College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

MOM & BRO ARE SORRY

MOM & BRO ARE SORRY

3-10-21 earthly MOM wants to make up-Be close to God

in good times as well

as bad

I’m at the old farm house & my human Mom & bro are here. We’re in the living room, & Mom has a lot of her clothes piled up on the left couch & some place else – & she says to me, she wants me to try on these two tops, see if they fit me.

I look at one. It’s pale pink with short sleeves, it might be too small for me but it stretches, I put it on & it fits ok. It has like at least 3 ‘ribs’ in front or pleats made of the same soft, almost shiny material. It has an unusual smell – not perfume, not good or bad, an average smell, maybe it’s her smell, not sure.

Then I see a tan top of a twill material, stiff, that I know will be too small for me–it’s for an infant size. I ask her if that’s the other one, but she says no, it’s the white one.

*(HUMAN MOM: This is the third day in a row she appears to me, it’s in commemoration of her death. What is God doing here?
She’s in Heaven, not in a high place, with my brother.
Her wanting to give me two tops, that come out of her own wardrobe, is wanting to give me GIFTS. They would be part of her SPIRITUAL TOOL BOX or GIFT BOX. Since they cover the UPPER BODY which includes HEART these must be GIFTS OF LOVE. Mother God, what are the vertical ribs in front?

MOMGOD: RIBS IN FRONT are stripes, ‘by his stripes we are healed.’ They might represent SCOURGING, being over the CHEST they have to do with EMOTIONAL PAIN. She’s offering you the grace she received for HER OWN EMOTIONAL PAIN – saying, ‘This I can give you, my grace for my own pain, as a gift.’

ME: And how do you figure the white top? And what is the twill infant top that is not meant fo rme?

MOMGOD: The white could be several things in the context of this dream. The most likely idea is ‘My motives toward you are WHITE/PURE, I will not deceive or betray you this time.’ {She trapped me several times into a place where she betrayed me or double/crossed me–cruel stuff.})*

However, there is a SCENT that goes along with her first gift which is OF HER & it portrays someone that is not a HOLY SAINT, but rather an ordinary being – the SCENT FROM SAINTS is Heavenly or inebriating – this is not like that, it’s ORDINARY.

I’m not rejecting her gifts of love, but also am not blissed out. The ‘turn off’ was the smell. It seems also that I’m CONSIDERING what she wants to give me but not necessarily ACCEPTING them. Just EXAMINING them, trying them on. )*

There’s also something to do here with a restaurant serving a meal. My bro has gotten some food – it’s a salad. He said,

“I don’t want to eat my salad alone.”

I think he was saying that Mom left his side to be talking to me, he wanted her or someone there so he could enjoy his meal with them.

*(Then my brother is also receiving food, starting with SALAD & wants to SHARE it, I think with Mom, not me, but wants her to pay attention to him rather than me. If this is so, it’s a strange ‘sibling rivalry’ sense for being in Heaven.
LEAVES like this – are symbols of VICTORY or SUCCESS. He wants to share his success. What this success is, I suppose, is that he made it to Heaven.

An alternative meaning could be that he wants to SHARE his victory of being in Heaven with me – since Mom wants to give me gifts, he wants to share this. Could be more likely than the sibling rivalry slant. It might be the three of us ‘reconciling’ or burying the hatchet – which I never had, they abused me, I did not abuse them. So this says they’re sorry I guess……My uncle also raised his head around this time from Heaven & said he was sorry I was abused & none of them stood up for me. He hated my Mom because she tried to break him up with his fiancé before they married – he knew what she was like & with my Dad, knew she was an abusive, devious person. But not one of them interviewed me, commensurated with me, or said anything to the family except once, when they all ganged up on me at the dinner table {it was the event when they kidnapped my daughter & were planning to have me declared an unfit mother, so they could have her – as I was the only person who had produced a child in the family} including Uncle, he said ‘None of you can judge her.’ That was the one & only time. )*

*(ME TO MOMGOD: What is going on here? The last two days before this her appearing to me was unpleasant. The dream of yesterday was so unpleasant I did not even try to recall & record it, & today, this. It’s extremely unusual.

MOMGOD: She is trying to reconcile with you. She is ashamed & embarrassed by what she did to you & compared to you, is in a lower state. When you look at the stature of a great saint in Heaven & this, her gifts are PALTRY, you look at her with sadness.

ME: OK, so I am not blissed out by her efforts. What am I supposed to be doing, be more grateful? Or is it ok if I just say ‘fine, I accept the gifts, but don’t expect me to get excited about them. What am I supposed to feel?

MOMGOD: You have forgiven her from long ago, but you will never feel great emotion for her, your brother, or aunt, or anyone who gave you grief. Jesus would not have felt blissed out if & when Judas repented, said he was sorry, & gave the Lord some paltry love. Jesus would have accepted it but certainly not jumped up & down with joy – same if the High Priest, or any of his torturers, or Pharisees, finally repented & gave him some love. He would have appreciated it but not gotten ‘emotional.’ So you appreciate this, like,
“Thanks Mom, I’m glad you have straightened yourself out,”
& that’s about it.
As far as your brother goes, he’s even less to get excited about as he feels he’s a success, & you’re happy for him, but his success is tiny. Just like her, he barely made it to Heaven. He is far from sainthood. But you’re glad he made it, so this might be his announcement to you that he succeeded.)*

……………………………………………………………………………..

TUNA FISH, GRANDMA

I was at my uncle’s house & we were working to fill the house with proper food, stocking up supplies. The house is a combination of more than one house I have known like here, some place else, but its appearance is vague.

(UNCLE: In my vocabulary Aunt & Uncle are punishment. This doesn’t make sense as Uncle is providing FOOD. Could it be saying that through punishment nourishment will be given?
The house is undetermined, could be saying I don’t know where I am, what state of consciousness I am in or what state in life.)

Then I see this large beige paper bag on a table, my Grandma is sitting at to the right. I open it & Uncle has gotten a huge supply of TUNA SALAD, fixed in blocks like the Haddock filets I have here, like 7″ long, 2″ deep, they are encased in saran wrap – just the size for subs.

(TUNA SALAD: FISH is a symbol of CHRISTIANITY. It seems a strange dichotomy that NOURISHMENT is joined up with PUNISHMENT. It could be saying by our present SUFFERINGS we’re getting the greatest NOURISHMENT – & today’s suffering would be epitomized by my lady friend getting cancer. This BAD SITUATION is bringing God closer to our entire family – all of us are participating in the pain my lady friend is going through.)

I’m startled that he got us all this which should feed the family a long time, but there isn’t room in the fridge for this large of a bag. I have gotten a small fridge, like 2′ square, I take it to the cellar, put it into some kind of open box against the wall, to the left, put the fridge there & the bag fits.

I come up & tell Grandma & whoever is listening,

(GRANDMA: The deep, unconscious self. I am becoming AWARE of how suffering brings spiritual nourishment, that’s the subject of this dream.)

“I was happy about the tuna but there wasn’t room in the fridge. I brought my own fridge, put it in the cellar, & when we need some we get it from there.”

(FRIDGE: A REFRIGERATOR IS A STOREHOUSE where things are kept so they don’t spoil. In this case we’re saying SPIRITUAL GRACES ARE AVAILABLE, WITHIN US, but we access them at certain times. This is saying we can access these graces at any time, not only when we’re suffering.)

I felt I had done a good deed to donate the fridge. But then I add,

“I forgot to look in our SECOND FRIDGE’ {which stands opposite the first one on the other corner of the room} because maybe it had room. Anyway, it’s fine in the small fridge in the cellar, except we have to walk down there when we want the tuna.”

(IN THE CELLAR, WE HAVE TO WALK DOWN THERE TO GET THE TUNA: A cellar represents the lower life, the lower self, degrees of Purgatory or Hell – it is DESCENING TO THE DEPTHS. So again, this says when we descend to the depths of misery, be it anxiety, fear, depression, confusion, uncertainty – when we go to these depths we also get NOURISHED SPIRITUALLY as ‘Blessed are the poor.’)

I felt maybe I was remiss as I forgot the second fridge upstairs & did the cellar deal, that people would have to go to the trouble of walking down there & getting it – a slight imposition.

(WALKING DOWN THERE, A SLIGHT IMPOSITION: This might be saying to myself that we should not have to descend into trials to get nourished spiritually, we should find some way of getting ahead spiritually without suffering. In other words, let us love God just as much when we’re not miserable, let’s be close to God all the time, not just then.)

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

STATES RESISTING FASCISTS

STOP FASCISM NOW!

Is The Overton Window Finally Shifting?

SATURDAY, MARCH 6, 2021

A year ago in March 2020, the Overton window of what is considered socially and politically acceptable had abruptly shifted in a highly authoritarian and even totalitarian direction due to the COVID-19 pandemic and the response of our “leaders” to it. What was once unthinkable had become unquestionable (and vice-versa) within a matter of days to weeks, almost overnight. And once in place, the new restrictions (lockdowns, quarantines, business restrictions, school closures, gathering bans/limits, mask mandates, travel restrictions, etc.) have proven VERY difficult to undo in the climate of incessant and exaggerated fear that the authorities just kept on stoking, regardless of effectiveness or lack thereof and regardless of the very real collateral damage as well. It felt like the ruling Pharisees had slammed the proverbial gates of heaven in everyone’s faces and sent everyone a one-way ticket to hell, never to return again. Or so it seemed, at least.

(Diagram courtesy of Wikipedia)

But it now appears to be finally shifting back in the direction of liberty and civil/human rights. Little by little, and then eventually all at once at some point in the hopefully not too distant future. As of March 6, 2021, several states (17 already, and growing) are now abandoning this whole ship of fools and doing what Florida already did back in September and South Dakota already did last May–going cold turkey (or nearly so) later this month if not already. Once the first cracks and fissures in the facade appeared several months ago, it was only a matter of time before the proverbial dam would inevitably burst.

The last straw was most likely when they moved the goalposts for the gazillionth time recently when the establishment had the GALL to claim that we will still not going back to the true normal anytime soon even though we have all of the following now: 1) not one, not two, but THREE authorized vaccines now, 2) massively scaled-up virus testing since a year ago, 3) we KNOW how to effectively treat and prevent COVID now and have for a while, and 4) the virus has been in rapid retreat since January 2021, and even earlier in some places. And President Biden went back on his word and extended his famous “100 days of masks” to all of 2021 and perhaps even beyond (who was whispering in his ear this time?). So one can see how this would cause millions of people to say, “Enough already!”, thus marking the “social end” of the pandemic now or in the very near future. The establishment clearly overplayed their hand this time, and bit off far more than they could ever chew.

The lockdown and mask zealots and technocrats, now clearly on the defensive, are probably having a collective heart attack right now, or at least soiling their trousers, but tough noodles for them! They’ve already had their proverbial day in the sun for a whole year now (that was only supposed to be two or three weeks to “flatten the curve”, remember?) and now it’s long past time to start actually living again as humans qua humans. To the wretched New Abnormal we say, “Good riddance!” And God willing, may a century of liberty follow after we all say, “Never Again!” and really mean it.

