College of the Gender War, Core Tenets

Sex Free Women Will Kill Patriarchy

Patriarchy Has a Kill Switch Part III – “The Body Count”

By Ajax the Great (Pete Jackson)

(Originally posted on the Vive La Difference! blog)

This is the long-awaited Part Three of the trilogy, “Patriarchy Has A Kill Switch”.  I strongly recommend reading Parts One and Two first, for context, clarity, and logical consistency.

{Rasa says: All that Pete Jackson writes is excellent & this is one of my favorite series of his He’s a genius.}

For Part One, about the general concept and theory, see here.  (And see Rasa’s excellent response here.)

For Part Two, about how this topic relates specifically to the incel community, see here.

Before we begin Part Three, I will clarify two things.  First, the term “body count” is the current internet vernacular referring to the total number of sexual partners that a person has had in one’s lifetime thus far, and in this article, that is the definition that will be used.  Second, the “kill switch” to patriarchy that I refer to in this and previous articles is simply, to paraphrase the ever-insightful Yuri Zavarotny, for we as a society to stop telling Women when, where and with whom she is allowed to get involved romantically or sexually.  Her body, her choice. 

          {Very good. In the New Religion & Order we will stress the importance of this. As far as ourselves it is our business, no one else’s, what we choose to do with our bodie short of any kind of abuse. No one need interfere with our choices or activities. Looking backward we will state concerning great Saints & Avatars like Jesus & Mary – their sex lives, if any were irrelevant. If Mary had sex with Joseph after Jesus {although Jesus was parthenogenesis} & bore other chidren it does not in any way diminish her status or Holiness. If Jesus was married to St. Mary Magdalene or blessed other women with children, it does not diminish His Greatness or Holiness. Sexual activity is by no means dirty or sinful uness it is abusive & one can easily be Saintly & have a sex life at the same time.}

And now to the, um, meat (and two veg!) of the matter.  So read on, if you dare.  

There has been a lot of stuff online, both now and in the past, about Women with “high body counts”, both pro and con.  Now, the definition of “high” is highly subjective, of course, but in 2025, generally almost everyone on the internet would consider anything in the double digits to be relatively high for a young person in their twenties.  On social media, especially Reddit, there is still much debate to this day.

          {Rasa says: People in general are still afraid to state how man sexual partners they have had, as if it’s some sort of disease to have many & of course this curse falls on women much more. Men consider it ‘notches on their belt’ {when they don’t tell it’s beause they want the next woman they pursue to think she’s special, – until they get to her, then it doesn’t matter}, but women sink lower & lower into mental gutters the more partners they have. That is why I brag about my cougar conquest far & wide, to soften & destigmatise this issue for women. Get used to it – we will have more & more partners in the future & no one will have anything to say when we are in control of society.}

First, I will note the hypocritical double standards that some people have in regards to gender.  Namely, that it is OK, even encouraged, for men to have high body counts, but not for Women, because reasons.  Or something.  Granted, it is much less than in the past, but some people still seem to hold such outdated and outmoded toxic malware in their minds for whatever reason.  And that can be very easily debunked as sexist BS.  (Ditto for anyone who believes in a reverse double standard as well, by the way.)  What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.  Anything else is pharisaical hypocrisy.

Second, some people (usually men) still keep repeating time and again that tired, specious “old husband’s tale” that Women (but not men) with high body counts somehow lose (or perhaps have always inherently lacked, depending on the source) the capacity to pair-bond, and thus are ruined and forever doomed to have less stable marriages in the future and/or are also more likely to engage in infidelity.  And they also claim that it inherently leads to worse mental health for Women in the long run as well.  Because reasons.  Or something.  And they of course then claim they have various studies to back it up, including ones from the of course totally unbiased and ever-objective Mark Regnerus, and also from the equally unbiased Brigham Young University with absolutely NO axe to grind whatsoever.  And if they believe that, well, I have a nice bridge I would like to sell them, LOL.

          {Rasa says: Oh what nonsense men have spewed & continue to do so. Remember foot binding? How about women cannot go out without their heads covered, or even their arms covered until past the Edwardian Era. And women had to wear dresses until 1930 or so. All those old standards have gone out the window as ridiculous & these other studies by men will also be trashed.}

The main problems with such questionable studies like this are all various flavors of “correlation does not equal causation”.  Any such observed correlations in that regard can basically be explained away as due to the following:

1) Selection bias, reporting bias, and reverse causation

2) Residual confounding

3) Leveraging from outliers (on both ends)

Basically, some people (regardless of gender) are simply “not the marrying kind”, and some people (regardless of gender) are simply not quite monogamous by nature.  It is probably best to think of monogamy (or non-monogamy) as a spectrum rather than a binary, and most people falling somewhere in the middle between the two extremes.  And that’s perfectly fine.  Same goes for “sociosexual orientation“, that is, a person’s willingness to engage in casual sexual activity.  That is also best thought of as a spectrum as well, and likely normally distributed throughout the population.  And of course, attempting to shoehorn relatively non-monogamous people into strict monogamy is almost certain to backfire, regardless of gender.  That alone is most of the selection bias and reverse causation right there.  

Also, these studies generally don’t really distinguish between people (regardless of gender) who simply went through a relatively brief libertine phase in their youth (“sowing one’s wild oats”), versus those who are simply like that by their very nature.  These are clearly two very different phenomena, and conflating the two will of course yield very specious inferences.  Rather than the total number of partners in one’s lifetime, it is probably better and more accurately to distinguish how long such a youthful libertine phase lasted: was it a few weeks, a few months, a few years, or longer still?

(Those armchair philosophers hawking those specious studies are clearly not presenting a worldwide view of the topic in any case:  they seem to have never heard of, or conveniently ignore, the Kreung people of Cambodia and their famous “love hut” tradition, for example.  Notice their surprisingly low divorce rates as well, by the way.  It’s almost like when young people, regardless of gender, are truly free to explore their sexuality without shame or punishment, they don’t seem to exhibit the sort of “parade of horribles” that occurs in sexually repressed societies, and also in the partially-liberated, partially-repressed societies like the USA and most of the Anglosphere today, still stuck in the “culture wars” of sexual politics.  But hey, the ever-insightful Dr. James W. Prescott could have told you that!)

          {Rasa says: I urge people to look up Dr. James W. Prescott & his Origins of Violence on the internet. He is another world to behold, a brilliant perspective from factual research.}

There is also reporting bias as well to these surveys, with Women tending to undercount their body counts and men tending to overcount theirs, for very obvious reasons.  And that is before we even begin delve into the definition of sex (what even really counts as “sex”?) being used as well:  there is clearly far more to sexuality than PIV penetration (though most studies take that as the gold standard).

“Residual confounding” includes confounding variables either not accounted/adjusted for or mismeasured.  Any number of these come to mind as well.  But the biggie that sticks out the most as being least likely to be accounted for in these studies is having a history of rape, sexual assault, and/or child abuse (sexual or otherwise).  I would thus hazard an educated guess that the traumas from such horrors, which we know now is a grossly underreported epidemic (nay, pandemic), would have at least some sort of adverse effect on one’s ability to pair-bond in the future, adversely affect one’s mental health, and would thus very likely skew the results of such studies at least somewhat.  And that confounding would have a larger effect on Women than it would on men, simply due to the far greater prevalence.

          {Rasa says: Let’s face it, Patriarchy doing most of the studies & observations will disregard their own abuses & concentrate on putting taboos on women, for any reasons whatsoever, however illogical they may be. There are few studies on how male abuse has affected people’s future lives. Few studies on what Dr. Prescott teaches: the pandemic of ATTACHMENT DISORDER, the disorder coming from LACK OF MOTHERHOOD – Motherhood being the nurturing, unconditional love women give. Why not much study of that? Almost everyone in our Patrirchal society has some form of attachment disorder because this kind of Love / nurturing is taken from us by Patriarchs.}

Leveraging from outliers refers to the fact that those at the extreme ends of the data range, or far outside most of the data range, would have an outsized influence on the statistical average, particularly if one uses the mean rather than the median as the average.

Oh, and the real kicker:  some of the studies that these naysayers like to cite are inconsistent in regards to whether there are even any significant gender differences at all in the effects of “body count”.

Thus, these specious studies are basically junk, and I will no longer dignify such garbage with a response going forward.  Consider it debunked, deboned, sliced, diced, julienned, and the remains having been completely laid waste for good.  You’re welcome.

One should also note that sapphics (i.e. lesbian and bisexual Women) never really seem to care or worry or whine about anyone’s “body count”. Gee, I wonder why? Perhaps that is because they are far, far less likely to objectify Women than men tend to do?  That is, they are far more likely to relate to other Women as “I and Thou“, not “I and It”.  Men can really learn a LOT from such Women indeed!

And finally, in a Matriarchal society, how would Women with a so-called “high body count” be regarded?  It would be generally…unremarkable overall, much like it would be for men as well.  Sex would be seen as a mutual act, not a “commodity” that men “take” from Women, nor something that builds men up by tearing Women down.  It would no longer be seen as a zero-sum game (win-lose), but rather a positive-sum game (win-win) overall.  And the very idea of forcing, coercing, deceiving, and/or manipulating anyone (regardless of gender) into any sex act that they don’t want to do for whatever reason would be seen as not only wrong, but also truly bizarre, perhaps even as unthinkable as cannibalism (hat tip to Jacklyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti for pointing out that general idea).

