College of God & Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized
Rev Bitch Admits Truth
But here’s where I really knew she was off the wall. She said that Jesus DID NOT LIVE LONG ENOUGH, He died young when He was not ‘fully developed spiritually’, & she, Judy, was older than Jesus & MORE EVOLVED. She put herself greater than Jesus, this spiritual failure who couldn’t even begin to build a church with help – what a preposterous woman!
One thing she had in common with the Putz, she used false flattery. When it was time to give me a touch, she wanted a trip to Vegas or whatever, she told me I was the ‘Princess of God.” When the told me about the land I should keep paying for -{it was West}, she told me
She browbeat me into believing it. Was it her, or my Voice? Finally I humbled myself & decided to listen to her {bad choice, never give up your inner voice, it will protect you, whereas with Judy & any other person, they’re looking FOR THEIR OWN INTERESTS}……..I then heard a Creaking Iron Door closing – an ominous sign – & my Inner Voice said,
“Here I am, here is the Power of God I have. Promise me you will use it to help humanity”,
ME: OK thanks lots Rev. Judy, I still have more to say about this relationship, like some of the things I did, the time in Vegas, the two death curses & how they played out, & also your disclosures to me of what happened to Putz after I left him, to be continued.
College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized
WOMEN EXIT PURGATORY
Saint Padre Pio had the Visible Wounds for 50 years
Purgatory Ascensions – 5-6 Women Ascend – 1-20-21
Saint Gertrude the Great had the Interior Divine Stigmata & was the ‘Herald of Divine Love’
Can’t recall where I was but somehow women began to emerge – Women I’d been hobnobbing with. The first wore the most beautiful thick light beige fur coat, full, beautiful. I kept touching it, admiring it, asking her if it was ‘real’ hoping it wasn’t because it felt somewhat like seal. {We don’t want baby seals clubbed on the head, we don’t want minks, ferrets & muskrats being skinned alive}. Eventually I decided it was not a real seal, so it was good.
Then another woman emerges with another fur coat & it’s the exact same color but different texture, & others emerge as well, all in those thick beautiful fur coats. I think is there some kind of fad going on, one gets a coat like that & the others imitate?
*(MEANING: This sounds like Souls in Purgatory getting their ASCENSION ROBES or MANTLES MADE OF LIGHT. The thick fur is equivalent to FEATHERS {fur & feathers are made of the same material, like nails & hoofs} – And the color beige is a sort of LIGHT GOLD which means LOVE.
CLOTHING is often a symbol of the LIGHT that emerges from Souls that they ASCEND WITH.
Jesus’ BODY & BLOOD gets souls out of Purgatory – Offer up or say the Holy Mass
For a while I quit saying Holy Masses as I wasn’t getting any dreams about Souls – I felt discouraged. But then the last two days I had dreams about them being impoverished, needy, asking for help. One Soul came to my door, I tried to CLOSE IT but he pushed & I realized I knew him – let him in. Then looking at my front yard I saw HE HAD BROUGHT ABOUT 20 PEOPLE all sitting in a circle – all impoverished, hungry, needing my help! These were SOULS. Somehow one enterprising person got into my mind & showed me others, that I must help!
In the dream of yesterday I saw about a dozen people on a high tower, like 12 floors in the air – there was SMOKE, they screamed & screamed for someone below to save them, apparently the stairs or elevator were not accessible. Then somehow a FIRE ESCAPE appeared & I saw them climbing down.
These were Souls in the fires of Purgatory – fires represent great pain. Someone creating a FIRE ESCAPE was me saying the Holy Mass, & it alleviated their pain or got them out of dire straits.
This of course reassures me how important that little 5 minute Holy Mass is – & I also say like 10 minutes of comprehensive prayers that include Souls. The important thing is that my mind is concentrating on them & I have Love in my heart when I do these things.)*
John Alexander Dowie was a Protestant, But He Believed in Purgatory. One day he TOOK ME THERE.
College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized
Greedier than Greedy Chapter 4
Chapter 4 Rev Judy Swaggart
As you can see, or guess, I’ve given my characters theatrical names according to who they were to me. And so, to have a name like this means she was of God but flawed or tainted. Yes, she had a faith healing & ‘channeling’ Power. God gave her it, I wanted these Gifts, so I felt like this,
“OK, she is not without fault. But she has something I want. How do I get it? By being a loyal, devoted disciple, by supporting her, doing what she wants & needs, & then I’ll learn & grow.”
I felt that if I JUDGED her – that is, considered her UNWORTHY in some way, it was my human perception, not that of God, God had OVERLOOKED whatever was wrong & gave her Spiritual Gifts, & I had to do the same – or else I would be saying God was wrong!
Yes, by human standards, not only to me but others, Judy was OBNOXIOUS. Here are some of her faults I had to tolerate:
PETTY THIEF: {Stole items like tissue holders, silverware, from the diners she worked in. Stole towels from the motel we stayed at together in Vegas – told me ‘they expected people to do this.’ I was outraged as I was paying for that room, they would have blamed me. And later, as usual, she projected onto me her own sin, she made this strange statement,
“I think you have memory lapses. You pick up things like from restaurants & you forget you did it.”
What a bunch of crap! Reminds me when my Mom stole her boyfriend’s charge card & said I did it! {She tried to make me sign it – it was Steinbeck’s in Trenton, New Jersey – but I refused.} I was not with him with his pants down – you were, Mom!
So Judy’s other fault I would call her:
FALSE ACCUSER: Besides the petty thievery, she accused me of making her heart act up, putting some kind of curse on her {what nonsense, her heart was bad, always looking for someone to blame, I did nothing whatsoever to harm her. I never gave her any stress – she gave me stress.}
EGO MANIACAL: When we walked down the street together, she said the men trailing or stalking us by car were LOOKING AT HER because she emanated power, haha. She was a woman about 55, dumpy, five foot nothing. You know what I looked like when I was young, so need I say more?
Second, an example of her delusional ‘Queenhood’. She said again & again, she was the ‘Queen of Love’ – her heart was the Heart of Hearts, it was pure, golden, great. Now we are at a costume jewelry store & I must get baubles for my dancing act. I get some items that cost a pretty penny – like $100. She is GREEN WITH ENVY. To appease her, I MUST buy her a tiara for $100. because SHE IS THE QUEEN! She accepts this gift, any decent person would have told me to save my limited funds for what was needed.
GREEDIER THAN GREEDY: Woe is me. I let her know I had a PENSION {from the death of my husband, it amounted to about $325 a month} – enough to live on. I would help her build her church by producing a NEWSPAPER – which I would pay for – {called One World Light} & promote HER WORK. This would make me happy. I set to work writing & creating, she just sat around. All she had to do for the apt was collect rent from the tenants – she did nothing else but rarely worked as a waitress for some cash.
Within a short time – after publication of the first paper costing me $200 she decided THIS WAS NOT THE RIGHT WAY TO GO. What was the right way? What did God want? She said,
“The way you can best help our Church, is to go on the road & dance & send money to me. Oh & yes, let me keep your pension, let me cash the monthly check. You are young & if I was young, I would go out & dance & raise money for the Church. This is what God wants.”
I was downhearted. I wanted to quit show business to serve God, to get closer to God by a contemplative life. I did NOT enjoy being a sex object – nothing but that. The work on the stage, for a woman like me, was DEMORALIZING. It was another form of ABUSE. You show your body, men sneer at you, they hit on you, when you are alone, your life is in danger – it was many times. It is overall a DEPRESSING LIFE, not fun at all. Being with God, thinking of God, serving God, to me was FUN. For her to SEND ME ON THE ROAD, by myself, no protection, was unconscionable – I protested, she insisted. In the end, I did it with a heavy heart.
So Rev Swaggart & I were at cross purposes. My purpose was to serve God by serving her Church, learn & grow spiritually. Her purpose was to deprive me of my pension & get whatever else she could out of me, by sending me on the road. It was a money grab, that was all. She wanted money more than to build the Church – she never used one penny of it for that.
It didn’t end there. I was with her for six years. After two years I refused to fork over my pension. I reclaimed my daughter from her Grandma {husband’s Ma}, she & I moved in with my Dad in New York – I had expenses for daughter & Dad. But she made me pay for many other things, like example, I was permitted to call her long distance once a month. For this a donation of $100 was required for an hour of ‘receiving God’s Light’ from her. {Not a joke, she really did have the Light & did at least once get me off a curse Mr. America, Harold Poole, had put on me.}
Second, I had to pay for all her Vegas trips where she knew she would hit some type of jackpot, twice she channeled what the number would be, but in the end was one digit off. These trips I had to donate a few hundred bucks.
When we were together on one of my visits to L.A. we went to a restaurant {I don’t have to tell you I paid, she never paid one penny for me for anything} & on return to her car, it had a ticket. Who do you think had to pay the $40.? Me of course, it was somehow MY FAULT she got the ticket!
Oh, another to me, strange item. You think she’d share with me her food in the refrigerator? No indeed, I had to buy my own! And she, of course, helped herself to it.
Another item was the land. She bought some land in a desert area {it had a well she said} where we were some day to BUILD OUR CHURCH. So who had to pay the monthly payments for the land? Me of course. It was $160. a month. And who got the land when she died? Her sons naturally. {Understand that during the time of my service to her money was worth a lot more than it is today – in 1971, when we got started, by 2021 multiply 6.43 for each item & you know in today’s value .}
I also had to pay for her birthday bash. I ordered the cakes, the food, for fifteen of her friends & relatives & disciples. Not one of those friends or relatives contributed a dime. No one even offered.
That night proved a turning point for me to exit the next day. During a channeling session she was in a trance, & while there, she said her main goal in life was to secure her sons – Tommy & Timmy – all she cared about was them, the land she had purchased was for them. {One time I had just given her a donation, Tommy walked by, she said to him did he need any money?} No mention of the Church, just the sons, which reminded me of Monster Mom doing everything for my brother – all money for him, all privileges for him, I was just a slave.
A tidbit about her sons. Timmy was sweet & loved her, but Tommy resented her. When she preached to him he told her to ‘shut up.’ Why did he hate her? When he was a kid, she robbed him. He’d saved up all his nickels & dimes for a long time. And one day she needed some bread & took it. And because he hated her she was always trying to please him. – but it was too late.
The next day I packed up & called a cab. Rev. Judy tried to physically stop me from leaving by standing in my way. She had put on her silver body suit – which she used to try to sweat off fat – she looked ridiculous. She had a disciple sitting on her couch, was posturing in front of her, telling her she had to protect herself from my ‘bad vibes’ with her suit. That was ridiculous, I just left & checked into a motel.
That was the first time she put a DEATH CURSE on me. Why? Not because she loved me, because she wanted my money. A 19 year old black male stalked me, was planning to rape & kill me, but God foiled it. I knew Swaggart had done it when I called her after the fact, the sound of triumph was in her voice. I shall explain this incident later.
SHE WAS LAZY: OK, her heart was not good, she had had an attack. So she could not work as hard as before the attack – but she did nothing but watch TV, lying on the couch. I have had more than one heart attack, my heart is damaged, yet I do what I can – like yesterday I worked seven hours writing a long article, today I am doing this. I do lots of other work, whatever I can manage – she didn’t even try. All she did was lie there moaning & talking about her bad luck & all kinds negative shit. Yes, it wasn’t all bad, sometimes she channeled, – I awaited that eagerly.
SHE WAS A LIAR & DECEIVER: I suggested one time she might apply for welfare, the blew her stack. How dare I suggest a great woman like her would apply for welfare?
