It’s Not a Catholic World any More

It’s Not a Catholic World any More Rasa Von Werder

When I make statements like Lame Leo HATES women, the CC HATES women I am exaggerating to make a point.

It rather goes like this: Since the CC is mostly gay men, they are INDIFFERENT to women, like women are IRRELEVANT or maybe a NUISANCE – an impediment to their gay ways, where they want to chase boys, women might notice & rain on their parade.

Their attitude is this: We don’t NEED women, we can run the Church all by our lonesome. And women just MIGHT interfere with our ways, & so, we think up any excuse to keep them out except as slaves, servants, loyal supporters & volunteers – the ‘yes men’ of the Catholic World, the ones who do the bakground work, like clean the Church, do the laundry with the help of sinful girls, clean our rooms for pennies – sometimes act as pimps when we have nuns under our control, & that is it.

It is OUR Church, OUR turf, OUR playground, OUR world, they must stay in their lane! WE are the important gender, chosen by Christ {haha, if you are dumb enough to believe that, I’ll sell you a bridge}.

Keeping women OUT of the Church is one of the mainstays of who we are. We have an Institution, a Kingdom. To break down a chink in the wall & allow women entrance will eventually bring down the wall & it will no longer be the Church we know. The women will take over! It is a GENDER WAR & women’s entrance would be a Trojan Horse! Can no one see it except Rasa Von Werder? Why is she so smart? Tell her to shut up.

Rasa says: OK men, you can have your Church, your Kingdom. This is what I predict which is as plain as the nose on your face:

You’ve come out of the closet now. First, the world found out you are not only homos for the most part, but a huge number are raping boys. We put the kabosh on that. But still you are gay & admitting it – being open about it which is a good, not a bad thing. Less hypocrisy.

But here’s the rub: Do it WITHOUT US. We are leaving. The slaves have revolted. We have woken up. We are free. You hypnotized us, but no lie lives forever. In the old days, people believed in myths. But then came the theory of evolution. God didn’t create the world in six days. Then Adam & Eve. Who could ever believe woman came out of his rib, man did not come out of her womb? Crazy stuff to believe, like the guy I saw hypnotized who was told he had nine fingers. He kept counting over & over & came up with nine. We laughed our heads off. I saw a hypnotist told a man he was a sexy woman & told a woman she was a predatory male. They then met at a bar & both played their parts to the hilt – funny as hell.

Much of what the CC told us was like that & why did we believe them? I shall ask Mother God – why?

Below – St. Peter being crucified upside down. Now the Church is upside down.

MG: Because they were a rich & powerful Institution, they presented themselves as AUTHORITY the way your parent would. You being just a child, not knowing any better – accept what the parent teaches you. You fear your parent. If you disobey them they might deprive you of love & its privileges: room & board, acceptance, – mostly being loved. The Catholic Church didn’t feed you physically but EMOTIONALLY. As long as you bought into their system – believed in them – you believed in their agenda, rules, whatever they purported you accepted to some degree. Maybe some rules you could not keep – like sex {lol} but most humans who were Catholic who did it anyway felt some sort of guilt, & guilt is not pleasant, it makes one look down on oneself.

Here is the Google question & answer:

These are results for how & when did the Catholic Church become so tyrannical, bullying, intimidating and punitive?

The Catholic Church’s exercise of power has faced historical criticism for being “tyrannical, bullying, intimidating and punitive” across several distinct eras, generally linked to its acquisition of significant temporal power, which began in the Middle Ages. This criticism does not point to a single moment, but rather a series of developments and events throughout its history.

Key periods and aspects often cited include:

Medieval Period Consolidation of Power: During the Middle Ages, the Church became the dominant institution in Europe, wielding immense political, economic, and social power alongside its spiritual authority. It owned vast lands, collected taxes (tithes), and created its own laws. Critics argue that during this time, it used fear of eternal damnation and concepts like purgatory to control the populace and ensure obedience.
The Inquisition: Beginning in the 12th century and continuing for hundreds of years, the Inquisition was a powerful office set up to investigate and punish heresy. Abuses became particularly evident during the Spanish Inquisition (started in 1478), which is infamous for its use of torture, forced confessions, and public executions (auto-da-fé) to enforce religious uniformity.
The Protestant Reformation Era: By the early 1500s, widespread resentment built up over the Church’s perceived corruption, including the sale of indulgences (forgiveness for sins in exchange for money) and the luxurious lifestyles and political maneuvering of popes and clergy. Reformers like Martin Luther challenged this abuse of power, leading to the Protestant Reformation. {End Google question & answer}

Mother God continues:

You delved into many other question/answers which we’ll not print here for now & you got all kinds of culturally accepted answers. But we think outside the box of this culture. We go beyond what the accepted wisdom is. We go to the answers from a Higher Power, & the answers are these:

We are fighting a GENDER WAR Once long ago the world was ruled by Matriarchy. All worshiped God as Mother & women controlled everything – they were the authority & they dominated men. This was right with God & we had peace. As the great William Bond teaches – women are the caring gender, while men have to be TAUGHT how to love – which seems to be a dormant virtue in them. And women should not keep loving them, supporting them, he says, but teach them how to love.

The CC, as are all the major Churches on our planet is Patriarchal. And so, it does represent male thinking & it does NOT represent the female. {That is why I urged you to start working on the New Religion, Rasa, which you did by publishing a book on it in 2019}.

Now to the question of the Protestant Churches which ordain women – yes they do, but the women teach & preach the ancient Patriarchal POV from the set of male-chosen books called the Bible. Indeed, it does represent all the good things Jesus taught – which are without fault – but it also includes the wicked, evil POV of the ancient Hebrews – which has nothing to do with Jesus Christ. His religion is 180 degrees apart from Ancient Hebrew thinking. The Old Testament represents a war mentality, a ‘might makes right’ Patriarchal view & is disastrous for women. It is not Christianity, but it is included in all Christian religions.

ME: My question to you Mother God, is what now? There are many reasons why women & men are leaving the CC. Let’s hear your answer, not the traditional culturally inspired Patriarchal answers from Google. You began explaining how we believed myths – but new findings like Darwin’s Theory of Evolution debunked the myth of Creation. And the tall Adam & Eve tale appeared ludicrous to rational thinking. Let’s hear more in that vein, it makes sense.

MG: As you’ve been preaching a lot – think of the findings of the world’s leading geneticist – Dr. Bryan Sykes, with his “Adam’s Curse – A Future without Men” – proving male extinction. If that doesn’t sink male supremacy, I don’t know what does. And although you’re one of the few promoting that truth, it’s there & many academics know about it. The average person doesn’t – but many have heard of it.

Prior to this there was Ashley Montagu with his 1953 “Natural Superiority of Women”. People attribute it all to the Feminist Movement – it doesn’t deserve all the credit – but it has changed the culture. Many other books, studies, videos & articles have attested to “The End of Men” one way or another – bemoaning the “redundancy of men” – their DOWNFALL.

Then there’s Dr. Daniel Amen, who did thousands of brain scans & said male’s brains are asleep in the frontal lobes dept – the civilized part of the brain – while the brains of women are awake both front & back. That gives us pause & we could say ‘So that explains what I thought all along, now I know why.’

What about female body building, which you started? That gave men something to think about – that women taking drugs could become, relatively speaking, as muscular & powerful as the men taking the same drugs. With guys NOT on drugs, these women could break every bone in their bodies, lol. No more ‘Men are the God’s, women grovel at their feet.’

With the feminist movement, women did infiltrate traditional men’s roles, such as firefighter, police officer, astronaut, political figure, serious journalist & the like. A female almost became President.

So men’s egos have shrunk down & although they are still dangerous they are not as puffed up as they used to be – Now the Catholic Church.

In light of all these scientific & cultural shifts how does their authority appear?

For many years, women heard them say we can’t use birth control {they wanted us to BREED more Catholics}, we can’t have abortions {same thing, don’t kill Catholics, they were not sincere in their objections} but we did it anyway, & stayed in the Church. Everything to do with sex except marriage, they were against. Pretty soon this seemed preposterous, no one was listening & then when their sex scandal broke out we shook our heads to their hypocrisy. They were doing this right under our noses, albeit under the table – while we condemned ourselves for sin. They were no longer the arbiters of ‘faith & morals’ & will never be again. Their reputation has sunk, some have laughed, some have cried, some have threatened violence on them even before proven guilty. But they will never rule us again about our sexual conduct. {End Part I}

College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

MATRIARCHY OUR ONLY HOPE

from AJAX the GREAT with comments by Rasa Von Werder

Saturday, December 5, 2020

Female Empowerment Is Still Our Only Hope

Just a reminder to everyone that despite current events, or rather a fortiori because of current events, we need Female Empowerment more than ever before. While a full-blown Matriarchy is still a while away and we seem to be heading into a new dark age of totalitarian technocracy (i.e. the so-called “Great Reset”), Women must never give up and let their hard-won progress thus far be eroded any further. After all, all oligarchies, plutocracies, kleptocracies, and technocracies (or all of the above) are patriarchal at their core. As a man I obviously don’t have nearly all of the answers, nor do I claim to truly know the details of how to do it, but what I do know in my heart of hearts is that only Women collectively can truly halt and reverse for good the utterly dark and dystopian future to which we are otherwise headed, Goddess willing.

Now is NOT the time to sit on one’s laurels, give up hope, or make the perfect the enemy of the good in any way. Nor is it the time to take advice from fools, charlatans, mouthpieces of the oligarchy/technocracy/ patriarchy, or an even worse category: the vile and demonic Phyllis Schlafly types who masquerade as feminists (or even as self-proclaimed Radical Feminists) but are really patriarchal to the core or otherwise throw other Women under the bus for their own worldly gains, often disguised as concern-trolling. A good litmus test for that latter category is how they react to the works of the author Mark Regnerus, as anyone who agrees with his poisonous words are not really feminists and do not support genuine Female Empowerment. Which by the way, is both individual AND collective empowerment, NOT an either/or.

Bottom line, Women need to get into as many positions of power as possible, in as many places at as many levels as possible, as quickly as possible. Time is running out.

So go forth and make old Buckminster Fuller proud!

(See also a previous article here as well for a more detailed discussion on the ultimate kill switch to smash the patriarchy.)

RASA SAYS: “Can Female Power Save the Planet”? It is the ONLY HOPE.

When women ruled & Mother God was worshiped, there were no wars or weapons of war. See the studies of Marija Gimbutas, anthropologist.

When men overpowered the planet starting 7K years ago, there began the Age of Kali, an era of evil which is mercifully short lived, so say the sages.

There is NO SYSTEM that male has ever devised that is the proper answer for our society. Every system they create, as outlined previously by Ajax, is corrupt. Even the great religions, such as those started by Jesus or other Saints & Prophets, become corrupt once males get hold of them. See the writings of the great William Bond.

What is wrong with Patriarchy? It is male nature at its core. Males want to FIGHT – they want power & authority, to build harems. See the work of Dr. Bryan Sykes, “Adam’s Curse, a Future Without Men.” They cannot think outside the box, this is the box they are in & will forever stay.

The nature of women is to take care of people, they have compassion & mercy. Their nature will never change, they will always be care givers.

And so, depending on who is ruling, we either have violent, greedy bastards or caring, compassionate women, choose your pick, it is one or the other, Patriarchy or Matriarchy. Patriarchs cannot, will not ever devise or run a legit system, that is impossible given their nature, & women can never do any thing but care for others, Matriarchy.

What do we do now that Patriarchs are ready to strike harder than any government has ever done? We can pray. We can keep our faith, hope & trust in Mother God & we can work for her doctrine. One of the things no one is doing but me – promote the facts about male extinction. That will wake people up. Why listen to men that are going extinct? Why does Mother God want to remove them?

Rasa Von Werder 12-5-2020

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Uncategorized

HIS, HERS & THE TRUTH

12-1-20-THREE WINDOWS – CLOSING RESTAURANTS

This might be an answer to a prayer yesterday. Lover was BACKSLIDING, fooling around with another girl {possibly hooking up seeking a relationship}instead of contacting me, after some sort of breakup with present ‘wifey.’ I asked God to give me a dream re once again, why & how he would come to me when all was ‘said & done.’ My Higher Self does not take his ‘dilly dally’ with girls seriously, it relies on the REVELATIONS given many times by God re our PERMANENT RELATIONSHIP coming to pass. But how things develop is a subject for query.

*(HIGHER SELF VS FLESH/DAUGHTER: In yesterday’s dream there was an interesting conflict between flesh & God – where the flesh rose up against God & acted like she wanted to dominate – & at that point, I, the God, parted from her. This conflict has been going on for years – what the God Within wants, what the flesh wants. The flesh thinks physically, in a limited manner, short on faith, hope, confidence & all virtues. That is why flesh makes mistakes & pays for them later. My higher self was threatening me – the flesh – many times, She would ‘kill me’ if I continued with this man as it was – I did not listen for a long time, & I paid the price. The price was severe anxiety attacks, total chaos with the gastro-intestinal system, then heart attacks.

In this dream there will also be a sister I share a room with – another part of me, the pragmatic self, smart, but not God. It is the God that must prevail, dominate, make the decisions, no other part of oneself, & when another part takes over, there come the falls.

