or HAGGARD -     he goes from his age to like 20 years older, thin, dark shadowy creases on his face. He looks empty, depressed, like what is happening here is meaningless.

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          *(FACE GETS OLDER, GAUNT & HAGGARD: I’m going to turn this interpretation over to Mother God, as She will express it better than I can:

 

          She: This is the situation over a period of time from the day he started dealing with girls until now.

 

          Because of what he went through during his growing years, he needs a mother. His mother betrayed & abandoned him emotionally. There’s a big hole in his soul for true love & protection.

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          He’s always been attracted to older women, but his ‘front’ doesn’t show this – he’s never gone public with his preference except when dating you, it was revealed to some degree.

 

          He’s been with the young girls continuously now for years – this shows his decreasing interest in them – he’s now fed up with this empty sex – me as sex object – just physical. He’s seen acutely how unsatisfied he is by these transactions – they simply do not stimulate or satisfy his heart, he’s fed up.

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          The dream does not point this out, but this is part of his awakening to what he wants & needs & what he does not. What he does not are young, immature, inexperienced, weak females who are as needy & naive as he is.

 

          What he wants is the older woman who loves in true love, cares, nurtures, is able to satisfy his emotional, spiritual as well as physical needs. The empty females can only satisfy his body – which is here portrayed as not turning him on any more – he needs love & it your love he needs.

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          And so, he has come to a point where he is aware of how empty life is without you.)*

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6-25-20-HES MY GIGOLO SHE SAYS-HE CHOOSES HER

HES BACK TO ME-LOVES ME

I AM THE TRUE WIFE BECAUSE MY LOVE IS SACRIFICIAL

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Interpreted for a friend

 

          There’s a big thing about my Lover Ben. I’ve been away for a while & while I was gone he was inundated with two types of aggressive people – a group of gays who started with literature, then presented themselves & wouldn’t leave him alone, & second, one female who gives him a stack of brochures that means ‘I want you’ which I tear up & throw back at her.

 

          Once I’m back to his side I am fighting all these people. First the gays. It’s like day after day. Like demons, they come back again & again. I fight them off. Then on the last occasion there are five of them & they are so persistent I can’t do any more, I cry at the top of my voice {which seams weakened} for help – & help I believe comes, as they are banished. As I’m fighting lover is sitting in the seat to my right – they are to my left, front, trying to get to him.

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          *(FIGHTING GAYS: Ben did have a few determined gays after him, who I did fight & seemed to deter at least for a while. According to this, I was overwhelmed, called for God’s help & it came.)*

 

          After I’d gone & returned, sat next to him, all his friends to the right saw it & noticed. Not much reaction.

 

          But when the female comes, stands in front to my left looking at him, tall, curly light brown hair, an eager look on her face {she is nice} & I tear up the brochures, it’s an emotional act.

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          *(BROCHURES: Are like advertisements, proposals. She is offering him herself – I interfere. I don’t know who this refers to as he ‘dated’ several females & had sex with numerous ones.)*

 

 

          I am exhausted from the struggles.

 

          Recall one time going with him to the building where he lives, finding more intrusive mail in his mail box, something about the bottom of a large cardboard envelope falling off, I already dispatched the main part & see it lying on the floor – he says its nothing, just a scrap.

 

          *(NOTHING, JUST A SCRAP HE SAYS: He pooh poohed all the women he was flirting with while we were together)*

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          Then it becomes two of us, a female to his right, myself to his left, & it’s like we have won over everyone else, but it’s two of us. We are both holding him by the arm marching to his place. She then begins chanting,

 

          “He’s my gigolo, he’s my gigolo-He’s mine.”

 

          So many times I lean over the front of him & punch her in the midsection again & again. He stops my arm & says,

 

          “She’s mine.”

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          *(HE’S MY GIGOLO: She bought him with substances. He knew they are evil, using them leads to dire consequences, he knew I wanted health & safety for him, but he chose this.)*

 

          I then think I guess he’s made his choice, I might as well leave, let go his arm & begin walking away.

 

          *(HE WALKS WITH BOTH OF US HOLDING HIS ARMS FOR A WHILE but when he says ‘she’s mine,’ I let go & walk away.

 

          For a while both of us were with him but I finally stopped seeing him. When he says ‘she’s mine’ he presented her, but not me, as his relationship woman on social media.)*

 

          Prior to that when it was the three of us sort of hanging out – fighting off everyone else, some time had passed & he was no longer the beautiful man I once lauded.

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          His face is distorted & the skin on his face is thick made of nothing but white tablets {sort of under translucent skin, hard to explain} going every which way that mean ‘drugs,’ his nose is ugly, his teeth are totally crooked, leaning on top of each other; I think how hard it will be for dentistry to straighten them.

 

          *(HE TURNS UGLY: This is inner ugliness. His physical remained the same, but his thought patterns, feelings, decisions, activities were ugly.

 

          His persona is DISTORTED      which means not righteous, not the right way to live.

 

          TEETH CROOKED: Stupidity, anti wisdom, as teeth in this case are being wise/smart.

 

          ENTIRE FACE WHITE PILLS GOING EVERY WHICH WAY: White pills could be cocaine, & he is ugly with the desire & use of it – it’s become one with him, he is possessed by it, the woman he chose & cocaine are synonymous, he is an ugly persona now.)*

 

          I think to myself does he realize how ugly he’s gotten? He should look in the mirror – how could I desire him looking this way? I don’t. I muse about his former beauty. Will he look at his old images I took & then realize the difference or is he blind? He looks gruesome.

 

          *(UGLY, GREUSOME: He was never this addicted to drugs before, this is extreme & he is not aware how ugly his inner self has gotten.)*

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          TIME PASSES, NEXT DREAM

 

          He is alone with me in my small apt – it only has 3 small rooms, in front of me is a blue door, paint chipped in vertical stripes. I am poor.

 

          *(BLUE DOOR, I AM POOR: I am poor emotionally, the one I love is not with me.)*

 

          He appears, wearing maybe an army green tight shirt & he holds me in his arms saying,

 

          “I love you”

 

          and this several times. I am not as quick to say I love you back, but I do.

 

          *(THIS ROOM IN THE MIDDLE: The dream will show a room where my small daughter is {the flesh} & another room to the right – this being the middle is the inner self or HEART. We meet in our hearts, n his heart he loves me in true love, right now, realizing this love more than ever – but I’m holding back as I don’t trust him too much, he’s hurt me so much so many times. The

 

          ARMY GREEN SHIRT: Might say he’s been through a lot of battles these years.)*

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          I was going to start making love with him right then but my small daughter opens that blue door & sees us, so I can’t. I think ‘here he sees me in my poverty. Is he OK living with me here?’

 

          *(DAUGHTER OPENS DOOR: This inner room where I am is the soul, the God Self, the real me, while the daughter is the flesh, the place where the soul is housed & functions.

 

          There has been a great battle between myself & my flesh, my Higher Self telling my flesh to back off, leave him alone – I even threatened to kill her if she went out with him again, & I did kill her with the heart attacks.

 

          Here we are communing on the higher/deeper spiritual level, & my flesh witnesses it – that he loves me in true love now, prior to that he was playing games although the real love was deep inside.

 

          My emotional poverty – being all alone, having no one – will that put him off? That is to say, I am no longer trying to be popular, he has no competition. Do I fear he’ll take me for granted?)*

 

          Then we’re in the garage at the old farm house. We are working on things with wood. He wants to make sure I know he loves me, but he adds,

 

          “Just don’t look in the attic.”

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          *(DON’T LOOK IN THE ATTIC: The attic is where all old things are stored, mementoes, things no longer used, antiques, memories. He dreads that I will recall all the horrible things he did to me – the cruelties. He’s saying don’t go there, don’t recall, don’t let what I did stand between us. Cruel item for example: He has never given me his phone number, but he gives it to every female he meets in bars.

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6-24-20-MY DOG DOES WRONG

 

Interpreted for someone else.

 

          I realize now this dog is my lover Ben.

 

          I am on an excursion through the woods at the old farm house. It was a sort of ‘deep road’ through the woods in a circle, navigating it took about one hour. In much of it, both sides had ‘walls’ of dirt. Have no idea who created it long ago. If you went straight on one part of it halfway into the circle you went to the other side of the woods, where ran a highway {strangely exactly like where I live, everything on this old farm I bought parallels the old farm I spent half my youth on.}

 

          So here I go on a sled with my dog running with me – He’s a German shepherd but pure white beautiful elegant dog.

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          This journey is so pleasant. The sled slides on the road as if it was pure ice or hard snow – it seems to know the way like it’s alive, so even when we come to a sharp turn left & it might keep going straight & veer off into a body of water to the right – a lake in the dream I guess – it goes along the road as if it has intelligence, & I’m enjoying the ride immensely—great fun.

 

          *(ROAD, RIDE, PLEASANT: This represents a mental path I go on which leads to psychic visions or revelations. My mind is used to this sort of thought pattern & it’s easy & automatic for me.)*

 

          We get to the other side, Whitey & I, & come upon a Post Office with a counter & a lady that reminds me of the one I had ages ago who died—she was so nice to me.

 

          *(POST OFFICE: There’s a MESSAGE or revelation here.)*

 

          After chatting with her a moment we leave this counter, which is open to the outside & it is then I notice the two DEERS reclining on the counter, both young & beautiful & wearing identical soft, thin neckbands that look like Christmas – green with small speckled decorations of red & other colors.

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          *(TWO DEER WITH XMAS NECK BANDS: The revelation is this: Ben was given AS A GIFT a choice of TWO WOMEN—both of whom love him.)*

 

          For some reason the deer that is closer to the front jumps off the counter & runs & Whitey chases her. This is wrong, but I now he won’t hurt her, he’s just playing. But others don’t see it that way. I try to stop him & chase them both up the highway back toward where we came from when we come to a crossroad.

 

          *(SHE JUMPS, RUNS, HE CHASES HER: My dog is Ben. He is Whitey because this is about marriage/relationship—he is the groom in white. One of the deer-women runs & he CHASES HER – which is wrong. He has chosen THE WRONG FEMALE FOR A RELATIONSHIP—the other woman, not me.

 

          “I KNOW HE IS JUST PLAYING” – means I know his intentions are not serious, he’s playing like a player plays—he’s not playing ‘for keeps’ or with sincere intentions.

 

          CROSSROAD: But there is a serious cross or problem coming up because of his choice.)*

 

          There a man comes out holding something long which I fear is a gun. I warm him,

 

          “Don’t kill my dog or I will kill you.”

 

          He says,

 

          “I’m not going to kill him, just whack him hard.”

 

          I feel he wants to teach Whitey a lesson.

 

          The man seems to come out of a house & his wife is behind him. I don’t know what his connection with this situation is.

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          *(MAN WITH WEAPON IN HIS HANDS comes out of a house, wife behind him: I sense this is a man sent by God – whoever he may be – it would be a karmic penalty, the wrath of God put upon Whitey. The fact that this is a house with a husband & wife & the wife is behind him could be saying,

 

          “We represent a serious marriage or relationship, & this person is playing games.”

 

          ‘If you kill him I’ll kill you,’

 

          shows that even though Whitey has made a mistake, against me, I’m still protecting his life – it’s True Love. I did not wish revenge.

 

“NOT GOING TO KILL HIM, JUST WHACK HIM HARD”: This is saying that the problem, at this ‘crossroad’ or cross, will hit Ben really hard. The only clue I have as to what has or will hit Ben is the

 

ROD OF STEEL, WITH RIDGES: It reminds me of railroad ties, that fit together, taken apart, one might look this way, with ridges, except this piece is thicker, heavier like iron but grey & shiny like steel & shorter than a railroad tie—maybe 2.5’.

 

What would a railroad represent? Mother God, help.

 

She: Railroad is TRAVEL.

 

Me: OK, who’s traveling or who’s going somewhere?

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She: When there’s travel someone leaves, sometimes leaving another behind. This designates a ROUGH DEPARTURE OR SPLIT UP with the woman he was chasing. The

 

          THREE SIDES, RIDGES: of the rod represent a conflict where there is his side, her side & the truth. They have a problem where they aren’t happy. He sees his side, she hers, & God sees the TRUTH.

 

          Me: What is the truth?

 

          She: He chose the wrong woman, the one that would take him downward instead of up, it’s like selling your soul to the devil – he said he had in a poem. She held onto him by negative, harmful means – they were both wrong & the liaison was destined to end in misery, — that’s the hard whack at the crossroad.)*

 

          But I do see what is in his hands – it’s a sort of heavy dark grey steel rod, with ridges on 3 sides. As he holds it menacingly I am hoping he does not do damage to my dog like hit him in the head – & that’s where this dream ends.

 

          *(“DON’T KILL HIM” & I continue to worry about the injury this rod will produce. This is the classic example of the decision King Solomon had to make, where two women each claimed maternity over an infant. Solomon testing them saying he would cut the child in half for each one, & one woman cried

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          “Don’t do that – let her have it, don’t do harm to the child.”

 

          And Solomon said,

 

          “There is the mother.”

 

          The test for who will get this man is the one who will sacrifice him or give him up if it means saving his life. The other woman didn’t care if she harmed him, she would keep him while hurting him. But if this ROD or PUNISHMENT would lead to his DEATH I am saying

 

          “Let the other woman have him if the penalty is death. Don’t kill him as a punishment.”

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          And so, I am the true Mother/Wife—the one who cares enough to sacrifice him in order to save him.)*

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EX LOVER CHANGES HIS TUNE

 

6-22-20-ELVIS TRIES TO KILL HIMSELF

 

2ND—MY DOGS NEED HELP

 

          Interpreted for friends

 

          This is extremely unusual. I am looking from afar & hearing that Elvis wants to kill himself. He has a gun, he’s going to do himself in by putting it in his mouth, pointed toward his brain, & pull the trigger.

 

          Everyone hears about this & it’s treated like a crime to be committed. As I said I am afar, like in the air looking down at the streets of the area where he is.

 

          *(I AM LOOKING FROM THE AIR: My God Self is perceiving what is going on.

 

          ELVIS: Is lover Henry. MomGod, explain why he would be Elvis.

          She: You once adored him as you did Elvis, put him on a pedestal, made him into a star {in your mind.}

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          ELVIS WANT TO KILL HIMSELF: The state of lover Henry’s mind—despair.}*

          I see police gather to prevent this crime – many, like a hundred, & they are spread out on the street & in & near his dwelling, some wearing helmets (is one yellow?), rather different uniforms.

 

          *(POLICE, DIFFERENT UNIFORMS, one has a yellow helmet: Police are usually ANGELS. This says a large number of them have appeared to help Henry not fall into the abyss. They are of different types against various negative thoughts & feelings – the one with yellow helmet might be against Henry’s COWARDICE, fear, losing hope.)*

 

          The police are there also to keep people away. They are gathering, as many have heard about this & is it curiosity?

 

          *(PEOPLE ‘HAVE HEARD ABOUT THIS—CURIOSITY—police keep them away: Mother God, I am stumped. What does this say?

 

          She: Most if not all of his friends are negative, & all or most of them are against his relationship with you. The angels want to keep him away from all negative people so they don’t drive him lower or advise him badly in his despair, saying things like,

 

          “Oh, you’ll get over it….The woman you think you love is all wrong for you….don’t contact her….the one you have is right, she’s your age….don’t lose what you have….don’t take a chance contacting this woman you think you love – it isn’t love, it’s insanity, etc.”)*

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          But I see the street or alley behind his building is empty – completely empty – no cars, no people, no nothing. I wanted to get closer to Elvis – not sure why. This street or alley seems to have a black pavement – has a look or texture of tar – but when I go there I don’t feel any effect of tar, just a normal road, & I am the only person there & the police don’t bother me.

 

          *(EMPTY STREET LIKE TAR {but I don’t feel the tar}: This explains why Elvis wants to kill himself. It’s a theme we’ve seen again & again. They alley behind your apt where Lover would call for you. It’s now empty, nothingness, {you’re never there} & paved in

 

          TAR: Tar is HELL. Elvis/Henry is in the HELL OF DESPAIR from NOT SEEING YOU. HE FEELS SUICIDAL this dream says – so bad that 100 angels – no doubt sent by you – are attending to him.)*

 

I descend from my place ‘in the sky’ to go to this street & in the next moment I’m in the room with Elvis facing him.

 

Suddenly he’s not a far away star, more like an intimate friend, & I’m speaking to him not to kill himself. I say,

 

“Your fans would be terribly hurt, including myself, & this lady over here” –

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There was a female sitting in a chair behind him, with pretty curly hair, smiling, & she agreed with what I said. It’s like she’s sitting in an audience while El would be on stage, me close to him.

 

I saw an image of him earlier like this: He was an image like a poster, there are green vertical stripes on him, like a 50’s style jacket & his penis is portrayed like a small green funnel, about 4” long, hollow but filled with water, & on top the water makes a curve, like indentation—like this sign not standing but horizontal: (

 

The place El is in becomes a hospital of sorts, with the cops being the attendants or medical staff. The whole thing perplexes me. I am frustrated with the police, thinking they are supposed to be doing something else. They seem to be acting like he’s in a hospital & they must periodically give him meals, that’s about it.

 

          *(HOSPITAL: Place of healing. The angels are healing Henry of despair & wanting to die                          .

 

          MEALS: Would be NOURISHMENT or positive energy.)*

 

One of the meals is regular, but under & in front of the meal closer to me, are pieces of pork, half of it fat, half meat, many pieces & it’s agreed that this is too much for him—this was one of several meals.

 

*(TOO MUCH PORK, MEAT: There are things that Henry cannot DIGEST – Meat represents grownup food spiritually. Milk & sweets represent baby food that makes you grow when you are young, consolation. But MEAT could be hardship, the food for adults, which says here that THE PAIN HE IS NOW EXPERIENCING IS TOO MUCH FOR HENRY TO BEAR.)*

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He seems to be ‘moving ahead’ with the service given him by these police/medics, like going from this room to this then that, in a sense, coming closer to me, but I’m moving with him.

 

*(MOVING ROOM TO ROOM CLOSER TO ME BUT WITH ME: He is becoming more intimate & open toward me by the ministration of the angels.)*

 

The entire time we are chatting. I asked him why he wanted to kill himself & he gave me an answer I’m having trouble recalling. Can Mother God or any saint or angel help me bring it back?

 

It was something like life was not worth living any more, but I don’t recall why. {The dream explains why, my absence.}

 

He does say,

 

“I should have given you a large sum of money but I didn’t, now it’s too late” {he’s going to die.}

 

In the dream he’s the real Elvis, wealthy as can be, while I am just a poor girl. And indeed, this implies we were close & he gave me nothing.

 

          *(MONEY: Can represent anything of VALUE – resources. In Shakespeare’s play Othello:

 

“Good name in man and woman, dear my lord, Is the immediate jewel of their souls: Who steals my purse steals trash; ’tis something, nothing; ‘Twas mine, ’tis his, and has been slave to thousands: But he that filches from me my good name Robs me of that which not enriches him And makes me poor indeed.”

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          In this scene, rich Elvis/Henry had the POWER to honor me publicly, to tell the world it was me whom he loved. But he gave me NOTHING, he left me in emotional poverty.

 

          Now that he has LOST ME he regrets not giving me RECOGNITION—a GOOD NAME before society—honoring me would be the most valuable thing he could have given me.)*

 

In the last scene somehow he’s been liberated from this hospital & walking with me – he seems smaller. We go to a small variety store; it sells food, other things. He then sees in the corner a counter for a BANK & seizes the opportunity to make up for the past. He’s going to write me a check for a large sum of money. I guess he did not have his checkbook so he needs to get a blank check from them with his account number. He HURRIES because he wants to do this, in his mind, BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE.