Another time I was at the airport & saw a beautiful necklace with a heart. It cost about $20 which would be $60 in today’s terms. I gave her the necklace.
Now I’m at her place – she’s lying on the couch watching TV as usual, & she sent me on an errand to her spare room. There I was to get an item out of a drawer.
I went to that drawer & found two things of interest that proved what a punk she was. One, there was a welfare application for which she was denied, & two, she had taken my heart necklace to a jeweler to have it appraised. It saddened me that they appraised it for less than I paid – you know how thy rip you off at airports. I did not say a word.
SHE LACKED DISCIPLINE: I exercised every day for 45 minutes, had weights. She got a machine. That fucking machine for the first time gave me cellulite. You remember those stupid jobs in the 70’s where you put your ass in a sling, & it vibrates? You had to rent them, that’s how she wasted money. She thought it would get some of her fat off. So for about a week I tried this & it did nothing for me but break up flesh to make cellulite. {I stopped & it eventually went away.}
The other thing she liked to do was eat. She could not control her appetite. When I bought her birthday cake she went to the fridge & tasted it before the party. When we were in Vegas she found a cheap buffet, ‘all you can eat,’ you know the rest. At five foot tall she weighed about 180. At 5’7″ I weighed 127. This came at a price, I was a fruitarian until Rev. Bitch talked me out of it.
I can’t think about her any more, must get my mind on something else. To be continued………………………….1-19-21
College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized
Saint Martin Luther King Jr
Saint Martin Luther King, Jr
from Rasa Von Werder: Saint MLK is one of my constant companions, who blesses me, guides me, protects me every day for the last 10 years. I pray to him in times of need, such as losing things – he always answers – the thing I lost is at my fingertips. He once REPAIRED MY CAR – no joke – there was a dent. I laughingly asked him to fix it, the next morning, dent gone. So my advice, love him, promote his Holy Work & PRAY TO HIM. He will answer!
His stature in Heaven is great, he was a martyr. He knew he would probably be assassinated but did what he had to do, just like Our Lord. His Soul is Great, radiating tremendous Light. I feel his Holy Presence………………………………………………………………………………….
from Wikipedia:
Martin Luther King Jr. (born Michael King Jr.; January 15, 1929 – April 4, 1968) was an American Baptist minister and activist who became the most visible spokesperson and leader in the Civil Rights Movement from 1955 until his assassination in 1968. King is best known for advancing civil rights through nonviolence and civil disobedience, inspired by his Christian beliefs and the nonviolent activism of Mahatma Gandhi. He was the son of early civil rights activist Martin Luther King, Sr..
King participated in and led marches for blacks’ right to vote, desegregation, labor rights, and other basic civil rights.[1] King led the 1955 Montgomery bus boycott and later became the first president of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC). As president of the SCLC, he led the unsuccessful Albany Movement in Albany, Georgia, and helped organize some of the nonviolent 1963 protests in Birmingham, Alabama. King helped organize the 1963 March on Washington, where he delivered his famous “I Have a Dream” speech on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.
The SCLC put into practice the tactics of nonviolent protest with some success by strategically choosing the methods and places in which protests were carried out. There were several dramatic stand-offs with segregationist authorities, who sometimes turned violent.[2] FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover considered King a radical and made him an object of the FBI’s COINTELPRO from 1963, forward. FBI agents investigated him for possible communist ties, recorded his extramarital liaisons and reported on them to government officials, and, in 1964, mailed King a threatening anonymous letter, which he interpreted as an attempt to make him commit suicide.[3]
On October 14, 1964, King won the Nobel Peace Prize for combating racial inequality through nonviolent resistance. In 1965, he helped organize two of the three Selma to Montgomery marches. In his final years, he expanded his focus to include opposition towards poverty, capitalism, and the Vietnam War.
In 1968, King was planning a national occupation of Washington, D.C., to be called the Poor People’s Campaign, when he was assassinated on April 4 in Memphis, Tennessee. His death was followed by riots in many U.S. cities. Allegations that James Earl Ray, the man convicted of killing King, had been framed or acted in concert with government agents persisted for decades after the shooting. King was posthumously awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom and the Congressional Gold Medal. Martin Luther King Jr. Day was established as a holiday in cities and states throughout the United States beginning in 1971; the holiday was enacted at the federal level by legislation signed by President Ronald Reagan in 1986. Hundreds of streets in the U.S. have been renamed in his honor, and the most populous county in Washington State was rededicated for him. The Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial on the National Mall in Washington, D.C., was dedicated in 2011.
College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized
The Utmost Putz {Charlatans}
Continue Chapter 3 – Section 2 From Charlatan to Charlatan
the Utmost Putz
The thing about Putz NutOn – I’m not sure if I explained properly why he might have seemed ‘weird’ or bizarre. I also want you to know that while I was with him, until the end, I was always cordial, affectionate {I had sex with him on demand–I stalled him for months but finally had to break down & give in. My big excuse was I saw him as a revered mentor rather than lover, haha – translation: You revolt me as a man} & was even defensive of him. I did not see him as I do now, for the time being, I felt I needed him {will explain the good he did me}on some level, in some way {to be explained later.}
Today, I see the characters of my life 100% apart from how I felt when with them. As I outline their mistreatment of me, you might feel ‘fukk, if someone treated me that way I’d hate them’ – she must have felt & now feels hate. Not at all, & this is important. Had I felt pure hate I would have acted completely different than what I did.
For example: My Monster Mom, at bottom I always had respect for her & was trying to show her I WAS WORTHY OF LOVE, WHY PERSECUTE ME? It never worked, the more I tried, the more I fell into her snares & she betrayed me until I ran to the other end of America. When the docs said she had 6 months to live, I went to Church daily {I was in Providence RI at the time}, received Communion for her & prayed one hour after that. I also promised God ‘Don’t let her go to Hell, I WILL PAY FOR HER SINS.} Does that sound like hate? I forgave her & everyone who ever hurt me & still do. There were two things holding up my thoughts, one, as my Mother, it was impossible to hate her as that would be MORTAL SIN, & second, I held the erroneous thought that somehow, some way, it was MY FAULT she hated me, if only I could do better, I might win her over. This stayed in my mind as I did not, could not, understand her disposition toward me.
Today, I see Mom & all others with a SENSE OF HUMOR because it doesn’t HURT any more. As long as it hurts, you can’t tell it properly, all you can do is cry. But when the pain stops, it’s like looking AT SOMEONE ELSE – not me, & this is how it was. I see the humor, even the fun of it, what a story, what a gas. {I might have to add here that this attitude became imbedded at the time I entered Yogic ‘nonduality’ in 2007. I told my Guru ‘Swami G’ ‘I can’t get what my family did to me out of my mind, the pain haunts me’, she said,
“When you enter Nonduality the pain fades away – it’ll feel like it happened to someone else.”
And so when I describe Putz you probably think I had utter contempt for him & treated him like trash. No indeed, I was totally respectful, acted like he was my Dad {except for sex} & I had to look up at & obey him {he was only about 10 years older, I was 24-25, he never told me his age but kept saying he was older than he looked – trying to give himself authority} and the entire first year I treated him like I was ‘in love’ {I wasn’t}, showed signs of jealousy, looked to him for answers, followed the practices he recommended, etc. My attitude today is I know he was insane, whacked & weird, so I describe him as I do.
The second year – things changed. He stayed away more, came home later, sometimes out all night. On his side he knew he had control over me & now it was on to other pastures, play the games with new victims.
On my side, his absence gave me the time to practice the ‘mind over matter’ stuff he taught – I perfected. I spent hours a day in self hypnosis, to master myself, stay on the fruitarian diet {all raw, fruits, seeds, no leaves, all raw} which was the hardest thing I ever did. I lifted the weights {as usual} every day, & I kept myself at one point up all night sewing pretty dresses {he did not allow me pants!}, sleeping a minimum – lost gobs of weight, looked incredible, & most astounding of all, I reached the still, small Voice inside me – which became, of course, my NEW MASTER instead of him – I HAD REACHED GOD! This was 1971, I remember it as the greatest day in my life up until then.
Now what made him bizarre? His ideas, most notable, he knew HOW TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD. He repeated this many times to myself & others & I recall only vaguely, way down the road he gave some cockamamie answer, so stupid I can’t recall what it was. But the fact that he DWELLED on this subject showed he was having delusions of ultimate power.
The other things he spoke about nonstop, to everyone was DIET. He insisted we were originally apes {true} & that apes ate nothing but fruits {not true, both chimpanzees & bonobos eat meat; Bonobos more so. Although they’re peaceful at home, they especially like to munch other monkeys}- & so the diet of all diets is fruitarian, & if we practice it we can CURE ANY DISEASE & remain healthy always & live a long life. People would listen to him go on & on, but no one he brainwashed ever did it, that I know of, EXCEPT ME.
{I followed this diet for over one year, segueing into it bit by it. I never ate meat after meeting Putz, long after him, but when I left him Rev. Judy Swaggart talked me out of it. How I wish I had stayed on it longer & could keep it today. It really is the fountain of youth. I saw a lady on You tube who’s practiced it most of her life – at 70 she looked 20. Myself, I was the thinnest I’d ever been; my beauty contest weight was 136-37, on this diet I was 127 & looked terrific. Starving naturally but looking good.}
OK back to the Putz. I said he was bizarre for what he believed & talked – most of it talking, not walking. But he did succeed in many ways on many levels, that I shall now explain, so he wasn’t STUPID & he had SKILL – the method to his madness.
He always managed to get either FREE living space {being an apt manager} or office space – an office he could use for monkey business & sleep in at night when he wanted to {often before I came along.}
When I met him he had an extended office at the Sunset-Vine Tower in Hollywood, owned by a bank. This was a beautiful place & he had three rooms, one of which he later had me use. How did he get this with NO MONEY?
He met the young vice-president of the bank – a blonde guy, I met him once. This male was related to the President of the bank, I think it was his Dad. When Putz met him & started his gab, some sort of problem was on boy’s mind, & Putz persuaded him he could cure it. He used hypnosis. I don’t recall the details or even if he told me them – but he had this boy hooked for life, & got these offices for FREE. I know he slept there at night as he used to call me at 12 am – {the phones were free also} – deluding himself the cleaning lady was after him & kept coming closer & closer to clean {again, free services went with the office!). He was constantly complaining how they turned off the air conditioning at night – there was no air {windows did not open} & I had an air-conditioning unit that you filled with water – did not have to be in a window – I gave him, which helped somewhat.
One tiny thing comes to mind which I laugh at, it’s insignificant but funny. He got a POTATOE for a small desk there, which grew the most beautiful VINES – no expensive plant, just a potato, & it was LOVELY.
So when I met him he had this extended office, which later the Vice-President demoted to a two room space, lower down, not the 6th but the 3rd floor {apparently the higher you are the more prestigious} & there he set me up, in the back room with the windows covering the whole wall – his front room had no windows but I think he felt good that I was behind him & he had me ‘cornered’ where I could not go in or out without passing him.
It comes to mind how he begged out of me the use of my white Corvette {no I did not buy it myself, it was my late husband’s, 1958 manual steering which I loved} & lo & behold, what did he need it for? To whore around of course. I was sitting at my desk right there by the window when I saw my corvette stopped in the driveway behind the bank. There he sat with the hippie girl that had visited our office several times. He was regaling her with this or that – they sat there like 20 minutes. It upset me that he would use my car that way! She was an airhead, wore hippie style clothes & beads, & pranced near me saying we should start a harem for the Putz, we belonged to him. I shuddered. What could he be talking to her about? The fruitarian diet?