By AJAX the GREAT – He might be the reincarnation of Buckminster Fuller

RASA VON WERDER SAYS: My opinion – it was NEVER ABOUT THE COVID. I believe they CREATED COVID & used it to facilitate tyranny. And if the states are rebelling then more power to them. I believe, with the other conspiracy students, that our country has created all or most of the ‘new diseases’ – I know they created AIDS, I have SEEN THE PROOF. The New York Blood Bank I believe created EBOLA. They want to use us like farm animals – microchip us, put us into camps, farms & cities like slaves & remove all our HUMAN RIGHTS. Who is they? The oligarchy, shadow govt, illuminati, secret rulers. I also believe our govt, mostly, under the orders of the shadow govt, has created all the terrorism attributed to individuals, including Tim McVeigh, all the school shootings, the Boston Marathon bombing, the Vegas bombing – everything – they did it all themselves. And if I & the conspiracy believers are finally being agreed with, then I am glad, & I hope the states pass all the laws necessary to non compliance with the tyrants, the oligarchs, the enemies of God & countries.

KitnBskt

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College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

END ENDLESS WARS WE CREATED

Time To End “Endless War”, Yesterday!

from Ajax the Great

SUNDAY, MARCH 7, 2021

As the True Spirit of America Party has long said time and again, “endless war” is NOT a sustainable strategy. In fact, it is not even a strategy at all, but a concept. And now we’re in the 20th year (!) of the war in Afghanistan, the 18th year of the Iraq War in some capacity, and several years into smaller ones like Yemen, Syria, and so on. And the first two are now presided over by their FOURTH President of the United States, and these wars have continued to be waged as usual even during a global pandemic.

Quagmire Accomplished, basically. And what have we as a nation actually accomplished during this relentless decades-long quagmire? Certainly nothing good on balance. Any strategic victories that did occur were exclusively at the very beginning, followed only by losses at the margin going forward. And a massive stack of dead bodies, of course. ISIL was ultimately routed for the most part, but lest we forget, they would not have even existed had we not invaded and destabilized Iraq in the first place. Thus the “cure” was much worse by than the disease.

As for Afghanistan, al-Qaeda was also routed and largely reduced to a nuisance, but then mission creep quickly set in. We almost had Bin Laden then “lost” him in Pakistan, then finally got him in 2011. Then we decided to stay there for some reason. Then ISIL went to Afghanistan to take advantage of the destabilization (even with American troops still there), and so on. And in the meantime, we managed to create terrorists faster than we could kill them.

The only winners here are the oligarchs who profit from this whole racket, quite literally making a killing, as noted by Major General Smedley Butler all the way back in his insightful 1935 book, War Is A Racket.

Thus, it is LONG past time to withdraw our troops from all of these wars quickly and responsibly. As Win Without War advocates, we need to combine our withdrawal with a commensurate humanitarian and diplomatic surge as well. We will likely need to implement some sort of Marshall Plan for the affected nations, financed by Monetary Sovereignty and of course the massive savings from cutting war spending. But withdraw we must, sooner or later. And yesterday is NOT soon enough!

The open-ended AUMFs both need to be repealed, and the authority for making war needs to be rightfully restored to Congress as per the US Constitution (hey, remember that thingy?). The War Powers Resolution needs to be greatly tightened in terms of its limits on the President to use military force, 1) only in true emergencies, 2) with an absolute hard limit of 90 days in the absence of Congressional authorization, and 3) strict liability for any consequences if the action turns out to be illegitimate. And all Congressional authorizations for military force must be either 1) a formal declaration of war, generally done against nation-states, or 2) a much more limited “Letter of Marque and Reprisal” against, and only against, members of specific terrorist and criminal organizations and syndicates named in the letter, which may also be acted upon by private entities as well. Both are explicitly authorized by the Constitution. No more vague and open-ended AUMFs, no more unilateral “policing the world”, and no more prolonged military occupations either.

All wars must follow Just War Theory criteria: 1) Just cause, 2) Right intention, 3) Proportionality of means, 4) Reasonable prospects of success, and 5) Last resort, among other criteria (but these are the core criteria). The war in question must also be in America’s national interest (not merely business interests!) as well. And the moment any one of these criteria is no longer met, the war must end, period. Spoiler alert: very few wars in our nation’s history have actually met all of these criteria.

For the record, the TSAP is 100% against bringing back the draft. One of the very few things that hippies, Barry Goldwater, and Ronald Reagan could all agree on was that the draft is a bad idea, period. We believe that the all-volunteer military is superior in every way, and conscription is a Machiavellian form of slavery, violating both the 13th Amendment as well as Kant’s categorical imperative. And while we should certainly eradicate poverty, thus eliminating the “poverty draft” (i.e. economic coercion), we should at the same time also pay our (smaller number of) troops what they are actually worth (which is a LOT more than what they are paid now!) so we should never run short of volunteers. Besides, as cynical as it sounds, a country that actually needs a draft to defend itself deserves to lose.

That said, if we really wanna smash this war racket for good, we would nonetheless support a form of “consensual conscription” in which any future war must be approved by a limited plebiscite (with a non-secret ballot!) of men and women of military age (which we define as 18-64) who are at least reasonably fit to serve and not obviously 4-F. Those who vote “yes” would be eligible to be drafted as necessary should we run short of volunteers, those who vote “no” would be exempt, and those who abstain from voting would be drafted next after all the “yes” voters are picked. Those who voted “yes” or abstained but then conveniently become “conscientious objectors” after being chosen will (if approved) then be assigned to do civilian service or perhaps join a “Human Shield Brigade” to protect civilians. In other words, if you don’t wanna be drafted, simply exercise your right and duty to vote “NO” to any military action that you personally find to be questionable, foolish, reckless, and/or immoral. And the incentive to go to war will thus evaporate when enough people with “skin in the game” vote “NO”, and we also ban war profiteering as well.

Thus, the Selective Service System should be placed back into “deep standby” with the registration requirement suspended indefinitely (like it was in 1975-1980) until it actually becomes necessary to reactivate registration in the event of a legitimately declared war. That is quick and easy to do with today’s technology, and in the meantime we have the Reserves and the National Guard as a temporary “bridge” in case God forbid an actual draft is needed. Thus, such registration is superfluous nowadays.

In a nutshell, when we finally take the profit out of war, then unsurprisingly the odds of actually going to war will surely approach zero going forward.

As Major General Smedley Butler famously said,

“TO HELL WITH WAR!”

And let the planetary healing begin!

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

LOVER BRINGS BOUQUETS

LOVER BRINGS BOUQUETS

3-8-21–LOVER brings bouquets-Creepy Family-Mom-bro & Marius-ugh-

other female & a dog with the guys-shitting men

I’m in a nice large room between two much-padded beds {white comforters} with bright white sheets all over them. Across from me on the other bed, while I’m here on this one – I’m standing, arms outstretched like fixing sheets – he sits facing me & we speak to one another.

We are NEGOTIATING on what’s next. It seems the idea is for us to be together, but he is uncertain & says,

“But how will this be FUNDED?”

I say,
“No matter what I tell you people, they don’t get it: I AM RICH. I will support us.”

He is elated & in the next scene he appears with 3 BOUQUETS OF FLOWERS for me. One, the closest, is in a pot, a bush with delicate sparse leaves, mint green, & it has only one blossom, which is a dark magenta, like a trumpet flower, not as big.

(POTTED FLOWER, CLOSEST TO ME: This is step one of our Union – my vagina being unavailable to him – dark magenta is painful or absence, dark is kin to black which is absence, red is in magenta which is suffering, there’s a touch of purple also which is long-suffering. This ONE FLOWER similar to the trumpet flowers where hummingbirds collect nectar, is the ONE VAGINA he cannot have but the one he wants. Being CLOSEST TO ME is what is happening NOW.
Being only one is I am special, he can have numerous females, but I am the one he wants, so being faithful will be second nature.)

Then in his arms he carried a huge amount of IRISES. One part of the bouquet is 4′ across & 2′ deep, the other part, it turns a corner & maybe 2′ more, same width. They are delicate, light green leaves, all next to one another, hundreds of them, pretty delicate flowers. As he holds them he has his back to me & they are pointing slightly away.

*(POINTING SLIGHTLY AWAY: This is the NEXT STEP or PHASE of us being together. The first bouquet was absence – the second is the beginning of being together & represents increments of time like days, weeks, months.

This is a LONG TIME & the time together will be all that is good according to the fleur de lis – it symbolizes all good.

IRIS – FLEUR DELIS: Through this legend the fleur-de-lis came to symbolize LIFE, PERFECTION & PURITY. “

“Most people may think it is the iris. However, in French, it is called “fleur-de-lis” or “fleur-de-lys,” meaning “flower of the lily.” Even the golden emblem of fleur-de-lis looks like a three-petal lily.”

The Lily is a Wedding Anniversary Symbol

We all know the thirtieth wedding anniversary stone is pearl; however lilies are often the flower that is associated with the 30th wedding anniversary also.

The symbol has rich religious & spiritual meaning

Allegedly, the fleur de lis also represents the Holy Trinity in the Church. The three petals of the design reflect this, with the band at the bottom symbolizing Mary. Until about the 1300’s, the fleur de lis were found in many depictions of Jesus.

The symbol is a Scouts symbol

The fleur de lis is the main element of the logo of most Scouting organizations because it represents a major theme for the organization: the outdoors and the wilderness, and it represents the three-fold Scout promise.”

ME: Mother God, give a concise analysis of this as it spreads far & wide.

MOTHER GOD: OK, the synopsis is you refuse him sex & this forces him to own up to a relationship. He is in a pickle as far as finances, you bail him out of that because you can support him – he is overjoyed you have the means & the will. He then surrenders himself & its long term, until you die.

Oh yes, the first bouquet, which is NOW, the one blossom is NEAR YOU & POINTS TO YOU. But the second huge bouquet, he has his back to you & the blossoms point away, because it PREDICTS THE FUTURE – the here, the will happen later bouquets.

You don’t know when exactly your time will end – that is the final bouquet of death.

You vaguely see it as bushes of dry branches with no leaves or flowers, so you are GONE. No more relationship on earth. See below.)*

Beyond that bouquet is a third one which I CANNOT SEE but know it’s there. He was OVERJOYED that I could & would TAKE CARE OF HIM FINANCIALLY, that makes us being together possible.
…………………………………………………………………………

UGLY DREAM, MY MOM & OTHERS

There is something here at my house. Tomorrow is the day Mom died, so I guess she appears to me for that occasion.

