College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Uncategorized

FISHER OF MEN

1-26-20-FISHER OF MEN-MY YOU TUBE VIDEOS

DREAM:

There’s a huge piece of cloth, like an entire bolt, unraveled, & I’ve made a sort of large ‘pom pom’ out of it & am using it as part of my ‘costume’ or outfit on the air. It has some sort of round baubles decorating it, interspersed here & there, like pearls but bigger, more like small Xmas tree ornaments – yellow or gold.

I also have glamorous cleavage. Now I’ve finished my video talk, turn away from the camera & am trying to organize the net.

It is lying there in a bundle. I had to sort of cut many pieces now it’s lying there rumpled up.

I ask people things but no one seems to be in charge or responding, so I figure, OK, I’ll cut it into squares, put it into a neat pile, & that is that. I’m smiling, I’m happy.

MEANING:

THE NET WITH GOLD OR YELLOW BAUBLES SEEMS TO BE IMPORTANT.

A NET WOULD BE A SIEVE OR FISHING NET OR A SPIDER’S WEB – SOMETHING BY WHICH TO CATCH.

IN THE CONTEXT OF THIS DREAM I FEEL THE NET IS A ‘FISHING NET’ THAT CATCHES MANY FISH. THE FISH ARE REPRESENTED BY THE BAUBLES WITHIN THE NET – PEOPLE WHO LOVE ME (I HAVE CAUGHT THEM IN MY NET.)

THEY BEING FISH ARE PEOPLE I HAVE CAUGHT FOR GOD. JESUS SAID TO PETER,

“I WILL MAKE YOU FISHERS OF MEN.”

THE STRIKING CLEAVAGE IS OF COURSE MEN LIKE MY BREASTS, BUT IT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT, THEY REPRESENT MY LOVE. I SYMBOLIZE LOVE; I AM DOING THESE VIDEOS OUT OF GOD’S LOVE.

HOW AM I DEALING WITH THE NET AT THE END?

CUTTING THE NET INTO ‘SQUARES’ IS I MADE A BOOK OUT OF MY SPEECHES. THE SQUARES ARE THE PAGES OF THE BOOK. IN OTHER WORDS, THE ‘NET’ MATERIAL IS NOW BOOK MATERIAL. IT’S A BOOK OUT OF MY YOU TUBE VIDEOS.

……………………………

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Uncategorized

DREAM PREDICTS LOVE

THE ACTOR WHO WILL GO WITH ME @ THE END OF THE DAY

1-26-20-Dream interpreted for a friend

This answers a prayer ‘Give me something positive about my male friend Bryun, something honest, truthful, not wishful thinking but happy, re now &/or the future.’

I’m in a building where I go by a large office & peeking in, I think I see an actor friend of mine who’s in the middle of doing a scene. There is some ‘fuzzy’ light around him.

(I SEE AN ACTOR: SEE A MAN DOING A PART, POSSIBLY PRETENDING RATHER THAN SOMETHING ‘FROM THE HEART.’

FUZZY LIGHT COULD BE HIS POV, PERSPECTIVE. HE’S ON STAGE BUT THE LIGHT IS NOT CLEAR, A FUZZY LIGHT COULD BE SAYING ‘THIS CAN’T WORK BECAUSE THE AUDIENCE CAN’T SEE WELL.’ IT MIGHT MEAN ‘DISHONEST PERFORMANCE.’)

I wait outside until the scene is over; I walk in & say to someone who might be in charge,

(I SPEAK TO SOMEONE WHO MIGHT BE IN CHARGE: LAST NIGHT I CHANNELED MY BF’S GOD-SELF. HIS GOD PART WAS PRETTY DISGRUNTLED WITH HIS BEHAVIOR/LIFESTYLE –

REMINDS ME OF THIS STATUE I’VE SEEN IN A MEME WHERE A SMALL ANGEL IS DOING A BIG PUNCH IN THE AIR—A MAN GETS UNDER HIS FIST & SAYS ‘THIS IS WHEN YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL HAS HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR SHYT.’)

“Oh, I thought this was a friend of mine, an actor I know, but now that I come closer I see it isn’t him.”

(‘IT ISN’T HIM’ MEANS THIS IS ‘NOT THE MAN I KNEW’ OR HE ISN’T ACTING LIKE HE USED TO.)

The man looks happy; he has light brown-reddish hair framing his face with mustache & beard. As I come closer he’s different than my friend, not as handsome & slightly chubby.

(‘HE LOOKS HAPPY’ & REDDISH HAIR ARE OPPOSITES. THE HAIR SAYS PAIN, THE ‘LOOKS HAPPY’ COULD BE DECEIVING—HE’S PRETENDING HAPPINESS. HIS PERSONALITY TO THE PUBLIC IS HE HASN’T A CARE IN THE WORLD, HAPPY-GO-LUCKY—BUT IN REAL LIFE I’VE ALWAYS KNOWN IT’S AN ACT, PRETENDING TO HIMSELF AS WELL AS THE PUBLIC.

I ALSO DON’T RECOGNIZE HIM WITH THE MUSTACHE & BEARD IS THAT AFTER OUR INITIAL DATE, I DID NOT SEE HIM FOR A LONG TIME. I MET HIM WITH LONG CURLY HAIR, CLEAN SHAVEN. YEARS LATER HE APPEARS WITH A CREW CUT, MUSTACHE & BEARD, ON THIS DATE I DON’T KNOW HE’S THE SAME MAN.

BUT THERE IS A SECOND INTERPRETATION OF THE MUSTACHE & BEARD – IT’S A DISGUISE, A MASK, THE WAY GUYS PUT ON SANTA CLAUS BEARDS.

BEING CHUBBY IS GETTING FAT WITH IN THIS CONTEXT, THE FOOD OF THE WORLD. TAKING A FAT PERSON TO HEAVEN IS IMPOSSIBLE, IT’S LIKE THE RICH MAN ENTERING HEAVEN ‘THROUGH THE EYE OF A NEEDLE.’ HE HAS TOO MANY BURDENS OR POSSESSIONS – THE EYE OF A NEEDLE WAS ACTUALLY A GATE JESUS REFERRED TO, WHICH WAS SO NARROW THAT A FULLY-LOADED CAMEL COULD NOT GET THROUGH—YOU HAD TO TAKE OFF SOME OF HIS BAGGAGE. I SUSPECT THIS CONTEXT BECAUSE IT ALSO SAYS HE ISN’T AS HANDSOME AS THE MAN I KNEW – HE HAS SUNK DOWN SPIRITUALLY. HANDSOME OR BEAUTY IS THE SOUL. )

The feeling here is ‘auditioning’ for a part, trying out a part, being tested, but this is all vague, I just know he’s an actor doing something. Oh yes, I do add this,

“My friend was trying to get ahead but he couldn’t get anywhere.”

To this the manager rather agrees like,

“Yes we know, they all try but fail.”

(THIS IS THE SAME MAN, I WILL UNDERSTAND LATER, & I AM REFERRING TO THE MAN I KNEW WHO IS NONE OTHER THAN THIS MAN. IT’S SAYING THAT HE TRIED, IS TRYING, TO GET SOMEWHERE, BUT HE’S FAILED & WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO. HE THINKS & HOPES HE’LL SUCCEED—WHEN I CHANNELED HIS GOD SELF IT SAID HE WILL FAIL AT WHAT HE’S TRYING TO DO, HE’S WASTING HIS TIME.)

Finished with this episode, I go out the back door of this imposing grey building (it is a beautiful building & has trees around near it, a suburb, not a city.

I walk out the back entrance & as I go to the other side of it I see it has more of a ‘front’ entrance & from here that actor boy comes out with his friends. I am ‘bumping into him’ it seems more than anticipated. He’s wearing a long light brown Cashmere-style coat with white underneath. There’s light all around him, his friends, this entrance.

(CASHMERE-STYLE COAT WITH WHITE UNDERNEATH: CASHMERE IS A GOAT, THE FINEST, MOST EXPENSIVE FLEET, IT’S LIGHT BROWN & LONG. IF IT WAS PLAIN WOOL I’D SAY HE’S BEING SUBMISSIVE (SHEEP) BUT GOATS REPRESENT THE OPPOSITE: REBELLION. ON THE OUTSIDE HE IS REBELLIOUS TO OUR RELATIONSHIP, BUT INSIDE, THE WHITE AGAINST HIS SKIN, CHEST/HEART SAYS ‘I AM READY FOR MARRIAGE.’ INSIDE HE IS READY, ON THE OUTSIDE IT’S HIDDEN.

THERE HAS TO BE A MEANING TO THIS IMPOSING BUILDING, IT’S LIKE AN INSTITUTION, A MUSEUM, BUT OLD-FASHIONED. IT’S GREY STONE, BIG TREES AROUND, TWO ENTRANCE/EXITS BATHED IN LIGHT.

MY INNER VOICE CALLS IT A ‘MAUSOLEUM’. I ASK WHY, THE ANSWER IS:

THE DEAD PAST, A BURIAL PLACE, WHAT IS FINISHED.

LIKE WHEN SCROOGE ASKED THE SPIRIT WHAT IS THIS?– THE LONG PAST? & SPIRIT SAID, ‘YOUR PAST.’

THIS CLUE IS SAYING THE PART; THE LIFE BRYUN IS LIVING NOW WILL SOON BE OVER. I EXIT THIS PLACE (THIS LIFE SITUATION) ONE WAY, HE EXITS THE OTHER, & WE MEET, & HE WILL GIVE ME A MESSAGE, SEEN AT THE VERY END.)

Now I’m in trouble as I must get home, I’m in a strange neighborhood with no friends, no transportation, except one thing – the subway train.

I go there & the subway is the last type of venue I want to take (not sure why—maybe it’s not safe) but since I have no alternative I ask people about the schedule.

One lady there does help me out. She tells me the last train out is at 5:25 & it’s now 5am, make sure you don’t miss it she says, & she also writes down for me on a small slip of paper in large letters, numbers. They are something like 19/?/? But this is extremely vague, I might have the numbers wrong, but they give directions.

I bump into the actor again & I commend the lady, saying how important she was to me, she gave me directions to get home.

(GETTING HOME IN THIS CONTEXT IS GETTING TO ONE’S GOAL, WHERE THEIR HEART IS ‘HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS.’ THE LADY IS MOTHER GOD WITHIN ME PROBABLY.

HOW DO I GET TO WHERE I WANT TO GO, WHICH WAS HINTED AT IN THE BEGINNING, LOOKING FOR MY ACTOR FRIEND. HOW DO I FIND HIM & GET WITH HIM? HOW DO I BEGIN OUR SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP?

I DON’T WANT TO TAKE THE LOWER ROUTE – SYMBOLIZED BY THE SUBWAY. THIS ROUTE DOES NOT SEEM TO BE IDEAL, BUT I SAY IN THE DREAM I HAVE NO ALTERNATIVE.

A LADY, WHO IS NO DOUBT MOTHER GOD, HELPS ME & GIVES DIRECTIONS. SAYS NOT TO MISS THE TRAIN—THERE’S ONE LEFT TONIGHT. NOT SURE WHAT THAT MEANS, SOUNDS OMINOUS LIKE ONE LAST CHANCE. THAT COULD BE NO MORE THAN A FEAR EXPRESSED.)

Now once again I’m standing with the actor with his friends near him—it’s where I noticed his clothes, his coat. We seem to be back at the spot where he exited the building, there again, talking. He seems interested in his friends & I ask him where he’s going & with whom, & he says, smiling,

“I’M GOING WITH YOU.”

(WE HAD A CLICHÉ WHEN WE WERE GOING STEADY. I’D ASK HIM WHAT HE WAS DOING TONIGHT & HE’D SAY, LIKE THE 2^ND DATE ‘BEING WITH YOU.’ THEN HE’D ASK ME & I’D SAY THE SAME THING. IT WAS A STANDARD REPLY.)

He has now turned handsome – like the original friend I thought he was. I am a bit flustered by his remark & say,

“I’M FLATTERED.”

(THERE’S A FEELING HERE THAT I THOUGHT HE’D CHOOSE ANOTHER FRIEND TO GO WITH, THE FRIENDS ARE DESIRABLE, BUT WHEN HE SAYS HE’S GOING WITH ME I’M STARTLED.

AND THAT IS THE ANSWER TO THE PRAYER OF WHAT WILL HAPPEN WITH US, WHAT GOD HAS BEEN SAYING FOR YEARS SINCE THE DAY WE MET – THAT HE IS MY HUSBAND.)

MEANING:

‘HE BECOMES HANDSOME AGAIN’ AT THE END IS HE CHANGES HIS BEHAVIOR FROM BAD TO GOOD. ‘HANDSOME IS AS HANDSOME DOES.’

IN THIS WORLD, WHERE ‘ALL’S A STAGE’ HE PLAYED A PART OR PARTS HE THOUGHT HE’D WIN AT. WHEN ALL IS FINISHED, HE KNOWS IT WON’T WORK, HE COMES BACK TO YOU.

THE PART ABOUT THE SUBWAY IS AN ANALOGY BETWEEN THE ‘HIGH ROAD’ & THE ‘LOW ROAD.’ THE HIGH ROAD IS HE LOVES YOU, CAN’T RESIST BEING WITH YOU, LISTENS TO YOU & FINDS SUCCESS.

THAT DID NOT HAPPEN. THAT IS TO SAY HE LOVES YOU BUT HE DID NOT LISTEN TO YOU, HE WENT HIS OWN WAY THINKING HE KNEW BETTER.

THE ‘LOW ROAD’ IS HE TURNED AWAY FROM YOU, TRIED ANOTHER LIFESTYLE & PURSUED A CAREER DIFFERENT THAN WHAT YOU PLANNED. BUT IT DID/DOES NOT WORK & SO IN THE END HE COMES BACK. THE LOW ROAD IS FAILURE—HE HAS TO RETURN, TAIL BETWEEN HIS LEGS, LIKE THE PRODIGAL SON – YOU DIDN’T WANT IT THAT WAY BUT THERE WAS NO ALTERNATIVE. HE HAD TO KNOW HE COULDN’T MAKE IT HIMSELF.

WHAT MOTHER GOD IS SAYING IS THAT THIS END WILL COME SOON – HE HAS EXITED THE MAUSOLEUM. WHEN HE LEAVES HIS FAILED LIFESTYLE, IT’S THE BEGINNING OF YOU—THE TRAIN WHICH TAKES YOU HOME TO YOUR HEART OR DESIRED SITUATION, IS UPON US.

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Shrine to Shakti, Shrine to Shiva, Uncategorized

HINDU ADVAITA VS CHRISTIANITY

Dream Talks About Hindu Nonduality (Advaita) vs ChristianNonduality

1-26-20-BIG CONFLICT IN SCHOOL-TWO SCHOOLS OF THOUGHT

There was this school I was part of – a huge one. But there’s been a RIFT – a conflict. I see one large part of the school on the side I’m on, another side is lining up in front of us, in rows of two, across us next to a tall maybe grey brick building.

(THESE ARE ‘TWO SCHOOLS OF THOUGHT’ I WAS PONDERING YESTERDAY – THE SCHOOL OF YOGA NONDUALITY & THE SCHOOL OF CHRISTIANITY.)

Someone must represent our side, but everyone is AFRAID because there will be fighting. But a lady I know who is more of a part of the school than I am {I’m just a fringe member} – a teacher perhaps, comes forward & stands there, as NO ONE ELSE IS COMING FORWARD FOR FEAR.