          {Rasa says: I look forward to the day, for women, when they control the family & the world. Men will be for the most part interchangeable. They can have sex with as many women as they want – women will not keep them chained to houses, cooking, cleaning, waiting for wifey to come home. They can be out doing hard work {put their size & mucles to good use} but not making decisions that affect humanity – political decisions, human rights decisions education & welfare decisions – the judicial justice system will be taken over by women – ending the laws & culture against them. Men can make decisions on their own businesses like let’s say construction, delivery systems, sanitation, restaurant chains. But if any of their businesses impact the ecology, land management & water, animal rights – all that will be overseen by women. They cannot log all the timber off a mountain or cut down the entire forest – women will allow only some of the timber to be taken, parts of old growth must always remain. Ditto women will supervise mining & minerals to make sure the land & water are not polluted. Women will also manage any type of nuclear plants – if any remain a thousand years from now. And religion – oh the importance of that – St. Paul & his nonsense will be illegal, lol. All the big religions wil be Priestesses, ministers, deacons, the entire nut will be cracked by women – & children, both male & female, can tend the altars but the message will be 180 degrees turned. {The male religions will shrink down to cults & the mainstream will laugh at the dodos who follow them.}

 Men can do what they like as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone – women will supervise that. Women will control most of the money. Men have gotten rich by robbing women with discrimination & unjust laws. It won’t be illegal for men to be rich, but it will be far more difficult for them to get that way when new laws are enforced & all the rights for women are in place.

          As far as families the paternity will not be crucial. If you want to know who Dad is, fine. If you don’t know doesn’t matter. The family money in most cases will be held by Mom – your future depends on her. Let him be a spare tire if he’s around.

          Pete here mentions sexual cohersion & crimes. This will dimish to almost nothing when women are in charge. Not zero – but 99% gone; women are not predators like men with their sacks of billions of sperms & the lack of ability to control their impulses. And men will have noting to do with children – will not be permitted alone with them, always under supervision or in groups where women are present. That’s a keystone of matriarchy – similar to the Bonobos where women are in groups, not facing one man in a nuclear family who will browbeat her, intimidate & exploit. No more free ride for men where they get to use up all the energy of women with drudgery – child care & house chores – while they fly high with their harems of secretaries, dental ‘assistants’, office back room shags, pole dancers & etc. The adult trade will change from women being featured to men. Women from offices going in groups or alone, having fun choosing which toy boys they want to have sex with. It won’t be sneaky or evil, doing it behind the back of the spouse because the marriage system will be different – monogamy will not be expected or enforced. Women will be FREE.}

And in such a protopian society, Women with a “high body count” would probably be, and be seen as, the ones who are the most prosocial and community-minded of all.  After all, the literal Latin meaning of the word “community” is “free sharing of gifts” (hat tip to Carol Brouillet for pointing that out, albeit in a very different context). And they certainly would NOT be vilified or shamed for it!

(And of course, most people would simply mind their own damn business in such a society, as they would clearly have far better things to do than judge each other’s sex lives like repressed busybodies.)

So what are we waiting for?  Kill Switch Engage!

Let the planetary healing begin!

College of the Gender War, Core Tenets

She can Break Every Bone in His Body lol – How Female bb Evolved

        Wrote a letter to Randy Roach that ended up this article, lol – Yes I have a lot to say – Rasa Von Werder  To Randy,                            
        Yes I see.  Arnold tried to stand up to Weider way in the beginning – he said so in his first book ‘Education of a Body Builder’ – but Weider then pulled his ads, so Arnold lost that game. I guess Arnold learned to play ball – “Make love not war” when it came to Weider, just one of the many people in power he cooperated with to get ahead.

    I believe I have beaten Arnold at the game between him & me – it was a matter of time. It all played out, this is the end. And the end is I am justified & given the recognition I deserve no matter what he tried to do.

    “No lie lives forever”

    said Martin Luther King Jr. & this is proven but things need time to play out. There is a lot to this, it’s more than personal. These are smaller battles within the Gender War – this war is coming to an end on the planetary level & on the  personal level. There are two ideas that are pertinent to my work in body building – both on Wikipedia. One is ‘the Overton Window’ which is a measurement of ideas, cultural & so on, which are first unthinkable, then possible, then become accepted. That was my thrust or emergence on the scene – that is what I did for women.

    On the opposite side of this is the “Matilda” effect. It means that whatever women do {in this case it’s the scientific community,} their efforts, advances & discoveries are not attributed to them but to the men of power or status above them. This way women are forgotten, swept under the rug, not given credit personally or as a whole for their achievement.

    Why would this be? Because if individual women are given recognition it puts a good light on women in general, that is, all women benefit, all women are honored, their gender gets a boost. And this does not suit the opposite gender, who want to be the dominate one.

    And so women have been ROBBED, for a very long time, of the recognition due them, in fact, we’re talking thousands of years.

    But the big picture is we are on the cusp of the emergence of Matriarchy which will unseat Patriarchy, that is the Gender War, that is the big game we are playing.

    I did not see this in the beginning, I was influenced & inspired by a Power & Energy within which I did not understand or recognize. But it was the Ultimate, the Source of Life, that was pushing me ahead. It was time for women to break the shackles, the iron doors, & to emerge out of the dungeons & slavery men had confined them to.

    And that is what I faced after the fact – after I did my bit to get the modern competitive female body building started. I was challenged by two powerful men within the body building community who wanted to do whatever they could to stop me from getting recognition. Indeed, Arnold had personal reasons. Just like I had personal, emotional reasons for what I did. On the microcosm level it was both emotional for us. {I explain this in my life story – the early demoralization etc} But on the mega-cosmos level, these guys were on the Manside/Patriarchy dominating women & trying to keep this going, while the Woman-side was represented by me, a woman of God, sent by Her, to help establish Matriarchy again {when the world had peace, no wars.}

          I see the end of it now – it took time – in fact, FIFTY YEARS for me to be justified. But if I had NOT FOUGHT the battle, continued to fight against Weider/Arnold, they would have succeeded. Their cronies, sock puppets, Copellia dolls would have been recognized because they played the game their way, not women’s way. But I fought like an animal, a Honey Badger so to speak, {who’s little but stands up to Grizzlies & lions & wins!} to get proper recognition. And after fifty years, because of my patience, persistence & fortitude, faith & hope in God, at last, at last, if you Google me I will come up as the Progenitor – which even a short time ago was missing. It looked like Arnold/ Weider had buried me, but I rose up like the Phoenix when all seemed lost. Yes Arnold wanted to demoralize me, hurt me because he felt hurt by me. Weider wanted to help because he loved Arnold. The goons who were employed by both of them were stenographers to power, the yes men of the world who do as they are told, & they kept the anti-Kellie machine going. But THERE IS A GOD.

          I could mention some of the lost souls – really lost – who these guys destroyed. Mike Mentzer comes to mind. His entire world, & that of his brother were held in the hands of the IFBB. Without this monopoly there was nothing else. When he tried to stand up to them he lost – why? If you read his Wikipedia you find out that Mentzer was confused about God. He was partially right, in that God is Infinity. But his religion had no dimension of devotion, faith, hope, charity or any of the virtues we usually strive for – Mike seemed to think he was a power unto himself – He lived in his ego & flesh, so when that was buffered, he had no place to go – no ‘rock of Christ’ to hide inside.

          When the fragile ego is crushed & we have no alternative power we’re finished, & so Mike was. No longer in the magazines he became invisible. Efforts to rise up in other spheres didn’t work, & alcohol & drugs did the rest.

          It isn’t totally fair to compare myself with Mike because body building was all he had – for me only 20% of my career. And so Arnold/Weider depriving me from notice was not gigantic – but it was still a world I had a right to.

          I have now said a mouthful, especially regards the Gender War – the battle of men & women, the clash of Feminine, Masculine, who wins? And how did this enter into body building as I claim it has/did from the beginning.

          It is because of this perspective, that I’m not sure any one inside body building can represent me & write my story. Because, after all the men who are involved in body building admire the men! And they have their own identity meshed in with these heroes! They see with a lens that does not see women need freedom, women need love, women need to do what they want to do! Understandably they are looking from the side of men, & men want to be champs or Big Shots & although not all are tyrants & miscreants they would rather women be nice to them than defiant & independent. They generally will not struggle for the freedom/autonomy of women!

          And so, there might have to be an outsider who doesn’t give a hen’s tooth about body building to write an account of what I stood for & what I accomplished – this is a perspective not from the world of body building but the Gender War! What was accomplished when one woman appeared – a joke to some – flexing every mucle she could in Esquire – lifting weight & doing the same for Playboy later & underscoring this in many other venues? What did this mean?

          It was a threat to men & an invitation to women,

          “To the barbells, girls!”

          Playboy said.

          Women were scared, men were scared. Women had been scared of being ousted from society for breaking their rules. Men were scared women would beat them up, emotionally if not physically, when they got strong – Not scared of men any more. It all sounds so funny now, because it came about & women are in many ways beating men up. Look at the “Me too” movement, look at the education ‘crisis’ where men are falling behind, women forging ahead. Look at the Olympics, look at women wrestling on TV – women now in politics, running for president. Yes, women are beating men up & body building is one phase.

          What does professional drug-induced body building for women now prove?

          “Hey you guys – I can be just as freaky as you given testosterone. I can smell like you, get into rages,  get God-awful muscular, not your pussy footed beauty who strives to please. Any average man I can crush if he tries to assault or rape me.”