Later on, of course, he WRECKED the car {I had never had an accident with it}. He comes in ranting & raving how some guy side-swiped him – all his fault. {It didn’t occur to me at the time to even see if he had a driver’s license, he probably didn’t!} but he managed to find another guy to fill the fiberglass up for $75. I didn’t loan him the car after that.
Another time it was 5PM, my witching hour when I had to leave the office for him. Just as I opened the door – he was settled in the back – in walks my BEST FRIEND, Yolanda Tugues, a raving Puerto Rican beauty with hair below her waist {we danced in the same private club in Santa Monica, my first gig, ‘The Ball’ & other places} I was stunned that I couldn’t even ask her what her business with him was. Later I did ask, & she said he was offering her A FREE APARTMENT.
Where the fukk could he get a free apt? I thought about it & recalled the black lady lawyer he introduced me to. This lady had bought a huge, cavernous apt building of sorts – it was like nothing I’d ever seen. I walked in with Putz, there were dozens of people here & there, sitting about, lounging, there seemed to be no doors on any place, no privacy, & the building looked more like a cave with rounded arches than a normal house. All these people were complaining but I could not figure out why, they seemed to be begging for something – what? since Putz never explained things to me straight, I figured it out later.
The lady friend had bought this place for a good price because it was filled with SQUATTERS she could not get rent from – & she was baffled how to be rid of them. She met Putz who told her he would help. He then went to the building & ingratiated himself with the residents, mostly young people- so he worked it both ways.
It was here that Putz would give a FREE APT to Yolanda, why? No reason except to get into her pants. I hope he didn’t, I feel her Guardian Angels protected her.
Now other things he got free or conned. During the year he was working on me full time I ate more FREE FOOD in restaurants & went to more dinners at friend’s houses than I had ever done in my life before or after.
First, there was this sweet Armenian little old man & his restaurant – that was my favorite, I loved the food, the pita bread & all. He said he was eating there one day when the old man doubled over with his bad back so bad, he screamed. Putz went over to him, straightened him out & cured him. He got free meals after that. so Putz took me there countless times, the old guy always greeted him like a celebrity.
Then there was the ‘Café of Opera,’ where singers & fans ate lovely dinners -there was a piano – the singers, all men – would get up & loose their lungs on the audience from time to time. I loved it because I love opera, the meals were great – all FREE. I don’t recall how he got into the owner’s graces, except that he was a FAILED opera singer & Putz – he was great at building up people – convinced him he’d soon be tweeting at the Met.
There is an odd anecdote. I had been seeing Rev. Swaggart at the time – she was giving me lessons in spirituality& faith healing {she hated hypnosis, felt it was wrong, only her ways were right}. The owner of the Café had a PROBLEM. His wife refused to have sex with him any more! This was, of course, I guessed it, because he was having affairs with the waitresses, one in particular. She knew it, but he told us he only did it after she refused him sex – he lied.
And so, since Putz & I were both hypnotists, he asked if he could help her get over her frigidity. Putz couldn’t hypnotize her – he was not trusted by all – so I got the assignment.
OK, I recall hypnotizing her, don’t recall what I did to get her right, just that I did. And soon after that, days, she said she felt completely different & was able to have sex with hubby.
Now Rev. Judy said I pulled a spiritual light OUT OF HER, millions of years old {one of her famous sayings, of course, all Lights are millions of years old, energy is infinite} & I BLEW THE LIGHT -whatever the fukk that means. This was one of her issues – she imagined she was the center of the spiritual Universe, whatever I did that was good spiritually came from her, I had nothing, only she had ‘the Light’ – I took Light from her & gave it to other people – naughty me, I should stop that.
There would be many changes when I moved in with her, good & bad, we shall broach later.
Now other things con man did. He had a string of friends & we did not visit at odd times, it was always dinner times. I remember this sweet & wonderful middle aged woman & her husband – how often they fed us. She always had home made bread. She would read my newspaper {a free paper I called Enlightenment, that’s what I did in the office}, which I asked her to critique, but sadly, I was too proud to accept her corrections. She said I was wrong in the use of the world ‘palacious,’ that it was ‘palatial’ & I denied I was wrong, just my hurt ego.
We also visited a beautiful fancy beach hotel. They had a FREE BUFFET. I’d pay for two drinks, & for a couple hours of pleasant sitting & entertainment {a band} we feasted on free salad-style food. All I remember is Garbanzo beans & delightful rolls.
Then there was this oh-so wonderful motel right on the beach in Malibu – no con games there, I paid. {I had a pension, not much, I shall discuss later.}
It had a PORCH off the room, facing the beach & water. Naturally Putz got the bright idea of pulling out the mattress – Queen sized – through the sliding glass door to fukk me there. But the owner must have seen this before, he approached us & said no mattresses on the porch – they would soak up the humidity & be damaged. Putz tried to resist but had to give in. He was nasty when someone opposed him. I was embarrassed.
Speaking of building people up – Putz knew a guy who ran for Mayor. I got to know him, went to his house, he visited the office many times & when I went with Rev. Judy he visited us there several times as well. Putz & Judy had once been friends.
This guy built himself up as a big businessman, haha. He lived off his Mother – they had a mansion, but it was hers. He also sang – terribly. Putz told him he would be the next Mayor as well as a future Caruso – I heard him repeat these lies a gazillion times in variations, so Mr. Unaware loved seeing him.
Finally when the election came, future Mayor got 200 votes. Rev. Swaggart – who I promoted for a minor office, got 16,000. {She had me carry a poster on her, give out flyers, on the street.} She had a religious ‘Dr.’ degree, so putting that with her name on the ballot I think rocked it.
The second year Putz & I were together, as I said, he was losing control. Once the Voice appeared, he got shook up, & his personality changed. He came more & more of a ‘spoiled brat.’ For instance, before he went out, he made me change my outfit again, & again & again, about 7 times. I was exhausted, but my personality is that if it isn’t a sin, & you’re my mentor, I do as they ask. I’m not a marshmallow, I have my own gifts & ways, & one of mine is obey until you get what you want & need out of this, then leave. I left my abusive family as soon as I had the path, I left Putz when I could, ditto Rev. Swaggart. All three were peeved at my departure – will explain later.
He pulled his bitch routine at a coffee shop. We get our food, he finds fault with it, in fact, he sends it back three times, each time scowling & ranting what’s wrong with it. Finally the cook comes out, a big guy carrying his BUTCHER KNIFE & asks what the problem is. No more problem, no more talk.
To show his versatility, again, & chutzpah, he put on his hypnosis show at the Knickerbocker Hotel. I did the promotion, as usual, several times for these shows he had me hand out flyers on the street – to the chagrin of a movie manager when I gave out hundreds to the line outside – he came out to grabbed them out of my hand. Rev. Judy came along & said it was a ‘good show’ – the Putz came by, saw the movie man grab my flyers, me acting sheepish, & grabbed & twisted his wrist. the boy cowered, his anger at me? I figured after they went in the theater, they dropped all those flyers to the floor & he had to clean them up.
Anyway, for this show, I did some fancy footwork. I called up all the dance studios in the area & managed to get two Chinse people to do a FREE SHOW. One was a beautiful lady who did a swan dance. The other was a male who did an act as a female in beautiful robes – he was good too, & I awarded them trophies, which I had engraved with something like ‘best talent’. I danced also, in a white feather bikini while Putz played Boogie Woogie on the piano -the audience cheered & insisted I get the last trophy, there were three & no one else to get one, so. And where had the audience come from? They had not come to see our show, it was a huge birthday party there from friends of Putz, an extended family of about 50 – so that was our first audience.
Later he did other shows where he would put that pin through his hand & make an instant repair – I never watched, but he had done this act for men’s clubs several times, like Shriners or Fire men or something. He had newspaper articles on it.
There was another show for which I have an anecdote. I had been working at The Classic Cat, which was once the Jerry Lewis Club, which was the biggest nightclub in Hollywood, on Sunset Blvd.
Don’t recall how I got the idea to put on a beauty contest, myself doing all the work completely for free. The name of the contest, “Miss Queen of Starlets,” appropriate for Hollywood.
I did EVERYTHING. Putz was supposed to be involved, he went down to where the U.S. Navy was anchored to get the men to fill the place up {a stupid scheme, the place needed no extra audience, there were always lots of people, but I think he was scheming to get an ADMISSION FEE which he would keep.} Can’t think of any other reason he’d want to do it.
I got the CONTESTANTS by calling several model agencies in the area. Got about 8 females from that. Then the ones who worked at the club – about 5 of them – also entered. I got the FLOWERS, in fact, got two florists to donate completely free, beautiful roses. Sadly, the second one with the roses I had to pick them up but had no time or transportation – lost that chance {Why didn’t I ask them to deliver? Was afraid they’d be mad I guess}. But one black lady owning a floristry came herself, built an arbor to present the queen, lined it with flowers & also had a huge bouquet of red roses. That was a WOW.
The trophies – I bought them, {the club paid me nothing, I asked for no reimbursement} had them engraved with one Queen & six Princesses.
Then the Press. I tried hard on that, one man from ‘Rogers & Cowan,’ an advertising agency, came, & offered me a free room in his firm to do whatever I wanted – he said my work was amazing. I never took him up on the offer.
I don’t even know who got the Queen a spot on a TV show, but they did. Now the MC- he ghosted me. So I was the temporary MC & I told some jokes. Finally Putz arrived, & one of his lady friends, a great person, was a professional speaker, she got up & ran the show. It was beautiful, I was so proud of it all. One girl who was a perennial beauty contest candidate, only got Princess. She was so mad she refused her trophy – she had won 98 contests before – so she said.
I discovered truth I should have anticipated – control your contest – tally the votes yourself – keep the info on the contestants under wraps. The girl they picked worked at the club, totally average, flat chest, not as good as the others – I had no idea how that happened. And second, John Lamb, who had produced a movie on me, ‘She Did It His Way’ & his buddies, stole the list of the candidates names & phone numbers.
Now the anecdote that stands out. Finally I discuss the events of the day with Putz. What took him so long to arrive? Why no bevy of sailors?
He described his sojourn to the docks. He got to meet a Commander & he gave him the lengthy spiel. The Commander was to marshal these boys into our club, bottom line, they would have a good time.
The Commander listened patiently & these were his words,
“I am responsible for the lives of 25,000 men, & YOU ARE JUST A PIMP.”
As Putz explained this his face looked perplexed & he knew that he had been corrected, his tail between his legs. I was proud of the Commander but said not a word. This incident knocked Putz down a peg in my eyes – he was a failure, he was delusional. (By the way, I knew Putz had been in the military I guess in the U.S. but he said so little about it, it must have been dismal. I can imagine him without his turban & hair buzz cut. No speeches allowed, no conning anybody out of anything, just carry your bundle, do pushups & obey. Maybe he got a dishonorable, who knows. It had to be Army as he’d never enlist.}
HE TRIED TO KILL REV. JUDY.
When I got back with Rev. Judy she told me this tale. She was driving down the Highway when some force kept pushing her to the left, toward the cement barrier, again & again. She called out to God to save her & saw an image of Putz meditating, trying to make her have an accident. He was no Boy Scout. This is pure evil, because all she did to him was influence me, not worth her life. On the other hand, I will tell you about the Rev that will make you wonder – when we get to her part. Twice she tried to kill me when I left her, I was saved by God. She was no Girl Scout either. That’s why I call this chapter ‘From Charlatan to Charlatan.’ She was of God, but so was Jimmy Swaggart.