(I WAS WONDERING WHY NO ONE HAS CHALLENGED OR EXPLAINED THE WAY WESTERNERS ARE TRANSLATING THE TEACHERS OF NONDUALITY. I FEEL THEIR TRANSLATIONS ARE FLAWED & THIS IS CONFUSING PEOPLE & LEADING THEM ASTRAY & LOSING THEM. WHY HAS NO ONE COME FORWARD & GIVEN BETTER EXPLANATIONS OF HOW THESE YOGIC STATES, VIRTUES, CONSCIOUSNESS, CAN BE COMPARED TO CHRISTIAN ONES? THEY ARE REALLY THE SAME, EXPLAINED IN DIFFERENT WORDS—BUT NO ONE EXPLAINING.)

This lady reminds me of Rev. Verbal Talent who was my first living guru.

(WHO IS THIS WOMAN MOMGOD, THE MAIN ONE, WHILE I AM BUT A FRINGE MEMBER, BUT I STAND WITH HER SO SHE WILL NOT BE ALONE?

THIS MIGHT BE THE MALE INTERVIEWER I SAW—BRICK–WHO CHALLENGED SOME OF THIS STUFF BEING SAID, AND HE WAS RIGHT. BUT THE INTERVIEW-E ARGUED ON & ON SO HE BACKED OFF & DROPPED IT.

I WAS THINKING OF JOINING THIS PERSON ON HIS FORUM & LETTING HIM KNOW I AGREED WITH HIM.)

And so, because I don’t want her to STAND ALL ALONE I step forward as well, there are just two of us who are willing to represent our side – there are plenty of students behind us but they will not stand as warriors – across us they are hundreds, although no sparks have yet flown. The teacher I join is wearing a sort of shiny grey suit that hangs off her like liquid, a liquid skirt & jacket, luminous, flowing but not puffy, just straight down.

(THIS SAYS THAT VERY FEW PEOPLE COULD MEET THE CHALLENGE THIS ‘SCHOOL OF THOUGHT’ REPRESENTS. BRICK SEEMS TO BE THE ONLY ONE – HE’S DEEP IN THE CULTURE OF THESE PEOPLE, I’M BUT A FRINGE MEMBER, BUT I’D HELP HIM IF NEEDED.

THE SUIT HE’S WEARING IS VERBAL ARMOR – HE IS EXTREMELY WELL PREPARED TO ARGUE, HE KNOWS HIS SUBJECT. THE SUIT REMINDS ONE OF SHINY GREY ARMOR BUT THIS IS WORDS SO IT’S LIKE ‘LUMINOUS LIQUID ARMOR.’)

Now she & I go to a sort of PARK, a large green campus with trees & we are milling about. We both take dry sticks. My stick has prongs, so I’m snapping them off. Nothing has happened. The school building is to the left.

Now to the right here comes a mob, like 200 women, facing us. My partner is so frightened she JUST RUNS OFF at her fastest speed (she was good in track) – to the right front, the crowd is more to the left, they are shoulder-to-shoulder females.

(POSSIBLY THIS SCHOOL OF THOUGHT IS SEEN AS FEMALES BECAUSE THEY ARE HINDUS – MOST OF THEM ARE WEARING FEMININE GARB. SOME WEAR ONLY BIKINI BOTTOMS, INCLUDING A CHIEF, RAMANA MAHARSHI, WE’RE DISCUSSING A LOT – SOME OF THEM WEAR SKIRTS DOWN TO THEIR ANKLES, SOME WEAR SARIS SIMILAR TO WOMEN’S (AS GHANDI WORE).

ACCORDING TO THIS THERE ARE HORDES OF YOGIS / HINDUS READY TO FACE US & ATTACK & BRICK REALLY DOES NOT WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS – HE WOULD ABANDON ME & DESERT ME BEFORE THE SHYT HIT THE FAN. THIS SAYS HE’S GOOD AT BACKING OFF OR AVOIDING AN ARGUMENT.

WHAT IS MY STICK? JUST A STAFF LIKE MOSES HAD, IT ISN’T FOR HARM, IT’S A STICK OF HEALING, THE WAY MOSES PUT HIS STAFF ON HIGH, WITH SNAKES RUNNING THROUGH IT, & THOSE WHO LOOKED UPON IT WERE HEALED. I DON’T MEAN HARM, I’M TRYING TO HEAL MISUNDERSTANDING.)

This crowd sees me taking these dry stub branches off my stick (they are sharp, I am disarming my walking staff) – I wonder if they think I’m making a weapon, it’s just a light stick, nothing you could hurt someone with.

As I leave various people are staring at me as if they will mob me & hurt me, but I am able to rise into the air, even 20-40’ & move along, they can’t even reach me, so I escape their premises.

(AT FIRST, I’M ABLE TO RISE SPIRITUALLY BUT I GET TIRED OR EXHAUSTED & GET VULNERABLE. THIS COULD HAVE BEEN MY STATE YESTERDAY, AS I WAS FIGHTING DEMONS & RECITED ABOUT 50 EXORCISMS.

OR IT COULD BE A WARNING THAT AT FIRST, I’LL DO WELL, BUT EXHAUSTION WILL WEAR ME OUT & I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO DO MY BEST.)

On the road escaping, another bunch of women is going to attack me. Next to us is a sunken field with many dryish sumacs, with twisted bodies like Japanese Maples, & I try to fly over that, but the women follow me by walking – I can’t rise up in the air enough, my flying abilities have lately failed me. What saves me is we see a stack of these dry sumac branches piled high in the middle of this tiny field (it’s only about 30’ in diameter), & we all agree, this is a funeral pyre ready to be lit. They seem so curious / surprised that they stop thinking about me & I escape.

(WHAT IS THIS FUTURE FUNERAL PYRE IN THE FIELD THAT SAVES ME?

IT COULD BE WHEN THE ATTACKERS FIND OUT MY AGE THEY DON’T WANT TO HURT ME, AS THEY HAVE RESPECT FOR THEIR ELDERS. AFTER ALL, I’M GOING TO DIE SOON (HAHA) SO SHOW SOME RESPECT.

I HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING – HAVE NOT ARGUED WITH ANYONE. THIS SIMPLY ANTICIPATES WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I DID, MY GOD SELF WANTS ME TO AVOID THE ACTIVITY. I HEARD MY INNER VOICE SAY ‘LEAVE THEM ALONE.’)

I then decide to leave. There isn’t any fighting, but as I’m almost to the road that will take me back, I hear two females behind me & they have small clubs, a big woman & a smaller one, & they are saying something like,

“Let’s let her have it, get it over with.”

I turn, look at them – we are in a small rural alley with a gate (the alley about 10’), (there’s a pretty light green painted wooden window shutter near) I know they mean me, so I quickly get out of that spot, go to the main road & somehow get away.

(IT SEEMS LIKE PEOPLE WOULD COME FROM ALL DIRECTIONS & PLACES TO ‘GET YOU’ {SO DON’T GET STARTED.} THEY WOULD NOT APPRECIATE THE FACT THAT YOU’RE TRYING TO HELP, THEY’D SEE YOU AS AN ENEMY, AN INTERLOPER. THEY WOULD REACT IRRATIONALLY. THIS DREAM IS A WARNING.

ME TO MOMGOD: WHY WOULD MY EFFORTS TO HELP BE SEEN IRRATIONALLY, WITH ANGER, AS IF I’M AN ENEMY?

BECAUSE IT’S THEIR VANITY. THESE YOGIS WANT PEOPLE TO BELIEVE THEY HAVE AN EXCLUSIVE, MYSTERIOUS DISCIPLINE CALLED ‘NONDUALITY,’ WHICH NO ONE UNDERSTANDS OR PRACTICES EXCEPT THE ELITE OF ALL YOGIS.

FOR YOU TO SAY ‘LOOK, WE CHRISTIANS HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING THIS DISCIPLINE SINCE DAY ONE, WE JUST CALL IT DIFFERENT TERMS, TO THEM WOULD ATTACK THEIR EGOS, THEY WOULD SEE IT AS AN ATTEMPT TO TAKE AWAY WHAT THEY HAVE.

THEY HAVE MADE A GOOD BUSINESS, PROFIT & STATUS FROM REPRESENTING THE WAY OF THE ‘MYSTERIOUS EAST.’ – IT MAKES THEM IMPORTANT TO US. THEY HAVE GURUS & ASHRAMS WITH ALL THAT GOES WITH IT. THEY GAIN GREAT STATURE, FAME, & RESOURCES, FROM WESTERNERS WHO WANT TO GAIN SOMETHING WE DON’T HAVE. (This is NOT to say the Enlightened souls are doing this, it’s the ordinary ones, those who are NOT enlightened, who are full of ego & vanity, that would be upset.)

FOR YOU TO CLAIM THERE IS NO MYSTERY & PROVE IT WILL MAKE YOU A GREAT ENEMY & THEY WOULD WANT TO BEAT THE LIVING SHYT OUT OF YOU JUST LIKE THE DREAM.)

After escaping various situations where these women would beat me up, I am back at our original school, it seems to the right side of it– our friendly area, & I’m climbing up some tall wide school stairs recently painted. The color is a dark shiny green, the paint so fresh, {it even has a pleasant smell,} on the stairs & walls that it’s slightly sticky.

(WHAT IS THE RECENTLY PAINTED STAIRCASE DEEP SHINY GREEN, SO FRESH IT EVEN SMELLS NICE?

IT’S THE RECENT SYNOPSIS OF A FEW THINGS YOU STATED WITHIN THIS DREAM WHICH COMPARE NONDUALITY TO CHRISTIAN TERMS. A STAIRCASE IS LIKE A ROAD, A WAY, HERE YOU HAVE IMPROVED A ROAD, A WAY TO UNDERSTANDING HOW CHRISTIANS PRACTICE NONDUALITY, & IT GOES UP—TOWARD GOD—NOT DOWN, WHICH WOULD BE HELL.

BUT YOU’RE NOT SURROUNDED BY FRIGHTENED ENEMIES, YOU’RE HERE ON OUR OWN TURF, OUR SCHOOL, SO YOU’RE AT PEACE, HAPPY, REJOICING, NOT IN CONFLICT.)

I get all the way up to a floor, very wide room, like five big rooms together – our compatriots milling about–& I tell someone that Rev. Verbal ditched me, took off running. My lady associate says,

“She was made to run.”

But I was a success, & I hear a song I love & I do the greatest callisthenic dance I often do in dreams, where I tumble in the air completely around so my head aims at the floor, & a few other paranormal moves, & everyone knows I’ve succeeded & done a good job, & I’m happy—the way you feel when you’ve succeeded an ordeal.

(NOTICE I ESCAPE BEATINGS FROM THE WOMEN / HINDUS / YOGIS BUT I RETURN TO OUR OWN FRIENDLY SPACE, SCHOOL, COMPATRIOTS. MY CONCLUSION TO THIS DILEMMA WAS TO SIMPLY DO THE HOMEWORK IN HOW TO TRANSLATE, TRANSPOSE THESE ‘NONDUALITY’ PRINCIPLES INTO CHRISTIAN TERMS – PRESENT THEM ON MY OWN TURF WITHOUT GETTING MIXED UP WITH THE ‘NONDUALISTS’ & THIS WAY I WOULD SUCCEED. I AM DOING A VICTORY DANCE.)

But it’s not over. Now somehow, we have to go on a journey. We must GET HOME. I make SEVERAL TRIES. I recall this one.

My sister seems to be our guide. She thinks she knows the way, but when we get to a bridge, I tell her, no I don’t think this is right, there was no bridge last time I made it home. {The bridge is over a small, shallow river, it’s not long or high up, just like a road with iron bars on the side—one side houses a dam of sorts. It just stops, & there’s a barrier that makes the water pile up. But much of the water is apparently allowed to go under as it’s flowing.} But she insists we keep walking. There are others with us, like kids, we are the guides.

(MY SISTER REPRESENTS THE PRAGMATIC—ALWAYS. IT’S PART OF ME. THIS IS TELLING ME NOT TO LISTEN TO MY HUMAN, LOGICAL GUIDANCE BUT TO GO BY SPIRITUAL INSTINCT. I’VE DONE THIS BEFORE – THERE WAS NO BRIDGE. IT’S THE WRONG ROAD, WRONG WAY TO GO, MOMENTARILY WE SEE THAT.

BUT WHERE AM I GOING, WHERE AM TRYING TO GET? WHAT IS ‘HOME’ IN THIS DREAM?

IT WOULD BE THE GOAL OF UNDERSTANDING NONDUALITY IN A WAY THAT MAKES SENSE, THAT IS EFFECTIVE.

‘THERE IS NO BRIDGE’ ON THE WAY THERE IS THIS IS NONDUALITY – NOT TWO THINGS, BUT ONE. A BRIDGE CONNECTS TWO THINGS, TWO SIDES. SO I AM SAYING ‘WE ARE NONDUALISTS JUST AS THEY ARE.’

THE WAY THESE NONDUAL TEACHERS ARE EXPLAINING GOES INTO THE ‘TWILIGHT ZONE.’ I HAD SOME HEARTY LAUGHS AS I LISTENED TO ONE INTERVIEW. THE TEACHER SPOKE ABOUT:

‘DESTROYING THE MIND’ – ‘THE REALITY WE ARE SEEING IS NOT REAL, JUST AN ILLUSION THAT’S ONLY SEEN BY US, NO ONE ELSE – WE HAVE PROJECTED IT……THERE IS NO BIRTH OR DEATH, THERE IS NO TIME, THE THEORY OF RELATIVITY IS NOT TRUE AS THERE ARE NO TWO THINGS, ONLY ONE THING…..WHEN YOU PULL BACK THE MIND FROM ITS OBJECT YOU DESTROY IT, THEN YOU SEE THE SELF WHICH IS GOD, THAT IS THE GOAL, TO GET RID OF THE MIND. THIS IS SO CONFUSING, SO MISLEADING, MYSTIFYING, & THEY FEEL THEY ARE SUPERIOR TO US, THAT THEY HAVE ESOTERIC KNOWLEDGE, BECAUSE NO ONE CAN MAKE HEADS OR TAILS OF THIS.’ End their part

BUT MY POV IS: IN TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THIS LINGO YOU COULD LOSE YOUR MIND OR GO CRAZY, WE DON’T WANT TO DO THAT. WHEN THEY USE THE WORD ‘MIND’ IT IS TRANSLATED MIND BUT IT PROBABLY MEANS ‘ATTENTION’ – ‘FOCUS’. OR IT SPEAKS OF THE CONSCIOUS MIND VS THE UNCONSCIOUS–BUT THE UNCONSCIOUS IS NEVER MENTIONED. THEY ARE TRYING TO GET YOU TO FOCUS ON THE INTERIOR & ON THE GOD WITHIN, & WE NEED BETTER TRANSLATION FROM THEIR TERMS TO OURS. BUT NONE OF THEM {the Western teachers} IS DOING THAT.)

We hang a right before the bridge, the river is in front, & as we walk the path turns into weeds as tall as our faces – we’re engulfed – the road has ended & I tell her ‘I told you so.’

(WHAT ARE THE WEEDS, THE PATH ENDING, THE WEEDS ENGULFING US?

THIS MIGHT REFER TO THE TERMS THEY ARE USING. YOU WON’T GET ANYWHERE BY THE WAY THEY EXPLAIN IT, WE GET ‘CHOCKED’ BY WEEDS OR ‘CAN’T GET THROUGH’ THE WEEDS – THE TERMS ARE THE WEEDS, A LOT OF BAD STUFF WE HAVE TO FIGHT THROUGH, WE CAN’T GET TO OUR GOAL.)