That has never happened before – men have been physically lording it over women thousands of years. But try raping Iris Kyle will you? Not a chance – Hand to hand she can break every bone in your body, lol. That gives men some pause.

The Gender War moves on.   {End}

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets

Multiple Experiences of Purgatory & Consciousness – also Weider & Arnold again

  • Soul ABOUT TO ASCEND

Very good dream. Someone about to ascend, but who?

I’m in my apt & within it I see the wall – there is a TUNNEL that a DOG has dug out for her own home – {which is typical of some dogs.}

I see her COME OUT of the tunnel & at the entrance it’s NARROW so that both sides of her ribs are touched, but she squeezes through.

The TEXTURE of the soil is UNUSUAL. It’s like CLAY but different. It’s GRAY, it’s MOIST & solid like clay but not MUDDY. It’s a sort of texture that is CLEAR like if you pour water on it it won’t make mud, like brown but maybe stay clear or almost so. I can sense it to my touch – It’s GRITTY.

This dog is like a German Shepherd, but not real large – abut 75 lbs, & her nozzle & ears are quite pointed, & she has dark on top of all her extremities, so she’s a Shepherd mix.

My Rottweiller Gaggy Boy {Guard of the Mystial Heart} appears from the left & greets her. They DID NOT know each other but hopefully, the meeting is cordial & they will accept each other – be friends. They sort of touch noses.

Then Gagee Boy {he’s very large in the dream, around 120-150 lbs} proceeds to SMELL OUT The beauty, starting from the top of her head, every inch of her body down to the tail. The smelling is not just physical scent as he smells, he discerns where she’s been & who’s been near her – what she’s done. He’s kind of discovering her IDENTITY. She just lies there allowing it.

Now I look around the apt & to my left I see a plant in a pot that is about 12’ tall, growing beautifully with just one lamp from the ceiling giving it the light it needs. I marvel at this, saying,

“It’s amazing how these plants grow with just so little light.”

{There’s other plants I know in the apt just like that but they’re not in my vision right now. But I know they’re there – several of them.} *{This represents the soul here & you have others in your portal getting closer to God, but you aren’t seeing them at the moment.}* This huge plant has even developed blossoms that will open up shortly like begonias. Its leaves are very large & almost waxy.

MEANING:

*{a SOUL HAS come out of the ‘grave’ into my portal, but has she Ascended? And who is she? I’ve been wondering about ‘Little Rebecca’ as I did the 28th Mass for her yesterday – just need 2 more days to complete her Gregorian cycle – which is a great deal of Grace. I wonder if she ascended already but wasn’t identified – possibly with that large group of ‘children’ a few days ago, where we were all singing.

Gagee boy is my INNER SENSE trying to DISCERN who she is! It’s a big, strong sense, lol.

Mother God what is the meaning of the SOIL?

MG: The soil is something SUPERNATURAL so it’s hard to describe – it’s totally metaphysical, not of the earth. So it isn’t like earthly mud but it’s solid like clay. It’s the Purgatory her own KARMA had ‘dug out’ for her home – now she has ESCAPED it through the Grace of what has gone on. The TIGHT SQEEZE indicates it wasn’t EASY but she got out.

The PLANT is also a SYMBOL that her release or Ascension is IMMANENT. The fact that it is ABOUT to bloom – not bloomed yet – is saying, about to Ascend.

And your Inner Sense is trying to figure out who this is – could it be ‘little Rebecca’ or has she already gone up?}*   {End}

9-9-25 {1} Joe Weider Loves me & Brings me Approval &  {2} A Delinquent Boy Wants my Love

       Will wonders ever cease? These dreams coiinicide with some revelations I received the day before, re why I’m not as happy as I could be – to be explained after.

I am with Joe Weider, who is a big shot in our community – having to do with body building I surmise & contests. I see lots of women in front of  the back wall – all types. One taller, some shorter – don’t see them clearly as they’re at least 40-50’ away, but know they’re all candidates for some kind of contest. I sense all sorts of business dealings going on & Joe Weider is the top business / boss man.

He’s sitting behind a desk of sorts & saying to me that not many people know it but he knows it & I know it – that all his contests were fixed……

What is amazing is it’s the opposite of what it was in real life. Joe Weider wants my love. He not only approves of me but he wants everyone to know it. I approach him & am kissing his face, his left side & he not only likes it he wants me to continue kissing his face & this in front of the whole assembly – everyone connected to our busiess.

It’s something about me winning somehow. I’m not in the contets any more & yet I am to be regarded, held in the esteem of all there, as the winnder on some level. This is a BIG DEAL.

After a long time kissing his face, which he wanted, I now just rest on the opposite side of his body, his right, my head on his shoulder.

He has demonstrated to everyone here that I am NUMBER ONE in his estimation. This is different, unusual & gives me great comfort as Joe had been my enemy in real life – he’d hurt me. But now, this changes everything & makes up for the past.   {End}

MEANING:

*{This is someone responding to the new prayers of mine. I’m including Edmundo my aborted son every day, the souls in Purgatory, the Saints who’ve helped me, the Saints I have helped, the saints on earth who love God, & the Holy Angels. I ask them all to guide me, correct me & comfort me each day.

Joe Weider has come forward to comfort me – he’s one of the Saints I helped. And he’s making it all right for me in the world of body building. He’s making everyone in the field acknowledge me as THE WINNER. Not of any contest today but the winner overall – the Progenitor of modern competitive female body building, as this award declares. He’s MAKING THIS PUBLIC & it erases so much pain they put on me in the past.

Obviously it’s someone else who put the information on the 3 pertinent Wikipedias – Joe Weider being dead has done nothing. But this must be saying that from his heavenly perch he is doing something to alert people to this information – awake to the facts. Indeed, Souls on the other side can affect what goes on on earth.

God explained ot me yesterday that the reason I’m a lot less happy than I could be is my LOVE LIFE has to do with my contact with souls in Purgatory. The center of my gravity & Source of my LOVE LIFE is not a man or family, it’s the souls.  And when I DON’T HAVE TIME to think about them, record my dreams of them, & my mind is on the earth plane – as it has been now on & off for many months – my ‘joy’ level gets low – the ‘feel good’ hormones in my body are not replenished.

Even writing my LIFE STORY as in ‘The Man Whisperer’ is depressing because most of my physical life has been stressful – I received more pain than love, so recalling it isn’t happy. And that INCLUDES the years of being a cougar.

As soon as I saw this truth, I resolved to buckle down & concentrate on souls in Purgatory more & this lifted my spirits……Joe Weider is NOT in Purgatory but he decided of himself to comfort & console me & did make me feel better.}*   {End}

‘It’s a Hard Life’ – White Cat Asleep on Red Quilt with Two Puppies

The two Delinquent Boys – thieves – one Changes Completely

                           This might be a parallel dream – one that personifies the same message as the previous, but in a different way.

I have two delinquent boys whom I kind of love. A feeling of I am the leader of like ‘boy scouts’ & they are in my charge, I’m like their teacher. They’re cute & they seem to be my friends. We’re going places doing things, but then they betray me & I look around for my purse – they have robbed me & GONE!

There was especially one item that was precious – a necklace. It’s dark, some kind of gems, fairly close to the neck. A young beautiful lady has come by wanting to buy it – so I go to the tray where the boys & I had worked but it’s gone. I return to that or another tray to see what’s left & there are several nice items – which I take out one by one & give the lady for free: A pair of earrings, a bracelet, & 2 or 3 other similar items, like bracelets made of tiny gold chains, not as grand as the necklace but good, & I give them to her gratis, sorry I couldn’t do more.

I then want to deal with the bad boys. I am going to their parents to complain. I get a large book of direction, like a telephone book for their address. I find the book, open it, but inside is a story about Athena, a model that had betrayed me, & black & white pictures of her that are not of good quality. At first I was sure it was her, but then I wasn’t ure, maybe another model who looked like her.

Then the boys suddeny appear in front of me again. I scold them & tell them I was going to their parents to complain. One of the boys is holding my WALLET – not the purse but my wallet has all the money & I take it from him. So things are now straight between us. The other guy disappears.

Now this boy wants to be with me, he wants my love. He’s big – stocky – handsome & sexy.

He puts his arm around me & says,

“Let’ go.”

Where are we going? To a restaurant. He sits close to me. I touch his upper back & am stroking it gently. He seems to be in love or infatuated with me. Something about beer – him wanting one. I ask him if he’s allowed, if he’s of age. It seems no, he’s still a teen, like 18, but the owners of this place allow him to have one or two.

The dreams are happy. They left me with great consolation & I had much more energy than usual. When I got up I did some unpleasant work immediatey but it didn’t bother me as I was feeling good.   {End}

MEANING:

*{Mother God, many questions. Is this boy who RETURNS Joe Weider? But physically he sounds like Arnold, being stocky, handsome & even ‘sexy,’ – doesn’t fit Joe. Or is Arnold the one that ‘disappears’ meaning he’s not yet repentant of what he’s done to me – beause he’s on earth. While Joe was in purgatory & I helped him ascend, so now he sees clearly my inner state & the truth about who I am, who I was, the whole magilla – so that has made him regret hurting me. Whereas Arnold might be impervious to this. And in his MIND Joe Weider might have thought of himself as looking heroic, the way he kept drawing doodles of his ideal & also attached his head, lol, to the torso of Robby Robinson.

So which delinquent is this?

