MOM & BRO ARE SORRY

3-10-21 earthly MOM wants to make up-Be close to God

in good times as well

as bad

 

I’m at the old farm house & my human Mom & bro are here. We’re in the living room, & Mom has a lot of her clothes piled up on the left couch & some place else – & she says to me, she wants me to try on these two tops, see if they fit me.

I look at one. It’s pale pink with short sleeves, it might be too small for me but it stretches, I put it on & it fits ok. It has like at least 3 ‘ribs’ in front or pleats made of the same soft, almost shiny material. It has an unusual smell – not perfume, not good or bad, an average smell, maybe it’s her smell, not sure.

Then I see a tan top of a twill material, stiff, that I know will be too small for me–it’s for an infant size. I ask her if that’s the other one, but she says no, it’s the white one.

*(HUMAN MOM: This is the third day in a row she appears to me, it’s in commemoration of her death. What is God doing here?
She’s in Heaven, not in a high place, with my brother.
Her wanting to give me two tops, that come out of her own wardrobe, is wanting to give me GIFTS. They would be part of her SPIRITUAL TOOL BOX or GIFT BOX. Since they cover the UPPER BODY which includes HEART these must be GIFTS OF LOVE. Mother God, what are the vertical ribs in front?

 

MOMGOD: RIBS IN FRONT are stripes, ‘by his stripes we are healed.’ They might represent SCOURGING, being over the CHEST they have to do with EMOTIONAL PAIN. She’s offering you the grace she received for HER OWN EMOTIONAL PAIN – saying, ‘This I can give you, my grace for my own pain, as a gift.’

ME: And how do you figure the white top? And what is the twill infant top that is not meant fo rme?

MOMGOD: The white could be several things in the context of this dream. The most likely idea is ‘My motives toward you are WHITE/PURE, I will not deceive or betray you this time.’ {She trapped me several times into a place where she betrayed me or double/crossed me–cruel stuff.})*

However, there is a SCENT that goes along with her first gift which is OF HER & it portrays someone that is not a HOLY SAINT, but rather an ordinary being – the SCENT FROM SAINTS is Heavenly or inebriating – this is not like that, it’s ORDINARY.

I’m not rejecting her gifts of love, but also am not blissed out. The ‘turn off’ was the smell. It seems also that I’m CONSIDERING what she wants to give me but not necessarily ACCEPTING them. Just EXAMINING them, trying them on. )*

There’s also something to do here with a restaurant serving a meal. My bro has gotten some food – it’s a salad. He said,

“I don’t want to eat my salad alone.”

I think he was saying that Mom left his side to be talking to me, he wanted her or someone there so he could enjoy his meal with them.

*(Then my brother is also receiving food, starting with SALAD & wants to SHARE it, I think with Mom, not me, but wants her to pay attention to him rather than me. If this is so, it’s a strange ‘sibling rivalry’ sense for being in Heaven.
LEAVES like this – are symbols of VICTORY or SUCCESS. He wants to share his success. What this success is, I suppose, is that he made it to Heaven.

An alternative meaning could be that he wants to SHARE his victory of being in Heaven with me – since Mom wants to give me gifts, he wants to share this. Could be more likely than the sibling rivalry slant. It might be the three of us ‘reconciling’ or burying the hatchet – which I never had, they abused me, I did not abuse them. So this says they’re sorry I guess……My uncle also raised his head around this time from Heaven & said he was sorry I was abused & none of them stood up for me. He hated my Mom because she tried to break him up with his fiancé before they married – he knew what she was like & with my Dad, knew she was an abusive, devious person. But not one of them interviewed me, commensurated with me, or said anything to the family except once, when they all ganged up on me at the dinner table {it was the event when they kidnapped my daughter & were planning to have me declared an unfit mother, so they could have her – as I was the only person who had produced a child in the family} including Uncle, he said ‘None of you can judge her.’ That was the one & only time. )*

*(ME TO MOMGOD: What is going on here? The last two days before this her appearing to me was unpleasant. The dream of yesterday was so unpleasant I did not even try to recall & record it, & today, this. It’s extremely unusual.

MOMGOD: She is trying to reconcile with you. She is ashamed & embarrassed by what she did to you & compared to you, is in a lower state. When you look at the stature of a great saint in Heaven & this, her gifts are PALTRY, you look at her with sadness.