So in the last dream my Higher Self wins the day, in this dream my daughter/flesh does not even appear, but the pragmatic flesh is here in spirit, I, God, am correcting her.)*

My dreams opened with up numerous closings of restaurants as well as other businesses. All was shutting down like there was some kind of problem with society – like war but not war. I was present at many CLOSINGS, like shutting down doors, windows, I am there looking – it all goes DARK. There are many forgotten details. I was not UPSET, just OBSERVING.

(CLOSING BUSINESSES: Usually we don’t take things in dreams literally, but sometimes they are literally true. And so, this suggests that the closing of businesses will block the way for his ‘wifey’ – who is the main bread winner – to make a living. This being gone, she cannot afford him, both have to make different arrangements, she for someone to help her & the child. He stays with her because it’s most convenient, but if she cannot pay the bills, it isn’t convenient any more, so all bets are off. This answers the query why would be come to me.)

This part of the dream ends & I am at the OLD FARMHOUSE in my bedroom. I am looking through one of the THREE WINDOWS, the one on the right. Below me is the yard, all is GREEN, BEAUTIFUL, fertile. There is the large Oak tree, bushes & shade, & beyond that, nice sunshine in the field.

*(OLD FARMHOUSE, MY ROOM, 3 WINDOWS: The 3 windows suggests an answer to something, ‘his, hers & the truth.’

And so I see that beneath my window, domain is the SOLID PERMANENT OAK TREE – the Oak tree has the deepest TAP ROOT of any tree I know – it’s almost impossible to pull a tiny Oak out of the ground – I have tried. This represents PERMANENCE, A DEEP, PERMANENT RELATIONSHIP.

The SHADE here is PROTECTION. People seek trees for shade, shade protects from sunburn especially {you see the sun yonder but those who come here want the shade}. The sun in the context of this dream would be GETTING BURNED, which means HURT.

The green / fertility of this area is the LIFE / PROSPERITY / ABUNDANCE of ME. Whoever seeks this area, beneath my window, seeks my protection & prosperity. This will answer the query of why Lover comes to me – because he needs these factors.)*

There are some BOY-TEENS here – neighbors – who took it upon themselves to visit my yard to play. It doesn’t bother me, I’m happy they are finding rest / recreation on my property, & notice they stay in the SHADE rather than going into the sun.

The boy I notice most is maybe 16, short & chubby, wearing a white cotton shirt, button down, casual, loose. He has a BALL in front of him & bounces it up & down.

*(BOY-TEENS-WHITE SHIRT-PLAYING BALL: This is the presence of my Lover Bob, seen in this manner. Why this manner, & the playing ball?

Because he is a DEPENDENT on me, I am the Mother-figure, & being CHUBBY means he is WELL FED by me. This is more than food, it’s overall nourishment, could be spiritual, emotional, mental. Why is he SHORT? Being tall is sometimes, as in the last two dreams, wanting to dominate, pride & ego, but being short is being smaller than, submitting oneself, humbled or on bended knee.

The playing ball? It might be ‘playing ball with me’ which means cooperation. I am not there in front of him, but he is in my yard, my shade, under my window, seeking my protection & prosperity – & what is also revealing, is that he is FACING TOWARD MY WINDOW which means facing ME – & this says he’s COOPERATING {finally!} {It has been his failure to cooperate with me or appreciate my efforts that has caused him to stay in the mediocre place he is, dashing his aspirations toward becoming ‘a star’ & losing the spiritual as well as other blessings held out to him by God. He blocked all my effortsto help him, took up with a young lady drug partner. By now I might have got him off drugs & made him to some degree a celebrity, but none of that happened.}

WHITE SHIRT: Is his hope for & acceptance of our union / marriage.)*

I want to open this window more fully. There are three semi-used up, falling apart pieces of wood for propping it up, I have to work to get them aligned properly, hold the window up, two of them one on the other, on the left side, sort of rickety.

(THIS WINDOW: Is ‘his pov or side’ from the ‘his, hers & the truth’ paradigm. I want to see HIS SIDE clearly, but there’s some rickety old wood to depend on for propping up this vision – could be THE PAST bringing confusion & apprehension toward the future. Will he really change?)

Then I go to the MIDDLE WINDOW which opens to the main view of the outside, the clearest vista. My sister shares this room & apparently she has this window CLOSED which upsets me. I open it & am scolding her for not having it so. It’s summer after all, no need for closed windows. I say to my sis,
“WE NEED OXYGEN.”

*(MIDDLE WINDOW: Represents ‘hers’ or my flesh pov. Why did the pragmatic part of me have this closed, for which my God Self scolds me?

CLOSED WINDOW could mean ‘Closed mind’ or my POV is not open enough- not enough OXYGEN would be lack of ENERGY or life to my vision. In other words, I must BELIEVE MORE in his coming to me with a SUCCESSFUL CONCLUSION. My skepticism would come from his past performance.)*

Then I go to the LEFT WINDOW which opens on a low roof above the kitchen & the driveway. I thought at first it was closed also, but see it is open & lots of GREEN. There are two layers of windows.

*(LEFT WINDOW on top of the kitchen, driveway mean THE TRUTH. DRIVEWAY means ACCESS or ENTRANCE, the way in, the way he gets instilled into my life permanently, physically as well as other ways. I thought it was CLOSED is my lack of faith or skepticism. But it’s open means filled with life & vitality – I do see green here.

On top of the KITCHEN also is a symbol of hearth, home, food, nourishment. This is where our food was prepared & eaten. This represents the HEART / CENTER, ‘home is where the heart is’ – Both he & I have each other’s hearts.)*

College of God & Love, College of Love Making, College of Matriarchal Love, Uncategorized

HE PROPOSES MARRIAGE

Dream interpreted for a friend. Too see Rasa’s book on dreams, ‘Theater of the Mind,’ check Lulu & Amazon.

2-3-20-HE PROPOSES MARRIAGE-THE REAL DEAL-NO MORE HANKY-PANKY

There’s this young man I really like, but he’s with another woman. I stand around just looking at him all the time, from here or there, looking, looking. Finally I ‘give up’ as he’s paying attention only to her; I walk away & am sitting somewhere.

(I GOT TIRED OF WAITING FOR Xxx to quit the female he’s with & walked away.)

Then he leaves that female & he comes over to me.

( THIS IS A MENTAL STATE WHICH PREDICTS A PHYSICAL CHANGE IN THE FUTURE.)

He sits down on some kind of a ledge to my left a few feet from me, about 3 or 4’ above me, stretched out in a sense so I can see his body from head to toe. He’s wearing some kind of outfit that is form-fitting, clinging & there seem to be shades of green, dark & light. His body is shapely like the drawings, paintings I have which I often share on my site—(can’t think of the artist’s name, much of it spiritually/religiously inspired.)

He’s young, dark hair, nice features; the features are so beautiful they are almost feminine, like he could pass for a female if made up properly – almost.

{He reminds me of someone – who? Perhaps that coachman in ‘Upstairs-Downstairs who was so handsome a maid fell in love with him but those around him influenced by his female employer made him reject the maid. He ignored her – she hanged herself as she had ‘no one else.’ Except that guy was blonde, this one is dark.}

(THIS WAS MY LOT WHEN I WAS OBSESSIVELY ‘IN LOVE’ WITH Xxx. WHEN HE IGNORED, REJECTED ME, WOULD NOT SPEAK TO ME FOR A LONG TIME, I HAD ANXIETY ATTACKS WHICH LED TO HEART ATTACKS – IN A SENSE I DIED, BUT CAME BACK AGAIN AFTER LEAVING THIS WORLD – I REVIVED & RETURNED. AND I GOT OVER THE OBSESSION.)

Then he says something that shocks me. He says,

“DO YOU WANT A DATE WITH ME?”

As I said, I’m so shocked I’m SPEECHLESS & instead of saying yes I squeeze or pinch his ANKLE, which is right in front of me. That is my answer & he knows its yes. He then says,

“BUT ON OUR FIRST DATE, WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TOUCH EACH OTHER.”

At that, I want to ask him if he’s a Muslim – like they have strange customs, old fashioned, & I already broke the rule by touching his ankle. But I don’t dare ask, as if he’s Muslim it might raise some conflict or disagreement.

There was a SENSE that he’s actually asking me to marry him. But we must follow antiquated rules. No ‘touching’ as we court, & then this leads to marriage. And after marriage we can ‘touch’ which is a code word for sex.

(MEANING:

YESTERDAY Xxx PUT SOMETHING ON HIS BLOG THAT INDICATED HE KNEW GOD WAS DEALING WITH HIM, ENDING HIS PRESENT SITUATION / LIFE TO MOVE HIM FORWARD TO ANOTHER.

THAT LIFE THAT’S ENDING IS WITH THE OTHER WOMAN. HERE HE’S PRESENTING TO ME HE HAS DISCERNED THE WILL OF GOD, THAT GOD WANTS HIM TO BE WITH ME.

HE IS SAYING THAT IT’S APPROPRIATE WE NOT HAVE SEX, WE MUST END THAT SEX-ONLY AFFAIR–HE MUST PROPOSE MARRIAGE, I MUST SAY YES, THEN OLD-FASHIONED COURTSHIP, THEN WE FORM OUR BOND. IN OTHER WORDS, HE HAS SEEN THE LIGHT OR THE TRUTH & HE’S COMPLIANT WITH IT.

THE MEANING OF THE DREAM IS SAYING I WANTED HIM A LOT, BUT HE DALLIED WITH ANOTHER. I LEFT HIM & ONLY WHEN HE LOST ME, HE CAME & PROPOSED. AND HE AGREES TO A TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE, THAT IS, NOT USING ME FOR SEX—PROPOSAL, COURTSHIP, THEN MARRIAGE WITH SEX………………………………

QUESTIONS: HIS APPEARANCE, THE VOLUPTUOUS BODY, HIS BODY REVEALED NOT IN NORMAL CLOTHES BUT CLINGING ONES IN GREENS. SITTING IN FRONT OF ME A FEW FEET HIGHER TO MY LEFT. I SQUEEZE HIS ANKLE. ALL SYMBOLS THAT MEAN SOMETHING BUT WHAT?

(1) HIS APPEARANCE: THE BEAUTY–COULD HAVE A DOUBLE, TRIPLE MEANING. FIRST HE IS PHYSICALLY HANDSOME, TO AN EXTREME DEGREE.

SECOND, ‘HANDSOME IS AS HANDSOME DOES,’ HIS BEHAVIOR TO ME ISN’T UGLY ANY MORE, HE’S TURNED OVER A NEW LEAF & HAS SPIRITUAL BEAUTY, HE’S COME CLOSER TO GOD & TRUTH, HE’S ASCENDED.

THIRD, HE REMINDS ME OF THE MALE IN THE TV SERIES WHO BROKE THE MAID’S HEART & SHE DIED OF IT. THIS ALL POINTS TO ONE INDIVIDUAL.

(2) THEN, HIS VOLUPTUOUS, SHAPELY BODY, ALL OF IT REVEALED, ALL OF IT BEFORE ME. THIS MEANS HE’S NO LONGER HIDDEN, HIDING. HE IS OFFERING ME ALL OF HIMSELF, NOT PART OF HIMSELF; THERE’S NO MORE OF HIM TO GIVE. HE IS NOT GIVING SOME OF HIMSELF TO THE OTHER WIFE, SOME TO ME, HE’S FINALLY LEAVING HER & GIVING ALL TO ME.

(3) CLINGING CLOTHES IN GREENS. THIS IS LIFE REVEALED. ‘HERE IT IS—ALL OF IT.’

(4) SITTING HIGHER THAN ME, TO MY LEFT BEFORE ME. COMING FROM A HIGHER PLACE THAN HE WAS BEFORE – COMING FROM ‘HEAVEN’ SO TO SPEAK OR HIS ‘ASCENDED, IMPROVED SPIRITUAL STATE.’ HE IS SAYING ‘I ACCEPT YOUR TERMS, THE TERMS OF RELATIONSHIP BEFORE SEX—YOU WERE RIGHT. DO YOU WANT ME?’

(5) SQUEEZING OR PINCHING HIS ANKLE INSTEAD OF SPEAKING – I’M SPEECHLESS. ANKLE COULD REPRESENT PENIS. IT SEEMS FAR-FETCHED BUT A ‘THIRD LEG’ IS WHEN A MAN HAS A LARGE PENIS YOU SAY ‘HE HAS THREE LEGS.’ THIS MIGHT BE A HINT OR WITTICISM ‘YES, I WANT YOUR PENIS—YOUR PENIS IS SO BIG IT HANGS ALL THE WAY TO YOUR ANKLE.’ IT’S A JOKE YET IT’S TRUE IN A HUMOROUS WAY & I SAY YES IN THAT WAY………………………………BEING SPEECHLESS IS WHEN SOMETHING HAPPENS YOU REALLY WANTED BUT LOST HOPE—YOU’RE SPEECHLESS………….THIS DREAM IS AN ANSWER TO PRAYER ABOUT THE POST ON HIS BLOG – THIS IS WHAT IT MEANS. HE’S TALKING TO YOU, HE’S PROPOSING MARRIAGE, THE REAL DEAL. NO MORE HANKY—PANKY.)

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Uncategorized

FISHER OF MEN

1-26-20-FISHER OF MEN-MY YOU TUBE VIDEOS

DREAM:

There’s a huge piece of cloth, like an entire bolt, unraveled, & I’ve made a sort of large ‘pom pom’ out of it & am using it as part of my ‘costume’ or outfit on the air. It has some sort of round baubles decorating it, interspersed here & there, like pearls but bigger, more like small Xmas tree ornaments – yellow or gold.

