College of God & Love, Core Tenets, Shrine to Shiva

Death Frees Him for Me

11-8-23 The Only Problem is He’s Dead lol

Without a doubt, this is Nick. No symbol, just him – a couple dreams.

In one it gets complicated. A man is in love with a lady & he is stalking her – not in an evil way, just looking for her everywhere.

There’s a ‘party’ so to speak down the hall & I know that lady is there, & I also know there’s a chance my Beloved Nick will be there. This man seeking is the husband of the lady he loves.

So I take this man down the hall & there in the doorway is a kind of average size, young male dressed in maybe blue & white, some vertical designs almost like a uniform. And he is BLOCKING the doorway & tells us,

“No one admitted.”

The man I’m with just disregards this person; after all, he has a right to see his wife. He barges in & right there against the far wall his wife is sitting maybe on a couch or bed, & across from her in a chair on the left is my Beloved Nick in a white t-shirt. I’ve seen pics of him in this outfit, with his hair in a soft Afro. He looks at me shyly. There was a question, is he dead or alive? This seems to say the latter.

I barged in also after the man, disregarding the blocker-boy.

MEANING:

*{This will tell us that Nick was obsessed as much as you were, seeking you wherever you might be downtown. You are as much his spiritual wife as he was your husband. You – the Higher Self, help him find you, the body.

You showed him where Rasa was. The male blocking the door is one of his friends, a symbol of all of them as they blocked him constantly from seeing you; they wanted him for themselves & on drugs. But he disregarded them.

You also disregarded these characters to get to Nick. Here the two of you are together, sitting across one another. He looks at your God Self shyly because he had trouble admitting he was madly in love, as you were. He told people ‘she’s obsessed with me’ but he held back the fact that he was also.

White t-shirt is ‘the pure in Heart shall see God,’ purity, innocence, the untarnished heart of someone. His heart was yours/God’s.}*

In another scene there’s a lady who tells me she wants to see Nick, she has a date with him or appt. She is in front of a mirror putting on makeup or dolling up, has on some kind of a show biz greenish dress, fancy. We seem to be entertainers, maybe dancers, a few of us around.

But I tell her,

“The only problem is, he’s dead.”

She tells me he just made the appt recently. So I say,

“Well he was alive then, but now he isn’t.”

She’s then eager to go to that appt as maybe I’m wrong, maybe he is alive.

Below, his parents, his Mom months before his death age 29, his little son

MEANING:

MG: This is to underscore a fact & one in your favor.

His female friend Ruthie had him while he was alive but now he’s dead TO HER NOT TO YOU – the TRUTH comes out – he’s yours.

She was his front. Hundreds of images of them on Face Book, he didn’t allow any of you & him. Why? The pics or video made of him guffawing over you taken by Terrance he ERASED. He kept up a charade. Why? His peers, mostly drug addicts. They shared a lifestyle, if he deviated from it he would have lost his coterie, his standing in this dubious community. He was their HERO & partially because you ran after him – a LEGEND is after our homie – & the professional images you took of him {he did it for party money—entrance to a dirt-bike race track in Unadilla where just admission cost $56. then– Famous for ‘partying’ which means drugs.} which you took that included nudes & erotic. These were put on your website which became the talk of the two bit hoods – they marveled at the size of his dick – it beat the Binghamton record. They RIDICULED him but it was a front for being IMPRESSED. One guy didn’t know I was the photographer & bragged to me about the size of it, like a kid bragging about his ‘big brother.’ He was soundly harassed about the pictures by these people & was ashamed & embarrassed, not realizing they really admired him behind their jokes.

Nick was the ‘class clown’ & the ‘life of the party’ with these folks. His love for me he KEPT SECRET partially, did not reveal it fully although some knew & tried to keep it under the rug

It was like,

“We know he loves Rasa but we will do all we can to keep it under the radar & pretend the lady he’s with is the important one – hide & forget Rasa.”

And he played along with this to gain their favor, to be the center of this world, {he admitted it on Face Book} for easy access to Cocaine & all the things they did together.

On his Face book there’s an OMINOUS UNDERCURRENT. In his own words he complains of having ‘no one to turn to’ {when I left him physically but never mentally} being devastated, wanting to die, ‘death is calling my name,’ he said he’d given in to the devil & now the devil was coming to get him for payback.

Some of his songs – one in particular – he mournfully called out to me saying how miserable he was, he’d made mistakes, take his heart. This one song was called ‘Cocaine & Broken Bottles,’ – if any of you is curious or a journalist see Lambo13 on SoundCloud.

Also if any of you cares to look that what I’m saying is the truth, check his Face Book & look back years of his predictions on his misery & death – I did, & somewhere or other I have his posts written down.

For his beautiful images see my site Embodiment of God, Shiva Shrines.

He took images with everyone but me, now he’s with me forever, lol. Where he’s in ‘formal’ attire is his Mom

Now this second dream presents his front woman who’s saying she’s got an appt with him but I say, problem is he’s dead.

What does this mean?

It’s over. The charade is over, the front, the farce, the mask. Costumes,, fakery, fraud are all gone. He’s lost his body, no more body, only the TRUTH remains & he is my sheep & that of God, he hears my voice, not theirs. He’s intimate with me, not them.

They had him in life but death proves he’s mine..}*

His parents with his son AFTER his death. Your guess is as good as mine where he found his beauty, lol.

College of God & Love, Core Tenets, SHAKTI AND SHIVA, TANTRA SEX, Shrine to Shiva

He Died to be With Me

My Spiritual Husband – which means REAL husband – has died of a drug overdose on 8-14-22 … He was home with a drug partner – This

lovely person might have watched him take the

final dose.

He chose another instead of me & rehab, he wanted to keep me as his ‘back door woman’ with her up in front on social media but I said ‘no more,’ it’s either her or me. He had no way out

but death as he didn’t have the strength to leave the drugged-up ‘friends’ & benighted partner

Continue to Channel 8-17-22

For IMAGES of my spiritual husband, whose real name is Nicholas Anthony Van Dunk, see the Shiva Shrines ‘Venus, Adonis-Rasa, Jeffry’ & ‘the Holy

Grail of Manhood <> Jeffrey Michelangelo’ These shrines exemplify my love for him from day one & give some insights – A most relevant fact is that from the beginning I encouraged

him to go into rehab. His ‘friends’ were against me & my advise – These ‘friends’ are all posting on his face book after death, saying how much they loved him. But most of them

discouraged him from being with me & taking the guidance I gave. I PREDICTED over & over if he didn’t quit the drugs he would die of an overdose. But sadly, he chose his path

& now he is dead - if only his friends helped me with him, this could have been avoided. But they PRESSURED him to leave me & applauded his negative relationships.

Like wolves, they howled for him to stay with the pack. But now their tails should be between their legs. The happy side of this is he has left them, his body is gone. But he is

with me spiritually, metaphysically, he is not dead, he is alive with me. We are happy. He loves me, I love him, in True Love. He had to die to leave them, he saw

no other way; he did not have the strength to defy the demons for me.

These shrines I had put up about Nick in 2014 & 2015, I removed due to his complaints – as his friends wee razzing hm – & just now I put them back up. He is dead, they can’t harass

him any more, he & I are now free to love one another & share our love for eternity. We are happy. I can’t say this to everyone as they are so shallow they will not have the least

understanding, some of these people are less than animals – animals are good.

From friend Pete Jackson in response to my complaints about his ‘friends’ who didn’t want me with him, denied he was ever abused & took drugs to mask the pain, denied he was an addict, denied that I could help him personally or career wise, etc:

As for the people that knew him being in such denial (if not outright enablers) about his drug addiction problem and such, that was probably because either a) they were fake friends who literally didn’t care at all if he lived or died, b) they were simply far too selfish and self-centered to do anything about it, or c) they simply didn’t want to believe such a thing was true because the very idea scared the crap out of them, and perhaps they thought they could just wish it all away. The same goes for the denial about Xxxxx abusing him as well.

My article: Been speaking to him constantly & learning lots re him, some new things from his POV & he from mine. In this sort of ‘channeling’ it’s more than the usual that I do, he’s actually united to my soul as mate. In some cases of channeling I’m reading minds, the person isn’t even aware that I’m doing it.

But with Nick, since he is joined as my spiritual husband, by God, he’s in my space, I’m in his & he reads me like I read him & we are truly communicating.

His no longer having a body, but both of us being happier than ever, reminds me of the story of Abelard & Heloise:

What happened between Abelard and Heloise?

In 1115 Abelard met Heloise, who was living with her uncle, Fulbert at the Îls de Cité. At this point, she was likely in her early twenties, and Abelard decided to seduce her, offering her uncle to tutor her. At this point, she was known to be a brilliant scholar and well-versed in Latin, Greek and Hebrew. He, on the other hand, was 37 years old and in his prime as a teacher of philosophy and theology. Unfortunately, the affair ended in pregnancy and Abelard had her removed to his family home in Brittany, where she gave birth to a son, named Astrolabe. After having married her in secret, he sent Heloise to a convent at Argenteuil to protect her. Soon after, Fulbert organised a band of men, who broke into Abelard’s room, where he was castrated. As a consequence, Abelard decided to become a monk and persuaded Heloise to enter religious life. Their story, and what followed is known from his autobiographical writings, the Historia Calamitatum, seven letters between Abelard and Heloise, and four letters between Peter the Venerable and Heloise (three by Peter, one by Heloise). Also, we possess a collection of “lost love letters” which has been argued to be fragments of the illicit correspondence, which they engaged in during the winter of 1115 – 16.

Theirs was a very carnal affair! No doubt about that. For one thing, a son was born of the illicit lovemaking. Yet, the story of Abelard and Heloise is also a story of how – in a medieval context – love might be so much more than sex (amor).

……………………………………………….

And so, God reminds me of this famous love affair because now, Nick is with me sans his body & penis, we cannot have sex – Sex was almost all we did while together – he would not openly court me because he was afraid of his peers, the ‘hood,’ & later other women. They were all against me. The majority of his friends were drug addicts & they were like a pack of wolves, ridiculing him for loving me, for the pics I took of him, shaming him for wanting a much older woman (He was 19, I was 66 when we began our love. It was July 10, 2011. I shall never forget the date.)

Of course, it could be seen many times he was after me in the clubs we frequented, but he did not permit images of us together, he did not put me on social media. Sometimes he introduced me to people as ‘his girl friend’, sometimes he hid from me & denied me – it was a horrendously stressful time for me as I was deeply in love.

So was he but he tried not to show it & his odd behavior caused at least one friend to say of him he was ‘crazy.’ {I was standing around outside in the Garden area of Uncle Tony’s. He sent a guy to go get me to dance with him – the guy came over & said Nick asked him to come get me to go to him. I told him it was no use, Nick would run away when I approached. The guy insisted, so I said, let’s go, you will see. We come up to Nick, I have my arm around the guy. Nick gets mad at the guy, tells him why is he touching me? The guy says – ‘She’s touching me, you’re crazy,’ & walks away. We had a short conversation in which Nick said wittily that he & ‘girls’ didn’t mix. I

said who do you mix with? He said ‘I mix with scotch, whiskey etc.’ – something like that. He was indirectly telling me he liked older women, not girls.

Another time we’re at ‘Flashbacks’ – a large dance floor. He keeps looking at me but won’t approach. I know approaching him is fatal, so I go up to another handsome guy. At that point he gets very close – like from 25’ away to 10’ away, trying to distract me from the guy. Then he asks another guy to get me to dance with him. I approach & he runs around the post in the club, round & round we go. Later he waited for me in the parking lot & jumped into my car.

There were times, when he simply approached me & asked me to go with him. The firs time was right on the street in front of the club, the next time was in the club & I said,

“What are you doing tonight?”

{It had been a long time since our first date. He’d cut his hair, grew a beard, I didn’t know he was the same guy! Three years had gone by we’d not seen each other – they told him I was dead!}

His answer, ‘Being with you’

& off we went.

But his common routine was not to stand with me or speak with me in public but wait for me to go to my car & secretly approach. And in the end, his most common ploy was go to the window of my 2^nd floor apt, make noise, throw pebbles to my window, shine a light up from his phone. I’d get up out of bed & go open the locked front apt door & was ecstatic to see him. I always went into a trancelike state when we were near, especially when we were alone & about to make love. He never wasted one moment on that.

We had a major falling out because of the pictures I took of him & put on the internet. I paid him as a model, they are professional images both dressed, naked & erotic. They were on my site, ‘Embodiment of God’ & I put the dressed ones on face book. His peers ridiculed him & razzed him mercilessly, he asked with me to take them down but I would not. Two years later, I took most of them down. Meanwhile he would not speak to me for 9 months.

I was heartbroken; he got himself a new gf who was also a druggie. They all were, it’s hard to find one that wasn’t. He was never faithful to one. He always had some girl or other he was having sex with along with the regular steady. But he was not in love with every girl.

It’s tedious for me to write these things as I’ve done so a hundred times. Perhaps I can swing back to it bit by bit. Let me get to the now & our channeling.

He is dead, as of 2 days ago. I had to get over the grief because he’s sitting inside me & he said it took away some of his bliss. I am concerned for his happiness, so I reprogrammed my brain to realize he is here, he is happy, I must also be. He’s not dead, he said. But he is dead TO THEM.

He’s expressing to me again & again how he could not leave them no matter how much he wanted to. The people in his hood he’s known since kindergarten. They are posting pictures – dozens of them – from back when they were 10-11 years old in school. These people are a mob, the majority of them think alike, feel alike. A large percent are druggies, in fact, those he hangs with the most all are – this is true of all druggies & alcoholics, birds of a feather flock together.

This mob of ‘friends’ are mostly against me. Indeed there might be a couple who believed in our love – I had them tell me, but most of them were against us for various reasons, the main one, I wanted him in rehab, I said it again & again, that he would die if this kept up, but he didn’t believe me. Every druggie thinks he’s the one that will not overdose, but they do.

Now I see his dilemma, not having the strength to do as I asked.

He called me recently, after not speaking for a super long time. In fact, he almost never called me, in his entire life, I think it was 3 times. He would not give me his phone, but he gave it to every other girl he met!

God told me 4 months previous he would call me on June 2^nd, 2022, & he did! Lucky I was awake & by the computer & phone. It was 3:44 – a call from a number unfamiliar – I usually ignore such calls but someone I knew was ill & I was afraid it might be about them, so I pick up. It’s Nick & we’ve not spoken since last time we made love – July 2019.

We speak until 5:15 – 1.5 hours. He tells me he wants to see me, he’ll find a ride to my house, which is 28 miles away. I tell him I can’t go on like we were before – him putting his gf on social media as the ‘one’ like a wife, while I’m the back door woman. I said I have to be the one he honors on face book – not her. And for us to live together, he would first have to go into rehab as I cannot live with an addict. He denies being an addict – I know he’s lying. I know the female he’s with is an addict also, that’s what keeps the relationship going. We kind of go in circles as we speak, going back to the same issues. He wants to see me, I’m not crazy about the idea. Of course, now in retrospect I regret not inviting him. Wow, how I regret. Hindsight hurts.

