College of God & Love, Core Tenets

I Have Reached Nirvana

Startling dream with a big Message 9-3-23

I woke up in the middle of the night dreaming of Tom Selleck & thought it was a sex dream – I used to be in love with him & met him.

The dream affected me so strongly; I had insomnia for 2 hours thinking about it. And when I figured out partially what it meant I was startled.

It was by no means about sex, nor even about Tom Selleck!

The dream told me about Jesus/God under the guise of Tom, & Tom asks me about the Divine Stigmata, & it portrays my present state being Nirvana {Buddhist} or Nonduality {Hindu.} It announces I have reached that state again. {I was in it for a time in 1981-82 & 2007 for a while, but it always ended when I went back into the world.}

The dream:

I am in this hotel – It’s not expensive or luxurious, the most ordinary you can think of, with old furniture, quaint, high, old fashioned metal bedstead {painted yellow} beds with soft, old bedding & bed covers. The one I’m staying in has a mauve thin very soft cotton cover with tiny white flowers all over it. This is the kind of hotel I always sought when I traveled – as cheap as can be, but I am surprised that Tom Selleck would visit anyone here as he is so wealthy, isn’t it beneath him, even if he’s making love with a female? Would he not procure an expensive room to see her in?

Ok, I see Tom Selleck has chosen to be with a female in the next room. I am madly in love with him so I want to snoop, but I don’t want them to know I’m looking. I crouch down on the floor of my room. My door is closed, there’s a narrow hall between us & their door is closed, but I can see through my door & theirs!

He’s just finished seeing her & he’s leaving. I see later he’s going to occupy the next room for the night.

I assume he finished making love to her, but she has clothes on, so how could that be? She’s sitting in a chair like my ‘captains chair’ with arm rests. She has her legs spread open, but on her body is a white girdle – the kind they wore in the 50’s or early 60’s, which is like ARMOR, lol. Her top is satiny dark, shiny.

Her features are strikingly exotic. She has black hair, medium length, & it looks Asian. It’s smooth, glossy, thick, bangs swept to the side coming down in points to her right. Her eyes are decidedly Asian or a mix.

Now I know Tom slept in the next room so I want to intercede when he starts to leave, get his attention. I want to wait by the door – he has to go through her room to gain the hallway, then the stairs downward, to exit.

I don’t want his lover to see me, so I hide behind the wall, in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet. Someone is coming. Is it her or him? I sense the air making a larger disturbance & presence, like that of a man, so I rush out into the hall & catch him halfway down the stairs, calling,

“Tom!”

He welcomes me, loves me, & as soon as we meet, we are close & kissing & he puts his tongue in my mouth & what is amazing is how long & hard it is, like an entire penis, & I’m able to take it all in! I sense his tongue to be like a sort of ‘stone’, mostly grey, with texture on it, strangely.

Now we’re in an embrace, me below him looking up, arms around hm & what is different & unusual is he’s not in a hurry to leave, like men usually are after they have sex. He is content to linger with me & communicate. I say to,

“You don’t know what I went through to get to you.”

This refers to my trip to Hawaii the first time, the diary 200 pages long I wrote about him & delivered it to his studio, but never got to meet him! This was early 1982.

Then I was booked to dance in Hawaii 1984 & he called me to come to the studio, he had some Polaroids taken of us, & I got to see him one more time at the studio for a few minutes. Neither one of us mentioned a date, except he was disappointed that I was not there when they came to the club I worked – I was so exhausted from the trip, I was asleep. I sensed he was interested in me but I had been celibate then for 6 years & would remain so for 24 more years, so I did not flirt or hint at a private meeting.

That is why this lady he is visiting is wearing clothes, especially the white girdle, which is like armor – this female is ME – my flesh!

After I make my statement re what I went through, he ays plainly,

“What I would like to know about, you tell me what happened to your brother & his girl friend.”

At the mention of ‘his girlfriend’ I see to the right, as if she was there, the teeth edges of a saw, yellow.

I’m disappointed that he asks about my brother – that situation I didn’t want to talk about; I wanted to talk about Tom & me. But I say, without further explanation,

“Oh, they broke up”

And then my mind blanks out, I can’t even recall what I was going to say about my struggle to get to Tom.

MEANING:

Tom Selleck is a symbol of Jesus/God & this goes back to the time I prayed for the Divine Stigmata. In order to afflict the Grace on me, which is one of total loss/deprivation & spiritual poverty the Lord first had to take me down from the Heavenly place I was in, & cause me to fall in love – to desire a man, which would eventually lead to a total rejection, heartbreak & burnout of my heart charka & the charkas above it, including the Sahasrara, & I would be bereft of the thing I loved the most – the Presence & communication with Almighty God!

What more likely subject to fall in love with than the man everyone was then speaking of, – the tallest, handsomest & sexiest of all the men of Hollywood?