First, I am in the house with Marius Bernotas, her lover that she left Dad for. At first it’s innocent, but he says something that is inappropriate, luckily someone else comes into the room & he doesn’t get a chance to go any further. {Vaguely, I see a tic tac toe game with the symbols – most of the ‘equals’ symbol.}

I tell someone,
“I wouldn’t want to be alone with him.”

(WOULDN’T WANT TO BE ALONE WITH HIM: This shows a side of Marius you never saw – that he could be dangerous. You saw what he did to the helpless animals. Apply this to humans who would be vulnerable. {He kicked our pregnant cat Mitzi in real life & almost killed her – all her babies were still born.} He also beat the pregnant cow with a chain, then an iron bar. He also tethered her in the barn so she could only move a foot, had to stay standing up all night. She cried & cried. I was 9 yrs old. I tried to untie her but he had so many knots I couldn’t do it. All I could do was give her fruit to calm her down. Then he chased a female member of our family – who was harassing him – with a kitchen knife, & that was the end of him.})

I have never seen him so sinister before, he always seemed like a pitiful clown to me & I respect him for the hard work. But looking back I don’t respect him for betrayal of my Dad. {But Dad should have known.} And I certainly despise his cruelty to animals – a mark of a weakling who cannot control his own negative feelings.)*

Then the rooms get busier, it changes into clutter & lots of people. It seems I am moving & everyone is helping.

A small woman in dark printed clothing is sitting at a little table where my large bed in the living room is, against the window to the right, except I see no window. Across from her is a young female relative that has not spoken to me for over 40 years.

Over to the left is my large luxury bathroom. They – not sure who – have stripped it down, the bathtub & all furniture is gone – the walls have a partition in the middle & seem bare & unattractive, the bottom of the wall is a vanilla partition with marking of stuff moved, the top might be pink.

*(BATHROOM STRIPPED CLEAN: Bathrooms are places of privacy, cleanliness, removing one’s wastes, taking a bath, hygiene, maybe fixing one’s makeup or shaving. This could be called a room where you ‘recover’ & ‘get ready’ for the day.

These two men here who are DESECRATING MY PRIVACY & COMFORT are not only INVASIVE but SADISTIC because while they do their desecration – which they assume no one will know about because these rugs will be DISCARDED – they are LAUGHING. I ask Mother God to help on that.

MOTHER GOD: It showed they took PLEASURE or SADISTIC THRILLS shitting on you – symbolically through your rugs. Your red runner is your pain. He thought it FUNNY to ridicule, humiliate & degrade you. And this shows Marius had the same spirit – which YOU NEVER KNEW as he never did anything to you but this hints that he did not have the chance, he would have had he had the opportunity.

There was also an image of a GOLDEN DOG that seemed to come in through the window here, hovering in the air. This could have been a LOVING SENSE OR REVELATION FROM GOD {animals are usually senses} of WHAT IS GOING ON HERE – THE TRUTH. See below.)*

There are two rugs here that are runners, which will be DISCARDED. My brother is here & because the rugs will be trashed, he thinks he can do anything to them – any desecration. He gleefully then stoops over one rug, that seems to be hovering in the air – it’s red, & take a HUGE SHIT, sort of laughing while he does it. Then Marius does the exactly same thing over the other runner.

I complain about this to the small woman, saying to her, it’s not that they just shitted on my rugs, they laughed while doing it.

She gets defensive. This is perhaps the first message I have ever gotten from this woman – my mother – since her death in 1979. Within this appearance & her words, I get a feeling of her being stupid & a lowlife. And since that younger female relative sits across her, she would be in agreement & in collusion with brother & Marius, puts them all as ‘birds of a feather.’ {Which is nothing to be proud of as I know Mom & bro are in the lower place of Heaven. So it seems Marius could be in a similar place & other female on her way there.}

She says to me,
“Marius had a 10″ penis. There was NO WOMAN WHO EVER COMPLAINED ABOUT HIM.”

*(SHE JUSTIFIES MARIUS BECAUSE OF HIS PENIS: What does this mean, Mother God? Surely do I take this literally?

MOTHER GOD: This dream gives a revelation, which means that these four people are in agreement – that they are spiritual underlings, not developed at all. The feelings from them are ugly & sinister, dark & even demonic. Obviously the demonic has been left behind, but it was present on earth.

She’s taken issue with your criticism of Marius, & justifying her choice of him, but the choices of a lowlife are not blessed.)*

We are then standing in this same living room & she makes statements about me that are impertinent. She asks this & that, I answer – it’s vague. Then I say,

“My business was not doing sex.”

*(MY BUSINESS WAS NOT DOING SEX: She is fighting back against your explaining what a monster she was & the only thing she can think of is accusing you of being a prostitute, selling sex, so you say that was not your business. This baffles me, Mother God, as I find it hard to believe that she is so low-minded & low acting in Heaven. Can you explain?

MOTHER GOD: She is still twisted & confused, compared to the Light where you are. She is far lower than being a saint, she made it to Heaven but still not clear of her illusions, delusions & feelings. They aren’t sinful but compared to a saint, her stature is that of an insect. So that’s how an insect thinks & feels.

ME: Wow, that makes me feel uncomfortable as I was always so respectful to Mom on earth, even though she abused me. It was she who said of herself ‘I was a monster,’ it was not my words. And it was someone of God who told me she & Jim were the spiritual size of insects, so I disclaim responsibility as it creeps me out.

MOTHER GOD: Don’t be afraid of sinning against them, you are simply stating the truth.)*

She asks something about when I did not use condoms, did my vagina itch? Does it itch when you don’t use them?

(RE VAGINA WITHOUT CONDOMS ITCHING: This is the same woman who got her fat friend to call me, age 15, still a virgin, & say the boy I was seeing was spreading porno videos of him & me, & he saw one of them, etc. She orchestrated it & was gleefully sitting in the next room listening. And so, this is her level & I guess she did not go from that low of a life to saintly stature in Heaven, she is still a novice. I have learned here that those who go to Heaven do not automatically acquire the character of Jesus Christ or the Holy Virgin.)

I’m at a loss for words, as this is not where my mind is at. I tell her,

“Whatever you think of me, I am a woman of God, God is the center of my life.”

That basically ends the communication.
This meeting is ugly. I can see why God has not been orchestrating contacts with her.

College of God & Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

GAIN TOP POSITION

BY NOT WANTING SEX, I GAIN POWER OVER HIM

3-5-21–Lover Big Move–Me Anti Sex

I’m in a building, in a room. There’s a man over me as I’m sitting on the edge of a bed. He wants to have sex – I don’t. He’s wearing a stiff twill cloth covering, like a short cloak, charcoal grey. I look away from him at a couple to my right, who’s going to have sex.

*(HE WANTS SEX – I DON’T: This answers a question I posed to God yesterday, ‘If I don’t want to have sex, what’s the point of having the ex Lover eventually live with me?

The first image shows MY REJECTION OF HIM THE LAST 2 YEARS. His wearing a CHARCOAL GREY STIFF COVERING is a symbol of TERMINATION, ENDING or DEATH, the cloth being hard, stiff, is this is not a SOFT SITUATION but you might say TOUGH LOVE or a HARD PLACE.

Then I LOOK TO MY RIGHT projects the FUTURE of LOVER & MYSELF.)*

They’re also on the edge of the bed oblivious to us. He’s younger, she’s older. I don’t see him clearly but she seems to be wearing blue denim & reminds me of my long ago female minister, short & overweight, with dark curly short hair. There seems to be this SILVER SQUARE PILLOW they are using somehow. I say something to the effect of ‘how disgusting’ like sex is disgusting.

*(I SEE MY FUTURE SELF & HIM ABOUT TO HAVE SEX & LABEL IT DISGUSTING: This is revealing. It shows ME ON TOP or the DOMINANT POSITION.

When I was with this minister lady long ago, she was the DOMINANT PERSON. I obeyed her & paid her, looked up to her for years. Upon her death she passed me her Mantle or Anointing.

This scene answers the question how my REVERSE ON SEX puts me in the DOMINANT POSITION & will result in my being with this spiritual husband PERMANENTLY. {Silver between us. Silver is 25 years, I will not live that long.}

As long as I give in to the sex, he gets what he wants, I don’t get a relationship. But when I no longer desire sex, the shoe’s on the other foot – if he wants to continue with me he has to leave the female he’s with & be with me in a legitimate fashion.

The fact that I’m now the GURU-MINISTER from the old days is I LOOKED UP TO HER – He will LOOK UP TO ME. I PAID HER – he’ll pay me not in money, as he has none, but in love or a permanent relationship – what he can GIVE OF VALUE.)*

Then I’m somewhere with two men – my good husband Richard & evil ex boyfriend KaHell. They are both helping me move. It’s a huge truck they must fill with everything in the house, & then, they must soon remove it all from this huge truck again.

(GOOD HUSBAND RICHARD & EVIL GUY KAHELL: These are the TWO SIDES of my ex lover. He will be my GOOD HUSBAND but he still has the DARK SIDE or EVIL part of him.)

I hear someone say,
“Hurry up, it must be filled by 10 PM, & then all of it emptied & brought back {to where, the house?} as soon as it’s filled.”

*(MOVE EVERYTHING BY 10 PM, THEN MUST ALL BE MOVED BACK AGAIN: This shows two moves, & the ex-lover must do it. But I can’t get what it means, need Mother God’s help.

Mother God: You see HIM moving but it is YOUR STUFF. He is WORKING FOR YOU or doing AS YOU SAY. Two moves could be he has to move out of his present house & he has to do the work to move you out of your apartment. The business of UTILITY STUFF might mean he can help you on this property. This is hard to figure & you might need time for the answers.)*

I’m not helping, just sitting. A big lady in dark clothes is near me & asks me why I’m not working. I tell her,

“I’d like to work, but I can’t. I have a dislocated hip & have had 5 heart attacks.” And significantly I add,

“But I’m PAYING FOR EVERYTHING.”

(NOT WORKING BUT PAYING: This is another level of LEVERAGE you have. He wants sex with you – you refuse, so you hold power there. He will NEED SUPPORT in the future, you can PAY FOR THAT so that is the second leverage. You ‘DON’T HAVE TO WORK’ is saying the onus is on him to do the effort or the chasing, you don’t have to any more.)

I see the two men carrying things. Inside the truck was everything you can imagine, including smallish black shiny tires on some sort of vehicle or cart? See things made of metal painted with red or orange lacquer. It looks like many things of utility or work are here rather than the usual house furniture. The thing I see most clearly is large open paper bags with dozens of rolls of toilet paper.

(DOZENS OF ROLLS OF TOILET PAPER they carry: This is like the statement, ‘You need someone some day to WIPE YOUR ASS.’ Wiping the ass means helping you in time of need, such as if you’re ill, they take care of you. You need work done around the house, they do it. They’ll be there for you. This says he’ll be there when you need him.)

While ‘they’ were working KaHell said to me, the images of me looked best When N__ K took them. I ponder about how I look. I tell him,

“When I put all my makeup on & fix myself up, I look beautiful.”
But right now I don’t want to bother, I’m plain, without any fixing up & it doesn’t seem to matter.