Now in speaking to him I will discuss the most troublesome questions. This is different from channeling, because he is right here, inside me. As I go about my duties day & night, he sees through my eyes & sometimes, not often, makes comments. He is perfectly content here, he is believe it or not, not bored, not eager to see his old friends, including any women. He does not miss anything of his prior life. He’s joyful being here, as amazing as it sounds. He did say ‘If only I still had a body, I’d like to make love to you’ & we both laughed. Our love is just as strong without the physical expression or presence. In fact, I loved him so much that I became celibate after our last meeting – simply having no desire whatever for other men. I’d rather not do it, it’s like desecrating my Sacred space to be with another man.

We spoke about that on the phone. I told him I’d not been with another man since him, that I lost my sex drive. He said,

“It’ll come back.”

I also spoke about our spiritual marriage, that we are One & can never be separated & that we would be One in eternity, after death. He said several times – can’t recall in what context – that ‘You are Anointed.’ So let me speak to him.

ME: Nick, I am troubled now that I did not let you come over during our last conversation. What would have happened had I let you?’

NICK: It would have been the same as before. It would have rekindled your extreme desire & you would have again waited weeks & weeks to hear from me, with baited breath, until I’d call & come over when I was good & ready.

You had suffered through that so many years – you would have started to suffer again. I was selfish, I did not understand your suffering because I was so self absorbed. And so, it would have been great for me but terrible for you. I would have got what I wanted, you would not have. It might have shortened your life.

ME: Yes, I agree. But would it have prevented your death?

NICK: Rasa, it was not what God wanted. You can’t be tortured that way any more. You gave me an ultimatum, I could not keep it. You’d given me years to straighten out, I could not summon he courage to do it. You struggled against yourself & got over the addiction to me. It took every ounce of what was in you, but you did it. Like you told me, you still loved me & always would, but you were no longer obsessed. To become obsessed or addicted again to seeing me would have taken a terrible price from you.

Like I said, it was not what God wanted. God tried to make me straighten out by sending you to me. Yu gave me a chance, you suffered like a dog at my hands. You got the multiple heart attacks, your life was shortened somewhat & not as comfortable. Your energy is zapped, your body hurts from all the stress. What did I care? I was just a young, brash guy using you for love – I was getting my monthly fix from you, you filled me up with so much Light I didn’t need another refill for a months. But you suffered.

Again, I repeat, this is not what God wanted any more. You’d had enough.

ME: OK. You put up such a good front, I see now. You posted again & again about what God had taken from you. I will retrieve, when I have time, all the remarks I believe pertained to me. Were they about me – where you spoke again & again what the devil did or what God had taken away?

NICK: All your dreams were true, re my pain, horrible pain. Then you’d look at my fb & I was putting up a front like I cared about sports, music & all that crap – I didn’t. I was just pretending. My mind was on you & what I had lost.

At this point, since I wasn’t complying with your requests, you’d given up & just basically said maybe it’ll never happen, so be it, God’s will. But I wanted to be with you. Not one minute went by that I didn’t. You were the fulfillment of all my desires, as I was yours.

ME: Did you actually knowingly take your own life with that overdose?

NICK: It was unconscious. I could no longer live without you. I didn’t care about life. I did not protect myself, I was careless, & because of this, I died. Unconsciously I knew that when I died, I’d flip over to be with you. That’s what I wanted. I couldn’t do it any other way, I wasn’t strong enough. You had reviewed with me, as you had before, that we were joined by God & would be together forever. I believed you & it’s true. I entered your domain, your Kingdom, your spiritual space. And I am in bliss. You are Love. Not only love for me, you love all, you love animals, people & Souls in Purgatory. I’m in the middle of all that. How could I not be happy?

Me: But the people you had a good time with, don’t you miss them? You were the life of the party. Everyone – hundreds are posting on your site. They are putting pics & videos. They are ranting & raving about you. These same people put hardly any likes when you tried to sell or promote your music, yet they are all over you now you’re dead. If one looks at all the letters, images & videos, one would think you were in love with all these people.

NICK: This was all an act. I was lively like that after drinking & drugging. Without the substances, I felt my pain from the childhood abuse. You were conscious & aware of that pain, you were concerned. You knew that was why I was an addict. You wanted desperately to heal that pain, to get me off drugs as I was in danger of OD’ing. These people never guessed at my pain, were completely unaware. They are on a much lower level. They just wanted to have fun with me, use me for entertainment. It was shallow, it was fake, it was a burden. In the end I knew I wanted & needed that True Love you gave. I couldn’t have it any more, you weren’t addicted, I had to straighten out to have you. That was the kicker – I couldn’t do it.

I was looking how to heal my pain. The drugs were temporary, you were the permanent fix. But I had to make a choice. I kept procrastinating to what I had to do until it was too late. You couldn’t wait forever. So I died, that solved the problem. No one understands the situation but you. They look at the outside, they are on the physical, shallow plane.

They speak of me being in Peace. Yes, I am at Peace, little do they know. I can’t communicate with them, speak to them. They are on such a low level compared to where I am now with you, they cannot pick up my vibes, thoughts or words. I can’t communicate with them, they can’t hear me. We are in different worlds. Now I understand you fully & what you were trying to do, level me up, bring me out of there, save me. This is the way it has to be, it is God’s will. Be happy, no grief. I could not stand up against the entire neighborhood & my druggie friends, my only way out was death. So here I am. I love you, you love me, that’s all that matters, we are happy.

Don’t share this with them, they will piss & shit on our relationship, they will have no inkling of its value or Sacredness. This is for us alone & those few that will understand. Keep it Sacred & Secret, except for the more enlightened folks.

ME: Amen. We’ll continue talking & I will share again with the good folks. I will not reach out to your fake friends. Next time I want to express what suffering you went through after you believed you had lost me.

8-17-22 Nick appears as Errol Flynn, Deep kisses & later, a sex act

There were many & involved dreams, but I only recall the highlights, as for the last months I’ve not concentrated on dreams due to working on my life story. I learned that if I don’t focus on the dreams they fade away fast, so I’m trying to retrieve now what I can.

OK, so now Nick appears as Errol Flynn. He is BUYING ME A CAR but I can’t make up my mind what I want – used car, new car, just recall I wanted WHITE. I am so undecisive he gets frustrated & mad, I try to appease him, saying,

*** (ERROL FLYNN: You got in touch with Errol in Purgatory & ministered to him. He was famous as a great lover. You had a charismatic {Holy Spirit} union or relationship for the months you ministered to him. Nick was like that – a Holy Spirit relationship, but he was also in a ‘Purgatory’ over you. Not sure what this means as to how you frustrated him, but the WHITE is the MARRIAGE or RELATIONSHIP. You didn’t want JUST SEX, you wanted a relationship. You broke up with him because he would not commit at one time, he vomited from the car window. Was that 2015, for a few months? Later, you made up again & continued making love. This might be saying that when you would not give him sex he was frustrated & angry.) ***

“I’m sorry, I just couldn’t make up my mind what I wanted.”

We are at the car dealership off to the side, he’s in a vehicle like in a driver’s seat, leaning back, I am like in the passenger seat. I calm him down. I kiss him – before that he was so sad he almost cried. We kiss softly & our tongues meet & we do this kissing for a long time, everything is SOLVED, we are reconciled, we are at peace

*** {TONGUE KISSING: This must be the reconciliation, all is well as you started up again.} ***

I have many dreams I forgot but the next thing I know he has a hardon & I am doing something sexual to him, he has an orgasm. It happened so fast. His entire body got hot, I could see outlines of red around his body, & feel it, he came to life so to speak & the orgasm was ready. There was no prolonged like stroking or humping, he was READY fast.

*** {READY FAST, HARDON, ORGASM, PEACE: This is your reconciliation NOW. You & he are back together, like Healthcliff & Cathy after along separation.

{She died & came back. She had married another man through a misunderstanding. Got sick & died in Heathcliff’s arms. He begged her to come back & haunt him. Someone saw him walking with a woman in the snow, in the field toward the heather where the two of them romped. Later they went there, there was only one set of footprints, his. It was metaphysical but real. They were united, happy finally. Same with you. He died, you are together at last.}

It’s metaphysical but real nonetheless. When people make love, energy passes through. It is that energy that is the most vital, not an empty physical act. When there is love in it, it has meaning, substance. So here you are, loving one another, reconciled, happy & at peace once again. All you needed was to make love, you are doing it.

Nick was no different than Cathy in ‘Wuthering heights. He forfeited you partially through a misunderstanding {in the book he thought she denied him, he ran away in the night. But he did not hear the words ‘I am Healthcliff’ meaning they were One, so it was a broken heart. You also saw him touting everyone but you on his face book – you felt ousted & betrayed, but wrongly so. The love between you was absolute. But he had hundreds of people – thousands – wanting him to stay in the standards of his society, which included drugs. You were the interloper or outcast who begged for his rehab, the way Heathcliff was to high society, originating as a waif of a boy from Liverpool. Healthcliff came back, it was too late. She could not leave her husband & society, she said she didn’t want to live any more, so she died. In the same way, when Nick found out you demanded that he leave his fake people, but he could not, his only way out was death. So he died, now he ‘haunts’ you but it isn’t spooky haunting, you are together more real than the flesh.} ***

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, SHAKTI AND SHIVA, TANTRA SEX, Shrine to Shakti, Shrine to Shiva, Uncategorized

VACCINES & BILL GATES

VACCINES & BILL GATES

ROBERT F KENNEDY JR

COMMENTS BY RASA VON WERDER

Friends, those who are on board with Matriarchy, Female Empowerment &

Mother God, please share this article on your face books & other social

media. Thanks.

from RASA VON WERDER: FRIENDS THESE ARE THE PEOPLE RUNNING OUR WORLD TODAY. THEY ARE DEMONS IN THE FORMS OF MEN. DO NOT ALLOW YOUR CHILD TO GET ANY KIND OF VACCINE, DO NOT GET ANY KIND OF VACCINE, DO NOT GET A MICROCHIP IF THEY EVER TRY TO FORCE YOU. AGAIN, THIS IS PATRIARCHY, RULE OF THE MALE. GOD DID NOT CREATE MEN TO RULE THE FAMILY & THE WORLD, THEY ARE NOT SUITABLE.

GOD / WOMEN MADE MEN LONG AGO AS HELPMATES TO WOMEN, BUT SOMETHING HAPPENED THAT ONE THIRD OF THEM BECAME DEMONIC. THESE DEMONICS ARE RUTHLESS, AGGRESSIVE, NO-CONSCIENCE MURDERERS. THEY ARE WHO IS RULING THE WORLD. EVERYONE IS AFRAID OF THEM – THE GOOD MEN AS WELL AS WOMEN. THERE WILL BE NO MAN ON A WHITE HORSE. THERE WILL ONLY BE MOTHER GOD, WORKING THROUGH WOMEN, TO TAKE BACK THE FAMILY & THE WORLD.

MOTHER GOD’S SOLUTION TO THE PROBLEM IS THE EXTINCTION OF MEN – WOMEN CAN REPRODUCE WITHOUT MEN. IN FUTURE IT WILL BE A WOMAN-ONLY WORLD, 99% OF THE CONFLICTS, CRIMES & SINS WILL BE ABOLISHED.

MEN LIKE KISSINGER, BILL GATES & OTHERS ARE TRYING TO CURB THE WORLD POPULATION LIKE THIS. THEY WAY IT WILL BE NATURALLY DIMINISHED IS TO STOP PATRIARCHY – IT’S PATRIARCHS WHO ARE FORCING UNWANTED PREGNANCIES & SERIAL PREGNANCIES ON WOMEN. IT’S ALL ABOUT THEIR OWN EGO, MORE MALES NEEDED FOR WORK & WAR – IT’S PART OF THEIR DEMONIC STRONGHOLD TO WANT LOTS OF MEN FOR VIOLENCE-PARTNERS, LOTS OF WOMEN FOR SEX & BREEDING.

PEOPLE LIKE BILL GATES ARE USING THEIR MONEY POWER TO FORCE BIOWARFARE ON ‘STRANGERS’, THOSE THEY DON’T LIKE, THOSE WHO ARE HELPLESS & VULNERABLE, & THOSE THEY WANT TO ROB. HOWEVER, AT THE END OF THIS ARTICLE IT EXPLAINS HOW IT’S NOW CLOSE TO HOME, THEY ARE TARGETING AMERICANS AS WELL. (WHAT AM I SAYING, THEY ALWAYS TARGETED AMERICANS, JUST NOT AS COMPLETELY AS THEY DID OTHERS.)……..

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

4-10-20-ROBERT F KENNEDY JR ON BILL GATES & VACCINES

“Vaccines, for Bill Gates, are a strategic philanthropy that feed his
many vaccine-related businesses (including Microsoft’s ambition to
control a global vac ID enterprise) and give him dictatorial control
over global health policy—the spear tip of corporate neo-imperialism.

Gates’ obsession with vaccines seems fueled by a messianic conviction
that he is ordained to save the world with technology and a god-like
willingness to experiment with the lives of lesser humans.

Promising to eradicate Polio with $1.2 billion, Gates took control of
India ‘s National Advisory Board (NAB) and mandated 50 polio vaccines
(up from 5) to every child before age 5. Indian doctors blame the
Gates campaign for a devastating vaccine-strain polio epidemic that
paralyzed 496,000 children between 2000 and 2017. In 2017, the Indian
Government dialed back Gates’ vaccine regimen and evicted Gates and
his cronies from the NAB. Polio paralysis rates dropped precipitously.

In 2017, the World Health Organization reluctantly admitted that the
global polio explosion is predominantly vaccine strain, meaning it is
coming from Gates’ Vaccine Program. The most frightening epidemics in
Congo, the Philippines, and Afghanistan are all linked to Gates’
vaccines. By 2018, ¾ of global polio cases were from Gates’ vaccines.

In 2014, the Gates Foundation funded tests of experimental HPV
vaccines, developed by GSK and Merck, on 23,000 young girls in remote
Indian provinces. Approximately 1,200 suffered severe side effects,
including autoimmune and fertility disorders. Seven died. Indian
government investigations charged that Gates funded researchers
committed pervasive ethical violations: pressuring vulnerable village
girls into the trial, bullying parents, forging consent forms, and
refusing medical care to the injured girls. The case is now in the
country’s Supreme Court.

In 2010, the Gates Foundation funded a trial of a GSK’s experimental
malaria vaccine, killing 151 African infants and causing serious
adverse effects including paralysis, seizure, and febrile convulsions
to 1,048 of the 5,049 children.

During Gates 2002 MenAfriVac Campaign in Sub-Saharan Africa, Gates
operatives forcibly vaccinated thousands of African children against
meningitis. Between 50-500 children developed paralysis. South African
newspapers complained, “We are guinea pigs for drug makers”
Nelson Mandela’s former Senior Economist, Professor Patrick Bond,
describes Gates’ philanthropic practices as “ruthless” and immoral”.

In 2010, Gates committed $ 10 billion to the WHO promising to reduce
population, in part, through new vaccines. A month later Gates told a
Ted Talk that new vaccines “could reduce population”.