PUTZ OPPOSES MICKEY HARGITAY
When I met Putz I was just ‘winding down’ an affair with Mickey Hargitay. He had proposed marriage but I said no. I felt it was not in my destiny. Yes, I liked him a lot, but when you get married, the whole course of your life is changed. I always sensed, at every turn & opportunity, some paths I would have to take, even though they were ‘bad’ in the human sense, some roads I would have to turn down although they seemed perfect. Such was the road with Mickey – everything about him seemed good, everything about Putz seemed weird, but ‘stumbling blocks lead to stepping stones.’
As I thought about Mickey over the years, many things would NOT have happened that should have. For instance, my most important quest, over all, was my relationship with God. With Mickey that would have been curtailed. I would have been fairly happy in the HUMAN sense, but would I have endured the Gurus who would CHISEL ME DOWN TO SIZE, make me the statue in God’s image & likeness?
All of life is a Guru, the people we meet are gurus, certain ones are KEYS in our experience, they open up avenues within us that to us, are ‘the way, the truth & the life.’ They introduce us to our inner selves.
What would have been my life with Mickey? He was wealthy, he was of show business, me as his wife would have been an immediate connect in people’s minds to Jane Mansfield. I would have got jobs, maybe in movies, TV, I could have been a star as she was. But would I have found God, seen her FACE TO FACE? Probably not. Would I have been the Stripper for God? The only one in history? Not on your life. I might have listed weights continuously, but would I have been the Progenitor? Probably not, because I would not have started entering contests in 1972, I would have had bigger fish to fry in Hollywood.
Mickey had taken me to the Pink Palace. I was driving down Sunset right in front of it, when I looked up & saw a shooting star. Make a wish. Do you want to marry Mickey? No! I exclaimed.
But I must add this. If he was a man, not a mouse, he would have tried harder t keep me. all Putz did was discourage me from calling him – I used to call him regularly. Finally, he called, feeling insecure. He asked strange questions. Like was I in this porn movie? I should be ashamed of myself. I said no, I had never done a porn movie. Bad excuse for calling me.
Then he said people told him ‘I went out with black guys’ – that was to embarrass & shame me. Indeed, I had been dating James Brown, but that punked out. So I denied it.
Had he been more manly he would have insisted on seeing me & talked me into marrying him. But I guess he was too timid, shame on him. So Putz won out, he several weeks later went to Vegas & married a girl named Ellen, who he told me was ‘just a baby sitter.’ so his love for me wasn’t strong enough. I shall do more on him later, channel him.
Again to reiterate, why do we associate with ‘bad’ people or those who are mean, or those who abuse or exploit?
With Monster Mom I had no choice until a time I shall explain later. With Putz there were certain things I wanted to learn that he intimated he knew – things concerning mind over matter, the mystical realm & I knew he knew hypnosis.
He was a bad egg, but the Sergeant in the army also is, he kicks the beans out of us to make us grow. Putz forced me to do things I would never have done had I not met him.
Had it not been for Putz, I would not have met & studied with Rev. Judy. my spiritual evolvement would have been curtailed. And so, in life, we often have to taste the bitter chalice, not the sweet one, the nasty, evil person/Guru, who teaches us humility, poverty, breaks us down where we have to reach out to God.
With Mickey Hargitay I suspect I would have been ‘just a star’, like Jayne, not who I became. I would have been devoted to God mostly in privacy, & so, how unusual would my life have been as an ideal, icon or subject? I would be remembered for looks alone – I would not have ministered or ‘saved souls’. Like for instance, I preached in front of the White House on Our Lady of Fatima, this ended the Cold War, the threat of nuclear annihilation – Communism fell. This would not have happened had I been another Jayne. You see I had to meet my destiny? Fatima was designated for me to preach – not someone else, since my childhood – to be explained later.
And so, this evil man Putz NutOn was a stumbling block that led to stepping stones, a speed bump on the road of life, a mistake that leads to a benefit – people laughed at him & warned me again Rev. Judy. So many negative people have been in my life I wonder how I survived, but as the poet said, ‘I have promises to keep, & miles to go before I sleep.’ And I have tales to tell & many about Hell.
I plan next time to begin speaking of Rev. Judy Swaggart – this is exhausting, she will be to. I will ask each character, on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being a demon, what were you? He says, ‘I was a 9.5.’
I asked Monster Mom, what were you on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being a demon? She said 7, but that 7 was directed strongly to those she hated, Dad, myself, the cops she betrayed, etc.
to be continued………………………………..1-18-21
College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Uncategorized
*(DRUG MAN: This sounds like your ex-lover Joe & if it is him, the future is bleak & the conclusions are as you said. This might be how he gets impoverished & desperate & comes to you.)*
But now, you walk with him – it’s the same man, both handsome, both are your boyfriend. This time he has become DISREPUTABLE or a ‘BLACK SHEEP.’
*(KING MAN WHO GETS OFF JUST BY SEEING ME: This is my late husband, Richard Von Werder. We were companions, we never had any kid of sex interaction whatsoever, & he told me all he wanted / needed from me was my COMPANIONSHIP. Because of this sixteen years of companionship he SECURED ME FINANCIALLY – I am reminded of his importance here.
God’s Hand on me Brought Wealth
Dreams Explain why Lover will be Desperate & how He’ll Come to Me – How
People Cursed Me but God Blessed Me & Gave me Wealth
1-17-21- Dreams – Strange Couple – Lover-Drug Man
Yesterday did not have time to write down, my ex-best friend the lawyer, seems to have turned into a drug dealer. He was making lots of money, writing it down on a list, I saw deals for $350 & over $100 on a large parchment which he was noting, a list of the deals of the day. After a bit he covered it with a grey sort of cloth with a straight ‘fringe,’ – the cloth like soft burlap.
He was still working, but this was the weekend so he did this – I sensed he might do some dealing in the evenings also. I thought that if this is what he’s up to, it’ll have a bad end, as sooner or later they all get caught & go to jail. Then he’ll be flat broke because if in jail he won’t go to his job & could get fired. He was also being warm & friendly to me……………..1-16-21
*(DRUG MAN: This sounds like your ex-lover Joe & if it is him, the future is bleak & the conclusions are as you said. This might be how he gets impoverished & desperate & comes to you.)*
…………………………………………………………………………
KAHELL………….I see Kahell, an evil ex, former drug dealer who spends half his life in jail – walking down the street with me hand in hand, he wearing beige & very handsome. The feeling is he doesn’t mind being seen with me in public, isn’t being secretive like he used to. I recall like a week earlier walking this exact same way with a boyfriend who is also very handsome but white. The street is quiet & calm, see no people or cars
*(Kahell: This is lover at his worst. It seems like a continuation of the dream yesterday, where he starts raking in money from drugs.
You ‘walk down the street’ with him twice. This would be a PUBLIC RELATIONSHIP or KNOWN relationship – something IN THE STREET is public, like they say, “Don’t put your business in the street” or “What does the street say?”
You now walk with him, in the dream he has dark black skin. You recall walking with him earlier where his skin was white. This explains something, how you’ll come to be with him again – it answers a puzzle. First, he was of good repute, accepted by society.
But now, you walk with him – it’s the same man, both handsome, both are your boyfriend. This time he has become DISREPUTABLE or a ‘BLACK SHEEP.’
It could be your conclusion – He sells drugs, gets arrested – does jail time. Even though among his peers this is not seen as a big deal – to some people it still is.

Secondly, through this experience he COMES TO YOU, & that is the second reason he would ‘lose face’ or be thought of as Mr. Wrong. He would leave his common-law wifey & child for you – & that would not sit well with his peers. The peers are mostly a bunch of lowlifes, hoods, addicts, losers & such – many are dealers, most users. And so, part one of his being a dealer & doing time would not upset them but part two, where he basically turns his back on the ‘hood’ & homies’ to be with you – that would condemn him.)*
………………………….
THE WINDFALL
Now this couple is in my house, don’t know who. His girlfriend seems like a nice person.
They seem to be doing some kind of business. After a while, I go to my room – they had been using another room not far, but this time they are in my bed asleep, she far to his right, not close, on her right side, the sheets are the ones on my bed this day, with dark ornate patterns in burgundy, beige, black & pink.
*(STRANGE COUPLE: This seemed like my ex Lover Joe & wife Mandy, but at close inspection I see it is MY FLESH & MY LOVER. The hint is first, it’s MY BED & second, they are not PHYSICALLY CLOSE – which we are not. And yet, this says WE ARE TOGETHER which means we are joined, united, we are One. {Where two are joined together, let no man put asunder is Holy Wedlock.})*
I was planning to go to sleep but now I can’t, unless I go back to the guest room where they were & change the sheets. Now they both wake up & are going out to do some of the things they were talking about on my bed – looking to buy a house.
*(THEY WERE ASLEEP THEY BOTH WAKE UP & ARE MAKING PLANS: Asleep means ‘unaware’ – awake is to become aware. Joe & I become aware we’re to be together & we’re eager for happiness.)*h
There’s a feeling at some point they went to my room & it was situated in the exact space where my room was on Van Buren St. – when I was 8 years old, overlooking the library in Newark, New Jersey. I never dream about this so it’s unusual.
*(ROOM ON VAN BUREN: When you dream about a location you have to know what that location signified. What happened there? In this spot was when Marius Bernotas, my Mom’s new lover, moved in with us for room & board – a child was born. After this place in the city, there was a great move, that signaled the end of my Dad, the end of their marriage, the beginning of a completely new life. Therefore, I conclude this could herald the breakup of Joe & Mandy & a new life beginning for Joe & me.)*
They had been sitting there talking animatedly about business, making money, & purchase of a house. They were planning to be happy {they had experienced money troubles & these seemed to be over, where they could be happy for the first time}. It seems money was coming their way & my vague thought is it drugs? It seems like a windfall.
*(WINDFALL MONEY-NEW HOUSE & HAPPINESS: This sounds like Joe & I planning happiness – A new residence for him, in a house {mine}- I am wealthy so if I support him, he would be as well. He doesn’t have to work or worry, this is a WINDFALL or SUDDEN WEALTH.)*
Then somehow, they get me involved, it’s hard to understand. They – she mostly – are inviting men for is it sex? But it’s ‘no touch’ sex. This man comes in to just look at me. I’m lying on my back, he in front, the lady friend supervises this, & just by looking at me he gets off – not masturbating – just looking. Then he puts some papers back into his briefcase in his lap & the session is over – she doesn’t know it but I know it, as he’s done this exact same thing a dozen times before. So I don’t have to do anything, & somehow, she or they make some money.
*(STRANGE BUSINESS, I GET INVOLVED: The reason I get involved in this ‘strange business’ of ‘making money’ & a man ‘invited in for no touch sex’ explains how I got wealthy. The ‘I’ here is the spiritual me – I was celibate for God, God gave me good luck, chose this excellent man for me who was willing to be companions, no sex, & he treated me with utmost respect & left me secure.)*
At one point there’s a beautiful, plain but classy silver {antique looking like 50’s} purse sitting on my bed. Was it mine or hers? I look inside & there’s a bunch of stuff, cluttered, & on top, a fairly large cross {about 4″ tall}, silver, with large rhinestones across it both ways. I then realize it’s hers, I compliment her saying she has good taste. The purse looks like a light grey-shiny snakeskin & has a gold clasp on top.