(DOESN’T SEEM TO MATTER HOW I LOOK, DON’T WORRY ABOUT ALL THE MAKEUP & ARTIFICIAL FINERY: This is saying that when the woman is dominant & has the POWER her looks are not important. She gets what she wants no matter how she looks. The men in Patriarchy can be less attractive than the women they get, because they have what the women want. So it’ll be that way with you & him. The person who is submissive or needs something from the dominant has to excel in looks.)

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

BASIC INCOME GUARANTEE

Why We Still Need A Universal Basic Income Guarantee For All Now More

Than Ever

from AJAX the GREAT – Another good one

Comments from Guru Rasa Von Werder in CAPS

I have repeatedly noted before why any serious proposal for a pragmatic utopia would require some sort of unconditional Universal Basic Income (UBI) Guarantee for all. At least as long as we still have a monetary system, of course, and it will be quite some time before money can be phased out completely. And in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, the lockdowns, and their grisly social and economic aftermath, it is more crucial now than ever before.

To wit:

First and foremost, “It’s payback time for Women”. Recently, a Woman named Judith Shulevitz wrote an op-ed titled thusly, arguing in favor of a Universal Basic Income Guarantee for all. Her feminist argument for a UBI, which I agree 100% with, was that such a thing would provide long-overdue compensation for Women’s unpaid work (i.e. housework and caregiving) that society currently takes for granted and considers a “free resource” for the taking. As the saying goes, there are two kinds of work that Women do: underpaid, and unpaid. While that is true for some men as well, it is overwhelmingly true for Women.

RASA: LET US TAKE NOTE OF THIS. WOMEN DO UNDERPAID & UNPAID LABOR. THIS IS PATRIARCHY, THE UNJUST RULES, LAWS & CUSTOMS OF MEN. YOU WANT A BETTER WORLD? THE ONLY ANSWER IS MATRIARCHY. ALL GOVERNMENTS, RELIGIONS & INSTITUTIONS OF MEN ARE CORRUPT. MEN ARE THE PROBLEM.

Thus, her argument makes a great deal of sense overall, and I agree. It is indeed LONG overdue. And it applies a fortiori now in light of the fact that Women got the worst deal of all from the lockdown-induced job losses, the often triple burden for Mothers at home, the gnawing forced isolation from the support system of other Women, and the increased exposure to domestic violence during lockdown. Lockdown is patriarchy on crack, basically.

RASA: TAKE NOTE. INCREASED DOMESTIC VIOLENCE DURING LOCKDOWN. ARE WOMEN BEATING UP MEN? ARE WOMEN SEXUALLY ABUSING CHILDREN? WHO IS THE PROBLEM HERE? THE LUNATICS ARE RUNNING THE ASYLUM.

Men are becoming increasingly redundant in the long run due to technology, globalization, and the overall ascendancy of Women. When men are no longer artificially propped up, they will fall–and the bigger they are, the harder they fall. And this will only increase in the near future. This is a potential ticking time-bomb that must be defused sooner rather than later. Men become extremely dangerous creatures under either of two conditions: 1) when they have too much power relative to Women, and/or 2) when they are desperate for money. Ever see the 1996 film Fargo?

From Ajax the Great: As for the the reference to the 1996 film Fargo, the plot of that movie is as follows: a man in Minnesota becomes desperate for money, and he basically hires a hitman (who he meets sub rosa in Fargo) to have his wife kidnapped for ransom (i.e from his rich in-laws) and have that ransom money then funneled to himself with the hitman taking a cut of it. The plan was that his wife was supposed to be left unharmed, but the plan is horribly and fatally botched, one thing leads to another, and long story short, six people are ultimately killed as a result of his massive debacle including her. (The reference I made was an illustration of just how dangerous men can be, especially towards Women, when they are desperate for money. And that desperation is of course a result of the artificial scarcity imposed by the demonic patriarchy.)

Indeed, a Universal Basic Income is one of the best ways to tackle the second one. Again, it only applies a fortiori now.

A UBI is far more efficient in theory and practice than much of what currently passes for a social safety net these days, and would have far less bureaucracy. No means tests, no discrimination, no playing God. It’s simply a basic human right, period. And it would be far less costly in the long run.

As Buckminster Fuller famously noted, there are more than enough resources for everyone to live like a millionaire with today’s technology. And he said this back in the 1970s, mind you. And the specious notion that everybody and their mother must “work for a living” is not only outdated, but is also seriously classist, ableist, and ageist, and by extension indirectly sexist and racist as well.

Poverty is a razor-sharp, double-edged sword, spiritually speaking. Being attached to riches is clearly counter to spirituality, but then again, so is being attached to poverty. Either way, it’s the attachment that is the problem. And poverty today is largely if not entirely man-made via artificial scarcity.

RASA: THERE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE BUT ONE OF THE PROBLEMS IS MALE-INDUCED OVERPOPULATION. FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS, MEN HAVE USED WOMEN AS BREEDING MACHINES TO MAKE HUGE ARMIES OF WORKERS & FIGHTERS, SO THEY COULD EMPLOY ‘MIGHT MAKES RIGHT.’ WE HAVE SERIAL PREGNANCIES FORCED ON WOMEN. REDUCE THESE PREGNANCIES, LIFE GETS EASIER FOR ALL – FOR THE CHILDREN WHO NEED MATERNAL CARE UP TO AGE 6 AT LEAST, FOR THE WOMEN WHO NEED TO DO WHAT WOMEN DO WITHOUT BEING FORCED INTO SLAVERY & STRESS.

We would all be better off on balance, spiritually and otherwise, if material poverty were eradicated–and a UBI is the most efficient way to do so. As William Bond (and others) noted, with today’s technology that is certainly doable, but for the greed of the oligarchs at the top who control the system. And that in turn is a result of patriarchy, given how men tend to see war and scarcity as inevitable, so they create a self-fulfilling prophecy as a result.

RASA SAYS: ACCORDING TO MEN, WAR IS INEVITABLE. ACCORDING TO MEN. THROW OUT THEIR BOOKS, THEIR OPINIONS, THEIR WARPED STUDIES & THEIR LIES. IT WAS ADAM WHO SINNED, NOT EVE. IT WAS ADAM THAT CAUSED THE ‘DOWNFALL’ OF THE HUMAN RACE. IT IS ADAM THAT TOOK DOWN MOTHER GOD FROM HER THRONE & CREATED A GOD THAT SUPPOSEDLY WANTS WAR, ABUSE, TYRANNY, CHILD ABUSE & MURDER. READ THE OLD TESTAMENT & SEE. LOOK AT THEIR WORKS & SEE. LOOK AT THE LIFE OF MUHAMMAD. SEE ALL THE WARLORDS WHO CALL THEIR WARS NECESSARY, EVEN ‘HOLY.’ THIS IS RULE OF SATAN.

With an unconditional UBI instead of means testing or other conditions, gone will be the perverse incentives that exist under the current system that trap too many people in poverty today.

Negative liberty and positive liberty are NOT opposites, but rather two sides of the same coin. Indeed, one cannot be truly free if one is systematically denied the basic necessities of life. And truly no one is free when others are oppressed in any way.

Inequality, at least when it is as extreme as it is today, is profoundly toxic to society and makes the looming problems/crises of climate change and ecological overshoot that much more difficult to solve. This is over and above the effects of poverty alone. And a UBI can dramatically reduce both socio-economic inequality as well as absolute material poverty. (And when funded by an Alaska-style tax on fossil fuels, it can also double as a Steve Stoft or James Hansen-style carbon tax-and-dividend as well.)

We consume and waste a ludicrous amount of (mostly fossil-fuel) energy in the so-called “developed” world, and much of that wasteful consumption can be curtailed simply by making it so no one has to “work for a living” unless one really wants to. Just think of all the energy spent (and commuting to and from) unnecessary work at a job you hate, to buy stuff you don’t need, to impress people you don’t even like. A UBI could thus greatly reduce our carbon and overall ecological footprint in the long run.

And finally, one should keep in mind that, as Carol Brouillet has noted, the literal and original meaning of the word “community” is “free sharing of gifts”. What we currently have now under patriarchy/kyriarchy is more of a pseudo-community in that regard. And that needs to change. Yesterday. The exchange economy of capitialist patriarchy has failed us, and we need to rediscover and re-create the gift economy in its place. A UBI will make the transition much smoother and more peaceful that it would otherwise be. (Some ultra-purist radfems may disagree of course, but they are in the minority even among the radical feminist community.)

Perhaps Bucky’s other prediction, that Women would take over the world, is a prerequisite for his vision to be fulfilled? Honestly, it can’t happen soon enough!

In other words, it would be a win-win-win situation for literally everyone but the 0.01% oligarchs at the top. So why aren’t we doing this yesterday? Because that would make far too much sense. To quote Buckminster Fuller:

We should do away with the absolutely specious notion that everybody has to earn a living. It is a fact today that one in ten thousand of us can make a technological breakthrough capable of supporting all the rest. The youth of today are absolutely right in recognizing this nonsense of earning a living. We keep inventing jobs because of this false idea that everybody has to be employed at some kind of drudgery because, according to Malthusian Darwinian theory he must justify his right to exist. So we have inspectors of inspectors and people making instruments for inspectors to inspect inspectors. The true business of people should be to go back to school and think about whatever it was they were thinking about before somebody came along and told them they had to earn a living.

In fact, one could argue that two of the most toxic, outdated, and specious ideas ever conceived by the patriarchy (aside from the central doctrine of male supremacy itself and the entire “dominator” model, of course) are that “everybody and their mother must work for a living” and that “everybody must procreate.” And both are now literally KILLING this very planet that gives us life. Thus, on balance, a Universal Basic Income Guarantee for all is a good idea regardless. Again, it’s a win-win-win situation for everyone but the oligarchs. And the only real arguments against it are paternalistic and/or sadistic ones, which really means there are no good arguments against it in a free and civilized society.

So what are we waiting for? Let the planetary healing begin!

from AJAX the GREAT – A possible reincarnation of Buckminster Fuller

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

OUT OF LOCKDOWN

The Best Roadmap Out Of Lockdown: Cold Turkey

Another good one from Ajax the Great

As we have noted in our previous articles, particularly “Case Closed: Lockdowns Don’t Work“, “The Difference Between Naive And Stupid“, “How To End The Pandemic In ONE WEEK Without Lockdowns, Masks, Or Vaccines“, and “We Need To Do Both“, the True Spirit of America Party (TSAP) has never really been a fan of lockdowns and related restrictions, and only for a few months (April-August 2020) grudgingly supported mask mandates (with nuance) as an alternative to lockdowns. We have, alas, learned the hard way that not only do these restrictions not work very well if at all, but they are in fact worse than useless, doing more harm than good.