I also have glamorous cleavage. Now I’ve finished my video talk, turn away from the camera & am trying to organize the net.

It is lying there in a bundle. I had to sort of cut many pieces now it’s lying there rumpled up.

I ask people things but no one seems to be in charge or responding, so I figure, OK, I’ll cut it into squares, put it into a neat pile, & that is that. I’m smiling, I’m happy.

MEANING:

THE NET WITH GOLD OR YELLOW BAUBLES SEEMS TO BE IMPORTANT.

A NET WOULD BE A SIEVE OR FISHING NET OR A SPIDER’S WEB – SOMETHING BY WHICH TO CATCH.

IN THE CONTEXT OF THIS DREAM I FEEL THE NET IS A ‘FISHING NET’ THAT CATCHES MANY FISH. THE FISH ARE REPRESENTED BY THE BAUBLES WITHIN THE NET – PEOPLE WHO LOVE ME (I HAVE CAUGHT THEM IN MY NET.)

THEY BEING FISH ARE PEOPLE I HAVE CAUGHT FOR GOD. JESUS SAID TO PETER,

“I WILL MAKE YOU FISHERS OF MEN.”

THE STRIKING CLEAVAGE IS OF COURSE MEN LIKE MY BREASTS, BUT IT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT, THEY REPRESENT MY LOVE. I SYMBOLIZE LOVE; I AM DOING THESE VIDEOS OUT OF GOD’S LOVE.

HOW AM I DEALING WITH THE NET AT THE END?

CUTTING THE NET INTO ‘SQUARES’ IS I MADE A BOOK OUT OF MY SPEECHES. THE SQUARES ARE THE PAGES OF THE BOOK. IN OTHER WORDS, THE ‘NET’ MATERIAL IS NOW BOOK MATERIAL. IT’S A BOOK OUT OF MY YOU TUBE VIDEOS.

……………………………

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Uncategorized

DREAM PREDICTS LOVE

THE ACTOR WHO WILL GO WITH ME @ THE END OF THE DAY

1-26-20-Dream interpreted for a friend

This answers a prayer ‘Give me something positive about my male friend Bryun, something honest, truthful, not wishful thinking but happy, re now &/or the future.’

I’m in a building where I go by a large office & peeking in, I think I see an actor friend of mine who’s in the middle of doing a scene. There is some ‘fuzzy’ light around him.

(I SEE AN ACTOR: SEE A MAN DOING A PART, POSSIBLY PRETENDING RATHER THAN SOMETHING ‘FROM THE HEART.’

FUZZY LIGHT COULD BE HIS POV, PERSPECTIVE. HE’S ON STAGE BUT THE LIGHT IS NOT CLEAR, A FUZZY LIGHT COULD BE SAYING ‘THIS CAN’T WORK BECAUSE THE AUDIENCE CAN’T SEE WELL.’ IT MIGHT MEAN ‘DISHONEST PERFORMANCE.’)

I wait outside until the scene is over; I walk in & say to someone who might be in charge,

(I SPEAK TO SOMEONE WHO MIGHT BE IN CHARGE: LAST NIGHT I CHANNELED MY BF’S GOD-SELF. HIS GOD PART WAS PRETTY DISGRUNTLED WITH HIS BEHAVIOR/LIFESTYLE –

REMINDS ME OF THIS STATUE I’VE SEEN IN A MEME WHERE A SMALL ANGEL IS DOING A BIG PUNCH IN THE AIR—A MAN GETS UNDER HIS FIST & SAYS ‘THIS IS WHEN YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL HAS HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR SHYT.’)

“Oh, I thought this was a friend of mine, an actor I know, but now that I come closer I see it isn’t him.”

(‘IT ISN’T HIM’ MEANS THIS IS ‘NOT THE MAN I KNEW’ OR HE ISN’T ACTING LIKE HE USED TO.)

The man looks happy; he has light brown-reddish hair framing his face with mustache & beard. As I come closer he’s different than my friend, not as handsome & slightly chubby.

(‘HE LOOKS HAPPY’ & REDDISH HAIR ARE OPPOSITES. THE HAIR SAYS PAIN, THE ‘LOOKS HAPPY’ COULD BE DECEIVING—HE’S PRETENDING HAPPINESS. HIS PERSONALITY TO THE PUBLIC IS HE HASN’T A CARE IN THE WORLD, HAPPY-GO-LUCKY—BUT IN REAL LIFE I’VE ALWAYS KNOWN IT’S AN ACT, PRETENDING TO HIMSELF AS WELL AS THE PUBLIC.

I ALSO DON’T RECOGNIZE HIM WITH THE MUSTACHE & BEARD IS THAT AFTER OUR INITIAL DATE, I DID NOT SEE HIM FOR A LONG TIME. I MET HIM WITH LONG CURLY HAIR, CLEAN SHAVEN. YEARS LATER HE APPEARS WITH A CREW CUT, MUSTACHE & BEARD, ON THIS DATE I DON’T KNOW HE’S THE SAME MAN.

BUT THERE IS A SECOND INTERPRETATION OF THE MUSTACHE & BEARD – IT’S A DISGUISE, A MASK, THE WAY GUYS PUT ON SANTA CLAUS BEARDS.

BEING CHUBBY IS GETTING FAT WITH IN THIS CONTEXT, THE FOOD OF THE WORLD. TAKING A FAT PERSON TO HEAVEN IS IMPOSSIBLE, IT’S LIKE THE RICH MAN ENTERING HEAVEN ‘THROUGH THE EYE OF A NEEDLE.’ HE HAS TOO MANY BURDENS OR POSSESSIONS – THE EYE OF A NEEDLE WAS ACTUALLY A GATE JESUS REFERRED TO, WHICH WAS SO NARROW THAT A FULLY-LOADED CAMEL COULD NOT GET THROUGH—YOU HAD TO TAKE OFF SOME OF HIS BAGGAGE. I SUSPECT THIS CONTEXT BECAUSE IT ALSO SAYS HE ISN’T AS HANDSOME AS THE MAN I KNEW – HE HAS SUNK DOWN SPIRITUALLY. HANDSOME OR BEAUTY IS THE SOUL. )

The feeling here is ‘auditioning’ for a part, trying out a part, being tested, but this is all vague, I just know he’s an actor doing something. Oh yes, I do add this,

“My friend was trying to get ahead but he couldn’t get anywhere.”

To this the manager rather agrees like,

“Yes we know, they all try but fail.”

(THIS IS THE SAME MAN, I WILL UNDERSTAND LATER, & I AM REFERRING TO THE MAN I KNEW WHO IS NONE OTHER THAN THIS MAN. IT’S SAYING THAT HE TRIED, IS TRYING, TO GET SOMEWHERE, BUT HE’S FAILED & WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO. HE THINKS & HOPES HE’LL SUCCEED—WHEN I CHANNELED HIS GOD SELF IT SAID HE WILL FAIL AT WHAT HE’S TRYING TO DO, HE’S WASTING HIS TIME.)

Finished with this episode, I go out the back door of this imposing grey building (it is a beautiful building & has trees around near it, a suburb, not a city.

I walk out the back entrance & as I go to the other side of it I see it has more of a ‘front’ entrance & from here that actor boy comes out with his friends. I am ‘bumping into him’ it seems more than anticipated. He’s wearing a long light brown Cashmere-style coat with white underneath. There’s light all around him, his friends, this entrance.

(CASHMERE-STYLE COAT WITH WHITE UNDERNEATH: CASHMERE IS A GOAT, THE FINEST, MOST EXPENSIVE FLEET, IT’S LIGHT BROWN & LONG. IF IT WAS PLAIN WOOL I’D SAY HE’S BEING SUBMISSIVE (SHEEP) BUT GOATS REPRESENT THE OPPOSITE: REBELLION. ON THE OUTSIDE HE IS REBELLIOUS TO OUR RELATIONSHIP, BUT INSIDE, THE WHITE AGAINST HIS SKIN, CHEST/HEART SAYS ‘I AM READY FOR MARRIAGE.’ INSIDE HE IS READY, ON THE OUTSIDE IT’S HIDDEN.

THERE HAS TO BE A MEANING TO THIS IMPOSING BUILDING, IT’S LIKE AN INSTITUTION, A MUSEUM, BUT OLD-FASHIONED. IT’S GREY STONE, BIG TREES AROUND, TWO ENTRANCE/EXITS BATHED IN LIGHT.

MY INNER VOICE CALLS IT A ‘MAUSOLEUM’. I ASK WHY, THE ANSWER IS:

THE DEAD PAST, A BURIAL PLACE, WHAT IS FINISHED.

LIKE WHEN SCROOGE ASKED THE SPIRIT WHAT IS THIS?– THE LONG PAST? & SPIRIT SAID, ‘YOUR PAST.’

THIS CLUE IS SAYING THE PART; THE LIFE BRYUN IS LIVING NOW WILL SOON BE OVER. I EXIT THIS PLACE (THIS LIFE SITUATION) ONE WAY, HE EXITS THE OTHER, & WE MEET, & HE WILL GIVE ME A MESSAGE, SEEN AT THE VERY END.)

Now I’m in trouble as I must get home, I’m in a strange neighborhood with no friends, no transportation, except one thing – the subway train.

I go there & the subway is the last type of venue I want to take (not sure why—maybe it’s not safe) but since I have no alternative I ask people about the schedule.

One lady there does help me out. She tells me the last train out is at 5:25 & it’s now 5am, make sure you don’t miss it she says, & she also writes down for me on a small slip of paper in large letters, numbers. They are something like 19/?/? But this is extremely vague, I might have the numbers wrong, but they give directions.

I bump into the actor again & I commend the lady, saying how important she was to me, she gave me directions to get home.

(GETTING HOME IN THIS CONTEXT IS GETTING TO ONE’S GOAL, WHERE THEIR HEART IS ‘HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS.’ THE LADY IS MOTHER GOD WITHIN ME PROBABLY.

HOW DO I GET TO WHERE I WANT TO GO, WHICH WAS HINTED AT IN THE BEGINNING, LOOKING FOR MY ACTOR FRIEND. HOW DO I FIND HIM & GET WITH HIM? HOW DO I BEGIN OUR SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP?

I DON’T WANT TO TAKE THE LOWER ROUTE – SYMBOLIZED BY THE SUBWAY. THIS ROUTE DOES NOT SEEM TO BE IDEAL, BUT I SAY IN THE DREAM I HAVE NO ALTERNATIVE.

A LADY, WHO IS NO DOUBT MOTHER GOD, HELPS ME & GIVES DIRECTIONS. SAYS NOT TO MISS THE TRAIN—THERE’S ONE LEFT TONIGHT. NOT SURE WHAT THAT MEANS, SOUNDS OMINOUS LIKE ONE LAST CHANCE. THAT COULD BE NO MORE THAN A FEAR EXPRESSED.)

Now once again I’m standing with the actor with his friends near him—it’s where I noticed his clothes, his coat. We seem to be back at the spot where he exited the building, there again, talking. He seems interested in his friends & I ask him where he’s going & with whom, & he says, smiling,

“I’M GOING WITH YOU.”

(WE HAD A CLICHÉ WHEN WE WERE GOING STEADY. I’D ASK HIM WHAT HE WAS DOING TONIGHT & HE’D SAY, LIKE THE 2^ND DATE ‘BEING WITH YOU.’ THEN HE’D ASK ME & I’D SAY THE SAME THING. IT WAS A STANDARD REPLY.)

He has now turned handsome – like the original friend I thought he was. I am a bit flustered by his remark & say,

“I’M FLATTERED.”

(THERE’S A FEELING HERE THAT I THOUGHT HE’D CHOOSE ANOTHER FRIEND TO GO WITH, THE FRIENDS ARE DESIRABLE, BUT WHEN HE SAYS HE’S GOING WITH ME I’M STARTLED.

AND THAT IS THE ANSWER TO THE PRAYER OF WHAT WILL HAPPEN WITH US, WHAT GOD HAS BEEN SAYING FOR YEARS SINCE THE DAY WE MET – THAT HE IS MY HUSBAND.)

MEANING:

‘HE BECOMES HANDSOME AGAIN’ AT THE END IS HE CHANGES HIS BEHAVIOR FROM BAD TO GOOD. ‘HANDSOME IS AS HANDSOME DOES.’

IN THIS WORLD, WHERE ‘ALL’S A STAGE’ HE PLAYED A PART OR PARTS HE THOUGHT HE’D WIN AT. WHEN ALL IS FINISHED, HE KNOWS IT WON’T WORK, HE COMES BACK TO YOU.

THE PART ABOUT THE SUBWAY IS AN ANALOGY BETWEEN THE ‘HIGH ROAD’ & THE ‘LOW ROAD.’ THE HIGH ROAD IS HE LOVES YOU, CAN’T RESIST BEING WITH YOU, LISTENS TO YOU & FINDS SUCCESS.

THAT DID NOT HAPPEN. THAT IS TO SAY HE LOVES YOU BUT HE DID NOT LISTEN TO YOU, HE WENT HIS OWN WAY THINKING HE KNEW BETTER.