God uses physical people & things or situations we desire as BAIT for a purpose. This purpose was I was to LOSE, not gain, & was to be devastated, deprived, & left spiritually homeless!

But Tom only got me started on the earthly love path. When I returned to the mainland I was talking to a blonde, blue eyed Marine at the recruiting station, & because Tom was so nice, he would not inflict me with rejection. But this marine, because he was not nice, did so. I started my usual customary chase – as I always do when I’m love, & he ran like Hell, the way James Brown had done, the way others would do later in my life. Men are like wolves. When you run they chase. When you get aggressive they run.

Because I called every day, he got so scared, he moved from his barracks {which was preposterous – I didn’t even know where the crap the barracks were!} And he stopped returning or answering my calls while I became more & more desperate, going crazy. This always happened with me – God knew this would happen so She led me into this trap, out of my Heaven, into the suffering of human sense.

Tom here is Jesus/God, & instead of hearing me out how much I love him, he wanted to hear about my bro & his gf – that represents the marine & me!

Indeed, the Stigmata is not my favorite point of discussion & there is another message here, where, when He asks about this, my mind blanks out.

Yesterday I made a prayer. I have four female relatives in my family all of whom have no respect, even have contempt & hate toward me. Whenever I think of them, I suffer. And for some reason they come to my mind – probably because it’s so unfair – I’ve never done anything to hurt them! I’ve only done good to them! So I prayed,

“God, I ask this favor. These women, whenever I think of them, I feel pain. Could you help me to forget them, never think of them? Because I’m in the state of Nirvana & I don’t want it interfered with. {I said this without being totally serious.}”

And now, when I think of the marine & his gf, who is me, my mind blanks out, as an answer to this prayer, because he hurt me so badly, badly enough that my charkas burned out. Of course, this was the Grace of God in answer to the prayer for the Divine Stigmata, which was granted!

And so, God is telling me,

“Rasa, these people persecuting you is a Grace, just like Stigmata was. Do not attempt to erase it, as you erase the memory of Graces, which have done you great spiritual good.”

And so I rescinded the prayer, but ask God,

“What good does these four women persecuting me {mentally, emotionally} bring me?”

And God says,

“It breaks away your attachment to family. Remember, all the great saints, even Jesus & Buddha, left their families to be with God. Buddha left his wife & children. Jesus taught an important lesson about detachment from one’s family for the sake of God.

Look at all the Saints, hermits, recluses & anchorites. Family distracts one from God. Consider yourself blessed that they don’t respect you or want to be with you, they have left you alone to be free for the sake of God.”

Me: Could you explain what the exact meaning is of Tom / Jesus / God giving me that significant kiss? And loving me, wanting to linger with me & his tongue the way it was?

Mother God:

In the past, you gave God your celibacy. Even the most handsome, sexy man in the world could not make you break your vow {nor the richest as the man who proposed marriage to you with his 200 million dollars!}.

You have arrived & achieved your greatest good, that of being One with God. You want nothing else. There are no desires, no ambitions, no yearnings, except to be with God & do her work. This ends suffering.

You proved your love for God in no uncertain terms. Now this is a new day. The pain is over; you are not to suffer any more. You have reached the state of Nirvana in Buddhism, in Hinduism, called Nonduality.

Me: I’ve been here before, Mother God. Do I stay here now or will I sink back down again?

MG: I predict this is permanent. Even if the movie of your life comes out & you’re besieged with attention, it won’t rock your boat. You are set in your state.

Me: Why is his tongue like a rock & as long as a penis & I can take it all in?

MG: To represent solidness & permanence. God has penetrated you or entered you permanently, solidly, for all time.

Me: Why is this a poor, cheap hotel {but charming to me} – the kind I like, while I am surprised he’d lower himself to be in a place like this?

MG: It’s about you in your state of spiritual poverty, while He is God, so mighty, so exalted, & He lowers himself to us, so low down compared to him/her.

Me: Why am I hiding from my own flesh, spying on her, seeing through doors & walls, hiding behind a wall from her in order to meet Tom?

MG: This is about the Spirit, not the flesh. You sacrificed the flesh to be with God & now you don’t want the lower self to interfere or have any opinions or feelings, lol.

About the transition of love going from Tom to the marine. As I said, Tom was kind to you. But the marine reacted in a hysterical manner, the way James brown & others did, to your aggressive behavior. And so, out of fear, he rejected you brutally. And this devastated you. So the path you were on had to lead to this, so your love was transferred.