There is nothing “woke” or progressive about these fundamentally illiberal and authoritarian policies, and anyone who still supports them now, a year later, cannot honestly identify as such. There is nothing even remotely communitarian about these socially corrosive measures, and certainly not the least bit libertarian either. Nor is there anything particularly conservative about tossing the hard-won wisdom of the ages out the window like so much garbage and instead knee-jerkedly going full medieval-and-Orwellian-dystopian-hybrid. Thus, the only leaders who honestly support these policies for even one more day are technocrats, oligarchs, authoritarians, or all of the above. And their followers and lackeys are either stupid, ignorant, insane, brainwashed, and/or corrupt. Sorry, but the truth hurts.

As our British friends across the pond have noted on the site Lockdown Sceptics, a study of 170 countries found that the correlation between a country’s Government Stringency Index and the COVID case and death rates is in fact the opposite of what it would be if these policies actually worked. That is, the greater the stringency, the worse the case and death rates on average. And given how it is non-linear in that the perverse correlation particularly with deaths is strongest with stringency scores above 60/100, then logically the best (or least-worst) “roadmap” out of lockdown is to simply go “cold turkey” and end all (or practically all) restrictions right away, full stop.

Yes, really. And here is how to do it, folks: Simply set a “quit date” no more than a week or two in the future, and commit to that date no matter what. Remember, these policies are generally worse than useless, even for the sacred cow of travel restrictions (except perhaps during a very narrow window at the very beginning of the pandemic, and that train has long since left the station), and there is currently no imminent threat of overwhelmed hospitals anywhere now. The worst is basically over in most places, in other words. Thus, on that quit date, and not a single day later, any and all pandemic-related restrictions imposed after February 2020 shall lapse and become null and void immediately and in full, period.

Should exceptions be made? Perhaps a “Rule of 500″ or some even larger number could exist for very large gatherings lacking numbered seats for a little while longer. Enhanced hygiene, ventilation, and perhaps temperature checks in some places would likely still be de rigeur as well for a while. Enhanced precautions in hospitals and nursing homes would likely remain to some extent as well for a while too, as is the case in Florida currently. But the overbearing, omnipresent, and almost entirely unprecedented restrictions that would have been utterly unthinkable a year ago in February 2020 would nonetheless be gone for good, never to be reimposed again.

Public schools, and in fact any schools receiving federal and/or state funding, will be required to reopen for full in-person instruction no later then the Monday following the quit date, or else have such funding immediately and indefinitely revoked until they do. And they must remain fully open except for very brief closures (no more than two weeks at a time, if even that) if and only if they actually experience bona fide school-related outbreaks and/or they are located in a severe bona fide local “red zone”.

And of course, individuals and businesses would still be free to voluntarily put as many restrictions as they wish on themselves going forward, just like they always were. After all, each person’s own definition of acceptable risk and their calculus of cost vs. benefit will be different. But no longer would anyone be able to use the inherently coercive power of government to force others to do so against their will anymore.

That means that the powers that be will have to (gasp!) use education and persuasion instead of coercion and (gasp!) stop treating adults like children.

As for the supposedly scary new mutant strains of the virus, if anything that is a stronger argument against lockdowns and related restrictions, since these restrictions would actually be more likely to concentrate and incubate these strains (which will inevitably escape and spread further), when it would really be better to dilute, dilute, dilute them instead. Note that Florida, who basically went cold turkey as of September 25, 2020, and even hosted the 2021 Super Bowl, has still seen cases, hospitalizations, and deaths plummet since January nonetheless. And their cumulative death rate has been better than the national average and most lockdown states as well.

Furthermore, since we know that the virus is seasonal and most likely endemic now, that implies that if we don’t want to get slammed yet again next winter, it would logically be best NOT to artificially suppress it during the spring and summer. That is in fact when we should be building up our immune systems through the inevitable natural exposures, not mollycoddling and overprotecting them with extraordinary (and ultimately futile) measures, nor should we be wrecking them with the unholy lockdown trinity of anxiety, isolation, and vitamin deprivation. The same goes for seasonal flu as well, which may come back with a vengeance next winter after being temporarily displaced by COVID.

And yes, we still need a robust COVID relief package yesterday, even more robust than the paltry one still being debated now. Even the most arch-conservative or hardcore libertarian can understand that the Takings Clause of the US Constitution would logically require the government to compensate We the People for any losses (both direct and indirect) resulting from these government-imposed lockdowns and restrictions. And while nearly all of the restrictions were imposed by state and local governments, the fact remains that the federal government (including even 45 himself at first) effectively green-lighted such restrictions, and furthermore they, unlike our now largely bankrupt state and local governments, have the power to simply print the money as needed.

So what are we waiting for? To paraphrase President Ronald Reagan, “Mr. Biden, tear down this plexiglass!”

MARCH UPDATE: Looks like no sooner did we post this than several states (16 already, and growing) are now abandoning this whole ship of fools and doing what Florida already did back in September and South Dakota already did last May–going cold turkey (or nearly so) later this month if not already. Once the first cracks and fissures in the facade appeared, it was only a matter of time. The lockdown zealots and technocrats are probably having a collective heart attack right now, or at least soiling their trousers, but tough noodles for them! They’ve already had their proverbial day in the sun for a whole year now (that was only supposed to be two or three weeks to “flatten the curve”, remember?) and now it’s long past time to start actually living again as humans qua humans. To the wretched New Abnormal we say, “Good riddance!” And may a century of liberty follow after we all say, “Never Again!” and really mean it.

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

WHY UNTOUCHABLES<>HATED CLASS

An Article on Untouchables

India’s “Untouchables” Face Violence, Discrimination

from Rasa Von Werder: There is a parallel between the ‘Untouchables’ of India & the various versions of the poor in the Western World. It is Patriarchy that creates the ‘lower classes,’ the downtrodden, poorest of the poor, those who take the most menial & dirty jobs, those who walk the streets selling adult therapy, – the people who are looked down upon, hated, sneered at, laughed at & USED by those of a ‘higher standing.’

To put a person in a position like that means exactly what I said – that they can be USED. Used for what? Whatever the privileged desire. Sometimes scapegoats, sometimes cheap labor, sometimes therapy, always cheaper than they can get elsewhere.

The Patriarchy wants subjects for EXPLOITATION.

In Matriarchy there was no such class. The poorest lived similar to the Leaders or Queens. It was a social order of LOVE. When women rule the family & the world, people are equal, everyone deserves the same chance. It’s not a dog-eat dog or rat race world, it’s a world of Mothers & children, all people, animals & nature are the children of woman, women see themselves as stewards, not as slave masters. Women do not in general look for others to enslave, use up, exploit, they are not in COMPETITION but in COOPERATION with others. Women never created violence & wars {except in cases of Patriarchy where they had to defend themselves.}

Please understand the untouchables to be a PATRIARCHAL PHENOMENA manifested in all cultures by men to use up & exploit other creatures………{end Rasa comment}

More than 160 million people in India are considered “Untouchable”—people tainted by their birth into a caste system that deems them impure, less than human.

BY HILLARY MAYELL - PUBLISHED JUNE 2, 2003

More than 160 million people in India are considered “Untouchable”—people tainted by their birth into a caste system that deems them impure, less than human.

Human rights abuses against these people, known as Dalits, are legion. A random sampling of headlines in mainstream Indian newspapers tells their story: “Dalit boy beaten to death for plucking flowers”; “Dalit tortured by cops for three days”; “Dalit ‘witch’ paraded naked in Bihar”; “Dalit killed in lock-up at Kurnool”; “7 Dalits burnt alive in caste clash”; “5 Dalits lynched in Haryana”; “Dalit woman gang-raped, paraded naked”; “Police egged on mob to lynch Dalits”.

“Dalits are not allowed to drink from the same wells, attend the same temples, wear shoes in the presence of an upper caste, or drink from the same cups in tea stalls,” said Smita Narula, a senior researcher with Human Rights Watch, and author of Broken People: Caste Violence Against India’s “Untouchables.” Human Rights Watch is a worldwide activist organization based in New York.

India’s Untouchables are relegated to the lowest jobs, and live in constant fear of being publicly humiliated, paraded naked, beaten, and raped with impunity by upper-caste Hindus seeking to keep them in their place. Merely walking through an upper-caste neighborhood is a life-threatening offense.

Nearly 90 percent of all the poor Indians and 95 percent of all the illiterate Indians are Dalits, according to figures presented at the International Dalit Conference that took place May 16 to 18 in Vancouver, Canada.

Crime Against Dalits

Statistics compiled by India’s National Crime Records Bureau indicate that in the year 2000, the last year for which figures are available, 25,455 crimes were committed against Dalits. Every hour two Dalits are assaulted; every day three Dalit women are raped, two Dalits are murdered, and two Dalit homes are torched.

No one believes these numbers are anywhere close to the reality of crimes committed against Dalits. Because the police, village councils, and government officials often support the caste system, which is based on the religious teachings of Hinduism, many crimes go unreported due to fear of reprisal, intimidation by police, inability to pay bribes demanded by police, or simply the knowledge that the police will do nothing.

“There have been large-scale abuses by the police, acting in collusion with upper castes, including raids, beatings in custody, failure to charge offenders or investigate reported crimes,” said Narula.

That same year, 68,160 complaints were filed against the police for activities ranging from murder, torture, and collusion in acts of atrocity, to refusal to file a complaint. Sixty two percent of the cases were dismissed as unsubstantiated; 26 police officers were convicted in court.

Despite the fact that untouchability was officially banned when India adopted its constitution in 1950, discrimination against Dalits remained so pervasive that in 1989 the government passed legislation known as The Prevention of Atrocities Act. The act specifically made it illegal to parade people naked through the streets, force them to eat feces, take away their land, foul their water, interfere with their right to vote, and burn down their homes.

Since then, the violence has escalated, largely as a result of the emergence of a grassroots human rights movement among Dalits to demand their rights and resist the dictates of untouchability, said Narula.

Lack of Enforcement, Not Laws

Enforcement of laws designed to protect Dalits is lax if not non-existent in many regions of India. The practice of untouchability is strongest in rural areas, where 80 percent of the country’s population resides. There, the underlying religious principles of Hinduism dominate.

Hindus believe a person is born into one of four castes based on karma and “purity”—how he or she lived their past lives. Those born as Brahmans are priests and teachers; Kshatriyas are rulers and soldiers; Vaisyas are merchants and traders; and Sudras are laborers. Within the four castes, there are thousands of sub-castes, defined by profession, region, dialect, and other factors.

Untouchables are literally outcastes; a fifth group that is so unworthy it doesn’t fall within the caste system.

Although based on religious principles practiced for some 1,500 years, the system persists today for economic as much as religious reasons.

Because they are considered impure from birth, Untouchables perform jobs that are traditionally considered “unclean” or exceedingly menial, and for very little pay. One million Dalits work as manual scavengers, cleaning latrines and sewers by hand and clearing away dead animals. Millions more are agricultural workers trapped in an inescapable cycle of extreme poverty, illiteracy, and oppression.