     And what is that dark necklace they stole from me & my purse? Who is the lady that wants to buy the necklace, & what are the mostly small golden chains jewelry I give her? Good but not as precious as the necklace.

       MG: The necklace is pain & suffering, a string of incidents or events where you were hurt as in ‘no good deed goes unpunished.’. These are not recognized by the public as part of your life a theme here is loss of understanding & empathy for what you’ve been through. The Lady could be Our Holy Mother or the God Self who here – notice – WANTS TO BUY this valuable string of pain – shows that She DOES recognize WHAT YOU WENT THROUGH. You are given SOME respect {the lesser jewels} but not the degree you achieved – you give Her your love without asking for a return {compensation, money as circumstances unfold.}

       This does seem to be firt Weider, then Arnold. Possibly because Weider died & relized your spiritual worth. But now Arnold somehow catchs up – maybe since you appeared in the 3 Wikipedia sites giving you credit properly – so he has to say

       “OK I recognize what you did {the money he returns – compensation} so I give you credit, I nourish you {takes me to restaurant} & I’m being nice {let’s me stroke his upper back.}

       This is reconciliation with both of them.}*   {End}

9-7-25 the CASTLE I Inherit

              There’s a grandmother here, a plain woman – someone familiar – & she seems to be the proprietor of this Castle.

       I am around here & it’s up in the air – is this Castle bequeathed to someone, & is it me? I wonder if I am worthy of it. The grandma doesn’t like the idea as she goes out, I go in.

       But all at once it’s revealed to all of us that I am to inherit the Castle. I must tell the old grandma she has to leave & I mustn’t be soft about it, just have to tell her to go & not worry what she does.

       And so I am now temporarily going but I say to her on my way out,

       “In a few days when this is settled I will send someone to take it over.”

       And it was set – no one could change it or do anything about it, the Castle was mine by legal right.   {End}

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       MEANING:

       *{This is a marvelous STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS I have INHERITED BY LEGAL RIGHT OF KARMA!  I have not received it yet but I will – soon – either on earth or in Heaven.

       The grandma could be my present state which I must GIVE UP or EVICT – “when that which is perfect has come, that which is in part shall be done away with.” So I can’t grieve over the ‘old me’ being gone.}*   {End}

     9-6-25 The Huge Building with the Unusual Décor

There’s this building – magnificent in some ways – & it’ about 10 stories high. But something might be wrong with it, like water has made it unstable & someone is saying they might tear it down.

I am eager to see it & as I go through various floors – most of them are immaculate, no defect whatsoever, it would be awful to tear this building down. But I see what they mean abut water – one floor, like maybe 3 or 4 stories up – has a huge torrent of water gushing out of it like something went wrong, not sure what, & whatever this is, it supposedly makes the building unstable.

But the other floors I examine are not only beautiful they are incredible & seem perfectly stable.

Each floor has the same wall covering pattern I like – wooden squares like I’ve seen in movies of walls in England, solid polished wood squares, the entire wall. One floor looks just like that.

But another floor has those exact squares but they are painted in white enamel paint, & this doesn’t look right.

I go up from floor to floor until I reach the top. There it gets plainer, don’t see the wall covering there, something odd. Off to one side is an ART GALLERY & there’s only one type of picture. A man has drawn sketches of people with their eyes like this: no eyes but streaks of black shooting out of their eyes in all directions. All the pictures are like that, they are sketches, all black & white, no shading, no color.

I then walk over to another area where there is a curtain or glass wall I can see through . And on the other side of this prior to the wall to the outside sky is a curtain with vertical stripes, mostly orange.

I was going to go over there to check this out, but a big man standing nearby said to me,

“You’re alright,”

meaning,

“You’re alright where you are, don’t go there.”

And he guides me toward the elevator as I’ve now reached the top floor & seen it all & it’s time to go back down.

MEANING

*{This is levels of consciousness, mostly good, but one level needs repair. The water coming out of it – water can be GRACE or it can be DESTRUCTION. This seems to be bad, so it must be fixed.

I examine all the levels. My favorite type of religion is the Christian one with its Cross & martyrdom. This is symbolized by the brown wooden squares all over the walls. I see it here. But when it is PAINTED or made into something different –– like we are SUPPOSED TO BE ALWAYS HAPPY ON EARTH – I don’t like it.  It’ not the right message.

The very ‘highest’ consciousness is scary. {Things high up are not always representative of good, they are sometimes heights of pain.} This height is like that. It’s shown here in two forms. One the art gallery, seems to be BEING BLIND SPIRITUALLY. These are people that Cayce & Blavatsky call ‘without a soul’. Having no eyes but just darting black spikes is seeing evil, as one has no true life within. And being just black & white strokes {no shading here}, having no dept of perspective or color, is being one or two dimensional, whereas spirual life is multi dimensional. So this is ugliness of those without the light of God.

And there’s another state that is so DANGEROUS {orange vertical stripes} a Guardian Angel {Big Man} won’t even let me go see it! He guides me to the elevator to go back down.}*   {End}

9-10-25 Aunt/Uncle, Roses Missing Jacket/Scarf

This is some sort of PUNISHMENT as I’ve explained before – symbol of Aunt/Uncle.

I go to a sort of CELEBRATION or EVENT at Aunt/Uncle’s house. It’s LIKE XMAS but I see no Xmas decorations.

The house is similar to what theirs was, kind of modern, simple rooms, but nice.

The first thng I notice upon entering is a TABLE with two VASES of BEAUTIFUL LONG-STEMMED RED ROSES, & I make a comment on this, saying,

“I knew this was something special, look at these roses.”

The roses are beautiful red – expensive long stemmed & they are I think in GLASS vases. So tall they bend a bit out of the vases. I only GLANCE as I walk t another room, shedding my thick navy blue jacket & is it scarf?

This jacket is one I wore in the late 70’s, it has a marked two layers of pointed collars.

The drama following this is I CAN’T FIND WHERE I PUT THE JACKET & SCARF & I’m looking forever so distraught – what will my Aunt think if I don’t even know where I put this? {Much later I thought – what if SHE put them somewhere?} It’s like I’ve done something TERRIBLE to FORGET where I put this, going room to room, spot to spot, searching.  My grandma seems to be here – but this is vague.

When I explain my dilemma to Aunt he says,

“For 100 pesos, we can order a big bag of laundry from mexico with all kinds of clothes. You can choose fro that.”

Now in another room sans Aunt but Uncle is to the right sort of squatting or on a bench with his knees up, I’m talking to a friend in front of me & I am disgusted. I say,

“What an insult. As if a bag of laundry from Mexico could make up for my jacket & scarf. This could be clothes that don’t even fit me or are substandard – what a fucking insult.”

I knew Uncle would hear this but I said it regardless.   {End}

MEANING:

*{I’m being HONORED {the roses} for TWO things I accomplished in the 70s, for which I have not received the proper recognition. I can only assume it’s the body buiding & the speech in front of the White House {which ended Comunism.}

This LOSS has given me GREAT STRESS  in my unconscious mind {grandma here} & my aunt adds insult to injury by suggesting I should be compensated by lesser accaim – what recognition I have gotten. But I’m saying this is SUBSTANDARD.

Mexico is a THIRD WORLD COUNTRY so it represents poverty or lack – while a bag of laundry of random clothes also bespeaks low quality.

Roses – here two vases – are honour, respsct & love. {Their bending is humility reminds me of a woman from a poor family they got her a bouquet of roses for a birthday & I noticed how they bent as there were only a few – all they could afford.} This is a two-tier occurrence, a review of my pain but a HINT {what if she hid my jacket & scarf?} that it was permitted by God for me to GAIN MERIT. Padre Pio, when once greatly lauded shrugged,

“I might be getting my honour here instead of in Eternity!”}*   {End}

College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets

Multiple Issues my Ministry – Purgatory & Earth

Dreams of Multiple Ascensions & Others Whom I help – Mostly Purgatory

8-25-25 Jubilation Song – Mom Appears

        I was somewhere doing something – can’t recall what. But suddenly I see I am in a large room surrounded by many people – like 150 & they are children. Say pre teen to young teen 10 to 13, – how old is vague.

        I’ve been teaching them or ministering to them. They are as if in bleachers behind me & also surrounding me. I am singing but the song is like preaching or & I’m wearing something with maybe flowers printed on it {only on my breasts – white with blue, maybe green flowery designs} & some kind of bands crossing my front & as I bend forward something unusual. My breasts are hanging like skin emptyish on top but the breasts are long & end up at bottom like cantelope size, so as I’m moving my breasts swing somewhat.

        *{Breasts represent LOVE & NOURISHMENT so somehow I transferred this to this crowd & it seems they have ASCENDED. There is almost never any sort of party, celebration or song in Purgatory unless there’s Ascension. Improvement is shown in other ways.}*

        Now it’s notable that all the children are singing with me – we’re a chorus & its jubilation. Kind of like a victory chorus, very happy.

        Now I said something negative re my Mom – don’t know why. Did not know she was close in this room asleep, & she woke up. I see her standing against the wall with two cloths across her front one medium gray, one blue, they’re kind of like flags but stretched out across her body in a

diagonal way. I am bracing mself to be criticized because that’s all she ever did – but surprisingly, she’s moving across the room & saying good things about me! I thought she would criticize my breasts bouncing – I once got thrown out of a very parochial gym because of this – long story.