*(SNAKESKIN, CLASSY ANTIQUE PURSE: This purse explains your FINANCIAL FORTUNE. The purse is filled with CLUTTER but on top of it is that SILVER/DIAMOND CROSS. The clutter is your BAD LUCK or CURSES people put upon you – Your Mom disinherited you, so did your first husband. No one helped you financially, no man or woman, people like Rev. Judy Swaggart & others used you for money. But ON TOP OF ALL THIS there’s that beautiful Cross, which says,
“People cursed you, but in the end {silver & gold is permanent} I blessed you mightily. The evil they gave you was nullified by my Grace.”
THE LIGHT GREY SILVERY SNAKESKIN HIDE the purse is made of: In INDIA, yoga, SNAKES ARE GOOD FORTUNE, THEY ARE THE HOLY SPIRIT.
The GOLD CLASP of the purse is like God putting a HINGE, CLASP, SEAL on your fortune, where no one can take it from you – no bad luck or reverse ’till the end of your life, you have GOOD FORTUNE.
I might add that there are two other windfalls before I die. One is the gas & oil under my property, & two, the movie or TV series they will make of my life. This also is from the GRACE OF GOD.)*
One other scene. The man who was just looking at me again & again, I find out he’s important – some sort of a King from another country, maybe a King of finance. His skin is pure white & he’s completely bald. He is sitting now near me, & I feel a slight warmth about him that I did not before – because I now see his importance, & I brush my face against the side of his head to show affection.
*(KING MAN WHO GETS OFF JUST BY SEEING ME: This is my late husband, Richard Von Werder. We were companions, we never had any kid of sex interaction whatsoever, & he told me all he wanted / needed from me was my COMPANIONSHIP. Because of this sixteen years of companionship he SECURED ME FINANCIALLY – I am reminded of his importance here.
The papers going into his briefcase could be his will & what he left me in it.)*
………………………………………………….
College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized
The little boy loved the white crème-filled puff pastries. Mempho asked,
from Rasa Von Werder 1-15-21
I STRIP FOR GOD Part 3 Chapter 2
Chapter 2 I STRIP FOR GOD Part 3
“Mephistopheles”
All characters described are fictional. Any resemblance to persons
living or
dead is coincidental.
{Mempho for short} She was Monster Mom’s best friend. If Mom was president, she was vice-president, & when Mom died, she filled her office. I shall begin shortening ‘Monster Mom’ to MM.
Mephistopheles came into our life when I was a child – she older, wiser & a bully. One of my first memories of her was I was 7 – she a teen. It was Christmas, we had, as usual, several Lithuanian visitors. This wonderful lady, blonde, lovely, young, was visiting us with her little son, he being about 5, the spitting image of Jon Provost of Lassie, as cute, innocent & sweet as he.
Myself, siblings & this boy were sitting at the kitchen table enjoying pastries, while his Mom & mine were in the living room sharing the local news of the day.
The little boy loved the white crème-filled puff pastries. Mempho asked,
“You like these?”
He said yes. She said,
“Then have another one.”
The boy was full but since it was asked, he did eat another. Then Mempho said,
“Eat another.”
He said,
“I’m full. No thanks.”
She said,
“You said you like them, eat another.”
He refused, but she insisted, she forced him to eat about SIX PASTRIES until he threw up.

Flash forward about three years. A 3 year old girl, whom I adored, my siblings & I are at the kitchen table, with Mempho there again. The baby loves the buckwheat pancakes we made. Mempho asks her,
“You like the buckwheat pancakes?”
She says yes. Mempho says,
“Then eat some more.”
“No, I’m full,”
“You said you like them, eat some more.”
“No!”
“EAT SOME MORE!”
She insists, again & again, & forces the child to eat. I am cringing. Finally the baby throws up.
We’ll begin the channeling with this. I say,
ME: Mempho, why did you force those children to eat so much they threw up? What sort of a reward or pleasure did this give you?
MEMPHO: It made me feel strong. They were small & weak, I felt big. I made them do something they did not want to do, I used force, they tried to resist, it made them unhappy but they did it – I prevailed.
ME: Are you a bully?
MEMPHO: Bully is my middle name.
ME: Why did you obey my Mom when she turned against Dad & told everyone in our group to hate him – why did you do as she said & turn away from him?
MEMPHO: Why not? He wasn’t living with us any more, he meant nothing to me. I knew which side my bread was buttered on, loving him in the face of the Monster would have been a challenge. I didn’t care if I hurt him, I was indifferent.
ME: OK, now for the hard questions. Why do you pretend you don’t remember the past – when we were kids – & you go crazy if I ever bring it up & command all those under your influence to never discuss the past with me. In fact, you have prevented some family members from speaking to me for many years.
MEMPHO: To discuss the past opens a can of worms. We all know what went on – we abused you. I am in denial of that, I don’t want anyone to know, I will deny each & every incident that ever happened. I deny what I do today against you, I pretend to love you, & I deny the past & the present wrong doings – {like making sure you were not invited to the most recent family wedding. It’s obvious I cared not for your feelings.}
ME: You get hysterical when I even broach the past, without accusing you of anything, just saying ‘I had a dream about Jimmy {my brother}’ & you began to scream to your spouse that I was attacking you. Why the hysteria?
MEMPHO: Because I am hysterical about exposing the past, I cannot, will not, discuss it, as I cannot explain it away. And so I pretend I remember nothing – I wasn’t there – I was away at school or working – & every claim you make, I say, is a lie.
ME: OK, now we get to the nitty gritty. Why do you want to hide what happened? You know how forgiving I am – Mother tortured me & I forgave her, prayed for her every day before her death, for six months. All you have to do is admit how you guys treated me, say you’re sorry, ask for forgiveness & it’s yours. But you refuse. Why not come clean?
MEMPHO: It isn’t you forgiving me that I care about – it’s the public. Even if you forgive me, if the public knew I was part of the mistreatment of you, they would think less of me, I’d be the villain. That is what I’m trying to prevent. I want to be respected, admired & loved {things we did not give you!}. I don’t want to be seen as a cruel, uncaring, nasty person. Look up to me, don’t look down on me, is what I want.
ME: On the scale of cruelty, who was worse, Brother Dearest or you?
MEMPHO: I was, because I was a leader, he was a follower. He was a pathetic clown, I was more intelligent than he, I did not have to be as mean as I was.
ME: OK. I was the youngest until one more was born. You guys, family & associates, began to abuse me concertedly {by a pact I shall describe later} at my age of 10. My brother, yourself & other members of the group were all older, I was an easy target. This went on the entire time I was home & reached beyond when I left. Now what did you guys think would result from your treatment of me? Conversely, what hopes did you have for yourself, for Brother Dearest? What did you imagine for each of our futures?
MEMPHO: I can tell you what I saw for myself. I imagined, & still do, that I am superior to most people, & for no real reason, just pride. I saw myself becoming very rich, whatever way it took. I partially succeeded in that effort as I put all my heart & mind onto it, I’m not dumb & some of it came to pass.
I always felt like a great woman, as no one ever put me down, I was empowered, praised, treated fairly, supported & encouraged at home. With each accomplishment I praised myself & felt greater things would come. As most young people I had fantasies – ‘Great Expectations’ – most of them did not come true. I told you I would write a book about myself & it would be a best seller, but I never did. I felt my life was special, but compared to some others, my life was not. I met a couple famous people, had affairs, but they weren’t super famous, like a President or Arnold or Sylvester Stallone, no one you could write a book about. They were little stars & small affairs & nothing unusual happened. I told you no one would want to read or see your life because that’s what I was hoping, & that is my greatest fear – that people would listen to you & believe you.
About your brother. I knew he had faults but I only magnified his good points – I felt that if MM {your Monster Mom} & I propped him up, he could become a success. But this never happened. His Mom did all for him she could have done. We kept thinking,
“Any day now, he will succeed.”
But his success was limited to what others did for him or gave him, he did not initiate anything great or big. He got by on the efforts of others. In other words, he was a loser, a passive player on the plateaus of life. Of course, I never say this, I always praise how great he was – that is the family policy.
On you, haha. In my mind, when we were young & we made fun of you, spat on you mentally & emotionally, you were the scapegoat – we ran you off the cliff. We did all that could be done to demoralize you, which means destroy you. Did we expect you to land on your feet at the bottom of the cliff, pick up, walk away, & start a new life?
As for my imagining what you would become, I figured you would probably lead an ordinary life, get by with an average husband, work an average job & get nowhere. I did not see you rich, or famous, I couldn’t see how – as you seemed not to care about wealth or status. I just saw you being ordinary & myself becoming great. I did not anticipate what your life became in my wildest drams – never dawned on me you could be anything.
ME: Mempho, today, I have got a lot of accomplishments done. How do you wrap your head around these & come to the conclusion that I am not great, not worthy of admiration, not worthy of status? Because I know that’s how you feel, so explain how you do it.
MEMPHO: I have mixed feelings about your work & ‘accomplishments.’ To the degree that society approves of you, I approve. But where you are considered notorious, an adult trade worker, I want no kindship with you – that is why I’ve never invited you to my house, as you know, I fear someone in my circle or worse yet, my job, would see you & know we are close. That would bring discredit upon myself & could even compromise my job. Probably no harm would come out of it, but I am paranoid.
I have mental gymnastics to perform. Every time you do something ‘great,’ let’s say, write & publish another book – in my mind I must demean it, think why it’s unimportant, irrelevant or even scandalous. First, I think, well no great publisher accepted it, you did it yourself, which anyone can do. I don’t see your ability to write, or create, as meaningful, because I don’t want to. I don’t see most of your subjects as important or meaningful because you are not accredited as an academic or expert in any field, & so, society does not recognize you as having done anything great, & so I also agree, you have done nothing great. Each book, in my mind, gets dismissed.
You ask why is it important that I dismiss your accomplishments? Because, & this is CRUCIAL, so listen, to give you CREDIBILITY, ADMIRATION, APPLAUSE OR HONOR denounces what we did to you – that we convicted an innocent child, who grew up to be this. The more esteemed you are, the more villainous we seem, the more disdain you get, the less guilt we suffer.
But on the other hand, you were also a strip teaser, & a ‘pornographer’ {although you did no sex in your videos, society thinks you did} & that makes you a Pariah in the eyes of many – & this JUSTIFIES our treatment of you. Because if you have any moral taint or sin inside, it must have been so in the first place, when you were young, & so beating you up wasn’t so serious.
Now if you had gone into the academic world & become a professor & did books, & were good in the eyes of society, we would have little defense for abusing you. But you getting into the adult trade more or less takes us off the hook, you understand? Because then you’re the bad guy & every sin is projected onto you, so what was done to you {as a child} might have been deserved. In other words, the seeds of evil might have been there, a criminal in the making.
ME: Yes, I do understand Mempho. OK what did you really think of my Mom, & why did you obey her in evil? How bad were you inside?
MEMPHO: No, I was not as evil as your Mom. I just went the easy route, the path of least resistance, whatever rewarded me the most & challenged me the least. Had I stuck up for you the way you used to stick up for us, she would have let me have it, too, so I did the ‘beggar they neighbor’ routine.
What did I think of your Mom? She was in power, she put me ‘next in charge,’ I obeyed for the benefits. Did I admire her or agree with her? For a while I let her brainwash me, by the time I became an adult & got educated, say, 25 years of age, I knew she was full of rubbish & I changed my ways. I also wasn’t that dependent on her. Of course, I stayed loyal to her & still am, I carry her spirit, I do her will.
ME: That spirit thing really bothers me. I thought the persecution would stop when she died in 1979 but it never did. Because of her influence, spirit & will, she influenced many in the family / friend network to ostracize me. So she lived on in you people, although she is now in Heaven, the evil against me, that she left on earth, lives on, does it not?
