LOVER WAS TRAUMATIZED

By Rasa Von Werder, April 8th, 2020
Jaynemansfield4

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LOVER WAS TRAUMATIZED

 

4-7-20-LOVER IS FRANK SINATRA & GREAT LADY

 

Reviewed & analyzed for someone else

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          Great prayers beget great dreams. I know this to be a result of my desperate prayers. I prayed to Mother God to assist me personally, I brought myself closer to her saying in every way how my happiness, my Heaven, can only happen when She is ONE with me. The problem is I criticize & judge myself too much, I cannot find peace of mind & happiness as I’m always finding fault with myself. My schedule, lifestyle, activities are not perfect by my standards, so I am always looking down at myself—I know this is wrong; it’s due to being abused, despised, criticized by my Mom & others.

This abuse lives in my head, in a sense, like Mom & Co are still there, their programs keep playing out. I realize this but am having trouble stopping, so I prayed strongly until I fell asleep.…………………….

 

          FRANK SINATRA appears. Frank was a great guy, I helped him out of Purgatory, & so when he appears in this dream I don’t know if it’s really Sinatra or my lover/husband Peter.

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          Frank is sitting against a wall & I come close to him. He wants to tell me something & it’s very loving & intimate.

 

          *(FRANK SINATRA: Is my lover/husband Peter. Why does he appear as Frank? Could it be because he wants to be a vocalist/rapper? Or an actor?

 

PURGATORY, I HELPED HIM OUT OF IT: This could apply to my lover as I helped him out of the earthly Purgatorial state he was in, doing multiple exorcisms, Masses & prayers for years, getting rid of many demons, freeing him up for God & peace of mind.)*

 

          He says to me in a way that penetrates my heart – it’s like we melt into each other, he says,

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          “Wherever I go, whatever I do, I will always take you with me.”

 

          I see over his heart three stripes, the rest of him is a sepia color, monochromatic, but the stripes remind me of the Lithuanian flag, yellow, green & red.

 

          So he’s saying he’ll always carry me in his heart. It’s hard to explain the feeling that goes with this, it’s deep.

 

          *(MY FLAG STRIPES OVER HIS HEART, HE’LL ALWAYS TAKE ME WHEREVER HE GOES: This is saying I will always be in his heart, a part of him, united, that he will always love me.)*

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          AFTER THAT starts another dream.

          I walk into a large room. To the right is a Great Lady, hovering over a man sitting at a ‘cafeteria style’ table. She seems to be comforting him, sort of consoling & flirting, he seems to be wearing an ‘army olive’ color top. But when I walk in she immediately stands up – in fact – in these dreams whenever I enter a room, she stands up to greet me—I’m impressed because this shows so much respect.

 

          *(GREAT LADY: My Mother God within me, the Presence of God, the Real Me, who I really am, “I am a Soul, I have a body, my purpose is Love.”

 

This God-Self RESPECTS MY LOWER SELF GREATLY, She stands up whenever I enter a room. This is the respect ‘God the Father’ would give his own Son, Jesus Christ, because it is in the body that God implemented our salvation. It is in the body God suffered, not in Heaven, not in the God Self, but in the lower self, & so, great respect is given to ‘God the Son’.

 

In the same way, God my Mother is giving the respect to my lower self or body – She did her work through God her Daughter.)*

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          She also is saying to me, by her action, that yes, she was giving attention to this guy at the table, but I’m more important than him.

 

          *(MAN AT TABLE SHE IS CONSOLING: This is the lover/husband. Yes, She loves him, but gives more honor/respect to me.)*

 

          As she stands up I see how tall she is – about six feet – her arms & legs are long, she has long brown hair to the middle of her back & wearing a clinging red mini dress. She puts her arms around me & holds me a while.

 

          *(SIX FEET TALL LADY: This is my spiritual height, I was shown/told – the same as Joan of Arc in Heaven. By contrast, my dear Dad is a dwarf. I saw him in Heaven, I bent down to him to say hello, it was whimsical, because I always looked up to him & in his obituary the author said he looked at him as a saint. He’s a small saint.