ME: OK, so I am not blissed out by her efforts. What am I supposed to be doing, be more grateful? Or is it ok if I just say ‘fine, I accept the gifts, but don’t expect me to get excited about them. What am I supposed to feel?

MOMGOD: You have forgiven her from long ago, but you will never feel great emotion for her, your brother, or aunt, or anyone who gave you grief. Jesus would not have felt blissed out if & when Judas repented, said he was sorry, & gave the Lord some paltry love. Jesus would have accepted it but certainly not jumped up & down with joy – same if the High Priest, or any of his torturers, or Pharisees, finally repented & gave him some love. He would have appreciated it but not gotten ‘emotional.’ So you appreciate this, like,
“Thanks Mom, I’m glad you have straightened yourself out,”
& that’s about it.
As far as your brother goes, he’s even less to get excited about as he feels he’s a success, & you’re happy for him, but his success is tiny. Just like her, he barely made it to Heaven. He is far from sainthood. But you’re glad he made it, so this might be his announcement to you that he succeeded.)*

……………………………………………………………………………..

TUNA FISH, GRANDMA

I was at my uncle’s house & we were working to fill the house with proper food, stocking up supplies. The house is a combination of more than one house I have known like here, some place else, but its appearance is vague.

*(UNCLE: In my vocabulary Aunt & Uncle are punishment. This doesn’t make sense as Uncle is providing FOOD. Could it be saying that through punishment nourishment will be given?
The house is undetermined, could be saying I don’t know where I am, what state of consciousness I am in or what state in life.)*

Then I see this large beige paper bag on a table, my Grandma is sitting at to the right. I open it & Uncle has gotten a huge supply of TUNA SALAD, fixed in blocks like the Haddock filets I have here, like 7″ long, 2″ deep, they are encased in saran wrap – just the size for subs.

*(TUNA SALAD: FISH is a symbol of CHRISTIANITY. It seems a strange dichotomy that NOURISHMENT is joined up with PUNISHMENT. It could be saying by our present SUFFERINGS we’re getting the greatest NOURISHMENT – & today’s suffering would be epitomized by my lady friend getting cancer. This BAD SITUATION is bringing God closer to our entire family – all of us are participating in the pain my lady friend is going through.)*

I’m startled that he got us all this which should feed the family a long time, but there isn’t room in the fridge for this large of a bag. I have gotten a small fridge, like 2′ square, I take it to the cellar, put it into some kind of open box against the wall, to the left, put the fridge there & the bag fits.

I come up & tell Grandma & whoever is listening,

*(GRANDMA: The deep, unconscious self. I am becoming AWARE of how suffering brings spiritual nourishment, that’s the subject of this dream.)*

“I was happy about the tuna but there wasn’t room in the fridge. I brought my own fridge, put it in the cellar, & when we need some we get it from there.”

*(FRIDGE: A REFRIGERATOR IS A STOREHOUSE where things are kept so they don’t spoil. In this case we’re saying SPIRITUAL GRACES ARE AVAILABLE, WITHIN US, but we access them at certain times. This is saying we can access these graces at any time, not only when we’re suffering.)*

I felt I had done a good deed to donate the fridge. But then I add,

“I forgot to look in our SECOND FRIDGE’ {which stands opposite the first one on the other corner of the room} because maybe it had room. Anyway, it’s fine in the small fridge in the cellar, except we have to walk down there when we want the tuna.”

*(IN THE CELLAR, WE HAVE TO WALK DOWN THERE TO GET THE TUNA: A cellar represents the lower life, the lower self, degrees of Purgatory or Hell – it is DESCENING TO THE DEPTHS. So again, this says when we descend to the depths of misery, be it anxiety, fear, depression, confusion, uncertainty – when we go to these depths we also get NOURISHED SPIRITUALLY as ‘Blessed are the poor.’)*

I felt maybe I was remiss as I forgot the second fridge upstairs & did the cellar deal, that people would have to go to the trouble of walking down there & getting it – a slight imposition.

*(WALKING DOWN THERE, A SLIGHT IMPOSITION: This might be saying to myself that we should not have to descend into trials to get nourished spiritually, we should find some way of getting ahead spiritually without suffering. In other words, let us love God just as much when we’re not miserable, let’s be close to God all the time, not just then.)*