I look at the bridge. On the far side of it there’s a dam where the water has accumulated & it’s fairly deep. There are two large horses that were in the river that are swimming & stopped right there at the end of the dam. I think about them & am concerned. I hope they’re OK, I think they are. But what do they mean?

(HORSES MEAN WORK. THIS MIGHT BE SAYING ‘THE WORK ON THIS IS NOT GOING ON, IT IS STOPPED, IT IS TRUNCATED. IN OTHER WORDS, AS I SAID, THESE WESTERN TEACHERS, 99% OF WHOM ARE MEN, ARE NOT ABLE TO TRANSLATE HINDU NONDUALITY INTO OUR CHRISTIAN TERMS.

CHRISTIAN MYSTICS HAVE BEEN EXPERIENCING NONDUALITY, BUT THEY CALL IT ‘NO LONGER I LIVE, BUT CHRIST IN ME.’ CHRIST IS GOD, THEREFORE IF I AM DEAD BUT CHRIST LIVES IN ME MY LOWER SELF IS DEAD (EGO, DESIRES OF THE FLESH) BUT GOD IN ME IS ALIVE. THAT MEANS I AM GOD. THAT IS NONDUALITY, I AM GOD. IT’S NOT ME LOOKING AT GOD OUTSIDE, I HAVE ASCENDED, I HAVE DIED TO THE LOWER SELF, I AM LIVING, RADIATING GOD.

THEY ALSO SAY, ‘I HAVE DIED WITH CHRIST & RISEN WITH CHRIST.’

WE CALL THE DYING OF THE EGO, DYING TO THE WORLD, FLESH & DEVIL, ‘DEATH TO SELF,’ THEY CALL ‘SELF’ IS GOD, SO AGAIN, TERMS. THEY MEAN ‘GOD SELF’ BUT DON’T USUALLY SAY IT. WHEN WE SAY ‘SELF’ WE MEAN EGO – THE THING THAT HAS TO DIE. THEY MEAN GOD.

WE (THE ORIGINAL CHRISTIANS), MISUNDERSTOOD JESUS’ TEACHING & MADE HIM THE ONE & ONLY GURU WHEN THERE’S BEEN MANY. BUT AFTER WE WORSHIP HIM ‘IN FORM’—IN THE WAY OF BHAKTI OR LOVE, DEVOTION,–(THE NONDUALISTS SAY – THAT ‘FORM’ IS NOT THE FINAL STEP OF SPIRITUALITY) – WE DON’T STAY THAT WAY, WE HAVE BECOME HIM, THERE ARE NO LONGER TWO, HIM & ME, THERE’S ONLY ONE, I AM HE.

ANOTHER PHASE OF THIS IS CHRISTIANS WHO ARE ADVANCED PRACTICE ‘NON ATTACHMENT,’ WHICH MEANS PUT GOD FIRST, EVERYTHING ELSE AFTER, DON’T PUT ANYTHING BEFORE GOD, GOD IS A JEALOUS GOD, IF YOU PUT GOD FIRST EVERYTHING ELSE WILL BE ADDED BY GOD.

TO BE HONEST, IT ALL COMES OUT OF BUDDHISM—WHICH WAS ORIGINALLY 3,000 YEARS AGO, A FORM OF HINDU YOGA. FROM BUDDHA CAME JESUS, A REINCARNATED GURU. THE THREE WISE MEN CAME FROM INDIA TO HONOR THEIR REBORN GURU, CAME TO GET HIM WHEN HE WAS TWELVE, TOOK HIM TO INDIA OR TIBET, TAUGHT HIM UNTIL AGE TWENTY NINE & RETURNED HIM TO HIS PEOPLE. ALL HIS TEACHINGS WERE BUDDHIST.

HE HAD GREAT POWERS BECAUSE HE HAD ACQUIRED THEM IN PREVIOUS LIFETIMES; IT WAS WHAT YOGIS CALL ‘KARMIC RESIDUE.’ BESIDES THAT HE WAS PREPARED FOR SEVENTEEN YEARS HOW TO TEACH, PREACH & HEAL. HE WAS BORN ANOINTED & WAS TRAINED; THAT CREATED GREATNESS.

HIS TEACHINGS ARE BUDDHIST – THE SERMON ON THE MOUNT–BUDDHISM. ALL HIS BASIC TENETS, CORE TEACHINGS, LOVE THY NEIGHBOR AS THYSELF, DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE OTHERS DO UNTO YOU, WHAT YOU DO TO THE LEAST OF THESE YOU DO TO ME (GOD) IS ALL BUDDHISM. AND SO, OUR CHRISTIANITY IS NOT FAR FROM HINDU-YOGA, WE JUST HAVE TO FIX THE IDIOMS.

THERE IS NO MYSTERY TO NONDUALITY, IT’S NOT ESOTERIC, IT’S NOT HARD TO REACH OR ACQUIRE, IT’S NOT MYSTERIOUS & TO MAKE IT SO IS WRONG. NONDUALITY IS A HIGH LEVEL OF SPIRITUALITY IN ANY RELIGION. I HAVE READ THE LIVES OF THE MYSTICAL SAINTS & THEY ALL HAD IT – READ ‘MYSTICISM’ BY EVELYN UNDERHILL, THE BEST BOOK ON THE SUBJECT I HAVE EVER READ, & IT NEVER EVEN MENTIONS HINDU NONDUALITY.

THAT’S WHAT THIS DREAM IS ABOUT. IT SAYS ‘JUST DO IT, NOBODY ELSE IS, & NO ONE WILL HELP YOU.’

………………………………………………………

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Shrine to Shakti, Shrine to Shiva, Uncategorized

SCAPEGOAT & ROLES REVERSED

1-24-20-THE SCAPEGOAT & ROLES REVERSED

Dream interpreted for a friend. Symbols explained in detail.

I seem to be looking at an unfortunate boy with his mother. He has dark curly hair, tall, young – looks wise reminds me of Alan from yesterday.

(ALAN IS A SYMBOL OF LEILA’S BOYFRIEND. I WAS AT A PLACE OF BUSINESS WHERE THEY BOTH WORK, TALKING TO THEM. THERE WAS A QUESTION LEILA & I DISCUSSED, AS WILL BE SEEN BELOW. A CLUE HE IS THE SUBJECT MATTER IS ‘UNFORTUNATE.’

*OFTEN WHEN YOU SEE A PERSON IN A DREAM IT MIGHT NOT BE ABOUT THE PERSON AT ALL. DON’T TAKE THINGS LITERALLY–USUALLY THEY ARE SYMBOLS, AS HERE, IT IS NOT ABOUT ALAN AT ALL. ASSUME THAT MOST CHARACTERS YOU SEE IN DREAMS ARE SYMBOLS OF (1) ANOTHER PERSON (2) A PERSONALITY OR ATTITUDE OF A PERSON – YOURSELF OR ANOTHER.

HERE HE ONLY LOOKS THIS WAY TO TELL YOU: IT’S ABOUT WHAT YOU DISCUSSED AT THIS PLACE. BUT WHY DOESN’T HE LOOK LIKE HIMSELF? BECAUSE YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS GUY—THE BF–CLOSE UP, NOT SURE HOW HE LOOKS.)

His Mom is to the left, in a kind of large cubicle, in bed. She’s handing something to ‘Alan’ & it’s not a big transaction, but within this framework I’m seeing their entire relationship.

(THIS WOMAN BEING IN BED COULD MEAN SHE IS AT LEISURE – RELAXING, RESTING – BUT GIVING HIM SOMETHING TO DO SO IT COULD BE SHE’S PILING ON WORK FOR HIM BUT NOT ON HERSELF.

IT COULD ALSO MEAN SHE MAKES HIM CARRY HER CROSS, GOES EASY ON HERSELF BUT HARD ON HIM. MAKES HIM SUFFER MORE SO SHE WOULD SUFFER LESS.)

It seems she’s picking on him, & I ask him is she?

And he has two sisters, & they seem to be ‘picking on him’ also & it’s serious, not mild. I see it’s a pattern, the mother & the two sisters are doing to him.

({what Tim’s (an old friend) Dad did to him when he was a child. His Dad constantly put him down, criticized & belittled him, so badly that at the age of 12 he started to drink, taking the parent’s liquor – later he became a drug addict & remained one his entire life. He explained its mentality to me.}

THIS IS SHOWING A POWERFUL ANALOGY BETWEEN THIS BF & THE STORY OF HOW TIM BECAME A DRUG ADDICT. IT IS THE TRAUMA THAT WAS REFERENCED—THIS IS IT, THE WAY HE WAS TREATED BY A PARENT, PROBABLY THE MOTHER, & SIBLINGS, COULD BE SISTERS.)

I say to Alan,

“I see it now. I understand. You are their SCAPEGOAT. Do you know what that means? They blame everything on you. I know, as I was the scapegoat in my family. It goes like this, & I physically demonstrate:

There is a cardboard box standing on something to my left. I act like a person who has great nervous tension, I show my hands shaking. To relieve the pressure of this anxiety, I take my fist & punch that cardboard box to my left.

(IT’S A KNOWN PHENOMENON THAT FAMILIES SOMETIMES CHOOSE ONE CHILD ‘TO BE SACRIFICED’ SO THAT THE REST OF THE FAMILY ‘COULD HAVE A BETTER LIFE.’

OF COURSE THIS IS SINFUL & DOES HARM TO THE CHILD. THE TROUBLES, ANXIETIES OF THE FAMILY ARE SOMEHOW ‘DUMPED’ ON THE CHILD, THEY ARE BLAMED FOR EVERYTHING. THEY ARE MISTREATED; MENTALLY, EMOTIONALLY OR PHYSICALLY ABUSED. AND IT ISN’T JUST ONE PERSON OR ONE PARENT THAT DOES IT – IT BECOMES A CONSENSUS. SOMETIMES NOT EVERYONE PARTICIPATES, BUT USUALLY THIS CHILD IS NOT PROTECTED BY ANY FAMILY MEMBER.

THEY COULD BE MADE TO DO MORE WORK THAN THE OTHERS & GIVE LESS PRIVILEGES. THEY WOULD BE PUNISHED MORE – EVERY DAY WOULD BE PUNISHMENT BECAUSE THEY ARE DEPRIVED OF LOVE. THIS IS THE ‘FAMILY SCAPEGOAT’ STORY.)

To my dismay, however, I see the front of the box, & sitting inside is an infant – it wasn’t hurt but I’m upset & say,

“I’m so sorry – wow – I didn’t know a baby was sitting in there.”

I was demonstrating to him how his Mom & sisters took their anxiety out on him, punching him mentally.

(THE CHILD IS THE HELPLESS VICTIM, THIS SAYS. THE BOX THE CHILD SITS IN IS SIMILAR IN DESIGN TO THE ‘BED CUBICLE’ THE MOTHER IS RESTING IN. AS ALREADY STATED, IN THIS CASE, THE MOM TRAUMATIZED THE CHILD SO SHE WOULD BE ‘BETTER OFF.’ {BUT OF COURSE SUCH PEOPLE ARE NOT BETTER OFF SPIRITUALLY – THEY ARE GUILTY OF SIN. & AS SOMEONE ONCE SAID TO ME ‘IT’S BETTER TO BE SINNED AGAINST THAN TO BE THE SINNER.’})

This solved a mystery of how he was traumatized. It shows a comparison between my friend, a drug addict who explained his case to me – as being applicable to this new person seen in the dream.

(THIS REFERS TO LEILA’S BOYFRIEND, WHY HE’S AN ADDICT. YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT IT & SHE SAID SHE DIDN’T KNOW WHY.) Finis.

………………………………………………………….

ANOTHER DREAM: ROLES REVERSED

EARLY there was a dream like this: I see a paper-embossed design, large, almost white (it’s a thick soft cardboard) – which you would put on the wall for decoration. There are no colors. It’s sort of ‘antique’ or ‘old fashioned’ – the designs are mostly all flowers like daisies or asters, but puffed out. It’s about 4’x4.5’

Then appears a smaller version of this to its right, about 3.5’x4’ & its color is CREAM. What surprises me it is the EXACT SAME DESIGN. Not sure why I thought this design could not be DUPLICATED – because it was original & unusual, but here it is duplicated right before my eyes, & I tell everyone how amazed I am.

These two papers are sort of ‘in the air’ by the end of my large table housing the old computer, in front of the window to the extreme right of this room.

MEANING:

‘UP IN THE AIR’ WOULD BE SOMETHING ‘PENDING’ – LIKE WE THINK IT’S GOING TO BE, BUT IT HASN’T HAPPENED YET. IT’S LIKE A QUESTION.

DAISIES ARE ‘SHE LOVES ME-SHE LOVES ME NOT’. SOMEONE IS THINKING DOES SOMEONE LOVE HIM OR HER.

THE OLD-FASHIONED, ARCHAIC CAN REFER TO TWO THINGS IN THE CONTEXT OF THIS DREAM: (1) A RELATIONSHIP THAT’S BEEN GOING ON FOR A WHILE OR (2) THE IDEA OF MARRIAGE WHICH IS ‘OLD FASHIONED – ARCHAIC’ AN OLD TRADITION. IT SEEMS APROPOS TO THE SECOND.

I SEE IT NOW, THE PUZZLE HAS COME TOGETHER. SOMETIMES, WHEN YOU SEE ONE OR MORE CLUES, THEY ARE WHAT I CALL ‘KEYS.’ THESE KEYS OPEN THE MEANING, IT ALL FALLS TOGETHER IN YOUR MIND.

THESE ARE TWO PEOPLE WHO LOVE ONE ANOTHER. FIRST, SHE CHASED HIM. THAT’S THE BIG WHITE DESIGN WITH THE DAISIES THAT SAY, ‘HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT,’ AS SHE IS IN CONSTANT ANXIETY TO THAT QUESTION. SHE CHASES HIM BECAUSE SHE NEEDS REASSURANCE.

BUT SUDDENLY, IT IS HE WHO IS CHASING HER, NOW HE NEEDS REASSURANCE. HE IS PICKING THE DAILY PETALS ASKING THAT SAME QUESTION – DOES SHE OR DOES SHE NOT LOVE ME?

THE WHITE & CREAM BOTH REFER TO MARRIAGE, UNION, OR SERIOUS LOVE—THE TYPE OF FEELING THAT MAKES TWO PEOPLE STAY TOGETHER.

WHY IS THE ORIGINAL PAPER BIGGER?– BECAUSE IT WENT ON FOR A LONGER TIME. THE SMALLER PAPER, EXACT SAME DESIGN OR SITUATION, HAS BEGUN MORE RECENTLY, HAS NOT LASTED AS LONG OF A TIME OR TAKING UP AS MUCH ‘SPACE.’

THE DREAMER IS STARTLED TO SEE THE MAN IN THE EXACT SAME POSITION SHE WAS IN BEFORE.

THE POSITION OF THINGS CAN BE MEANINGFUL – WHERE YOU ARE – WHERE THE SYMBOLS ARE – WHERE OTHERS ARE. SCRUTINIZE EACH SYMBOL WITH A FINE-TOOTH COMB.

WHY BY THE LARGE TABLE OF THE OLD COMPUTER & IN FRONT OF THE WINDOW, DO THESE TWO ITEMS APPEAR?