 

*(GOES TO BANK TO WRITE ME A CHECK: This is his intention, in his mind, to give me the recognition he denied me – as the woman he loves. The

 

SMALL VARIETY STORE: Could be social media like face book that has all sorts of items on it.

 

WALKING WITH ME, OUT OF THE HOSPITAL: Says the angels have cured his despair & convinced him we are still together. He now intends to present me, give me the recognition he denied me, give me the relationship & show it publicly.

 

Nothing has happened, but this says it’s in his mind. He wants to do this before its too late, he fears he might lose me.

 

BANK IN THE CORNER: This area in the store reminds me of the spot on the left corner of FB where is the ‘in a relationship’ spot. This says he intends to put me there, acknowledge we’re together.)*

…………………………………………………….

 

MY DOGS NEED HELP

 

          I have been away a couple days & anxious about my dogs, are they OK, do they have food, are they free to run in the kennel or outside? {Sometimes in dreams my dogs, especially Gagee Boy {a Rottie}, are closed up in the cellar, & that would be bad for too long.}

 

          I see Gagee Boy there in a sort of ‘loft’ area in my place, looking at his plate full of dry dog food & for some strange reason, digging for sugar.

 

          *(GAGEE BOY: I found out in my recent dreams is me, my inner sense & digging for

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          SUGAR: is looking for love, affection. In the South when Mamma wants a kiss she says to her child, ‘Gimme some sugar.’ I’m in need of physical love.)*

 

          I look for Fruitcake {A German Shepherd} & find him outside, quite miserable. He had been FREE, running the streets in this pleasant suburban area – I see trees all around. But someone did not like his gadding about & put him on a HEAVY CHAIN, it’s long – maybe 15’, but heavy enough to hold a large bull. He’s lying on the sidewalk crying, with the chain all crumpled around him. I go to him & unclip the chain from his neck.

 

          *(FRUITCAKE: I found out in the last dreams also that this is my lover Henry. Gagee Boy vs Henry is Gagee boy, the Rotty, was strong, dominant & aggressive. That represents me in this relationship.

 

          Fruitcake, the Shepherd, was sweet, had been hurt badly by a previous owner {who left him on the street near my house on Easter Sunday, so the first name that came to my mind for him was Fruitcake}, was timid & insecure, handsome, with a heart of gold. This is lover Henry.

 

          Although the Rotty dominated Fruitcake & even pushed him around, once another dog was grabbing his food & he heard Fruitcake crying terribly. Gagee came around the house running & beat this other dog – a Coon Hound, so badly, the hound had to have 70 stitches.

 

          These two dogs now exemplify lover Henry & myself. What I like about this it’s saying Henry has a heart of gold, in spite of his failures – & that’s what counts.

 

          THE HEAVY CHAIN, FRUITCAKE IS CRYING: Lover Henry got himself into a mess, naively, thinking he was taking the right road. He got himself into a relationship which is here portrayed as A HEAVY CHAIN which makes him miserable.

 

          This portrays me unhooking the chain. But what this means in time & space reality I have no idea, as physically, nothing has happened. It must be in his mind.)*

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…………………………………………………..

 

6-18-20-MAN COMFORTS ME I HIM (My lover John is in great misery due to our separation)

 

6-17-20-I STOP MAN JUMPING OUT WINDOW (Lover John feels desperate but regains hope about our togetherness)

 

6-16-20-I BLOCK MY GOD SELF (When I doubt God I lose touch with her & sink into my miserable flesh)

 

6-20-20-SAINT & ANGELS COME TO MY AID (I call to saints & angels in my need, many answer my call, including, surprisingly, lover John. He’s not an angel so this is him as a ‘saint’

 

          Interpreted for friends – It’s no one you know

 

          Man comforts me, I him: I’m in my room by the window – don’t know which residence. Looking out the window I feel kind of LOST, unwanted, and lonely. The feeling is no one wants me or cares about me, I am all alone.

 

          A strange thing happens. A man comes barreling up the alley behind my window on what I thought was a motorcycle. He’s amazing looking. He puts his hand on my window cill when he stops & I put my hand on his. An amazing sense of warmth passes through our hands. Not sure whose warmth goes first, but it goes both ways. We disengage & moments later we touch hands again.

 

          *(MAN: Lover John, the warmth we shared, the emotions, both sexual & spiritual. He comforted me, I him. We needed each other, we were & are in love. He speaks to me mystically when our bodies are apart.)

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          He is beautiful & sexy in a macho way. His hair is waist length, jet black, shiny & sleek, it hangs not in dred locks but in curly strands, amazingly long. There’s something real sexy about this hair.

 

          *(SEXY HAIR: I am stumped. Calling on Mother God for help.

          She: It’s the way he THINKS, his personality that comes from his thoughts & feelings, his mindset. You found this extremely sexy.)*

 

          His arms are exposed, they are totally covered with tattoos, very attractive—his arms seem muscular. He’s wearing large sunglasses, wrap around, they cover much of his face so I can’t see too much of that.

 

          *(ARMS TATTOOS, MUSCULAR ATTRACTIVE: Stumped again, Mother God.

 

          She: Tattoos are pictures, messages. Again, it’s the messages in his ‘arms of love,’ his desire for you – one of those guys who ‘talks with his hands.’ Arms as you know are the strength to love, hands are giving of it.)*

 

          This revelation surprises me. Then I see the man standing strangely looking with his back to the main street, he’s across the alley looking what to him is straight, to me is left. He’s doing NOTHING, just standing with maybe his hands in pockets, just a plain standing, nothing happening. His body is covered by sort of strange clothes with some sort of head covering. Colors are brown, the shirt is tucked into his pants.

 

          I call to him & he comes over to me. I want to see what he looks like. My contact with this man has been emotional & now it gets moreso when I see his state.

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          He has on a MASK & he moves the mask to show me his face & somehow, THERE IS NO FACE. This is hard to describe but I now realize something really serious happened to this man – an accident that left him in a gruesome state, his body is greatly injured & I say,

 

          “You have NO FACE!”

 

          *(ALLEY BEHIND MY WINDOW: I know this is John as he called for me there.

 

          NO FACE: But now he has ‘lost face’ which means his self esteem is TOTALLY GONE by my not being there, ignoring him, not looking for him at all. His state is GREUSOME.

 

THE MASK: His pretense, ‘Oh yes, I’m the great pretender, pretending that you’re still around. Lyrics to ‘The Great Pretender’:

 

Oh yes, I’m the great pretender
Pretending that I’m doing well
My need is such; I pretend too much
I’m lonely but no one can tell.

 

Oh yes, I’m the great pretender
A drift in a world of my own
I play the game; but to my real shame
You’ve let me to dream all alone.

 

Too real is this feeling of make believe
Too real when I feel what my heart can’t conceal.

Oh yes I’m the great pretender
Just laughing and gay like a clown

I seem to be what I’m not; you see
I’m wearing my heart like a crown
Pretending that you’re still around.

 

Too real is this… )*

 

          We are communicating for a while, then he takes off the mask again & shows me how he looked once upon a time. It’s an intermediate state – before he lost his face but after the trauma, not his best but when he still had a face.

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          His left eye is lost, it’s whited over, his skin is swarthy, his hair is thick black, wavy & rugged—there are creases on his face & his face is sort of wide & his cheeks round—he looks like he’s been through a lot. I say,

 

          “Oh, I see you were once handsome.”

 

          *(SWARTHY FACE: Someone who’s been through a lot, like a sailor who was almost shipwrecked, swarthiness could be SUNBURN which says ‘pain.’

 

          This might refer to a time in the past when I told him ‘no more sex until the relationship.’

 

          He took revenge on me by eventually having a relationship with another female that’s been dragging on for years {but in some way is now over}. He wanted it both ways when he lured me back to sex, but now I’ve cut him off he is the one with ‘no face.’)*

 

          He’s satisfied that I said that.

 

          *(ONCE HANDSOME: He was once in a better state, but he was HALF BLIND, or unaware of something.)*

 

          Another scene:   I’m at my apt in B’klyn & this same man is here but now not as damaged. Somehow he’s partially healed – he even smiles a lot. I know it’s him by that whited eye, but his face looks much better, his body seems normal.

 

          *(EYE STILL WHITED: He still doesn’t see or understand why I am not trying to contact him.)*

 

          My Dad is here also & I tell both of them my SISTER HAS MOVED IN. I tell them that because both my Dad & this guy are now living with me. The man now wears a WIG made of all red braids, looks just like a mop or a RAG DOLL wig. The wig somehow hides his head injuries, wounds or scars.

 

          *(MAN SMILING-NOW IN MY APT WITH DAD: This is John in an improved state, suffering, but hoping for union or marriage with me. It gives him comfort, but there is still something he doesn’t understand.)*

 

          Another scene: I am in a different location & am LECTURING on a certain point. People are all around listening to me. Then one of my associates to the right – a female I think, tells me,

 

          “There is a group of homeless young males wanting to come in.”

Kellie-Everts-photographed-by-Edmund-Leja-01 (1) Kellie-Everts-photographed-by-Edmund-Leja-02 (1) Kellie-Everts-photographed-by-Edmund-Leja-03 (1) Kellie-Everts-photographed-by-Edmund-Leja-05 (1) Kellie-Everts-photographed-by-Edmund-Leja-06 (1) 

          *(HOMELESS YOUNG MALES: I sense this is my lover John, who is the same guy on the motorcycle with ‘no face,’ but he is comforted by accessing me somehow. The other boys are basically just saying ‘guys like him’ also access me this way – it’s my speaking videos on You Tube.)*

 

          I say,

          “Let them in.”

 

          When they enter I tell them to take seats.

 

          They enter the room to the right, which has a green Christmas tree there, covered with real red poinsettias. They play with the poinsettias, scattering them about. They are delighted that I allowed them in, gave them shelter. They were homeless indeed.

 

          *(XMAS TREE WITH POINSETTIAS: This sounds like my lover John accessed my speaking videos, where I make ‘points’ – I preach, teach & explain. This alleviated his suffering, as he can access me this way. He can see me, hear me & get my stories & teachings. So he is getting a lot out of this, it’s like Christmas to him.

 

          HOMELESS: Is when a person is lost, has no center or place of protection & security. This seeing me in videos made him feel he was with me.)*

 

          The group of them looks underprivileged, small in size like runts. One boy’s face I see clearly, his nose is peculiar, reminds me of an animal I have seen, he looks comical. Sort of a pyramid shape, hard to explain.

 Kellie-Everts-photographed-by-Edmund-Leja-07 (1) Kellie-Everts-photographed-by-Edmund-Leja-08 (1) Kellie-Everts-photographed-by-Edmund-Leja-09 (1) Kellie-Everts-photographed-by-Edmund-Leja-10 (1) Kellie-Everts-photographed-by-Edmund-Leja-11 (1)

          *(PYRAMID NOSE: It’s John getting ‘to me’ through my videos. Why is he looking like this – a runt – & comical face with pyramid nose?

 

          She: He’s your son, your child, he realizes that now so he is ‘humbled’ & appears like a ‘runt.’ The pyramid nose – the nose is a SENSE, smelling, tasting, sensing is like ESP, his inner sense brings him to you – recognizes some reality he might not have seen before, the meaning of your relationship. Prior to this he was on a ‘high horse,’ a ‘pedestal’ with you. Now no chasing, he sees he’s your little child. You have asserted your dominance over him. The

 

          PYRAMID: is a sign of perfection, so he is seeing THE TRUTH.)*

 

          What was so unusual is at this moment of my loneliness & isolation he drove up here & comforted me with his warmth—there is great sexual meaning here but it’s nothing gross or crude, it’s spiritual as well – like an angel appearing from Heaven to comfort me.

 

          *(COMFORT, SEXUAL & SPIRITUAL MEANING: We had sex, but our exchange contained love & spiritual depth.)*

 

          I look at the traction his motorcycle left on the ground in this alley – deep furrows – it’s been raining, the ground is black, the furrows are deep, as if a motorcycle had been here several times.

 

          *(BLACK FURROWS: He was here several times looking for me.

 

          IT RAINED: tears or sorrow, that I wasn’t there.)*

 

          But then his motorcycle is empty & it isn’t what I thought it was at all – it’s a walker with wheels, the kind Rudy (a disabled friend) has – it’s a vehicle for a DISABLED person with a black vinyl seat. This isn’t sexy at all.

 

         *(OVERALL MEANING: This explains how devastated John has been by my absence, but something has given him a lift, not sure what. His hopes are up & he feels things will improve.

 

DISABLED VEHICLE: He was disabled or unable to achieve his goal – couldn’t get to where he wanted.)*

 

Kellie-Everts-photographed-by-Edmund-Leja-12 (1) Kellie-Everts-photographed-by-Edmund-Leja-13 (1) Kellie-Everts-photographed-by-Edmund-Leja-14 (1) Kellie-Everts-photographed-by-Edmund-Leja-15 (1) Kellie-Everts-photographed-by-Edmund-Leja-16 (1) Kellie-Everts-photographed-by-Edmund-Leja-17 (1)

………………………………………………………….

 

6-17-20-I STOP MAN SUICIDE

 

          I’m in my apt in B’klyn when I see a man, dressed in a classical grey suit with white shirt, maybe a tie, looks professional – this man is at my bedroom window & halfway out to jump 6 floors down, commit suicide.

 

          He’s already halfway out when I grab him & pull him back, then I have him lying in my arms & look at his face. His right eye is looking down to the left corner, like down to the middle of his body, while his left eye is somewhere else.

 

         *(SUICIDAL MAN: This is John the lover, who is

 

          GREY SUIT: mentally {grey is usually brain matter/mind} out of his mind & is halfway to killing himself because

 

          EYES 2 WAYS: he can’t see straight, which means understand something. Could be because

 

          MY BEDROOM: I am no longer making myself available to him for intimacy/sex – this is driving him crazy, he can’t understand it & is desperate for my love. He once had a

 

          WINDOW: of opportunity at my bedroom/window. He can’t understand what’s happened. I’m having multiple dreams about his confusion & misery.

 

          PROFESSIONAL ATTIRE, WHITE SHIRT, MAYBE TIE: The white shirt hints at marriage, the tie, something formal. He considered us a married couple although he didn’t publicly announce me.

 

          MY SAVING HIM: He hasn’t lost hope, however, something I do or have done brings him back to hope.)*

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……………………………………………………………

 

6-16-20-I BLOCK MY GOD SELF

 

          (Great lesson in this. God does not enter us or find union with us AGAINST OUR WILL. The famous pic of Jesus knocking at the door shows no HANDLE on the outside, the person must open the door for him to enter.)

 

          I’m with my daughter in the old farmhouse, in my bedroom.

 

          She’s AVOIDING me. I look for her – she has gone beyond our bro’s room, which joins ours, & is in the hall talking with a man, whispering. She has the room door closed with a thick fleece sheet, might be pink & blue, & she has made a room of the space of the hall—not a good area but she wants to escape me.

 

          *(SHEET OVER DOOR: There is what they call a VEIL between God & ourselves, my flesh for a while went to her own side – lost the intimate contact with me.)*

 

          Then it gets even worse, she’s in Mario’s room & I hear her talking with what sounds like a black man with a deep voice—they are speaking low so I can’t hear them.

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          *(MARIO’S ROOM: This is the key to WHY she lost contact with me – her God self – the worry or fear of losing HENRY, her lover. Mario’s room always represents separation from the man who is loved.)*

 

          Then I see my daughter standing by a wall, perhaps looking out the window, in a robe. She young, like a pre-teen.

 

          I go to her & try to befriend her, get close, but she repels me. I am a great energy, I try to get close but her force field repels me, (I feel it strongly as I try to move close) I cannot get within two feet of her. I cry out,

 

          “I AM GOD!”

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          But she mutters that this (me) is Satan.

 

          *(GOD VS SATAN: In my human self, at this time the dream says my doubts & fears over the lover ousted the Great God within me – I left God as I entered into this negative thoughts, lost faith in HER temporarily.)*

 

          I am wearing a diaphanous mint-colored robe, it seems to be made of sort of clouds, & I’m holding it open as I try to come close to her but can’t.

 

 

…………………………………………………………

 

6-20-20-SAINT & ANGELS COME TO MY AID

 

          I was greatly troubled during the night, nightmarish fears of the multiple obligations before me. I called out again & again to the saints & angels to help me.

 

          I then went into a deep sleep & people & my past animals began to appear to me, all in a friendly manner.

 

          A female across the street came to visit, & she brought with her many boys, all of whom circled some sort of lawn-island in front of my house – all the boys were wearing black, some had on hats Indiana Jones style with some kind of small reeds on them (like straws) – all were around 12-13, really boys, not young men. It seems they belonged to her somehow, like they were Boy Scouts & she was their leader, & they are here for my benefit – not sure what they’re doing but they are here to comfort me, & feel better.

 

          *(NEIGHBOR LADY: Symbol of Mother God – could be Holy Virgin, seems like her. She brings to me

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          BOY SCOUTS: dead men who are my sons or clients, who I helped out of Purgatory, now come to my assistance. The

 

          STRAW or REEDS, {one in each hat}: represents ‘dead’ because you get straw only after the wheat dies, & their

          BLACK CLOTHING: says ‘funeral’ or they are the dead & their activity,

 

          DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY’RE DOING, JUST STANDING THERE: Is when people visit you just to show they are your friends, there is no ulterior motive, like they are not your employees, not looking for anything other than to support you.

 

          Then another female comes, then another. I’m confused as I don’t know who they are or why they’re visiting. I say,

 

          “Is this visit your neighbor day?”

 

          *(NEIGHBOR LADIES: These are the ‘angels & saints’ I called for just simply visiting me, no motive except to show their love.)*

 

          Then someone suggests we go inside. I am reluctant as everything is not perfect, like all in order. But as I look around the rooms are large, nicely furnished, I see an oriental rug in one room, mostly blue, the rooms are dark & kind of cool – inviting. The floors might be black lacquered wood.

 

          On a couch there are two men visiting me – don’t even know who they are. Then yet a third man appears sitting on the couch – all these people just appear – & he’s strikingly handsome with honey blonde hair – He puts his hand for me to shake, I do so in a warm manner. He has a strong look of love on his face. He’s wearing an attractive suit, a true green color & embossed on it are the same color checkers – like ‘tic tac toe’ checkers – I’ve never seen a material or suit like this. I am to the back of the couch; he’s sitting in it as he greets me.

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          *(MAN IN GREEN SUIT: This is either a saint from Heaven, who was martyred or someone on earth who has or is experiencing martyrdom. It might be my Beloved Husband who I have not been with for almost a year, he seeks to visit & comfort me. The

 

          TRUE GREEN SUIT: Might be saying ‘he’s one of the living.’ The WARMTH of our hands touching, reminds me of the dream of the biker who gave me his hand to comfort me, then he showed me he had NO FACE.

His hair & also look of love – when I saw him I felt an emotion I didn’t feel from the other men which again says ‘this is your Beloved.’

 

TWO MEN: This dream is filled with people I say I don’t know. Maybe I don’t, maybe I know some of them. These might be saints or angels.)*

 

          Then I want to introduce my dogs to them. I go to a further room & there on the floor lies GaGee Boy – except he doesn’t look like GaGee Boy – he is much smaller, like a chubby tiger cat, maybe 40 lbs, real cute, I pet him lovingly, his fur is so thick & pleasant to touch.

 

          *(WHO IS GAGEE BOY:         MomGod, stumped.

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          She: Gagee Boy is you in your dealing with John. You were the ‘big dog’ that scared him & some of his friends. You’re no longer scaring them as you’re not around, your ‘ferocity’, shown here as a ‘tiger’ has diminished, you are ‘dormant’ in the relationship or ‘lying down’ being petted like a tame cat.)*

 

          Then I look for Fruitcake, who I loved so much & who was so loving & suffered so much. Someone put him into a ‘dog house’ made of material like a stove or fridge, I bend down, the door to him is closed. (Door closed, he was confined.)