THE ‘LOW ROAD’ IS HE TURNED AWAY FROM YOU, TRIED ANOTHER LIFESTYLE & PURSUED A CAREER DIFFERENT THAN WHAT YOU PLANNED. BUT IT DID/DOES NOT WORK & SO IN THE END HE COMES BACK. THE LOW ROAD IS FAILURE—HE HAS TO RETURN, TAIL BETWEEN HIS LEGS, LIKE THE PRODIGAL SON – YOU DIDN’T WANT IT THAT WAY BUT THERE WAS NO ALTERNATIVE. HE HAD TO KNOW HE COULDN’T MAKE IT HIMSELF.

WHAT MOTHER GOD IS SAYING IS THAT THIS END WILL COME SOON – HE HAS EXITED THE MAUSOLEUM. WHEN HE LEAVES HIS FAILED LIFESTYLE, IT’S THE BEGINNING OF YOU—THE TRAIN WHICH TAKES YOU HOME TO YOUR HEART OR DESIRED SITUATION, IS UPON US.

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Shrine to Shakti, Shrine to Shiva, Uncategorized

NONDUALITY FIXES A RELATIONSHIP

NONDUALITY IMPROVES A RELATIONSHIP

Interpretation of Dreams for Friends. Many symbols explained.

These first two dreams seem somehow to ‘go together’ or ‘dreamed at the same time,’ ‘side by side’ – although they seem to have no correlation.

First myself & my husband RAJ are standing in my room with the twin beds—we’re in the middle of the room as if the two beds, which are together, are separated.

(SEPARATED BEDS AS YOU’RE NOT HAVING SEX)

He’s standing here in a full-length blue robe & going to leave me. I am sort of on the floor by the side of his legs, holding his robe & saying,

(FULL LENGTH BLUE ROBE TOTALLY DEPRESSED {not partially as that could be a short robe})

“I’m sorry – I’m sorry.

Don’t leave me, I have nothing without you.”

(THIS HEARKENS BACK TO YOUR PTSD WHEN YOU WERE SEPARATED FROM DAD. IT BROKE YOUR HEART – HE WAS EVERYTHING TO YOU BUT YOU LOST HIM. EVERY AFFAIR YOU HAVE THAT’S NOT WORKING TRIGGERS THIS PTSD. THAT’S WHY IT’S SO INTENSE. YOU WERE ‘BROUGHT TO YOUR KNEES’ MEANS YOU WERE HELPLESS.)

He’s very sad, his hair is half grey, lots of white, he’s determined to leave.

(HAIR TURNING GREY, ESPECIALLY WHITE IS ANXIETY. HIS ANXIETY IS GREAT RE YOU—

BUT THE LEAVING SYMBOL IS NOT REALLY HIS DESIRE TO LEAVE YOU—IT’S YOUR ATTACHMENT DECREASING, he’s leaving you as a mental obsession–THE HUMAN ATTACHMENT THAT IS NOT GOOD, IF IT REMAINS YOU’RE NOT ‘FREE.’

WHAT WE CALL ‘FREEDOM’ IN SPIRITUALITY IS HEAVEN ON EARTH. AS LONG AS ONE HAS ATTACHMENT THEY CANNOT BE HAPPY—BUDDHISM TEACHES THIS, SO DO SOME CHRISTIANS, SO DOES NONDUALITY. ATTACHMENT MEANS ANXIETY, IT MAKES ONE WORRY. YOU CAN’T BE HAPPY & WORRIED/ANXIOUS AT THE SAME TIME.)

Right now also my niece Zarzilla has arrived with her little son. She’s brought me several items of clothing which she’s joyful about, & she lays them out on the bedroom bureau for me to see.

One item is a little grey-violet vest, knitted with large openings between stitches, (the vest is open, there are no fasteners) with PEARLS sewn in here & there, the other two or three items also have pearls, & every garment is neat as a pin, & so small, he must weigh no more than thirty pounds. She’s smiling. I’m rather startled as I’ve not seen her for ages nor heard from her, & here she’s popped up out of the blue.

(AS I SUSPECTED, THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOUR NIECE BUT ABOUT YOU DEVELOPING A NEW PERSONALITY-ATTITUDE REGARDING RAJ. ZARZILLA IS YOUR NEW PHYSICAL SELF & THE BABY IS YOUR HUSBAND RAJ.

RAJ HAS RISEN UP, SO HAVE YOU—WHICH IS GREAT FOR THE RELATIONSHIP. ONE OF THE SIGNS RAJ HAS CHANGED IS HOW LITTLE HE IS – BEING A SMALL CHILD IS SHRINKING IN HUMILITY, LIKE WE ARE ALL TINY CHILDREN BEFORE THE GREATNESS OF GOD.

THE LITTLE VEST GREY/VIOLET SHOWS A HIGHER LIGHT IS REACHING HIS HEART & MIND–VEST GOES OVER THE HEART & WHEN VESTS ARE OPEN THEY REPRESENT WINGS, THE COLOR GREY IS MIND, VIOLET IS A RAREFIED SPIRITUAL LIGHT. HE HAS RISEN UP. YOU ARE ALSO GETTING WISER REGARDING HIM.

NEXT, PEARLS ARE EXTREMELY TELLING SYMBOLS OF INCREASED UNDERSTANDING – ‘PEARLS OF WISDOM.’ SINCE THEY ARE VARIOUS GARMENTS BOTH UPPER & LOWER BODY, HE HAS IMPROVED ON SEVERAL LEVELS OR IN WAYS. {SO HAVE YOU.}

*GARMENTS: GARMENTS HAVE TO DO WITH WHO WE ARE, HOW WE ACT, WHAT WE ARE DOING. SOULS WHO ARE ASCENDING INTO HEAVEN MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, ARE SEEN IN FEMININE GARB—EVEN MEN—BECAUSE WE ARE ALL PASSIVE TO GOD. GOD IS THE POWER & GIVER OF GRACE, WE ARE THE RECEIVERS.

FEMININE IS THE TRADITIONAL SYMBOL FOR PASSIVE BECAUSE DURING SEX THE MAN PUTS THE PENIS/SPERM INTO HER BODY, HE IS THE AGGRESSOR, SHE IS THE RECEIVER. IT DOES NOT MEAN ALL WOMEN ARE PASSIVE OR ALL MEN AGGRESSIVE.

EVIL SOULS THAT DO NOT CONTAIN THE GRACE OF GOD, WHEN PERCEIVED BY US, ARE ‘SHADOW FIGURES, DARK ENTITIES, BLACKER THAN BLACK,’ THESE HAVE NO GARB OR CLOTHING OF LIGHT. GOOD SOULS CARRY LIGHT OR ARE TRANSPARENT, TRANSLUCENT.

WHEN A PROPHET ‘GIVES THEIR MANTLE’ TO THE NEXT PROPHET IT MEANS THEIR ‘CLOTHING OF LIGHT’ – THE ANOINTING OR POWER OF GOD WHICH THEY ‘CARRY.’*

SOMEONE WEARING BRIGHT RED WOULD BE RECENT SUFFERINGS, RED CAN ALSO MEAN ‘SANGUINE,’ LIKE ZEALOUS OR FULL OF ENERGY, PURPLE IS OLD OR PROLONGED SUFFERINGS, CAN MEAN ALSO ‘BEEN BEATEN’ AS YOU GET PURPLE SKIN, GARBED IN BLACK IS USUALLY DEPRESSION, A FUNERAL OR ENDING, OR A MYSTERY, LIKE ‘GOD IS DARKNESS OR BLACKNESS TO US—WHO UNDERSTANDS GOD?” IN THIS DREAM RAJ WEARS A STRONG BLUE ROBE, THAT’S SADNESS. VIVID GREEN ROBES ARE STRONG LIFE, YELLOW CLOTHING COULD BE FEAR OR HAPPINESS LIKE ‘SUNSHINE.’ THERE ARE MANY INTERPRETATIONS FOR COLORS.

CLOTHING ALSO HAS MEANING IN BEING DRAPED, PLEATED, TRANSLUCENT, TRANSPARENT, WOOL OR COTTON, SATIN, VELVET, VOLUMINOUS OR SPARSE, LEATHER OR LACE, HUGE VARIETY OF CLOTHING, GARB, HATS, SHOES, COLORS, SHAPES, SIZES ALL HAVE MEANING & ALL MUST BE DISCERNED IN THE CONTEXT OF THE DREAM. (To be explained elsewhere)

ZARZILLA/YOU IS SMILING BECAUSE OF THE IMPROVEMENT—YOU’RE NOT ANXIOUS ANY MORE, YOU’VE GOT JOY. IT’S BOTH OF YOU CLOSER TO TRUTH. IN SEVERAL DREAMS IT WAS SHOWN THAT HE HAS CHANGED DRASTICALLY—SO HAVE YOU. BY YOU ‘LETTING GO’, NOT BEING ANXIOUS, HE CAN’T CONTROL YOU ANY MORE BY THE REIGNS OF DESIRE, YOU ARE FREE. HE NOW SEES THE ONUS IS ON HIM TO DO SOMETHING – HE WILL HAVE TO BEND OR BREAK IF HE WANTS YOU & THE SHOE IS ON THE OTHER FOOT, YOU ARE HAPPY & FREE, BUT HIS WHITE HAIR SHOWS HE ISN’T.)

After the initial ‘neat’ scene she comes back again & clutters up my whole house – which doesn’t make me happy.

(CLUTTERING UP MY HOUSE WOULD BE MESSING UP MY MIND—WHERE YOU LIVE IS YOUR MIND, SOUL, SPIRIT, CONSCIOUSNESS. *This persona is a character within you, one you create, by changing your thoughts, each personality within us has its ideas/feelings, like characters in a movie or play. Some of your new thoughts are not ‘sorted out,’ they are messy or DISORGANIZED. You will see momentarily the SOURCE of these new {not accessed for years} thoughts are from the Hindu gurus.

(WHEN YOU FIRST ACCESSED THESE NONDUALITY TEACHERS THEY EXPLAINED WELL, BUT THEN YOU HIT MURKY ONES THAT WERE NOT CLEAR.)

There also seems like another scene where Raj tells me he’s leaving, but I can’t recall details.

(THE ENTIRE SEQUENCES OF ‘RAJ LEAVING’ ARE BECAUSE NONDUALITY TEACHINGS ARE HELPING YOU LET HIM GO—BEING SECURE, NOT CLINGING, NOT HELPLESS, NOT AFRAID. IF HE IS YOURS, HE’S YOURS–WHATEVER GOD DECREES WILL TRANSPIRE. IF GOD DOES NOT WILL IT, IT HAS TO FALL AWAY. IF GOD WILLS IT, LET IT COME TO PASS.

IN NONDUALITY ONE DOES NOT ATTACH TO ANYTHING—PEOPLE, THINGS, DESIRES – NOTHING. THIS SOUNDS IMPOSSIBLE, BUT IT ISN’T. GOD PERMITS ALL THAT IS NEEDED, ALL THAT IS KARMICALLY RIGHT – ALL THAT IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL, & ALL THAT IS BAD FALLS AWAY. YOU MUST TRUST THAT. LIKE JESUS SAID, FIRST, ‘LET THIS CUP PASS’…BUT THEN ADDED, ‘THY WILL, NOT MINE BE DONE.’ NEVER SHOULD YOU DESIRE ANYTHING NOT GOD’S WILL, IT WILL BE BAD FOR YOU.)

Not only has she messed up the whole house, but she has brought some of her relatives & a whole line of male friends who are from India or another Eastern place where they look like that. They are all young-middle aged, decent looking, energetic & healthy businessmen. After a while they want to do some business here, like it’s only a social visit, but they are so eager to move forward–they want to do something to accelerate a venture.

Some of these men are lined up against the wall, while others are here & there –they are wearing bright clothes, like one has on an orange t-shirt with brown pants, all have strong-colored clothes & some of them, certainly the one in orange, have brown skin. They seem active & happy.

(THESE MEN ARE THE HINDU/YOGA SAINTS YOU’VE BEEN STUDYING RECENTLY. THEY ARE HERE IN YOUR MIND, CHANGING YOU INTO ZARZILLA!

WHY ARE THEY WEARING STRONG-COLORED CLOTHES – ESPECIALLY THIS ONE YOU NOTICE IN ORANGE? USUALLY BRIGHT COLORS INDICATE ‘OF THE EARTH’—NOT THE DEAD, BECAUSE FROM WHERE WE ARE WE DON’T SEE THE DEAD AS ‘COLORFUL,’ WE SEE SOMEONE DYING TURNING GREY, OR THE BLOOD LEAVING THEIR BODY. THIS ONE IN ORANGE IS THE BEST TEACHER—ORANGE IS THE COLOR OF AN EASTERN MONK’S ROBES, ALTHOUGH THIS MAN IS EUROPEAN – DAVID GODMAN TEACHING THE GOSPEL OF RAMANA MAHARSHI.)

These men – there’s four or five of them – we really have a house full – there also seem to be a couple male relatives of hers here ask me if they can make some COPIES on my printer. I tell them I don’t have one. They say

“What? You are in business to do xxxx? & don’t have a printer? That would seem a necessity.”

I had bragged to them about being a successful business woman, well off, & the impression they got was I had lots of clients, etc. But then, I have to clarify,

(THIS BRAGGING IS NO DOUBT COMMENTS YOU PLACED ON YOU TUBE VIDEOS WHERE YOU GAVE IMPRESSIONS OF YOURSELF THAT WERE PUFFED-UP, OR RATHER PEOPLE MISUNDERSTOOD & THINK YOU’RE A ‘BIG OPERATOR.’)