        *{This sounds like ‘no good deed goes unpunished.’ I am reacting to my ‘Mother’ God Self similar to how I reacted Mommy Fearest – my biological Mother. I fear the worst – I have the ‘fear of the Lord the beginning of Wisdom’ here. Her being asleep means that I was not conscious of her. I was asleep to Her, She was unconscious to me.}*

        She went to the wall there & pointed to a stick that might be an umbrella of sorts, & it had also cloth wrapped around it similar to what she has on, one gray, one blue, & she says to everyone that this was one of the good things I did.

*{This is hard to understand but the umbrella is a hint. Unbrella refers to covering & protecting an area & the area was symbolized by gray & blue. Medium gray would be ‘gray area’ or a place not lit up – like a dim room – so refers to Purgatory, how the souls feel mentally speaking {gray is also the brain, gray area they call it}. And blue often means sadness. And my Mother God is covered in the same thing – which represents EMPATHY. She is the POWER within me, behind me, it is She, not myself that effects spiritual feats – I am an instrument but not the Power. So she is it seems saying that my PRAYERS which covered the entire Purgatory, which I say every day were EFFECTIVE – they reached a great many this time.}*

        The most striking part is the singing – which was so jubilant.  {End}

8-26-25 Old Lady & Other Dreams

        A family brought an old lady {like 90} to me for a visit. But strangely she just went to the corner bedroom & slept the entire weekend. It was then time for her to go.

        In the room I was in, she cracked open the door. {It’s green – she wanted me to see her} So I jumped up to bid her good bye. She was dark skinned {does not refer to race but state of her soul – means she’s still in Purgatory, dark, not lit up yet to arise} – wearing a wide brimmed dark blue straw hat {old fashioned style} – where I cannot see her face, wearing a brown mink coat.

        *{This is a FAMILY PRAYING for their loved one in Purgatory. I answer their prayers. The CORNER always represents the Cross of Jesus. She comes here – to me – for REST. Rest is PEACE, being comforted. What can we do for poor souls but this? So she receives what she needs. And she’s been here a weekend – which is kind of like, lol, whatever I suffered this weekend relieved her suffering. Now she wants me to know she’s leaving. OK.

        I warmy bid good bye, I think I embrace her. What is the hat? Suffering. What is the mink coat? Probably the weight of her sins, where as a human she sought selfish comfort – which would be anyone wearing the skin of another animal to give warmth to themselves but depriving the animal of their own God-given protection. A sin that weights on her conscience now. It’s upon her, she carries it. Mind you, it is not my or anyone’s place to criticize or thereby punish a soul for their sins – our place is only to help them. They cannot be CORRECTED or TAUGHT, or PREPRIMANDED any more. It’s too late, it’s finished – in life we can reprimand or correct someone as they can change, they can be fixed, but not here. We can only comfort.}*

        I speak to her warmly, & on the table to the left side is a large cake, shaped like a mushroom  {about 10” high}, the stem about 6” high & maybe 3.5” circumference, it’s slightly bent – the cake dark brown. It’s half covered with pink icing. I then take a large portion of more pink icing & slather it onto the cake, covering all parts with a thick layer, where her famly will put it into a cake box & she can take it away.

*{This cake & the pink icing is NOURISHMENT & this would be the prayers & the Holy Masses said. The pink icing is ‘icing on the cake’ means EXTRA stuff probably either my own discomforts or my prayers. And PINK is a sign of happiness or ‘in the pink.’ So I give her something to take away with her as well as what she received here.

        Why the mushroom shape? Need to think about that. But dark brown is chocolate which most creatures like.}*

        Other scenes are vague but I will do my best.

        I am in the front bedroom in the apt in B’klyn. Its 6 flights up. The window has somehow been removed or fell out, I’m replacing it for privacy. The window I put in is ‘glazed’ or foggy so you can’t see through, but it only covers about 3/4th across, but it’s good enough. Strangely, my daughter has become a statuette – turned herself into one, on a pedestal about a foot high. She’s naked & wants to sit like a statue sort of not behind but in front of the window where she can be seen. But the guys below – if they look up – will not really see much as she’s only a foot tall.

There’s a group of ‘gang bangers’ way below- they have their dubious headquarters there sitting in front of the opening, but then they move. It’s like a ‘den of thieves.’ Like those juvenile delinquents I used to know.

*{This sounds like I’m trying to lure in more souls for assistance, but some can’t he helped. They are TOO LOW – I am TOO HIGH {6 flights up} so we don’t connect.}*

Another scene:

There’s a room with two beds with warm covers, very cozy. Someone important is occupying one bed to the right, & another person, not so important, in the bed on the left, which I sometimes must share. I don’t like this sharing. I think of a room I’ve seen in many dreams. It’s like in a very large house I own or occupy at times, it’s on the 2nd or 3rd floor, it sits alone & always empty -Very cozy. I wish to go there – it’s a place no one ever goes, perfect for privacy. The covers of these beds are all rumpled in a nice way – they are so soft & have pretty designs.

 I see a man here that reminds me of my new handyman, he’s just sitting with a pleasant look on his face.

Then I see some sort of animal with a tiny pointed face, sort of white. It appears in the bed with me seeking comfort under my covers. I decide to take it outside in the beautiful nature- there a huge tree with many extended branches & other bushes around. Will I find a place for that little animal there?

*{This is about the need to be alone for spiritual consciousness. There are terrific people about me but even so when I’m working with them my consciusness is not private, I have to be ‘on board’ or ‘on deck’ working with them at all times. It does drain me somewhat & I wish to be alone.

The cute little animal might represent the person working with me now – he has a good heart, so he’s white. The pointed snout is like a fox – a smart or clever person. I am talking about taking hm outside. If I keep this man working outside, by himself then I can be alone with my thoughts. Something like that.}*

Then there is a poor child. They have brought a group of children here, & one of them cries so loud, so bitterly, that I take pity. It seems to be maybe 1 to 2 years old. Something about it it’s almost like a little animal. Can I help it? Is it tame enough to come to me?

I walk toward it, stand before it a few feet, stretch out my arms to it & say something. It jumps right into my arms & clings to me, & I take it to wherever I go, whatever I’m doing & it is comforted – this goes on it seems for hours.

*{This child, is it Purgatory or earth? I doubt if children below the age of reason are in Purgatory I believe they all go to heaven as they haven’t the capacity for sin. Indeed they can do wrong, but are they responsible? The CC puts the age of reason as 8 yrs. And so I must guess this is the earth plane & one child is suffering terribly – probably separation anxiety – & God gives me the privilege to comfort it.}*  {End}

   8-28-25 Clutter & Dirt at my Aunt’s Huge House

I’m visiting my Aunt in this huge house that she’s occupied, with Grandma along with Uncle – but he’s died.

It isn’t practical & since Henry died, I said to her,

“You’ve let this go.”

She took issue with that – didn’t want to admit it.

How big is the house? About 3 times normal size, huge rooms, 2 or 3 floors & I see a combination of her North Salem house plus other places & it’s gone to pot. We talk about offers that were made. Someone in the family said we’d give her & Grandma the house next door to her NS one – it’s a fave of mine I’ve ever been in – someone starts raving about the view from the living room, a sort of expanded room, two levels, with huge glass walls.

But Aunt & Grandma said no, they just wanted to stay here although they couldn’t manage it.

I see one room expanding into another, one of the floors has dog shit on it from their German Shepherd – they just didn’t have the energy to pick it up!

And everywhere clutter – every room. Nothing but clutter, piles of things. And we all seem to be GOING somewhere but where? I mean all of us. I was here for a while on business but that’s finished.

There was a pile of colorful art. I looked through it. Is it water color? Certainly not oil no frames, just paper. Picked out ONE picture. It was plain, simple, but I recognized it as a MASTERPIECE. A small farmhouse in the middle of a field – yellow wood – & a few simple things around it, but the style & form of it are perfect. But then it disappears & I search & search in all this rubble but can’t find it. The other pictures in the pile were all insignificant. Just designs, simple designs, no meaning, no form. Dozens of little +’s across a blue background – things like that. I finally give up searching & rest my mind from it.

Why is everything upside down & where are we going?

*{ME: Mother God I don’t get this. I know Aunt & Uncle are punishment, but Uncle is dead so some of its potency has gone. Granma is the deepest unconscious. But clutter, dog shit, & what is the image I love but have lost?

MG:  This is how upside down your life has been this year – beyond what you can manage.

At one time your life was SIMPLE. Now it’s cluttered with a guzillion things – how you long for the simplicity it once was.

However, the goodnes is you seem to be LEAVING this place – all of you. That means perhaps you will find a  better place of consciousness & it does seem like you are managing better. God has given you a fantastic handyman helper & just today, a new plumber you needed who happens to be LITHUANIAN & a jolly one at that! Whenever a Lithuanian appears, they are sent by God. Like your Doctor at one time & recently a new hairdresser. You searched for years for such persons & now they are here. And the handyman is a Godsend. So yes, you are leaving this turmoil & entering peace of mind.

The house is HUGE because your area of concern includes the yard as well as the physical house – which takes up a huge space, like 3 acres.}*  {End}

College of God & Love, Core Tenets

Dr Juan Carlos Honours me but Can I Travel? God says my Heart would be in Danger

From Dr. Juan Carlos Cassano, a representative & historian of body building

Hi Rasa

The decision is totally yours, but my plan was to honour you.

The women in the Mr America are drug tested.

I understand you have your opinions, and I understand your point of view.

This is the way the competition is.

I know many of the competitors, they are really lovely people, and many of them have to be champions before entering this contest, so this look is not forced upon them, but rewarded in current scene in natural bodybuilding.