Although illegal, 40 million people in India, most of them Dalits, are bonded workers, many working to pay off debts that were incurred generations ago, according to a report by Human Rights Watch published in 1999. These people, 15 million of whom are children, work under slave-like conditions hauling rocks, or working in fields or factories for less than U.S. $1 day.

Crimes Against Women

Dalit women are particularly hard hit. They are frequently raped or beaten as a means of reprisal against male relatives who are thought to have committed some act worthy of upper-caste vengeance. They are also subject to arrest if they have male relatives hiding from the authorities.

A case reported in 1999 illustrates the toxic mix of gender and caste.

A 42-year-old Dalit woman was gang-raped and then burnt alive after she, her husband, and two sons had been held in captivity and tortured for eight days. Her crime? Another son had eloped with the daughter of the higher-caste family doing the torturing. The local police knew the Dalit family was being held, but did nothing because of the higher-caste family’s local influence.

There is very little recourse available to victims.

A report released by Amnesty International in 2001 found an “extremely high” number of sexual assaults on Dalit women, frequently perpetrated by landlords, upper-caste villagers, and police officers. The study estimates that only about 5 percent of attacks are registered, and that police officers dismissed at least 30 percent of rape complaints as false.

The study also found that the police routinely demand bribes, intimidate witnesses, cover up evidence, and beat up the women’s husbands. Little or nothing is done to prevent attacks on rape victims by gangs of upper-caste villagers seeking to prevent a case from being pursued. Sometimes the policemen even join in, the study suggests. Rape victims have also been murdered. Such crimes often go unpunished.

Thousands of pre-teen Dalit girls are forced into prostitution under cover of a religious practice known as devadasis, which means “female servant of god.” The girls are dedicated or “married” to a deity or a temple. Once dedicated, they are unable to marry, forced to have sex with upper-caste community members, and eventually sold to an urban brothel.

Resistance and Progress

Within India, grassroots efforts to change are emerging, despite retaliation and intimidation by local officials and upper-caste villagers. In some states, caste conflict has escalated to caste warfare, and militia-like vigilante groups have conducted raids on villages, burning homes, raping, and massacring the people. These raids are sometimes conducted with the tacit approval of the police.

In the province Bihar, local Dalits are retaliating, committing atrocities also. Non-aligned Dalits are frequently caught in the middle, victims of both groups.

“There is a growing grassroots movement of activists, trade unions, and other NGOs that are organizing to democratically and peacefully demand their rights, higher wages, and more equitable land distribution,” said Narula. “There has been progress in terms of building a human rights movement within India, and in drawing international attention to the issue.”

In August 2002, the UN Committee for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination (UN CERD) approved a resolution condemning caste or descent-based discrimination.

“But at the national level, very little is being done to implement or enforce the laws,” said Narula……………………………………

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

SUCCESS THROUGH FAITH

WE’RE GETTING THROUGH MY FRIEND’S CANCER BY FAITH

AS WE PRAY DAILY – I GOT TO

WHERE IN AM IN LIFE BY FAITH

2-28-21-Small White Creature-My Big Swim

I was in this large white building, huge, like a mausoleum or monument, but people live here. The front had columns – I see the building vaguely, the most striking thing is it’s largeness, it’s whiteness, & that in front it has about 5 or so steps across most of the building like you would see in an institution-type building.

*(MAUSOLEUM: This is the FEAR OF DEATH both myself & my lady friend have, as she got breast cancer. I’m helping her through PRAYER – the LEAP OF FAITH which I am GOOD AT – which I can demonstrate, that my faith is greater than that of most people.

The BUILDING BEING WHITE shows that GOOD wilL come out of this, it is of God, not the devil.)*

Beyond this place, in front, are wonderful gardens, soft bushes, a long stretch of them, with paths.

(WONDERFUL GARDENS, BUSHES: Gardens represent POSITIVE THINGS; CULTURE, LIFE, PROJECTS, HAPPINESS. This huge place we are in looks onward to these things, which we wish for.)

I’m inside the building, it’s has I sense 4 floors, but feels higher, more like 6 to 8 floors, we are near the top. I’m looking out the window & to the right of me is a female looking out, she’s about 30-40′ to my right.

*(HEIGHT OF BUILDING, HUGENESS: HEIGHT is often something SCARY. Some people fear high bridges or going high in an elevator, they dream of this. Being ‘high up’ is far from solid earth, where we’re safe, we leave the familiar & that which grounds us.

My friend & I are both experiencing the fear her cancer might go badly, we’re praying against it together daily.)*

She’s upset because her child is gone, he either fell off into the courtyard or wandered off into this garden. I will find him.

(HER CHILD IS GONE EITHER FELL OR WANDERED OFF – I WILL FIND HIM: Her child is her vulnerable, small, dependent self, where she’s separated from her Powerful Self – the God Self – & I will help her get back to her God Self by prayer.)

I want to demonstrate to her how I can leap & fly without getting the slightest bit hurt, I land softly, & I jump out in an arc hundreds of feet beyond the building, where I begin my search. {A thought comes to me that I could draw a crowd, announce to people I will be jumping off great heights, they can watch, make a show of it. I’m proud of my being able to jump from great heights & landing super soft.}

(PROUD OF MY ABILITY TO LEAP FROM HIGH PLACES & LAND SOFTLY: Proud of having strong faith, where calling on God, instead of evil happening, there’s a soft landing or good outcome.)

As I figure out where the child might have wandered, I know by knowing small creature’s behavior, that they’re afraid of wandering too far from what is familiar, so I get closer & closer to the building. I picture him walking off, then going back right to the building time & time again.

(CHILD WANDERED OFF: This is the CHILD GOD within the lady friend, she wants to make sure this child does not perish, I am helping. The child is the HUMBLE SELF, small, vulnerable, knows it is dependent on its parent which in this case, is God Almighty.)

Along the way I see young white groups of chickens here & there, fully feathered but not mature.

(YOUNG WHITE CHICKENS: Could symbolize fear. We are trying to grow up, be mature souls, not be afraid. We are growing ‘in God’.)

I think he didn’t go far, I must get closer to the building & I do, when right in front of the buildign I see him standing on the landing with his back against the wall, his little arms up so the elbows are straight up, you see the underarms. He doesn’t seem human, but like some sort of a white animal with either feathers or fur, he stands only a foot & a half tall, tiny.

*(AGAINST THE WALL, LITTLE ARMS UP: This is like the police saying, ‘hands up’ & the citizen pops them up fast, afraid of getting shot. It is my lady friend fearing for her life, AGAINST THE WALL is also HELPLESS. ‘Where do I go from here?’

Her CHILD or PET is not like ‘human’ but has feathers or fur, all white. This is the human INSTINCT TO SURVIVAL, after all, we are animals. We revert back to our ANIMAL NATURE when all the fronts are gone. She’s been stripped of human fronts, now facing survival mode. The ALL WHITE is a constant theme, that something GOOD will come out of this.)*

I then joyfully tell the lady friend that I found him right here.

I wake up & see more scenes after that. I see two buns with hamburgers ready to be served the small creature & hear someone say,

“Trouble.”

(HAMBURGER BUNS: This is MEAT being served, which is mature food, SUFFERING – as differentiating from candy & cake, given to baby Christians, this is the MEAT OF SUFFERING. In the next place it says TROUBLE, & so, I conclude this has something to do with my friend’s TWO TUMORS in her breast. It could be saying these tumors are trouble or a nuisance but it might also say there will be trouble with them. I hope not.)

I see some kind of brown see-trough blobs in the air with black spikes through them but can’t explain details.

(These BROWN SEE-THROUGH BLOBS could also be the tumors, with BLACK SPIKES, the black spikes could be a good sign, killing the tumors.)

……………………………………………………………….

MY BIG SWIM

I’m standing in front of a huge lake & beyond it is an island. There’s a group of people to my right watching me & thinking about getting to this island.

(HUGE LAKE I DECIDE TO SWIM ACROSS, ALTHOUGH I CAN’T SWIM: This is my LIFE, like the ‘ocean of life,’ ‘river of life,’ what I must cross, but this says I can’t swim which means I CANNOT DO IT ALONE, but some other Power takes over me & gets me to the ‘island’ which turns out to be WHERE I AM TODAY, a place of safety, security & success. Faith in God, God’s Power, got me where I am.)

I ponder about it. I can’t swim. But something makes me JUMP IN & head for it – where I got the confidence, I have no idea.

(I CAN’T SWIM, BUT I DO: This is getting somewhere BY FAITH. Human power cannot do it – but by faith I try to get somewhere, & the Power of God takes over.)

As I head toward it, even though I’m not doing much, some Power makes me move forward a if I’m swimming. At one point my right arm goes limp & just hangs under me in the water, but moving my left arm I keep going forward.

Amazingly, I reach the island, which is like at least quarter mile from the shore. I stand up, & walk over it, & before I know it, I’m in MY OWN BACK YARD. All is green, I’m at the bottom yard. It’s more ‘ornate’ in landscaping than my own yard – prettier, more scenic like a park. This was not an island, it’s the MAINLAND! So I am safe & don’t have to swim back anywhere.

(MAINLAND, NOT AN ISLAND, I GOT THERE SAFELY: This is getting to a goal, like the RIGHT PLACE WITH GOD, HEAVEN, or a Heavenly place. God got me there by faith.)

The tone of the water is not blue or green, it’s BROWN. It’s not muddy, dirty or anything, if you took a bucket of it it would be pure see-through, but like a large body of water looking blue when all of it is together, this looks brown.

*(BROWN WATER: Brown is SUFFERING. This CHALLENGE of moving across a large expanse of water but not with human ability, is a challenge. By faith, I jumped in & God got me not to an island or isolated place, but to HOME which is GOD, the HEART, or the CENTER OF ONE’S BEING.

This could be a prediction of ALL GOING WELL for my lady friend, she will be healed of the cancer & live to her proper age.)*

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

MANY ANECDOTES MY LIFE

MANY ANECDOTES MY LIFE

2-26-21 Continue Chapter 8

LITTLE THINGS MEAN A LOT – TIDBITS OF ANECDOTES -

‘She was unsociable, uncaring of everyone’ -

‘Kidnapped 3 times – Mexico twice, U.S. once’

‘Steals Mr. Riley’s credit card, tries to frame me for it’

‘No Deodorant for Rasa’

‘My talent to draw stunted’

‘The Purpose of Writing My Life’

SHE WAS UNSOCIABLE, UNCARING

She didn’t just hate me, she didn’t care about anyone. One exception. On Delancey St. Newark a ‘bum’ {today we call them homeless} came to the door begging. We had a huge loaf of bread – the kind they bake in Eastern Europe, Russia, Poland, Lithuania. These breads are not like ‘wonder bread,’ they’re thick with flavor & nutrition, with dark crusts & weigh between 4 to 6 pounds. Mom cut one of these huge loaves in half & gave it to the poor man! It could sustain him for days. That is the only act of charity I can recall her making. {I was 6-7}

She was a mean machine, who once, when I couldn’t finish my home fries, beat me on the head with her fists. Grandma stopped it. I figured we were not rich & she wanted me to fill up on fries rather than eggs, that’s what maddened her, – I was 6 years old.