YES IT’S BY THE WINDOW, BUT YOUR NEW COMPUTER IS THERE, IT’S RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE BIG-SCREENED NEW COMPUTER. THIS UNDERSCORES:

“IT WAS THE OLD WAY BEFORE (OLD COMPUTER) WHERE THE LADY CHASED HIM. NOW IT’S A NEW SITUATION, THE NEW COMPUTER – HE IS CHASING YOU; OLD SITUATION, NEW SITUATION.WE SEE THEM RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER, IN FACT, PART OF THE NEW PAPER IS COVERING OR OVER THE TOP OF THE OLD – THE NEW IS SUPPLANTING THE OLD, COVERING IT, TAKING THE PLACE OF IT. finis

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Shrine to Shakti, Shrine to Shiva, Uncategorized

NONDUALITY FIXES A RELATIONSHIP

NONDUALITY IMPROVES A RELATIONSHIP

Interpretation of Dreams for Friends. Many symbols explained.

These first two dreams seem somehow to ‘go together’ or ‘dreamed at the same time,’ ‘side by side’ – although they seem to have no correlation.

First myself & my husband RAJ are standing in my room with the twin beds—we’re in the middle of the room as if the two beds, which are together, are separated.

(SEPARATED BEDS AS YOU’RE NOT HAVING SEX)

He’s standing here in a full-length blue robe & going to leave me. I am sort of on the floor by the side of his legs, holding his robe & saying,

(FULL LENGTH BLUE ROBE TOTALLY DEPRESSED {not partially as that could be a short robe})

“I’m sorry – I’m sorry.

Don’t leave me, I have nothing without you.”

(THIS HEARKENS BACK TO YOUR PTSD WHEN YOU WERE SEPARATED FROM DAD. IT BROKE YOUR HEART – HE WAS EVERYTHING TO YOU BUT YOU LOST HIM. EVERY AFFAIR YOU HAVE THAT’S NOT WORKING TRIGGERS THIS PTSD. THAT’S WHY IT’S SO INTENSE. YOU WERE ‘BROUGHT TO YOUR KNEES’ MEANS YOU WERE HELPLESS.)

He’s very sad, his hair is half grey, lots of white, he’s determined to leave.

(HAIR TURNING GREY, ESPECIALLY WHITE IS ANXIETY. HIS ANXIETY IS GREAT RE YOU—

BUT THE LEAVING SYMBOL IS NOT REALLY HIS DESIRE TO LEAVE YOU—IT’S YOUR ATTACHMENT DECREASING, he’s leaving you as a mental obsession–THE HUMAN ATTACHMENT THAT IS NOT GOOD, IF IT REMAINS YOU’RE NOT ‘FREE.’

WHAT WE CALL ‘FREEDOM’ IN SPIRITUALITY IS HEAVEN ON EARTH. AS LONG AS ONE HAS ATTACHMENT THEY CANNOT BE HAPPY—BUDDHISM TEACHES THIS, SO DO SOME CHRISTIANS, SO DOES NONDUALITY. ATTACHMENT MEANS ANXIETY, IT MAKES ONE WORRY. YOU CAN’T BE HAPPY & WORRIED/ANXIOUS AT THE SAME TIME.)

Right now also my niece Zarzilla has arrived with her little son. She’s brought me several items of clothing which she’s joyful about, & she lays them out on the bedroom bureau for me to see.

One item is a little grey-violet vest, knitted with large openings between stitches, (the vest is open, there are no fasteners) with PEARLS sewn in here & there, the other two or three items also have pearls, & every garment is neat as a pin, & so small, he must weigh no more than thirty pounds. She’s smiling. I’m rather startled as I’ve not seen her for ages nor heard from her, & here she’s popped up out of the blue.

(AS I SUSPECTED, THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOUR NIECE BUT ABOUT YOU DEVELOPING A NEW PERSONALITY-ATTITUDE REGARDING RAJ. ZARZILLA IS YOUR NEW PHYSICAL SELF & THE BABY IS YOUR HUSBAND RAJ.

RAJ HAS RISEN UP, SO HAVE YOU—WHICH IS GREAT FOR THE RELATIONSHIP. ONE OF THE SIGNS RAJ HAS CHANGED IS HOW LITTLE HE IS – BEING A SMALL CHILD IS SHRINKING IN HUMILITY, LIKE WE ARE ALL TINY CHILDREN BEFORE THE GREATNESS OF GOD.

THE LITTLE VEST GREY/VIOLET SHOWS A HIGHER LIGHT IS REACHING HIS HEART & MIND–VEST GOES OVER THE HEART & WHEN VESTS ARE OPEN THEY REPRESENT WINGS, THE COLOR GREY IS MIND, VIOLET IS A RAREFIED SPIRITUAL LIGHT. HE HAS RISEN UP. YOU ARE ALSO GETTING WISER REGARDING HIM.

NEXT, PEARLS ARE EXTREMELY TELLING SYMBOLS OF INCREASED UNDERSTANDING – ‘PEARLS OF WISDOM.’ SINCE THEY ARE VARIOUS GARMENTS BOTH UPPER & LOWER BODY, HE HAS IMPROVED ON SEVERAL LEVELS OR IN WAYS. {SO HAVE YOU.}

*GARMENTS: GARMENTS HAVE TO DO WITH WHO WE ARE, HOW WE ACT, WHAT WE ARE DOING. SOULS WHO ARE ASCENDING INTO HEAVEN MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, ARE SEEN IN FEMININE GARB—EVEN MEN—BECAUSE WE ARE ALL PASSIVE TO GOD. GOD IS THE POWER & GIVER OF GRACE, WE ARE THE RECEIVERS.

FEMININE IS THE TRADITIONAL SYMBOL FOR PASSIVE BECAUSE DURING SEX THE MAN PUTS THE PENIS/SPERM INTO HER BODY, HE IS THE AGGRESSOR, SHE IS THE RECEIVER. IT DOES NOT MEAN ALL WOMEN ARE PASSIVE OR ALL MEN AGGRESSIVE.

EVIL SOULS THAT DO NOT CONTAIN THE GRACE OF GOD, WHEN PERCEIVED BY US, ARE ‘SHADOW FIGURES, DARK ENTITIES, BLACKER THAN BLACK,’ THESE HAVE NO GARB OR CLOTHING OF LIGHT. GOOD SOULS CARRY LIGHT OR ARE TRANSPARENT, TRANSLUCENT.

WHEN A PROPHET ‘GIVES THEIR MANTLE’ TO THE NEXT PROPHET IT MEANS THEIR ‘CLOTHING OF LIGHT’ – THE ANOINTING OR POWER OF GOD WHICH THEY ‘CARRY.’*

SOMEONE WEARING BRIGHT RED WOULD BE RECENT SUFFERINGS, RED CAN ALSO MEAN ‘SANGUINE,’ LIKE ZEALOUS OR FULL OF ENERGY, PURPLE IS OLD OR PROLONGED SUFFERINGS, CAN MEAN ALSO ‘BEEN BEATEN’ AS YOU GET PURPLE SKIN, GARBED IN BLACK IS USUALLY DEPRESSION, A FUNERAL OR ENDING, OR A MYSTERY, LIKE ‘GOD IS DARKNESS OR BLACKNESS TO US—WHO UNDERSTANDS GOD?” IN THIS DREAM RAJ WEARS A STRONG BLUE ROBE, THAT’S SADNESS. VIVID GREEN ROBES ARE STRONG LIFE, YELLOW CLOTHING COULD BE FEAR OR HAPPINESS LIKE ‘SUNSHINE.’ THERE ARE MANY INTERPRETATIONS FOR COLORS.

CLOTHING ALSO HAS MEANING IN BEING DRAPED, PLEATED, TRANSLUCENT, TRANSPARENT, WOOL OR COTTON, SATIN, VELVET, VOLUMINOUS OR SPARSE, LEATHER OR LACE, HUGE VARIETY OF CLOTHING, GARB, HATS, SHOES, COLORS, SHAPES, SIZES ALL HAVE MEANING & ALL MUST BE DISCERNED IN THE CONTEXT OF THE DREAM. (To be explained elsewhere)

ZARZILLA/YOU IS SMILING BECAUSE OF THE IMPROVEMENT—YOU’RE NOT ANXIOUS ANY MORE, YOU’VE GOT JOY. IT’S BOTH OF YOU CLOSER TO TRUTH. IN SEVERAL DREAMS IT WAS SHOWN THAT HE HAS CHANGED DRASTICALLY—SO HAVE YOU. BY YOU ‘LETTING GO’, NOT BEING ANXIOUS, HE CAN’T CONTROL YOU ANY MORE BY THE REIGNS OF DESIRE, YOU ARE FREE. HE NOW SEES THE ONUS IS ON HIM TO DO SOMETHING – HE WILL HAVE TO BEND OR BREAK IF HE WANTS YOU & THE SHOE IS ON THE OTHER FOOT, YOU ARE HAPPY & FREE, BUT HIS WHITE HAIR SHOWS HE ISN’T.)

After the initial ‘neat’ scene she comes back again & clutters up my whole house – which doesn’t make me happy.

(CLUTTERING UP MY HOUSE WOULD BE MESSING UP MY MIND—WHERE YOU LIVE IS YOUR MIND, SOUL, SPIRIT, CONSCIOUSNESS. *This persona is a character within you, one you create, by changing your thoughts, each personality within us has its ideas/feelings, like characters in a movie or play. Some of your new thoughts are not ‘sorted out,’ they are messy or DISORGANIZED. You will see momentarily the SOURCE of these new {not accessed for years} thoughts are from the Hindu gurus.

(WHEN YOU FIRST ACCESSED THESE NONDUALITY TEACHERS THEY EXPLAINED WELL, BUT THEN YOU HIT MURKY ONES THAT WERE NOT CLEAR.)

There also seems like another scene where Raj tells me he’s leaving, but I can’t recall details.

(THE ENTIRE SEQUENCES OF ‘RAJ LEAVING’ ARE BECAUSE NONDUALITY TEACHINGS ARE HELPING YOU LET HIM GO—BEING SECURE, NOT CLINGING, NOT HELPLESS, NOT AFRAID. IF HE IS YOURS, HE’S YOURS–WHATEVER GOD DECREES WILL TRANSPIRE. IF GOD DOES NOT WILL IT, IT HAS TO FALL AWAY. IF GOD WILLS IT, LET IT COME TO PASS.

IN NONDUALITY ONE DOES NOT ATTACH TO ANYTHING—PEOPLE, THINGS, DESIRES – NOTHING. THIS SOUNDS IMPOSSIBLE, BUT IT ISN’T. GOD PERMITS ALL THAT IS NEEDED, ALL THAT IS KARMICALLY RIGHT – ALL THAT IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL, & ALL THAT IS BAD FALLS AWAY. YOU MUST TRUST THAT. LIKE JESUS SAID, FIRST, ‘LET THIS CUP PASS’…BUT THEN ADDED, ‘THY WILL, NOT MINE BE DONE.’ NEVER SHOULD YOU DESIRE ANYTHING NOT GOD’S WILL, IT WILL BE BAD FOR YOU.)

Not only has she messed up the whole house, but she has brought some of her relatives & a whole line of male friends who are from India or another Eastern place where they look like that. They are all young-middle aged, decent looking, energetic & healthy businessmen. After a while they want to do some business here, like it’s only a social visit, but they are so eager to move forward–they want to do something to accelerate a venture.

Some of these men are lined up against the wall, while others are here & there –they are wearing bright clothes, like one has on an orange t-shirt with brown pants, all have strong-colored clothes & some of them, certainly the one in orange, have brown skin. They seem active & happy.

(THESE MEN ARE THE HINDU/YOGA SAINTS YOU’VE BEEN STUDYING RECENTLY. THEY ARE HERE IN YOUR MIND, CHANGING YOU INTO ZARZILLA!

WHY ARE THEY WEARING STRONG-COLORED CLOTHES – ESPECIALLY THIS ONE YOU NOTICE IN ORANGE? USUALLY BRIGHT COLORS INDICATE ‘OF THE EARTH’—NOT THE DEAD, BECAUSE FROM WHERE WE ARE WE DON’T SEE THE DEAD AS ‘COLORFUL,’ WE SEE SOMEONE DYING TURNING GREY, OR THE BLOOD LEAVING THEIR BODY. THIS ONE IN ORANGE IS THE BEST TEACHER—ORANGE IS THE COLOR OF AN EASTERN MONK’S ROBES, ALTHOUGH THIS MAN IS EUROPEAN – DAVID GODMAN TEACHING THE GOSPEL OF RAMANA MAHARSHI.)

These men – there’s four or five of them – we really have a house full – there also seem to be a couple male relatives of hers here ask me if they can make some COPIES on my printer. I tell them I don’t have one. They say

“What? You are in business to do xxxx? & don’t have a printer? That would seem a necessity.”

I had bragged to them about being a successful business woman, well off, & the impression they got was I had lots of clients, etc. But then, I have to clarify,

(THIS BRAGGING IS NO DOUBT COMMENTS YOU PLACED ON YOU TUBE VIDEOS WHERE YOU GAVE IMPRESSIONS OF YOURSELF THAT WERE PUFFED-UP, OR RATHER PEOPLE MISUNDERSTOOD & THINK YOU’RE A ‘BIG OPERATOR.’)

“I only have one client, & that is the Catholic Church. I work for them without pay.”

Indeed, I did my work for charity, it was not what they imagined. This might refer to Holy Masses & prayers of the Catholic Church.

(WHAT IS THE PRINTER? THAT SOUNDS LIKE COPY OR REPETITION. IT MIGHT MEAN PROMOTING THEIR TEACHINGS. OF COURSE YOU ARE PROMOTING THEIR TEACHINGS ON THE INTERNET AS YOU LEARN THEM. THESE MEN ARE ZEALOUS FOR THEIR CAUSE; THEY WANT OTHERS, LIKE YOU, TO PARTICIPATE.

YOU DO MAKE A DISCLAIMER THAT YOU ARE WORKING FOR THE CATHOLICCHURCH—INDEED YOU HAVE PROMOTED THIS WAY ALL YOUR LIFE & (NOT SAYING YOU NEGLECTED YOGA, BUT YOU ARE FOCUSED ON JESUS’ WAYS AS TAUGHT BY THE CATHOLIC THEOLOGY.)

There’s also much to do with the little son of Zar. I explain something,

It’s kind of like we’re having a ‘forum’ – like disclosing secrets of WHAT HAS HURT US – bringing things INTO THE OPEN. Zar seems to be wearing a light blue printed top & bottom & is standing against the wall in front of a doorway, & a few of her people are between us scattered about.

(TO SAY SOMEONE IS ‘AGAINST THE WALL’ IS TO SAY THEY CAN’T GET AWAY. HERE THE DREAMER {CALLED ‘ME’ OR ‘I’-IT IS THE GOD SELF OR WHAT MAHARSHI & OTHERS CALL PLAIN ‘SELF.’} HAS THIS PERSONA AS A CAPTIVE AUDIENCE, SHE CANNOT RESIST THE WORDS.

HER OUTFIT IS FEMININE, HINTING SHE IS TAKING IN THE GOD-WORDS.)

I say to her sincerely,

“Do you know WHAT HURT ME THE MOST? When you visited me with the baby you never offered me to hold him & I was afraid to ask. I don’t think I ever TOUCHED him at all!”

She seems to be HOLDING HIM now & says,

“What did you ever give me?”

I answer,

“I GAVE YOU MY DNA!”

Focusing on those words I see the injustice of her attitude & also that the child of hers, whose love she denies me, also has my DNA.

(I SUSPECT HERE THAT WE’RE TALKING ABOUT SPIRITUAL DNA. THE GOD-SELF IS SAYING THAT THE FLESH PREVENTED GOD POWER FROM TOUCHING THE ‘BABY’ WHO IS ACTUALLY RAJ, THE HUSBAND.