In 2014, Kenya’s Catholic Doctors Association accused the WHO of
chemically sterilizing millions of unwilling Kenyan women with a phony
“tetanus” vaccine campaign. Independent labs found the sterility
formula in every vaccine tested. After denying the charges, WHO
finally admitted it had been developing the sterility vaccines for
over a decade. Similar accusations came from Tanzania, Nicaragua,
Mexico and the Philippines.

A 2017 study (Morgensen et.Al.2017) showed that WHO’s popular DTP is
killing more African than the disease it pretends to prevent.
Vaccinated girls suffered 10x the death rate of unvaccinated children.

Gates and the WHO refused to recall the lethal vaccine which WHO
forces upon millions of African children annually. Global public
health advocates around the world accuse Gates of – hijacking WHO’s
agenda away from the projects that are proven to curb infectious
diseases; clean water, hygiene, nutrition and economic development.
They say he has diverted agency resources to serve his personal fetish
– that good health only comes in a syringe.

In addition to using his philanthropy to control WHO, UNICEF, GAVI and
PATH, Gates funds private pharmaceutical companies that manufacture
vaccines, and a massive network of pharmaceutical -industry front
groups that broadcast deceptive propaganda, develop fraudulent
studies, conduct surveillance and psychological operations against
vaccine hesitancy and use Gates’ power and money to silence dissent
and coerce compliance.

In this recent nonstop Pharmedia appearances, Gates appears gleeful
that the Covid-19 crisis will give him the opportunity to force his
third-world vaccine programs on American children.”

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Shrine to Shakti, Shrine to Shiva, Uncategorized

HINDU ADVAITA VS CHRISTIANITY

Dream Talks About Hindu Nonduality (Advaita) vs ChristianNonduality

1-26-20-BIG CONFLICT IN SCHOOL-TWO SCHOOLS OF THOUGHT

There was this school I was part of – a huge one. But there’s been a RIFT – a conflict. I see one large part of the school on the side I’m on, another side is lining up in front of us, in rows of two, across us next to a tall maybe grey brick building.

(THESE ARE ‘TWO SCHOOLS OF THOUGHT’ I WAS PONDERING YESTERDAY – THE SCHOOL OF YOGA NONDUALITY & THE SCHOOL OF CHRISTIANITY.)

Someone must represent our side, but everyone is AFRAID because there will be fighting. But a lady I know who is more of a part of the school than I am {I’m just a fringe member} – a teacher perhaps, comes forward & stands there, as NO ONE ELSE IS COMING FORWARD FOR FEAR.

(I WAS WONDERING WHY NO ONE HAS CHALLENGED OR EXPLAINED THE WAY WESTERNERS ARE TRANSLATING THE TEACHERS OF NONDUALITY. I FEEL THEIR TRANSLATIONS ARE FLAWED & THIS IS CONFUSING PEOPLE & LEADING THEM ASTRAY & LOSING THEM. WHY HAS NO ONE COME FORWARD & GIVEN BETTER EXPLANATIONS OF HOW THESE YOGIC STATES, VIRTUES, CONSCIOUSNESS, CAN BE COMPARED TO CHRISTIAN ONES? THEY ARE REALLY THE SAME, EXPLAINED IN DIFFERENT WORDS—BUT NO ONE EXPLAINING.)

This lady reminds me of Rev. Verbal Talent who was my first living guru.

(WHO IS THIS WOMAN MOMGOD, THE MAIN ONE, WHILE I AM BUT A FRINGE MEMBER, BUT I STAND WITH HER SO SHE WILL NOT BE ALONE?

THIS MIGHT BE THE MALE INTERVIEWER I SAW—BRICK–WHO CHALLENGED SOME OF THIS STUFF BEING SAID, AND HE WAS RIGHT. BUT THE INTERVIEW-E ARGUED ON & ON SO HE BACKED OFF & DROPPED IT.

I WAS THINKING OF JOINING THIS PERSON ON HIS FORUM & LETTING HIM KNOW I AGREED WITH HIM.)

And so, because I don’t want her to STAND ALL ALONE I step forward as well, there are just two of us who are willing to represent our side – there are plenty of students behind us but they will not stand as warriors – across us they are hundreds, although no sparks have yet flown. The teacher I join is wearing a sort of shiny grey suit that hangs off her like liquid, a liquid skirt & jacket, luminous, flowing but not puffy, just straight down.

(THIS SAYS THAT VERY FEW PEOPLE COULD MEET THE CHALLENGE THIS ‘SCHOOL OF THOUGHT’ REPRESENTS. BRICK SEEMS TO BE THE ONLY ONE – HE’S DEEP IN THE CULTURE OF THESE PEOPLE, I’M BUT A FRINGE MEMBER, BUT I’D HELP HIM IF NEEDED.

THE SUIT HE’S WEARING IS VERBAL ARMOR – HE IS EXTREMELY WELL PREPARED TO ARGUE, HE KNOWS HIS SUBJECT. THE SUIT REMINDS ONE OF SHINY GREY ARMOR BUT THIS IS WORDS SO IT’S LIKE ‘LUMINOUS LIQUID ARMOR.’)

Now she & I go to a sort of PARK, a large green campus with trees & we are milling about. We both take dry sticks. My stick has prongs, so I’m snapping them off. Nothing has happened. The school building is to the left.

Now to the right here comes a mob, like 200 women, facing us. My partner is so frightened she JUST RUNS OFF at her fastest speed (she was good in track) – to the right front, the crowd is more to the left, they are shoulder-to-shoulder females.

(POSSIBLY THIS SCHOOL OF THOUGHT IS SEEN AS FEMALES BECAUSE THEY ARE HINDUS – MOST OF THEM ARE WEARING FEMININE GARB. SOME WEAR ONLY BIKINI BOTTOMS, INCLUDING A CHIEF, RAMANA MAHARSHI, WE’RE DISCUSSING A LOT – SOME OF THEM WEAR SKIRTS DOWN TO THEIR ANKLES, SOME WEAR SARIS SIMILAR TO WOMEN’S (AS GHANDI WORE).

ACCORDING TO THIS THERE ARE HORDES OF YOGIS / HINDUS READY TO FACE US & ATTACK & BRICK REALLY DOES NOT WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS – HE WOULD ABANDON ME & DESERT ME BEFORE THE SHYT HIT THE FAN. THIS SAYS HE’S GOOD AT BACKING OFF OR AVOIDING AN ARGUMENT.

WHAT IS MY STICK? JUST A STAFF LIKE MOSES HAD, IT ISN’T FOR HARM, IT’S A STICK OF HEALING, THE WAY MOSES PUT HIS STAFF ON HIGH, WITH SNAKES RUNNING THROUGH IT, & THOSE WHO LOOKED UPON IT WERE HEALED. I DON’T MEAN HARM, I’M TRYING TO HEAL MISUNDERSTANDING.)

This crowd sees me taking these dry stub branches off my stick (they are sharp, I am disarming my walking staff) – I wonder if they think I’m making a weapon, it’s just a light stick, nothing you could hurt someone with.

As I leave various people are staring at me as if they will mob me & hurt me, but I am able to rise into the air, even 20-40’ & move along, they can’t even reach me, so I escape their premises.

(AT FIRST, I’M ABLE TO RISE SPIRITUALLY BUT I GET TIRED OR EXHAUSTED & GET VULNERABLE. THIS COULD HAVE BEEN MY STATE YESTERDAY, AS I WAS FIGHTING DEMONS & RECITED ABOUT 50 EXORCISMS.

OR IT COULD BE A WARNING THAT AT FIRST, I’LL DO WELL, BUT EXHAUSTION WILL WEAR ME OUT & I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO DO MY BEST.)

On the road escaping, another bunch of women is going to attack me. Next to us is a sunken field with many dryish sumacs, with twisted bodies like Japanese Maples, & I try to fly over that, but the women follow me by walking – I can’t rise up in the air enough, my flying abilities have lately failed me. What saves me is we see a stack of these dry sumac branches piled high in the middle of this tiny field (it’s only about 30’ in diameter), & we all agree, this is a funeral pyre ready to be lit. They seem so curious / surprised that they stop thinking about me & I escape.

(WHAT IS THIS FUTURE FUNERAL PYRE IN THE FIELD THAT SAVES ME?

IT COULD BE WHEN THE ATTACKERS FIND OUT MY AGE THEY DON’T WANT TO HURT ME, AS THEY HAVE RESPECT FOR THEIR ELDERS. AFTER ALL, I’M GOING TO DIE SOON (HAHA) SO SHOW SOME RESPECT.

I HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING – HAVE NOT ARGUED WITH ANYONE. THIS SIMPLY ANTICIPATES WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I DID, MY GOD SELF WANTS ME TO AVOID THE ACTIVITY. I HEARD MY INNER VOICE SAY ‘LEAVE THEM ALONE.’)

I then decide to leave. There isn’t any fighting, but as I’m almost to the road that will take me back, I hear two females behind me & they have small clubs, a big woman & a smaller one, & they are saying something like,

“Let’s let her have it, get it over with.”

I turn, look at them – we are in a small rural alley with a gate (the alley about 10’), (there’s a pretty light green painted wooden window shutter near) I know they mean me, so I quickly get out of that spot, go to the main road & somehow get away.

(IT SEEMS LIKE PEOPLE WOULD COME FROM ALL DIRECTIONS & PLACES TO ‘GET YOU’ {SO DON’T GET STARTED.} THEY WOULD NOT APPRECIATE THE FACT THAT YOU’RE TRYING TO HELP, THEY’D SEE YOU AS AN ENEMY, AN INTERLOPER. THEY WOULD REACT IRRATIONALLY. THIS DREAM IS A WARNING.

ME TO MOMGOD: WHY WOULD MY EFFORTS TO HELP BE SEEN IRRATIONALLY, WITH ANGER, AS IF I’M AN ENEMY?

BECAUSE IT’S THEIR VANITY. THESE YOGIS WANT PEOPLE TO BELIEVE THEY HAVE AN EXCLUSIVE, MYSTERIOUS DISCIPLINE CALLED ‘NONDUALITY,’ WHICH NO ONE UNDERSTANDS OR PRACTICES EXCEPT THE ELITE OF ALL YOGIS.

FOR YOU TO SAY ‘LOOK, WE CHRISTIANS HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING THIS DISCIPLINE SINCE DAY ONE, WE JUST CALL IT DIFFERENT TERMS, TO THEM WOULD ATTACK THEIR EGOS, THEY WOULD SEE IT AS AN ATTEMPT TO TAKE AWAY WHAT THEY HAVE.

THEY HAVE MADE A GOOD BUSINESS, PROFIT & STATUS FROM REPRESENTING THE WAY OF THE ‘MYSTERIOUS EAST.’ – IT MAKES THEM IMPORTANT TO US. THEY HAVE GURUS & ASHRAMS WITH ALL THAT GOES WITH IT. THEY GAIN GREAT STATURE, FAME, & RESOURCES, FROM WESTERNERS WHO WANT TO GAIN SOMETHING WE DON’T HAVE. (This is NOT to say the Enlightened souls are doing this, it’s the ordinary ones, those who are NOT enlightened, who are full of ego & vanity, that would be upset.)

FOR YOU TO CLAIM THERE IS NO MYSTERY & PROVE IT WILL MAKE YOU A GREAT ENEMY & THEY WOULD WANT TO BEAT THE LIVING SHYT OUT OF YOU JUST LIKE THE DREAM.)

After escaping various situations where these women would beat me up, I am back at our original school, it seems to the right side of it– our friendly area, & I’m climbing up some tall wide school stairs recently painted. The color is a dark shiny green, the paint so fresh, {it even has a pleasant smell,} on the stairs & walls that it’s slightly sticky.

(WHAT IS THE RECENTLY PAINTED STAIRCASE DEEP SHINY GREEN, SO FRESH IT EVEN SMELLS NICE?

IT’S THE RECENT SYNOPSIS OF A FEW THINGS YOU STATED WITHIN THIS DREAM WHICH COMPARE NONDUALITY TO CHRISTIAN TERMS. A STAIRCASE IS LIKE A ROAD, A WAY, HERE YOU HAVE IMPROVED A ROAD, A WAY TO UNDERSTANDING HOW CHRISTIANS PRACTICE NONDUALITY, & IT GOES UP—TOWARD GOD—NOT DOWN, WHICH WOULD BE HELL.

BUT YOU’RE NOT SURROUNDED BY FRIGHTENED ENEMIES, YOU’RE HERE ON OUR OWN TURF, OUR SCHOOL, SO YOU’RE AT PEACE, HAPPY, REJOICING, NOT IN CONFLICT.)

I get all the way up to a floor, very wide room, like five big rooms together – our compatriots milling about–& I tell someone that Rev. Verbal ditched me, took off running. My lady associate says,

“She was made to run.”

But I was a success, & I hear a song I love & I do the greatest callisthenic dance I often do in dreams, where I tumble in the air completely around so my head aims at the floor, & a few other paranormal moves, & everyone knows I’ve succeeded & done a good job, & I’m happy—the way you feel when you’ve succeeded an ordeal.

(NOTICE I ESCAPE BEATINGS FROM THE WOMEN / HINDUS / YOGIS BUT I RETURN TO OUR OWN FRIENDLY SPACE, SCHOOL, COMPATRIOTS. MY CONCLUSION TO THIS DILEMMA WAS TO SIMPLY DO THE HOMEWORK IN HOW TO TRANSLATE, TRANSPOSE THESE ‘NONDUALITY’ PRINCIPLES INTO CHRISTIAN TERMS – PRESENT THEM ON MY OWN TURF WITHOUT GETTING MIXED UP WITH THE ‘NONDUALISTS’ & THIS WAY I WOULD SUCCEED. I AM DOING A VICTORY DANCE.)

But it’s not over. Now somehow, we have to go on a journey. We must GET HOME. I make SEVERAL TRIES. I recall this one.

My sister seems to be our guide. She thinks she knows the way, but when we get to a bridge, I tell her, no I don’t think this is right, there was no bridge last time I made it home. {The bridge is over a small, shallow river, it’s not long or high up, just like a road with iron bars on the side—one side houses a dam of sorts. It just stops, & there’s a barrier that makes the water pile up. But much of the water is apparently allowed to go under as it’s flowing.} But she insists we keep walking. There are others with us, like kids, we are the guides.

(MY SISTER REPRESENTS THE PRAGMATIC—ALWAYS. IT’S PART OF ME. THIS IS TELLING ME NOT TO LISTEN TO MY HUMAN, LOGICAL GUIDANCE BUT TO GO BY SPIRITUAL INSTINCT. I’VE DONE THIS BEFORE – THERE WAS NO BRIDGE. IT’S THE WRONG ROAD, WRONG WAY TO GO, MOMENTARILY WE SEE THAT.

BUT WHERE AM I GOING, WHERE AM TRYING TO GET? WHAT IS ‘HOME’ IN THIS DREAM?

IT WOULD BE THE GOAL OF UNDERSTANDING NONDUALITY IN A WAY THAT MAKES SENSE, THAT IS EFFECTIVE.