When we moved to the farm across the street from us one house down was an ancient couple. I stopped by from time to time – they were poor, must have been in their 70′s or 80′s & not active or healthy. The man had Alzheimer’s starting. They were kind & the old lady gave me purses, when perused through, had change in them, which she obviously wanted to give me. Change then was like dollars today – a dime was worth a dollar.

I was dismayed, however, when the poor lady asked my Mom for a ride to the grocery store & Mom said no. I had to walk over there & say

“My mother said no.”

That’s just out & out cruelty. She had the car, she could drive, she could have done it. No explanation given. These were old desperate people, the only time they asked us for anything.

It frustrated me when we were at a pizza place & a family a few tables away, the Mom began to speak Lithuanian in a loud voice. The Dad told her to hold it down, people will hear you, & she said,

“NO ONE WILL UNDERSTAND ME, HAHA”.

I told Mom, let’s talk to her, but she nodded her head no. I walked by their table looking at them longingly but could not say a word. We could have been friends. Finding someone else who was Lithuanian & spoke it out there was one in a million & we lost it.

When we moved to Middletown, same thing. I got friends with a lovely neighbor. The Mom asked, could you ask your Mom if she could come visit? I ran to Mom eagerly telling her the message.

For a moment she seemed to think about it, then she said no, no explanation. I was sad. I believe part of it is she lacked social confidence, her English was not great. With Lithuanians she was a ‘Queen B’. We had fetes every Holiday with many guests at our table, they adored her as she set a Queen’s table, & they gave money to us kids, like one man gave $10. That was worth $100. then. {I’m sure the money had to be handed over to her. That was the polite way guests gave her money, by pretending to give it to us. I follow the same traditional. Whenever I’m invited to dinner by families I give money ‘for the children’, chocolates, flowers, sometimes treats for their animals if they have them. One family had many dogs & 4 horses, they got dog biscuits & apples.}

KIDNAPPED 3 TIMES – TWICE IN MEXICO, ONCE IN THE U.S.

I made two trips to Mexico, {Acapulco} first for an abortion, second for fun, but it was hazardous.

My Spanish was minimal, I knew like 20 words. There was a young male who offered me a ride some place, & I got in the car. Why I was sitting in the back, I don’t know.

He started driving instead of our destination, way into the jungle, a mountainous region. He picked up another guy & was talking so nervously, so excited, I knew he was planning to take me somewhere where the two of them could rape me. I kept saying to stop the car, I’m getting out, but he wouldn’t.

Finally he slowed down enough that I jumped out of the car. I am now jogging up this mountainous road wondering where the fuck I am, when a dog runs out of the bushes & bites me in the leg, on the calf, a hard bite. When I went to the gay men’s beach about 20 different guys walked up to me to ask what happened, & the authorities made me sign papers before I left as I think they were worried about rabies.

Then it got worse. When I went to fly back to America there was a big storm & the plane stopped in Mexico City. I figured I’d spend a couple days touring before I got the next plane, which I did, walking around in a beautiful lowcut black dress & heels.

These 3 young males stopped me & asked if I wanted to see Chapultepec Park, & I said yes. I had no idea it was like going to Central Park in the evening – as it was getting late – & after dark it’s dangerous, until they drove me deep into the park, into an isolated place. The two aggressive punks left me inside the car while they got out & conferred I presume how to rape me & what to do then.

The submissive, passive one stayed in the car with me & I plotted with him to get me out. He spoke English & I think he was gay, so he wasn’t in the plot to rape. I was in front, the keys still in the car, but the problem was it was the kind you have to shift – I had done it before but was rusty & afraid to drive it.

I jumped out & tried to run, but in heels, & bad floppy ones at that – sandals – they caught me fast. They are nervous wrecks, again, & through the passive one, I persuade them don’t rape me here, let’s go to a motel/hotel where we can be comfortable.

So they drive me out of the park. I see two police standing on the side of the road & I scream out to them. They had no idea what I was saying, but the guys got so scared they went about 50′ & let me leave the car & speeded off.

The police didn’t know what to do with me, but they knew an American family nearby – they took me there. A friend of the family drove me back to my hotel but not before sexually harassing me, end of story.

Moral: It’s dangerous for a female to walk around alone any place, to get into a car with any male, especially if she’s built like Jayne Mansfield & wears a revealing dress.

Last item: I go to the Metropolitan Opera in New York City, first time in my life. I thought everyone dressed formal, I saw movies. I put on a blue satin floor length gown, low cut of course, I wear my dark wig that hangs behind me to the waist. Upon arriving I see I am way overdressed. I think it was Franco Corelli in Aiida, I was infatuated with him, it was great.

Then I leave & see a limo, he stops me & says he’ll drive me home for free, a young guy. He has another couple he has to drop off first, which he does. Then it’s my turn but where the fuck is he going? I know he’s up to no good, the streets don’t look right, he’s kidnapping me. I tell him to stop I am getting out, but he won’t.

Finally he stops for a red light, my chance, I jump out & run where I see a cop, tell him what happened, feel relieved, then catch a cab home.

Two other times they tried to corner me but I got out. My guardian angels worked overtime. I go to a Jack LaLanne gym, the young manager sees me & tells everyone an announcement he’s closing early – I know he’s going to corner me & try rape as soon as the others leave {I had just got there.} I never got dressed & exited a gym so fast.

Then I go to a hair dressing salon where two gay men do the same thing. The owner tells me he’s going to close the gym, then he & his friend can ‘play sex games’ with me. That petrified me, I couldn’t even imagine what he wanted to do, I ran like Hell.

Yes, I did get raped several times, I try not to think about it. They were all date rapes, where a guy threatens you like harm will come to you if you don’t cooperate, or they hint is if you don’t put out they beat you up or hurt or stab you or something, ‘You don’t know what I did to my last girl friend’, etc. I don’t feel like speaking of the cases right now.

MY SKILL AS AN ARTIST IS TRUNCATED

My Dad really hurt me when I went to live with him in B’klyn, regarding my artistic talent.

When I was little – age 6 to 8 – Marius {Mom’s lover} worked in a paper factory. Yes, he was the organist in Church, but that was Sunday/Holidays, he had to have a full time job.

He’d bring home reams of paper, like 1K sheets in a batch, they all went to me for drawing. Dad encouraged me & I became, for my age, a prodigy, so good that in the 1st grade {age 6} they had a child’s gallery in a museum where I was included.

It was kindergarten that my talent surfaced. I couldn’t speak English so they put me in the ‘lower/dumber’ kindergarten. Then we had to draw. I saw a picture on the wall of two birds on a branch, looked at it & drew it. The teacher came, she called a couple other teachers over, & I was put in the ‘higher’ kindergarten class.

After that, every teacher in every class up to 8th grade, when we had blackboards, made me draw murals on top the boards. Mrs. Cooper in 7th grade even asked if I could teach a drawing class. But I was unable to transmit my ability to the others, it takes practice, & first of all, talent.

The talent never left me, but the skill eventually did, because in the 5th grade {age 10} when I found out Dad would never join us, I made a vow,

“I’ll never draw again, out of protest, it will be noticed, .”

But no one noticed, they didn’t care, I just, eventually, lost my skill, the talent going into other fields like dance & photography.

I saw a movie where the guy playing Paganini could no longer play after his sweetheart was ordered to marry another man {by the King.} It was like that. A trauma or broken heart can stop you dead in your tracks. Shirley Bassey couldn’t sing for a while after she lost her daughter.

“I walked on the stage and opened my mouth to sing Goldfinger,” she said. “Nothing came out.”

Samantha Novak, 21, was found face down in the River Avon, near the Clifton suspension bridge in Bristol, in 1985.”

Dean Martin lost his zest for life after losing his son:

“Dean Martin’s son and a fellow crewman died instantly when their fighter jet slammed into a remote mountainside in dense clouds six days ago, officials said after finding the fliers’ bodies. Searchers found the remains Wednesday of Air National Guard Capt.”

And as I said, I stopped drawing. But the talent was still there, & obviously, not all my skill was gone because at age 15, in B’klyn, I had a wonderful black lady art teacher. One day she told me there was a 5 school contest coming up – I should enter.

Enter it I did, to please her mostly, & won second place. My watercolor ‘Water Tower’ which I painted from my 6th floor window took four days. The boy who won 1st place took 3 weeks to do his drawing of a from the high roof-type street scene.

OK, during this time also, I did other art, spur of the moment. They were painting of frustration, anger, unrequited desires, & all the turmoil I went through. Those had meaning. But others, where I tried to do landscape scenes, were dead. My Dad looked at my work & nodded his head,

“No, you don’t have it any more.”

Not spoken in words but implied.

But Dad, you don’t know the whole story & you didn’t ask. I quit drawing because I lost you, & now, you dismiss my art like trivia, which I suppose it is. But why? Why didn’t you ask me what happened? Because you were an idiot & an asshole.

I worshipped you & that worship stopped the day my friend George, who had three daughters, after hearing me regale my Dad, simply said,

“He was NOT a good father.”

That statement put a needle into the balloon, & Dad slipped off the pedestal forever.

NO DEODORANT FOR RASA!

I am twelve, my body has gone through changes. A child has no sweat glands, but now I’m sweating & smelling under my arms. {There’s other disturbing changes also, lots of thick long hair on my arms & legs, & my crotch hair is out of control, haha. Later it would be documented in Gent.}

I never asked Mom for anything, I was too afraid. But I had to have deodorant as I stank, the people in school could smell me; I asked her to buy me some.

Now she comes home from shopping. Let me set the scene. She’s standing at this mirror-cupboard at the end of the kitchen, next to the living room door. Across the kitchen – maybe 15-18′ – is the pantry-hallway leading to the outside, with its cement floor, the door is open.

I’m eager to know if I get the deodorant so I sheepishly say to Mom,

“Mom, did you get my deodorant?’

She goes into an instant rage, picks something out of the paper bag & hurls it forcefully across the room, yelling,

“THERE’S YOUR DEODORANT!”

onto the cement floor of the hallway. It smashes of course, all the deodorant seeps out.

I am so shocked I cry, & get the dust broom & holder & sweep it up. This bears channeling. Mom, what put you into such a rage? That you would rather lose the valuable money you spent on the deodorant than to see me get it?

MEDUSA: How dare you ask me to buy you anything? How dare you want to look good & smell good, look attractive? I wanted to take your face & grind it into the dirt, scratch it up with gravel, than to see you doll yourself up & be inviting to the public. I hated you.