I personally do not mind it ( ie the way the females look being a full blown heterosexual, except I don’t agree with the implants…looks a little ridiculous). My opinion is that females, like males, should develop their physiques as much or as little as they want.

That is why there are different categories. The female open bodybuilders look way bigger and muscular, that is for sure.

If that is their choice, then so be it. But that also has to do with those that compete in bikini, figure etc. They chose to compete in these categories because many of them like looking like sexy women.

They choose to do it. No one is putting a gun to their heads.

The men have to go through hell too, with the diets to get shredded to the bone. It is their choice to do so too.

But that is one thing I do not agree with, the shredding aspect. It is not healthy, but hey, I am just a host, and I would rather host a natural event than one that encourages steroid abuse.

At least the athletes aren’t taking dangerous cycles of Performance enhancing drugs.

Again, the choice is yours. I would like for you to be onstage and receive your prize, and speak your mind.

It is not often that women get honoured in this field, and because you truly are THE PIONEER, this would be very fitting.

It would definitely motivate all the women competing.

Best regards

Carlos

                Hi Carlos,

           {I explained to him in an earlier letter that God said such a trip & event might trigger another heart attack – which could be the end for me}     But you aren’t even sure the President would want to honour me this way or would like to give me air time to speak, or would want me to give my honest opinions. I’ve been this road before. I once thought I had a friend who was helping me – an insider – who was all gung ho about me. He was helping me put together the history of what happened while I was gone {in the bb field} – something I really needed.

        He invited me to speak on his blog. I did so When he discovered what I really thought, {which was feminist oriented} he was horrified, & kept telling me how to change my posts ‘ Don’t say this, don’t say that, etc.’ He took away my freedom of speech so I left the blog.

        And he became my enemy. He called Dan Lurie & tried to persuade him NOT to give me the Progenitor award or put me into the Hall of Fame! He & his female friends stated they did not believe I was a good representative for female bb because I posed nude! Here I got it started & the female bb’s either did not know who I was or else they condemned me for my adult trade work They were not grateful because no one promoted me as being worthy of gratitude – Joe Weider & Arnold were a monopoly & they worked against me. That was my fate.

        You have your points about all that you say. We both have opinions, so what? The promoters do what they want to do – we’re just observers.  They did the work, spent the time & money. In your view, the contestants do it because they want to. You’re right. The one contest I read about it’s a BEAUTY contest & a fitness contest, not a ‘body building’ contest strictly speaking. So everyone agrees to do it – be my guest.

        There is nothing wrong with such a contest. But I just observed the RULES are different for male & female. Males can do certain things – females can’t. Different type contest.  But in the drug contests anything goes. Different contest. Is there such a thig as ‘good’ or ‘bad?’ Depends who’s looking, from what point of view. Maybe they’re all good, even the drug contests, they prove a point.

        Perhaps this discussion would be salient in the book you’re planning about me.

        BTW – I did not come upon what PRIZES are given financial or otherwise. Do you know about that?

        About the natural contests: I was in contact with a female black bb journalist {passed away} named ‘Iron Eyes.’ She was a colunist for a bb magazine & we spoke – she wrote abut me there.

        She told me this,

        ‘The IFBB initiated drug testing & what happened was the black body builders maintained good muscle, but the whites did not. So they stopped the testing.’

        I do notice – look at the winners – mosty black. So black people finally have a chance to stand tall & win because all the years they suffered as slaves working like animals, here is their reward, however little it may be.

        Once black females had no chance of winning our beauty contests in the 70’s. Because societal culture said they were not as beautiful as whites – prejudice. But here Patsy Chapman won one of the first bb contests – it as 1979. When MUSCLES were the criteria, prejudice went by the wayside. A place for black people to shine! In fact look at the professional scene – Iris Kyle is the ‘greatest’ bb of all time – male or female – & she is black. That in terms of how many contests she won.

        If this venue would honour me I’d be very grateful. But can I turn back the hands of time & eliminate the 3 heart attacks I had in 2017? I don’t like to talk about ailments but last time my heart doctors examined me they said I should have open heart surgery. I refused & will take my chances – no surgery, no stents. I’m relying on God & the plant diet to heal me & live as long as I need to to finish my work. So if I die in the course of hoping to get this recognition – which is not even for certain they’ll give me it – I could not finish my God-ordained work.

        I have to compose the New Religion for Women – which is maybe 80% done.  Need to create a BLUEPRINT for a bona fide Matriarchal Order – which would be the first of its kind in America or maybe the Western world. This is about 50% done.This is no walk in the park – I need my mind & heart to be clear, focused & on point. Need to rewrite the Catholic Catechism – & include in this the teachings of Yoga & Wicca  – a Mother-God centered POV. I need a few more years to do this – one doc in 2017 said if I was lucky I’d live 3 to 10 more years – with surgery. I had no surgery. It’s been 8 years. God told me I’ll live to 91-92. This will give me enough time – I just turned 80.

        How I’d love to be on this stage & get all the love & kudos you want me to have. But I will have to be content with history. I am history. Represent me from where I am now – an armchair General, sitting at my desk, recalling my life & explaining what needs to lie ahead – from my POV.

Thanks for caring –  Rasa

PS I was sent by God to do what I did & am doing. I also was the vessal of Our Lady of Fatima who prevented World War III – the Our Lady of Fatima Speech in front of the White House June 1978. I am not given credit for that – probably after I die. She ended Communism. I give all the details on my Kellie site.  Now I must move on with what I explained, recognition or not. My reward is in Heaven, bottom line. I had to claw my way to the top from this pit explainineg how I got female bb started – then it finally got recognized as reality – real history. No one did it for me – no one stood up for me – only scorned me. I had to fight all by myself with the help of one friend {Pete}. That’s life. This is a testing ground, not a paradise, this is not heaveny, it’s travail. What I need now is you or someone like you – bona fide historians, not sock puppets of the Weider/Arnold monoply – to simply give me credit & explain why – case closed. That is all. For me to physically endure what I did before no longer seems feasible – the travel, the carrying my own suitcases, the stress. Body can’t take it.

His earlier letter – 8-23-25

Hi Rasa

I have an even better idea.

I  could speak to the president of the Mr America competition and have you come as a special guest. I think you deserve the recognition and I am going to ask him to present you with an award, the first Ms America hall of fame. If you like, you can also be a guest speaker and talk about the evolution of women’s bodybuilding. I  could even interview you on a live stage.  The show is broadcast nationally so you would get huge exposure. 

Let me know what you think. 

It’s only 7 weeks away.

Best regards Carlos 

College of the Gender War, Core Tenets

To be Honored – Shall I Go for It?

8-23-25

Hi Rasa

I  could speak to the president of the Mr America competition and have you come as a special guest. I think you deserve the recognition and I am going to ask him to present you with an award, the first Ms America hall of fame. If you like, you can also be a guest speaker and talk about the evolution of women’s bodybuilding. I  could even interview you on a live stage.  The show is broadcast nationally so you would get huge exposure. 

Let me know what you think. 

It’s only 7 weeks away.

Best regards Carlos 

College of God & Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

The World has Ended – Purgatory Begins

8-15-25 Nightmare – The World has Ended – Purgatory Begins

          I was some place with many people just enjoying life – can’t recall what we were doing. This goes on for a while.

          Suddenly the entire sky changes. There are walls of darkish grey as far as the eye can see going upward, a dark wall, then a kind of normal sky but not perfectly normal – halfway, maybe it’s a light gray partition. And we are now surrounded by these dark walls like lets say one is  a hundred miles wide & goes up as far as you can see then a light gray one the same size, then another dark one, & we are completely surrounded by this.

          We KNOW it is an ACT OF GOD & we are all frightened out of our wits & know this is THE END OF THE WORLD. God has SPOKEN & there is nothing we can do to change it.

          Some time goes by, the nightmare ends, & we are once again in pleasant surroundings, talking normally to our friends.

          MEANING:

          *{Wow. This is a frightening vision of us when we die SUDDENY – life is OVER – & we’re in another dimension – the metaphysical/spiritual one. For two days dreaming of little Rebecca – today & tomorrow. Maybe this is what she experienced, one moment enjoying earthly life, the next, it’s ll over & we are in Eternity.

          The WALLS that come up are similar to the BARS that came up over a large group of people I once saw walking on the ‘broad highway to Hell.’ They walked like zombies, suddenly bars came up & surrounded them, & then flames shot up from the earth, they were all screaming but couldn’t get out – Obviously stressful to me to see this.

          Of course this is not the same. In Purgatory they are SAVED & enter ‘God’s waiting room.’ They know thy will see God but the great suffering of waiting begins. And they can do nothing about it, life is over it’s out of their hands, the Will of God has acted & they can only wait & hope. Cannot help themselves any more.

The walls represent the Will of God, its finality & the fact that Purgatory is LIMITED – not ike heaven which is Infinity opened up.}*   {End}

          Another scene:

          Was earlier. I see my Mom getting into a vehicle, the car is facing me, I see her get behind the wheel. But the vehicle EXPLODES INSIDE & I fear she has been killed & will be all covered with burns all over her body.

          I run to her thinking she’s dead, but she’s alive & no burns. She looks beautiful & young – kind of like a light skinned Hindu – she’s asleep. I grab a soft blanket, put it around her, remove her from the car & carry her away.