“I only have one client, & that is the Catholic Church. I work for them without pay.”

Indeed, I did my work for charity, it was not what they imagined. This might refer to Holy Masses & prayers of the Catholic Church.

(WHAT IS THE PRINTER? THAT SOUNDS LIKE COPY OR REPETITION. IT MIGHT MEAN PROMOTING THEIR TEACHINGS. OF COURSE YOU ARE PROMOTING THEIR TEACHINGS ON THE INTERNET AS YOU LEARN THEM. THESE MEN ARE ZEALOUS FOR THEIR CAUSE; THEY WANT OTHERS, LIKE YOU, TO PARTICIPATE.

YOU DO MAKE A DISCLAIMER THAT YOU ARE WORKING FOR THE CATHOLICCHURCH—INDEED YOU HAVE PROMOTED THIS WAY ALL YOUR LIFE & (NOT SAYING YOU NEGLECTED YOGA, BUT YOU ARE FOCUSED ON JESUS’ WAYS AS TAUGHT BY THE CATHOLIC THEOLOGY.)

There’s also much to do with the little son of Zar. I explain something,

It’s kind of like we’re having a ‘forum’ – like disclosing secrets of WHAT HAS HURT US – bringing things INTO THE OPEN. Zar seems to be wearing a light blue printed top & bottom & is standing against the wall in front of a doorway, & a few of her people are between us scattered about.

(TO SAY SOMEONE IS ‘AGAINST THE WALL’ IS TO SAY THEY CAN’T GET AWAY. HERE THE DREAMER {CALLED ‘ME’ OR ‘I’-IT IS THE GOD SELF OR WHAT MAHARSHI & OTHERS CALL PLAIN ‘SELF.’} HAS THIS PERSONA AS A CAPTIVE AUDIENCE, SHE CANNOT RESIST THE WORDS.

HER OUTFIT IS FEMININE, HINTING SHE IS TAKING IN THE GOD-WORDS.)

I say to her sincerely,

“Do you know WHAT HURT ME THE MOST? When you visited me with the baby you never offered me to hold him & I was afraid to ask. I don’t think I ever TOUCHED him at all!”

She seems to be HOLDING HIM now & says,

“What did you ever give me?”

I answer,

“I GAVE YOU MY DNA!”

Focusing on those words I see the injustice of her attitude & also that the child of hers, whose love she denies me, also has my DNA.

(I SUSPECT HERE THAT WE’RE TALKING ABOUT SPIRITUAL DNA. THE GOD-SELF IS SAYING THAT THE FLESH PREVENTED GOD POWER FROM TOUCHING THE ‘BABY’ WHO IS ACTUALLY RAJ, THE HUSBAND.

HE IS YOUR CHILD FOR MORE THAN ONE REASON. ONE BEING THAT HE IS A CHILD OF GOD & YOU CAME TO CLAIM HIM FOR GOD’S REALM. YOU GOT HIM AWAY FROM MANY DEMONS.

Then we’re on a large bed, & her son appears in the form of about a ten pound cat with long fuzzy hair, & he is sort of pouncing about the bed, I catch him & hold him as I would a cat, loving him, & saying,

“You were afraid of me, now I guess you’re not.”

(THIS LONG-HAIRED BEAUTIFUL GREY CAT HAS GOTTEN TAMER OVER THE YEARS. SHE USED TO BE AFRAID BUT VISITED & ATE OUTSIDE. JUST A FEW DAYS AGO SHE DECIDED TO STAY IN THE KITCHEN, EAT & SLEEP THERE DAY & NIGHT. PRIOR TO THAT IT HAD BEEN STAY TWELVE HOURS AT THE MOST, PERCHING ON TOP OF A RAG BIN THAT HAS A NICE COVER LIKE A NEST—THEN LEAVE & COME BACK. THERE’S NOW A THICK COAT ON A CHAIR NEAR THE HEAT VENT, THIS IS HER FAVORITE SPOT AS IT’S 50 DEGREES IN THE KITCHEN BUT THIS SPOT IS WARMER.

HER PERSONALITY CHANGED, HER FEAR LEFT, AND THAT’S THE SYMBOL.

RAJ THE HUSBAND WAS ALSO AFRAID BECAUSE OF PTSD & PHOBIAS. THIS COULD BE SAYING HIS FEAR HAS DIMINISHED.)

Then he turns into a human infant, naked, & I’m cradling him on my left arm holding him close, enjoying the love & Zar does two things which annoy me that are unfair. First, she tries to take the child away to take him somewhere, & I say,

(NAKED MEANS ‘OPEN – VULNERABLE – EXPOSED’ LIKE BEING ‘NAKED BEFORE THE LORD’ MEANS BEING HONEST WITH HER. THIS SHOWS A BETTER OPENING BETWEEN RAJ & YOU.)

“I’m playing with him now.”

And then, while he’s in my arms she sort of sneaks around from the left (like behind something) saying,

“Do you love Mommy? Kiss Mommy” like getting his attention again & again.

I tell her this sort of activity isn’t right. Look over there at your husband – Dave – (he’s to the left). If you were in his arms & another guy came up & said ‘kiss me, kiss me, do you love me’ see how screwed up that would be?

(THIS REPEATS THE CONFLICT BETWEEN YOUR GOD-SELF & FLESH, THE FLESH–As I think about this it appears that SHE is the one who’s insecure, as much or moreso than the baby, & that’s why she’s so greedy/jealous about him—won’t allow me to hold him. THE FLESH WAS NOT LETTING GO, I SCOLD HER ON THAT.)

After they found I don’t have a printer, the Hindus said it’s OK, they’ll do what they have to do in the morning—go out somewhere, find a printer & do their mailing. (The one guy reassures everyone twice about this.)

Then I’m busy doing things & I don’t see Zar or her baby & entourage anywhere. I am SURPRISED when I go to the MIDDLE ROOM (in my apt this would be the bedroom) & they are PACKING UP ALL MY THINGS TO TAKE AWAY WITH THEM. This is being done without asking me or saying anything. And when I walk in Zar & the guys are all talking to each other, not explaining anything to me at all.

They’re taking everything I own, everything, in this room, neatly packing it up into large boxes.

One type of item is ‘decorator pillows’ like I used to have long ago. They are bright satin, oranges, reds, they have neatly stacked them all into a box, dozens of them.

Then there’s FLAGS, also of bring orange, reds, all on blonde wooden poles – I don’t need them any more either let them have them. I explain,

“I bought them because I was going to do this publicity stunt & was going to line up the flags along the street to attract people – but I didn’t do the stunt & not going to so don’t need the flags. And I add,

“You can have everything here because I was going to get all new things anyway.”

It was an unusual feeling. It was like I wasn’t going to ENRICH Zar or her people in any way, but they wanted something, so they’re going to take whatever they can. To me, these things no longer have value so it doesn’t upset me at all. Just seems strange they didn’t even ask.

(THIS FINAL ACT IS SAYING ‘YOU ARE A NEW PERSON’ – ALL THE OLD IS BEING TAKEN AWAY. {The new personality in Nonduality is taking away all your old concepts between you & Raj.}

THE ‘HOOPLA’ (FLAGS) YOU WERE GOING TO DO WITH RAJ – TURNING HIM INTO A STAR MAKING A BIG SPECTACLE OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP – YOU AREN’T GOING TO DO. TAKE WASTED EFFORT/STRESS OF THIS AWAY. Flags IN THE STREET means ‘to the public’ brought to the attention of the world—‘Your business in the street’ is everyone knows about it.

THE PILLOWS, MOSTLY RED, IN THE CONTEXT OF THIS, ARE YOU AREN’T GOING TO SUFFER ANY MORE, NO MORE ANXIETY, ATTACHMENT OR PAIN. Pillows: where your head rests. Is it an easy place, fluffy, white, clean & pure? Or if it’s red it’s pain. TAKE IT AWAY. ALL NOT NEEDED IS BEING TAKEN AWAY. IT SEEMS AUTOMATIC, NO DISCUSSION OR RITUALS, IT’S JUST DONE. I was going to get everything new anyway means a new consciousness.)

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Shrine to Shakti, Uncategorized

ONE SOUL ASCENDS 2 HELPED

I REACH 3 SOULS IN PURGATORY-ONE WITH A SACRED KISS-ANOTHER BENEFITS FROM THE HOLY EUCHARIST

Xxxx CAN’T UNDERSTAND WHY I’M AVOIDING HIM

I am on the RR track right between my property with the path to the pond/river directly on the left. There sits a young male who is very beautiful, like an angel from Heaven. He has soft, smooth, tawny skin, perfect features, nice nose with oval nostrils, he’s sitting on something, don’t know what. It vaguely feels like I’m forbidden to be intimate with him – don’t know why, but I decide to take matters into my own hands.

I go over to him & give him a peck on his left cheek & this peck turns into a real kiss, both ways, which goes on for a while. I was real happy over this, that he reciprocated, wanted the kiss as much as I did.

(THIS SOUNDS LIKE THE KISSES I MAKE FOR THE SOULS IN PURGATORY. I MAKE TEN HUGS & TEN KISSES ON BOTH CHEEKS FOR SOULS, AT THE END OF EVERY MASS. SOMETIMES I WONDER IF THEY FEEL ANY OF IT. THIS SAYS SOMEONE DID.

THE CLUE IT’S A SOUL IS THE CHEEK. I KISS ON THE CHEEK, IT’S NOT SEXY. BUT WHEN IT TURNS INTO SOMETHING INTIMATE, RECIPROCAL, IT SHOWS A DEPTH, AN EMOTION. THE KISS WAS FELT, IT WAS RETURNED BY A SOUL.

I NOW RECALL DURING THE NIGHT AS I WAS IN A ‘TWILIGHTSTATE’ I HEARD SOMEONE SAY ‘I LOVE YOU.’ IT WAS A SOUL – I HAVE HEARD THIS THOUGHT BEFORE FROM BOTH LIVING PERSONS & SOULS. MAYBE THIS SOUL SAID IT.

ANOTHER CLUE IT’S PURGATORY IS THE SPOT WHERE HE’S ‘SITTING.’

THE RAIL ROAD TRACK IS A ‘NO MAN’S LAND.’ IT’S OWNERSHIP IS NOT CERTAIN. IT PROBABLY BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE, TO DISCOVER IF I HAVE RIGHTS OVER IT WOULD COST ME THOUSANDS TO RESEARCH THE DEEDS BEFORE 1890. PURGATORY IS ALSO A ‘NO MAN’S LAND’ BECAUSE TO REACH A SOUL IS A MILESTONE– ONE MUST HAVE SOME KIND OF HELP AS FROM A SAINT IN HEAVEN OR AN ANGEL, WHO CONNECTS YOU TO THE SOUL IN A SPACE WHERE THERE ARE UNTOLD TRILLIONS.

AN IMPORTANT CLUE IS THIS PERSON/SOUL IS SITTING BETWEEN TWO AREAS ON MY LAND. HE IS NOT DIRECTLY ON MY LAND (MY DOMAIN, A PLACE IN SPACE/SPIRIT I OWN OR HAVE JURISDICTION OVER) BUT MY DOMAIN IS ON BOTH SIDES. BUT THE PATH THERE LEADS TO WATER – WATER MEANS GRACE, A BIG SYMBOL OF IT.

{*SO IS FIRE IN SOME CASES, BUT EACH SYMBOL MUST BE READ IN THE CONTEXT OF THE DREAM. BOTH WATER & FIRE CAN GO BOTH WAYS, DESTRUCTIVE OR CONSTRUCTIVE. FOR INSTANCE, WHEN FINANCIAL INSTITUTIONS CALL THEMSELVES AN ‘UMBRELLA’ THEY ARE SAYING AGAINST THE WATER OF FINANCIAL LOSS. WHEN SOMEONE ‘RAINS ON YOUR PARADE’ THEY ARE SPOILING YOUR GOOD TIMES. WHEN WATER FLOODS YOUR HOME IT’S DISASTER.

BUT, WHEN RAIN COMES AFTER A DROUGHT, IT’S A BLESSING. WHEN I SAW GOD FACE TO FACE THE FIRST TIME, IT WAS A RIVER GUSHING OUT OF A MOUNTAIN, CASCADING VIOLENTLY INTO A GORGE WAY DOWN UNDERNEATH ME. THIS WAS THE TORRENT OF GOD’S GRACE COMING INTO MY SOUL.

THE SECOND TIME, IT WAS THE INFINITE GOLDEN OCEAN OF LOVE, THE OCEAN WAS GOD, BUT IT WAS ALSO ME, & THE HORIZON OPENED UP CONTINUOUSLY, THERE WAS NO STOP TO IT.*}

THIS PATH LEADS TO MY POND IN THE WOODS, THE SWAMP, & MOST OF ALL, THE RIVER. IT’S A CLICHÉ TO SAY “RIVER OF GRACE.” THE SOUL IS JUST SITTING IN PURGATORY WAITING FOR GRACE, I COME ALONG. THIS IS SAYING HE RECEIVED THE GRACE & WAS GRATEFUL. HIS BEAUTY TELLS ME THAT HE’S NOT FAR FROM HEAVEN, ALMOST READY TO ASCEND? OR DID HE ASCEND?) IT MIGHT BE MORE LIKELY HE DID ASCEND THAN NOT, AS THIS IS EXTREMELY RARE THAT A SOUL WOULD BE SO BEAUTIFUL & RECIPROCATE MY KISS!