‘THERE IS NO BRIDGE’ ON THE WAY THERE IS THIS IS NONDUALITY – NOT TWO THINGS, BUT ONE. A BRIDGE CONNECTS TWO THINGS, TWO SIDES. SO I AM SAYING ‘WE ARE NONDUALISTS JUST AS THEY ARE.’

THE WAY THESE NONDUAL TEACHERS ARE EXPLAINING GOES INTO THE ‘TWILIGHT ZONE.’ I HAD SOME HEARTY LAUGHS AS I LISTENED TO ONE INTERVIEW. THE TEACHER SPOKE ABOUT:

‘DESTROYING THE MIND’ – ‘THE REALITY WE ARE SEEING IS NOT REAL, JUST AN ILLUSION THAT’S ONLY SEEN BY US, NO ONE ELSE – WE HAVE PROJECTED IT……THERE IS NO BIRTH OR DEATH, THERE IS NO TIME, THE THEORY OF RELATIVITY IS NOT TRUE AS THERE ARE NO TWO THINGS, ONLY ONE THING…..WHEN YOU PULL BACK THE MIND FROM ITS OBJECT YOU DESTROY IT, THEN YOU SEE THE SELF WHICH IS GOD, THAT IS THE GOAL, TO GET RID OF THE MIND. THIS IS SO CONFUSING, SO MISLEADING, MYSTIFYING, & THEY FEEL THEY ARE SUPERIOR TO US, THAT THEY HAVE ESOTERIC KNOWLEDGE, BECAUSE NO ONE CAN MAKE HEADS OR TAILS OF THIS.’ End their part

BUT MY POV IS: IN TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THIS LINGO YOU COULD LOSE YOUR MIND OR GO CRAZY, WE DON’T WANT TO DO THAT. WHEN THEY USE THE WORD ‘MIND’ IT IS TRANSLATED MIND BUT IT PROBABLY MEANS ‘ATTENTION’ – ‘FOCUS’. OR IT SPEAKS OF THE CONSCIOUS MIND VS THE UNCONSCIOUS–BUT THE UNCONSCIOUS IS NEVER MENTIONED. THEY ARE TRYING TO GET YOU TO FOCUS ON THE INTERIOR & ON THE GOD WITHIN, & WE NEED BETTER TRANSLATION FROM THEIR TERMS TO OURS. BUT NONE OF THEM {the Western teachers} IS DOING THAT.)

We hang a right before the bridge, the river is in front, & as we walk the path turns into weeds as tall as our faces – we’re engulfed – the road has ended & I tell her ‘I told you so.’

(WHAT ARE THE WEEDS, THE PATH ENDING, THE WEEDS ENGULFING US?

THIS MIGHT REFER TO THE TERMS THEY ARE USING. YOU WON’T GET ANYWHERE BY THE WAY THEY EXPLAIN IT, WE GET ‘CHOCKED’ BY WEEDS OR ‘CAN’T GET THROUGH’ THE WEEDS – THE TERMS ARE THE WEEDS, A LOT OF BAD STUFF WE HAVE TO FIGHT THROUGH, WE CAN’T GET TO OUR GOAL.)

I look at the bridge. On the far side of it there’s a dam where the water has accumulated & it’s fairly deep. There are two large horses that were in the river that are swimming & stopped right there at the end of the dam. I think about them & am concerned. I hope they’re OK, I think they are. But what do they mean?

(HORSES MEAN WORK. THIS MIGHT BE SAYING ‘THE WORK ON THIS IS NOT GOING ON, IT IS STOPPED, IT IS TRUNCATED. IN OTHER WORDS, AS I SAID, THESE WESTERN TEACHERS, 99% OF WHOM ARE MEN, ARE NOT ABLE TO TRANSLATE HINDU NONDUALITY INTO OUR CHRISTIAN TERMS.

CHRISTIAN MYSTICS HAVE BEEN EXPERIENCING NONDUALITY, BUT THEY CALL IT ‘NO LONGER I LIVE, BUT CHRIST IN ME.’ CHRIST IS GOD, THEREFORE IF I AM DEAD BUT CHRIST LIVES IN ME MY LOWER SELF IS DEAD (EGO, DESIRES OF THE FLESH) BUT GOD IN ME IS ALIVE. THAT MEANS I AM GOD. THAT IS NONDUALITY, I AM GOD. IT’S NOT ME LOOKING AT GOD OUTSIDE, I HAVE ASCENDED, I HAVE DIED TO THE LOWER SELF, I AM LIVING, RADIATING GOD.

THEY ALSO SAY, ‘I HAVE DIED WITH CHRIST & RISEN WITH CHRIST.’

WE CALL THE DYING OF THE EGO, DYING TO THE WORLD, FLESH & DEVIL, ‘DEATH TO SELF,’ THEY CALL ‘SELF’ IS GOD, SO AGAIN, TERMS. THEY MEAN ‘GOD SELF’ BUT DON’T USUALLY SAY IT. WHEN WE SAY ‘SELF’ WE MEAN EGO – THE THING THAT HAS TO DIE. THEY MEAN GOD.

WE (THE ORIGINAL CHRISTIANS), MISUNDERSTOOD JESUS’ TEACHING & MADE HIM THE ONE & ONLY GURU WHEN THERE’S BEEN MANY. BUT AFTER WE WORSHIP HIM ‘IN FORM’—IN THE WAY OF BHAKTI OR LOVE, DEVOTION,–(THE NONDUALISTS SAY – THAT ‘FORM’ IS NOT THE FINAL STEP OF SPIRITUALITY) – WE DON’T STAY THAT WAY, WE HAVE BECOME HIM, THERE ARE NO LONGER TWO, HIM & ME, THERE’S ONLY ONE, I AM HE.

ANOTHER PHASE OF THIS IS CHRISTIANS WHO ARE ADVANCED PRACTICE ‘NON ATTACHMENT,’ WHICH MEANS PUT GOD FIRST, EVERYTHING ELSE AFTER, DON’T PUT ANYTHING BEFORE GOD, GOD IS A JEALOUS GOD, IF YOU PUT GOD FIRST EVERYTHING ELSE WILL BE ADDED BY GOD.

TO BE HONEST, IT ALL COMES OUT OF BUDDHISM—WHICH WAS ORIGINALLY 3,000 YEARS AGO, A FORM OF HINDU YOGA. FROM BUDDHA CAME JESUS, A REINCARNATED GURU. THE THREE WISE MEN CAME FROM INDIA TO HONOR THEIR REBORN GURU, CAME TO GET HIM WHEN HE WAS TWELVE, TOOK HIM TO INDIA OR TIBET, TAUGHT HIM UNTIL AGE TWENTY NINE & RETURNED HIM TO HIS PEOPLE. ALL HIS TEACHINGS WERE BUDDHIST.

HE HAD GREAT POWERS BECAUSE HE HAD ACQUIRED THEM IN PREVIOUS LIFETIMES; IT WAS WHAT YOGIS CALL ‘KARMIC RESIDUE.’ BESIDES THAT HE WAS PREPARED FOR SEVENTEEN YEARS HOW TO TEACH, PREACH & HEAL. HE WAS BORN ANOINTED & WAS TRAINED; THAT CREATED GREATNESS.

HIS TEACHINGS ARE BUDDHIST – THE SERMON ON THE MOUNT–BUDDHISM. ALL HIS BASIC TENETS, CORE TEACHINGS, LOVE THY NEIGHBOR AS THYSELF, DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE OTHERS DO UNTO YOU, WHAT YOU DO TO THE LEAST OF THESE YOU DO TO ME (GOD) IS ALL BUDDHISM. AND SO, OUR CHRISTIANITY IS NOT FAR FROM HINDU-YOGA, WE JUST HAVE TO FIX THE IDIOMS.

THERE IS NO MYSTERY TO NONDUALITY, IT’S NOT ESOTERIC, IT’S NOT HARD TO REACH OR ACQUIRE, IT’S NOT MYSTERIOUS & TO MAKE IT SO IS WRONG. NONDUALITY IS A HIGH LEVEL OF SPIRITUALITY IN ANY RELIGION. I HAVE READ THE LIVES OF THE MYSTICAL SAINTS & THEY ALL HAD IT – READ ‘MYSTICISM’ BY EVELYN UNDERHILL, THE BEST BOOK ON THE SUBJECT I HAVE EVER READ, & IT NEVER EVEN MENTIONS HINDU NONDUALITY.

THAT’S WHAT THIS DREAM IS ABOUT. IT SAYS ‘JUST DO IT, NOBODY ELSE IS, & NO ONE WILL HELP YOU.’

………………………………………………………

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Shrine to Shakti, Shrine to Shiva, Uncategorized

SCAPEGOAT & ROLES REVERSED

1-24-20-THE SCAPEGOAT & ROLES REVERSED

Dream interpreted for a friend. Symbols explained in detail.

I seem to be looking at an unfortunate boy with his mother. He has dark curly hair, tall, young – looks wise reminds me of Alan from yesterday.

(ALAN IS A SYMBOL OF LEILA’S BOYFRIEND. I WAS AT A PLACE OF BUSINESS WHERE THEY BOTH WORK, TALKING TO THEM. THERE WAS A QUESTION LEILA & I DISCUSSED, AS WILL BE SEEN BELOW. A CLUE HE IS THE SUBJECT MATTER IS ‘UNFORTUNATE.’

*OFTEN WHEN YOU SEE A PERSON IN A DREAM IT MIGHT NOT BE ABOUT THE PERSON AT ALL. DON’T TAKE THINGS LITERALLY–USUALLY THEY ARE SYMBOLS, AS HERE, IT IS NOT ABOUT ALAN AT ALL. ASSUME THAT MOST CHARACTERS YOU SEE IN DREAMS ARE SYMBOLS OF (1) ANOTHER PERSON (2) A PERSONALITY OR ATTITUDE OF A PERSON – YOURSELF OR ANOTHER.

HERE HE ONLY LOOKS THIS WAY TO TELL YOU: IT’S ABOUT WHAT YOU DISCUSSED AT THIS PLACE. BUT WHY DOESN’T HE LOOK LIKE HIMSELF? BECAUSE YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS GUY—THE BF–CLOSE UP, NOT SURE HOW HE LOOKS.)

His Mom is to the left, in a kind of large cubicle, in bed. She’s handing something to ‘Alan’ & it’s not a big transaction, but within this framework I’m seeing their entire relationship.

(THIS WOMAN BEING IN BED COULD MEAN SHE IS AT LEISURE – RELAXING, RESTING – BUT GIVING HIM SOMETHING TO DO SO IT COULD BE SHE’S PILING ON WORK FOR HIM BUT NOT ON HERSELF.

IT COULD ALSO MEAN SHE MAKES HIM CARRY HER CROSS, GOES EASY ON HERSELF BUT HARD ON HIM. MAKES HIM SUFFER MORE SO SHE WOULD SUFFER LESS.)

It seems she’s picking on him, & I ask him is she?

And he has two sisters, & they seem to be ‘picking on him’ also & it’s serious, not mild. I see it’s a pattern, the mother & the two sisters are doing to him.

({what Tim’s (an old friend) Dad did to him when he was a child. His Dad constantly put him down, criticized & belittled him, so badly that at the age of 12 he started to drink, taking the parent’s liquor – later he became a drug addict & remained one his entire life. He explained its mentality to me.}

THIS IS SHOWING A POWERFUL ANALOGY BETWEEN THIS BF & THE STORY OF HOW TIM BECAME A DRUG ADDICT. IT IS THE TRAUMA THAT WAS REFERENCED—THIS IS IT, THE WAY HE WAS TREATED BY A PARENT, PROBABLY THE MOTHER, & SIBLINGS, COULD BE SISTERS.)

I say to Alan,

“I see it now. I understand. You are their SCAPEGOAT. Do you know what that means? They blame everything on you. I know, as I was the scapegoat in my family. It goes like this, & I physically demonstrate:

There is a cardboard box standing on something to my left. I act like a person who has great nervous tension, I show my hands shaking. To relieve the pressure of this anxiety, I take my fist & punch that cardboard box to my left.

(IT’S A KNOWN PHENOMENON THAT FAMILIES SOMETIMES CHOOSE ONE CHILD ‘TO BE SACRIFICED’ SO THAT THE REST OF THE FAMILY ‘COULD HAVE A BETTER LIFE.’

OF COURSE THIS IS SINFUL & DOES HARM TO THE CHILD. THE TROUBLES, ANXIETIES OF THE FAMILY ARE SOMEHOW ‘DUMPED’ ON THE CHILD, THEY ARE BLAMED FOR EVERYTHING. THEY ARE MISTREATED; MENTALLY, EMOTIONALLY OR PHYSICALLY ABUSED. AND IT ISN’T JUST ONE PERSON OR ONE PARENT THAT DOES IT – IT BECOMES A CONSENSUS. SOMETIMES NOT EVERYONE PARTICIPATES, BUT USUALLY THIS CHILD IS NOT PROTECTED BY ANY FAMILY MEMBER.

THEY COULD BE MADE TO DO MORE WORK THAN THE OTHERS & GIVE LESS PRIVILEGES. THEY WOULD BE PUNISHED MORE – EVERY DAY WOULD BE PUNISHMENT BECAUSE THEY ARE DEPRIVED OF LOVE. THIS IS THE ‘FAMILY SCAPEGOAT’ STORY.)

To my dismay, however, I see the front of the box, & sitting inside is an infant – it wasn’t hurt but I’m upset & say,

“I’m so sorry – wow – I didn’t know a baby was sitting in there.”

I was demonstrating to him how his Mom & sisters took their anxiety out on him, punching him mentally.

(THE CHILD IS THE HELPLESS VICTIM, THIS SAYS. THE BOX THE CHILD SITS IN IS SIMILAR IN DESIGN TO THE ‘BED CUBICLE’ THE MOTHER IS RESTING IN. AS ALREADY STATED, IN THIS CASE, THE MOM TRAUMATIZED THE CHILD SO SHE WOULD BE ‘BETTER OFF.’ {BUT OF COURSE SUCH PEOPLE ARE NOT BETTER OFF SPIRITUALLY – THEY ARE GUILTY OF SIN. & AS SOMEONE ONCE SAID TO ME ‘IT’S BETTER TO BE SINNED AGAINST THAN TO BE THE SINNER.’})

This solved a mystery of how he was traumatized. It shows a comparison between my friend, a drug addict who explained his case to me – as being applicable to this new person seen in the dream.

(THIS REFERS TO LEILA’S BOYFRIEND, WHY HE’S AN ADDICT. YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT IT & SHE SAID SHE DIDN’T KNOW WHY.) Finis.

………………………………………………………….

ANOTHER DREAM: ROLES REVERSED

EARLY there was a dream like this: I see a paper-embossed design, large, almost white (it’s a thick soft cardboard) – which you would put on the wall for decoration. There are no colors. It’s sort of ‘antique’ or ‘old fashioned’ – the designs are mostly all flowers like daisies or asters, but puffed out. It’s about 4’x4.5’

Then appears a smaller version of this to its right, about 3.5’x4’ & its color is CREAM. What surprises me it is the EXACT SAME DESIGN. Not sure why I thought this design could not be DUPLICATED – because it was original & unusual, but here it is duplicated right before my eyes, & I tell everyone how amazed I am.