 

          This house is equipped with birdseed, packets of it like with millet, & there’s this European white cheese, a cheese with a skin—I dislike it, & I have said ‘no one wants millet, not even the birds, that’s why it’s cheap.’ I see many servings of this cheese on plates, but they are packaged to give him periodically – like this house is some sort of prison where all is provided but freedom & the outdoors – food, fresh air piped in. But to my alarm way back in this house are canisters with ice, I fear does this make his house way too cold? But then I see he has some sort of system in the back of this house which blows in fresh air {this is a hint where John lives the place has a back yard, another clue it’s John}. I don’t like his confinement, I have opened the door to this house & I encourage him to come out, & I see him halfway out. {—I’m beginning to get him out of it—must be my God Self as I’m doing nothing.}

 

          *(FRUITCAKE – SOMEONE PUT HIM IN THIS DOG HOUSE: This was hard to decipher but I think I got it. When you ‘put someone in the dog house’ it’s usually your husband who’s out of favor.

         

          Fruitcake again represents lover ‘John.’ He’s in a ‘dog house’ an appliance like a refrigerator where I look DEEP INSIDE & see canisters of ICE & have great fear it’s TOO COLD in there. This is our relationship ‘on ice’ or on hold—it is not active or warm.

 

          The food – is the emotional nutrition he’s getting. It’s terrible. This love/sex does not satisfy his HEART.

 

          The CHEESE is the sex as ‘cheesecake’ represents sexiness in a woman. This sex is the birdseed/millet nasty cheese food. After all, having sex with someone you don’t love is totally different than doing it with the one you love.

 

          His BODY is getting all that he needs – a house, food/sex, air, etc. but he is imprisoned, confined.

          In other words, you’re in a relationship where you have a roof over your head, the air you breath, food & sex, but you are not free to be HAPPY WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE.

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          Fruitcake is John & I am HALFWAY RELEASING HIM. I have no idea how I’m doing this unless he’s getting psychic messages.

 

MomGod, what do these two disclosures have to do with a dream where I’m calling for help?

 

She: This is explaining that your underlying pain is not the problems you face in life right now, but your separation from John. This is making you feel lonely, insecure & isolated – the same way he feels as the ‘man with no face’ & the ‘homeless boy.’

 

When people are separated from the person they love most in the world, they feel all alone, abandoned & even afraid.

 

Everyone in this dream is those who love you – either on earth or not. He’s one of the people on earth.)*  

 

4ke1rh1snp7y 5_original 5a3942050177dbe8a3c00d8238441940 5b8f4ca8916661d1c4310bed5e1b76b0 5bdcfafb9d344f11e4fcf8480a2198ce--most-popular-mice 5d3ba06052bcc90b575f53b5dc223a2e 5j01z 6a00e554e97d5c883401b8d0d0db9e970c

 

 

 

         

 

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

CLAIM SACRED MARRIAGE

rBVaSltMRcaAdURkAAcpX-NgV7Q633 rBVaSltMYgaAewgxAAORhhE8aWM602 rBVaSVtMUUWAOHhcAAk9NyiRB70610

HIS LIFE WITH THE OTHER GIRL IS OVER—OUR SPIRITUAL

RELATIONSHIP IS SAFE

 

6-1-20-THE AMAZING WHITE COAT-ROBE

 

          Interpreted for a friend

 Prince_Florimund_finds_the_Sleeping_Beauty_-_Project_Gutenberg_etext_19993 Radiated Soundscapes EP rBVaR1tMQseAPlU_AAbPyJxf1n8186 rBVaSFtMFT2ANR39AAYN4mkBMLs316 photo-1570105381636-78bee6ec04c2 photo-1570122734014-386e3ef867cc photo-1570195937949-8357635447ee photo-1570197185256-0ff91d1bd79f photo-1570215779942-7514932a7e94

          There was a person who died & left all their belongings to someone & the things were all sitting around waiting to be claimed. I don’t see anyone claiming anything, & no one knew what was here.

 

          I go look at things & one thing catches my eye: A white COAT. It looks like white material in a pile, like the softest of Cashmere, softer than soft.

 

          I go to that pile of material on the edge of the belongings & put it around me & it’s a COAT-CAPE, so voluminous & luxurious it would go around two people. It also has some kind of thick, wide soft collar made of a material that is unfamiliar – the closest thing would be the softest ostrich or feathers. It is PRECIOUS – I want it, & so I take it, although somehow the estate was not left to me, but I have to STEAL this coat. I am not a thief, but now I MUST HAVE THIS.

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          I take it & fold it inside out, where the white satiny lining has some decoration with soft like watercolor streaks in blue & green. As I carry the coat like this, no one will recognize it as that white coat, stop me or try to interfere with my having it.

…………………………………………………….

 

          MEANING: This hearkens to only one thing, the symbol of the spiritual wedding between Lover Bob & myself. When we were united in the Sacrament of Love, God showed me one piece of white cloth, which I knew had been two pieces but was now only one with NO SEAM. It had a soft, small victory wreath of white laurel on it, to show we had been victorious; we were united in Matrimony against all odds.

 

          This seems to be saying that the female of Bob has left the relationship – which can be called ‘dying.’ I am not interested in anything of hers or theirs together, only one thing is mine, although it seems like I’m stealing it – my RELATIONSHIP WITH BOB.

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          In this dream I am claiming our relationship. And I might add – no one else is claiming nor can they claim this, as no one else has been joined by God to him but me.

 

          Holding the coat inside out where the blue/green streaks will disguise it, no one will interfere is what, Mother God?

 

          This union is Sacred & Secret, & you want no one to interfere. So it is hidden in the interior, the way God is. And so, this relationship is SAFE. People only see bodies, things, they do not see God or mystical relationships.

 

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College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

INTIMATE DREAMS

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Four dreams. One shows the results of a huge forgiveness yesterday. The other shows my lover has greatly evolved spiritually, he’s leaving his present female & loves me truly. Fourth dream again underscores his evolution.

 

5-30-20-BIG LOVE ALL AROUND-MUSLIMS-LOVER APPEARS

 

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          I’m in a place where there are two small boys – like 5-6 years old. They seem to be somehow ‘bundled up’ in clothing & their bodies seem ‘round’ like cocoons, the cloth they are in is soft & medium-dark, many layers.

 

          The family of the boys is all around, we are on a platform of sorts. I put out my hand to them to shake – somehow my hand is huge, like a cradle. But they cannot shake my hand, & I then realize it’s not a Muslim custom—they are Muslims & restricted in many actions compared to us.

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          *(MUSLIMS: Not sure if this is literally referring to Muslim devotees I have had or these are devotees of different religions than Christian that I am being reconciled with.

 

          HAND OUT LIKE CRADLE: My hand is offered to them is my LOVE – the love OF A MOTHER offers someone a CRADLE OF COMFORT.

 

          BUNDLED LIKE COCOONS: These are people who have not yet possibly been BORN AGAIN, they have not turned into butterflies, are still the chrysalis, the bug in the cocoon before they are released. The many

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          LAYERS surrounding them, like swaddling clothes, are the layers of the world & flesh, consisting of thoughts, feelings & connections to it. This must be broken through to get BORN AGAIN.)*

 

          One of the boys says to me,

 

          “I just want to hug you & kiss you.”

 

          Somehow they are not allowed to hug & kiss me, but I hug them anyway. One of them places his hand on my left breast. I know it’s the gesture of an innocent child, but I must take his hand off because someone might accuse me of a wrong.

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          *(HUG THEM, ONE PUTS HAND ON BREAST: As a result of my prayers, these ‘backslidden’ disciples have reached out to me– after I reached out to them in love {without realizing it} & indeed, they are innocent children of God. They want & need a real Mother’s love.)*

 

          Then something happens. I do a demonstration. I ascend into the air so high – like 100, 200, 500’. At that level I come upon a Heavenly or God-made frame for a building, the frame is made of very thick planks. This might be like a ‘resting place’ for me high up here.

 

          Amazingly, several women ascend into the air with me – they are spiritually advanced. Some of them go up halfway but can’t go higher & descend.

 ai9yoqd1jmzz amBRoD2_460s Anna Nicole Anna_Nicole_Smith_4

          One woman is interesting – I think I knew her in life, she’s gleeful to ascend with me high up. She’s thin, her face & body has creases, not wrinkles, like striated, I think she wears red, a revealing summer dress. She is beaming with joy that she could ascend with me, but then she sinks back down after about 300’—but I was impressed that these women rose into the Heavenly realms with me. It’s the first time in my life I’ve had such an incident – never had anyone rise with me before.

 

          I wanted to impress or do this demonstration for the Muslim family, but unfortunately, when I come back down – they are all gone. They might not have seen me ascend at all. I wanted to show them my spiritual power.

 

         *(THEY ARE GONE: My ‘Muslim’ disciples are now gone, they no longer see or receive my spiritual power—even though we are forgiven both ways for our breakups. Forgiveness & love does not always unite us with those we have parted from.)*

 

          MEANING: This is a result of the prayers I did last night. One of my friends hurt me & made me angry. I was saying the law of karma will get her back.

 

          Then I decided to forgive her. I didn’t feel like it but I said a righteous prayer that should be remembered:

 

          “It is my will that the person who hurt me will be forgiven, as if she never hurt me at all. I want no punishment or bad karma to come against her because of me. Count her ‘not guilty.’

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          I then proceeded as I do periodically to forgive anyone/everyone who ever hurt me & added to that I accept from anyone I ever hurt their forgiveness.”

 

          I repeated this prayer many times before I fell asleep, & this is the result. There was reconciliation with people – sharing of love, the blocks of un-forgiveness being removed.

 

          The Muslims—my hand extended to them like a cradle is the CRADLE OF LOVE & these two guys FEEL LOVE FOR ME LIKE SONS FOR THEIR MOM—they might be former disciples.

 

         The females, the main one could have been the one I forgave. She rose up with me partway – she has suffered greatly in the last ten years & it’s brought her much closer to God. If this is her, my prayer made her extremely happy.

 

          What was the huge-beamed foundation high up in the sky? Perhaps my home that God has started to build. Since only these planks were up this might be a sign saying I do have some time left to live. I’m not always certain as I’ve had heart trouble & been sick lately – always think death could be around the corner when I’m sick – so God might be reassuring me.

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……………………………………………………….

Jayne Mansfield, Pam Grier & myself (in our prime) are to me the ideal bodies.  Anna Nicole Smith was next after that, the implants spoil some of it as the first three are ‘natural’ – but of course Anna’s face was really pretty.  I would default Anna on legs, they were not as perfect as Jayne’s & mine. We had/have ‘Betty Grable legs,’ they must be STRAIGHT.  Both Jane & I had/have thin, firm, small thighs & straight legs with beautiful feet.  Yes I have seen images of her feet, mine are beautiful also. Below, look at Betty Grable’s legs:

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Betty Grable's Legs

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Upon further study ANITA EKBERG stands out, with everything gorgeous including legs, straight legs.  Betty Grable was most famous for her legs, the rest of her body is not outstanding, but thin & lovely.  Her legs more or less ‘cut the standard,’ in that they are thin but SHAPELY, not toothpicks.  Of course there have been & are numerous all over the world – Hollywood, everywhere – women with terrific bodies, good legs, but I’m speaking of the ones I’m most familiar with {famous women I can get pictures of} & I include the legs as an important measure of perfection–there are many women with great bodies like Anna Nicole Smith, but their legs are not as perfect  as the ‘Betty Grable’ model.  Below, see Anita Ekberg:

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With implants today many women have great breasts, so that’s an advantage.  In the old days they didn’t have much except nasal surgery & I suspect stars like Marlene Dietrich {also known for her legs} & Mae West had beautiful noses by surgery.  Zsa Zsa & Eva Gabor had their noses fixed {& their sis who isn’t famous, & their Mom.  I met the surgeon who did the Mom.} 

Below the legs of Marlene Dietrich.  Look at her small, tight thighs, the straightness but curviness of the legs.  Toothpicks are not sexy:

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5-30-20-GLAM-BOY PERRY IN LOVE WITH ME

 

          I was sitting some place with my bare legs up on something, doing something with them—don’t know what, when this super handsome, sexy muscular boy Perry comes up to me out of nowhere, from the right side, & he is madly attracted to me.

 

          *(PERRY: This glamorous boy has always rejected me – have known him for years. For him to suddenly change his mind & desire me like this is simply an indication of the lover coming to his senses.)*

 

          This takes me by surprise as he’s never liked me before & rejects me when I try to get friendly.

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          He embraces & kisses me numerous times, it gets more & more intimate. He has some sort of black hair growing on is it his legs? That is so thick, it’s like curly fur, long, curls on the end, sleek & shiny, & I have the exact same hair on my legs he takes note. He says something about it & I say,

 

          *(THICK BLACK CURLY HAIR ON LEGS: This is a great & sure sign of spiritual growth {the hair} with mystical ability to travel or get some through energy or metaphysical. LEGS mean the strength of that, hair would mean the extra growth there or evolution. This is extreme growth – part of it is 6” long & as thick & glossy as fur, jet black.

 

          This hair shows an amazing increase in lover’s spiritual growth—he’s become like me, that is why in the other dream he appears as my son & devoted disciple. He has merged into me, I into him the way the new disciple, Shiva, says he wants to merge with me. {This happens with gurus & their disciples.})*

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          “But I don’t have that type hair on my vagina any more – half of it has turned grey.”

 

          *(NO MORE ON VAGINA: No more sex or I’ve been celibate.)*

 

          We go back to kissing & there are some special kind of kisses I give him on his face, like licking his face a certain way, which finally the public notices, & when they do, they interfere. People don’t want him to be with me, like it’s outrageous or a scandal.

 

          *(SCANDAL: Not sure if this is the past, how they bothered him, or the present if he’s telling anyone about me. It’s in their minds for sure.)*

 

          Can’t recall what happens except we did not like their attitude

.…………………………………………………………

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5-29-20-NEW DISCIPLE-SON STRUGGLES TO LEAVE A FEMALE (This represents the diehard lover, the new disciple is but a symbol)

 

          I first thought this was about my new disciple who appears often as a nice guy with black glasses {he’s newly devoted to me as a spiritual son, you might say ‘obsessed’ in a good way} – & I was unable to type it out, but am recording it now as it’s about my lover.

 

          *(SPIRITUAL SON: This is your lover in the persona of this new disciple, who is devoted, to show that the lover now realizes he is your spiritual son, you his mother, & something will happen today to indicate he wants to come to you soon—you are not aware of this event at the time of dreaming, it’s psychic.)*

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          I see this man with the black rimmed glasses & he’s living in my bedroom at the old farm house. I see a silver vase with plants in the window, sort of tucked into the curtains; I see & feel the familiarity of that home.

 

          The vase might mean something. It’s in the shape of a V, thin, I had not attended to it for a long time & felt what was in it might be dead for lack of water. It’s kind of attached to the ‘curtain,’ not standing by itself, in the front window. Inside are like soft thick-leafed plants, don’t know what kind.

 

          *(THE VASE: You bet it’s significant. The V shape first of all is

 

          V: for ‘VICTORY.’ Second, it’s position

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          IN THE WINDOW: This is a ‘window of opportunity’ which means an improvement, a chance or change for something better, it ends a previous relationship, here shown as ‘Gina’ & him, & will begin yours.

 

          A CURTAIN, ATTACHED TO: In between two curtains, attached, this opportunity or chance is attached or connected– curtains, it signifies the end of this other relationship, as when a play, an act, a show is over, it’s ‘curtains.’ When someone leaves you it’s ‘curtains.

 

          GINA: Was a model who was demon-possessed & also mentally ill. I did exorcisms & removed her demons, but could not help with the mental illness. I think she went crazy from having abortions every year.

 

          This model represents his relationship which this dream says he’s leaving. Why, could be anyone’s guess. Is she like Gina? Was she, is she crazy, possessed? Is she pregnant & wants an abortion?

 

          The vase being SILVER is a sign of the permanent relationship of myself & lover.

 

          The fact that it’s still filled with WATER, the PLANTS are alive, means the permanent relationship is still going to be, the water is life or grace, the plants are also the life of the two people in the affair – him & me.)*        

         

There’s a bed here covered with a black satin sheet with dust & tiny debri on it. ‘Gina’ – who lives here with that male – he’s leaving – tries to make him stay, but this guy I watch him getting into his car below the window – it’s black, & he says to her,

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*(GUY LEAVING: is your lover leaving the other lady.

He removed some of her details off social media today.

 

BLACK CAR: Funeral car, end of the relationship.

 

BED WITH BLACK SHEET: End of their sex life, either already ended or is ending now.)*

 

          “I have to go to work.”

 

          *(HAVE TO GO TO WORK: My inner sense was this was an excuse, he wanted to leave & used work as his reason. But he might not come back.)*

………………………………………………………..

 

DREAM EXPLAINS HOW LOVER GREW SPIRITUALLY OVER THE LAST YEARS

 

5-31-20-LOVER’S SPIRITUAL IMPROVEMENT

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          This dream I sense foretells the amazing improvement of my lover in his evolution, growth & attitude.

 

          I see a large insect like which I saved recently, like a dragonfly—the one I saved was tiny—this one is huge, maybe 6” or bigger, just like the tiny one.

 

          Next in my hands is a BIRD, as if the insect turned into a bird.

 

          Next I see this same creature turn into one of my most intimate dogs, a black terrier I named Baby – & she is standing on a shelf where I have the ‘family photo albums.’

 

          MEANING: This is the transition of my LOVER who when I first met him & dated him, he was a huge BUG or a person of LOW EVOLUTION. People like that of course ‘bug you’ a lot – they are troublesome, & he was.

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          Years have gone by. Next my lover turns into A BIRD. That means he’s FREE or BORN AGAIN. He can fly, he is free of the confines of limited time & space.

 

          Next he becomes my most intimate dog – Baby – who I found as a stray – she would sit in my lap in the car for hours while we drove back & forth to the city – 4 hours at a time.

 

          This says that my lover, in his heart & mind, is now my BABY or child, & has surrendered to me in love. There is no PHYSICAL indication of this – this just says what he is INSIDE.

 

          If these dreams reflect the truth he’s had a remarkable evolution. And this isn’t just about me – my flesh. It’s how he relates to the God within me – as I was sent to save him—the way Jesus was sent to save many of us. How we relate to our Guru is how we relate to God.

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………………………………………………………………    

College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

THE RASA DIET Chap 3

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Haha it’s Twiggy.  We still remember her from the 60′s

 

The RASA DIET—

LOST 8 LBS IN 9 DAYS—Below 160 for the first time in two

years 159.6 today – At last I have found the solution & it isn’t FAT. I ate fat

yesterday & lost 8 ounces.

 

5-23-20-159.6 TODAY!

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          Important: This is NOT A STARVATION DIET. But since you will not crave all the chemicals in the processed foods, your appetite/hunger will go down, you will eat less & that will help also.

 

          I am not urging starvation, IT ISN’T NECESSARY. Simply cutting out chemicals will lose weight.

kelliebw12 (1) 

Myself age 28, weight 127 after a year on a ‘fruitarian’ diet  {This is strictly the fruits of plants, sweet fruits, nuts, avocados, etc, does NOT include salad greens, leaves, & everything has to be RAW.  Without meaning to, planning it or understanding the concept, I had cut out all chemicals, but on top of that this is a STARVATION DIET.  Put those two items together & you are GUARANTEED THIN-NESS.  This diet is so hard you will suffer – starvation always is.  That is why I do not agree with starvation diets, they are too hard to endure, you can’t stand the hunger & will break down,  you will be frustrated, guilt-ridden & give up & join the club that says, ‘I accept myself as I am, fat & all, it’s meant to be’& the point is the chemicals hold weight more than does food – you will lose weight with the no-chemical diet even if you eat normal calories.  If you cut down calories it will be quicker.  But even if you don’t, you will lose weight.}-

-This was the first week in my life ‘on the road’ stripping – Kansas City, Kansas –

My body is as fine as was that of Jayne Mansfield & Pam Grier in her prime as you can agree.