A SOUL BEING ‘BEAUTIFUL’ MEANS IT’S CLEANSED. DURING THE TIME IN PURGATORY, THE SOUL GETS CLEANER & CLEANER, & THEREFORE MORE BEAUTIFUL AS THE NATURE OF GOD IS REVEALED–& GOD IS TRUTH, BEAUTY & LOVE. WE ALL HAVE GOD WITHIN, BUT SIN OBSCURES OUR TRUE NATURE, LIKE PUTTING FILTH ON A PANE OF TRANSPARENT GLASS. THE TIME IN PURGATORY REMOVES THAT FILTH OR OBSCURITY.)

Then the scene changes. It seems I’m alone all the time – feeling kind of isolated. I go out for a walk & come upon a lumber yard. Here there are logs that are 1.5’ in diameter, dozens of them on a cart, many carts. The whole yard is filled with all these felled trees, sawed up where only the thick, usable part of them is here, ready to be sawed into planks for building I suppose.

(LUMBER IN MY DREAMS IS USUALLY THE CROSS. I AM IN PURGATORY, WHERE PEOPLE ARE WORKING OFF THEIR KARMA, THE CROSSES THEY DID NOT FINISH CARRYING ON EARTH, I’M HERE TO HELP THEM PAY THEIR DEBT.

THESE BIG TREES, SO MANY OF THEM, ARE GETTING READY TO BE MADE INTO ‘CROSSES’ OR TORTURES FOR THESE SOULS TO ENDURE.

I AM ALONE, MENTALLY, PSYCHOLOGICALLY, IN A GOOD PLACE TO MEET SOULS IN PURGATORY & I MEET TWO OF THEM.)

Here there are two men. One is in a semi-enclosed room, the other is just outside that room working, stooping on the ground doing something.

(THESE TWO MEN I MAKE CONTACT WITH, ONE IS CLEANER THAN THE OTHER. THE ONE INSIDE A ROOM IS SEMI-CONFINED, THE ONE STOOPING DOWN IS A CLUE HE MIGHT BE IN PRAYER, HUMBLE, AS IF KNEELING CLOSE TO THE GROUND, POSSIBLY PRAYING FOR HELP–& THAT WOULD BE WHY I COME ALONG.)

I engage the one outside the room, not because I’m attracted to him – not attracted to either one of these guys – just want someone to talk to. The one in the room I vaguely see a female behind him, she’s sort of ‘foggy’ to my sight.

I know they are both at a paid job & I’m lucky they can pay attention to me away from their work. If the boss was around he might take issue with me interfering, but he’s apparently not around.

(I’M SAYING THIS IS NOT ON THE HUMAN PLANE, ME LOOKING FOR HOTTIES, THIS IS ME WANTING TO CONNECT WITH SOULS FOR SPIRITUAL PURPOSES.

WHO IS THE BOSS THAT MIGHT STOP ME? IT’S SAYING THAT GOD IS NOT AROUND AS A ‘MEAN, TASK MASTER BOSS’, GOD HAS ABSENTED HIS/HER WRATH, SO TO SPEAK, FOR ME TO MINISTER TO THEM.

ALSO THE ONE IN THE ROOM SEEMS LIKE THE LADY BEHIND HIM COULD BE HOLY MARY OR ANOTHER SAINT. HE MIGHT HAVE PRAYED TO HER, SO SHE’S PRESENT TO HELP HIM. IT COULD ALSO BE HIS GUARDIAN ANGEL. GUARDIAN ANGELS STAY WITH US THROUGH OUR PURGATORY, SO I HEARD.)

After a while the one I’m talking to & I go away somewhere. We’re doing something & we return in about 20 minutes.

(TWENTY MINUTES IS AN AVERAGE TIME FOR MY MASS. SOMETIMES THEY ARE LESS, SOMETIMES I PRAY FOR HOURS. THIS WOULD BE CONNECTING THIS MAN WITH THE MASS—PERHAPS HE WAS ON HIS KNEES ASKING FOR A MASS.)

When we do so the one in the room – who is tall, thin, dark haired, gives a knowing look, even nods his head somehow to show he ASSUMES WE WENT AWAY TO HAVE SEX.

(HE ASSUMES WE WERE ‘HAVING SEX.’ THIS COULD BE TAKEN TWO WAYS. IN MY DREAMS HAVING SEX CAN BE THE GREATEST INTIMACY, WHERE DURING SEX, I GIVE SPIRITUAL LOVE OF THE HIGHEST KIND, & HE ASCENDS INTO HEAVEN. DID THIS SECOND SOUL RECOGNIZE THE INTIMACY & ACKNOWLEDGE IT, OR DID HE THINK IT WAS SOMETHING LOWER ?)

This is not true at all,

(THIS SEEMS TO SAY HE ASSUMED IT WAS OF A LOWER NATURE, BUT THE LOAF OF BREAD AGAINST THE MAN’S CHEST EXPLAINS IT IS SPIRITUAL.)

& the other guy returns with his arms full of a few things he got in stores – which explains our time away, not sex, doing some purchases. He sees to be holding for one thing, a long loaf of bread against his chest, like what they call ‘French’ or ‘Italian,’ those long ones like over a foot long, not very wide, white bread.

(THIS WHITE BREAD IS UNMISTAKABLY ‘EUCHARIST.’ I WENT AWAY WITH A SOUL OR TOOK HIM ‘AWAY OR ASIDE’ FOR GRACE – HE’S HOLDING THE EUCHARIST TO HIS CHEST WHICH MEANS HEART – HE RECEIVED THE GRACE.)

ANOTHER DREAM: xxxx CANNOT FATHOM WHY I’M AVOIDING HIM

There was a young man who went some place where I’m close by, & there’s a line of suitcases there, nice ones, in all colors including red, many, maybe thirty suitcases.

(THE SUITCASES ARE THE POSSIBLE REASONS I’M NOT SEEING HIM.)

He wants to get somewhere or ‘get at’ something & he takes each suitcase & throws it behind him, in an intense way, kind of frustrated. When he throws them backward they go like 15-20’, quite a throw. I especially note the bright red suitcase going backward. He’s almost mad, not quite. Reminds me somehow of ‘the mad hatter.’ Or a badger digging out a den intently, doesn’t want any interruptions from anyone, makes short work of any animal that disrupts his task.

(THIS SOUNDS LIKE xxxx TRYING TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF WHY I’M NOT SEEING HIM. HE’S FRUSTRATED & CAN’T GET IT.

I’VE BEEN DOING EXORCISMS EVERY DAY AGAINST HIS DEMONS – ONE OF THEM WAS ANGER. SO THIS IS SAYING HE ISN’T ANGRY, THAT DEMON IS GONE..

HE THROWS ASIDE ‘BAGGAGE.’ BAGGAGE IS NEGATIVES ONE CARRIES AROUND – THEIR BAD ACTIONS, TRAITS, SINS OR WHATEVER HOLDS THEM BACK.

HE’S GOING THROUGH EVERY ITEM TO FIGURE OUT WHAT WENT WRONG, INCLUDING THE RED SUITCASE MEANING PAIN OR SUFFERING.

{AGAIN, RED HAS MANY MEANINGS & HAS TO BE DISCERNED IN THE CONTEXT OF THE DREAM. IT CAN MEAN ‘STOP’ – IT CAN MEAN ‘I WAS RED WITH EMBARRASSMENT,’ BUT IN MOST OF MY DREAMS, THE RED IS BLOOD & STANDS FOR RECENT SUFFERINGS OLD SUFFERINGS ARE PURPLE.}

BUT HE CANNOT FIGURE OUT WHY I’M AVOIDING HIM.

I NOTICE THE RED SUITCASE BEING THROWN ASIDE IS HE DISMISSES THE PAIN HE GAVE ME– IN OTHER WORDS,

photo

“SHE COULD NOT BE IGNORING ME BECAUSE OF THE PAIN I GAVE HER.”

THAT MEANS HE THINKS IT WAS OK TO GIVE ME PAIN. AND BELIEVING THAT, HE CANNOT GET TO THE BOTTOM OF HIS DILEMMA. )

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Shrine to Shakti, Uncategorized

GOD ENJOYS LIFE-SOUL ASCENDS

1-17-20-GOD ENJOYING LIFE-LEELA-&-A SOUL ASCENDS 1-16-20

This dream exemplifies what ‘Leela’ or ‘Lila’ is as a state of Yoga.

I am somewhere in the back yard someplace which has wide fields behind the house. Someone has brought in a motorcycle & I decide to ride it.

I get on it & away I go, fast, through the fields. It feels Heavenly, a smooth ride, not a care in the world, totally free & happy. The fields are hard, very little growth to interfere; the greenery is sparse.

I return to the precincts of the house & as I examine the motorcycle, it seems different parts of it are falling apart, not the engine – that part’s fine, but the parts of the handlebars & the seat, I have to fix & adjust, they are made of ‘ticky tacky,’ more like a child’s toy than an adult cycle.

I also notice then the puddles. They aren’t dirty, they’re clear, they’re shallow, but I ask someone is it ok for the motorcycle to get wet?

I also worried if I was authorized to take the cycle out, as it wasn’t mine, & I want to go out with it again, vaguely see that I do but these concerns are on my mind.

MEANING: This dream explains Leela, which you prayed for last night – how we experience God Consciousness when still on earth.

When you first use the motorcycle & dash away, you have no worries, fears or concerns on your mind. You’re seeing the big picture, the joy of the ride, which is having faith, hope & happiness.

But when a person falls down to the minutiae of life – the details of things not right, the worries & fears, they lose that big picture & their bliss or joy, then God isn’t in their consciousness.

You see all the worries, fears, like the puddles, do you have the right to use this thing? That ends joy & bliss.

1-16-20-A SOUL ASCENDS

In this dream I have a cardboard box open in front of me. To the right seems food wrapped up, but in the open box to the left is a parcel that makes me uncomfortable.

It’s round, covered in a sort of shiny silver material, it’s about 8” in diameter, the paper on it is folded behind it. The front has the Leaves of Victory—laurel leaves in green, a pic of a garland over the top & the bottom, with writing on it. I try to read the writing but can’t.

What makes me uncomfortable is I believe this parcel has the remains of a person inside – somehow condensed. I keep thinking, keep trying to read, keep thinking & being uncomfortable.

MEANING: A SOUL HAS ASCENDED! The food on the right is the way by which this soul ascended: The Holy Eucharist, the Food of the Body & Blood of Jesus & Mary, which you’ve been celebrating.

The way the body of the ascended soul is represented has two clues: First, the writing on it – you don’t know who it is, but the laurel leaves of victory tell you there’s been a major victory here. And silver to you has the meaning of permanence or ‘forever.’ Whoopee!

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Shrine to Shakti, Uncategorized

OUR DESTINIES

1-17-20 OUR DESTINIES

LETTERS BETWEEN WILLIAM BOND, Xxx & RASA

HI WILLIAM

IT IS EXTREMELY DIFFICULT TO KNOW HOW THE WORLD WOULD BE WHEN WOMEN ‘RULE THE WORLD’ AS THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A WORLD LIKE OURS RULED BY THEM. LAST TIME WE RULED WE HAD VILLAGES OF NO MORE THAN 15K (FROM WHAT MARIJA GIMBUTAS EXPLAINED) & BESIDES THAT THE SOCIETIES WERE HUNTER-GATHERERS.

ALL I CAN SAY IS FOLLOW YOUR HEART. FOR A WHILE YOU RESEARCHED & PROMOTED THE TOPIC OF THE FEMALE MERMAIDS & YOU GOT HUGE RESPONSES TO THAT, YOU BECAME THE FOREMOST AUTHORITY OF MERMAIDS IN THE WORLD. THAT WAS QUITE AN ACCOMPLISHMENT – WHO WOULD HAVE EVER THOUGHT YOU’D GET INTO THAT FIELD?

AT THE SAME TIME YOU DID THAT – THOSE SAME FIVE OR SO YEARS – I WENT INTO A FIELD NEVER ANTICIPATED, BECOMING A COUGAR AFTER 30 YRS OF CELIBACY & A PHOTOGRAPHER OF THE ‘WORLD’S MOST BEAUTIFUL MEN.’

WHAT A DEPARTURE WE BOTH MADE FROM OUR USUAL MATRIARCHAL WORK, YET IT WAS MATRIARCHAL, BUT DIFFERENT. WE FOLLOWED OUR HEARTS.

I AM NO LONGER ‘TURNED ON’ OR STIMULATED BY THE SUBJECT OF BEAUTIFUL YOUNG MEN. IN FACT, MY WEBMAN THINKS MY LATEST BOOK ON THEM SHOULD BE PROMOTED & I COULD, FOR THE FIRST TIME, MAKE SOME MONEY OFF MY BOOKS. BUT I TOLD HIM

“I CAN’T STAND THE THOUGHT OF THEM. THEY REPULSE ME.”

I COULD NEVER IMAGINE THAT I WOULD ENTER THAT FIELD, & ONCE IN IT, COULD NOT IMAGINE EXITING IT, BUT I DID.

ARE YOU STILL INTRIGUED BY THE MERMAID ISSUE OR DONE WITH IT?