          MEANING:

          *{The NEXT DAY I dream of the scene of a car accident. I know Little Rebecca was young when she died because she showed me in a past dream herself & her college girl friends. So it is more likely she died like this than some kind of physical malady.

          The EXPLOSION would be the accident.  Why is it my Mom? I am mentally taking her place I guess, seeing what she experienced, as if it was me. Mom would be the SOUL {God Self} living on forever, so she is not dead. But in the flesh that part is ‘asleep.’ It also seems Rebecca was a light skinned Hindu – maybe – or a different nationality than American. And her face is beautiful, so maybe she was.}*   {End}

  • Girl with Flowers all over her front

This could be important – maybe little Rebecca with a big improvement.

Not sure how it began but I see a girl in front of me who has on a fuzzy top, red with huge black checks on it – which means suffering. But on top she has several bunches of flowers, some like bouquets; one maybe like a corsage. They are all colors. One bunch near her heart looks like Spring flowers, can’t recall exactly what the others were.  Yes I think this is little Rebecca improved.

MEANING:

*{What do flowers represent? Love. One gives flowers to show love. She has received Love – the Holy Masses & prayers I’ve been doing.

This tells me she is STILL in Purgatory, but much happier. The RED is BLOOD of present suffering {Purple blood is long lived or long past.} And the BLACK CHECKS are the Cross of Jesus – crucified.}*   {End}

Another Dream

I keep going back to a place where there’s been an ACCIDENT. It’s like a restaurant/filling station – perhaps someone was killed. This is maybe the 3rd time I return & I always recognize this is the place because there is a lot of broken glass – the kind that fractures into a guzillion little pieces – the new kind of glass.

This most recent time as I pull in I see the Chef of the restaurant also pulling in, maybe a Hindu, dark wavy hair. We look at each other – a silent hello.

*{Why am I here? Not sure. Possibly a soul in Purgatory I’m attending to died here & he or she wants to return to the scene, through my eyes?  Could it be Little Rebecca as I’m attending to her daily?}*   {End}

College of the Gender War, Core Tenets

Total Recollection – of Arnold – lol

Total Recollection – Meeting Arnold Schwarzenegger

          OK it’s 2025 – this was 1972 – 53 years ago. I wish he would forget me. I wish he’d never thought about me after that fateful day but the wishes went on deaf ears…..

          I’m so excited! It’s my first fitness/beauty type contest. The Brooklyn Academy of Music and it was a big deal as not only did we have our contest but a men’s deal also with Franco Columbu & Arnold Schwarzenegger guest posers.

          I had a magazine with Franco on the cover – I would show it to him & ask for an autograph. Here I go. He’s sitting on a bench I walk behind him & present the tome. Did not even notice the guy to his left. The image someone snapped shows it to be Arnold looking at my cleavage in the beautiful one-piece bathing suit.

          Franco & I, not sure what we said. It seemed we were friendly.

          Next thing I know I’m standing somewhere around there & Arnold’s to my right. A photographer in front of us wants to snap a photo but Arnold makes a gesture not to.

          Then he says to me,

          “I vant to suck your nipples.”

          I sounded so funny, I felt like laughing. Of all the pick up lines I ever heard, this was a first. So I go along with the humor & say something like,

          “If you also suck my downstairs part.”

Next thing I know he gestures me to follow him. I am curious. Why do I do it? Wanting to find out if he’s serious or is it some kind of gag?

Well, he was serious. We walk past what seems like a couple football fields covered by dusty curtains here & there, dim lights. Now a wall greets me, I have my back to it & the Oak is in front of me dealing with one breast.

Now he parks on his knees, pulls aside my crotch & sticks his tongue into my twat. Yes, he’s serious.

The next thing is a huge black bodybuilder has discovered us – Arnold doesn’t see him as he has his back to the path. He goes away & within a minute or two he’s back but with Franco!

Talk about embarrassing! Arnold caught by the two men on his knees, his tongue up my yoni & Franco says,

“Kellie, I thought you were my girl?”

I stumble aside, now Arnold is getting up, & I quip – not knowing what else to say –

“I can be both your girl.”

Arnold bellows,

“No!”

And that’s it. We all go our merry way – Arnold & Franco do their guest posing – impressive, & they look exactly alike except Arnold is tall & Franco is short.

And I do my posing, receiving 2nd place Miss Americana & Best Body – Arnold was a judge.

That’s about it. Then for the rest of our body building careers, I have had to pay for that sin – rejecting Arnold. I know things he did & suspect others, but to list all that am not eager to do right now – will be the next article.   {End}

College of God & Love, Core Tenets

Souls in Purgatory Helped & 5 Ascensions!

8-10-9-2025 I entertain in splendor – Bro opens up cushy house

          I’m some kind of STAR in some kind of show & am dressed in splendor – all white. A white HEADDRESS – white splendid top & pants, all glistening, glowing, have luxurious things over them like sequins or pearls or rhinestones & my SHOES are PLATFORMS, that make me 5” taller – they are all JEWELED – white also.

          The audience sees me on a screen in the air – like a movie. But then I appear in person, suddenly sailing over to a large crowd, all of whom are sitting.

          I’m on an elevated stage, very long like a runway. I get in front of one table that has several men & a couple women. The men, one has almost white hair, one salt & pepper, wavy, short, & they’re AFRAD to LOOK UP at me, they look at each other sheepishly, although I try to reassure them not to be afraid to look, they are & because of their light hair I ask if they are IRISH but they don’t answer, just sheepishly smile at each other, especially the one on the right with gray hair, & I move on the stage, toward the right. Underneath me I know is a brown wooden stage/runway.

          I then see on the left is a PRIEST is speaking to these people about 100 of them. He’s in a PODIUM high up on the left corner.

          After I have made this appearance I not walk but GLIDE on the air VERY FAST, back to where I started.

          I am also VERY TALL here on stage besides the shoes – like 8’ tall, so I am a phenomenon & very beautiful. {Tallness is spiritual stature}

          I am then ALONE with the Priest & in a bikini, relaxed. I’m beautiful & sexy looking & the poor priest can relax with me, without all the constraints, restraints, usually put upon him. He’s human he should be able to just relax with me, talk, chit chat, have a pleasant time.  He was working so hard to speak to those people, to reach them.

         People expect SO MUCH of him. They are DEMANDING. But I want him to have a BREAK.

          So these 2 old ladies come to the front door – it’s now my aunt/uncle’s house – asking to see him. They are the traditional, restrained type, who are ‘respectable’ & right with society, & therefore they think they have a RIGHT to see the priest, like all depends on STATUS & societal respectability.

          I go toward the door & see him back to the right & he does NOT want to see them & I don’t blame him & want to shield him, & he tells me to tell them he went to SLEEP from exhaustion, which I gladly pass on.   {End}

          MEANING:

          *{This is about souls in Purgatory but also re a new man I met who is doing outside work for me – a guy that has turned out to be sent by God – so far, so good. He’s the one seen sitting at the table with his family – gray hair – & afraid to look up at me. This shows his HUMILITY in real life but also it’s representative of someone in Purgatory – & his  {physical} family not sure why they are there but I AM talking to them a bit, maybe they are all part of this Blessing.

          I’m appearing in SPIRITUAL SPLENDOR, all the raiment of the Light of God, the Gifts of God which elevate me so you see I’m 8’ tall & wearing those ‘platform’ heels which represent the CROSS of Jesus {you can’t get higher, you’ve given your life} that I have apparently shared. And the GLIDING is also a SUPERNATURAL ability – we don’t walk when we ascend, we fly or glide or just instantly appear or disappear like Star Trek, lol.

In my dreams where I appear before an audience – it’s always symbolic of appearing to Purgatorial souls, and when I do so I apparently bless them and bring them Grace from God.  The floor being wood also represents the Wood of the Cross – I’ve been martyred {Divine Interior Stigmata} so I no longer am ON I but I GLIDE over it.

Who is the Priest? I believe or sense he is also this same man who is now working for me but he also represents a soul in Purgatory – like they may be one in personality or character.

This man I hired is HELD IN CONTEMPT by some others whom I have spoken to. These would be the OLD TRADITIONAL LADIES at the door – those of STATUS/respectability who feel themselves superior – while he is inferior because he is not as respectable. We are in the house of my Aunt/Uncle at this point, which means pain or punishment. And he is TIRED of the contempt, people looking down on him – he needs rest from that! And by respecting him I give him rest or comfort.

This man who is in Purgatory might have been a Priest – a good one, sincere, high up spiritually, trying to save souls. So here he is seen high up in a podium speaking to a hundred people but he gets EXHAUSTED trying to help others. The others don’t APPRECIATE him whilst he tries to help them get closer to God – {been there, done that!}

In real life – the man I hired also did incredible work – exhausting to some, but he acted like he was not. I got tired just following him around, watching & chatting with him. He was the OPPOSITE of all the other guys I interviewed for work. They were losers; arrogant, lazy, broken down physically, not skilled, not eager to work but scheming to make a fortune off me doing as little as possible. I tried out about 6 characters like that this year. One even had a DEMON OF MURDER – a 21 year old guy – who afflicted me, which case Little Rebecca from Purgatory prayed for me & got me healed me of his effects!

Me being in the bikini & he & I just relaxing & lounging about – this is how this new guy felt with me, because I did not put on airs, I showed him some of my ‘faults’ so to speak – not actual faults but judgmental society would put them as such  – I did not act like I was superior. I did not pretend to be ‘Miss All’ whilst he does not have a car or a phone has been through AA rehab recently, & is down on his luck. Picking him up & taking him back for work takes me two hours daily – as it’s a half hour one way. But I must admit HE IS WORTH IT.