These two papers are sort of ‘in the air’ by the end of my large table housing the old computer, in front of the window to the extreme right of this room.

MEANING:

‘UP IN THE AIR’ WOULD BE SOMETHING ‘PENDING’ – LIKE WE THINK IT’S GOING TO BE, BUT IT HASN’T HAPPENED YET. IT’S LIKE A QUESTION.

DAISIES ARE ‘SHE LOVES ME-SHE LOVES ME NOT’. SOMEONE IS THINKING DOES SOMEONE LOVE HIM OR HER.

THE OLD-FASHIONED, ARCHAIC CAN REFER TO TWO THINGS IN THE CONTEXT OF THIS DREAM: (1) A RELATIONSHIP THAT’S BEEN GOING ON FOR A WHILE OR (2) THE IDEA OF MARRIAGE WHICH IS ‘OLD FASHIONED – ARCHAIC’ AN OLD TRADITION. IT SEEMS APROPOS TO THE SECOND.

I SEE IT NOW, THE PUZZLE HAS COME TOGETHER. SOMETIMES, WHEN YOU SEE ONE OR MORE CLUES, THEY ARE WHAT I CALL ‘KEYS.’ THESE KEYS OPEN THE MEANING, IT ALL FALLS TOGETHER IN YOUR MIND.

THESE ARE TWO PEOPLE WHO LOVE ONE ANOTHER. FIRST, SHE CHASED HIM. THAT’S THE BIG WHITE DESIGN WITH THE DAISIES THAT SAY, ‘HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT,’ AS SHE IS IN CONSTANT ANXIETY TO THAT QUESTION. SHE CHASES HIM BECAUSE SHE NEEDS REASSURANCE.

BUT SUDDENLY, IT IS HE WHO IS CHASING HER, NOW HE NEEDS REASSURANCE. HE IS PICKING THE DAILY PETALS ASKING THAT SAME QUESTION – DOES SHE OR DOES SHE NOT LOVE ME?

THE WHITE & CREAM BOTH REFER TO MARRIAGE, UNION, OR SERIOUS LOVE—THE TYPE OF FEELING THAT MAKES TWO PEOPLE STAY TOGETHER.

WHY IS THE ORIGINAL PAPER BIGGER?– BECAUSE IT WENT ON FOR A LONGER TIME. THE SMALLER PAPER, EXACT SAME DESIGN OR SITUATION, HAS BEGUN MORE RECENTLY, HAS NOT LASTED AS LONG OF A TIME OR TAKING UP AS MUCH ‘SPACE.’

THE DREAMER IS STARTLED TO SEE THE MAN IN THE EXACT SAME POSITION SHE WAS IN BEFORE.

THE POSITION OF THINGS CAN BE MEANINGFUL – WHERE YOU ARE – WHERE THE SYMBOLS ARE – WHERE OTHERS ARE. SCRUTINIZE EACH SYMBOL WITH A FINE-TOOTH COMB.

WHY BY THE LARGE TABLE OF THE OLD COMPUTER & IN FRONT OF THE WINDOW, DO THESE TWO ITEMS APPEAR?

YES IT’S BY THE WINDOW, BUT YOUR NEW COMPUTER IS THERE, IT’S RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE BIG-SCREENED NEW COMPUTER. THIS UNDERSCORES:

“IT WAS THE OLD WAY BEFORE (OLD COMPUTER) WHERE THE LADY CHASED HIM. NOW IT’S A NEW SITUATION, THE NEW COMPUTER – HE IS CHASING YOU; OLD SITUATION, NEW SITUATION.WE SEE THEM RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER, IN FACT, PART OF THE NEW PAPER IS COVERING OR OVER THE TOP OF THE OLD – THE NEW IS SUPPLANTING THE OLD, COVERING IT, TAKING THE PLACE OF IT. finis

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Shrine to Shakti, Shrine to Shiva, Uncategorized

NONDUALITY FIXES A RELATIONSHIP

NONDUALITY IMPROVES A RELATIONSHIP

Interpretation of Dreams for Friends. Many symbols explained.

These first two dreams seem somehow to ‘go together’ or ‘dreamed at the same time,’ ‘side by side’ – although they seem to have no correlation.

First myself & my husband RAJ are standing in my room with the twin beds—we’re in the middle of the room as if the two beds, which are together, are separated.

(SEPARATED BEDS AS YOU’RE NOT HAVING SEX)

He’s standing here in a full-length blue robe & going to leave me. I am sort of on the floor by the side of his legs, holding his robe & saying,

(FULL LENGTH BLUE ROBE TOTALLY DEPRESSED {not partially as that could be a short robe})

“I’m sorry – I’m sorry.

Don’t leave me, I have nothing without you.”

(THIS HEARKENS BACK TO YOUR PTSD WHEN YOU WERE SEPARATED FROM DAD. IT BROKE YOUR HEART – HE WAS EVERYTHING TO YOU BUT YOU LOST HIM. EVERY AFFAIR YOU HAVE THAT’S NOT WORKING TRIGGERS THIS PTSD. THAT’S WHY IT’S SO INTENSE. YOU WERE ‘BROUGHT TO YOUR KNEES’ MEANS YOU WERE HELPLESS.)

He’s very sad, his hair is half grey, lots of white, he’s determined to leave.

(HAIR TURNING GREY, ESPECIALLY WHITE IS ANXIETY. HIS ANXIETY IS GREAT RE YOU—

BUT THE LEAVING SYMBOL IS NOT REALLY HIS DESIRE TO LEAVE YOU—IT’S YOUR ATTACHMENT DECREASING, he’s leaving you as a mental obsession–THE HUMAN ATTACHMENT THAT IS NOT GOOD, IF IT REMAINS YOU’RE NOT ‘FREE.’

WHAT WE CALL ‘FREEDOM’ IN SPIRITUALITY IS HEAVEN ON EARTH. AS LONG AS ONE HAS ATTACHMENT THEY CANNOT BE HAPPY—BUDDHISM TEACHES THIS, SO DO SOME CHRISTIANS, SO DOES NONDUALITY. ATTACHMENT MEANS ANXIETY, IT MAKES ONE WORRY. YOU CAN’T BE HAPPY & WORRIED/ANXIOUS AT THE SAME TIME.)

Right now also my niece Zarzilla has arrived with her little son. She’s brought me several items of clothing which she’s joyful about, & she lays them out on the bedroom bureau for me to see.

One item is a little grey-violet vest, knitted with large openings between stitches, (the vest is open, there are no fasteners) with PEARLS sewn in here & there, the other two or three items also have pearls, & every garment is neat as a pin, & so small, he must weigh no more than thirty pounds. She’s smiling. I’m rather startled as I’ve not seen her for ages nor heard from her, & here she’s popped up out of the blue.

(AS I SUSPECTED, THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOUR NIECE BUT ABOUT YOU DEVELOPING A NEW PERSONALITY-ATTITUDE REGARDING RAJ. ZARZILLA IS YOUR NEW PHYSICAL SELF & THE BABY IS YOUR HUSBAND RAJ.

RAJ HAS RISEN UP, SO HAVE YOU—WHICH IS GREAT FOR THE RELATIONSHIP. ONE OF THE SIGNS RAJ HAS CHANGED IS HOW LITTLE HE IS – BEING A SMALL CHILD IS SHRINKING IN HUMILITY, LIKE WE ARE ALL TINY CHILDREN BEFORE THE GREATNESS OF GOD.

THE LITTLE VEST GREY/VIOLET SHOWS A HIGHER LIGHT IS REACHING HIS HEART & MIND–VEST GOES OVER THE HEART & WHEN VESTS ARE OPEN THEY REPRESENT WINGS, THE COLOR GREY IS MIND, VIOLET IS A RAREFIED SPIRITUAL LIGHT. HE HAS RISEN UP. YOU ARE ALSO GETTING WISER REGARDING HIM.

NEXT, PEARLS ARE EXTREMELY TELLING SYMBOLS OF INCREASED UNDERSTANDING – ‘PEARLS OF WISDOM.’ SINCE THEY ARE VARIOUS GARMENTS BOTH UPPER & LOWER BODY, HE HAS IMPROVED ON SEVERAL LEVELS OR IN WAYS. {SO HAVE YOU.}

*GARMENTS: GARMENTS HAVE TO DO WITH WHO WE ARE, HOW WE ACT, WHAT WE ARE DOING. SOULS WHO ARE ASCENDING INTO HEAVEN MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, ARE SEEN IN FEMININE GARB—EVEN MEN—BECAUSE WE ARE ALL PASSIVE TO GOD. GOD IS THE POWER & GIVER OF GRACE, WE ARE THE RECEIVERS.

FEMININE IS THE TRADITIONAL SYMBOL FOR PASSIVE BECAUSE DURING SEX THE MAN PUTS THE PENIS/SPERM INTO HER BODY, HE IS THE AGGRESSOR, SHE IS THE RECEIVER. IT DOES NOT MEAN ALL WOMEN ARE PASSIVE OR ALL MEN AGGRESSIVE.

EVIL SOULS THAT DO NOT CONTAIN THE GRACE OF GOD, WHEN PERCEIVED BY US, ARE ‘SHADOW FIGURES, DARK ENTITIES, BLACKER THAN BLACK,’ THESE HAVE NO GARB OR CLOTHING OF LIGHT. GOOD SOULS CARRY LIGHT OR ARE TRANSPARENT, TRANSLUCENT.

WHEN A PROPHET ‘GIVES THEIR MANTLE’ TO THE NEXT PROPHET IT MEANS THEIR ‘CLOTHING OF LIGHT’ – THE ANOINTING OR POWER OF GOD WHICH THEY ‘CARRY.’*

SOMEONE WEARING BRIGHT RED WOULD BE RECENT SUFFERINGS, RED CAN ALSO MEAN ‘SANGUINE,’ LIKE ZEALOUS OR FULL OF ENERGY, PURPLE IS OLD OR PROLONGED SUFFERINGS, CAN MEAN ALSO ‘BEEN BEATEN’ AS YOU GET PURPLE SKIN, GARBED IN BLACK IS USUALLY DEPRESSION, A FUNERAL OR ENDING, OR A MYSTERY, LIKE ‘GOD IS DARKNESS OR BLACKNESS TO US—WHO UNDERSTANDS GOD?” IN THIS DREAM RAJ WEARS A STRONG BLUE ROBE, THAT’S SADNESS. VIVID GREEN ROBES ARE STRONG LIFE, YELLOW CLOTHING COULD BE FEAR OR HAPPINESS LIKE ‘SUNSHINE.’ THERE ARE MANY INTERPRETATIONS FOR COLORS.

CLOTHING ALSO HAS MEANING IN BEING DRAPED, PLEATED, TRANSLUCENT, TRANSPARENT, WOOL OR COTTON, SATIN, VELVET, VOLUMINOUS OR SPARSE, LEATHER OR LACE, HUGE VARIETY OF CLOTHING, GARB, HATS, SHOES, COLORS, SHAPES, SIZES ALL HAVE MEANING & ALL MUST BE DISCERNED IN THE CONTEXT OF THE DREAM. (To be explained elsewhere)

ZARZILLA/YOU IS SMILING BECAUSE OF THE IMPROVEMENT—YOU’RE NOT ANXIOUS ANY MORE, YOU’VE GOT JOY. IT’S BOTH OF YOU CLOSER TO TRUTH. IN SEVERAL DREAMS IT WAS SHOWN THAT HE HAS CHANGED DRASTICALLY—SO HAVE YOU. BY YOU ‘LETTING GO’, NOT BEING ANXIOUS, HE CAN’T CONTROL YOU ANY MORE BY THE REIGNS OF DESIRE, YOU ARE FREE. HE NOW SEES THE ONUS IS ON HIM TO DO SOMETHING – HE WILL HAVE TO BEND OR BREAK IF HE WANTS YOU & THE SHOE IS ON THE OTHER FOOT, YOU ARE HAPPY & FREE, BUT HIS WHITE HAIR SHOWS HE ISN’T.)

After the initial ‘neat’ scene she comes back again & clutters up my whole house – which doesn’t make me happy.

(CLUTTERING UP MY HOUSE WOULD BE MESSING UP MY MIND—WHERE YOU LIVE IS YOUR MIND, SOUL, SPIRIT, CONSCIOUSNESS. *This persona is a character within you, one you create, by changing your thoughts, each personality within us has its ideas/feelings, like characters in a movie or play. Some of your new thoughts are not ‘sorted out,’ they are messy or DISORGANIZED. You will see momentarily the SOURCE of these new {not accessed for years} thoughts are from the Hindu gurus.

(WHEN YOU FIRST ACCESSED THESE NONDUALITY TEACHERS THEY EXPLAINED WELL, BUT THEN YOU HIT MURKY ONES THAT WERE NOT CLEAR.)

There also seems like another scene where Raj tells me he’s leaving, but I can’t recall details.

(THE ENTIRE SEQUENCES OF ‘RAJ LEAVING’ ARE BECAUSE NONDUALITY TEACHINGS ARE HELPING YOU LET HIM GO—BEING SECURE, NOT CLINGING, NOT HELPLESS, NOT AFRAID. IF HE IS YOURS, HE’S YOURS–WHATEVER GOD DECREES WILL TRANSPIRE. IF GOD DOES NOT WILL IT, IT HAS TO FALL AWAY. IF GOD WILLS IT, LET IT COME TO PASS.

IN NONDUALITY ONE DOES NOT ATTACH TO ANYTHING—PEOPLE, THINGS, DESIRES – NOTHING. THIS SOUNDS IMPOSSIBLE, BUT IT ISN’T. GOD PERMITS ALL THAT IS NEEDED, ALL THAT IS KARMICALLY RIGHT – ALL THAT IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL, & ALL THAT IS BAD FALLS AWAY. YOU MUST TRUST THAT. LIKE JESUS SAID, FIRST, ‘LET THIS CUP PASS’…BUT THEN ADDED, ‘THY WILL, NOT MINE BE DONE.’ NEVER SHOULD YOU DESIRE ANYTHING NOT GOD’S WILL, IT WILL BE BAD FOR YOU.)

Not only has she messed up the whole house, but she has brought some of her relatives & a whole line of male friends who are from India or another Eastern place where they look like that. They are all young-middle aged, decent looking, energetic & healthy businessmen. After a while they want to do some business here, like it’s only a social visit, but they are so eager to move forward–they want to do something to accelerate a venture.

Some of these men are lined up against the wall, while others are here & there –they are wearing bright clothes, like one has on an orange t-shirt with brown pants, all have strong-colored clothes & some of them, certainly the one in orange, have brown skin. They seem active & happy.

(THESE MEN ARE THE HINDU/YOGA SAINTS YOU’VE BEEN STUDYING RECENTLY. THEY ARE HERE IN YOUR MIND, CHANGING YOU INTO ZARZILLA!