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By contrast, my wicked Mom & brother are lower– I did not see them standing but sitting in a dim light in the balcony of Heaven–& in another vision Mom was in a small house—the size of an apt, like one-bedroom, plain, with a picture of my brother on the table waiting for him to join her {he’d not yet died}. There was a sign that she ‘just made it’ into Heaven – the sign was that outside I saw a stovepipe, smoke was coming out, & it had tar on it—tar means Hell.

 

In comparison I might add that the beautiful actor Errol Flynn inhabits an entire tropical island suspended in Heaven! Yes he had a long Purgatory, but he had underneath it all, a good heart, he gave a lot to those he loved & he did suffer—people don’t realize how much he suffered—read his book, ‘My Wicked, Wicked Ways.’)*

 

          She’s some kind of an executive, an important Lady in show business production.

 

          Then I hear an inner voice & I repeat it to her:

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          “Make a video/movie {I hear a description or word that denotes like ‘behind the scenes production’ but can’t recall that word} of Frank & myself.”

 

          Frank is a vocalist. I’m thinking about that. Does he still have a voice? It’s odd that I would tell this great lady to do this movie–that she would listen & obey. Who am I to tell her what to do? But she respects me that much. I see her sitting at a desk to my left front, with her assistants around her, she has a staff. She has a thoughtful face, she’s also beautiful.

 

         I see us being busy making this movie but can’t recall details.

 

          *(THE MOVIE I SAY TO MOTHER GOD SHE SHOULD MAKE ABOUT US: I am stumped Mother God. I already tried to help him years ago & it backfired on me. Now what? Is this literally true or what is it a symbol of?

 

          She: This I believe refers to ‘Reality TV.’ You, the flesh, under inspiration, is saying to create a Reality Show about you & him, with him as a performer.

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          Me: But would it work?

          She: Yes.

          Me: I can see it now. He & I have an emotional reunion. He confesses to his mistakes, he professes his love, I interrogate him & he repents it all.

 

          We have a spiritual wedding with all the trimmings.

 

          Then, I rent a place to preach, with a pulpit. I give a rousing sermon.  Sermon over, I take off my robe & under it a scanty outfit. I dance–splits, kicks, the whole megilla. He pops out & raps & dances. His beauty will be recognized as well as his talent. We could even do a Jayne Mansfield, Micky Hargitay routine; she called ‘adagio,’ where she climbed on him for poses. The fact that its an old lady with ‘America’s Most Beautiful Man’ will get views.

 

Mother God: You have the wherewithal to do this, do it & it will create a sensation. Send it to all the TV media & they will take you on, haha.)*

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          Last thing I do recall is I am in an apt, mine & lovers, & someone has stolen & removed our bed—the apt is Hollywood long ago. We were both sleeping on the floor on a light blue rug—it was comfortable, lots of covers, warm. My side has more of the nice blue rug, his side has a bit of a black one, like the rubber mats I have, not as comfortable.

 

          *(HIS SIDE, BLACK RUBBER MAT, NOT AS COMFORTABLE: He’s more miserable without you than you are without him.

 

THE APT IN HOLLYWOOD: You shared with a demonic con artist. This is saying Satan broke you & Peter up – took away your bed or intimacy.)*

 

          When we wake up I look at our situation & talk about the bed, & basically say it’s not a terrible thing, we just have to buy another bed, maybe a Queen sized one.

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          *(BUY ANOTHER BED, QUEEN SIZED: The past doesn’t matter, we can improve our relationship.)*

 

          I recall a scene where I was getting ready to ‘go out’ with Frank. I had on the most ordinary thick-material black dress, loose. Then I say,

 

          “This is Frank Sinatra – he deserves me being dressed up nicely. I then remove a form-fitting black leather jacket (nice one) off myself with maybe black leather gloves, & place it on a table near the door. He’s watching.