MEMPHO: It lives on. One by one they died but there’s always someone left with that evil spirit, & that spirit is against you, what she was but no longer is. We carry that negative inside us, no cleansing or closure is made, & that’s how it’ll be until we die.
ME: One last question – your good deeds. Why did you do so many good deeds to me? I can’t list them for obvious reasons.
MEMPHO: I’m not all bad.
ME: I get the feeling, however, that you know I’m on to you & have figured you out. Do you sense this?
MEMPHO: Yes, I was mortified by your latest presentations & know ‘the gig is up.’ I’m shaking with the thought ‘what’s next?’
from Rasa Von Werder 1-15-21
……………………………………………………………………..
College of God & Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized
Mom Describes Herself ‘A Monster’
BEGIN CHANNELING MY MOM, SHE SAYS “I WAS A MONSTER”
Mom: Describe yourself – “I was a Monster” I Begin Writing “I Strip for God
3″ Today
In the many years I have channeled hundreds of people, living & dead, I have never sought to channel my Mother. Was it because I thought of her as she was, abusing me, lying, & did not expect any type of truth or logic from her? Finally, not far back, I decided to give it a try, & the results started, amazed me. {I then channeled my entire family & also got amazing answers, gave them theatrical names!}…..What was astounding is that for the first time since I had known her, she revealed the truth, & in a way that was unusual, when I asked her to describe herself as she was to me, she said,
“I WAS A MONSTER”.
Good start. I shall now ask her questions & they will go like this ME & MOM. {& make sure this is the earthly Mom, you understand, not MomGod, not the GodSelf inside me, the monster earthly Mom. Here we go,
ME: Mom, why did you hate me so much?
MOM: It all stemmed from your disobedience to me re your Dad, I hated him, you refused to hate him – the other kids obeyed – & so I let you have it.
ME: How deep was this hate? What were your intentions?
MOM: I wanted to kill you, which I did in the psychological realm. I destroyed your self-esteem, natural pride {not sinful pride} or confidence in yourself. I wanted you to believe you were UNWORTHY OF LOVE & that no one on earth would love you, male or female. I disturbed your faith in people respecting or loving you & this curse of mine clung to you all your life – at the time I congratulated myself.
ME: And today, I assume you have to speak the truth as you are in Heaven? I somehow thught you would keep denying what you did, but here you are, being honest.
MOM: Those in Heaven, even in the lowest place, cannot lie, they cannot deceive – it’s impossible. Anything you ask me, I must furnish a straight answer, I am under the compulsion & command of the Almighty, whom I cannot disobey.
ME: Why did you have so many abortions? Why didn’t you use condoms or some other form of birth control?
MOM: Because I was in denial. It might have started in Lithuania, where condoms were not as easily available as they are here. But I never used them even in America, at any time of my life. When I had sex most of the time I was not prepared, it was spur of the moment – the sex I had with men other than your Dad. So of course, they took no precautions, they didn’t care.
ME: You say you were in denial – of what?
MOM: That I was having sex or preparing to have it, I pretended I was an innocent virgin or pure housewife. My whole life was a lie, one of hypocrisy, hate, selfishness & destruction toward others.
ME: Who did you destroy besides me?
MOM: The children I aborted, your Dad, anyone I hated who crossed me. Remember the cops I burned after thy helped me get off the animal cruelty charge?
ME: Yes, we’ll get to that later. I see your point. Anyone who crossed you got your revenge. Why did you marshal my brother & another female in our family, to help you abuse me? Could you not succeed all by yourself, given your immense malice? Isn’t it overkill to get them involved?
MOM: Overkill is a good word for me. I wanted to make sure you were ‘good & dead’ & if others helped me do away with you, some of the guilt left my shoulders, & it made it easier for me to do you in.
ME: There will be so many questions. Why you hated Dad so much, why you had so many abortions, why you were so revengeful, why you sought me out to hurt me after I left home, etc. I was haunted by these questions most of my life & it’s strange that now in my old age I know the answers, especially after questioning you & others – it seems God put this weight on my back for a reason.
So let’s begin with why did you hate Dad so much? After all, he cooperated with you, when you were unfaithful, & helped you get four abortions during your time together. Didn’t you appreciate that, his forgiveness & assistance?
MOM: Ha ha. When I was on earth I was what psychology calls a psychopath’. We live only for ourselves, we have no love, no empathy, no compassion. We go by the primitive urges & even worse, the demonic. We are worse than animals, animals are kinder than us.
About love – I never loved your Dad, nor anyone in True Love, it was infatuation. The closest I ever came to love was your brother, as you know. You will ask me more about him later, I know. My love with men was of the flesh, infatuation, then the end of infatuation sometimes brought indifference or hate, depending how they were.
About his forgiving me: I considered that he had to. Divorce was uncommon in our culture, it was scandal, also, as he was a prominent person. He could not expose me or divorce me, besides, he was attached to me as a woman, the services I provided, sex, housekeeping, food, etc. I prided myself I was 17 years younger than he – I was therefore superior in sex appeal – as we got older he became Grandpa, but I was still viable, I always felt superior to him. Even if I had been the same age, I would have felt better than he because in my mind I was deluded as superior to everyone – I had contempt for people, I thought the worst of them, I judged & condemned everyone but myself. Only I was justified in all that I did.
ME: You paint an ugly picture, & you paint it yourself under compulsion from God. But I never saw or understood your evil, I only felt my pain. At the time, what did you feel about my lack of rebellion or hate toward you – I still obeyed you in all but sin.
MOM: I did not sit down & analyze your feelings, my mind was only on hurting you as much as possible, & in this experiment, how damaged were you, I kept thinking.
I noticed of course how all men were attracted to you – moreso than they were to myself & the other young female in the house – & this added to my hate of you. That is why I had to make you believe you were ugly, not always in words said, but in actions, you were ugly, unworthy, deserved no respect, no privileges, no empowerment, no freedom or love. You were to work hard, get no appreciation, no thanks, no allowance, no nothing. You were to be punished for small transgressions – things I didn’t like you did, & I punished you, of course, unfairly, with deliberate cruelty.
ME: It is EXHAUSTING for me to think of the things you did. This interview will have to be more than one day. Let’s get into the Dad issue. After meditating on what happened after you left Dad with Marius – I recall how broke you were – so broke you had to borrow money for food. I recall Dad visiting & you arguing endlessly. Was Dad guilty, as most men are, of not supporting us enough?
MOM: That was a KEY issue. Yes, I had got pregnant by another man again, that child was allowed to live, yes, I moved with that man to the farm – your Dad got a loan from the Priest to obtain it. We lived a complete, hypocritical charade. That charade said that the other man was only there for our support, I did not have sex with him. I pretended the child was Dad’s {we all knew otherwise} that other man would now live with me & the kids, set up the farm into a homestead where eventually Dad would come live with us, be happy, set up a Boy Scout Camp in the woods, etc. That was the delusion I fed you a couple years until you wised up & fell to pieces.
As far as support indeed he did not send enough. He did not make much money, but he could have sent twice as much as he did. Marius & I tried to build a homestead – it was impossible, we failed, we tried for two years of backbreaking work. But even with him working two jobs, getting hardly any sleep, & me joining Brockway Glass at a minimum wage job, we sometimes did not have enough money for food. And naturally I hated your Dad for that & took it out on you.
In your interview with Dad he told you as a man he had the usual reasons: Part of it was selfishness, part of it punishment on me, for rejecting him. But these were his children & he punished them, including you. I let you have it all the more.
ME: OK I will quit for now as this is pyschologically testing. To be continued. Oh yes, what would be your Theatrical Name?
MOM: You can call me Medusa or the many-headed HYDRA. The heads of the Hydra representing (1) Liar (2) Cheater (3) Abortionist (4) Thief (5) Killer (6) Traitor
ME: Thanks Mom, will access you later for more good times. Say hello to Brother Dearest sitting next to you in that rather dim place in Heaven…………1-14-21
College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized
And in another piece, this time from 2017, we covered the story of a small Oklahoma town outraged that the Department of Homeland Security announced they would be conducting chemical spraying operations over the town. In what a DHS press release stated would be to —
Tim Brown
SATAN WORKS THROUGH MEN
HOW SATAN WORKS THROUGH MEN
HE COMES TO ‘STEAL, KILL & DESTROY’ TRUST NO PATRIARCHAL GOVT
DON’T TRUST GOVT ON HEALTH {OR ON ANYTHING}
Government was never designed to protect public health. It was formed to protect the rights of the people and to punish those who do evil. Sadly, for the most part, that is out the window and government has its fingers in every pie it can get them in. With the new push and propaganda to persuade the American people to go along with the CONvid-1984 vaccines, it’s wise to take a stroll down memory lane and understand that government has endangered the public health and doesn’t deserve our trust.
THEY MADE ALCOHOL ILLEGAL, CREATING AN UNDERGROUND INDUSTRY WORSE THAN LEGAL ALCOHOL (Ditto with the drug situation today, making it illegal creates huge industry & a huge prison system for the poor)
– THEN LATER THEY PUT POISON INTO MILLIONS OF BARREL OF ALCOHOL & UNLEASHED IT ON THE PEOPLE
That’s right, rather than come to the logical conclusion that people should be allowed to decide what’s best for them, the federal government decided in an ill-fated attempt to enforce compliance of state-mandated moral guidelines to “save people from themselves”, to contaminate millions of barrels of alcohol with poison to dissuade people from drinking it.
10K AMERICANS MURDERED BY GOVT WITH POISONS IN BARRELS OF ALCOHOL – THIS HAS BEEN SCRUBBED FROM HISTORY
This seems outlandish but it is indeed a well-documented historical fact that, as pointed out in a previous article from TFTP, has been entirely scrubbed from the history books. The reason for this historical purge is quite clear when one reads into the consequences of this repulsive policy. As it has been estimated that due to this state-sponsored poisoning campaign, over 10,000 Americans lost their lives as a direct result from being murdered by their government for the “crime” of consuming alcohol.
Just this one instance alone, arguably the most repugnant atrocity the United States government has ever perpetuated on its own citizenry, should be enough for people to realize they should never blindly believe that the bureaucracy is a benevolent figure acting on behalf of their well-being. Unfortunately though, as we will see this is only one of several examples of the predator class purposefully endangering the health of the public that they had been trusted to protect.
TUSKEGEE SYPHILIS – STUDY PEOPLE TILL THEY DIE – DON’T HELP, JUST EXPERIMENT
Our next example is somewhat better known, yet just as egregious. A project known as the Tuskegee Syphilis Experiment. The Tuskegee program ran from 1932 to 1972, conducted out of Tuskegee University in Alabama by the United States Public Health Service & the Center for Disease Control and Prevention.
The aim of the program was to observe the natural progression of syphilis in African American men, and while entirely unethical was also deeply rooted in the racist ideologies of the pre-civil rights era. Specifically targeting poor and disenfranchised black communities of Macon County, Alabama as unknowing & unconsenting test subjects.
The individuals were coerced into the program after being told they were being treated for having “bad blood”, and promised free medical care. Over 600 men were involved in the study, more than half of which had syphilis yet remained undiagnosed despite treatments such as penicillin already being readily available at the time. They were instead treated with placebos.
For 40 years the PHS and CDC intentionally withheld medical care during this program and allowed this disease to ravage people and communities with zero regard for public safety or basic moral standards. And as a result, as one study noted, has had a long-standing and negative psychological impact on American black communities.