WHY ARE THEY WEARING STRONG-COLORED CLOTHES – ESPECIALLY THIS ONE YOU NOTICE IN ORANGE? USUALLY BRIGHT COLORS INDICATE ‘OF THE EARTH’—NOT THE DEAD, BECAUSE FROM WHERE WE ARE WE DON’T SEE THE DEAD AS ‘COLORFUL,’ WE SEE SOMEONE DYING TURNING GREY, OR THE BLOOD LEAVING THEIR BODY. THIS ONE IN ORANGE IS THE BEST TEACHER—ORANGE IS THE COLOR OF AN EASTERN MONK’S ROBES, ALTHOUGH THIS MAN IS EUROPEAN – DAVID GODMAN TEACHING THE GOSPEL OF RAMANA MAHARSHI.)

These men – there’s four or five of them – we really have a house full – there also seem to be a couple male relatives of hers here ask me if they can make some COPIES on my printer. I tell them I don’t have one. They say

“What? You are in business to do xxxx? & don’t have a printer? That would seem a necessity.”

I had bragged to them about being a successful business woman, well off, & the impression they got was I had lots of clients, etc. But then, I have to clarify,

(THIS BRAGGING IS NO DOUBT COMMENTS YOU PLACED ON YOU TUBE VIDEOS WHERE YOU GAVE IMPRESSIONS OF YOURSELF THAT WERE PUFFED-UP, OR RATHER PEOPLE MISUNDERSTOOD & THINK YOU’RE A ‘BIG OPERATOR.’)

“I only have one client, & that is the Catholic Church. I work for them without pay.”

Indeed, I did my work for charity, it was not what they imagined. This might refer to Holy Masses & prayers of the Catholic Church.

(WHAT IS THE PRINTER? THAT SOUNDS LIKE COPY OR REPETITION. IT MIGHT MEAN PROMOTING THEIR TEACHINGS. OF COURSE YOU ARE PROMOTING THEIR TEACHINGS ON THE INTERNET AS YOU LEARN THEM. THESE MEN ARE ZEALOUS FOR THEIR CAUSE; THEY WANT OTHERS, LIKE YOU, TO PARTICIPATE.

YOU DO MAKE A DISCLAIMER THAT YOU ARE WORKING FOR THE CATHOLICCHURCH—INDEED YOU HAVE PROMOTED THIS WAY ALL YOUR LIFE & (NOT SAYING YOU NEGLECTED YOGA, BUT YOU ARE FOCUSED ON JESUS’ WAYS AS TAUGHT BY THE CATHOLIC THEOLOGY.)

There’s also much to do with the little son of Zar. I explain something,

It’s kind of like we’re having a ‘forum’ – like disclosing secrets of WHAT HAS HURT US – bringing things INTO THE OPEN. Zar seems to be wearing a light blue printed top & bottom & is standing against the wall in front of a doorway, & a few of her people are between us scattered about.

(TO SAY SOMEONE IS ‘AGAINST THE WALL’ IS TO SAY THEY CAN’T GET AWAY. HERE THE DREAMER {CALLED ‘ME’ OR ‘I’-IT IS THE GOD SELF OR WHAT MAHARSHI & OTHERS CALL PLAIN ‘SELF.’} HAS THIS PERSONA AS A CAPTIVE AUDIENCE, SHE CANNOT RESIST THE WORDS.

HER OUTFIT IS FEMININE, HINTING SHE IS TAKING IN THE GOD-WORDS.)

I say to her sincerely,

“Do you know WHAT HURT ME THE MOST? When you visited me with the baby you never offered me to hold him & I was afraid to ask. I don’t think I ever TOUCHED him at all!”

She seems to be HOLDING HIM now & says,

“What did you ever give me?”

I answer,

“I GAVE YOU MY DNA!”

Focusing on those words I see the injustice of her attitude & also that the child of hers, whose love she denies me, also has my DNA.

(I SUSPECT HERE THAT WE’RE TALKING ABOUT SPIRITUAL DNA. THE GOD-SELF IS SAYING THAT THE FLESH PREVENTED GOD POWER FROM TOUCHING THE ‘BABY’ WHO IS ACTUALLY RAJ, THE HUSBAND.

HE IS YOUR CHILD FOR MORE THAN ONE REASON. ONE BEING THAT HE IS A CHILD OF GOD & YOU CAME TO CLAIM HIM FOR GOD’S REALM. YOU GOT HIM AWAY FROM MANY DEMONS.

Then we’re on a large bed, & her son appears in the form of about a ten pound cat with long fuzzy hair, & he is sort of pouncing about the bed, I catch him & hold him as I would a cat, loving him, & saying,

“You were afraid of me, now I guess you’re not.”

(THIS LONG-HAIRED BEAUTIFUL GREY CAT HAS GOTTEN TAMER OVER THE YEARS. SHE USED TO BE AFRAID BUT VISITED & ATE OUTSIDE. JUST A FEW DAYS AGO SHE DECIDED TO STAY IN THE KITCHEN, EAT & SLEEP THERE DAY & NIGHT. PRIOR TO THAT IT HAD BEEN STAY TWELVE HOURS AT THE MOST, PERCHING ON TOP OF A RAG BIN THAT HAS A NICE COVER LIKE A NEST—THEN LEAVE & COME BACK. THERE’S NOW A THICK COAT ON A CHAIR NEAR THE HEAT VENT, THIS IS HER FAVORITE SPOT AS IT’S 50 DEGREES IN THE KITCHEN BUT THIS SPOT IS WARMER.

HER PERSONALITY CHANGED, HER FEAR LEFT, AND THAT’S THE SYMBOL.

RAJ THE HUSBAND WAS ALSO AFRAID BECAUSE OF PTSD & PHOBIAS. THIS COULD BE SAYING HIS FEAR HAS DIMINISHED.)

Then he turns into a human infant, naked, & I’m cradling him on my left arm holding him close, enjoying the love & Zar does two things which annoy me that are unfair. First, she tries to take the child away to take him somewhere, & I say,

(NAKED MEANS ‘OPEN – VULNERABLE – EXPOSED’ LIKE BEING ‘NAKED BEFORE THE LORD’ MEANS BEING HONEST WITH HER. THIS SHOWS A BETTER OPENING BETWEEN RAJ & YOU.)

“I’m playing with him now.”

And then, while he’s in my arms she sort of sneaks around from the left (like behind something) saying,

“Do you love Mommy? Kiss Mommy” like getting his attention again & again.

I tell her this sort of activity isn’t right. Look over there at your husband – Dave – (he’s to the left). If you were in his arms & another guy came up & said ‘kiss me, kiss me, do you love me’ see how screwed up that would be?

(THIS REPEATS THE CONFLICT BETWEEN YOUR GOD-SELF & FLESH, THE FLESH–As I think about this it appears that SHE is the one who’s insecure, as much or moreso than the baby, & that’s why she’s so greedy/jealous about him—won’t allow me to hold him. THE FLESH WAS NOT LETTING GO, I SCOLD HER ON THAT.)

After they found I don’t have a printer, the Hindus said it’s OK, they’ll do what they have to do in the morning—go out somewhere, find a printer & do their mailing. (The one guy reassures everyone twice about this.)

Then I’m busy doing things & I don’t see Zar or her baby & entourage anywhere. I am SURPRISED when I go to the MIDDLE ROOM (in my apt this would be the bedroom) & they are PACKING UP ALL MY THINGS TO TAKE AWAY WITH THEM. This is being done without asking me or saying anything. And when I walk in Zar & the guys are all talking to each other, not explaining anything to me at all.

They’re taking everything I own, everything, in this room, neatly packing it up into large boxes.

One type of item is ‘decorator pillows’ like I used to have long ago. They are bright satin, oranges, reds, they have neatly stacked them all into a box, dozens of them.

Then there’s FLAGS, also of bring orange, reds, all on blonde wooden poles – I don’t need them any more either let them have them. I explain,

“I bought them because I was going to do this publicity stunt & was going to line up the flags along the street to attract people – but I didn’t do the stunt & not going to so don’t need the flags. And I add,

“You can have everything here because I was going to get all new things anyway.”

It was an unusual feeling. It was like I wasn’t going to ENRICH Zar or her people in any way, but they wanted something, so they’re going to take whatever they can. To me, these things no longer have value so it doesn’t upset me at all. Just seems strange they didn’t even ask.

(THIS FINAL ACT IS SAYING ‘YOU ARE A NEW PERSON’ – ALL THE OLD IS BEING TAKEN AWAY. {The new personality in Nonduality is taking away all your old concepts between you & Raj.}

THE ‘HOOPLA’ (FLAGS) YOU WERE GOING TO DO WITH RAJ – TURNING HIM INTO A STAR MAKING A BIG SPECTACLE OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP – YOU AREN’T GOING TO DO. TAKE WASTED EFFORT/STRESS OF THIS AWAY. Flags IN THE STREET means ‘to the public’ brought to the attention of the world—‘Your business in the street’ is everyone knows about it.

THE PILLOWS, MOSTLY RED, IN THE CONTEXT OF THIS, ARE YOU AREN’T GOING TO SUFFER ANY MORE, NO MORE ANXIETY, ATTACHMENT OR PAIN. Pillows: where your head rests. Is it an easy place, fluffy, white, clean & pure? Or if it’s red it’s pain. TAKE IT AWAY. ALL NOT NEEDED IS BEING TAKEN AWAY. IT SEEMS AUTOMATIC, NO DISCUSSION OR RITUALS, IT’S JUST DONE. I was going to get everything new anyway means a new consciousness.)

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Shrine to Shakti, Shrine to Shiva, Uncategorized

HE FINALLY FIGURES IT OUT

1-20-20-SEX DREAM EXPLAINED

I analyze a dream for a friend.

“He finally figures it out.” Symbols explained.

I am with a young man, Atilla. We seem to be in love but there is some sort of problem – he absents himself a lot.

(WE WILL SEE MOMENTARILY THAT THIS IS THE CRUX OF THE ISSUE.)

One day I see this vision: A chair that seems to be made of wood & reeds (this is so vague it might not mean anything, but if it’s true then it’s the chair in my apt kitchen)

The male is sitting in the chair & on the bottom of it is a large white feather, that seems kind of ‘worn’, the size you would get from the wing of a goose, maybe 10”, & it hangs straight down from the chair.

(THIS WHITE FEATHER MEANS ‘SURRENDER’ LIKE A WHITE FLAG & WHAT HAS SURRENDERED IS HIS PENIS, OR THE FACT THAT HE ISN’T GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH THE DREAMER. HE SAYS ‘I GIVE UP.’ WHAT DOES HE GIVE UP? TRYING TO HAVE SEX WITH THE LADY, TRYING TO GET HER TO ‘GIVE IN’ BUT NOT GIVING HER WHAT SHE WANTS – A RELATIONSHIP.

INDEED THE WAY THE CHAIR IS MADE IS APROPOS: WOOD & REEDS, ESPECIALLY THE REEDS, WHICH ARE STRAW.

STRAW IS INSUBSTANTIAL, DOES NOT LAST. STRAW IS HOW HE WANTED THE AFFAIR – FLY BY NIGHT, SEX ONLY – NO PERMANENCE.)

Atilla now comes home. He has wood in front of him, he’s smiling as he’s figured something out. The wood is beautiful. It’s painted white – the pieces of wood are these thick square planks like you use for columns or corners of a house, inside is blonde like Oak. He has a few of these planks & they are all separate but now he puts them together – they fit like a puzzle & form the basis of a bed (the bottom & sides). It’s a powerful bed made of these 8” diameter beams, it has some sort of border to it. I think he’s smiling because it all fits together so perfectly; he has his eyes on the bed, nowhere else, not looking at me.

(ATILLA FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHY BONNY REFUSED TO CONTINUE HAVING SEX WITH HIM. SHE WANTS A RELATIONSHIP.

HE SEES ‘THE PIECES OF THE PUZZLE’ & THEY ALL FIT. THE THICK PLANKS ARE COLUMNS AS WOULD HOLD UP A PORCH, THE CORNERS OF A HOUSE & SUCH. THIS SAYS PERMANENCE, NOT LIKE STRAW WHICH THE WIND BLOWS AWAY.

THESE PIECES OF WOOD ALL FIT TOGETHER LIKE THE THOUGHTS IN HIS MIND, THEY FORM A BED, THEY ARE WHITE. SHE DOESN’T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM ANY MORE BECAUSE SHE WANTS A RELATIONSHIP – WHITE LIKE MARRIAGE.

THIS MAKES HIM SMILE BECAUSE IT ENDS THE PUZZLE THAT TORMENTED HIM – WHY DID SHE ABSENT HERSELF? IT PLEASES HIM BECAUSE HE THEN SEES SHE STILL LOVES HIM, SHE WANTS MARRIAGE * & WITH IT GOES SEX*. HE’S SMILING BECAUSE THIS IDEA MAKES HIM HAPPY – HE WANTS MARRIAGE WITH HER ALSO. IF HE DIDN’T LOVE HER, THIS THOUGHT WOULD NOT MAKE HIM SMILE.)

I’m standing there & become disgruntled. Before, I was alright, now I’m not. I say to him,

“I know why YOU’VE BEEN ABSENT. YOU’VE OBVIOUSLY BEEN DOING SEX TO HER”.

Who ‘her’ is I don’t know – a female he knows & I suspect him but can’t prove it.

(THIS IS PART OF THE PUZZLE: HE IS WITH ANOTHER WOMAN. HE SEES THAT THE DREAMER IS DISGRUNTLED BY THIS, OBVIOUSLY. ABSENT WITH HER BUT PRESENT WITH ANOTHER. HE SEES THAT IS THE BASIS OF HER UNHAPPINESS & HER ABSENTEEISM.)

I seem to look like this: Smooth pretty hair, to the shoulders, but all curved forward, the bangs & bottom of the hair. There is a blue feather-shaped ornament hanging from my temple, my dress is like an old-fashioned Empire-style neckline, a soft color, maybe off-white, draped to the floor, the appearance artistic…….finis

(THE ‘I’ PORTRAYS A TRADITIONAL WOMAN, RATHER DEMURE, the hair tucked in THE TYPE OF IMAGE AS PICTURED IN FINE ART, WHERE THE WOMAN IS SEEN IN A ROMANTIC WAY, THE OBJECT OF LOVE, NOT LUST, NOT A TROLLOP OR SECOND HAND ROSE. THE BLUE ORNAMENT HANGING FROM THE TEMPLE IS THE ISSUE WHICH GRIEVES HER -being blue or sad.

SUCH A WOMAN WOULD SEEK TO BE LOVED IN MARRIAGE, IS MADE UNHAPPY BY HIS OTHER RELATIONSHIP–WILL NOT BE SECOND FIDDLE TO HER.) finis.

……………………………………………………

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Shrine to Shakti, Shrine to Shiva, Uncategorized

SOULS SPEND XMAS WITH ME!

12-24-19-SOULS GATHER ON MY LAND 4 XMAS!

Before the BIG dream I’ll describe there was this scene:

I was some place where in front of me was a girl with an ugly fat face – it was thick & chipmunk cheeks covered with cellulite – but I loved her. I held her face in my hands, she was smiling, I wished her love.