HE IS YOUR CHILD FOR MORE THAN ONE REASON. ONE BEING THAT HE IS A CHILD OF GOD & YOU CAME TO CLAIM HIM FOR GOD’S REALM. YOU GOT HIM AWAY FROM MANY DEMONS.

Then we’re on a large bed, & her son appears in the form of about a ten pound cat with long fuzzy hair, & he is sort of pouncing about the bed, I catch him & hold him as I would a cat, loving him, & saying,

“You were afraid of me, now I guess you’re not.”

(THIS LONG-HAIRED BEAUTIFUL GREY CAT HAS GOTTEN TAMER OVER THE YEARS. SHE USED TO BE AFRAID BUT VISITED & ATE OUTSIDE. JUST A FEW DAYS AGO SHE DECIDED TO STAY IN THE KITCHEN, EAT & SLEEP THERE DAY & NIGHT. PRIOR TO THAT IT HAD BEEN STAY TWELVE HOURS AT THE MOST, PERCHING ON TOP OF A RAG BIN THAT HAS A NICE COVER LIKE A NEST—THEN LEAVE & COME BACK. THERE’S NOW A THICK COAT ON A CHAIR NEAR THE HEAT VENT, THIS IS HER FAVORITE SPOT AS IT’S 50 DEGREES IN THE KITCHEN BUT THIS SPOT IS WARMER.

HER PERSONALITY CHANGED, HER FEAR LEFT, AND THAT’S THE SYMBOL.

RAJ THE HUSBAND WAS ALSO AFRAID BECAUSE OF PTSD & PHOBIAS. THIS COULD BE SAYING HIS FEAR HAS DIMINISHED.)

Then he turns into a human infant, naked, & I’m cradling him on my left arm holding him close, enjoying the love & Zar does two things which annoy me that are unfair. First, she tries to take the child away to take him somewhere, & I say,

(NAKED MEANS ‘OPEN – VULNERABLE – EXPOSED’ LIKE BEING ‘NAKED BEFORE THE LORD’ MEANS BEING HONEST WITH HER. THIS SHOWS A BETTER OPENING BETWEEN RAJ & YOU.)

“I’m playing with him now.”

And then, while he’s in my arms she sort of sneaks around from the left (like behind something) saying,

“Do you love Mommy? Kiss Mommy” like getting his attention again & again.

I tell her this sort of activity isn’t right. Look over there at your husband – Dave – (he’s to the left). If you were in his arms & another guy came up & said ‘kiss me, kiss me, do you love me’ see how screwed up that would be?

(THIS REPEATS THE CONFLICT BETWEEN YOUR GOD-SELF & FLESH, THE FLESH–As I think about this it appears that SHE is the one who’s insecure, as much or moreso than the baby, & that’s why she’s so greedy/jealous about him—won’t allow me to hold him. THE FLESH WAS NOT LETTING GO, I SCOLD HER ON THAT.)

After they found I don’t have a printer, the Hindus said it’s OK, they’ll do what they have to do in the morning—go out somewhere, find a printer & do their mailing. (The one guy reassures everyone twice about this.)

Then I’m busy doing things & I don’t see Zar or her baby & entourage anywhere. I am SURPRISED when I go to the MIDDLE ROOM (in my apt this would be the bedroom) & they are PACKING UP ALL MY THINGS TO TAKE AWAY WITH THEM. This is being done without asking me or saying anything. And when I walk in Zar & the guys are all talking to each other, not explaining anything to me at all.

They’re taking everything I own, everything, in this room, neatly packing it up into large boxes.

One type of item is ‘decorator pillows’ like I used to have long ago. They are bright satin, oranges, reds, they have neatly stacked them all into a box, dozens of them.

Then there’s FLAGS, also of bring orange, reds, all on blonde wooden poles – I don’t need them any more either let them have them. I explain,

“I bought them because I was going to do this publicity stunt & was going to line up the flags along the street to attract people – but I didn’t do the stunt & not going to so don’t need the flags. And I add,

“You can have everything here because I was going to get all new things anyway.”

It was an unusual feeling. It was like I wasn’t going to ENRICH Zar or her people in any way, but they wanted something, so they’re going to take whatever they can. To me, these things no longer have value so it doesn’t upset me at all. Just seems strange they didn’t even ask.

(THIS FINAL ACT IS SAYING ‘YOU ARE A NEW PERSON’ – ALL THE OLD IS BEING TAKEN AWAY. {The new personality in Nonduality is taking away all your old concepts between you & Raj.}

THE ‘HOOPLA’ (FLAGS) YOU WERE GOING TO DO WITH RAJ – TURNING HIM INTO A STAR MAKING A BIG SPECTACLE OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP – YOU AREN’T GOING TO DO. TAKE WASTED EFFORT/STRESS OF THIS AWAY. Flags IN THE STREET means ‘to the public’ brought to the attention of the world—‘Your business in the street’ is everyone knows about it.

THE PILLOWS, MOSTLY RED, IN THE CONTEXT OF THIS, ARE YOU AREN’T GOING TO SUFFER ANY MORE, NO MORE ANXIETY, ATTACHMENT OR PAIN. Pillows: where your head rests. Is it an easy place, fluffy, white, clean & pure? Or if it’s red it’s pain. TAKE IT AWAY. ALL NOT NEEDED IS BEING TAKEN AWAY. IT SEEMS AUTOMATIC, NO DISCUSSION OR RITUALS, IT’S JUST DONE. I was going to get everything new anyway means a new consciousness.)

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Shrine to Shakti, Shrine to Shiva, Uncategorized

HE FINALLY FIGURES IT OUT

1-20-20-SEX DREAM EXPLAINED

I analyze a dream for a friend.

“He finally figures it out.” Symbols explained.

I am with a young man, Atilla. We seem to be in love but there is some sort of problem – he absents himself a lot.

(WE WILL SEE MOMENTARILY THAT THIS IS THE CRUX OF THE ISSUE.)

One day I see this vision: A chair that seems to be made of wood & reeds (this is so vague it might not mean anything, but if it’s true then it’s the chair in my apt kitchen)

The male is sitting in the chair & on the bottom of it is a large white feather, that seems kind of ‘worn’, the size you would get from the wing of a goose, maybe 10”, & it hangs straight down from the chair.

(THIS WHITE FEATHER MEANS ‘SURRENDER’ LIKE A WHITE FLAG & WHAT HAS SURRENDERED IS HIS PENIS, OR THE FACT THAT HE ISN’T GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH THE DREAMER. HE SAYS ‘I GIVE UP.’ WHAT DOES HE GIVE UP? TRYING TO HAVE SEX WITH THE LADY, TRYING TO GET HER TO ‘GIVE IN’ BUT NOT GIVING HER WHAT SHE WANTS – A RELATIONSHIP.

INDEED THE WAY THE CHAIR IS MADE IS APROPOS: WOOD & REEDS, ESPECIALLY THE REEDS, WHICH ARE STRAW.

STRAW IS INSUBSTANTIAL, DOES NOT LAST. STRAW IS HOW HE WANTED THE AFFAIR – FLY BY NIGHT, SEX ONLY – NO PERMANENCE.)

Atilla now comes home. He has wood in front of him, he’s smiling as he’s figured something out. The wood is beautiful. It’s painted white – the pieces of wood are these thick square planks like you use for columns or corners of a house, inside is blonde like Oak. He has a few of these planks & they are all separate but now he puts them together – they fit like a puzzle & form the basis of a bed (the bottom & sides). It’s a powerful bed made of these 8” diameter beams, it has some sort of border to it. I think he’s smiling because it all fits together so perfectly; he has his eyes on the bed, nowhere else, not looking at me.

(ATILLA FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHY BONNY REFUSED TO CONTINUE HAVING SEX WITH HIM. SHE WANTS A RELATIONSHIP.

HE SEES ‘THE PIECES OF THE PUZZLE’ & THEY ALL FIT. THE THICK PLANKS ARE COLUMNS AS WOULD HOLD UP A PORCH, THE CORNERS OF A HOUSE & SUCH. THIS SAYS PERMANENCE, NOT LIKE STRAW WHICH THE WIND BLOWS AWAY.

THESE PIECES OF WOOD ALL FIT TOGETHER LIKE THE THOUGHTS IN HIS MIND, THEY FORM A BED, THEY ARE WHITE. SHE DOESN’T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM ANY MORE BECAUSE SHE WANTS A RELATIONSHIP – WHITE LIKE MARRIAGE.

THIS MAKES HIM SMILE BECAUSE IT ENDS THE PUZZLE THAT TORMENTED HIM – WHY DID SHE ABSENT HERSELF? IT PLEASES HIM BECAUSE HE THEN SEES SHE STILL LOVES HIM, SHE WANTS MARRIAGE * & WITH IT GOES SEX*. HE’S SMILING BECAUSE THIS IDEA MAKES HIM HAPPY – HE WANTS MARRIAGE WITH HER ALSO. IF HE DIDN’T LOVE HER, THIS THOUGHT WOULD NOT MAKE HIM SMILE.)

I’m standing there & become disgruntled. Before, I was alright, now I’m not. I say to him,

“I know why YOU’VE BEEN ABSENT. YOU’VE OBVIOUSLY BEEN DOING SEX TO HER”.

Who ‘her’ is I don’t know – a female he knows & I suspect him but can’t prove it.

(THIS IS PART OF THE PUZZLE: HE IS WITH ANOTHER WOMAN. HE SEES THAT THE DREAMER IS DISGRUNTLED BY THIS, OBVIOUSLY. ABSENT WITH HER BUT PRESENT WITH ANOTHER. HE SEES THAT IS THE BASIS OF HER UNHAPPINESS & HER ABSENTEEISM.)

I seem to look like this: Smooth pretty hair, to the shoulders, but all curved forward, the bangs & bottom of the hair. There is a blue feather-shaped ornament hanging from my temple, my dress is like an old-fashioned Empire-style neckline, a soft color, maybe off-white, draped to the floor, the appearance artistic…….finis

(THE ‘I’ PORTRAYS A TRADITIONAL WOMAN, RATHER DEMURE, the hair tucked in THE TYPE OF IMAGE AS PICTURED IN FINE ART, WHERE THE WOMAN IS SEEN IN A ROMANTIC WAY, THE OBJECT OF LOVE, NOT LUST, NOT A TROLLOP OR SECOND HAND ROSE. THE BLUE ORNAMENT HANGING FROM THE TEMPLE IS THE ISSUE WHICH GRIEVES HER -being blue or sad.

SUCH A WOMAN WOULD SEEK TO BE LOVED IN MARRIAGE, IS MADE UNHAPPY BY HIS OTHER RELATIONSHIP–WILL NOT BE SECOND FIDDLE TO HER.) finis.

……………………………………………………

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Shrine to Shakti, Uncategorized

MOB OF SOULS ASCENDS

FIFTY OR MORE SOULS ASCEND INTO HEAVEN!

1-19-2020-HUGE NUMBERS OF SOULS ASCEND-50 OR MORE

These are dreams about them & I give detailed explanations of the symbols.

I am at the old farm house. My Mom is here.

(never my earthly Mother, this has to be either Mother God, the Holy Virgin or the Mother-God within my soul. My earthly Mom hated me & severely abused me; she never appears in a good light. Yes, she is in Heaven but in the lowest place & got there by the skin of her teeth, possibly because I sacrificed for her & she had a death bed repentance.)

In the living room are two of my friends. One is a man that seems to be old, thin, sitting in one corner of the room facing inward, on my left, dressed in dark colors with a hat. He seems ‘from the old days.’ The other is a female who seems young standing in the other corner of the room facing inward.

(THE OLD MAN COULD BE MY DAD. HE COULD BE HERE BECAUSE OF THE DIGNITY & HONOR OF WHAT IS HAPPENING—SO WE ALL CELEBRATE AS DURING A HOLIDAY.)

The front door faces the street – which is only about 25’ away – & I see a truck stop. First I thought it was Fed Ex, I feel it has a delivery, but it’s appearance is a squarish utility vehicle, white, with black writing on the side & a red headline, & out of it steps MY LAWYER with a briefcase– it looks like doctor’s case, puffy, thick light brown old leather with a spot that’s ‘worn’ like ‘worn down’ with soft white scratches on the side. The case is SO BIG it could hold at least 50 lbs or more corn kernels. He comes in with his case.

(THE SIZE OF HIS CASE SAYS: THIS CONCERNS A LARGE GROUP OF CLIENTS. IF EACH CLIENT’S PAPERS ARE IN THIS CASE, IT WOULD BE HUGE & PUFFED OUT.)

He is FAT, like 300 lbs, & wearing a beanie hat, shiny dark green.

(IF THIS IS WHO I THINK IT IS, HE’S FAT RIGHT NOW BEING NOURISHED WITH LOVE FROM THOSE HERE. THE SHINY GREEN BEENIE HAT SAYS ‘BUSINESS ON EARTH’ – THIS MAN IS FROM HEAVEN.)

For some reason I cannot speak & I don’t introduce him to my two friends – I’m tongue-tied – I know his name yet I can’t say it, I remain silent. After a couple minutes he introduces himself to my friends & I imagined he said the name ‘Jesus’ but I am confused about this, it could not be.

(BUT IT IS JESUS. THAT’S WHY I AM SPEECHLESS & TONGUE-TIED, I CAN’T TALK FOR SHOCK. JESUS HAS ARRIVED AS A ‘LAWYER’ TO REPRESENT A HUGE NUMBER OF SOULS, TO SET THEM FREE FROM PRISON.)

I go into the kitchen where Mom is cooking lunch, but the spot she’s standing is the sink. I see for some reason she’s put my ceramic pots here where the dishes are drying (& they are across the room drying rather than by the sink)—the pots I keep by my desk containing dozens of pens & all colors magic markers—highlighters.

(SHE’S BY THE SINK BECAUSE MY MOMGOD’S BUSINESS IS SHE’S BEEN HELPING SOULS WASHING DISHES, CLEANSING IMPLEMENTS SO SOULS CAN EAT. HER PUTTING MY PENS & MAGIC MARKERS/HIGHLIGHTERS WHERE THE DISHES ARE IS THAT I AM WRITING THESE VISIONS & PUTTING THEM ON TWO WEBSITES NOW. THIS APPARENTLY IS HELPING – PEOPLE READ THESE ACCOUNTS & BECOME AWARE OF THE SOULS & MIGHT PRAY FOR THEM OR GET MASSES. THIS IS WHAT MOM IS SAYING – YOUR POSTS ARE LIKE DISHES, THEY ARE IMPLEMENTS TO BRING NOURISHMENT TO SOULS. SHE WANTS ME TO KNOW SHE APPROVES.)

I want to get outside because seeing out the windows the back yard has filled with a MOB OF PARTY GOERS—they’re young like the students at the University near us.

(LATER I WILL DISCOVER A LARGE NUMBER MIGHT HAVE BEEN KILLED TOGETHER IN AN AIRPLANE CRASH.)

As I look at them they are on our property to the left – an area I visited the least when we lived there (it made me feel uncomfortable like it was eerie or haunted) & I see part of them, but the ‘mob’ extends beyond my vision – toward that back field & woods – & they’re all wearing the same material clothes. These are white & ‘stone washed’ thin light denims – both males & females are all wearing this material. Some have on vests in this denim which are open & loose, underneath is the white soft cotton.

(THE CLOTHING BEING SOFT WHITE IS LIKE ‘MY SHEEP HEAR MY CALL,’ – WE ARE THE SHEEP OF GOD, WE ARE HER LITTLE LAMBS. THE STONE-WASHED DENIM IS THEY HAVE BEEN CLEANSED, AGAIN & AGAIN, BEEN PURIFIED.)