 

          But two striking results of my diet are: my blood pressure has become normal for two days – I monitor it twice a day – I did not have to take any blood pressure meds yesterday or today so far, the top number has been between 119 & 138—it is the first time IN FOUR YEARS I did not have to take my blood pressure meds for two days  (toward the end of the 2nd day the blood pressure was still normal but my heart rate was 100 which is high, so I took a med because the bp med affects the heart rate as well). I have no idea why this would be except that salt & other chemicals made it high. Further study is needed. Don’t get rash & do anything like stop taking your meds – ask your doc or Big Nurse & be sure to get a blood pressure monitor if it’s high. 

Update, 5-25-20 – in the last week I only took my blood pressure med twice, usually it was once a day, sometimes twice a day.  I cannot prove the reason but believe it is ‘no chemicals – no salt especially.’

 

 Second, I AM NOT HUNGRY. I explained last chapter that stopping chemicals stops my hunger – & reasoned it’s because I crave the TASTE of the food – the body doesn’t need that much food.

 

          My diet yesterday was rice & shrimp. About 2 cups of rice cooked in high-fat chicken broth {my own, I boil chicken for cats & myself} with a package of tiny shrimps on top – not sure what the high-fat rice had, I might say 450 calories, the shrimp 250 calories. Once in a while I count the calories just for the heck of it – but it’s not about calories. So half was breakfast, half dinner – no other meals.

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          This is what processed food is turning us into

But add to that a good helping of cherries {did not taste right, too sweet other than that, not tasty, I gave the rest away to the wild animals} which might have been 300 calories, two servings of yogurt, about 220 calories, & other tidbits, say 200 calories more, total of entire day estimate around 1,500 calories. This is LESS than I’ve been eating but I had no hunger whatsoever.

 

          On this diet I eat yogurt any time I want {no artificial sweeteners, no lowfat yogurt}- fruits, salads any time as long as they do not have any commercial toppings – no salad dressings, no mayo, no nothing, just Potassium, maybe pepper & olive oil & vinegar {vinegar is extremely healthy.}

 

          In fact, we are allowed anything we are hungry for as long as it’s not out of a can, jar, package, box, processed, filled with salt, sugar {dextrose, high fructose corn sugar} preservatives, MSG, no GMO’s, no nothing we can’t understand the names of.

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        The late great Jayne Mansfield ‘The Girl Can’t Help It”

Just PLAIN FOOD: Plain meat; can be boiled, plain veggies, raw, steamed or boiled (not frozen as this has chemicals!) plain fruits, plain roots, plain greens. No commercial, packaged sauces, gravies, nothing prepared for you. You must make your own food, if you require gravies, sauces & dressings LEARN TO MAKE YOUR OWN {I am not expert, planning to try} using natural ingredients, Potassium, pepper, natural spices & natural foods.

 

          Regarding weight loss & to encourage it I take three 100 mg Potassium tablets daily. In future I will see if I can take more without getting cramps from dehydration. One must keep a balance between the salt & Potassium in the body – I get enough salt when I eat a sandwich as it’s in the bread {I wish it weren’t} & in yogurt as well {I know how to make yogurt from raw milk, it doesn’t have to have salt—we had a cow, I have bought raw milk & made yogurt & cottage cheese – they had made it illegal for us to buy raw milk.} So as I said, we need small amounts of salt – nothing like what we consume which turns us into balloons, but Potassium pushes out salt. Take Potassium, but don’t overdo it.

 

          I lost 7 lbs in the first 7 days, now it slightly diminished, 2 ounces yesterday, 8 ounces today. What’s wrong with that? For the first time in two years, I went below 160–159.6 today! Nine days ago I was 167.6 lbs!

          Good luck my friends. Do you want to be beautiful, shapely, sexy, desirable? Do you want the men to whistle at you, stare at you & ask you for dates? I do. That is a big part of my incentive. I want to feel good about myself, & being thin, shapely & beautiful helps. Everyone likes you when you’re like that – even women talk to you. When you get fat you are ‘passed over,’ no one whistles or goes out of their way to talk to you – it’s depressing! So don’t be depressed, get thin & beautiful & it’s easy without starvation, just STOP THE CHEMICALS!

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         Jayne Mansfield with the troops – Do you want to be loved by men?  Then stay thin & shapely.

Oh, BTW, this is irrelevant to the diet, but I lift weights. I was too tired the last couple weeks, but any day now will resume. That helps keep the body beautiful. Looking fit, not sagging, muscles strong is appealing. I am the foundress of female body building, awarded the title ‘Progenitor of Female Body Building.’

 

          Rasa Von Werder     5-23-20

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College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

REMEDY FOR FAT

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THE FAT EPIDEMIC -RASA BELIEVES SHE HAS FOUND THE CULPRIT-IT’S

CHEMICALS:

SALT, SUGAR & PRESERVATIVES–STOP EATING CHEMICALS–EAT PLAIN

FOOD FROM SCRATCH

FAT IN MEAT DOES NOT MAKE YOU FAT-

CHEMICALS RETAIN WATER

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5/18/20-THE RASA DIET –

NO CHEMICALS – HERE YOU WILL SEE IMAGES OF WOMEN WHEN THEY

WERE THIN/BEAUTIFUL

& WHEN THEY GOT OBESE – PICS OF MYSELF THIN, I HAVE NONE OF ME

FAT – PICS OF PAM

GRIER THIN & FAT, ANNA NICOLE SMITH THIN & FAT

XXX R M R

 

FRIENDS — YESTERDAY JUST BEFORE BED I ATE MY 2ND & LAST MEAL – TWO EGGS, COOKED IN WATER WITH LARGE TOMATO SLICES ON TWO MUFFINS.  THE MUFFINS ARE NOT ON MY DIET BUT I DIDN’T FEEL LIKE HEATING POTATOES/RICE AGAIN, JUST WANTED A QUICKIE.  I LOOKED AT THE PACKAGE & WITHOUT WANTING TO, INGESTED 240×2 GRAMS OF SALT, SO I TOOK IN 480 GRAMS OF SALT – 20% OF WHAT IS ‘REQUIRED’ ON AN AVERAGE DIET–JUST BY EATING TWO INNOCENT MUFFINS, NO BUTTER OR MAYO.  

 

 

THE PROOF IS IN THE PUDDING.  I AM EXPERIMENTING WITH MY THEORY & LISTENING TO THE OUTCOMES.  THE RESULT WAS I LOST 6 OUNCES THIS LAST DAY INSTEAD OF AN AVERAGE OF 1.5 LBS OR 24 OUNCES DAILY AVERAGE THE LAST 5 DAYS.  TWO INNOCENT MUFFINS SLOWED DOWN THE PROGRESS.  HOWEVER, I CAN’T COMPLAIN BECAUSE IN THE LAST 2 DAYS I WAS GETTING CRAMPS DURING THE NIGHT FOR LACK OF WATER, ALTHOUGH I WAS DRINKING AS MUCH AS I COULD STAND.  BUT I WAS GETTING DEHYDRATED.  AND SO ON THIS DAY I WAS NOT DEHYDRATED, WHICH IS A SIGN ALSO THAT SAYS,

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“YOU MIGHT SLOW DOWN THE PROCESS JUST A TAD BECAUSE DEHYDRATION IS DANGEROUS TO THE BODY, THE KIDNEYS & HEART ESP.”  (LEARNED THAT BY STUDY).

 

 

OK.  SO I AM PURPOSELY SLOWING DOWN THIS PROCESS INSTEAD OF 1.5 AVERAGE LBS A DAY TO ONE HALF TO A FULL LB A DAY, TO PREVENT DEHYDRATION.  AND I DO REALIZE NOW THAT MOST OF MY WEIGHT GAIN – PERHAPS  ALL OF IT – IS WATER BLOAT.  AGAIN, THIS IS MY THEORY.  I AM GOING TO PROVE OR DISPROVE IT BY PRACTICE.  AT THE END OF TWO MONTHS OR LESS IF I AM FAITHFUL TO THIS I WILL KNOW.

 

 

BTW I AM REGULARLY WATCHING ‘NAKED & AFRAID’  – HAVE SEEN MANY.  THE PEOPLE ARE OUT IN THE WILDERNESS FOR 21 DAYS WITH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING EXCEPT A COUPLE OF TOOLS – ONE TOOL EACH.  IF THEY LAST THE 21 DAYS, STARVING, {THEY HAVE TO HAVE WATER WHICH THEY DO FIND ONE WAY OR THE OTHER, USUALLY BOILING IT IF IT ISN’T SAFE – IF THEY HAVE A POT.  IF THEY DO NOT HAVE A POT THEY MUST BOIL IT INSIDE BAMBOO, IF THERE IS BAMBOO THERE! IF THERE IS NO BAMBOO, THEY DIG A HOLE CALLED AN INDIAN WELL, OR THEY STRAIN WATER THROUGH A BURLAP BAG OR OTHER MATERIALS} - 

 

THEY LOSE AN AVERAGE OF 20 TO 26 LBS IN 21 DAYS.   

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{MANY PEOPLE ‘TAP OUT’ – CONDITIONS ARE BRUTAL, THE MOSQUITOES OR SAND FLEAS BITE THEM EVERY INCH FROM HEAD TO TOE; THE FEAR OF DEADLY SNAKES, TARANTULAS, ALL SORTS KILLER ANIMALS, BUT WHAT I’VE SEEN THE MOST TAP OUT FROM IS DAYS OF UNRELENTING RAIN WHICH EXTINGUISHES THEIR FIRE, KEEPS THEM FROZEN, UNABLE TO LOOK FOR FOOD, DEPRESSES THEM, THEY ARE TOTALLY DEMORALIZED & QUIT} FROM WHAT I HAVE SEEN.

 

  ONE MAN, 49 YRS OLD, LOST 56 LBS IN 3 WEEKS – HE WAS NOT FAT HE SEEMED TO BE LESS THAN AVERAGE IN WEIGHT AT THE BEGINNING.  OF COURSE, THESE PEOPLE ARE STARVING.  THEY CAN ONLY FIND FOOD IT SEEMS, A DECENT AMOUNT, ONCE EVERY FEW DAYS – MAYBE ONE LARGE IGUANA AFTER 5 DAYS – MAYBE SOME SMALL FISH USUALLY – GRUBS OR TINY SHELLFISH OR CRABS & THE LIKE.  THEIR DIET IS A COMBINATION OF NO CHEMICALS & STARVATION.

 

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IN THE PAST, I HAVE EMPLOYED ONLY STARVATION TO BE ‘BEAUTY CONTEST THIN’. 

 

{BEAUTY CONTESTS I WON:  MS NUDE UNIVERSE, MS BODY BEAUTIFUL USA & MS AMERICANA BEST BODY TWICE, WON SECOND PLACE IN  THESE CONTESTS SEVERAL TIMES.}

 

  THIS DIET HERE IS NOT STARVATION; IT IS THE ‘NO CHEMICAL DIET’ OR THE ‘RASA DIET.’  {I WILL WRITE A REPORT & SPREAD IT SO HELP OTHERS} I AM NOT STARVING.  I CONTINUE TO CONSUME APPROX. TWO THOUSAND CALORIES A DAY – SOME DAYS LESS – I AM ONLY CUTTING OUT THE SALT, SUGAR, PRESERVATIVES, MSG’S & OTHER CHEMICALS IN MY DIET & YES, I AM TAKING POTASSIUM DAILY, EXTRA AMOUNTS, WHICH ASSIST IN PUSHING OUT WATER AS IT PUSHES OUT SALT.  AND YES, ALSO HAVE TO TAKE A DAILY ‘DIURETIC’ SINCE I GOT HEART CONGESTION FAILURE – I HAVE BEEN TAKING IT FOR THREE YEARS.  BUT THIS DIURETIC DID NOT GET RID OF ALL THE WATER I NEED TO REMOVE – I REMAINED A ‘BALLOON’ IN THE MIDDLE ONCE I STARTED EATING A ‘NORMAL’ DIET IN CALORIES, & ‘NORMAL’ IN CHEMICAL CONTENT.  TO ME, NORMAL DIET {WHAT THE AVERAGE AMERICAN EATS} MEANS ‘UGLY FAT.’ AND WHAT WE SEE AS FAT MIGHT BE JUST WATER BLOATING.

EXCLUSIVE: Anna Nicole Smith has secretly married for the third time 3ad8b764851d0edde8323c0e76244176 3cc85eff986ef02e580adb35a46cce78 

ANOTHER RESULT OF THIS DIET IS THAT MY BLOOD PRESSURE HAS GONE DOWN.  I SUFFER FROM HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE – BEEN HAVING IT SINCE MY BELOVED STOPPED TALKING TO ME 4 YEARS AGO – HYPERTENSION THAT EVENTUALLY LED TO CONGESTIVE HEART FAILURE.  IN THE LAST WEEK I TOOK LESS BLOOD PRESSURE MEDS THAN USUAL, MY PRESSURE GOT MUCH LOWER (I MONITOR IT.) FOR A WHILE IT WAS AT TIMES SKY HIGH.  NOW IT IS CLOSE TO NORMAL MUCH OF THE TIME.

 

  THEY SAY ‘DON’T EAT SALT’ BUT THEY DON’T EXPLAIN THE DETAILS–THEY WANT YOU TO BLINDLY FOLLOW THEM WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING.  I WAS TOLD ‘DON’T EAT SALT’ 4 YEARS AGO BY A NURSE.  I DIDN’T BELIEVE HER, I FELT ‘THE BODY NEEDS SALT – RIGHT NOW IT’S HOT, I SWEAT – PEOPLE PASS OUT WITHOUT ENOUGH SALT’ — I DID NOT CUT OUT SALT OR CHEMICAL-LADEN FOODS & I PAID THE PRICE.  SALT IS, TO ME – DEADLY.

 

 

HERE IS WHAT BOTHERS ME ABOUT PEOPLE WHO HAVE ADVISED ME IN THE PAST.  WHEN I WAS ON THE STARVATION DIET – 1K CALORIES A DAY FOR SIX MONTHS – I WAS THRILLED & DELIGHTED WITH THE RESULTS.  I LOOKED GORGEOUS.  EVERYWHERE I WENT, MEN WHISTLED & APPROACHED ME IN PARKING LOTS.  I WAS 137 LBS, THE WEIGHT I WAS WHEN WINNING CONTESTS – MY BODY SHAPE IS A MARVEL WHEN THIN.  (EVEN THOUGH IN OLD AGE I HAD LOST 1.5″ IN HEIGHT, 137 WAS STILL FANTASTIC.  MEN APPROACHED ME EVERYWHERE I WENT, MOSTLY PARKING LOTS {AS A PARKING LOT IS MORE PRIVATE THAN A STORE, THEY DO IT SNEAKY}. 

 

WOMEN APPROACHED ME TO ASK WHAT WAS MY SECRET.  WHEN I SAID ‘STARVATION’ THE ANSWER DID NOT SUIT THEM.  THE ATTENTION FELT CONSOLING, THAT ONCE AGAIN ‘I MATTERED.’  AS A ‘FAT WOMAN’ I HAD BEEN IGNORED BY MOST PEOPLE – THEY DIDN’T EVEN LOOK AT ME BECAUSE NOT ONLY WAS I OLD, BUT FAT.  BUT ONCE MY BODY WAS INCREDIBLE, MY AGE DIDN’T MATTER.)

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BUT MY SO-CALLED SINCERE FRIENDS – ALL OF THEM – YELLED AT ME EVERY TIME I MENTIONED IT, ’YOU ARE STARVING YOURSELF, YOU ARE HURTING YOURSELF & IT IS NOT HEALTHY.’

 

 

BECAUSE I AM A FOOL, I EVENTUALLY LISTENED TO THEM & LOST MY RESOLVE.  IT TAKES A LOT OF RESOLVE TO STAY ON THE STARVATION DIET.  AT NIGHT I WOULD YEARN FOR FOOD, EVEN DREAM ABOUT FOOD.  FINALLY THEY BROKE ME DOWN, I STARTED EATING 2K A DAY, STARTED GOING TO RESTAURANTS INSTEAD OF EATING PLAIN AT HOM, & WITHIN A YEAR & A HALF, I GAINED 30 LBS – FROM 137 TO 167.  AND FINALLY WHEN I REALIZED WHAT I HAD DONE, I HATED MYSELF.

 

I BEGAN TO COMPLAIN ABOUT MY WEIGHT TO MY FRIENDS, SAYING I WAS BAFFLED BY IT, HATED IT, COULDN’T LOSE IT.  NONE OF THESE SINCERE WELL WISHERS SAID ONE WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT, THEY DID NOT CARE.  THEY WERE NOT IN MY SKIN LOATHING MY FAT.  THEY ONLY INTERCEDED WHEN I WAS THIN & BEAUTIFUL, WHY DID THEY NOT INTERCEDE WHEN I WAS FAT & UGLY?  WHY WERE THEY NOW SILENT?  WHY DID THEY NOT ENCOURAGE ME, SAYING,

 

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“RASA, GO BACK TO THAT 1K DIET, YOU WERE HAPPY THEN.  IF YOU CAN STAND IT, YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL THIN.  TRY THAT DIET AGAIN AS LONG AS YOU EAT HEALTHY, EAT LESS.”

 

 

NOT A ONE – NOT ONE SAID ONE WORD.

 

 

IT REMINDS ME OF MANY YEARS AGO WHEN I WAS A ‘FRUITARIAN’ FOR ONE YEAR.  I WENT BELOW BEAUTY CONTEST WEIGHT – I WAS 127 LBS & LOOKED ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC.  PICTURES OF ME AT THAT WEIGHT ARE ON MY SITE ‘WOMAN THOU ART GOD’ UNDER GALLERIES, THE ‘GLAMOUR’ NOT THE BODY BUILDING PICS.  {THE BODY BUILDING PICS I WEIGH 147 – LOOKED GREAT FROM 2 HOURS OF RESISTANCE TRAINING DAILY 6 DAYS A WEEK FOR 3 MONTHS.}

 

THEN MY RELIGIOUS MENTOR, REV. VERNA TALBOT, HOUNDED ME ABOUT ‘BE NORMAL’ & SADLY, AFTER MONTHS OF HARASSMENT, I QUIT MY DIET, ATE NORMAL.  NORMAL MEANT NO MORE GORGEOUS, BEAUTIFUL PERFECTION.  DIRTY BITCH, WHY DIDN’T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU WERE JEALOUS.  I THINK ALL THESE FEMALES WHO ADVISE ME TO ‘EAT NORMAL’ ARE ON SOME LEVEL JEALOUS.  WISH THEY WERE THERE.  BECAUSE WHEN I CRY ABOUT FATNESS, THEY DON’T ENCOURAGE ME TO LOSE WEIGHT.  WHY?  THEY WANT ME TO BE FAT & UGLY SO THEY ARE NOT LOST IN THE SHADOWS–SOMEHOW MY PERFECTION HURTS THEM, MY LACK OF IT RELIEVES THEM.

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SO I AM FINISHED WITH MY STORY FOR THE DAY.  IN FACT, I START RIGHT NOW SHARING IT BECAUSE I WANT WOMEN TO KNOW: LOOK, HERE IS THE ANSWER.  IT’S ONLY A THEORY, BUT I WANT TO PROVE IT.  I BELIEVE IT’S THE CHEMICALS, THE PATRIARCHAL CHEMICALS THAT PATRIARCHAL COMPANIES ARE PUTTING INTO THE FOOD FOR THEIR OWN BENEFIT, NOT FOR OURS. 