There was another female similar to her on the left who got some of my love also.

(I KNOW THESE WERE SOULS IN PURGATORY. I PRAYED TWO HOURS FOR THEM LAST NIGHT.)

Now the biggie.

EXCERPT FROM FARTHER DOWN: THE LEVELS – YOU’RE ON A LEVEL THEY CAN’T REACH, UP THOSE CHARCOAL STEPS – BUT THEY CAN STEP UP FROM THE “RAILROAD TRACK” LEVEL UP TO AN INTERMEDIATE LEVEL WHERE YOU MEET THEM—INTERMEDIATE IN OTHER WORDS, YOU RAISE THEM UP A LEVEL, THEY COME FROM LOWER DOWN, YOU MEET THEM ON THIS IN-BETWEEN LEVEL—THERE ARE FOUR PEOPLE THAT ARE HEADED HIGHER, REPRESENTED BY A MOM & HER THREE KIDS, SHE BEING FIRST.

I’m just walking about on the edge of my land in an area similar to what I have but different. There is a nice wooden staircase going down about one flight, it’s painted a medium charcoal black color, well done staircase, about 4’ across, has a rail I think.

As I stand there I see the extended lawn, flat, in front of me – it goes a long way left & right, it’s like maybe 50’ deep & beyond it is an edge of woods, just like my real lawn has on the upper part – where the wooded edge goes down to the railroad track, where people could walk up if they wanted to.

To my surprise there are people gathering here who don’t know it’s private property – mine – there’s a tiny group to the left, at least one is wearing a dungaree jacket, just 4-5 people, sort of sitting in different positions on the ground – they seem tentative or not sure where they are settling – & to the right another group seems to be forming who are a couple people.

(MY PRAYERS OPEN UP THE PLACE FOR SOULS TO RECEIVE FROM ME, HERE SEEN AS MY PROPERTY. THEY GATHER AS MY PRAYERS INCREASE. THE DUNGAREE JACKET OF ONE OF THEM SYMBOLIZES POVERTY – POOR SOULS, HOLY SOULS.)

I’m eager TO WELCOME THEM & to that purpose I walk down the yard & speak loudly:

“Friends – you are WELCOME HERE. It’s Christmas & I know you want to celebrate, please do so, & you may come here ANY TIME TO VISIT.”

That was all they needed. A large extended family of people appear, all dressed up for Christmas, from children to grown ups, male & female.

Then they hand me a CAMERA to do movies of them. Strangely, I am good at this. I tell them I used to run a business of making videos & MADE A LOT OF MONEY(but I don’t think they heard the last part.)

They show me which button to push & mostly I get it right but once in a while I hit the wrong one, then I fix it. The panel on the right of the camera – the camera is about the size of my regular photo camera – it’s a light olive color.

So I take pics of their kids lined up on my staircase going to the upper yard (they on the other side of the rail) & above them is their Mom with curly medium grey hair. She’s shy about being filmed – I make a hard turn left to get her in the frame & I say she should be in the movie, she’s turning away reluctantly, don’t know why. She doesn’t think she looks good.

(THIS COULD BE THE STAIRCASE TO HEAVEN, A HIGHER LEVEL, THE MOM LEADING HER KIDS UP MY STAIRS BUT SHE’S ASHAMED SHE’S NOT CLEANSED OF SINS YET – BUT I TELL HER IT’S ALRIGHT, I ACCEPT HER…THIS SHOWS HER HUMILITY. SHE IS LEADING HER CHILDREN TO GO UPWARD.)

Not only do they gather in this yard & all seem to be having the time of their life, but they come into my house.

There are rooms decorated in beautiful red & gold, like all kinds of Christmas decorations, these velvet type drapes hanging from the tops of the walls with golden bows, etc., things like that everywhere.

What struck me later is that THERE WAS NO FOOD.

It was then I decided I MUST START SAYING MASS FOR THEM AGAIN & this morning I did.

(IF YOU HAD BEEN SAYING MASSES THESE SOULS MIGHT HAVE ASCENDED. THEREFORE, MAYBE THEY WILL NOW THAT YOU STARTED, HOPEFULLY IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS.

YOUR PROPERTY OR DOMAIN IS YOU’RE INVITING THESE SOULS TO RECEIVE FROM YOUR STOREHOUSE OR CATCHMENT OF GRACE, THE LEVEL YOU’RE ON, YOU INVITE THEM UP THERE.

THE LEVELS – YOU’RE ON A LEVEL THEY CAN’T REACH, UP THOSE CHARCOAL STEPS WHICH MEAN MARTYRDOM – BUT THEY CAN STEP UP FROM THE “RAILROAD TRACK” LEVEL UP TO AN INTERMEDIATE LEVEL WHERE YOU MEET THEM—INTERMEDIATE IN OTHER WORDS, YOU RAISE THEM UP A LEVEL, THEY COME FROM LOWER DOWN, YOU MEET THEM ON THIS IN BETWEEN LEVEL—THERE ARE FOUR PEOPLE THAT ARE HEADED HIGHER, REPRESENTED BY A MOM & HER THREE KIDS, SHE BEING FIRST.

THEY’RE ON VARIOUS DEGREES OF CLEANSING.

THIS IS SUCH A SATISFYING DREAM! MY PRAYERS WERE EFFECTIVE & ENCOURAGED ME TO START SAYING MASSES AGAIN FOR SOULS.)

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Shrine to Shiva, Uncategorized

XXV – the NEW RELIGION – WHAT PROFIT A WOMAN

XXV – the NEW RELIGION – WHAT PROFIT A WOMAN – 10-14-19

What profit a woman if she gains the whole world but loses her soul, for what will she exchange for her soul?

When I was twelve years old I saw a play on television. Two men were endlessly waiting for ‘Godot.’ It was not explained who or what this was except you imagine it’s someone or something special.

They waited & waited, each one kept asking the other if he’d seen Godot, but no one had, they were frustrated.

Finally this guy comes along carrying a bag full of rags. They ask his name. He says,

“I am Godot.”

They don’t believe him, they argue.

Godot is of course God, but we fail to recognize that we find Her IN OUR POVERTY, which means spiritual poverty, (not FINANCIAL RUIN)—which means no attachment to people, things, the world, fame & fortune, being somebody special, etc. It is utmost humility, lack of ego, being like a person ‘dead’ to the world.

I am not being a wise-ass saying I am perfect & always there. But I have been there, for periods of time, & that was when I had my PEAK EXPERIENCES OF GOD especially seeing God FACE TO FACE. ‘You cannot see God as God is & live’ is apropos. Understand ‘to live’ is to be alive with the antonyms of poverty.

St. Francis of Assisi was seeking the ultimate vision of God. He was loaned the use of a mountain named Alverna. He climbed that mountain laboriously to find Truth, & there She was, a pitiful waif dressed in rags.

The Sacred Exchange between Saint Francis and Lady Poverty

The Sacred Exchange between Saint Francis and Lady Poverty is a text of the early Franciscan movement. Scholars suggest a date in the late thirteenth century. “Holy poverty … is the foundation and guardian of all virtues.”

Jesus came to earth to exemplify poverty – He taught it to us. Never did he seek fame or fortune, recognition yes, but for his WORK, for God Almighty, not for EGO or aggrandizement of the flesh.

His story is etched in the minds of many, but do we apply it to ourselves or do the opposite? Most people when asked what they’d like more than anything in the world will say ‘To win the lottery,’ or ‘To have a million dollars.’

But the person who HAS a million dollars should say

“All I want is the Will of God.”

You can’t go wrong with the Will of God – It’s a prayer THAT CANNOT FAIL. There are numerous prayers you can make, but in the end, the Will of God is what matters, what takes us & everyone to Our Greatest God – ask for a thousand things, but those things granted, be they not the Will of God cannot make us happy.

Why people want wealth – they make excuses,

“It’s for my family – for my children.”

Well, don’t have a family, don’t burden the world with your children & you don’t have to be rich.

Seek spiritual riches because they are forever, but money you ‘cannot take it with you.’

THE GRACES NO ONE PRAYS FOR

A stigmatized monk in Italy—Bro Gino—(who later became a priest) saw Our Holy Mother standing by the side of the road weeping. He asked her why & She said,

“Because I have graces to give WHICH NO ONE ASKS FOR. He did not explain any further.

I began to pray, each day for these graces, not knowing what they were. This was late maybe October 1981.

A couple months later I was standing face a picture of Our Lord on the wall when I felt Her calling me to turn around, where Her image was opposite

The room became rarified with Light – I heard Her say –

“Do you like the Graces my Son gave you?”

I said,

“Yes, what more could anyone ask for?”

(She was referring to the three Graces, symbolized by rings on my left hand, which represented Faith, Hope & Charity, that Our Lord gave me in January, 1978.)

She said,

“I have my Graces to give you also.”

I said,

“What are they, Mother?”

She said,

“They are poverty, chastity & obedience.”

I then asked her to clarify what she meant by poverty, She said,

“That you not be attached to the things of the world & people – only to God.”

I saw a grey rope made of Light around my waist, extending into Heaven, in fact, three ropes as She described the graces.

I asked what was meant by obedience, & She said,

“Obedience to all the words you know of my Son & myself.”

(BTW although there aren’t many teachings from Holy Mary in the bible, the book ‘Mystical City of God’ by Ven. Mary of Agreda, is the life & teachings of Our Holy Mother – there is rich material there.)

I felt I understood ‘chastity’ but now looking back I wish I had asked, that chastity could be much more than refraining from sex.

I then rattled on about wished-for projects including the ‘Mary Magdalene Monastery’ which was for women who wanted to leave the adult trade & abusive men. She heard me through & said,

“I will come for you when you are finished with your work.”

The Light faded, the vision ended.

WHAT IS SPIRITUAL POVERTY?

Having the grace of poverty does not mean you will be worried about paying your bills, it means ‘Putting first the Kingdom of God & everything shall be added unto you.’

God knows when it’s appropriate for you to live ‘week to week,’ or even be dead broke & homeless & God knows when you should be flush.

If God wants you to do a work for Her if it takes money (& usually does) then She will put it in your hands. Few homeless people are doing the work of God, Jesus wasn’t homeless & few saints were – some might have been for a time, but even the poorest, humblest saints usually lived in convents, monasteries, or were somehow sheltered & fed.

I recall reading how St. Clare of Assisi & her women were ‘provided for’ by the men of St. Francis order. (She was St. Francis top disciple & entered into religious life inspired by him. She also gave up a privileged lifestyle for God.) Am not sure who provided the roof over their heads – (it was not great but they made do) – but I read they contributed food. Mostly, it says that she & the Poor Clares ‘lived by the work of their hands.’

Better yet, Saint Benedict (the father of monasticism) lived as a hermit where crows brought him bread! Men pleaded he build a place for them to serve God & he created the first monastery. This is important:

St. Benedict said that living the life of a hermit alone was superior (spiritually) to living in a monastery or convent, the latter being the next best thing. Remember how I urged you to be alone as much as possible? There are good reasons for this.

You cannot find THE GOD WITHIN amidst the clamor & distractions of other people & the world. The God within us is in THE UNCONSCIOUS. When you traverse the world’s planes the unconscious closes up like a clam shell because to remain OPEN is psychologically dangerous. I have experienced this where my inner voice said to me, as I embarked on the road for dancing,

“I have to close up as you are suffering too much.”

I actually heard a large, heavy iron door like creaking shut!

It was sad, as I would not be unable to hear the still, small voice of God effectively – it took work to get to it, it didn’t speak to me spontaneously.

I have not been lucky enough to stay in that state for years on end – it always ended when I had to go to work or for some reason or other, associate a lot with people.

How do you suffer in the world & from people? Do I have to explain? Every time I begin to get conversational with people there is stress, different degrees of it. It could be just mild or wild. If someone gets close to you & does challenging things – things that get to your emotions – if someone says or does something to you that hurts or confounds you the focus goes to that – then the unconscious shuts down so your spiritual radar won’t get blown. I don’t know how else to explain it.

The spiritual thoughts, feelings, emotions are super sensitive & they cannot be ‘out there’ in a gross world, within gross situations. Even being a clerk in a store is gross to the unconscious mind or the spirit. Your mind enters into money, merchandise & customers. You’re thinking of time & space, functioning without making mistakes, customers can vent their displeasure or wrath – it all takes away from God. Then of course you worry as you need the job about getting fired, you are never completely relaxed or secure. Even the most innocent job or outside project can be a distraction.

Now if the job is dangerous, such as being in war, especially the front lines, or walking the street in the adult trade, the stress goes off the chart. Here not only can you not concentrate on God, you need a drug to keep from going crazy.

(For adult trade workers it’s a catch 22 situation. They need drugs to hold down the anxiety. THEY GET RAPED ONCE A WEEK. Then they get addicted & have to work for more drugs. The judicial justice system does not help, it is a de facto pimp when it arrests adult workers & fines them. The worker must pay the government with sex acts to keep going – they go ‘round a circle of work, get fined, work more to pay fines. Their work is legitimate, but criminalizing them makes the society a pimp……….Adult trade workers have as much right to do what they do as does a psychologist, psychiatrist, doctor or nurse, a chiropractor or masseuse – they are assisting men with serious physical, emotional needs – they are not criminals in the eyes of God.)

A woman exhausted from a regular job plus the daily chores of life might not have the wherewithal to do God’s work. Such work might be temporary, in God’s economy & God will find her a way later on, possibly with the resources she collected.

Women, such as myself, might gain money through business, invest it & later use it for spiritual projects. One style of life isn’t for all time.

I was totally intimate with God, in a state of perfection, in 1980-81 & up to late 1982.

Then I prayed for the Interior Divine Stigmata, received it, all my Holy Spirit Gifts (the ability to use them though Gifts are never taken away once given) & Intimacy with God were removed. But in Her economy, She prepared for me a business in 1987, then a fiancé & husband who could live with my celibacy. I could not pray intimately to God – it was the ‘dark night of the soul’ where the Presence of God, Her consolation, left me. But I was able to tithe for Souls in Purgatory, a tidy sum of money every year, & accumulated bread for future spiritual work, & later, my husband enabled me with money to build the church.

This spiritually empty state remained with me from October 9, 1982 until the year 2000 – eighteen years without God – similar to when Jesus was ‘done in’ on the Cross & said,

“My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?”

And this, I might add, is SPIRITUAL POVERTY. You might be rich in money, but oh how poor you are in the Dark Night of the Soul. (Not to confuse you, you can be suffering during spiritual poverty – terribly – or you can be happy in spiritual poverty by being non-attached to people but only to God.)

GOD PROVIDES FOR HER WORK

God also provides to women She has called, in bygone days, through their husbands. Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s husband was well off – Emmeline Pankhurst’s was a doctor.

(In Pankhurst’s time there was a slum in England called ‘The West End.’ Jack London wrote of it extensively. He, as a journalist, actually lived & worked there, even went to the ‘work houses’ to discover the situation. Those from there who could get jobs were paid below minimum wage. What could they do for anyone in that condition? The West End described by London was a quasi-hell—the people a Patriarchal society as explained by Karl Marx, wants to propagate so they have a body of souls to exploit—wage slavery.)