 

          I go to get clothes & find a medium light brown wool tight skirt with a flare (it’s gathered in the back under the hips, with a cloth band across it maybe, so much like the type of skirts I used to love as a kid) & put it on, in front of a mirror – it might be the kind of wool that has colorful flecks in it – I used to wear those as a teen. Frank is behind me. Can’t recall what else I put on or where we go.

 

          *(REMOVE LOOSE BLACK DRESS, REMOVE BLACK LEATHER JACKET, LOOK FOR NICE CLOTHES AS FRANK IS SPECIAL: End of our separation, which was like an ending or funeral, time to be together again. I feel like my old self, when I was young.

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          SKIRT LIKE BACK IN THE DAY: The wool is sheep or submit {sheep are submissive} again to have sex with him – the hint is this is a skirt which covers the lower part of the body—It’s light brown with flecks, which might denote ‘serious color’ rather than depressing black, & the flecks & flare might say ‘a fun skirt—have fun, enjoy life again.’)*

 

          One strange little scene. Frank is once again sitting against a wall on the floor. The Great Lady is nearby & she says,

          “He’s part black” or maybe she said “he’s black.”

 

          I look at his face. It’s a child’s face, like compressed so it’s too wide, {but his body is that of an adult}, with medium light brown skin & both his cheeks are as puffy as baseballs, with those stripes like he had on his heart on both his cheeks {my native country flag stripes}. I carefully bend over to him & kiss his little cheek lightly, just as you would that of a child, a sweet little peck.

 

          *(CHILD’S FACE MY FLAG STRIPES ON HIS CHEEKS, HIS CHEEKS LIKE BASEBALLS, COMPRESSED HEAD, BROWN SKIN: This is the child within, who was damaged. The compressed head could be injury, mental compression. Consider when a person is strangled, their neck is compressed until they can’t breathe. This squeezing down on the head could be mental trauma affecting one’s brain or mind, he can’t think straight.

 

          SITTING AGAINST A WALL: In a desperate place, nowhere to go, like being cornered.

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          CHEEKS LIKE BASEBALLS—these are called ‘chipmunk cheeks’ because chipmunks fill themselves up with food & store it in their burrows. When people store a great deal, they are preparing against future need or ‘famine,’ – people who have fear of war or poverty hoard many necessities, including food. {In these ‘Pandemic’ times people are doing it—the media is encouraging hysteria. The revoking of civil rights is far worse than the virus.}

 

I saw a man who had lived through WWII in Germany, now living in America–his cellar was stocked with canned goods & grains like it was a bunker.

 

These fat cheeks represent INSECURITY, fear of being without, & both cheeks have your flags. This means the child within him needs you – a symbol of SECURITY & all that it represents—someone to love him like a Mother, take care of him, not reject or abandon him.

 

It means he’s FIXATED on the trauma of what was done to him. He was HURT, REJECTED, ABUSED & EMOTIONALLY ABANDONED BY BOTH PARENTS.        He needs you to give him safe space, harbor, a place of trust, where he WON’T BE AFRAID.

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HE’S BLACK: The black people have been severely abused in America & elsewhere, first as slaves with no human rights, second as ‘economic slaves’ with limited opportunities, sharecropping, menial & unskilled labor, lowest wages, prejudice & hate. The Great Lady/Mother God is telling you this has been his fate – he’s been treated this way, all here described—as a child.

 

THE SWEET PECK ON HIS CHEEK: You are treating him like a child, with the tenderness/gentleness a child needs—you’ve been careful to recognize the damage here & just because he has a man’s body, you have not assumed he has ‘grown up,’ – matured fully. You have known all along he was BADLY hurt & his behavior reflects that.      You forgave all his hurtful actions toward you on that basis.)*

 

          The feeling overall is that Frank is a great star, he loves me & wants to be with me & he makes me happy.

 

         *(FRANK IS A STAR: You see him & treat Peter like a star, to you he is.)*

 

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