I’m really eager to join them. I feel I’ve not had any fun in a long time & I want to party.

(I AM SO HAPPY ABOUT THE SOULS BEING LIFTED; I WANT TO REJOICE WITH THEM.)

My Mom takes me out for a minute & points to the right, (she’s shorter than me)

(THIS MOMGOD PERSON IS EITHER HOLY MARY, ANOTHER FEMALE SAINT, OR THE MOMGOD WITHIN ME. HER SHORTNESS IS HER HUMILITY.)

“There’s a whole gang of them over there,”

but I can’t see that far & can’t run over there right now as I must do some things.

(THIS UNDERSCORES THERE ARE SO MANY SOULS & IN TWO SECTIONS. ONE IS A ‘HAUNTED’ AREA I DIDN’T LIKE GOING TO.) THE TWO SECTIONS COULD HAVE BEEN TWO MAJOR ACCIDENTS. OR TWO PLANES COLLIDING OR SOME OTHER TYPE VEHICLES WITH MANY PASSENGERS (TRAINS, BUSES) COLLIDING. AT THE END I WILL SEE AN EXPLOSION.)

I go back into the house & a female in the house is upstairs tending to my Rottweiller, in a cozy middle room such as did not exist there.

She has a BOX which is like a crib & a radio – the whole side of it is open except for a bottom piece covering a few inches.

She had my Rottie (Gagee Boy) lying on his back – treating him like a baby, spoiling him somehow, when I glimpse what looks like a tiny human foot with red painted toenails.

I want to take a closer look at this, go pick this little foot up & see it’s one of the back legs of my Rottie, his foot turns into a human one—of a wee one.

The female tending to him is wearing a red fuzzy loose sweater. Is she short & plump?

(THE RED SWEATER SAYS THIS PERSON OR SOUL IS SUFFERING. TENDING TO MY ROTTY, SPOILING HIM IS SHE IS TENDING TO MY INNER SENSE. ANIMALS ARE OFTEN INNER SENSES, ESPECIALLY DOGS & CATS, BECAUSE THEIR SENSES ARE SHARPER THAN OURS. HE HAS A HUMAN FOOT BECAUSE HE IS ME. THIS FEMALE IS NOURISHING ME LIKE A CHILD.

THE FACT THAT THIS IS A CRIB BUT ALSO A RADIO, WHERE THIS WOMAN IS ‘SPOILING’ OR NURTURING HIM/ME TELLS ME THIS: THIS IS A WOMAN WHO IS SUFFERING – PROBABLY ON EARTH. THE RADIO SAYS ‘TUNING IN.’ SHE IS GETTING MY INNER SENSE TO ‘TUNE INTO’ OR GET THE FREQUENCY/VISION OF THIS MESSAGE.

MUCH OF THE TIME WHEN SOULS ARE HELPED IT IS A SECOND PARTY THAT TAKES ME THERE OR HELPS ME ‘TUNE IN’ OR SEE THE REALITY. I DON’T THINK SHE’S A SOUL IN PURGATORY BECAUSE THIS WOULDN’T BE THEIR POSITION.

BUT IF SHE IS ON EARTH SHE’S A SAINTLY WOMAN WHO’S HELPING ME—NOT SURE HOW THAT HAPPENED & DEFINITELY DON’T KNOW WHO SHE IS UNLESS SHE’S ONE WOMAN I KNOW WHO HAS CANCER—THE TORTURE SHE’S BEEN THROUGH THE LAST YEARS HAS LIFTED HER ON HIGH.

SHE CAN’T BE A SAINT IN HEAVEN AS THEY DON’T SUFFER – SHE WOULD NOT BE WEARING A RED SWEATER.)

I’m quickly putting on my shoes to go outside to celebrate – the shoes are black canvas with rubber soles, as I slip them on I see I’ve gotten moist dark dirt on my legs (I’m wearing shorts) & am a bit pissed as I have to clean this off before I go out there – another delay.

(THIS MOIST DIRT IS SAYING ‘YOU WERE WITH SOULS UNDERGROUND’, THEREFORE THE DIRT.

BUT NOW IT’S TIME TO ASCEND INTO HEAVEN OR RATHER CELEBRATE THE ASCENSIONS, I MUST CLEAN OFF THE DIRT!)

Another thing I attend to. I have in my hands a bouquet of greens. One batch are evergreen branches, close together, not spread out, & with them a bunch of short greens like parsley. I go into Mario’s room – the spare room (which always represents separation from a man, lover or husband) which is empty, has pink walls with the paint peeling off, looks dull, dusty, has not been attended in ages.

(THIS IS ABOUT xxxx & I BEING SEPARATED FOR A WHILE. BUT THE ‘EVERGREENS’ I’M HOLDING IN MY HANDS ARE SAYING ‘THIS WILL BE FOREVER.’ THE SHORT GREENS I’M HOLDING ARE SAYING ‘IT WON’T BE TOO LONG BEFORE YOU GET WITH HIM AGAIN. BUT OUR SEPARATION SEEMS LIKE A LONG TIME, ESPECIALLY FOR HIM AS HE IS IMMATURE & DOESN’T UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION.

THE PINK WALLS, UNATTENDED, PAINT PEELING, DUST, ETC IS ABOUT THE ABSENCE OF SEX.

WHY DOES HE FIGURE INTO THIS DREAM? WHY NOT, IT’S MY LIFE.)

I see a silver-grey tall flower pot there, shaped like an hour glass; I put water in it & the greens. I am careful to fill it to the top as the greens are short, want to make sure their bottoms reach the water, & I place this somewhere in the room, wondering should I have put it elsewhere or is this alright? The long-stemmed evergreens are in the middle surrounded by the large bunch of short greens.

(THIS AFFAIR WILL BE THE ‘FOREVER’ ONE ONCE WE GET TOGETHER. SYMBOLS OF FOREVER – THE EVERGREENS & SILVER POT, EVERGREENS ARE FOREVER—THEY DON’T DIE IN WINTER, THEY STAY GREEN.

THE SILVER POT, A SILVER ANNIVERSARY IS 20 YEARS – WHICH WOULD BE UNTIL THE END OF MY LIFE. SEPARATION IS TEMPORARY, WE WILL BE TOGETHER FOR ALL TIME ONCE WE GET BACK.

FILLING WITH WATER IS MY FAITH IN THIS RELATIONSHIP – WATER IS GRACE, KEEPING IT ALIVE. AND THE SHORT GREENS, MAKING SURE THEY STAY ALIVE, IS WE WILL BE GETTING BACK TOGETHER REASONABLY SOON—I WANT TO MAKE SURE I KEEP THAT ALIVE.)

Now it’s TIME FOR LUNCH. I see the lawyer walking from the living room to the kitchen. He’s changed totally – he’s now very thin, no hat, black t shirt, black pants. I believe my friends in the room are following him, I don’t see clearly.

(NOW JESUS IS GETTING READY TO CELEBRATE HIS OWN DEATH – WHICH IS THE HOLY MASS. HE IS THIN, NOT NOURISHED, IN POVERTY, WEARING BLACK.

MY DAD & A FEMALE ASSOCIATE WILL BE PRESENT I THINK BECAUSE THIS IS SUCH A BIG EVENT WITH SO MANY SOULS ASCENDING.)

Myself, I’m going to skip or sacrifice lunch to join the revelry outside. If I have lunch with them I might miss it. These people outside having fun have got all my attention, I so want to have a good time with them!

(WHAT I’M CALLING ‘MY SACRIFICE’ PROBABLY REFERS TO THE ‘HEROIC ACT’ I MADE AS A CHILD—THAT ALL THE GRACES I DESERVE GO TO THE SOULS IN PURGATORY.)

After this dream ended there was an ‘epilogue”. I saw a vehicle in the sky, made of a dark grey hard plastic, & it EXPLODED. My instant thought was are these souls a large group of younger people who died in a plane crash?

(THIS COULD EXPLAIN WHY SO MANY ARE BEING LIFTED TOGETHER. IT’S LIKE THEY WERE FRIENDS OR ELSE THE EXPERIENCE OF DYING TOGETHER SOMEHOW BONDED THEM, & SO, THEY ARE ALSO BEING LIFTED TOGETHER.

HALLELUJAH!)

……………………………………………………….

DREAM ABOUT MY OWN CLEANSING

I see a gutter coming down from a wooded hill, the ground is hard, bare, & through this gutter coming down is what looks like medium light brown mud, lots of it, coming down strongly. I think the mud might represent defecation but there’s nothing ugly or disgusting about it. After it comes down, it empties into a sewer under a small iron-covered bridge, goes underground, & I also see the gutter bare & clean. (The dirt around the gutter here & there had black streaks.)

Then I see a lady sitting in a black probably metal wheel chair right on top of the gutter where the mud was coming through & behind her stands a male as if assisting her in the wheel chair. I draw the conclusion that this mud-defecation came from the lady – that it symbolized bad stuff coming out of her & she was cleansed.

(MY GUESS THIS IS WHAT THIS MEANS: SOULS ARE BEING CLEANSED BUT GOD IS ALSO CLEANSING ME. THERE’S A LOT COMING OUT OF ME & SOON IT’S ALL GONE, & DISAPPEARS.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT HAS TO DO WITH THE BLACK WHEELCHAIR & THE MAN BEHIND IT.

I BELIEVE THIS MAN IS xxxx WHO TORTURED ME SO MUCH. HE CRIPPLED ME, AS I WAS FIGHTING HIS DEMONS FOR YEARS, COULD NOT DO ANY OTHER WORK. AND SO I AM IN A BLACK WHEELCHAIR, WHICH IS LIKE PAINS OF HELL—FROM HELL–& HE IS BEHIND IT, NOT AS A HELPER BUT AS THE ONE THAT DID IT TO ME.

BUT GOD HAS RELEASED ME THE WAY SHE RELEASED THE SOULS – I AM FREE – GOD TOOK THE NEGATIVES OUT OF ME! HALLELUJAH!)

…………………………………………………………

SOULS ASCENDED IN HEAVEN

I see a canal like one you’d see in Venice. In it stand about thirty people – male & female – all wearing identical shirts in a beautiful light violet. The gondola is peacefully gliding along the canal. I do not see a gondolier. I instantly know its Souls who entered Heaven.

(VIOLET IS A RARIFIED SPIRITUAL LIGHT – THEY ARE DRESSED IN THE BEAUTIFUL LIGHT OF GOD–& THESE SOULS ARE IN A HIGHER PLACE OF HEAVEN, HIGHER THAN AVERAGE.)

Along the sides of the canal are white (somehow I think of alabaster, it’s luminous) buildings close to the water, staircases going up to the dwellings, all PURE WHITE.

(THIS SHOWS THEIR HABITATS IN THE PURE WHITE OF PERFECTION.)

……………………………………………….

THE EGGS

I see a NEST containing five luminous white eggs the size of goose eggs (about twice that of chickens.) There is white light surrounding the nest.

I think right away these contain LIFE & what is the message? It might be the prayers I’m saying daily during Mass for those WHO HAVE NOT YET BEEN BORN AGAIN. This could say they will soon be born again as I keep saying the prayer.

(THE PRAYER I SAY EVERY MASS IS THE SAME AS THE BAPTISMAL PRAYER. IT’S ALSO CALLED ‘THE SINNER’S PRAYER’ WHICH ORAL ROBERTS MADE FAMOUS. THIS IS WHAT I SAY, AMONG THE SEVERAL PRAYERS I MAKE, THIS IS FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NOT YET BEEN BORN AGAIN, TO HELP THEM GET THERE:

“MY GOD, I RENOUNCE & REJECT THE DEVIL & ALL HIS PRETENSIONS, HIS TEMPTATIONS, HIS LIES & HIS SINS. I REBUKE HIM COMPLETELY NOW & FOREVER.

I ASK YOU TO COME INTO MY HEART, MY SOUL, MY MIND & MY BODY & STAY THERE FOREVER.

I ASK THAT YOU WILL LET ME ENTER YOUR SPIRIT & STAY THERE FOREVER & I THANK YOU FOR THIS GRACE.”

THIS IS SAYING THERE ARE FIVE SOULS WAITING TO HATCH OR GET ‘BORN AGAIN’—AS I KEEP SAYING THE PRAYER! WHOOPEE!)

From Rasa Von Werder 1-19-20

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Shrine to Shakti, Uncategorized

ONE SOUL ASCENDS 2 HELPED

ONE SOUL ASCENDS 2 HELPED

I REACH 3 SOULS IN PURGATORY-ONE WITH A SACRED KISS-ANOTHER BENEFITS FROM THE HOLY EUCHARIST

Xxxx CAN’T UNDERSTAND WHY I’M AVOIDING HIM

I am on the RR track right between my property with the path to the pond/river directly on the left. There sits a young male who is very beautiful, like an angel from Heaven. He has soft, smooth, tawny skin, perfect features, nice nose with oval nostrils, he’s sitting on something, don’t know what. It vaguely feels like I’m forbidden to be intimate with him – don’t know why, but I decide to take matters into my own hands.

I go over to him & give him a peck on his left cheek & this peck turns into a real kiss, both ways, which goes on for a while. I was real happy over this, that he reciprocated, wanted the kiss as much as I did.

(THIS SOUNDS LIKE THE KISSES I MAKE FOR THE SOULS IN PURGATORY. I MAKE TEN HUGS & TEN KISSES ON BOTH CHEEKS FOR SOULS, AT THE END OF EVERY MASS. SOMETIMES I WONDER IF THEY FEEL ANY OF IT. THIS SAYS SOMEONE DID.

THE CLUE IT’S A SOUL IS THE CHEEK. I KISS ON THE CHEEK, IT’S NOT SEXY. BUT WHEN IT TURNS INTO SOMETHING INTIMATE, RECIPROCAL, IT SHOWS A DEPTH, AN EMOTION. THE KISS WAS FELT, IT WAS RETURNED BY A SOUL.

I NOW RECALL DURING THE NIGHT AS I WAS IN A ‘TWILIGHTSTATE’ I HEARD SOMEONE SAY ‘I LOVE YOU.’ IT WAS A SOUL – I HAVE HEARD THIS THOUGHT BEFORE FROM BOTH LIVING PERSONS & SOULS. MAYBE THIS SOUL SAID IT.

ANOTHER CLUE IT’S PURGATORY IS THE SPOT WHERE HE’S ‘SITTING.’

THE RAIL ROAD TRACK IS A ‘NO MAN’S LAND.’ IT’S OWNERSHIP IS NOT CERTAIN. IT PROBABLY BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE, TO DISCOVER IF I HAVE RIGHTS OVER IT WOULD COST ME THOUSANDS TO RESEARCH THE DEEDS BEFORE 1890. PURGATORY IS ALSO A ‘NO MAN’S LAND’ BECAUSE TO REACH A SOUL IS A MILESTONE– ONE MUST HAVE SOME KIND OF HELP AS FROM A SAINT IN HEAVEN OR AN ANGEL, WHO CONNECTS YOU TO THE SOUL IN A SPACE WHERE THERE ARE UNTOLD TRILLIONS.

AN IMPORTANT CLUE IS THIS PERSON/SOUL IS SITTING BETWEEN TWO AREAS ON MY LAND. HE IS NOT DIRECTLY ON MY LAND (MY DOMAIN, A PLACE IN SPACE/SPIRIT I OWN OR HAVE JURISDICTION OVER) BUT MY DOMAIN IS ON BOTH SIDES. BUT THE PATH THERE LEADS TO WATER – WATER MEANS GRACE, A BIG SYMBOL OF IT.