 

I HAVE SOLVED THE MYSTERY.  FOR YEARS I WAS SAYING IT’S THE CHEMICALS.  BUT I DIDN’T FIGURE WHICH CHEMICALS, I THOUGHT MAYBE SECRET CHEMICALS. BUT IT’S RIGHT THEREON ‘INGREDIENTS.’  NOW I THINK I KNOW, I WILL PROVE IT.  IT IS:

 

 

          SALT, SUGAR {DEXTROSE, UNDER OTHER NAMES, & DO NOT EAT ARTIFICIAL SWEETENERS! SOME ARE TOXIC} PRESERVATIVES {MANY NAMES, LOOK UP THE INGREDIENTS}, MSG {LOOKOUT ALL CHINESE PLACES USE IT, ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO EAT CHINESE WITHOUT SALT & MSG, I ALWAYS USED TO TELL THEM NO SALT OR MSG & IT HELPED, BUT I STILL THINK IT HAS SOME IN IT WHEN I ASK, AS THE ORIGINAL INGREDIENTS THEY PURCHASE HAVE SOME CHEMICALS} & ANY KIND OF SUSPICIOUS CHEMICALS THAT YOU MUST AVOID BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY ARE – THEY ARE PROBABLY MASKS FOR WHAT’S NOT GOOD FOR YOU, MAINLY PRESERVATIVES.

 

 

 REMEMBER, THEY PUT A PRESERVATIVE OF MERCURY INTO VACCINES UNDER THE NAME ‘THIMEROSAL,’ & THIS GIVES AUTISM TO THE CHILDREN – THEY DON’T CARE – JUST TO KEEP THE VACCINE FRESH ON THE SHELF LONGER, THEY MAKE THE CHILDREN AUTISTIC.

 

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Thimerosal is a mercury-containing organic compound (an organomercurial). Since the 1930s, it has been widely used as a preservative in a number of biological and drug products, including many vaccines, to help prevent potentially life threatening contamination with harmful microbes.

 

DO YOU SEE MY POINT?  IF THEY DO THIS TO VACCINES & THE GOVT DOES NOT STOP IT, DO NOT TRUST THEM RE PRESERVATIVES IN THE FOOD!  THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN PROTECT YOURSELF FROM CHEMICALS IS NOT TO INJEST ANY OF THEM–OR KEEP THE FOOD WITH CHEMICALS TO A BARE MINIMUM, LIKE YESTERDAY I ATE TWO ORDINARY MUFFINS & GOT 480 GRAMS OF SALT WITHOUT WANTING TO.

 

ONE LAST NOTE:  NO MICROWAVES, THEY ARE RADIATION.  ONE MAN WHO STOOD WITH HIS BACK TO A MICROWAVE FOR EIGHT YEARS IN A RESTAURANT GOT MELANOMA CANCER ON HIS BACK & EVENTUALLY DIED.  A WOMAN WHO PREPARED FOOD IN A MICROWAVE DAILY, IT WAS THE LEVEL OF HER CHEST – GOT LUNG CANCER.  DO NOT STAND AROUND THEM, DO NOT INGEST FOOD HEATED IN THEM, THE FOOD MOLECULAR STRUCTURE IS CHANGED, EVEN WATER IS CHANGED. 

 

THEY EXPERIMENTED WITH PLANTS.  PLANTS WATERED WITH REGULAR WATER GREW NORMAL {DON’T DRINK MUNICIPAL TAP WATER; IT CONTAINS FLOURIDE, A RAT POISON & CHLORINE}.  PLANTS WATERED WITH MICROWAVED WATER WERE SMALL, GNARLY, UNDER PAR. 

 

WHEN I USED TO GO TO RESTAURANTS I ASKED THEM ‘IS THIS HEATED IN A MICROWAVE?’  IF THEY SAID YES, I SAID, ‘UNLESS YOU HEAT IT IN THE OVEN, DO NOT GIVE ME THIS FOOD.’  SOMETIMES THEY WOULD EXPLAIN THEY HAD TO HEAT IT, ETC.  AND I WOULD REBOUND, THEN IF YOU HAVE TO HEAT IT IN A MICROWAVE, I DO NOT WANT IT.  IT IS RADIATION.

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THAT’S IT FOR NOW; I WILL KEEP FOLKS AWARE OF MY PROGRESS.

 

RASA VON WERDER    5-18-20   FIFTH DAY OF THE ‘RASA DIET’ {NO CHEMICAL DIET} OR ALMOST NO CHEMICAL

 

 

AMAZING REVELATION – Chapter 2 – The ‘Rasa Diet’

 

5-21-20-THE CRAVING FOR FOOD IS IN YOUR MOUTH – NOT IN YOUR STOMACH – FROM THE CHEMICALS

 

          Since I began this diet but a week ago I notice that within a day or two I was no longer HUNGRY—real hungry like I was before. And because I was less hungry it was easy to eat less & because I ate less it helped lose weight.

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          I pondered as why would I be less hungry? The revelation came to me like the ring of a bell: The hunger was IN YOUR MOUTH – not IN YOUR STOMACH, not a real need for food your body tells you of, but the desire FOR THE TASTE of the chemically-laden food, where they use ingredients to make it taste better – the salt, sugar, & MSG.           {Please note in this diet you are allowed natural spices}.

 

          Now I understood what someone wrote, which was a mystery to me before, they said:

 

          “They put stuff in the food that makes you crave more of it, while saying they are helping you lose weight; they make you want more & more of it so you get fatter.

 

          All this so they can MAKE MORE MONEY – cause misery to you, more bucks to them – what do they care? It’s a ‘dog eat dog’ world – it’s a jungle where each creature seeks another to eat them up. They consume your wallet, they steal your resources, they don’t care about your health.

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          One big thing is DO NOT EAT ANY DIET FOODS OR DRINK DIET SODAS – they don’t help you lose weight, some of them are toxic – aspartame turns into methane gas in your body.

 

          Do not eat any foods that say ‘light’, ‘light-fit’ – anything that says ‘lite’ has fake sugars.

 

          Do not eat anything that says ‘low fat’ either. I cannot explain this but I have eaten low fat food & it doesn’t taste right. I don’t know what they do to it but avoid it. If it’s naturally low fat, like skim milk, it’s alright – I don’t know what they do to make regular foods low fat, but don’t trust them.

 

FAT WILL NOT MAKE YOU FAT – CHEMICALS DO.

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That is one of the BIG LIES I see in cook books. They put you on the starvation diet. I have one such book I got at the dollar store – they were selling cook books for $1. each – I bought fifteen. This book is by a famous female named ‘Jennie.’

 

All through her preface, the recipes & everything, it’s about low fat. This presumes you are eating so much fat, that’s why you’re fat. IT ISN’T TRUE. You did not get fat from fat, you go ‘fat’ or ‘water logged’ from salt, sugar, preservatives, MSG & other chemicals. Jennie probably doesn’t know these facts, she’s working under false premises, assumptions—many people are giving diet advice under assumptions –I am telling you the truth.

 

And so what is it you CRAVE, you wish for, you dream about? I was dreaming for those delicious deli-made peppers stuffed with meat & rice, covered with tomato sauce, the same dish with cabbage. I told myself the green peppers & cabbage are healthy, the rice is healthy, the tomatoes in sauce are healthy, the meat not sure about but overall, this is normal natural food – won’t hurt. I did not weigh the chemicals in my mind, not giving them much consideration.

 

The day I had the revelation it was the CHEMICALS I took all that cabbage & peppers & put it outside for the wild animals – & I have more to do to empty both my freezers & shelves of all the chemically-laden items. I will chuck them all & LEARN TO COOK MY OWN SAUCES, GRAVIES, SALAD DRESSINGS, etc. where I know they have no chemicals except POTASSIUM instead of salt {I use No-Salt} – healthy spices & so on.

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After all, my Mom was a chef, professional, at top restaurants & food manufacturers like Stouffers. When I lived with her up to age fifteen, she made all her food FROM SCRATCH WITHOUT CHEMICALS. She GREW IT first – in the country she had gardens filled with cucumbers, tomatoes, melons, strawberries, cabbage, lettuce, radishes, eggplants, peanuts – EVERYTHING.   We put salt on food if we wanted it, but she did not dredge the food with it. She even made home made desserts daily – none of us gained an ounce of fat. She made jellies, jams & preserves – from our own raspberries, lingonberries, peaches, apples, etc. yes, full of sugar but no other chemicals, & we did not gorge ourselves on these treats, time to time on sandwiches. She made apple pies from the tree next to the house. {Sadly she did not desire to teach me or the kids any of her culinary skills!} Of course we were kids but I believe an adult can stay thin on homemade food made from scratch, including desserts, because of the LACK OF FAKE CHEMICALS.

 

One thing all of us might want to think about: LEARN TO COOK!

 

Yes we have forgotten what our ancestors knew, even one or two generations ago – how to cook. My friend Ajax tells me the obesity epidemic STARTED in the 80’s. OK, started, but in the last five years I have noticed not only the women, but the men are getting obese. What’s the change?–Chemicals. What’s the solution? Stop eating their crap. I am eating PLAIN with just the No-Salt, maybe pepper, & going to LEARN TO COOK, make things like Mom used to make. If I don’t have time or inclination, just eat plain, plain fried eggs, plain boiled or baked meats, plain boiled or steamed veggies, plain everything.

original Pam in Foxy Brown Pam_Grier_DOFL 

It’s the chemicals that made me feel like I was STARVING, craving was in my mouth. It was the MEMORY OF THE TASTE, the stimulating delicious taste of things. As soon as the memory WORE OFF – within days in fact, I no longer craved the food. Keep this in mind: the memory of the taste of the food is an addiction. If you stop eating the chemicals, the addiction goes away, like anything else, for me it left within two days.

 

I might add this: I am eating yogurt, the most healthy kinds {don’t eat yogurt with artificial sweeteners, the sugar is better than artificial, & also btw, never touch soda, no kind of soda}, with little sodium or sugar, but it all has sodium, some have sugar. This diet does not say you have to eat ZERO chemicals because sodium is also INSIDE OF BREAD. I eat yogurt every day, a probiotic, because I need it FOR DIGESTION. And once in a while I eat a sandwich – & all bread has some sodium in it. I get the cleanest bread there is & it has some sodium. On my sandwich I put a thick slice of tomato, sometimes Romaine lettuce, an egg, with NO MAYO NO NOTHING just No-Salt. It tastes fine, mayo is not needed as the fresh ingredients make it juicy. {I also pick lots of dandelion leaves from my yard to put it into things. It’s free, organic & healthy. Instead of mowing it down, eat it. You can wash it, then dry it with a towel.}

 

Last note of the day: Diuretics are important. I noticed after I had congestive heart failure & was given diuretics how diuretics or lack of them could make my weight go up or down. If I took none – like maybe forgot that day – I might gain two pounds! If I took a good amount, I might lose a lot – one day, I accidentally took double my dose & lost five pounds! This is not a good thing – it was an accident, but it proved a point, that we are 98% water & anything that RETAINS WATER will make us bloated, & what releases water will keep us normal. {I believe many people walking around ‘fat’ are water bloated, & most of us who are ‘overweight’ are holding water.}

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Ask your doctor or Big Nurse about getting a diuretic as you feel water bloated. They probably will not help you but you can try. They will tell you all the reasons they won’t – like it can dehydrate you & hurt your kidneys. You might be on your own, so let me share this:

 

Understand that the two water-controlling minerals – salt & potassium – maintain your water levels. Salt is the worst thing for retaining – potassium pushes water out. I take three potassium capsules a day, 100 mg each.

 

I do take a diuretic every day, prescribed for my heart condition –with congestive heart failure your heart isn’t strong enough to push out all the water – but even so, this did not keep me thin, with the diuretic, yes, I was thin for a while – I was 137 lbs. After a year I felt I was healed of the heart condition {80% of it} so I began to eat REGULAR.

 

After the heart attacks I ate CLEAN FOOD, no additives, a perfect diet & not much – between 1K to 1.5K calories a day. I was beauty contest weight & men whistled wherever I went & tried to pick me up.

 

          My well-wishing friends all screamed at me that I was starving myself, it wasn’t healthy. Eventually it broke my resolve & I began to eat NORMAL – went to restaurants, Chinese {no salt, no MSG I told them but it still had some}, pizza {only veggies}, all that. Within a year, it crept on me, & in two years, I woke up to find myself 30 POUNDS OVERWEIGHT! I tried to eat less, weighed myself every day, but IT WOULDN’T COME OFF!

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And I note that the diuretics I took for the heart did not help me at this point! The water or whatever was in me, stayed in me! I was putting so much chemicals into my body the diuretic was overridden.

 

Almost every woman I speak to who is overweight tells me she tries & tries but the weight will not come off!

 

Why can’t we lose? Because we don’t understand, it’s NOT THE FOOD – IT’S THE CHEMICALS!

 

That’s it for today, the revelation is that your hunger craving is in your mouth, not in your body – it’s a craving because of the chemicals they put in the food – a craving for the TASTE – your body is not talking to you, it’s only your taste buds saying, ‘I want to taste that again.’

 

Rasa Von Werder     5-21-20

 

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College of God & Love, College of Love Making, College of Matriarchal Love, Uncategorized

SAD TURNS TO GLAD

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Lover leaves  but comes back,  relationship is attacked by numerous

people— beat them back & escape, fly off with him away from them all, on a

golden road of love—this is predicted.

5-17-20-SAD TURNS TO GLAD 

Interpreted for a friend

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          This is so sad in the beginning. My aunt & uncle have a get-together way in the hills in the country – it’s beautiful, rolling soft bushes & trees, lots of recreation, many people are here.

 

          *(AUNT & UNCLE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN PUNISHERS IN YOUR SYMBOLS {the thought is ‘cry Uncle’ when you can’t take it any more}, but this time you will see a change. The beauty, recreation, is a sign of your peace & happiness.)*

 

          I am having a great time, not thinking of anything negative, when after a while notice the guy I love is off to the side with another female—I know he’ll be making love to her. I see a lot of young people off to the side in the blackness where you can’t see them & they are doing sex. I don’t see my lover clearly with the female, just vaguely, in my imagination.

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          *(LOVER WITH ANOTHER: This being remembered is causing a mar to happiness. ‘In the blackness’ means you can’t see the people but know what they’re doing.)*

 

          After that I mope around, so sad. My uncle is near me. I see his face clearly, he has olive skin & 5 o’clock shadow on his face,—he’s young & handsome {no more than 40} & seems sympathetic to me.

 

          *(UNCLE SYMPATHETIC: Things have changed drastically. You’re not going to be punished or suffer any more, this change is saying.

 

The face of the uncle reminds me of an actor on TV who plays do-gooder roles.)*

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          He has me sit at a table that has soft, small dinner rolls on it. I take one, with my face sort of down in sadness; he gives me a different roll, one more square. I think what do I do now, put butter on it? But I don’t put any butter, I’ve become passive. There’s a guy sitting to my right – I don’t know who he is.

 

          *(SOFT DINNER ROLLS: What is on the table or brought there, represents in a relationship.

         

          BUTTER ON BREAD: Major clue –Butter on bread is MONEY, & possibly more than ‘just bread’ or basics, butter on bread could mean an abundance or extras. Uncle provides you with

 

BREAD ON THE TABLE –Represents MONEY – what one brings to the table in a relationship—You prayed about this yesterday, asking God what do we each bring to the table? The

d8bdaa21e878c385fd840fa76cf5e5fe--laura-croft-tomb-raiders 

BUTTER: represents ‘which side my bread is buttered on’ which means, which part of these people supports me, pays my bills or provides money? Uncle hands me a

 

SQUARE: dinner roll instead of the round one I took which could mean ‘a SQUARE MEAL’ & so this represents a ‘square meal’ or ‘enough to eat,’ a decent amount of money, not just survival, the rolls are money that is brought to the table, being

 daa2cddd8d78dc9422f5c69c78b44af5 d454339298858b173a40c1e3f60c6db1 d784f2d1e45813c56916882b9863bf7d d529fffa22181c984655bc4661c34330 d110a0db17525d80b57c08eac653a34c d30f0931552e2c8d730235f648f3f65b d10v2km-c01aac81-31df-4420-abb9-0a858fd187c8

SOFT: soft is easy, tender, not hard which would be hard to obtain or earn – You can easily provide support for Wayfarer & the butter is the ABUNDANT MONEY you provide. You are

 

PASSIVE: as you’re not doing anything, not chasing Lover any more, but there’s a man sitting to your right who you wonder about – you never look at him & this might be

 

MAN TO MY RIGHT: Lover is sitting to my right, it’s planned, prepared, like the places at a table, when they have placards by each spot a person sits at an event, a wedding & such – Uncle is pointing this out to me. The fact that this is a planned dinner might be pointing to WEDDING DINNER. In fact this entire weekend bash might be pointing to the celebration of our wedding. This dream, through the symbol of my Uncle, who usually punishes me, predicts the marriage.

 

This dream explains, through my uncle, a theme that has been raised many times before – that Lover coming to you will have to do with what you bring to the table – & he will know which side his bread is buttered on. He’s always been in ‘survival mode,’ living with people who paid the bills – not always full but part time, like several days a week. The most recent female gave him the ‘golden parachute’ & allowed him to live with her full time without taking any of his money & even for a long time, gave him drugs.

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Her ability to support him has diminished due to our Pandemic—in fact, she might be totally bankrupt for an extended time. The deal they had will no longer work.

 

Where will he go next? Who can provide? It will be you, the dreams have said for years. He will hit ‘rock bottom’ – will have nowhere else to go & will humble himself to you, the only one who will take him in & support him. That’s why this dream says ‘bread on the table’—man is to my right, & ‘butter on the bread.’)*

 

          I tell my uncle about seeing Lover with another girl. I say to him,

 

          “Could you invite him for tomorrow? Then I’ll see him again.”

          {This was a weekend bash.}

 

          I am profoundly sad through this dream.

 c952563a9105704511d3e0cbcf340fa6 C51494F0B2E101367234543D7EF8F2C1 c7604f76a7c8121938060436e74183ab c86d9b0bfd873c88be8786ba12f2f778

          NEXT SCENE everything changes. I am at a movie theater, the audience lit up, lover & I are sitting close to each other in the aisle—on the left—there’s seats here for us. No one is close to us.

 

          *(MOVIE THEATER: Theater of life. You are living it.

 

          AISLE: Big hint—going up the aisle means getting married. You are here together as a couple in love.)*

 

          He has me in the MOST WONDERFUL EMBRACE, his arm around me, kissing me, again & again & again. No one bothers us FOR A WHILE & then – the shit begins.

 

          First, his own brother comes up to him. He looks like he has about 25% black blood, he has a black mustache & short beard. He does not speak to me, but he addresses Lover, whom I shall call ‘Wayfarer’—telling him to leave off what he’s doing with me, & go with him.

 c59b816348beb61593828f606a3df453 c52cea0e0ef102ba2ecc647d44937320 c32 c31c6daf2a3f982b1c50567a1b9a9004--earth-mama-mother-earth

          *(BROTHER WHO TRIES TO GET LOVER AWAY FROM ME: This represents any creepy ‘friend’ or multiple friends who wanted him to be with them, not you. Some of these ‘brothers’ are in & out of jail for drugs, stealing & violence, some are homos or bisexuals. They want him to stay in their group.)*

 

          This INFURIATES me. I get up & punch the guy & I guess he goes off.

 

          *(I PUNCH THE GUY: You did interfere with one homo who quit bothering him for a while.)*

 

          Next, someone else interfered but I can’t recall who. I fought like three type sets of people.