INFECTED THE WIVES & KIDS OF THOSE STUDIED – GOVT DID THIS THROUGH UNIVERSITY. RASA SAYS: UNIVERSITIES WITH THEIR EXPERIMENTS / STUDIES ARE HAND IN GLOVE WITH GOVT. REMEMBER THE ‘SPANISH INQUISITION – THE GOVT WORKED WITH THE CATHOLIC CHURCH – TRUST NO PATRIARCHAL GOVT OR INSTITUTION, INCLUDING RELIGIOUS. ALL PATRIARCHAL ORGANIZATIONS ARE CORRUPT & ILL INTENTIONED. THEY ARE POSSESSED BY THE SATANIC.
The Tuskegee Study abused public trust, and left many infected men to die and led to the infection of several others including wives and children who could have been saved from contracting the debilitating disease. All under the observation of supposedly trusted public health authorities.
ILLEGAL UNETHICAL EXPERIMENTS ON THE CITIZENS – WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT
Dishearteningly, however, this is not an isolated incident. As bad as these repugnant practices from the CDC are, they are not the only agency to engage in them. Since the end of the second world war ushered in the age of the military-industrial-complex, and the creation of the Central Intelligence Agency, they too have conducted illegal and unethical experimentations against unconsenting American citizens.
Official documents declassified over the decades exemplify that these projects are innumerable, and a total disregard for public health and safety is government standard practice, despite their cover-up and assertion to the contrary.
A few pertinent examples include —
NAVY RELEASES BACTERIA ON CITY OF 775,000 PEOPLE, CAUSING ILLNESS & CHANGING THE ECOLOGY OF THE AREA
Operation Sea Spray, a biological warfare experiment carried out by the United States Navy in the San Francisco Bay area in 1950. The Navy released clouds contaminated with the bacteria serratia marcescens & bacillus globigii into a city of 775,000 inhabitants. The aim of the operation was to track the dispersal of biological agents in a major metropolitan area, as initially the Navy believed the bacteria was not harmful to humans. That all changed a week after the initial release however, when residents began flooding hospitals suffering from unknown adverse reactions ranging from the minor to severe. At least one man is officially known to have died. And it has been noted the program likely permanently altered the microbial ecology of the area.
1957-58 BIOWARFARE CHEMICALS SPRAYED FROM GULF OF MEXICO INTO CANADA, TWO CITIES WORST HIT PEOPLE ARE STILL GETTING CANCERS
Operation Large Area Coverage was a mass biological attack simulation carried out by the United States Army Chemical Corps from 1957 to 1958. Throughout the American Midwest from the Gulf of Mexico into Canada, it covered thousands of square miles. The goal of the experiment was to test dispersal patterns of biological agents and involved releasing compounds known to be radioactive and carcinogenic, primarily zinc cadmium sulfide among other harmful bacteria. Tens of thousands of Americans were unknowingly exposed to these compounds. Two cities where these tests were concentrated – St Louis, Missouri and Corpus Christi, Texas – received such heavy plumes of the contaminated aerosols they created an artificial overcast over the cities. To which point military officials deceptively informed the localities that they were merely conducting smokescreen tests. To this day St. Louis residents suffer from adverse health effects allegedly attributed to the experiments they were subjected to, ranging from respiratory illnesses to cancer.
Project MK ULTRA.
This may very well be the most notorious of anything mentioned in this article. Almost anyone may have likely heard of MK Ultra at one point or another. Though it is unlikely that many have done the extensive research necessary to fully grasp the treachery of this infamous operation. Documentation about MK Ultra and its numerous sub-projects is scarce, due to several documents pertaining to it having been ordered destroyed by Director of Central Intelligence Richard Helms under the Nixon Administration. However those that do remain still paint quite grim picture. There were various sub-programs associated with the project that spanned the course of nearly two decades. Some the names being MK Naomi, MK Often, MK Search, MK Delta, and Artichoke, just to name a few. The operations had various goals and aims ranging from behavioral modification, to psychological manipulation, to the development of biological and chemical weapons and much much more. Through their duration the CIA relied heavily on both willing and unwilling participants who were subjected to various methodologies including but not limited to; psychological abuse, electroshock, physical torture, and being subjected to mind altering drugs. At least one death can be attributed to the program, Dr. Frank Olson, who committed suicide by jumping through the window of a high-rise building while on a CIA induced overdose of LSD.
JOHN GREENWALD – HIS WEBSITE ‘THE BLACK VAULT’ – SEE PAINSTAKING RESEARCH
All of the known officially released documents pertaining to MK Ultra and it’s sub programs have been obtained and painstakingly catalogued by the hard work of researcher John Greenwald on his website The Black Vault.
GOVT RELEASED 239 GERM WARFARE TESTS IN PUBLIC PLACES ON U.S. CITIZENS
While one may look to these examples and believe them to be few and far between, in reality that is the farthest thing from the truth. In 1977 an investigation published in the Washington Post confirmed the Military had conducted 239 secret open air germ warfare tests just between 1949 & 1969. These included releasing bacteria in Washington bus terminals and airports, the Pennsylvania Turnpike, and the New York subway system. This is known to be one of the most egregious among them given the sheer volume of people exposed.
VIOLATION OF NUREMBERG CODE
The illegality of these experiments is quite clear, as they completely violate the stipulations of the Nuremberg Code, requiring voluntary informed consent for all research participants.
THEY HELPED GET LYME DISEASE GOING
Some others among these tests worthy of mention are Operation Dew I & Dew II, which were similar to Large Area Coverage in that they released large quantities of zinc cadmium sulfide over several states in the southeastern United States; Operation Big Itch, an entomological warfare experiment utilizing weaponized ticks that is suspected to have contributed to the spread of Lyme disease; Operation May Day, Operation Drop Kick, Operation Big Buzz, & Operation Bellwether, all of which were experiments to determine the potentiality to disseminate biological agents via the release of mosquitoes.
Some Army documents claim the released insects were uninfected. However the Army’s long history of research into yellow fever and dengue fever, as well as the subsequent outbreaks of the viruses in the same public areas used as testing grounds has led some researchers to theorize these programs contributed to the spread of these diseases throughout the United States.
THEY INFECT OUR OWN MILITARY PEOPLE & THEIR FAMILIES!
*****hundreds of military personnel and their families had contracted infections from the pathogens intentionally released on US military installations*****
This suspicion can be plausibly corroborated in that same article from The Post, when then Senator and future Secretary of Health and Human Services, Richard Schweiker (R-Pa.), testified at a Senate subcommittee hearing saying — “It is very risky indeed to assume that any living organism, reduced to germ warfare size and released in a populated area, is ever safe.”. That same report also confirmed that hundreds of military personnel and their families had contracted infections from the pathogens intentionally released on US military installations.
Undoubtedly, the reader may look at these numerous examples and say to oneself “but most of these happened in the 60s and 70s. They certainly couldn’t still be endangering the public on such a scale now”. But this is not the case either. As noted in a previous TFTP article, a recent study from 2018 found that these dismal practices are indeed being allowed to continue. —
“While the idea that the U.S. government would willingly poison its own citizens may seem shocking to some, it is not unprecedented. Earlier this year, a study found that the
PENTAGON CONTAMINED 40K SITES EXPOSING HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF CITIZENS
Pentagon has contaminated more than 40,000 sites across the United States, exposing hundreds of thousands of Americans to dangerous chemicals.
The investigation, which was conducted by ProPublica and Vox, revealed that by testing and disposing of deadly chemical weapons in the United States, the Pentagon has “poisoned drinking water supplies, rendered millions of acres of land unsafe or unusable, and jeopardized the health of often unwitting Americans.”………………………………………..
BIOWARFARE EXPERIMENT ON A SMALL TOWN
And in another piece, this time from 2017, we covered the story of a small Oklahoma town outraged that the Department of Homeland Security announced they would be conducting chemical spraying operations over the town. In what a DHS press release stated would be to —
“gather data that enhances our predictive capabilities in the event of a biological agent attack”. All too reminiscent of disastrous programs of decades past.
At the previous mention of US service members & families also succumbing to these poisons, it brings me to my next point of transition. Despite the dire circumstances alluded to already, the American public are not the only ones utilized as unknowing guinea pigs or sacrificial lambs for the governments unethical experimentations & criminal negligence. Often times it is their own soldiers that are the first to suffer the consequences………………………….
Many of the previous programs mentioned above did involve some degree of testing on military personnel but there have been several specifically dedicated to it. The first that comes to mind is Project112/ SHAD (Shipboard Hazzard and Defense). From 1962 to 1973 the SHAD project was conducted on the number of US Naval vessels to determine their ability to detect and respond to acts of biological chemical warfare. So, naturally, the United States military actually carried out an act of biological warfare against its own sailors.
In 2000, the Department of Defense became required to begin declassifying the documents of the project. These “tests” consisted of exposing approximately 6000 of their fighting men to numerous pathogens via released aerosol. Including sarin gas, and VX. Two of the most dangerous neurological agents known today. Despite numerous veterans filing complaints about the negative health effects they have suffered since, including some developing cancer, the Department of Veterans Affairs still asserts “there is no clear evidence of specific, long-term health problems associated with participation in Project SHAD”.
Sadly enough, this seems to be a regular pattern. As almost identical instances have occurred over the years, particularly in Vietnam with the usage of Agent Orange. While the DoD was comfortable committing war crimes in the South Pacific, they were also totally okay with exposing their own to the same deadly agents simultaneously.
AGENT ORANGE FROM MON-SATAN – POISON NOT ONLY EFFECTED THOSE EXPOSED BUT ALL THEIR PROGENY
Agent Orange was a powerful herbicidal chemical weapon, said to be “one of the deadliest concoctions ever created”, used indiscriminately against combatants and civilians alike in Vietnam. The disastrous effects of this toxin have been suffered by victims and administrators alike, who have not only felt the effects themselves but been witness to entire generations of children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren born with the biological effect as well. Birth defects, heart conditions, leukemia, cancer, just to name a few have all plagued those and the descendants of those exposed to this ungodly weapon of mass destruction.
MONSANTO (MON-SATAN) BIG PART OF BIO WARFARE, IT’S THE MILITARY-INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX
Even more disheartening is the fact that the same scenario is still being played out today in similar fashion. The company contracted to create Agent Orange, Monsanto (arguably one of the most dastardly corporations to ever exist), is still alive and well, still canoodling with government officials to maintain their monopoly, and still poisoning people.
THEY RELEASED POISONS INCLUDING HIV (AIDS) TO THE PEOPLE – MON-SATAN & BAYER
In 2018 TFTP reported the landmark verdict in San Francisco which ruled Monsanto’s Roundup herbicide contained carcinogenic additives. What’s more, internal documents released during the trial proved that Monsanto knew the danger this chemical posed to the public, and covered it up regardless. Furthermore, in the same year the company merged with pharmaceutical giant Bayer AG — which has its own sinister history, including intentionally releasing drugs to the public contaminated with HIV………………………..
AMERICA’S NEWBORN BABIES INJECTED WITH & RADIOACTIVE MATERIAL, GIVEN RADIOACTIVE OATMEAL WITH HELP FROM QUAKER OATS
Newborn babies were injected with radioactive material, mentally challenged children were fed radioactive oatmeal, both in accordance with an experiment carried out by the
MIT, WHERE NOAM CHOMSKY WORKS! {& NOAM CHOMSKY IS ONE OF THE GREATEST DISSIDENTS!}
DOSING PREGNANT WOMEN WITH RADIATION WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT!