{*SO IS FIRE IN SOME CASES, BUT EACH SYMBOL MUST BE READ IN THE CONTEXT OF THE DREAM. BOTH WATER & FIRE CAN GO BOTH WAYS, DESTRUCTIVE OR CONSTRUCTIVE. FOR INSTANCE, WHEN FINANCIAL INSTITUTIONS CALL THEMSELVES AN ‘UMBRELLA’ THEY ARE SAYING AGAINST THE WATER OF FINANCIAL LOSS. WHEN SOMEONE ‘RAINS ON YOUR PARADE’ THEY ARE SPOILING YOUR GOOD TIMES. WHEN WATER FLOODS YOUR HOME IT’S DISASTER.

BUT, WHEN RAIN COMES AFTER A DROUGHT, IT’S A BLESSING. WHEN I SAW GOD FACE TO FACE THE FIRST TIME, IT WAS A RIVER GUSHING OUT OF A MOUNTAIN, CASCADING VIOLENTLY INTO A GORGE WAY DOWN UNDERNEATH ME. THIS WAS THE TORRENT OF GOD’S GRACE COMING INTO MY SOUL.

THE SECOND TIME, IT WAS THE INFINITE GOLDEN OCEAN OF LOVE, THE OCEAN WAS GOD, BUT IT WAS ALSO ME, & THE HORIZON OPENED UP CONTINUOUSLY, THERE WAS NO STOP TO IT.*}

THIS PATH LEADS TO MY POND IN THE WOODS, THE SWAMP, & MOST OF ALL, THE RIVER. IT’S A CLICHÉ TO SAY “RIVER OF GRACE.” THE SOUL IS JUST SITTING IN PURGATORY WAITING FOR GRACE, I COME ALONG. THIS IS SAYING HE RECEIVED THE GRACE & WAS GRATEFUL. HIS BEAUTY TELLS ME THAT HE’S NOT FAR FROM HEAVEN, ALMOST READY TO ASCEND? OR DID HE ASCEND?) IT MIGHT BE MORE LIKELY HE DID ASCEND THAN NOT, AS THIS IS EXTREMELY RARE THAT A SOUL WOULD BE SO BEAUTIFUL & RECIPROCATE MY KISS!

A SOUL BEING ‘BEAUTIFUL’ MEANS IT’S CLEANSED. DURING THE TIME IN PURGATORY, THE SOUL GETS CLEANER & CLEANER, & THEREFORE MORE BEAUTIFUL AS THE NATURE OF GOD IS REVEALED–& GOD IS TRUTH, BEAUTY & LOVE. WE ALL HAVE GOD WITHIN, BUT SIN OBSCURES OUR TRUE NATURE, LIKE PUTTING FILTH ON A PANE OF TRANSPARENT GLASS. THE TIME IN PURGATORY REMOVES THAT FILTH OR OBSCURITY.)

Then the scene changes. It seems I’m alone all the time – feeling kind of isolated. I go out for a walk & come upon a lumber yard. Here there are logs that are 1.5’ in diameter, dozens of them on a cart, many carts. The whole yard is filled with all these felled trees, sawed up where only the thick, usable part of them is here, ready to be sawed into planks for building I suppose.

(LUMBER IN MY DREAMS IS USUALLY THE CROSS. I AM IN PURGATORY, WHERE PEOPLE ARE WORKING OFF THEIR KARMA, THE CROSSES THEY DID NOT FINISH CARRYING ON EARTH, I’M HERE TO HELP THEM PAY THEIR DEBT.

THESE BIG TREES, SO MANY OF THEM, ARE GETTING READY TO BE MADE INTO ‘CROSSES’ OR TORTURES FOR THESE SOULS TO ENDURE.

I AM ALONE, MENTALLY, PSYCHOLOGICALLY, IN A GOOD PLACE TO MEET SOULS IN PURGATORY & I MEET TWO OF THEM.)

Here there are two men. One is in a semi-enclosed room, the other is just outside that room working, stooping on the ground doing something.

(THESE TWO MEN I MAKE CONTACT WITH, ONE IS CLEANER THAN THE OTHER. THE ONE INSIDE A ROOM IS SEMI-CONFINED, THE ONE STOOPING DOWN IS A CLUE HE MIGHT BE IN PRAYER, HUMBLE, AS IF KNEELING CLOSE TO THE GROUND, POSSIBLY PRAYING FOR HELP–& THAT WOULD BE WHY I COME ALONG.)

I engage the one outside the room, not because I’m attracted to him – not attracted to either one of these guys – just want someone to talk to. The one in the room I vaguely see a female behind him, she’s sort of ‘foggy’ to my sight.

I know they are both at a paid job & I’m lucky they can pay attention to me away from their work. If the boss was around he might take issue with me interfering, but he’s apparently not around.

(I’M SAYING THIS IS NOT ON THE HUMAN PLANE, ME LOOKING FOR HOTTIES, THIS IS ME WANTING TO CONNECT WITH SOULS FOR SPIRITUAL PURPOSES.

WHO IS THE BOSS THAT MIGHT STOP ME? IT’S SAYING THAT GOD IS NOT AROUND AS A ‘MEAN, TASK MASTER BOSS’, GOD HAS ABSENTED HIS/HER WRATH, SO TO SPEAK, FOR ME TO MINISTER TO THEM.

ALSO THE ONE IN THE ROOM SEEMS LIKE THE LADY BEHIND HIM COULD BE HOLY MARY OR ANOTHER SAINT. HE MIGHT HAVE PRAYED TO HER, SO SHE’S PRESENT TO HELP HIM. IT COULD ALSO BE HIS GUARDIAN ANGEL. GUARDIAN ANGELS STAY WITH US THROUGH OUR PURGATORY, SO I HEARD.)

After a while the one I’m talking to & I go away somewhere. We’re doing something & we return in about 20 minutes.

(TWENTY MINUTES IS AN AVERAGE TIME FOR MY MASS. SOMETIMES THEY ARE LESS, SOMETIMES I PRAY FOR HOURS. THIS WOULD BE CONNECTING THIS MAN WITH THE MASS—PERHAPS HE WAS ON HIS KNEES ASKING FOR A MASS.)

When we do so the one in the room – who is tall, thin, dark haired, gives a knowing look, even nods his head somehow to show he ASSUMES WE WENT AWAY TO HAVE SEX.

(HE ASSUMES WE WERE ‘HAVING SEX.’ THIS COULD BE TAKEN TWO WAYS. IN MY DREAMS HAVING SEX CAN BE THE GREATEST INTIMACY, WHERE DURING SEX, I GIVE SPIRITUAL LOVE OF THE HIGHEST KIND, & HE ASCENDS INTO HEAVEN. DID THIS SECOND SOUL RECOGNIZE THE INTIMACY & ACKNOWLEDGE IT, OR DID HE THINK IT WAS SOMETHING LOWER ?)

This is not true at all,

(THIS SEEMS TO SAY HE ASSUMED IT WAS OF A LOWER NATURE, BUT THE LOAF OF BREAD AGAINST THE MAN’S CHEST EXPLAINS IT IS SPIRITUAL.)

& the other guy returns with his arms full of a few things he got in stores – which explains our time away, not sex, doing some purchases. He sees to be holding for one thing, a long loaf of bread against his chest, like what they call ‘French’ or ‘Italian,’ those long ones like over a foot long, not very wide, white bread.

(THIS WHITE BREAD IS UNMISTAKABLY ‘EUCHARIST.’ I WENT AWAY WITH A SOUL OR TOOK HIM ‘AWAY OR ASIDE’ FOR GRACE – HE’S HOLDING THE EUCHARIST TO HIS CHEST WHICH MEANS HEART – HE RECEIVED THE GRACE.)

ANOTHER DREAM: xxxx CANNOT FATHOM WHY I’M AVOIDING HIM

There was a young man who went some place where I’m close by, & there’s a line of suitcases there, nice ones, in all colors including red, many, maybe thirty suitcases.

(THE SUITCASES ARE THE POSSIBLE REASONS I’M NOT SEEING HIM.)

He wants to get somewhere or ‘get at’ something & he takes each suitcase & throws it behind him, in an intense way, kind of frustrated. When he throws them backward they go like 15-20’, quite a throw. I especially note the bright red suitcase going backward. He’s almost mad, not quite. Reminds me somehow of ‘the mad hatter.’ Or a badger digging out a den intently, doesn’t want any interruptions from anyone, makes short work of any animal that disrupts his task.

(THIS SOUNDS LIKE xxxx TRYING TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF WHY I’M NOT SEEING HIM. HE’S FRUSTRATED & CAN’T GET IT.

I’VE BEEN DOING EXORCISMS EVERY DAY AGAINST HIS DEMONS – ONE OF THEM WAS ANGER. SO THIS IS SAYING HE ISN’T ANGRY, THAT DEMON IS GONE..

HE THROWS ASIDE ‘BAGGAGE.’ BAGGAGE IS NEGATIVES ONE CARRIES AROUND – THEIR BAD ACTIONS, TRAITS, SINS OR WHATEVER HOLDS THEM BACK.

HE’S GOING THROUGH EVERY ITEM TO FIGURE OUT WHAT WENT WRONG, INCLUDING THE RED SUITCASE MEANING PAIN OR SUFFERING.

{AGAIN, RED HAS MANY MEANINGS & HAS TO BE DISCERNED IN THE CONTEXT OF THE DREAM. IT CAN MEAN ‘STOP’ – IT CAN MEAN ‘I WAS RED WITH EMBARRASSMENT,’ BUT IN MOST OF MY DREAMS, THE RED IS BLOOD & STANDS FOR RECENT SUFFERINGS OLD SUFFERINGS ARE PURPLE.}

BUT HE CANNOT FIGURE OUT WHY I’M AVOIDING HIM.

I NOTICE THE RED SUITCASE BEING THROWN ASIDE IS HE DISMISSES THE PAIN HE GAVE ME– IN OTHER WORDS,

photo

“SHE COULD NOT BE IGNORING ME BECAUSE OF THE PAIN I GAVE HER.”

THAT MEANS HE THINKS IT WAS OK TO GIVE ME PAIN. AND BELIEVING THAT, HE CANNOT GET TO THE BOTTOM OF HIS DILEMMA. )

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Shrine to Shakti, Uncategorized

GOD ENJOYS LIFE-SOUL ASCENDS

1-17-20-GOD ENJOYING LIFE-LEELA-&-A SOUL ASCENDS 1-16-20

This dream exemplifies what ‘Leela’ or ‘Lila’ is as a state of Yoga.

I am somewhere in the back yard someplace which has wide fields behind the house. Someone has brought in a motorcycle & I decide to ride it.

I get on it & away I go, fast, through the fields. It feels Heavenly, a smooth ride, not a care in the world, totally free & happy. The fields are hard, very little growth to interfere; the greenery is sparse.

I return to the precincts of the house & as I examine the motorcycle, it seems different parts of it are falling apart, not the engine – that part’s fine, but the parts of the handlebars & the seat, I have to fix & adjust, they are made of ‘ticky tacky,’ more like a child’s toy than an adult cycle.

I also notice then the puddles. They aren’t dirty, they’re clear, they’re shallow, but I ask someone is it ok for the motorcycle to get wet?

I also worried if I was authorized to take the cycle out, as it wasn’t mine, & I want to go out with it again, vaguely see that I do but these concerns are on my mind.

MEANING: This dream explains Leela, which you prayed for last night – how we experience God Consciousness when still on earth.

When you first use the motorcycle & dash away, you have no worries, fears or concerns on your mind. You’re seeing the big picture, the joy of the ride, which is having faith, hope & happiness.

But when a person falls down to the minutiae of life – the details of things not right, the worries & fears, they lose that big picture & their bliss or joy, then God isn’t in their consciousness.

You see all the worries, fears, like the puddles, do you have the right to use this thing? That ends joy & bliss.

1-16-20-A SOUL ASCENDS

In this dream I have a cardboard box open in front of me. To the right seems food wrapped up, but in the open box to the left is a parcel that makes me uncomfortable.

It’s round, covered in a sort of shiny silver material, it’s about 8” in diameter, the paper on it is folded behind it. The front has the Leaves of Victory—laurel leaves in green, a pic of a garland over the top & the bottom, with writing on it. I try to read the writing but can’t.

What makes me uncomfortable is I believe this parcel has the remains of a person inside – somehow condensed. I keep thinking, keep trying to read, keep thinking & being uncomfortable.

MEANING: A SOUL HAS ASCENDED! The food on the right is the way by which this soul ascended: The Holy Eucharist, the Food of the Body & Blood of Jesus & Mary, which you’ve been celebrating.

The way the body of the ascended soul is represented has two clues: First, the writing on it – you don’t know who it is, but the laurel leaves of victory tell you there’s been a major victory here. And silver to you has the meaning of permanence or ‘forever.’ Whoopee!

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Shrine to Shakti, Uncategorized

OUR DESTINIES

1-17-20 OUR DESTINIES

LETTERS BETWEEN WILLIAM BOND, Xxx & RASA

HI WILLIAM

IT IS EXTREMELY DIFFICULT TO KNOW HOW THE WORLD WOULD BE WHEN WOMEN ‘RULE THE WORLD’ AS THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A WORLD LIKE OURS RULED BY THEM. LAST TIME WE RULED WE HAD VILLAGES OF NO MORE THAN 15K (FROM WHAT MARIJA GIMBUTAS EXPLAINED) & BESIDES THAT THE SOCIETIES WERE HUNTER-GATHERERS.

ALL I CAN SAY IS FOLLOW YOUR HEART. FOR A WHILE YOU RESEARCHED & PROMOTED THE TOPIC OF THE FEMALE MERMAIDS & YOU GOT HUGE RESPONSES TO THAT, YOU BECAME THE FOREMOST AUTHORITY OF MERMAIDS IN THE WORLD. THAT WAS QUITE AN ACCOMPLISHMENT – WHO WOULD HAVE EVER THOUGHT YOU’D GET INTO THAT FIELD?

AT THE SAME TIME YOU DID THAT – THOSE SAME FIVE OR SO YEARS – I WENT INTO A FIELD NEVER ANTICIPATED, BECOMING A COUGAR AFTER 30 YRS OF CELIBACY & A PHOTOGRAPHER OF THE ‘WORLD’S MOST BEAUTIFUL MEN.’

WHAT A DEPARTURE WE BOTH MADE FROM OUR USUAL MATRIARCHAL WORK, YET IT WAS MATRIARCHAL, BUT DIFFERENT. WE FOLLOWED OUR HEARTS.

I AM NO LONGER ‘TURNED ON’ OR STIMULATED BY THE SUBJECT OF BEAUTIFUL YOUNG MEN. IN FACT, MY WEBMAN THINKS MY LATEST BOOK ON THEM SHOULD BE PROMOTED & I COULD, FOR THE FIRST TIME, MAKE SOME MONEY OFF MY BOOKS. BUT I TOLD HIM

“I CAN’T STAND THE THOUGHT OF THEM. THEY REPULSE ME.”

I COULD NEVER IMAGINE THAT I WOULD ENTER THAT FIELD, & ONCE IN IT, COULD NOT IMAGINE EXITING IT, BUT I DID.

ARE YOU STILL INTRIGUED BY THE MERMAID ISSUE OR DONE WITH IT?