 

          The third instance, Wayfarer & I have moved to the back of the theater, against the wall. Now a middle-aged couple interferes, a woman with super thick {twice as thick as regular hair} to the shoulders white hair is in his lap & her husband is nearby – they are also interfering.

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          I go up to her, grab her by the hair & pull her off his lap, & thinking,

 

          “That’s what they wanted – that I attack someone not of the family – so they can call the cops & have me arrested. They have conspired to interfere with my relationship with Wayfarer, wanting to at the same time get me into trouble for fighting back.”

 

          When I grabbed this woman it was violent, extreme physical force.

 

          *(WHITE HAIRED WOMAN: This is a rival you tangled with forcefully. Her hair is WHITE FROM WORRY about what was going on.

It was multiple onslaughts of people you had to fend off – homos –druggie friends & sex-crazed females.)*

 

          Then I know I must ESCAPE WITH HIM far away from all these people, where none of them can reach us or do us harm.

 

         *(ESCAPE WITH HIM IN MY ARMS: This is a prediction, it’s not happened yet. On the spiritual plane, yes, but not yet physical.)*

 

          I grab him into my arms, hold him, & light up into the air, & fly off, trying to go as far as possible. If we are far enough away from these people, we can be at peace to share our relationship. It’s a slight strain for me to fly high into the air, but I manage, & then I see the road ahead. It’s a beautiful wide avenue in the country – with trees on both sides – I see trees of the country side & hills on both sides, with houses here & there – the road looks like some kind of beige/gold clay. It is promising.

 

          *(ESCAPE, FLY IN AIR, COUNTRY, GOLD AVENUE: This says that you will get him away from all the negative people, male & female – take him to a higher level {FLY} & enter on the ROAD OF LOVE forever more.

 

          The physical surroundings resemble where you live, near Sacred

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Mountains—this says it will be Valhalla where you can finally share a private world with no interference or rivals.

 

It’s interesting that a person that has always been a punisher in my dreams now appears as a consoler, giving me a vision & prediction of future love & happiness.)*

O1qPv

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College of God & Love, College of Love Making, College of Matriarchal Love, Uncategorized

MAN FEELS REJECTED

Nose_picking_gargoyle____by_tallnthin

MAN YOU LOVE FEELS REBUKED, REJECTED

& IS A NERVOUS WRECK

 

5-15-20-GOODHUBBY & OZY HERE

#####!!!!!@@@@@ ##################11111 

          Was busy doing something with a guy – some kind of work, nothing romantic & we got done.

 

          *(WORK WITH GUY: You don’t have any boyfriends but you hire men for work, this is a new worker.)*

 

          Then see my ‘goodhubby’ Robert driving me into my newly refurbished driveway – just big enough for one car, & he has a quiet, curious look on his face like ‘what’s going on’ or ‘went on.’

 

          *(ROBERT: When Robert appears means your lover’s attitude is positive & tender toward you – Robert was a previous ‘goodhubby.’)*

 #####111 #####11111##### #####11122 #####12111

          The spot used to be ‘open’ but now not only are there tall bushes on both sides of the spot as well as in front, but a sort of ‘makeshift,’ not solid fence, of small ‘weathered’ trees, criss crosses, a decoration mainly as any animal can get through it like a dog, cat, raccoon – anything but a cow or horse, but they could knock it over, doesn’t look strong. The small trees this was made of are about 4” diameter, & the bark is weathered, not smooth, like rough & has maybe lichen or something textured on it. It has the fence rail over the top, & the as I said, large criss crosses under.

 

          *(MY DRIVEWAY: Represents, basically your vagina or sexuality. Now it is ‘closed in’ – the bushes surrounding where a man would drive you & your car into the driveway now ‘enclosed’ or no longer

 

OPEN: this could be taken two ways, no longer open to Robert’s scrutiny – or no longer open to him for sex. The

#####22222 #####11212121212 #####DOMINIQUE #####DRUGS #####FAMILY 

FENCE: Is a symbol of the CROSS, especially when there are ‘criss crosses’ here – A cross can mean pain & suffering, a cross can also mean

 

NO: as in ‘crossed out.’ Since the fence is made of

 

YOUNG TREES, 4” IN DIAMETER: Could represent YOUNG MEN you’re no longer having sex with – including the lover/boy/hubby. The

 

WEATHERED, TEXTURED BARK: might be another symbol saying ‘not freshly cut down – been sitting in piles for a while, bark getting weather-beaten, collecting lichen, texture’ – translating to ‘not going out with any young men – they were there a while back but now left alone. This is an accurate symbol for you to understand, whether he understands it is not disclosed here.

#####HOW HELL LOOK #####PPLE INFLUENCE HM #####U N HIM AFTER OVERDOSES #####UNFRENS 

BIG ENOUGH FOR JUST ONE CAR: This is hinting at the one man or multiple men situation. There are thoughts in his mind about am I the man, or is there another one? Symbols go both ways. Big enough for just one car translated is ‘big enough for just one penis.’)*

 

          Robert sees under the car – I’m looking under also – that the previous man who drove it took off his white stretchy undershorts {with a striped waistband, like maybe green/grey, 2 stripes} & pulled it over something underneath the driver side. We had nothing to do with sex but he might suspect we did.

 

          There’s also a simple small chair to the front left, & the worker put his hat, which is like a mask {you know those cold-weather hats that cover part of your face}, which is tan & black bands or frames around openings, at first, this sort of made me uncomfortable, but then I realized it was a virus cover, & there is another such knitted hat, of multi colors on this little chair. So the PRESENCE of this man is seen & it makes Robert uncomfortable & me the same way because I don’t want him to get the wrong idea.

 

          *(DRIVER MAN LEFT HIS SHORTS: Goodhubby suspects THERE IS ANOTHER MAN in your life, who is seen as ‘DRIVING’ ME—driving being a euphemism {symbol} for fukking you.

#####UPOSSESSED #####UTAKEHIM #####WAITING #####WAREHELL BE 

          SHORTS STRETCHED OVER BOTTOM OF CAR UNDER DRIVER SIDE: He thinks you’re with a man with his pants down.

 

          STRIPES ON WAISTBAND, GREEN & GREY: Green could represent money or ‘life.’ Grey is thinking.

 

          KNITTED VIRUS HAT/MASKS TWO OF THEM ON LITTLE CHAIR ALSO BY DRIVER SIDE: Then maybe you have multiple men? The beige with black borders could be Robert & you–you were secret lovers, so the hat/mask is HIDING SOMETHING – no one saw you together.

 

          And so, if youwere HIDDEN LOVERS, behind closed doors you could be having MULTIPLE LOVERS (multi-colored mask) in secret. The hat/masks are what is secret & hidden.)*         

#####WATUDO2HM #####WATUDO2HSHART ####WT U DO T HIM ###VACANCY 

          Then we’re upstairs on the 2nd floor. Ozy, a Guru is here with his back to the door of this room, I am here & there was a lady – not sure if this is still her to my left back or if that is a different person, & his 11 or 12 yr old son is here, looking next to the tall bureau where in my bedroom there is a huge window—he looks perplexed.

 

          *(GURU OZY: It took me a while to figure out who this is – it’s his God-Self– the Power which is the God or parent of his flesh – his flesh is his son, the boy standing here facing your bedroom window.

 

          FACING AREA WHERE MY BIG WINDOW IS: He used to summon you by way of this window, call out, whistle & shine a light to let you know he was there. This dream says he is perplexed why you’re never there.)*

 

          At first this lady & I found a bargain for underpants & we were both purchasing them gleefully, as the lady who owned this clothing biz was only charging $10 for ten pairs pants. I was showing them to Ozy, what a bargain, & he looks at this white card on top of this tall bureau where a stack of these are & says

 14980757_10209007765724830_1104933460089764786_n 15073422_10208915523659764_5306904935101243171_n 15073497_361158024217304_1062568092912661612_n 15109360_345066329191553_6415162926141033970_n 15181135_1696981803946853_5188557126603537731_n

          “The price has even gone down, they are now 15 pairs for $10.”

 

          They are beautiful underwears, that’s why I’m surprised they’re so cheap – they have lots of shiny material in red with black lace in front, not snug, loosely designed, almost like very loose pleats in front. I told Ozy I prefer to wear the big ones, as I don’t like my underpants tight. {I also had some smaller ones I wear, I show him the size 10’s.} I’m thinking to get more.

 

          *(RED PANTIES WITH BLACK LACE: Represent celibacy & not having sex for a long time. To call these

 

          CHEAP: Means there is no suffering for you, no sense of deprivation. The desire has been mastered. Ozy, his God self notices there’s been even a bigger jump in you being able to endure this lack of sex. In spiritual terms, when something they say ‘costs a lot’ means in terms of suffering, so cheap is easy.)*

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          Ozy is proud of his son & wants to know from my lady friend to the left – by her ESP – about his genius abilities.

 

          Her psychic senses comes & goes, right now she feels oppressed by too many overwhelming things going on & she says to him,

 

          *(PSYCHIC FEMALE: Is a part of you, right now seem to be overwhelmed with so many things on your mind.)

 

          “He has a neurological condition.”

 479713_801037410000851_2667627179029362100_n 548745_490609460957205_1164219922_n 577328_410264675682292_1058671390_n 1173706_645842345433915_335036636_n 1212111

          Ozy asked about the wound on his right cheek – it’s the size of a nickel, looks like light mint stripes over this ‘wound.’

 

          *(WOUND, SIZE OF A NICKEL, WITH MINT STRIPES: This is like his being ‘slapped in the face,’ which usually means, by a woman to a man, reprimanded &/or rejected. This is how he feels)*

 

          She says,

 

          “His neurological condition coincides with that wound, it parallels it.”

 

          *(NEUROLOGICAL CONDITION RELATING TO THAT WOUND, PARALLELS IT: He feels I have reprimanded & rejected him, & that has made him a ‘nervous wreck’ – translated from ‘neurological condition.’)*

1907630_514251432012785_6536048388562530780_n 1937161_778020458969213_3222010004555421761_n 1969155_518512211586707_3504009505710477804_n 10177901_512675865503675_5964448598072482978_n 

          Ozy expected something different, not that he has a problem, but that he’s superior in some way – perhaps he’s disappointed.

 

          *(OZY WANTED SOMETHING DIFFERENT: The God inside lover/boy/hubby might have thought his flesh was stronger than this – superior to the situation, but he isn’t. When he was pushing you around, he felt superior, in control, now he feels reprimanded, rejected & a nervous wreck.

          “You never miss your water ‘till the well runs dry.”

 

          He thought it was all you – he was above it. You were pursuing him, obsessed; he didn’t have to do anything but tell you when he wanted you. It was easy. Then suddenly, you were gone. He is perplexed, hurt, bewildered. If he was above it, why does he care? He never had to do anything to keep you, you were in love no matter how much he hurt you. The shoe is on the other foot. The well has gone dry. He needs the water.)*

 

original original original PastelDeadChicken-size_restricted Peter-Paul-RubensTheCat-of-the-Daughters-of-Leucippus-min PHO-63848-COMP PhotoGrid_1563036043297-1 playing-cats-henriette-ronner-knip Playing-Kittens-Henriette-Ronner-Knip-Oil-Painting-1 playtime-henriette-ronner-knip

 

College of God & Love, College of Love Making, College of Matriarchal Love, Uncategorized

YOU WILL MARRY YOUR LOVER

Ballet dancer wearing red dress over grey

YOU WILL MARRY YOUR LOVER

 

5-9-20-Beautiful blonde man at end of road (Dream)

 

Interpreted for a friend

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          I am having quite a time on this long road. It’s over a mountain – I’ve been here before, many times, but have not been here a long time.

 

          *(MOUNTAIN: “Lord, this time you gave me a mountain,” – song from Elvis. And Jesus said, “If you have faith as a mustard seed, you can move that mountain.” Mountains are PROBLEMS.

          This is going over a same ole’ – same ole’ problem.)*

 

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          Now I go back to it & it has CHANGED. I have some sort of vehicle, a good one. I go by this road but here is an obstacle, something white like stiff, is it metal or fiberglass, like not flat, sort of has some curve & an ‘edge’ about a foot wide to, covering almost the entire road, & I squeeze by, amazingly get by.

 

          *(WHITE OBSTACLE: Clue that this is about marriage. The metallic or fiberglass is the material of a car. And so I am unconsciously wondering about the marriage to Josh – to be or not to be?)*

 

          Somewhere along the road a person has opened some sort of ‘warehouse,’ like a barn, it houses I don’t know what – it’s white & has some black décor like some sort of round black window. It’s one of those pre-fab buildings, which has a round frame & the ceiling & walls wrap around it. It seems the person who put this here was trying to store something for hard times coming.

 

          Then the road becomes a FORK. It had never

artistebw archangel-chamuel-angel-tarot-card-steve-roberts ar0gqwzftq921 apividhc1__80143.1504208036 aphrodite-goddess-of-love antique-portrait-of-dionysus-joaquin-abella

annette-golden-aphrodite-goddess-of-love-bluethumb-f9c5

been a fork before, & both of the roads are covered in a wide duct tape material – shiny grey. I see the fork of the road from afar. I decide to take the LEFT because I’ve never been that way – always went the other. What will I find?

 

          *(FORK IN ROAD, NEW LEFT: Left-sided tantra represents things that are forbidden or not considered kosher, but it gets you there. This left turn is something bad that will turn to something good, most probably the economic crisis.

 

          DUCT TAPE: This is REPAIR or an attempt to fix a thing, & both roads are covered, means there was a problem in both paths or ways. The duct tape is smooth, shiny, easy to slide over. Something has happened to smooth the way, both ways.

a73739eb4a3c3ce831f4e92abd706c05 a56748cafdf5c8e544db3c48877670f6 a2610fbcdb158c991e2571d91eb2ff5e 

The duct tape might also represent the vision to see, understand, what’s going to happen.)*

 

          So I drive a long time, seeing new sights, can’t recall what. I finally come to the end & strangely, I am glad; tired of the journey. There is a pretty wall, like 8 or 10’ tall, made of wood & a window over all of it with panes, separated into squares, the side of the road is also some walls. None of this is formidable or threatening, it’s just somehow appropriate, I’m glad it’s the end, I’m tired of the road.

 

          *(END OF ROAD: The end of the quest, the journey, end of what I am seeking – will the marriage be or not? I am tired of waiting, tired of wondering, tired of trying.

 

This road might also represent a series of things that will happen, events, sights, that I can now see – that were not seen before & then the end of this quest will be revealed.

 289202f85c6d56fc0be290cb84163569 90561b23e9f1890a5ec22d9e31a8e48c 90227 86017_original

WINDOW AT END: Windows are opportunities, openings, things that allow something to happen, doors are the same. A door opening is an opportunity.)*

 

          Here appears a handsome young blonde man, cheerful, moving here & there, doing this & that. We greet each other, then he disappears – this happens again & again. In the end, he appears again, puts his arm around me friendly, & then it stays that way.

 

          *(BEAUTIFUL YOUNG BLONDE: Is Josh. The physical movements are his, & also, we were back & forth together & broken up several times. This reviews that.

 

          But in the end, he puts his arm around me & does not withdraw – this shows the end will be permanent, him & me.

 306280497_19c7867c 163495635-origpic-4e4a0f 133419212_5227673_Serafimsarovskii 061183300_1525837638-152583763885043iconic-smokey-eyes-sebastian-gunawan-couture-ss17 22750911._SY540_

BLONDE: Is golden hair, means love.

ARM AROUND ME: Accepts me. Holds me means keeps me in his life, keeps me with him. God is telling me that IN THE END, Josh & I will stay together.)*

 

a0b7f4af2747ca85d7f134d98160f499 a17d137f2ec5a55caec1d632b54c1336 a72b06349f77b3738f801845566f455a a2201975ba08439d1d2cf4047b9d9482 (1) adorable-hairless-sphynx-kittens-30-5cb8395935a56__700 afad92b3e9c5f1101f5e848625353591-700 ALBtNVw

 

 

College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Femdom Christianity Chaps 5-6-7-8-9

FEMDOM CHRISTIANITY  by William Bond  Chapters 5-6-7-8-9

Femdom Christianity: Chapter Five

 

The Feminine One

If there was an ancient religion of the Great Mother what would would be its teachings? It would be the teachings that God loves us all. Unfortunately, only a loving father god was acceptable to the ruling elite of the time. So anything about the Goddess Sophia was cut out of the gospels which means Jesus couldn’t promote the Goddess of Love.

Yet in-spite of this the ancient teachings of the Great Mother did survive and we find its teachings in Mysticism, which claims that God is the One, one mind, one spirit. The problem with this is that the One cannot be masculine as it is all about individuality, separation and conflict. Whereas the feminine is about love and harmony so the One has to be feminine in nature.

There used to be idea of Oneness in Feminism when they put forward the slogan, “the sisterhood is powerful”. But this was rejected after awhile as a powerful sisterhood goes against the Feminist ideal of equality with men.

The bonobo ape is able to make the whole idea of a powerful sisterhood work and it allows bonobo females dominate the larger bonobo males. Unlike their close cousin the chimpanzees where the female didn’t create a powerful sisterhood and so every individual female chimp is at the mercy of the larger males.

So we all come from the One and the One is female. We were all one mind, one spirit and lived in perfect love and harmony. Unfortunately that total perfection created stagnation. In a total harmonious world there was no reason or motivation to change anything. So there came a desire from the One to experience life outside of itself, to experience individually and relationships.

To do this, She created a material universe and within it created bodies, so parts of the One could inhabit these bodies and experience the illusion of being separate from the One. This gave the One, a taste of what it is like to be separate but then it went further and created beings that had no memory of being part of the One.

Because of this, these beings began to experience loneliness, fear and suffering in this world of separation. For this reason they quickly had a powerful desire to return to the One. So there first exploration in the world of separation was brief.

Yet, the One wanted to learn more about the world of separation and created a being that revelled in a separate world and that was how the masculine was created.

The masculine was able to live outside of the One because it was created to enjoyed competition. Someone who enjoys competing, fighting and conflict is a person that thinks it doesn’t need the One. But this competitive instinct also led to hatred, violence and suffering, so that even very macho men seek relief from this, by searching for the One within women.

This wasn’t a too much a problem in animals but became a real problem in an intelligent creature like a human being. As men found that could make weapons like spears and clubs in which to attack each other, leading to murder, wars and genocide.

For this reason the One created men to want to worship and obey women. This gave women power over men so they could restrain their violent instincts. This is because women have a stronger connection the all-powerful One and could easy call on her power and wisdom when it was needed.

Unfortunately, the human male is an intelligent creature and because of his competitive instincts began to plot and scheme for ways of competing against women for power. So some men would be attempting to undermine women’s confidence or try to manipulate and deceive women.

These efforts never worked while women remained in contact with the limitless wisdom and power of the Feminine One, but then some men found a way to break this connection.

Ancient Priestess

 At the time, people worshipped the Great Mother who gave birth to the world. So men suggested to women that it was unfair that people only worshipped a Female deity and they should worship a male deity as well. Some women did think this was fair and reasonable and went along with it.

So in their religion the Great Mother had a son, (similar to the images of the Virgin Mary and Jesus or Isis and Horus). Then later people began to worship female and male deities as brother and sister or male and female lovers.

At first this didn’t seem to be a problem, but the worship of a male god caused problems for women trying to connect to the Feminine One. The feminine is complete Oneness, love and harmony. The masculine is separation, loneliness, conflict, fear and hatred. So the vibrations are totally different, making it more difficult to connect to the Feminine One, when praying to male deity alongside a female deity.

So over time in this new religion women found it harder to connect to the Feminine One and they slowly lost their power. Because of this men no longer worshipped them as goddesses and they become equal in status to men.