Jesus’ ministry was supported by the families of the disciples, his Mother Mary, other Holy Women – especially Mary Magdalene. Magdalene was NOT a prostitute! That lie was perpetrated by a priesthood that wanted to degrade her. She was actually the millionaire-status daughter of a Roman Prince & a Jewess, she owned the city of Magdala. Anne Catherine Emmerich, a stigmatized mystic, said of all the disciples of Jesus, she was the most spiritually advanced.

Some people believe that Magdalene was Jesus’ common-law wife – I have no problem with that. Sex is not a sin, Jesus was human, if she was His wife it in no way diminished His greatness nor hers.

Upon the discovery of the Magdalene Gospel some new truths were revealed. It seems that Jesus wanted her to head his Church, but of course, the men, with Peter as top banana, wouldn’t have it. They pushed her out, she went to the Essenes, an austere sisterhood who lived as a hermitage in caves.

In her gospel it says that ‘Jesus kissed her on the lips’ which displays intimacy, that she was his favorite, & the men disciples were jealous.

Anne Catherine Emmerich says that Magdalene gave Jesus good sums of money, with which he bailed out hundreds of innocent souls from jail.

When traveling, the disciples lodged with their families, & many Holy Women gave help.

Luke 8:3 Joanna the wife of Herod’s household manager Chuza …

and Susanna, and many others who were contributing to their support out of their private means.

Jesus ministry could hardly have survived with no money & God does not expect you to work for Her without providing for you!

“Put first the Kingdom of God & everything shall be added unto you!”

And also,

“Take care of God’s business & She will take care of yours.”

Woman, thou art God.

Jesus, & all his saints, were revolutionaries. They did not fall into the trap of this evil Patriarchy. They resisted its teachings & lies, & so must you.

Jesus taught Love, & Matriarchy is Love. We stand for the Culture of Life, Love, Do unto others as you would have others do unto you, Love thy neighbor as thyself – Whatever you do to the least of these you do to me, Patriarchy does the opposite, & that includes Patriarchy’s Mullahs, Priests & ministers – most of them. They are not your friends & should not be your leaders, guides or teachers. Keep away from them & keep your children away.

To be like Jesus & all the saints, turn your back on Patriarchy, step apart from it. Find your autonomy, your own sainthood, do not degrade yourself into materialism & the lower things of life, do not believe their lies about women, or their version of scriptures & truth, live for your own God & Happiness.

Don’t be afraid of Patriarchs, trust in Mother God to provide for you, don’t even be afraid of death, be afraid of the death of your soul, which men of Patriarchy seek. Live & be a brave woman, not a coward who gives in to the demons. Resist the demons, obey no man. Stand apart stand free & tall – begin now.

To be continued Rasa Von Werder 10-14-19

College of God & Love, College of Love Making, Shrine to Shiva

WOMEN’S FEELINGS ON SEXUALITY

WOMEN /MEN THINK DIFFERENTLY RE. SEX

There is an entire book in the difference in male/female view of sexuality.
The predominant vision of it is presented by “the old men” of Patriarchy.
I am at the forefront of “the old women” of Matriarchy.
I herald the time – coming soon – when women will rule the family and the world once again, and men will be their workers, drones, slaves and sex objects – complete role reversal to what was 10,000 years ago and the prior record of 200,000 years from archaeology.
But I do not degrade men the way the old men have taught young men to degrade, denigrate women. In these shrines I present how to worship God through the bodies of both male and female.
Matriarchy is NOT a reversal of Patriarchy, as many assume.
Women are Mothers, they care about people.
Yes, it is a deep and complicated issue, and I am full of passion on it.And no, there are not many women on board. And no, they are just learning to see sex another way, I am helping them. They are still repressed, prudish and brainwashed. They need sexual liberation.
Guru Rasa 9 10 14

OLD WOMEN MUST TEACH BOYS AND MEN HOW TO MAKE LOVE. OTHERWISE YOU HAVE "BLOW AND HUMP" - THE STANDARD, FOR WOMEN, DISSAPOINTING RITUAL OF SEX.

OLD WOMEN MUST TEACH BOYS AND MEN HOW TO MAKE LOVE. OTHERWISE YOU HAVE “BLOW AND HUMP” – THE STANDARD, FOR WOMEN, DISAPPOINTING RITUAL OF SEX.

WHAT WOMEN WANT IN SEX – Guru Rasa Von Werder

Women want something men are slow to give: Touch, caress, gentle kissing, oral and manual stimulation, massage, overall tenderness and caring touches before, during and after sex that might be called “romantic.”
“Romance” by my definition is caring mixed with sex, or love and sex together. The reason women are not getting this is because the old men are teaching the young how to “make love” which is not love at all.
They begin with the premise is that women are not to be loved, they are to be used. Hear them in the scriptures and the pulpits of old. Obviously, today priests are not telling the audience that men should beat women, but once this was routine. All bible belters know how St. Paul towed the Orthodox line and women were not to preach but commanded to obey their husbands. What kind of sex would this portend, where the male dominates? – Selfish sex, based solely on his orgasm.
Then again, in most recent time, the Sainted Pope John Paul II said some twisted things regarding sex, to wit, that husbands must not lust for their wives, that sex is for procreation only. I love the man dearly and he went straight to Heaven, no Purgatory, but he was wrong on this issue, wronged because he was brainwashed as we all were.
Slowly we are coming out of the fog, the delusion, regarding the dirtiness and danger of sex. We are waking back up to the reality that sex is sacred, blessed, as holy as any act we can infuse with the energy of love.
After beating us up in the pulpit and destroying the love of men for women, they continue to assault as in pornography. Here women are then degraded, made to be less than animals, by one or more men beating off on their faces, penetrating them not even in the sacred yoni, but now, the anus predominates. Men are teaching boys/men that women are no better than homosexuals, if their anus is good enough for screwing, so are the anuses of men.
What happened here? What is the political ramification?
It so happens that Patriarchs subdued the earth – first women, then all of mankind and animals – through terror, the terror of physical violence and murder. After that it became psychological death.
You kill a person by stripping away their identity and self worth – this was done at great labor to women, (and later to any men that stood in the way of Patriarchs). Obviously, they couldn’t do it completely, they could not turn women into zombies, but they succeeded in confusing the issues; lots of deluded, dazed females walking about the earth, obeying men either from brainwashing or fear of retribution, even death.
As I say in “How to Make Love to a Woman” lesson One, that you cannot make love to a woman unless you love them. Patriarchs turned love making into fucking, using and exploiting.
They tell men what women are for. They explain who women are. Men are first, women second. Women obey men. Men obey men (men in office, men in government, men in military.) The subjugation of men to men begins at home, as 25% of all boys, by military statistics, are molested by their own Dads. Factor in grandfathers, uncles, priests, Boy Scout leaders, choir directors, employers and others, and what then is the percentile?
The result of abusing boys from the cradle is stealing them from the embraces of Mother, confusing them as to who is their care giver and security. Obviously, Mother’s touch is gentle and non-sexual. Men envied that – it gives Mother Influence over the young. They then indoctrinated their own touch, which is often painful. Penises are like knives going into the anuses and vaginas of little children. This is Patriarchy – this is an important part of their plan to dominate the earth by corrupting, damaging the young from the time they cannot defend themselves.
What is the result of this molestation? Confused males who don’t know what they are. Are they gay or straight? Bisexual? Are women to be loved or hated? Their instinct tells them to worship women, adore women old enough to be their mother and beyond; Patriarchy tells them to hold women in contempt fuck young women and get them pregnant so we can have more cannon fodder.
The teachings of the old women are the exact opposite of the old men. Women teach males compassion, empathy, kindness and love. This is the greatest danger to Patriarchy, based on brutality, domination, selfishness and greed. Buddhism and Christianity, true religion, are the enemies of Patriarchy. These scriptures have ancient Mother God origins, as did all religions on earth.
As I said, the teachings of the old women are like so:

1 Respect, love, venerate women and worship God as a benevolent, maternal God, not a warlike one.

2 Care about the feelings of a woman. That means courtesy, respect, – do not use them and walk away. The “fuck’m n duck’m” might be an instinct encouraged by other males. Granted, males do have instincts different than women’s, (such as to impregnate many) but these instincts have to be guided toward good.

3 When you have sex with a female, don’t act like she’s a stranger next day. This is a complaint I get from college girls, and my own Beloved has done this to me. I shall never forget that after a Friday night of blissful love, I sat in the club next day, waiting for him to appear. There he was, at the end of the bar, getting his drink. He turned, saw me, gave me a blank look and walked away. He then chatted with another female in the patio for twenty minutes, not having given me even one. At the end of the night he asked me out – I was so hurt I walked away.
The college girls say to me,
“You have sex with a guy and the next day in class he acts like he doesn’t know you.”

4 After you have sex, do not exit as fast as possible. This is particularly hurtful to a woman. My Beloved once left the premises while I was in the bathroom cleaning up – without saying goodbye. I come out of the bathroom, he is gone. All that he said and did then had no relevance? It seemed so. God told me different, that in his heart was true love. But his ratchet behavior was a lack of culture and programming by women. He was schooled in the demon world of Patriarchs.
Another time he promised to spend hours with me. We spoke lovingly for a half hour, then we had sex. I went to the kitchen for a moment. Coming back to the bedroom, he was already on the phone seeking a ride out. This is love? Yes, I know love is in his heart, but on the outside, his ways are all wrong. Why? Lack of schooling.
Males today, unless they are of the wealthy class, do not know how to help a woman with her coat, or hold the door for her, or speak to her pleasantly without being rude, crude or offensive: Patriarchy. They learn crudeness from peers and the mainstream media which features lack of caring and violence.

What the old women need to teach young males is how to love women. That is the beginning, that is Matriarchy.

I told my Lover that he would reach Enlightenment by loving me. This is Shaktiism. The man receives from the God-women her Anointing, her Divine Power, as he applies his tenderness to her. It’s not about his physical spurt, – no spurt until the woman is satisfied. He has to attend to her in any way she wants until she is well pleased. This may take fifteen minutes or an our or two or three. Dr. Stanley Bass, who writes about his method called “Karezza Sex” does his thing to his female four hours at a time, three times a week. The man is almost 100 years old and his sex methods and raw-food diet have kept him healthy, happy, horny and lucid all this time. He wrote his last book age 97, when most men are dead or demented. Twelve hours a week in the bed with his woman anoints him to be powerful.

I told my lover he would reach Enlightenment by being with me; he would see God face to face eventually, which would take a number of years. He agreed, but that very night, schooled by Patriarchy, was the night he called someone for a ride as soon as I left the room. Because of this I have not spoken to him for six weeks and will not do so until he returns on bended knee. When males are tutored wrong, it’s a lot of trouble to erase their bad habits and teach them new ones.

Guru Rasa Von Werder…Jan. 4, 2015

TO ENJOY THE IMAGE SHOW, HIT A PICTURE, THEN HIT THE “GO” AND THEY WILL AUTOMATICALLY CLIC ON FOR YOU ONE BY ONE

: HONOR MOTHER GOD AND HER SEX

: WE’LL REGAIN A HEALTHY VIEW OF SEX WITH MATRIARCHY–THAT SEX IS BLESSED AND SACRED

: SEX IS SACRED WHEN YOU MAKE IT SO

: HONOR MOTHER GOD AND HER SEX

: HONOR MOTHER GOD AND HER SEX

: SEX IS SACRED WHEN YOU MAKE IT SO

: SHAKTIISM IS 22,000 YEARS OLD. ALL PATRIARCHAL RELIGIONS ORIGINATED FROM MOTHER GOD WORSHIP. THEY WERE APPROPRIATED TO MALE INTERESTS.

: HONOR MOTHER GOD AND HER SEX

: WHEN YOU ENGAGE IN SEX, THINK OF THE GOD WHO CREATED IT AND THANK HER FOR IT. GRATITUDE FOR SEX IS RIGHTEOUS.

: ALL RELIGIONS CAME FROM WOMEN AND MOTHER GOD. MEN WERE TAUGHT TO PLEASE WOMEN. THEY OBTAINED DIVINE ENERGY, PEACE, SHAKTI OR GOD ENERGY THROUGH RESPECT AND DEVOTION, EVEN WORSHIP OF WOMEN.

: MATRIARCHY WILL BRING BACK SACREDNESS OF SEX

: SHAKTIISM IS 22,000 YEARS OLD. ALL PATRIARCHAL RELIGIONS ORIGINATED FROM MOTHER GOD WORSHIP. THEY WERE APPROPRIATED TO MALE INTERESTS.

: SEX IS SACRED WHEN YOU MAKE IT SO

: OLD WOMEN MUST TEACH BOYS AND MEN HOW TO MAKE LOVE. OTHERWISE YOU HAVE “BLOW AND HUMP” – THE STANDARD, FOR WOMEN, DISAPPOINTING RITUAL OF SEX.SEX IS SACRED WHEN YOU MAKE IT SO

: HONOR MOTHER GOD AND HER SEX

: OLD WOMEN MUST TEACH BOYS AND MEN HOW TO MAKE LOVE. OTHERWISE YOU HAVE “BLOW AND HUMP” – THE STANDARD, FOR WOMEN, DISAPPOINTING RITUAL OF SEX.

: WHEN A CHILD IS DEPRIVED OF MOTHER INTIMACY WE HAVE PANDEMIC “ATTACHMENT DISORDER” – WHICH MEANS SUBSTANCE ABUSE, SUICIDE, HOMICIDE, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION & SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION

: OLD WOMEN MUST TEACH BOYS AND MEN HOW TO MAKE LOVE. OTHERWISE YOU HAVE “BLOW AND HUMP” – THE STANDARD, FOR WOMEN, DISAPPOINTING RITUAL OF SEX.SEX IS SACRED WHEN YOU MAKE IT SO

: OLD WOMEN MUST TEACH BOYS AND MEN HOW TO MAKE LOVE. OTHERWISE YOU HAVE “BLOW AND HUMP” – THE STANDARD, FOR WOMEN, DISAPPOINTING RITUAL OF SEX.

: ALL RELIGIONS CAME FROM WOMEN AND MOTHER GOD. MEN WERE TAUGHT TO PLEASE WOMEN. THEY OBTAINED DIVINE ENERGY, PEACE, SHAKTI OR GOD ENERGY THROUGH RESPECT AND DEVOTION, EVEN WORSHIP OF WOMEN.

: WE ARE NOW MOVING BACK INTO MATRIARCHY, THE CULTURE OF LIFE; KALI YUGA (PATRIARCHY) IS ENDING

: HONOR MOTHER GOD AND HER SEX

: SEX IS SACRED WHEN YOU MAKE IT SO

: OLD WOMEN MUST TEACH BOYS AND MEN HOW TO MAKE LOVE. OTHERWISE YOU HAVE “BLOW AND HUMP” – THE STANDARD, FOR WOMEN, DISAPPOINTING RITUAL OF SEX.SEX IS SACRED WHEN YOU MAKE IT SO

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