ME: But you trusted me with the duties of the household, you trusted me to take care of the baby & do every chore you asked. Had you no pity for me at all?

MEDUSA: How much pity do rapists, child abusers & murderers have? N pity, no love, no respect, no nothing. As far as I was concerned you could go to Hell.

ME: And the last act you did against me, on your deathbed. Aunt had called me to make the trip {far away} from the city to Westchester, because of some business with the half sister. She had to sign papers she refused to sign, I was to persuade her – which I did – I was still somehow a mentor. Now Mom was in the hospital with the prognosis from the doctors, ‘Six months to live.’ Coffee & cigarettes were her main diet, it caught up with her. I was praying every day, Aunt was going there anyway, I asked to see Mom.

So I went in – you had to go one at a time, it was the last weeks before death. I said to Mom I wanted to pray for her, would she let me? She didn’t stop me. I prayed for a few minutes.

Now my aunt is driving me home, she’s holding a cigarette in her right hand, it’s shaking with rage. She says,

“How dare you pray for your mother, making her feel like she’s dying…….God will not hear you anyway, YOU SELL YOUR BODY!”

ME: Now Mom, instead of being grateful that I prayed, that I cared, you made me sound like a perpetrator who hurt you by prayer. What was the motive for that?

MEDUSA: I knew that Aunt had a low opinion of you, as we had a consensus of you being a prostitute, an evil doer, a bad mother & so on. People like that are not in the grace of God. I knew if I complained to her she would let you have it, & that was my revenge.

ME: Revenge against what?

MEDUSA: Revenge against the thought that you were not a lowlife, that you deserved God’s love, that God would hear you, you were not bound for Hell. It’s the same principle you carried when you ‘stripped for God,’ preached & danced, the consensus being that strippers are outside the grace of God, you dispelled that fallacy. So now you were saying you were in the grace of God, you could pray, God could hear you & help me. So I had to punch you down.

ME: Let me get this straight. It was that important that the idea of me being outside of grace, a lowlife, had to be upheld? Why upheld then & now, even after your death in 1979. The family that is left still carry your evil spirit against me. For the most part, I am an outcast, they don’t invite me to weddings {3 different ones}, they have never invited me for Christmas {I spend most Christmases alone} & they ignore me on social media – act like I don’t exist for the most part. What is it you were trying to prove, they are trying to maintain?

MEDUSA: You are a ‘marked woman.’ Once I put my mark on you & the other main players agreed, to go back on it would prove we were wrong – we had sinned or transgressed. And so, you will forever be, within our family, the ‘untouchable.’ We have you marked with different epithets, such as ‘weird,’ ‘not to be trusted to act normal,’ as you don’t uphold the delusions of our clan – the masks – you don’t play our games. It’s like we believe in different religions, for you to challenge our religion means war. Since there are a few of ‘us’ & only one of you, you can’t win – that is – not within our family. You can do anything outside the family, get awards, trophies, accolades, do great things, but within our clan you always were, {since age 10}, & always will be, the ‘untouchable.’ You CANNOT REDEEM YOURSELF, you cannot prove yourself, just as an untouchable can do nothing to change their status, it’s written in the genetics, so they say, once that, always that. {end channel}

A book:

“Untouchable by Mulk Raj Anand

The novel published in 1935, narrates a day in the life of a young manual scavenger called Bakha. A peek into the daily life of a man from the lowest of the lower caste who sweeps and cleans latrines for a living, the book tells us how intricately the caste apparatus has both dehumanised and normalised the oppression of ‘untouchables’.

People termed as ‘untouchables’ live with the constant imposed burden of being impure and unwanted. One of the high points of the novel is when Bakha is slapped because he committed the ‘crime’ of touching an upper caste Hindu. It is telling of the arrogance of social power ingrained in the caste system.”………………………

Another book:

“Ants Among Elephants: An Untouchable Family and the Making of Modern India by Sujatha Gidla

The author was an ‘untouchable’ born in Andhra Pradesh who moved to the US in her mid-twenties. In her memoir published in 2017, she writes of her life-long struggle with the social ostracism she has faced because of the caste system which has shaped her identity and the memories of humiliation that burdened her family.

In this anecdotal account of growing up in a society that constantly reminded her of being less human than most, Sujatha Gidla talks about the mistreatment of ‘untouchables’, how they were termed as ‘polluted’ and how their segregation was normalised and forced to be their reality.

Gidla’s deep-rooted anger from the life-long oppression is something you can’t miss in the book. She says: ”If you get them to believe your lie, then, of course, you cannot tell them your stories, your family’s stories. You cannot tell them about your life. It would reveal your caste. Because your life is your caste, your caste is your life.”……………..

Me speaking to Mother God:

ME: It seems to me, Mother God, that there is a strong parallels between my family’s view of me – which started unrighteously at age 10 – & society’s view of me being a stripper – that both look on me as an outcast. My family simply added on to the bad image my entering the adult trade – more fuel for the fire of burning me at the stake.

What does this all mean to Mother God, who orchestrated & managed my life? What good is this? She loves me & would never do me harm. What good does all this do me & society, then?

MOTHER GOD: You are a representative of those that are oppressed, downtrodden, ‘Blessed are the poor, the persecuted, etc.” By you winning against the status quo, the Patriarchy, the haters, the cowards, the discriminators & Pharisees, your victories are not just for yourself, you win for them all. You win for billions of those oppressed. So don’t give up or in, don’t back down, stand your ground.

You gave a theatrical name for various folks of your clan. Their name for you would be “Queen of the North who came to challenge us,” you decked all in white fur. {end channel}

SHE TRIES TO FRAME ME FOR HER THEFT

There was an old man, Mr. Riley, who became Mom’s sugar Daddy after she went to buy a car. The first car we bought was a ‘balloon,’ ancient, my bro drove it into a ditch in the field & there it stayed. But later guess we got a better one, after Mom put out to the dealer.

Mr. Riley came by to take the family to dinner. I went to the first one & thereafter was excluded, because he liked me. I was kind to him & when he visited went out of my way to chat. He said,

“Why is it that every time I come by, Rasa is working?”

They said,

“She just does that when she sees you coming.”

It was because of this good man that we got storm windows, central heating & hot water. The house went from uncomfortable shack to ‘Wow, this feels so good!’

But here’s the incident I want to share. One time Mom took me shopping with her – to Steinbeck’s in Trenton, New Jersey. She bought a fortune in underwear, girdles, slips, stockings & such. Those things were much more expensive then than they are now. At the end she brings me Mr. Riley’s charge card & says,

“Rasa, you have such beautiful hand writing – will you sign this?”

I look at it, see his name & tell her I can’t, because it’s another person’s card. I was about 12-13 years old.

She then signs it herself. The saleslady saw this whole thing & said not a word.

I forgot the incident until a few weeks later Mom says,

“Someone stole Mr. Riley’s credit card, & they say it was you.”

It was YEARS before I figured it out. So my Mom was a cold hearted thief, among other things…………………

‘The Purpose of Writing My Life’

I’m not done yet but want to give my reasons for the efforts put here. For one thing, its catharsis, the way you do with therapy, tell your story. Venting what happened in your life is not grudges or revenge or hate, it’s simply stating this or that happened, it made me feel certain ways. Then you get it off your chest. It’s like talking to a good friend, if only someone listens & you feel they care, it helps.

The Part 2 of my life was taken from some of the You Tube videos, which I made for catharsis.

But before I’m finished with Life, I want to make sure that it is explained as it was, as I have noticed that people misunderstand, misread, twist, change, portray a life not accurately, but by the surface, their own ignorance, uninformed ideas, delusions & assumptions, & then there goes your life down the drain.

Take the life of Aimee Semple McPherson, one of the greatest women of all time. I read a great biography of hers, that told the real deal. There was a second one I trashed as a dumb woman said her motive in life was to gain power.

The best one is by Daniel Mark Epstein: “Sister Aimee: The Life of Aimee Semple McPherson.” She did more FAITH HEALING MIRACLES than Jesus Christ himself. She was the most famous woman of her time.

Toward the end of her life she met a fat guy, who sang in her Church, a bed hopper. He had not a shred of religion in him.

In the end, how is this phenomenal Holy Person remembered? By a scandal where she was kidnapped that somehow got twisted into ‘it was her fault, she made it up.’ And last but not least, ELMER GANTRY.

Sinclair Lewis was a contemporary of Aimee, he knew her story well. He took the fat opera singer, turned him into a great evangelist, Aimee into his Jr Partner, not too bright. The vocalist, who never preached anywhere but in bed, gets portrayed by Burt Lancaster as the top reformer of his day. He seduces Aimee, takes over her ministry – she has to pay off a prostitute – Aimee turns out to be some kind of retard as her Church is burning, she just stands there. That’s how Hollywood turned it around, made a fool of her & put a man as the star.

I am pondering what will they do to my life story? I had an outfit that wanted to do a documentary on me, but all they wanted was sex, pornography, the people I knew in show business & porno. After a while of putting up with this, I told them I was a woman of God, God was first & foremost, & if they didn’t see it that way, no deal, so they hit the highway. Yes, I got something out of it. They procured the movie that was made on me – ‘She Did it His Way,’ produced when I was 21 – I had been seeking it for 50 years.

Few people would ever understand the spiritual components of my life – I have to explain them, they understand ON THEIR OWN LEVEL. Which reminds me of the analogy. There was a Holy Man in India sitting under a tree. He was deep in reflective spiritual thought, a blissful trance.

An alcoholic came by & said he was really stoned on whiskey – a drug addict walked over & said he’s been imbibing LSD or heroin, a marijuana smoker saw him & said he was high on grass. Not a single holy person came by & gave him credit for the truth, they all projected what they were.

Then there’s that classic of the blind men defining an elephant. One touches his tail – he’s like a rope. The other touches his trunk, he’s like a snake. Then his leg – he’s like a stump, & his side, wow, he’s a big wall.

There are people who relate to parts of me, people who see in me what is inside of them. How many people see my devotion to God, her grace upon me guiding me through life, my serving her through all my activities, learning & teaching?

How many people are CAPABLE of seeing my relationship to God which culminated in seeing her Face to Face, reaching the Sahasrara & Enlightenment?

Yes, they see it in St. Francis of Assisi, Saint Padre Pio, other saints. They see it in them. But in me, they see a body builder, a Stripper for God, a dominatrix, a Cougar, & various parts of my vocation & personality. They understand the parts, maybe, they don’t see the picture. If anyone wants to know me, they must hear my story of what I live for, what motivates me, what makes me tick, what gives me life, & what I am striving for, & that is God & God alone; to know, love & serve her & be happy with her on earth & in Heaven. Through every bit of my life She has guided me & I obeyed her, she has taken me to places I did & did not want to go, She has influenced me to serve her where it would do the greatest good to myself & humanity. That is the real story, the rest are miscellaneous tidbits.

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