The competitive instincts in some men drove them to wanting more power so the male deities became more important than the female deities. This then made contact with the Feminine One even more difficult for women and they found themselves at the mercy of male aggression and violence and the patriarchal age was born.

Finally, the new patriarchal rulers decided that there was only one god and he was male. Women then lost all their connection to the Feminine One and became the slaves of men.

This is a disaster for both sexes because although women have suffered under patriarchal rule, so has men. Because without women’s control and guidance man is in danger of destroying himself and the world he lives in.

As the male is separated from the One, he can explore what it is like to be individual and separate. But when he breaks away from the control of the female he then goes into a spiral of loneliness, fear, conflict, hatred, violence, war, chaos and destruction. Unfortunately this is exactly what has happened over the last 5,000 years.

This then is the dance of the female and male. The female is forever taking us back to the One to experience total love and harmony. The male is attempting to take us further away from the One into conflict and chaos. In this dance men learn from women about love, compassion and harmony while women learn from men aggression, competitiveness and hatred.

A world totally dominated by men will quickly destroy itself, as men will continually fight each other. While a world dominated by women will return us back to the One of total love and harmony. So can we find a way to return to the One through a matriarchal religion?

Religion is about our connection to God as well as teachings to make our lives better for us all. But unfortunately, patriarchal religions fail to do this. Most people who pray to God fail to find any connection to the One, while the teachings don’t seem to make life better for us.

The problem is that we worship male gods and this is the main reason why religions fail to deliver on what they promise. Male gods are masculine and the masculine is all about aggression and competition. So for this reason it’s not surprising to find male dominated religions and religious sect fighting each other.

Male gods are not only aggressive but intolerant as well, as people are threatened with, ‘hellfire and damnation’, when they die if they fail to follow the teachings of the male priesthood. So it is no wonder people find it hard to connect to a judgmental and punitive god like this.

Gods like this give religion a bad name and for this reason some religions have attempted to show god in a better light. We find this in the Christian teachings of Jesus in the New Testament where he promoted the idea of loving Father God. This has been only partly successful as many Christians still prefer the judgmental God of the Old Testament.

Buddhism has also attempted to give more compassionate teachings and Buddhists are encouraged to connect to Nirvana through meditation. Unfortunately only a minority of people are willing to spend years of meditation to do this.

So what would it be like to worship God as a female and have an exclusive female priesthood? It would be a religion based on the feminine rather than masculine principles. So what difference would this make?

The fact is that the One can only be feminine as She is total love and harmony. For this reason the One can never be masculine as he is all about individualism, competition, aggression and conflict.

We can see how this plays out in the animal world. Male animals like stags, bulls, rams and lions fight each other for dominance and access to females. Then when the strongest male animal has impregnated the females, the females give birth and devoted their time caring for their young.

So males have competitive and aggressive instincts while females have maternal and nurturing instincts. These is why men like watching and playing sports and compete with each other in business and politics and why male dominated countries and religions fight wars.

Most women on the other hand have desires to give birth to children and devote their lives to caring for them. Women not only want to care for their own children but will care for other people’s children as well as the sick, the elderly, animals and even men.

So if we were to worship God as a Woman we would expect her to be nurturing and love us all unconditionally. So this would be a deity we would find easy to connect to as we know she wouldn’t judge, condemn or punish us. The teachings of a maternal Mother God would also be about love which would encourage us to love each other and make our world a better place.

We can only return to the love and harmony of the One when women reconnect to Her and become, once again, one with Her unlimited power and wisdom. This will allow men to once again to serve and worship women as goddesses.

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Femdom Christianity: Chapter Six

Venus of Willendorf

The Ancient Great Mother

So what do these teachings mean in our present day society of the 21th century? We live in a world that has been dominated by the men for the last 5,000 years. The result has been a world of conflict, oppression, war, genocide and chaos. We are now in danger of destroying ourselves with destructive weapons like nuclear bombs as well as widespread pollution.

The situation is now becoming so dangerous that the One is encouraging women to regain power so we can return to the protection of the One. Unfortunately, too many women are learning how to gain power by learning from men. But men can only teach women how to be more aggressive and competitive. Teachings like this only take us all further away from the One.

An example of this would be politics where women politicians are taught by men to be as deceptive, corrupt and competitive as male politicians. The result has been that when female politicians act and behave like men, they can only mimic what men do and are not leading us back to the One.

Although as more women that come into positions of power the more confident women will eventually become in being themselves and no longer have to pretend to be men. When they finally do this they can start to lead humanity back to the One.

About 5,000 years ago men took control of our world and they were able to do this when women listened to deceitful men who encouraged women to break their connection to the One.

So there was a time in the past when women ruled the world and patriarchy has since tried to destroy all knowledge and evidence of this. So how could women rule the world when men are physically bigger and stronger as well as being more competitive and aggressive than women?

When women ruled the world there was a religion where people worshipped the Great Mother who gave birth to our world. The Great Mother is of course the One. She is all-that-there-is. It was through this religion that women connected to the One as the Great Mother.

Women then were representatives of the Great Mother in this world and so all women were worshipped by men as goddesses. So men have a natural desire to worship women and this desire becomes far stronger when women find ways to connect to the One. This means, the more women are able to once again connect themselves to the One the more men will want to worship and obey them.

So how did women lose the connection to the Great Mother? Although the One had unlimited wisdom and intelligence it didn’t know or understand the world of separation. It was only men who knew and understood this world. The One couldn’t comprehend the world of lies, deception and trickery created by men. So didn’t know what to do when these things were used against women.

Also the One gives us all unconditional love and this includes love for the worse type of man you can possibly imagine. For this reason the One never took sides when ambitious men set out to destroy the power of women. When ambitious men told women that it was unfair that people only worshipped a female deity and they should be allowed to worship a male god as well.

Women allowed this to happen, and so men were allowed to form their own priesthood and worship male gods. In the spirit of fairness women began to worship these male gods as well and in the process lost their power. This was because these male gods represent separation and conflict and took women away from the Oneness of the Great Mother.

So the male priests began to teach and practice masculine teachings which were about aggression, competitiveness and hatred. They also taught women about sacrificial love which is close to women’s maternal love for their children. So the priests taught women that maternal love and sacrificial love where the same thing.

This seems to be true because a mother will sacrifice herself for her child. but for a mother to be able to care for her child she has to ensure she is strong enough to do this. So the sacrificial aspect of this is limited because if a mother sacrifices herself completely, she can become so mentally or physically weak, she cannot properly care for or protect her child.

The women who listened to the priests began to feel guilty about putting any of her own needs before the child and the priests sensing a weakness, encouraged this feelings of guilt even more. So in the end women began to feel guilty about loving herself in any situation and as the result she began to lose her connection to the One and was no longer in tune with her Goddess power.

The One has never demanded sacrificial love, the One is an all encompassing love for everything and that includes our love for ourselves. The male priests in the spirit of separation encouraged the split between our love for ourselves and others. They were encouraged to do this when they saw it broke women’s connection to the One.

The priests also encouraged men to be selfish when dealing with women but unselfish when supporting the power of the new patriarchal rulers.

Through this, these men were able to break away from the control of the women. They quickly created a world of chaos and conflict and when they were challenged about this they defended their power through deception and violence.

So the holy women of the Great Mother religion then found themselves in conflict with male dominated religions. The women who returned to the original teaching of the Great Mother saved themselves but the women who tried to compete with men lost out.

Some women went as far as becoming Amazons and fighting men on the battle-field. But men have all the physical advantages in warfare and women lost when attempting this. This means that when women try to act and behave like men, they find they are at a big disadvantage.

Another problem for women is that men have what Sigmund Freud called the Madonna–whore complex. The famous psychologist points out that men either worship women as Goddesses, or treat them as abused slaves.

Men are like this is other ways when they say, “you’re either for us or against us.” It is there competitive instincts that make it hard for them the take the moderate line in anything. As they divide the world up into winners and losers. So men have a similar attitude about women.

It seems men had not problems in worshipping women as Goddesses but when patriarchy undermined this, men went to the opposite extreme and treated women as abused slaves.

People can only tune into the power of the One through love because unconditional love and Oneness are the same thing. Once women start to compete against men then they lose that sense of Oneness. The One possess all the wisdom, intelligence and power of the whole universe, so women become all-powerful when they make that connection.

Masculine power on the other hand is the power of conflict. Men can become extremely powerful when they are totally ruthless, brutal and deceitful but this power if unchecked can only destroy itself.

Patriarchal rulers have gained power and kept it by knowing how to gain power over other men. The patriarchal age hasn’t benefited most men as it paradoxically turned the majority into slaves, serfs and peasants. The ruling elite of the patriarchal world found that all men are very obedient to anyone who presents themselves as figures of authority and exploited this to the full.

So instead of worshipping women as Goddesses, men found themselves worshipping the male ruling elite who treated them like slaves. In the past male rulers set themselves up as gods and expected the people to worship them as such.

Later when people saw through this deception the rulers then claimed they had the, “divine right of kings,” and that it was ‘God’s will’ that they are rulers. Yet, even today when people are aware that their rulers are not gods or divine-rulers, common people will still worship those who have political and financial power.

Because of this the vast gap between rich and poor is as bad as it ever has been, because most men will meekly obey anyone in position of authority.

Men obedience to authority is clearly shown in war. We tend to think solders as tough macho men but the best soldiers are so passive they will obey the most insane orders without question. An example of this is World War One when soldiers of all countries would come out of the trenches to be mowed down by machine gun fire because they were ordered to do this. The military will spin this as iron discipline, but it is also extreme submission to authority.

The Japanese in World War Two went a step further and used Kamikaze suicide pilots to deliberately crash their aircraft into enemy shipping because they were also obeying orders. They weren’t volunteers, they were simply ordered to do this and none refused to obey.

So it means that women do not have to compete with men for power, all they have to do is present themselves as Goddesses and men will obey them. Perhaps we can learn something about this from the Femdom scene.

Femdom Christianity: Chapter Seven

Goddess Pandora

The Yin and Yang

So how do women connect to the One? The most obvious way is to stop worshipping male gods and then to worship a female deity as the creator of our world.

There are many women who are atheists and point out that scientists believe that the universe was created in a ‘big-bang’. This is still only a theory and you still have the problem of what happened before the ‘big-bang’ or how can a universe explode out of nothing? Not all scientists agree with the big-bang theory anyway. But even if it is true this may be the way the Great Mother gave birth to the physical universe.

Though it is interesting that when science began to make its mark in the 17th century and some people stopped worshipping male gods. Society since then has changed for the better and has become more equal allowing women to become more empowered. This suggests that not worshipping any male god is better for us all. Though worshipping a female deity will be even better.

When a woman worships a female deity she is worshipping herself. So the practice of doing this will of course give her far more confidence and self-esteem. But a female deity has a big advantage over any male deity because we know that She will gives us all, her children, unconditional love.

Jesus in the New Testament attempted to promote the idea of a loving Father God but somehow it never really caught on. Many Christians still prefer the judgmental and punitive god of the Old Testament.

In Pre-Christian times we use to have Goddesses of love like Aphrodite and Venus and this makes sense because women are naturally loving and nurturing people. In much the same way it is natural to have a male god of war.

Aphrodite

 The psychological difference in this is immense. It is terrible when people believe they were created by a judgemental and punitive male god. It is no-wonder Christians once called themselves, “god-fearing people”. Because they were taught that when they die they would suffer, hell-fire and damnation for an eternity if they weren’t ‘good’. Negative beliefs like this were a great benefit for the priests, as they could frighten the people into submission, but dreadful for anyone who believed them.

So clearly it must have been a big relief to many people when they were told by scientists there is no god. But it would be even better to know that our creator is female and loves us all unconditionally. The problem with this, is as atheist we tell us, if we were created by a loving deity then why are we living in a world of suffering? This is why they claim that we weren’t created by a god.

So if we follow this logic through, we either didn’t have a creator and so we all were created by accident. Or we were created by a very imperfect god who doesn’t really care about us because he has made no attempt to solve the problem of suffering.

Yet the argument whether there is a god or no-god doesn’t solve the problem for why there is suffering in the world in the first place. Even if we accept that life and the universe was created by chance. It doesn’t answer the problem; why do people have to suffer? If we live in a meaningless and pointless world, as claimed by atheists, why should anything we do matter? Why should we care if we live or die? If our lives are the only life we have, then what makes us want to continue to live in a world of suffering?

So if there is no supreme creator and that the only intelligent life in the universe is human beings, what is the point of it all? It would make some sense if we all were living happy and fulfilled lives. Yet it seems most of us claim that we don’t live happy lives. So if the gift of life only makes us miserable then where does that leave us? Logically, if we don’t live happy lives then the best thing we can all do is to commit suicide. Because what is the point of living a life if you are not happy?

Other people ask the question if there is a loving God why doesn’t he take out all the bad guys and leave the rest of us in peace. So why doesn’t God put the world to right and create a perfect world? The problem with this is that a perfect world might be boring.

A lot of us would deny this, but we give ourselves away by what we think is ‘entertainment’ in books or films. If an author wrote a story about intelligent and sensible people who lived lives of love and harmony, very few people will want to read it. On the other hand write a story about a sadistic serial killer and it can become a best-seller.

As Shakespeare said, “All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances.”

The world is nothing more than a drama factory. We come to this planet to experience the drama of life. Unfortunately, we can get so caught up in it, that we can be locked into a life of fear and suffering.

The masculine does give us all the drama we want, as it creates conflict and violence. But left unchecked it also gives us war, genocide and grinding poverty. Also, with modern technology men are in danger of destroying our world.

This is why we need the feminine to dominate and control the masculine. Yes we want to experience the drama of life and yes even experience suffering but not unrelenting misery and suffering. The more men dominate our world the worse it is going to get. We need the contrast of love and harmony with the drama of masculine conflict.

Men like to play sports like boxing, rugby, ice-hockey and gridiron where they can badly injure each other. But when the match is finished, the players shake hands and go on to live normal lives. So they experienced real pain and suffering while the match is being played, but it doesn’t last very long.

This is what we want, to control the dramas we created so it doesn’t get so bad we become depressed and want to commit suicide. Women are the ones who can do this, providing they are the dominant sex. Women of course have different drama as we see in romantic fiction and the drama of giving birth and bring up children.

I believe many people over the ages have asked these same questions and perhaps from these questions, religions were created. Within all religions there is a mystic tradition so what does mysticism say about the problem of suffering? Unlike the religions these mystic traditions seem to agree on one thing: All is One.

If all is One, then we can see a big problem with this: Because somehow this is not what we experience in real life. We all live in different bodies and are somehow dissimilar from each other physically, mentally and emotionally. It is these differences that seem to cause great conflict. The mystics answer this by saying that our separation from each other is an illusion. We only think we are separate but in reality we are all one. They go even further than this; and say that we are God. We are not separate from God as the whole of life and the universe is one mind, one spirit.

This creates another problem: How are we able to be separate and yet be at One at the same time? If we are all one; then why do we have an illusion that we are separate? This is where mysticism becomes very difficult for many people.

If all of life and the universe is One then how does the One know itself? To put it another way: If you were the only creature living on a desert island; what would you do with yourself? Even if you had a well made home and found food easy to find, most people would find life difficult without a companion of some kind. In modern prisons one of the hardest punishments they can give prisoner is to send them into solitary confinement.

This is true of human beings but is this true for the One? The answer is that this must be true because why have we come to this world to live in a world of separation? What we can be sure of is that a person living on their own, without any interaction with others, will stagnate. The same may be true of the One. Because even with our limited understanding it becomes obvious to us that if we had perfection, like in the Buddhist concept of Nirvana, we would also stagnation. Because once there is perfection there is no movement because, how can you go beyond perfection?

So we have here a paradox: We once lived in a state of oneness and perfection. Yet we deliberately divided ourselves up to live in a world of separation, and from this separation has come suffering. If this is true then we have a stark choice. We can live in oneness and perfection but we also will live in a world where nothing much is happening. Or we can live in a world of separation and relationships but from this comes suffering.

Yet if God is the sum total of all intelligent life in the universe then perhaps there is a way around this. This is for us to be One but live in the illusion of separation. But then we need a way to live together as individuals without conflict and suffering. This is probably why we have two sexes, the female sex retains its contact with the One and the male sex goes off to explore the world of separation. Unfortunately, this only works while the female is the dominant sex and so can restrain and control the male.

So to ensure that women are the dominant sex, men were created with a desire to worship and obey women. So why is that not happening? The answer is that men were also given a brain and some smart men found ways to exploit men’s instinct for obedience, as well as women’s complacency, for their own ends.

When women in the past had men totally under their control but they became careless. Men would always obey them and so they assumed that men would always do that. This complacency was then utilized by ambitious men to gain power for themselves.

It was easy for these men to talk to women about fairness and telling women they should have equal rights and so they should worship both male and female deities. Women went along with this because they didn’t see any danger in doing this.

Ancient history showed that the Great Mother then had a son whom the people worshipped. Then the son later became the brother or lover of the Great Mother. Then later on they got married and male god took over the supreme position and then finally female deities were suppressed completely and we now only worship male gods.

The same thing happened with the priesthood. At first there were only holy women who promoted the worship of the Great Mother. Then there came priests and priestesses who worshipped both gods and goddesses. It seems the early priests dressed up as women and even castrated themselves to be like women. Then the priests began to take over the dominant role until finally all priestesses were banned.

The clever thing these early priests did is that by dressing up women they were able to make men obey them. Then they exploited this obedience to indoctrinate men into obeying them and denigrated women so men lost respect for them.

Once men were convinced by the male priests to no longer respect or obey women then women lost their power and the priests took control. This didn’t happen overnight as women did fight back and tried to return things to what they once were but the priests encouraged men to use violence on women, who had no answer to this.

What is very clear from all this, is that when we worship the feminine and allow women to rule our world we return to love, harmony, joy but stagnation. When we worship the masculine and allow men to rule our world we then experience conflict, suffering and chaos but it gives us relationships and movement.

So how can the masculine and feminine work together for the good of us all? It can only work with women in charge but also allowing men to be men and not try to turn them into women.

It is like playing a sporting game. If the idea of the game is to put a ball into a goal each side of the pitch. But if there were no rules or referee, the game would just become a brawl and men would injure and even kill each other. So we had to make rules and have a referee to enforce the rules then a game can be played without the opposing teams badly injuring each other.

This has been the problem with the whole patriarchal age. Men have ruled our world without a referee or set of rules and the result has been a shambles where millions of people have been killed or injured and we have widespread poverty and suffering. Also, with modern technology we are in danger of destroying ourselves.

The obvious solution is for women to rule the world. Women are far less likely to want to want to star wars, commit genocide or create poverty. Providing that these women act and behave like caring women and do not learn from men, to be selfish rulers.

Femdom Christianity: Chapter Eight

The Feminine One

In our patriarchal world we are told, love in a weakness. But love is the strongest force in the universe because it is the power of the One. But the love of the One is total unconditional l love, She loves everyone and everything. Likewise for us to tune this omnipresent love we will have the same love for ourselves, as our love for everyone else. As Jesus said in the Bible.

“You shall love your neighbour as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:31.

Jesus also said, “God is One and there is no other but Him.” Mark 12:32.

But a male God cannot be the One, the One is feminine by nature and this was the problem Jesus had in preaching in a patriarchal society where a female god would be unacceptable.

So how do we access this power? We do it through the power of our desires and total faith in the power of the feminine One.

Because the One is feminine She loves us all and wants to give us everything we desire. So when we desire anything She will grant it to us. But if that is correct why aren’t we then getting everything we want?

We can only access the power of the One by not interfering with what She is attempting to give us. She has given us all the power of freewill and she will never interfere with our freewill when we use it but we use it all the time by every thought we think.