UNIVERSITY OF CINCINATTI MEDICAL SCHOOL RADIATING PEOPLE GIVING THEM CANCER & DEATH!
Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Quaker Oats, and the Atomic Energy Commission. Irradiating the testicles of prisoners causing sterility and cancer; Vanderbilt University and the US Public Health Service dosing pregnant women with radiation without their knowledge; patients given high doses of radiation resulting in violent hemorrhaging, cancer, and premature death conducted by the University of Cincinnati Medical School — are but a few examples of the more than 100 experiments carried out on 9,000 subjects mentioned in this 1995 Los Angeles Times exposé.
Overall a total of 4,000 radiation experiments — conducted on an estimated 20,000 unwitting victims had been carried out during this time period, claims the Alliance for Human Research Protection.
As stomach-churning as these revelations are, one must also keep in mind that those cases are only pertaining to radiation experiments. Those numbers still aren’t counting the various other kinds of tests and or mishaps that have occurred and were subsequently covered up………………………….
Other miscellaneous yet no less relevant instances are equally as abominable. One that comes to mind in particular is the ghastly history of eugenics. In short, Eugenics is a ethnically biased selective breeding pseudoscience that originated in the United Kingdom, and found prominence in the United States in the 20th century.
AMERICAN-BASED EUGENICS HELPED INSPIRE THE HOLOCAUST!
The American eugenics movement was even referenced during the post World War II Nuremberg trials as having played a role in inspiring practices of the Holocaust. Though it has been largely whitewashed from modern American history books, Eugenics was openly accepted and practiced in America’s medical establishment for over 70 years, starting in 1909.
LOWER CLASS WOMEN ‘UNFIT FOR BREEDING’ STERILIZED BY GOVT
Having not only played a role in the segregationist policies of the Jim Crow era, but also resulting in the forced sterilization of tens of thousands of American citizens, mostly lower class women, who were deemed “unfit for breeding”. This was carried out not by some fringe group, but as signed and approved by government legislature, and supposedly trusted public health authorities as an openly accepted common practice of the American medical establishment for the better part of a century.
This short section alone doesn’t nearly due the justice of fully elaborating the terrible scope of this obscene chapter of American history. I genuinely implore the reader to read the previous three cited sources to gain a better comprehension it this ignored portion of our not-so-distant past.
WOMEN STERILIZED WHILE DETAINED IN PRISONS
However even more grotesque is the documented fact that these practices have carried over into the modern day in a limited capacity. For years stories have emerged of unapproved sterilizations still taking place, particularly in California women’s correctional facilities. And just earlier this year, a whistleblower came forward from one of Georgia’s immigrant detention facilities alleging that ICE had carried out hundreds illegal hysterectomies against detainees.
To close out this chronicling I would like to include just one last item. In my article prior to this I covered the story of a lawsuit involving the world’s largest vaccine manufacturer suing a man who had claimed to be injured by one of their products. In it, for context I also included quite a bit of history of a number of those entities involved highlighting their history of blatant wrong doing.
For relevancy I would like to shortly expand upon that here, as the history of those kind of activities is not a newly recent one. But in fact stretches back as far as many of these previously mentioned instances. For example, 1955 saw what was known as The Cutter Incident. When in San Francisco a mishap occurred in a laboratory developing the first polio vaccine. As a result tens of thousands of children received a jab contaminated with the live polio virus. 40,000 ultimately contracted the disease, hundreds were left paralyzed, and 10 died. This was a tragedy specifically attributed to human error, that may have possibly been avoided had lab workers scrutinized their colleagues just a little more heavily.
RASA SAYS: TRADITIONALLY THEY MAKE A LOT OF ‘MISTAKES’ & CONTAMINATE VACCINES WITH DISEASES & OTHER VIRUSES. IS THIS DONE ‘ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE’? WHERE IS THE ACCOUNTABILITY WHEN THESE ‘MISTAKES’ ARE MADE? PEOPLE ARE KILLED, DOES ANYONE GO TO JAIL OR GET EXECUTED? NO, THEY BURY THEIR ‘MISTAKES’ – NO JAIL OR PUNISHMENT FOR THEM.
Despite some increases in oversight, this scenario would repeat itself on two more notable occasions. Between 1955 and 1963 once again polio vaccine development saw a horrible mishap occur. Hundreds of thousands of doses of the vaccine had become contaminated with a virus contracted from research macaques, called Simian Virus 40 (SV40) — known to be a probable carcinogen.
RASA SAYS: HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOSES OF POLIO VACCINE WERE CONTAMINATED WITH SIMIAN VIRUS 40(SV40) I WAS JABBED WITH POLIO VACCINE AGE 12. MY MOM WAS SLOW IN GIVING PERMISSION, SAYING ‘THEY ARE EXPERIMENTING ON US.’ WE HAD BEEN THROUGH THE’ DISPLACED PERSONS’ CAMPS IN GERMANY {ON OUR WAY TO U.S. WITH VISAS/PASSPORTS NEWLY ACQUIRED-WE FLED LITHUANIA WITH NO VISAS} WHERE WE WERE ALSO JABBED {BY US GOVT} AGAIN & AGAIN, I STILL HAVE THE SCARS FROM AGE 4 INJECTIONS–25 TIMES IN ONE SPOT! A MEMORY I RETAIN.
Decontamination procedures were not carried out properly, thusly the shot administered to 98 million Americans still carried the SV40 virus. Despite constant reassurance from the CDC that this was harmless, a 1999 study from the National Institute of Health concluded — “Our analysis indicates increased rates of ependymomas (37%), osteogenic sarcomas (26%), other bone tumors (34%) and mesothelioma (90%) among those in the exposed as compared to the unexposed birth cohort.”
THEY WERE PUSHING FAKE PANDEMICS & FAKE VACCINES IN 1976
Finally, one must bring attention to the 1976 “fiasco”, as The New York Times puts it. In 1976, the Gerald Ford Administration was led to believe they were on the verge of a swine flu pandemic that would kill millions. However the evidence to substantiate this was scarce to say the least — and ultimately, it never happened. However this didn’t stop Ford and Congress from pushing through a mandate requiring a vaccine be rushed into production. In the end the entire campaign did more harm than good; Economically, with its strain on funds. Civilly, what is blatant disregard for civil liberty. And medically, as hundreds were harmed by the vaccine itself. As Discover magazine explained —
“Due to the urgency of creating new immunizations for a novel virus, the government used an attenuated “live virus” for the vaccine instead of a inactivated or “killed” form, increasing the probability of adverse side effects among susceptible groups of people receiving the vaccination. Furthermore, prominent American scientists and health professionals began questioning the campaign’s large expense and its drain on scarce public health resources.
With President Ford’s reelection campaign looming on the horizon, the campaign increasingly appeared politically motivated. The rationale for mass vaccination seemed to stem from only the barest of biological reasoning — it turned out that the flu wasn’t even related to the virus that caused the grisly 1918 epidemic and, indeed, those who were infected with the flu only suffered from a mild illness while the vaccine, for the reasons stated above, resulted in over four-hundred and fifty people developing the paralyzing Guillain-Barré syndrome.”
Consequently, the original NY Times article said it best — “The blame for such a result will have to fall on the politicians and bureaucrats who formed policy so hastily early this year, scorning the few voices that expressed skepticism and sought to raise questions about the program.”
As I conclude I wish to state even with as extensive as this article is it should be stressed that these are only a fraction of examples of these programs/ incidents. Admittedly, while writing I had a hard time deciding what to include or exclude due to the sheer volume examples found while researching for this piece.
Doing further in-depth study of these subjects indicate examples of public endangerment and criminal negligence like this number in the thousands and span much of our history. Case and point, even just this May, The Free Thought Project shared an article from The Rutherford Institute that provided examples of several more instances itself — including the military’s race-based testing of mustard gas on troops, & FEMA “inadvertently” exposing 10,000 first responders to the deadly compound ricin.
This report was an exhaustive one. And the track record is a repugnant one, but a clear one. Paired with critical analysis it shows perfectly why one would be very wise to always heavily scrutinize any of these institutions, particularly in times when they are demanding blind faith and unquestioning obedience.
We didn’t find out about the heinous acts committed between the 40s & 60s, until the 70s. And another decade to learn about the atrocities committed then. So on & so forth. And in the present day we are only just now learning about the health hazards subjected to the public in the 2000s. Transparency and accountability are not virtues that we can allow it to fall to the wayside. It begs the question that should be seen as a tale of caution — what are we being exposed to now, that they will neglect to tell us for another 20 years?
RASA SAYS: IT WILL BE IN THE 2040’S OR LATER, WHEN MANY OF THESE OLD DEMONIC MEN ARE DEAD, THAT THE TRUTH WILL COME OUT WHAT THEY DID OR TRIED TO DO TO US IN THE 2020’s. SO RESIST ALL HEALTH ‘REMEDIES’, VACCINES, INJECTIONS, FROM ANY PATRIARCHAL INSTITUTION! THEY ARE RELYING ON THE IGNORANCE OF PEOPLE TO ACCEPT THESE VACCINES, I NOTICE THOUSANDS ARE REQUESTING THEM! THEY DON’T NEED TO INJECT EACH & EVERY ONE OF US MILLIONS TO DO THEIR TESTING, HURTING & KILLING – THEY JUST NEED A COUPLE MILLION, & SO, 20-30 YEARS FROM NOW WE’LL HEAR ABOUT ALL THE EVIL RESULTS, THE SICKNESSES, THE DEATHS. THEY WILL KEEP IT SECRET FOR NOW, MUCH LATER IT WILL BE DECLASSIFIED OR OPEN KNOWLEDGE. SO SPREAD THE WORD NOW TO RESIST ANY JABS, REMEDIES, OR MEDICINES THEY GIVE.
A word to the wise my friends, always practice due diligence. Healthy skepticism can be your best friend, and perhaps even save your life.
Amen, and amen! Thanks to Sons of Liberty Media, Tim Brown & his associates
RASA SAYS: READ THESE ARTICLES, DON’T THIS READ THEM, SHARE THEM, TELL YOUR FRIENDS & LOVED ONES ABOUT IT. DON’T TRUST ANY PATRIARCHAL GOVERNMENTS. “SATAN IS THE PRINCE OF THIS WORLD” SAID JESUS. RASA SAYS, “SATAN RULES THE WORLD, & HE WORKS THROUGH MEN.” THIS IS HOW HE WORKS. FIGHT FOR MATRIARCHY, FEMALE EMPOWERMENT. HELP WOMEN GET ELECTED, HELP WOMEN GAIN POWER & AUTHORITY. HELP WOMEN MAKE MONEY. SPREAD THE WORD ON FEMALE SUPERIORITY & MALE EXTINCTION. MOTHER GOD WANTS THEM DEAD, THEY ARE BEING PHASED OUT, THERE WIL BE NO MORE MEN IN 100K YEARS, ALL PROBLEMS WILL BE SOLVED.
IT WILL BE A WOMAN-ONLY WORLD, TWO WOMEN PARENTING, ALL FEMALE OFFSPRING. SEE DR. BRYAN SYKES, “ADAM’S CURSE- A WORLD WITHOUT MEN.” HE SAYS THAT HUMAN MEN ARE “A GENETIC EXPERIMENT THAT DID NOT WORK, NATURE IS TAKING THEM OUT.”
Tim Brown
Tim Brown is an author and Editor at FreedomOutpost.com, SonsOfLibertyMedia.com, GunsInTheNews.com and TheWashingtonStandard.com.
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