THERE WAS A BOOK THAT WAS FAMOUS (PUBLISHED 1976) – GAIL SHEEHY’S “PASSAGES.” I READ IT. I JUST LOOKED HER UP – DID NOT EVEN KNOW CELEBRATED SHE IS.

AFTER THE WRITING OF THE ‘NEW RELIGION’ I WAS UNABLE TO EVEN THINK ABOUT THE SUBJECT, COULD NOT GO ON ANY MORE. SO THERE IS ONE DOOR CLOSED, BUT ANOTHER DOOR OPENED.

FOR A WHILE YOU HEARD MY LAMENTS ABOUT BEING BURNT OUT & FIGHTING DEMONS – THE LATTER IS PROBABLY THE MORE PERTINENT ONE – JUST BECAUSE I WAS FINISHED WITH A SUBJECT I CAN’T SAY I WAS ‘BURNT OUT’, ONLY FINISHED. BUT THE LATTER YES, I EXORCISED THE DEMONS OF xxxx SO THEY HAVE FOR NOW LEFT BOTH OF US ALONE – I AM SPRINKLING HOLY WATER THROUGH MY HOUSE DAILY TO KEEP THEM AWAY.

DURING THIS EPISODE I ALSO SPENT MY EVENINGS WATCHING VIDEOS ABOUT SAINTS INSTEAD OF SECULAR SUBJECTS, & THIS HELPED ME GET MY BEARINGS. LAST NIGHT I ENDED UP WITH RAMANA MAHARSHI, THE GURU OF NONDUALITY, WHICH IS WHERE I LEFT OFF YEARS AGO – 2007 – HIM BEING MY ‘LAST GURU.’ I DID DO A COUPLE OF CHAPTERS FOR THE RELIGION ON HIS ZEITGEIST BUT I DID NOT PLUNGE INTO IT COMPLETELY.

AS OF LAST NIGHT I HAVE PLUNGED IN. I SPENT THE NIGHT WATCHING HIS VIDEOS, THEN SPOKE TO HIM FOR A WHILE (CHANNELING HIM IN HEAVEN), AND TODAY I SPENT FOUR HOURS IN MEDITATION, MUCH INSPIRED BY HIM.

I HAVE NOW FIGURED OUT – I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN – WHAT EXACTLY GOD MEANT WHEN SHE SAID ‘QUIT THE CELIBACY, STOP SUFFERING & HAVE FUN.’

I SPOKE ABOUT A THING ON MY WEBSITE CALLED ‘LEELA’ OR ‘LILA’ IN THE YOGA PERSUASION, BUT I WAS NOT FULLY PRACTICING IT, BECAUSE I SUFFERED SO MUCH WITH THIS ‘HAVE FUN’ BUSINESS, IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE. I WAS PLAGUED BY ANXIETY FIGHTING THE LOW MINDEDNESS OF THE WORLD, THE FLESH & THE ONSLAUGHTS OF THE DEVIL, ESPECIALLY AFTER I FELL IN LOVE.

NOW THINGS ARE QUIETED DOWN & I WILL TRY AGAIN. LEELA IS WHEN GOD ENJOYS LIFE ON EARTH. IT MEANS WHEN WE PERSONALLY EXPERIENCE LIFE, OUR CONSCIOUSNESS OF GOD IS PRESENT, GOD IN US DOES EVERYTHING, EVEN DRINKING ALCOHOL & HAVING SEX. THIS IS WHAT I FOUND SO DIFFICULT, TO DO THESE HUMAN, PHYSICAL THINGS WITHOUT AT SOME POINT FALLING TO THE LEVEL OF THE FLESH MENTALITY. I WAS UNABLE TO KEEP MY MIND ON GOD – WHICH WOULD BE LEELA – & I FELL INTO JEALOUSY, CONFUSION, YEARNING, DESIRES & LOW MINDEDNESS, ALL OF WHICH CARRY TURMOIL, MISERY & ALL THE TORTURES WE KNOW.

I THINK THIS WAS THE CHALLENGE GOD WANTED ME TO MASTER. I HAD TO ENJOY THESE ‘PLEASURES’ WITHOUT ATTACHMENT, WITHOUT YEARNING, ALLOWING THEM TO HAPPEN OR NOT, NOT CHASING OR PURSUING OR FEELING PAIN WHEN MY PLEASURES WERE NOT MET (MOST OF THE TIME I WAS FRUSTRATED, REJECTED OR USED, NOT LOVED, SO IT WASN’T FUN.) SO THERE’S A HUGE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN EXPERIENCING LIFE IN THE FLESH, THE MIND IN THE FLESH, OR EXPERIENCING THE SAME THING WITH GOD UPPERMOST IN THE MIND. BUT IS THIS EASY? IT’S ONE OF THE GREATEST CHALLENGES I’VE EVER MET, BUT I THINK I AM PAST FALLING DOWN & CAN MAINTAIN THE HIGH CONSCIOUSNESS NOW. I WILL TRY.

AFTER I FELL IN LOVE, MY GREATEST FEAR WAS LOSING xxxx BUT WE HAD A MYSTICAL MARRIAGE (2019) & THAT DISSOLVED–BIT BY BIT–MY FEAR. NOW I CAN ‘LET HIM GO’ BECAUSE I KNOW I WON’T LOSE HIM, SO I NO LONGER HAVE ‘ATTACHMENT’ & WITH IT ‘ANXIETY.’ AND SO NOW I AM FREE. BUT HE ISN’T AS HE IS YOUNG & DOESN’T UNDERSTAND. THE TABLES MUST NOW TURN. I LET HIM GO BUT HE HAS TO HOLD ONTO ME. I CAN CONCENTRATE ON GOD, NOT HIM, WITHOUT LOSING HIM, BECAUSE IF HIS LOVE IS TRUE & DEEP, HE WILL PURSUE ME & HOLD ONTO ME BUT I DON’T HAVE TO HAVE THE FEAR I USED TO. MY FREEDOM FROM ATTACHMENT GIVES ME THE OPPORTUNITY TO PRACTICE ‘LEELA.’

THAT IS THE ‘PASSAGE’ I AM GOING THROUGH NOW.

ANOTHER THING. I HAVE BEEN CONCERNED ABOUT FINISHED MY WORK. ONE OF THE THINGS I CAN DO THAT FEW PEOPLE CAN IS THE INTERPRETATION OF DREAMS. I AM REALLY GOOD AT THIS, I WANT TO LEAVE BEHIND BEFORE I DIE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE OF THIS SUBJECT, IF I DON’T, ALL MY KNOWLEDGE WILL BE LOST. THE ONE BOOK I PUBLISHED IS BUT LIKE 5% OR LESS OF WHAT I KNOW, I COULD FILL AN ENCYCLOPEDIA WITH ALL THE SYMBOLS I UNDERSTAND. BUT I HAVE BEEN WORRYING – WHEN WILL I HAVE THE TIME TO DO THIS? ESPECIALLY WHEN xxxx COMES TO LIVE WITH ME, I’LL BE BUSY WITH HIM.

I HAVE NOTICED, HOWEVER, THAT I LIKE WRITING DOWN MY DREAMS EVERY TIME I HAVE THEM, WHICH IS ALMOST NIGHTLY. IT ISN’T HARD AT ALL, NO MATTER WHAT – I HAVE MANY THOUSANDS OF DREAMS ON AUDIO TAPE & ON THE COMPUTER. SINCE I AM WRITING/INTERPRETING THEM DAILY THEN WHY NOT JUST POP THEM ONTO MY WEBSITE? AND THE MOST IMPORTANT ONES, ON OUR BLOG? WHY NOT?

BECAUSE I FEARED I MIGHT NOT HAVE TIME TO MAKE ‘FORMAL’ BOOKS & PUT THEM INTO BOOK FORM & PUBLISH THEM, BUT THIS IS A WAY OF DOING IT. JUST DO IT ‘AS IS’ – GIVING COPIOUS EXPLANATIONS OF THE SYMBOLS WITH EVERY DREAM INSTEAD OF MAKING A ‘DREAM DICTIONARY’ WHICH WOULD BE MORE TEDIOUS. THIS WAY I GET IT DONE. THAT’S MY PLAN NOW.

AND ALSO I WANT TO FINISH EXPLAINING MY LIFE BEFORE I DIE. MY WEBMAN JUST FINISHED EDITING BOOK 2 OF MY LIFE, THIS HAS TO BE ILLUSTRATED & PUBLISHED. THEN I’LL DO BOOK 3 & THAT SHOULD COVER IT. I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE BEHIND WRONG ASSUMPTIONS, DELUSIONS & THE HALLUCINATIONS PEOPLE HAVE ABOUT ME. I NEED TO LEAVE BEHIND MATERIAL THAT EXPLAINS MY LIFE AS WELL AS IT CAN BE EXPLAINED. IF I DON’T, THEY WILL BASTARDIZE IT. I ESPECIALLY DO NOT WANT THE LOW MINDED TO TURN MY LIFE INTO A PORN / SEXUAL / GOTTA’ HAVE A GIMMICK / LOW MINDED / MATERIALISTIC SYNOPSIS. MY LIFE IS THE GRACE OF GOD & THIS IS WHAT MUST BE EXPLAINED IN ABSOLUTE DETAIL. EVEN WHEN THEY DO DOCUMENTARIES ON MY LIFE OR ASK ME QUESTIONS, PEOPLE ARE SO LOW MINDED, THEY INEVITABLY DRAG MY LIFE DOWN.

AND SO, AS FAR AS WHAT YOU SAY, I BELIEVE YOU’LL FIND A ROAD FOR YOURSELF SOON, AS ‘NATURE ABHORS A VACUUM’ & WE ALL NEED SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT, WORK ON & LOOK FORWARD TO, SO I KNOW YOU WILL FIND SOMETHING GREAT TO DO.…BEST WISHES, RASA

From xxx—Good morning, Rasa. It sounds like you have a good plan overall, and had indeed gotten some great insights, particularly about Leela versus attachment. That makes a lot of sense overall, and I wish you the best.

I will note that different audiences will likely require different versions of the message tailored specifically to such audiences. Marketing is important. Most people, to one degree or another, seem to want to know “what’s in it for me”, so that will of course need to be addressed. Try to figure out what makes a particular demographic (or psychographic) group “tick”, as it were, and then try to appeal to that while still remaining accurately on point about the topic at hand…..best of luck to you both, and have a nice day…..xxx

from William Bond

I think I have said everything I wanted to say about Mermaids, Rasa I don’t think I have any more to add.

I agree it is easy to stay spiritual if you remain celibate and live in a cave somewhere but a lot more difficult if you live a life of an ordinary person. But I think it is important for spiritual people to mix with normal people. The reason is that if all spiritual people hide themselves away, then they don’t pass on the knowledge they gain through communicating with spirit, to the world.

Unfortunately most people cut themselves off from spirit and take more notice of what other people tell them than listening to unlimited wisdom of the ONE. As Jesus said, “when the blind led the blind both fall in the ditch.” This is why the world is in such a mess.

The trouble is that the more we communicate with spirit the more we move away from conventional wisdom and that causes problems. We see this throughout history, when anyone challenges conventional wisdom, people don’t like it and fight back.

Years ago I did like your stance on, “I strip for God”. This is what Jesus tried to do, bring the spirit into all aspects of life. And you are doing the same with your relationships with younger men. It is also what we find in Taoism and Tantra of bringing spirituality into our sex-life. The idea of cutting spirituality away from sex, is why it causes so many problems for people.

The spirit inspires us to do these things but once we are on the path we have to keep in contact with spirit because as we both have discovered, when we lose that contact, things start to go wrong. That is why recently I have been trying to do more meditation……William

HI FRIENDS

THANKS FOR THE GOOD LETTERS.

THIS NIGHT I PRAYED FOR ‘LEELA’ & GOD SHOWED ME A BIG DREAM. YESTERDAY I DREAMED ABOUT “FREEDOM” WHICH I THINK MEANT “NONDUALITY.” I WROTE IT DOWN BUT DID NOT YET INTERPRET IT. AND THIS LEELA DREAM I HAVE NOT TYPED YET OR INTERPRETED. I WILL DO THE WORK ON THE DREAMS, PUT THEM ON MY SITE & PRESENT THEM TO YOU FOR OUR BLOG ALSO. AS I SAID, I THINK THIS IS THE WAY FOR ME TO GO FOR THE TIME BEING, AS IT’S WHERE MY MIND IS.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO A POINT, THAT xxx BROUGHT UP. xxx, I HAVE A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE TO THE QUESTION WILLIAM RAISED – AS TO WHAT HE SHOULD DO NEXT. YOU FORGET ONE THING. WE ARE NOT MACHINES, WHICH POP OUT ON DEMAND WHAT THE WORLD WANTS. TO BE HONEST, WE CAN SAY “FUKK THE WORLD, IT’S GOD & MY HEART THAT COUNTS” BUT AT THE SAME TIME, WE SAVE THE WORLD WHEN WE FOLLOW OUR HEART!