So it means that once we have a desire for anything we have to allow the One to grant it to us, without interference. Unfortunately, this is what we do all the time, because we do not know about power of the Great Mother.

Let us say we cannot pay our rent, so we have a powerful desire to have the money to do this. The One will then use Her limitless power give this to us. But with that desire comes all our thoughts about how we can obtain this money. So we might think about getting another job or winning the lottery or we might give up in despair and prepare ourselves to be homeless. All these thoughts block off the power of the One because She cannot override our freewill which is expressed through every though all our thoughts.

So for us to use the power of the One, we have to use ONLY Her power and not interfere with it.

So if we have any desire then we have to acknowledge we have it but only focus on that desire and nothing else. Once we start to look for ways to achieve our desires in the material world, then we assert our freewill and take control. Then the One backs off because She will never interfere, once we do this.

So the power of the One is totally feminine She will never aggressively assert Herself and override our freewill. But because She is the One, Her power is unlimited, omnipresent and omnipotent, and so She has the power of miracles. This means we have to allow Her to use her unlimited power and not interfere with our puny limited power.

Now this is spoken about in many patriarchal religions but they call it the power of faith. So they claim that if you have faith and believe it enough, God will grant it to you. Unfortunately, this is a bit difficult if you believe God is a judgmental and punitive male.

If you believe God will judge and punish you for your ‘sins’ and then told that we are all sinners, then it is tough to try and imagine he will grant you whatever you want. This is why worshipping male gods make in hard to believe in god’s love or even that he is on your side.

Whereas we see god as the feminine One who loves us all unconditionally then there is no problem with this. This is why when people worshipped the Great Mother then it was easy from them to access the feminine One and have whatever they wanted.

A big problem for most people is that masculine power and feminine power are totally different. This is the problem the femdom people have, they yearn for women to rule our world but they only know about masculine power. So they assume that women have to be like men and use aggression, violence, intimidation and deception to gain power.

Feminists also make the same mistake and again believe that women have to use masculine methods in which to empower themselves. Not realizing that feminine power is totally different to masculine power. Basically feminine power is spiritual power and can only be accessed through love and harmony which will tune women to the all-powerful One.

Another way patriarchal religions attempt to access the One is through meditation and this does work because it turns off our everyday thinking. But meditation can be made far more powerful when we think about the universal love and harmony of the feminine One.

Even if you are not into faith, mediation or prayer to any deity, we can get what we want, by only focusing on our desires and nothing else. Trying to think of ways to get something we want, that we think is impossible, is a sure way to get us into a negative frame of mind. So in theory just focusing on what we want, only, will make it more likely we can manifest it. But this would be a lot easer if we had faith that a loving deity will give it to us.

This is why women are far more powerful than men, if they tune into the power of the One as love and Oneness are the same thing. Men find it harder to access the One as the masculine is rooted in the material world of separation and conflict.

Femdom Christianity: Chapter Nine

Conclusion

The teachings of Jesus created one of the largest religions in the world but he is totally different to most normal men. Some Christians find him an embarrassment because he was so, “meek and mild” with paradoxical teachings like, “the meek shall inherit the Earth”.

The problem about Jesus is that although he founded a patriarchal religion his teachings were mostly feminine. This is in total contrast of the macho teachings of the Old Testament.

One of the unique features of Jesus is his healing, which you don’t get in any other religion that has survived to the present day. Many people assumed that he was able to heal because he was, ‘the son of God’ but he made no such claims.

When he healed people he said to them, “your faith has healed you”. So he gave the credit to the person he healed and not himself. So why was this? This is because the feminine One has given us all the gift of freewill. So Jesus could never heal a person against their freewill.

Now, this might seem a paradox because surely all ill people want to be healed and this is true. But you need faith to be ill in the same way you need faith to be healed. Any person who is ill and has a strong belief they can never be cured and will stay ill because of that belief. So a healer like Jesus has to undermine this belief in illness, before the ill person can be healed.

Modern doctors know about this because modern scientific medicine has a real problem with what they call, “the placebo effect.” It is known that dummy pills with no medicine in them can heal people. Sometimes in scientific trials placebo pills do a better job in healing people than real medicine. So dummy pills can heal because they can give a person hope they can be healed and sometimes this is enough to start the healing process.

This then demonstrates the power of the power of the Feminine One. She is always there to give us healing but we can block Her off through our freewill which we express through our beliefs. But something like a placebo pill can undermine our belief in our illness and allow the Feminine One to give us what we want.

Beliefs are no more than a thought we kept on thinking. So our habitual thoughts will always override any thoughts we think for a short time. This is why in many positive thinking books they recommend affirmations. As repeating the same thought over and over again can create a new habitual thought that can turn into a belief.

But Jesus taught more than just faith and belief, he also taught love, compassion and forgiveness. It was through this he was able to tune into the Feminine One. The more we can bring love and harmony to our thoughts the easier it is to do this.

So we can see that his teachings are the exact opposite to the patriarchal world he lived in. Yet it was through his ability have unconditional love for everyone and everything, he was able to perform miracles.

As we all know, Jesus died on the cross and in this he followed a tradition of sacrificial/saviour gods like Osiris, Orpheus, Dionysus, Bacchus, Mithras, Odin, Bader and Loki. All of them were either killed or sacrificed themselves, to save mankind.

Bacchus and Ariadne (oil painting by Titian)

Now this could makes sense, because the human race would be far better off if men sacrificed themselves to women and allowed them to rule the world. But the Christian Church had another interpretation that that was Jesus sacrificed himself to appease an angry Father God. This is in spite of Jesus teaching that the Father God was a god of love.

A male god may demand sacrifice but the loving feminine deity would never demand this. So it is of interest that in some of the Gnostic Bibles Jesus talks about Sophia, the ancient Jewish Goddess of wisdom whom he calls in the Gnotic Bible “Sophia of Jesus Christ”, the Mother of the Universe.

So what is the sacrifice of the saviour gods, including Jesus, all about? It is about the salvation of men. The masculine can only survive if it surrenders to the feminine.

As mentioned before left to its own devices the masculine will end up destroying itself so it can only save itself by returning to the feminine One and surrendering to Her. Many men instinctively realise this and try to do this, but this is difficult for men living in a patriarchal society.

We see this in the femdom scene where men surrender to women only as a symbolic surrender in fantasy play. So he will worship a dominatrix and pay her to whip him but still retain control of what is happening by ‘topping from the bottom’.

So it is obvious these men are only ‘dipping their toes in the water’ and are afraid to surrender to women completely and perhaps for a very good reason. Any man of reasonable intelligence knows that men have been extremely cruel to women for thousands of years and still treat them badly. So men knowing this would fear women’s vengeance.

There are a lot of women who are very angry with men and will be cruel to any man who surrenders to her. So this becomes a barrier for many men unless they are extremely masochistic.

This was probably even worse in the time of Jesus where women suffering under extreme patriarchal societies and so would be very angry with men. This was seen nearly two thousand years later when the British invaded Afghanistan in the 19th century, as mentioned in a poem by Rudyard Kipling called “The Young British Soldier”.

When you’re wounded and left on Afghanistan’s plains,

And the women come out to cut up what remains,

Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains

An’ go to your Gawd like a soldier.

It seems that Afghanistan women then would torture to death any wounded British soldier they found. This is the exact opposite to normal female behaviour who would normally want to care for anyone they found wounded. This shows how much these women had learnt to hated men and so had their vengeance on any helpless men they found.

More than this, any man who attempted to surrender to women would be mocked and condemned by other men. Even in recent times a men who worship women are ridiculed for being a wimps and are told they are not ‘real man’. In the Islamic world it is even worse because if a woman disobeys a man he is then ‘dishonoured’ and has to beat her up or even murder her to regain his ‘honour’. So a man dare not worship any women for this reason. (Though there is Femdom in Islamic countries but obviously it is kept secret).

So for men to surrender to women has been a big deal throughout the patriarchal age. So the whole drama of Jesus being betrayed, condemned, ridiculed, tortured, whipped and finally crucified would be the fate of any man who attempted to surrender to women in a strict patriarchal society.

Yet in spite of all these barriers, many men have over the centuries, surrendered to women, showing how powerful is men’s desires to do this. This has resulted in patriarchy being slowly undermined throughout the Western world in the last few centuries.

The first book published on Femdom was called,”Venus In Furs” by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch in the 19th century. He could get away with writing about this subject, at that time because he was a wealthy nobleman. This allowed other people to write on the same subject in the 20th century.

It is of interest that this has happened mostly in Christian countries so perhaps the teachings of Jesus and the drama of his sacrifice of has had an effect on men.

Learning sacrificial love is beneficial to men because it is similar to maternal love that women express when they have children. For this reason women don’t have to learn about sacrificial love but need to learn more about how to love themselves.

Sacrificial love seems to demand that we love others by neglecting or even hating ourselves. So in its extreme form it becomes masochistic love when a person feels they have to put the needs of others before themselves. So it may seem they hate themselves.

Unfortunately many people learn to love themselves by hating others. But if some people love others must they neglect or even hate yourself? Is it possible to love ourselves and everyone else at the same time?

Patriarchal religions have encouraged women to be sacrificial and women have gone along with this because it is similar to maternal love. As the result many women have felt guilty about demanding anything for themselves.

Yet a mother that is too sacrificial cannot care for her children properly. This is because by becoming too sacrificial and putting the needs of others before herself a woman can become powerless. This then means a powerless woman cannot protect her children.

So the best way a mother can protect her children is to love herself and have a man she can control and dominate. More than that, women as a whole are better able to protect their children if the country they live in is ruled by women. As a matriarchal government will put the needs of children before anything else.

So it mean it is possible for us to live in a loving and caring world if we allow women to take control of our governments and religions.

Femdom Christianity: Summing up and References

Goddess Lilith 

 Summing Up
Jesus is seen as ‘meek and mild’ and taught to, “turn the other cheek”. For this reason, if every man followed the teachings of Jesus it would be a world without conflict, fear and hatred.
Patriarchy teaches men to, “stand up for themselves,” and be aggressive, competitive and even violent. This is why we live in a world of endless conflict, war and hatred.

Femdom men are stigmatized for being meek for allowing women to dominate them. Yet, if all men were like this, we would live in a far more caring and loving world.
Both Femdom men and women are scorned for being masochistic. Yet surely masochism is just another name for unconditional love?

Soldiers are considered to be extremely macho men. Yet soldiers are so obedient they will obey orders, that will result in their deaths. This suggests these macho soldiers are extremely passive and even masochistic, when obeying these orders.

The power of patriarchy comes from the fact that men will blindly obey anyone in authority over them. This is why it is possible for a small wealthy 1% to be extremely rich and powerful, while the vast majority of men are poor and powerless.

The feminine can unite through unconditional love. The masculine is not loving and can only unite under the rule of a forceful leader. So patriarchy happens when men rule other men, while matriarchy happens when women rule men.

Patriarchy rule through force, control, intimidation, violence, deception and indoctrination. Matriarchy will rule through love, compassion and nurturing.

The sacrifice of, Jesus on the cross, is a popular drama because men see themselves in his very passive behaviour. While women see a man whom they would love to live with.

Femininity is all about maternal and nurturing love, so a world rule by women will be a loving and caring world.
Masculinity is all about aggression, competition, conflict, violence and war. This is why a world ruled by men is in constant discord and chaos.

Mystics tell us that God is One mind, One spirit. Oneness comes from unconditional love which is what mothers give to their children. For this reason, God is Female.

God is One mind, One spirit and so can never be male because masculinity is all about competition, aggression, conflict, violence and chaos. So Oneness can never be achieved by a male god.

Patriarchy tells us that loving people like women are weak. Yet love is the strongest power in the universe because unconditioned love creates Oneness and the One is all powerful, omnipresent and omnipotent.

The Sisterhood is powerful, but the Sisterhood can only be powerful when women love each other in the same way they love children, animals and men.

The feminine takes us towards love, harmony and Oneness. The masculine takes us towards, individuality, separation, loneliness, fear, conflict, hatred, violence, suffering, chaos and destruction.

The human race lost its contact with the Infinite One, when it worshipped male gods because the masculine can never be One mind, One spirit. So we can regain our contact with the Infinite One when we once again worship loving female gods who are the embodiment of Oneness.

When a man worships a loving woman, he is worshipping the Infinite One as loving women are the embodiment of One in this world.

When a woman allows herself to communicate with the Feminine One through prayer or meditation. She becomes in-tune with the most powerful force in the Universe.

The Feminine One loves us all unconditionally, without exception. As Jesus said, “for (S)he maketh the sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth the rain on the just and on the unjust.” Matthew 5:45.

The masculine is not completely useless, because it brings about change, contrast, evolution and drama to our world. But a world ruled by masculine men will eventually destroy itself. This is why the masculine has to be controlled and ruled by the feminine, to prevent this happening.

The feminine likes loving sex because it takes the couple back into Oneness. The masculine likes mechanical sex based of force, intimation, bribery, humiliation, dominance and submission to try and prevent the feelings of Oneness.

The masculine wants and needs love, but only love it can control. But love is uncontrollable and takes us back to the Feminine One. 

 

Hindu Goddess Kali

 ReferencesBachofen, J.J. – Myth: Religion And Mother Right
Gabon, W. Elinor – The Once And Future Goddess
Briffault, Robert – The Mothers
Harrison, Jane – Prolegomena To The Study Of Greek Religion
Murray, Dr Margaret – The Witch-Cult In Western Europe
Stone, Merlin – When God Was A Woman
Walker, Barbara G. – The Women’s Encyclopedia Of Myths And Secrets
Davis, Elizabeth Gould – The First Sex
Eisler, Riane – The Chalice And The Blade
Bulfinch, Thomas – Myths Of Greece And Rome
Lao Tzu – Tao-Te-Ching
Rudgeley, Richard – Lost Civilisations Of The Stone Age
Mellaart J. – Catal Huyuk: A Neolithic Town In Anatolia
Gimbutas, Marija – The Civilisation Of The Goddess – The Language of the Goddess – The Living Goddesses
Great Civilisations, The Indus (TV program)
Horizon, The Lost Pyramids Of Caral (TV progam)
Sanday, Peggy Reeves – Women At The Center: Life In A Modern Matriarchy
Abendroth, Heide Göttner – The Mosuo as a Living Matriarchal Society
Meyerowitz, Eve – The Akan Of Ghana – The Sacred State Of The Akan
Timothy Freke and Peter Gandy – The Jesus Mysteries -Jesus and The Goddess
Acharya S. – The Christ Conspiracy
Hancock, Graham -Underworld: Flooded Kingdoms Of The Ice Age
Neumann, Erich – The Great Mother
Matthews, Caitlin – Sophia
The Gnostic Gospels
New Testament
http://www.suppressedhistories.net

College of God & Love, College of Love Making, College of Matriarchal Love, Uncategorized

PERMANENT LOVERS

 

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LOVERS WILL BE TOGETHER PERMANENTLY

 

5-5-20-END IN CONCRETE FACES

 

          Interpreted for a friend

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                     The beginning is there’s a lot of turmoil in a community group – there’s like a ‘big man leader’ off to the right, in the middle a group of ‘boys’ or ‘young men.’

 

          I am here in the middle, doing this & that, like on the media, speaking. There’s a TV or radio show. This man I didn’t think was promoting me, I see his show in retrospect, & he did promote me, so much later I thank him for it. There’s something pitiful about this man, he has a good heart but he’s struggling or something.  

 

          There’s this guy I love who is in front in a sort of restaurant area with small booths—he has the young guys all around him, he’s one of them.

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          One day after a while he’s in a booth, & he & I have been through a lot, & I think it’s time for me to SIT DOWN & TALK TO HIM. I think he’s READY. So I go sit down in the little booth across from him ready for a good important CHAT.

 

          *(CHAT IN BOOTH: This is when Frank was running like a kid with all the guys – totally immature – while we were dating & I wanted to pin him down to a relationship.

         IN A BOOTH: This is like being ‘fenced in’, a limited space, closed in to some degree, a symbol for a RELATIONSHIP.)*

 

          He FLIES OFF like a wild animal, totally scared or spooked out, with all the boys around him flying with him. They’re all dependent on each other – like a HERD, & where one goes, they all go. They can’t be or think independently, all dependent on the herd.

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          *(FLIES OFF LIKE WILD ANIMAL with the other guys:  Herd mentality is powerful.)*

 

          Later I hide behind a staircase where he will re-emerge, I hope to ambush him to see what is he doing & have a discussion.

 

          *(BEHIND A STAIRCASE, AMBUSH: Long wait for him to come down from his ‘Ivory Tower’ {implied, he is high up, I could say Ivory Tower although it is not shown} but it doesn’t happen for years.

 

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IVORY TOWER: a place or situation remote from worldly or practical affairs — an attitude of aloofness from or disdain or disregard for worldly or practical affairs.       

 

          AMBUSH, HIDE BEHIND STAIRS TO CHECK ON HIM: Me leaving him, hiding from him, but still interested. Still, the relationship doesn’t happen, it doesn’t work.)*

         

Somehow this should work but it doesn’t.

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          Years go by. During that time of turmoil, this guy was with a female who he said was chasing him that he wanted to avoid—he acted like he didn’t like or love her, like she wasn’t important to him.

 

          *(FEMALE NOT IMPORTANT TO HIM CHASING HIM: This is me – he wanted to give people the impression he wasn’t interested in me, that it was only I interested in him – but of course that was only the outside impression, he was equally interested in me, he just didn’t want a commitment—a marriage. He wanted to remain a child.

 

YEARS GO BY: Years have gone by & I don’t know how much more time remains before our relationship starts.)*

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          Now I see him unexpectedly & I see her face to the left back of me & his face to the right front of me by the corner of is it a brick building? It seems like five or more years after the fiasco.

 

          Their faces are like none I have ever seen before. Each one is encased in cement – their faces come out of the cement, made of cement, surrounded by a rectangle square horizontally, with decorations of sorts around their faces. It’s mostly grey but there are bits & pieces of color here & there.

 

          *(FACES ENCASED IN HORIZONTALLY RECTANGULAR CEMENT: It is ‘set in stone’ that we get back together.

 

          CORNER BRICK BUILDING: Solid brick – also represents the relationship, as we are there. We were ‘crucified’ {the corner} but it stands strong.

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          ‘Sense-image material’ is yesterday I saw a homestead family in the middle of a beautiful dry wilderness. A teenage boy in the family wanted pizza & he & an older brother decide to create a PIZZA OVEN {outside} – which they do with rocks & CEMENT—the boy exclaims the cement looks like dough. They build the oven, the boy kneads the dough, covers it with tomato sauce & shredded cheese, they cook it & the whole family eats it. I was impressed by the ingenuity.

 

Here the cement that glued together the oven is seen as being mortar / glue to create a relationship – the boy who ran from me like a wild animal with his herd, to the boy who is now united to me in a rock solid relationship.

 

HORIZONTAL: This is to show me that this is of the earth, not merely spiritual, as we have the spiritual marriage already as of 2019. )*

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          To me it’s totally disappointing that he ended up with her – this cement like says ‘made in stone’ even though they did not get along, he was running from her, but here they are – the same two, so PREDICTABLE – them being together. I find their pairing up to be just so prosaic, so ordinary, all the problems & disclaimers to the contrary – they started out together having problems but ended up together as an ordinary couple, a predictable pairing.

 

          *(ORDINARY, PROSAIC, PREDICTABLE: Why these words to something I suffered so much for, prayed so hard for & desired totally? I ask of Mother God:

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         She: Because you are so over it, having been through all that. Your emotions have been spent, drained, your mind plateau-d out, you’ve been through so much you simply cannot take any more.

 

          It could be the emotionally desired now becomes the commonplace & ordinary, & could be ‘taken for granted’ – which would be a sigh of relief from all the previous pain.

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