So he and a soul in Purgatory are ONE – he is the Priest, he is the man in gray hair who fears to look up at me in my splendor.}*   {End}

Earlier dream, a day or 2 ago – Brother & House – 5 Souls Ascended – His Clients

          We’re all at my Aunt/Uncle’s house – who I’m not sure. Next door is a house I really LOVE, much more than this one. I wish I could go there. I’m standing in front of it with whoever I’m with – that I can’t IDENTIFY. But somehow I cannot ENTER this house as it isn’t MINE.

          Then to my surprise my brother comes by & gets a key out & puts it in the front door & easily open the door. Terrific! But is it alright for me to go in? Do I have permission? I do go in & explore two floors. The feeling is so CUSHIONY – all bluish cushions. And it’s split level & on the 3rd floor I find 5 sleeping places all next to each other, that same cushiony feeling – not beds just spots with some kind of thick blankets, no space between them so I surmise there were 5  in the family sleeping here.

          *{My brother: It’s either my biological brother using my portal to help his clients n Purgatory – this would be the first time – or a Saint that I can call ‘brother’ doing the same thing. My biological bro actually LIVED in this particular house – I think my Mom owned it but bought it for him. And next door, my aunt/Uncle’s house is pain or punishment.}*

          Then I tell them my favorite area in this house was the LIVING ROOM – it’s the most OPEN & has the best view through glass walls. Can we go there? We do.

          So the feeling was really GOOD here.

          And I RARELY have ever dreamed of my biological brother so wonder what this means.

          MEANING:

          *{Someone, seen as my brother, uses my portal to open up a place having to do with souls in Purgatory. This is unusual so I need your hel, Mother God.

          MG:  It’s HIS clients, so he has the KEY & this has to do with 5 souls.

          When a Saint uses you as a portal it’s a COLLABORATION. You could not REACH his clients by yourself – he could not help them without your portal – a true partnership or symbiosis.

          It all being CUSHIONY must be GRACE from God. The Holy Spirit is the COMFORTER.

          The 5 beds being now EMPTY indicates they ASCENDED. Why you have not seen the usual festivities? Perhaps because it isn’t necessary – it’s HIS clients & I suppose he saw them, but you are being shown what happened, & that is enough!}*   {End}

8-11-25 Little Rebecca IMPROVED!

          It’s between two bars. I’m going to one bar that has a set of characters, later to another.

          There was a SPECIAL FEMALE who is depicted as Rachel – a body builder, but this is sense image material – it’s NOT about her – I know she’s a SYMBOL for ‘Little Rebecca.”

          After hanging around in th first bar I’m sitting at the 2nd. One quirky scene is I’m showing someone an imprinted mostly green design on my lower back, right above the buns, & I say,

          “This appeared from sitting so long at this bar.”

          Then Rachel enters our bar & she is a SPECIAL GUEST. She sits with her back against a wall in one scene & in another, she’s to my left & she has a plate of food that’s been given her here. It has a few French fries & what looks like a couple poached eggs – an abstemious plate. I wager she’s looking out not to gain weight. She also has something else but I can’t define what on her left – a drink maybe – & she has a friend with her to her left, who also I can’t identity.

          She has the sweetest personality, young & innocent & I feel protective of her.

          When she sits against the wall she’s at the end of the bar facing the room with a male person to my left & myself sort of facing her.

          The male is too aggressive, he’s talking to her but instead of speaking a bit louder he gets way too close to her & I berate him for this, saying & demonstrating,

“You don’t have to be IN HER FACE” to be heard, just speak louder! And I demonstrate what he’s doing – getting close to her face – for a moment.

          The thing is, Rachel is BEAUTIFUL & he’s turned on by her so he’s being too forward & I’m PROTECTING her.           {End}

          MEANING:

          *{This is Little Rebecca, a soul in Purgatory, who I started saying Gregorian Masses for on July 28 – it’s been 14 days. This shows SHE’S BECOME BEAUTIFUL!

          This means her soul’s been greatly CLEANSED & that’s how it works – the more cleansed we are of the results of SIN, the more beautiful we get in the pristine quality of how we started – before sin – we were beautiful then. And after the cleansing we’re beautiful again.

          Her release is immanent – perhaps days – even less – but bells aren’t ringing yet – no fireworks, no party yet but soon!

          The FOOD on her plate & drink is the Body & Blood of Jesus. The friend on her left is her Guardian Angel. They stay with us until we ascend.

          I had been wondering if Little Rebecca was improved, so this answers it. Whoopee do! If she rises before I finish the Gregorian it automatically goes to other souls, so nothing is lost.

          Who is the man making a play for her? I have no idea, he might just be an actor to portray ‘she’s beautiful – desirable’ like I recall before Errol Flynn’s ascension a female was saying how beautiful he was – but her identity was hidden. Perhaps in both cases it’s a soul in Purgatory or even an Angel?

          Oh yes a detail I was about to tell her how well developed her legs were when the man talking to her interrupted me. Legs, their strength are a symbol of MYSTICAL POWER & the ability to go some place – as we move with our legs. So yes she’s getting ready to GO to heaven!   {End}

College of the Gender War, Core Tenets

Maria Shriver and Kellie Everts

Maria Shriver and Kellie Everts 1979

Maria Sriver – Kellie Everts – 1979

          Maria Shriver joined Arnold Schwarzenegger at the Warminster, Pa. fbb show, where she expected to see Kellie Everts. She said Arnold had said ‘Kellie will be here.” But she wasn’t, so Maria called Kellie in NYC and proposed a documentary. {Kellie wanted to compete in the show but her Dad died and she went all the way to Spain for the funeral. She was fasting & bore her perfect weight, but her grief prevailed. Her body did look immaculate at 132 lbs, however and you can see in Maria’s documentary how good she looked.}

This resulted in the nine minute saga of {1} Kellie praying in St. Malachy’s Church, W.49th St, {2} training at Mid City Gym, 345 W 42nd St

and {3} Preaching and Stripping at Harlow’s 242 E 79th.  When she finished the piece at the gym, she literally had to run through the streets of New York in her red velvet bathrobe covering the skimpy suit to her next show at Harlows – no one took notice, ‘only in New York.’

          Maria loved the sermon as Kellie stated anyone who disrespected the Holy Virgin did not deserve Heaven – she nodded as Kellie glanced at her.

          They portrayed Kellie’s entire act, including the nudity – you could see her breasts swinging in the air –the details fuzzed out by camera.

          When Maria appeared to Kellie, she was ‘dressed down’ – no makeup, plain as can be. And when she said her boyfriend was a body builder Kellie asked which one. She said “his name is Arnold.”

          “Arnold Schwarzenegger?”

          Kellie asked in disbelief. She said yes. She had promised Maria an amusing anecdote re Arnold but when she saw her eyes like pools of love in the moonlight, she changed her mind. No need to hurt her, she made up some triviality.

          But Maria did not keep her promise to give Kellie a copy of the tape. She could not even see the show as it was local to Baltimore, Md. But when she worked at the 2 o’Clock Club she popped over to the station to ask for a copy. The manager, a cold young man, sat her down in his cubicle.

          He said sternly,

          “It is not our policy to give out copies of the show”

          He did say the show had the highest ratings that month.

          “Can’t you make an exception?”

          “Absolutely not”

         He then excused himself on some errand. Kellie sat there and pulled out her rosary and prayed. The Inner Voice told her,

          “Get up and walk.”

          She did so and a minute later came upon a cubicle where a young man sat with her picture on his desk in a frame!

          They exchanged greetings, he was warm as toast. Kellie asked him if he could make her a copy of her show. He said sure, & quickly did it.

          She took the precious tape and went back to the manager’s cubicle where he promptly returned and said,

          “You still here?”

          “I was just leaving,”

          and exited.

          Condensed version:

          In 1979 Maria Shriver, the future wife of Arnold Schwarzenegger produced a nine minute documentary on Kellie Everts, which featured her praying in a Church, training in a gym, and preaching/strip teasing at a Club. It was the most popular presentation of that month at the station in Baltimore, Md.

          Of Kellie’s many books there are three that cover her body building stint. They are:

          “The Man Whisperer”  {2024  page 110 with rare photos} – which gives a Time Table of all she did in the sport:

https://www.lulu.com/shop/pete-jackson-and-william-bond-and-rasa-von-werder/the-man-whisperer/paperback/product-v8j9q5k.html?page=1&pageSize=4

          “I Strip for God” part 9 – The Life in my Men  {2022 page 124}

          Documents the relationships of Kellie Everts which were Mr Universe, Mr Americas: Mickey Hargitay, Vern Weaver, Harold Poole, Franco Columbu, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dennis Tinerino, Boyer Coe, Chris Dickerson and Reg Lewis

https://www.lulu.com/shop/rasa-von-werder/i-strip-for-god-part-9/paperback/product-m8572p.html?page=1&pageSize=4

          The Origin and Decline of Female Body Building  {2009}

Explains how the genre of female body, at that time did not exist, how it got started, flourished, and began to decline after the year 2000, when men got frightened by Kim Chizevsky and changed the rules. Then when Weider sold out to AMI IN 2003 it was relegated down to a subculture.

https://www.lulu.com/shop/kellie-everts/the-origin-decline-of-female-body-building/paperback/product-1v8555jy.html?page=1&pageSize=4

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