IT IS OUR HEART THAT TELLS US WHAT’S RIGHT FOR US TO DO AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT IN LIFE, BECAUSE WE MUST SERVE / LOVE OURSELVES AS WELL AS OUR NEIGHBOR. IF WE GO AGAINST THE GRAIN OF OUR OWN SOUL OR DESIRE, WE ARE ACTUALLY DESTROYING OR SACRIFICING OURSELVES (MARTYRDOM, WHICH IS SOMETIMES THE RIGHT THING TO DO, BUT NOT ALWAYS!) — & IT DOES NOT HELP THE WORLD. HERE IS HOW AN ARTIST WORKS & HOW ANYONE MUST WORK: FOLLOW YOUR HEART, & YOUR ART WILL HAVE MEANING. IF YOU PAINT WHAT THE PUBLIC WANTS, (AS YOU SUGGEST TEST THE MARKET & FULFILL THE NEED) & YOUR HEART IS NOT THERE, THE ART IS NOT ALIVE WITH YOUR INNER EMOTIONS – NO MATTER HOW SKILLED IT’S ‘DEAD.’

I DO NOT RECOMMEND WILLIAM TEST THE MARKET & FULFILL THEIR NEEDS, I BELIEVE THE WAY OF MEDITATION, IS THE RIGHT ONE. AS HE GETS HIS MIND ON GOD, THE UNCONSCIOUS, THE DEEP SOUL, WILL SOONER OR LATER WELL UP IN HIM & GIVE HIM A VISION, AN UNDERSTANDING & A DESIRE, & THAT IS WHAT HE FOLLOWS. FUKK THE WORLD. THIS IS THE ‘BROAD HIGHWAY TO HELL’ WHERE EVERYONE GOES, FOLLOWING EACH OTHER, LOOKING AT STYLES, FASHIONS & TRENDS, REPEATING CLICHES, ETC. THEY THINK THEY’RE BEING ‘SMART’ BUT IT’S THE WISDOM OF THE WORLD, THEY’RE ALL FOLLOWING EACH OTHER & REALLY NOT DOING ANYTHING ORIGINAL. (I AM NOT SUGGESTING NONE OF US BORROWS FROM THE PAST, WE ARE ALL PRODUCTS OF WHAT WENT ON BEFORE US EVERY DAY IN EVERY WAY. BUT WE MUST BE CHOOSY AS TO WHICH PART OF THE PAST WE MIGHT BORROW FROM.)….. RASA

Xxx I REREAD YOUR LETTER & I SEE YOU DID STATE TO WILLIAM TO FOLLOW HIS HEART PRIOR TO SAYING TEST THE MARKET, SO I AGREE, IT ISN’T WRONG TO UNDERSTAND A MARKET, JUST CAN’T BE THE MAIN THING.

Embodiment of God

A presentation of the University of Mother God Church

It’s Not a Catholic World any More

MATRIARCHY OUR ONLY HOPE

from AJAX the GREAT with comments by Rasa Von Werder

Saturday, December 5, 2020

Female Empowerment Is Still Our Only Hope

Bottom line, Women need to get into as many positions of power as possible, in as many places at as many levels as possible, as quickly as possible. Time is running out.

So go forth and make old Buckminster Fuller proud!

(See also a previous article here as well for a more detailed discussion on the ultimate kill switch to smash the patriarchy.)

RASA SAYS: “Can Female Power Save the Planet”? It is the ONLY HOPE.

When women ruled & Mother God was worshiped, there were no wars or weapons of war. See the studies of Marija Gimbutas, anthropologist.

When men overpowered the planet starting 7K years ago, there began the Age of Kali, an era of evil which is mercifully short lived, so say the sages.

What is wrong with Patriarchy? It is male nature at its core. Males want to FIGHT – they want power & authority, to build harems. See the work of Dr. Bryan Sykes, “Adam’s Curse, a Future Without Men.” They cannot think outside the box, this is the box they are in & will forever stay.

The nature of women is to take care of people, they have compassion & mercy. Their nature will never change, they will always be care givers.

Rasa Von Werder 12-5-2020

HIS, HERS & THE TRUTH

HIS, HERS & THE TRUTH

12-1-20-THREE WINDOWS – CLOSING RESTAURANTS

In this dream there will also be a sister I share a room with – another part of me, the pragmatic self, smart, but not God. It is the God that must prevail, dominate, make the decisions, no other part of oneself, & when another part takes over, there come the falls.

So in the last dream my Higher Self wins the day, in this dream my daughter/flesh does not even appear, but the pragmatic flesh is here in spirit, I, God, am correcting her.)*

This part of the dream ends & I am at the OLD FARMHOUSE in my bedroom. I am looking through one of the THREE WINDOWS, the one on the right. Below me is the yard, all is GREEN, BEAUTIFUL, fertile. There is the large Oak tree, bushes & shade, & beyond that, nice sunshine in the field.

*(OLD FARMHOUSE, MY ROOM, 3 WINDOWS: The 3 windows suggests an answer to something, ‘his, hers & the truth.’

And so I see that beneath my window, domain is the SOLID PERMANENT OAK TREE – the Oak tree has the deepest TAP ROOT of any tree I know – it’s almost impossible to pull a tiny Oak out of the ground – I have tried. This represents PERMANENCE, A DEEP, PERMANENT RELATIONSHIP.

The SHADE here is PROTECTION. People seek trees for shade, shade protects from sunburn especially {you see the sun yonder but those who come here want the shade}. The sun in the context of this dream would be GETTING BURNED, which means HURT.

The green / fertility of this area is the LIFE / PROSPERITY / ABUNDANCE of ME. Whoever seeks this area, beneath my window, seeks my protection & prosperity. This will answer the query of why Lover comes to me – because he needs these factors.)*

There are some BOY-TEENS here – neighbors – who took it upon themselves to visit my yard to play. It doesn’t bother me, I’m happy they are finding rest / recreation on my property, & notice they stay in the SHADE rather than going into the sun.

The boy I notice most is maybe 16, short & chubby, wearing a white cotton shirt, button down, casual, loose. He has a BALL in front of him & bounces it up & down.

*(BOY-TEENS-WHITE SHIRT-PLAYING BALL: This is the presence of my Lover Bob, seen in this manner. Why this manner, & the playing ball?

WHITE SHIRT: Is his hope for & acceptance of our union / marriage.)*

I want to open this window more fully. There are three semi-used up, falling apart pieces of wood for propping it up, I have to work to get them aligned properly, hold the window up, two of them one on the other, on the left side, sort of rickety.

*(THIS WINDOW: Is ‘his pov or side’ from the ‘his, hers & the truth’ paradigm. I want to see HIS SIDE clearly, but there’s some rickety old wood to depend on for propping up this vision – could be THE PAST bringing confusion & apprehension toward the future. Will he really change?)*

*(MIDDLE WINDOW: Represents ‘hers’ or my flesh pov. Why did the pragmatic part of me have this closed, for which my God Self scolds me?

CLOSED WINDOW could mean ‘Closed mind’ or my POV is not open enough- not enough OXYGEN would be lack of ENERGY or life to my vision. In other words, I must BELIEVE MORE in his coming to me with a SUCCESSFUL CONCLUSION. My skepticism would come from his past performance.)*

Then I go to the LEFT WINDOW which opens on a low roof above the kitchen & the driveway. I thought at first it was closed also, but see it is open & lots of GREEN. There are two layers of windows.

On top of the KITCHEN also is a symbol of hearth, home, food, nourishment. This is where our food was prepared & eaten. This represents the HEART / CENTER, ‘home is where the heart is’ – Both he & I have each other’s hearts.)*

HE PROPOSES MARRIAGE

HE PROPOSES MARRIAGE

Dream interpreted for a friend. Too see Rasa’s book on dreams, ‘Theater of the Mind,’ check Lulu & Amazon.

2-3-20-HE PROPOSES MARRIAGE-THE REAL DEAL-NO MORE HANKY-PANKY

There’s this young man I really like, but he’s with another woman. I stand around just looking at him all the time, from here or there, looking, looking. Finally I ‘give up’ as he’s paying attention only to her; I walk away & am sitting somewhere.

(I GOT TIRED OF WAITING FOR Xxx to quit the female he’s with & walked away.)

Then he leaves that female & he comes over to me.

( THIS IS A MENTAL STATE WHICH PREDICTS A PHYSICAL CHANGE IN THE FUTURE.)

He’s young, dark hair, nice features; the features are so beautiful they are almost feminine, like he could pass for a female if made up properly – almost.

Then he says something that shocks me. He says,

“DO YOU WANT A DATE WITH ME?”

As I said, I’m so shocked I’m SPEECHLESS & instead of saying yes I squeeze or pinch his ANKLE, which is right in front of me. That is my answer & he knows its yes. He then says,

“BUT ON OUR FIRST DATE, WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TOUCH EACH OTHER.”

At that, I want to ask him if he’s a Muslim – like they have strange customs, old fashioned, & I already broke the rule by touching his ankle. But I don’t dare ask, as if he’s Muslim it might raise some conflict or disagreement.

There was a SENSE that he’s actually asking me to marry him. But we must follow antiquated rules. No ‘touching’ as we court, & then this leads to marriage. And after marriage we can ‘touch’ which is a code word for sex.

(MEANING:

YESTERDAY Xxx PUT SOMETHING ON HIS BLOG THAT INDICATED HE KNEW GOD WAS DEALING WITH HIM, ENDING HIS PRESENT SITUATION / LIFE TO MOVE HIM FORWARD TO ANOTHER.

THAT LIFE THAT’S ENDING IS WITH THE OTHER WOMAN. HERE HE’S PRESENTING TO ME HE HAS DISCERNED THE WILL OF GOD, THAT GOD WANTS HIM TO BE WITH ME.

HE IS SAYING THAT IT’S APPROPRIATE WE NOT HAVE SEX, WE MUST END THAT SEX-ONLY AFFAIR–HE MUST PROPOSE MARRIAGE, I MUST SAY YES, THEN OLD-FASHIONED COURTSHIP, THEN WE FORM OUR BOND. IN OTHER WORDS, HE HAS SEEN THE LIGHT OR THE TRUTH & HE’S COMPLIANT WITH IT.

THE MEANING OF THE DREAM IS SAYING I WANTED HIM A LOT, BUT HE DALLIED WITH ANOTHER. I LEFT HIM & ONLY WHEN HE LOST ME, HE CAME & PROPOSED. AND HE AGREES TO A TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE, THAT IS, NOT USING ME FOR SEX—PROPOSAL, COURTSHIP, THEN MARRIAGE WITH SEX………………………………

QUESTIONS: HIS APPEARANCE, THE VOLUPTUOUS BODY, HIS BODY REVEALED NOT IN NORMAL CLOTHES BUT CLINGING ONES IN GREENS. SITTING IN FRONT OF ME A FEW FEET HIGHER TO MY LEFT. I SQUEEZE HIS ANKLE. ALL SYMBOLS THAT MEAN SOMETHING BUT WHAT?

(1) HIS APPEARANCE: THE BEAUTY–COULD HAVE A DOUBLE, TRIPLE MEANING. FIRST HE IS PHYSICALLY HANDSOME, TO AN EXTREME DEGREE.

SECOND, ‘HANDSOME IS AS HANDSOME DOES,’ HIS BEHAVIOR TO ME ISN’T UGLY ANY MORE, HE’S TURNED OVER A NEW LEAF & HAS SPIRITUAL BEAUTY, HE’S COME CLOSER TO GOD & TRUTH, HE’S ASCENDED.

THIRD, HE REMINDS ME OF THE MALE IN THE TV SERIES WHO BROKE THE MAID’S HEART & SHE DIED OF IT. THIS ALL POINTS TO ONE INDIVIDUAL.

(3) CLINGING CLOTHES IN GREENS. THIS IS LIFE REVEALED. ‘HERE IT IS—ALL OF IT.’

(4) SITTING HIGHER THAN ME, TO MY LEFT BEFORE ME. COMING FROM A HIGHER PLACE THAN HE WAS BEFORE – COMING FROM ‘HEAVEN’ SO TO SPEAK OR HIS ‘ASCENDED, IMPROVED SPIRITUAL STATE.’ HE IS SAYING ‘I ACCEPT YOUR TERMS, THE TERMS OF RELATIONSHIP BEFORE SEX—YOU WERE RIGHT. DO YOU WANT ME?’

FISHER OF MEN

1-26-20-FISHER OF MEN-MY YOU TUBE VIDEOS

DREAM:

I also have glamorous cleavage. Now I’ve finished my video talk, turn away from the camera & am trying to organize the net.

It is lying there in a bundle. I had to sort of cut many pieces now it’s lying there rumpled up.

I ask people things but no one seems to be in charge or responding, so I figure, OK, I’ll cut it into squares, put it into a neat pile, & that is that. I’m smiling, I’m happy.

MEANING:

THE NET WITH GOLD OR YELLOW BAUBLES SEEMS TO BE IMPORTANT.

A NET WOULD BE A SIEVE OR FISHING NET OR A SPIDER’S WEB – SOMETHING BY WHICH TO CATCH.

IN THE CONTEXT OF THIS DREAM I FEEL THE NET IS A ‘FISHING NET’ THAT CATCHES MANY FISH. THE FISH ARE REPRESENTED BY THE BAUBLES WITHIN THE NET – PEOPLE WHO LOVE ME (I HAVE CAUGHT THEM IN MY NET.)

THEY BEING FISH ARE PEOPLE I HAVE CAUGHT FOR GOD. JESUS SAID TO PETER,

“I WILL MAKE YOU FISHERS OF MEN.”

(THIS WINDOW: Is ‘his pov or side’ from the ‘his, hers & the truth’ paradigm. I want to see HIS SIDE clearly, but there’s some rickety old wood to depend on for propping up this vision – could be THE PAST bringing confusion & apprehension toward the future. Will he really change?)