THERE WAS A BOOK THAT WAS FAMOUS (PUBLISHED 1976) – GAIL SHEEHY’S “PASSAGES.” I READ IT. I JUST LOOKED HER UP – DID NOT EVEN KNOW CELEBRATED SHE IS.

AFTER THE WRITING OF THE ‘NEW RELIGION’ I WAS UNABLE TO EVEN THINK ABOUT THE SUBJECT, COULD NOT GO ON ANY MORE. SO THERE IS ONE DOOR CLOSED, BUT ANOTHER DOOR OPENED.

FOR A WHILE YOU HEARD MY LAMENTS ABOUT BEING BURNT OUT & FIGHTING DEMONS – THE LATTER IS PROBABLY THE MORE PERTINENT ONE – JUST BECAUSE I WAS FINISHED WITH A SUBJECT I CAN’T SAY I WAS ‘BURNT OUT’, ONLY FINISHED. BUT THE LATTER YES, I EXORCISED THE DEMONS OF xxxx SO THEY HAVE FOR NOW LEFT BOTH OF US ALONE – I AM SPRINKLING HOLY WATER THROUGH MY HOUSE DAILY TO KEEP THEM AWAY.

DURING THIS EPISODE I ALSO SPENT MY EVENINGS WATCHING VIDEOS ABOUT SAINTS INSTEAD OF SECULAR SUBJECTS, & THIS HELPED ME GET MY BEARINGS. LAST NIGHT I ENDED UP WITH RAMANA MAHARSHI, THE GURU OF NONDUALITY, WHICH IS WHERE I LEFT OFF YEARS AGO – 2007 – HIM BEING MY ‘LAST GURU.’ I DID DO A COUPLE OF CHAPTERS FOR THE RELIGION ON HIS ZEITGEIST BUT I DID NOT PLUNGE INTO IT COMPLETELY.

AS OF LAST NIGHT I HAVE PLUNGED IN. I SPENT THE NIGHT WATCHING HIS VIDEOS, THEN SPOKE TO HIM FOR A WHILE (CHANNELING HIM IN HEAVEN), AND TODAY I SPENT FOUR HOURS IN MEDITATION, MUCH INSPIRED BY HIM.

I HAVE NOW FIGURED OUT – I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN – WHAT EXACTLY GOD MEANT WHEN SHE SAID ‘QUIT THE CELIBACY, STOP SUFFERING & HAVE FUN.’

I SPOKE ABOUT A THING ON MY WEBSITE CALLED ‘LEELA’ OR ‘LILA’ IN THE YOGA PERSUASION, BUT I WAS NOT FULLY PRACTICING IT, BECAUSE I SUFFERED SO MUCH WITH THIS ‘HAVE FUN’ BUSINESS, IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE. I WAS PLAGUED BY ANXIETY FIGHTING THE LOW MINDEDNESS OF THE WORLD, THE FLESH & THE ONSLAUGHTS OF THE DEVIL, ESPECIALLY AFTER I FELL IN LOVE.

NOW THINGS ARE QUIETED DOWN & I WILL TRY AGAIN. LEELA IS WHEN GOD ENJOYS LIFE ON EARTH. IT MEANS WHEN WE PERSONALLY EXPERIENCE LIFE, OUR CONSCIOUSNESS OF GOD IS PRESENT, GOD IN US DOES EVERYTHING, EVEN DRINKING ALCOHOL & HAVING SEX. THIS IS WHAT I FOUND SO DIFFICULT, TO DO THESE HUMAN, PHYSICAL THINGS WITHOUT AT SOME POINT FALLING TO THE LEVEL OF THE FLESH MENTALITY. I WAS UNABLE TO KEEP MY MIND ON GOD – WHICH WOULD BE LEELA – & I FELL INTO JEALOUSY, CONFUSION, YEARNING, DESIRES & LOW MINDEDNESS, ALL OF WHICH CARRY TURMOIL, MISERY & ALL THE TORTURES WE KNOW.

I THINK THIS WAS THE CHALLENGE GOD WANTED ME TO MASTER. I HAD TO ENJOY THESE ‘PLEASURES’ WITHOUT ATTACHMENT, WITHOUT YEARNING, ALLOWING THEM TO HAPPEN OR NOT, NOT CHASING OR PURSUING OR FEELING PAIN WHEN MY PLEASURES WERE NOT MET (MOST OF THE TIME I WAS FRUSTRATED, REJECTED OR USED, NOT LOVED, SO IT WASN’T FUN.) SO THERE’S A HUGE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN EXPERIENCING LIFE IN THE FLESH, THE MIND IN THE FLESH, OR EXPERIENCING THE SAME THING WITH GOD UPPERMOST IN THE MIND. BUT IS THIS EASY? IT’S ONE OF THE GREATEST CHALLENGES I’VE EVER MET, BUT I THINK I AM PAST FALLING DOWN & CAN MAINTAIN THE HIGH CONSCIOUSNESS NOW. I WILL TRY.

AFTER I FELL IN LOVE, MY GREATEST FEAR WAS LOSING xxxx BUT WE HAD A MYSTICAL MARRIAGE (2019) & THAT DISSOLVED–BIT BY BIT–MY FEAR. NOW I CAN ‘LET HIM GO’ BECAUSE I KNOW I WON’T LOSE HIM, SO I NO LONGER HAVE ‘ATTACHMENT’ & WITH IT ‘ANXIETY.’ AND SO NOW I AM FREE. BUT HE ISN’T AS HE IS YOUNG & DOESN’T UNDERSTAND. THE TABLES MUST NOW TURN. I LET HIM GO BUT HE HAS TO HOLD ONTO ME. I CAN CONCENTRATE ON GOD, NOT HIM, WITHOUT LOSING HIM, BECAUSE IF HIS LOVE IS TRUE & DEEP, HE WILL PURSUE ME & HOLD ONTO ME BUT I DON’T HAVE TO HAVE THE FEAR I USED TO. MY FREEDOM FROM ATTACHMENT GIVES ME THE OPPORTUNITY TO PRACTICE ‘LEELA.’

THAT IS THE ‘PASSAGE’ I AM GOING THROUGH NOW.

ANOTHER THING. I HAVE BEEN CONCERNED ABOUT FINISHED MY WORK. ONE OF THE THINGS I CAN DO THAT FEW PEOPLE CAN IS THE INTERPRETATION OF DREAMS. I AM REALLY GOOD AT THIS, I WANT TO LEAVE BEHIND BEFORE I DIE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE OF THIS SUBJECT, IF I DON’T, ALL MY KNOWLEDGE WILL BE LOST. THE ONE BOOK I PUBLISHED IS BUT LIKE 5% OR LESS OF WHAT I KNOW, I COULD FILL AN ENCYCLOPEDIA WITH ALL THE SYMBOLS I UNDERSTAND. BUT I HAVE BEEN WORRYING – WHEN WILL I HAVE THE TIME TO DO THIS? ESPECIALLY WHEN xxxx COMES TO LIVE WITH ME, I’LL BE BUSY WITH HIM.

I HAVE NOTICED, HOWEVER, THAT I LIKE WRITING DOWN MY DREAMS EVERY TIME I HAVE THEM, WHICH IS ALMOST NIGHTLY. IT ISN’T HARD AT ALL, NO MATTER WHAT – I HAVE MANY THOUSANDS OF DREAMS ON AUDIO TAPE & ON THE COMPUTER. SINCE I AM WRITING/INTERPRETING THEM DAILY THEN WHY NOT JUST POP THEM ONTO MY WEBSITE? AND THE MOST IMPORTANT ONES, ON OUR BLOG? WHY NOT?

BECAUSE I FEARED I MIGHT NOT HAVE TIME TO MAKE ‘FORMAL’ BOOKS & PUT THEM INTO BOOK FORM & PUBLISH THEM, BUT THIS IS A WAY OF DOING IT. JUST DO IT ‘AS IS’ – GIVING COPIOUS EXPLANATIONS OF THE SYMBOLS WITH EVERY DREAM INSTEAD OF MAKING A ‘DREAM DICTIONARY’ WHICH WOULD BE MORE TEDIOUS. THIS WAY I GET IT DONE. THAT’S MY PLAN NOW.

AND ALSO I WANT TO FINISH EXPLAINING MY LIFE BEFORE I DIE. MY WEBMAN JUST FINISHED EDITING BOOK 2 OF MY LIFE, THIS HAS TO BE ILLUSTRATED & PUBLISHED. THEN I’LL DO BOOK 3 & THAT SHOULD COVER IT. I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE BEHIND WRONG ASSUMPTIONS, DELUSIONS & THE HALLUCINATIONS PEOPLE HAVE ABOUT ME. I NEED TO LEAVE BEHIND MATERIAL THAT EXPLAINS MY LIFE AS WELL AS IT CAN BE EXPLAINED. IF I DON’T, THEY WILL BASTARDIZE IT. I ESPECIALLY DO NOT WANT THE LOW MINDED TO TURN MY LIFE INTO A PORN / SEXUAL / GOTTA’ HAVE A GIMMICK / LOW MINDED / MATERIALISTIC SYNOPSIS. MY LIFE IS THE GRACE OF GOD & THIS IS WHAT MUST BE EXPLAINED IN ABSOLUTE DETAIL. EVEN WHEN THEY DO DOCUMENTARIES ON MY LIFE OR ASK ME QUESTIONS, PEOPLE ARE SO LOW MINDED, THEY INEVITABLY DRAG MY LIFE DOWN.

AND SO, AS FAR AS WHAT YOU SAY, I BELIEVE YOU’LL FIND A ROAD FOR YOURSELF SOON, AS ‘NATURE ABHORS A VACUUM’ & WE ALL NEED SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT, WORK ON & LOOK FORWARD TO, SO I KNOW YOU WILL FIND SOMETHING GREAT TO DO.…BEST WISHES, RASA

From xxx—Good morning, Rasa. It sounds like you have a good plan overall, and had indeed gotten some great insights, particularly about Leela versus attachment. That makes a lot of sense overall, and I wish you the best.

I will note that different audiences will likely require different versions of the message tailored specifically to such audiences. Marketing is important. Most people, to one degree or another, seem to want to know “what’s in it for me”, so that will of course need to be addressed. Try to figure out what makes a particular demographic (or psychographic) group “tick”, as it were, and then try to appeal to that while still remaining accurately on point about the topic at hand…..best of luck to you both, and have a nice day…..xxx

from William Bond

I think I have said everything I wanted to say about Mermaids, Rasa I don’t think I have any more to add.

I agree it is easy to stay spiritual if you remain celibate and live in a cave somewhere but a lot more difficult if you live a life of an ordinary person. But I think it is important for spiritual people to mix with normal people. The reason is that if all spiritual people hide themselves away, then they don’t pass on the knowledge they gain through communicating with spirit, to the world.

Unfortunately most people cut themselves off from spirit and take more notice of what other people tell them than listening to unlimited wisdom of the ONE. As Jesus said, “when the blind led the blind both fall in the ditch.” This is why the world is in such a mess.

The trouble is that the more we communicate with spirit the more we move away from conventional wisdom and that causes problems. We see this throughout history, when anyone challenges conventional wisdom, people don’t like it and fight back.

Years ago I did like your stance on, “I strip for God”. This is what Jesus tried to do, bring the spirit into all aspects of life. And you are doing the same with your relationships with younger men. It is also what we find in Taoism and Tantra of bringing spirituality into our sex-life. The idea of cutting spirituality away from sex, is why it causes so many problems for people.

The spirit inspires us to do these things but once we are on the path we have to keep in contact with spirit because as we both have discovered, when we lose that contact, things start to go wrong. That is why recently I have been trying to do more meditation……William

HI FRIENDS

THANKS FOR THE GOOD LETTERS.

THIS NIGHT I PRAYED FOR ‘LEELA’ & GOD SHOWED ME A BIG DREAM. YESTERDAY I DREAMED ABOUT “FREEDOM” WHICH I THINK MEANT “NONDUALITY.” I WROTE IT DOWN BUT DID NOT YET INTERPRET IT. AND THIS LEELA DREAM I HAVE NOT TYPED YET OR INTERPRETED. I WILL DO THE WORK ON THE DREAMS, PUT THEM ON MY SITE & PRESENT THEM TO YOU FOR OUR BLOG ALSO. AS I SAID, I THINK THIS IS THE WAY FOR ME TO GO FOR THE TIME BEING, AS IT’S WHERE MY MIND IS.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO A POINT, THAT xxx BROUGHT UP. xxx, I HAVE A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE TO THE QUESTION WILLIAM RAISED – AS TO WHAT HE SHOULD DO NEXT. YOU FORGET ONE THING. WE ARE NOT MACHINES, WHICH POP OUT ON DEMAND WHAT THE WORLD WANTS. TO BE HONEST, WE CAN SAY “FUKK THE WORLD, IT’S GOD & MY HEART THAT COUNTS” BUT AT THE SAME TIME, WE SAVE THE WORLD WHEN WE FOLLOW OUR HEART!

IT IS OUR HEART THAT TELLS US WHAT’S RIGHT FOR US TO DO AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT IN LIFE, BECAUSE WE MUST SERVE / LOVE OURSELVES AS WELL AS OUR NEIGHBOR. IF WE GO AGAINST THE GRAIN OF OUR OWN SOUL OR DESIRE, WE ARE ACTUALLY DESTROYING OR SACRIFICING OURSELVES (MARTYRDOM, WHICH IS SOMETIMES THE RIGHT THING TO DO, BUT NOT ALWAYS!) — & IT DOES NOT HELP THE WORLD. HERE IS HOW AN ARTIST WORKS & HOW ANYONE MUST WORK: FOLLOW YOUR HEART, & YOUR ART WILL HAVE MEANING. IF YOU PAINT WHAT THE PUBLIC WANTS, (AS YOU SUGGEST TEST THE MARKET & FULFILL THE NEED) & YOUR HEART IS NOT THERE, THE ART IS NOT ALIVE WITH YOUR INNER EMOTIONS – NO MATTER HOW SKILLED IT’S ‘DEAD.’

I DO NOT RECOMMEND WILLIAM TEST THE MARKET & FULFILL THEIR NEEDS, I BELIEVE THE WAY OF MEDITATION, IS THE RIGHT ONE. AS HE GETS HIS MIND ON GOD, THE UNCONSCIOUS, THE DEEP SOUL, WILL SOONER OR LATER WELL UP IN HIM & GIVE HIM A VISION, AN UNDERSTANDING & A DESIRE, & THAT IS WHAT HE FOLLOWS. FUKK THE WORLD. THIS IS THE ‘BROAD HIGHWAY TO HELL’ WHERE EVERYONE GOES, FOLLOWING EACH OTHER, LOOKING AT STYLES, FASHIONS & TRENDS, REPEATING CLICHES, ETC. THEY THINK THEY’RE BEING ‘SMART’ BUT IT’S THE WISDOM OF THE WORLD, THEY’RE ALL FOLLOWING EACH OTHER & REALLY NOT DOING ANYTHING ORIGINAL. (I AM NOT SUGGESTING NONE OF US BORROWS FROM THE PAST, WE ARE ALL PRODUCTS OF WHAT WENT ON BEFORE US EVERY DAY IN EVERY WAY. BUT WE MUST BE CHOOSY AS TO WHICH PART OF THE PAST WE MIGHT BORROW FROM.)….. RASA

Xxx I REREAD YOUR LETTER & I SEE YOU DID STATE TO WILLIAM TO FOLLOW HIS HEART PRIOR TO SAYING TEST THE MARKET, SO I AGREE, IT ISN’T WRONG TO UNDERSTAND A MARKET, JUST CAN’T BE THE MAIN THING.

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