College of the Gender War, Core Tenets

He writes Myths like they were Facts

Answer to video Sacred Sex on You tube

Glorian: Practical Spirituality to Awaken Consciousness and Liberate it from the Causes of Suffering

I suggested they check Dr. Bryan Sykes for biological facts re male & female – they removed my comments fast

The female body building champion in this article is Christa Lou Cormick, daughter of Ozay Rinpoche in Great Britain

Our history is far more incredible than modern science or religion suspect. Rather than being the descendants of apes or of two divinely created people (and the incest of their children), we are the outcome of a very long and slow spiral cycle — evolution and devolution — whose pattern includes the rise and fall of civilizations faintly remembered in myths and scriptures. Most importantly, in that history we learn the truth about the origin of our suffering, and how it is related to sex.”

Rasa’s answers to the video:

All fetuses are FIRST FEMALE. Look at the biology, not myths for that. When the fetus is the size of grapefruit seed, they stop being ‘reproductive’ as females & begin to turn into males, which are NOT REPRODUCTIVE. The sperm of a male is a ‘parasite’ according to scientists & can only present the male DNA to the female to reproduce.

the woman’s clitoris is NOT an ‘atrophied penis’! The penis is an enlarged clitoris. Remember, the female form was first. She might have been a hermaphrodite, but reproduction is in the female, not the male. You are presenting this in the male-supremacy model, a biased male view; obviously we have a Patriarch here. For the facts look to the world’s top geneticist, Dr. Bryan Sykes of Oxford, & his book “Adam’s Curse – a Future Without Men” – human men are going EXTINCT. So much for your version of male as the superior sex! Their y chromosome is crumbing & cannot repair itself. Woman has two X, male only one. When his y crumbles completely in about 100k years, there will be NO MORE HUMAN MALES. Women can reproduce without males in more than one way. See Dr. Sykes.

Where do you get this information? It is theories, ideas, not facts. You give no origin for your studies. I agree that way long ago the humans were all females/hermaphrodites perhaps. And eventually they created two genders. But I do not pretend these are facts, they are ideas & theories. How do you explain that we share 98% of our genes with apes? Bonobos & Chimpanzees. Yes I believe in myths but you are misinterpreting myths according to male bias. The science of today is PROOF of female superiority, her having two X chromosomes, male an XY, the Y a broken down X that cannot repair itself. And I do agree that in ancient days of Matriarchy, sex was sacred. It was conducted in Temples with the Sacred Harlots, men gave them money. The first ‘brothels’ according the Patriarchy. The Patriarchs degraded sex to become taboo, dirty, unclean subject to control BY MEN, in order to control women. But originally in Tantric sex the FEMALES gave Light & Enlightenment to men through sex, being that women were in all ways superior to men, spiritually included. As men conducted sex with the Sacred Women, withholding their orgasm as taught by women, they eventually gained Enlightenment.

The degradation of our society occurred through Patriarchy – the rule of men. When this rogue segment of males – a third according to the Myth of Lucifer – took over the world, it was the rule of Satan. Satan is the Prince of this world, he works through men. Women were responsible for males becoming rogue by mating with the most masculine males over the centuries, when eventually, a third of them became so masculine with all its drawbacks {lack of empathy, insensitive, no maternal instinct, born to protect & kill, don’t know how to love but to use & exploit} that they TURNED AGAINST WOMEN & GOD AS A MOTHER & said ‘I will not serve.’ They then attacked, murdered & intimidated women to do their bidding, which is the OPPOSITE of the design of God. We live in an upside down world where the ‘lunatics are running the asylum.’ Males who should be obeying women are obeying their ID {see Freud} which is the lowest nature, the primitive instinct. This instinct is how we describe demons: no redeeming value, cannot be saved. With this instinct they rule the world, they steal, kill & destroy, – check the Old Testament, a crazy tribe that says God told them to do this & that, while the 10 Commandments are only for their own people. They think they are ‘chosen’ – lol – for what, by whom? Then they say God told them to attack communities & steal all their resources, rape their girl children. This is NOT GOD. They invented God in their own image & likeness. Then they imagine God told them to do what they wanted to do, so they are exonerated & sinless – everyone else is sinful & perverted, but not they. Meanwhile they have dozens of wives & hundreds of children, like Gideon. Take the Old Testament with a block of salt.

The Christian myth of Lucifer & the Hindu myth of Maharashtri with Durga/Kali explains the emergence of Patriarchy, it’s identity, its evil, & finally, its removal through male extinction. See Dr. Bryan Sykes on the extinction of human men. He said they are a ‘genetic experiment that did not work, therefore nature is taking them out.’ He & Dr. Ashley Montagu both said the human male is a parasite on the body of the female.

College of God & Love, Core Tenets

Paul Takes Jesus off the Cross

Will the Real Jesus Please Get off the Cross

Teachings of Paul Anthony Wallis on Jesus in India 1-4

Talk about answers to prayer. I was just writing the ‘Principles’ of our New Religion when getting to the “Jesus was a reincarnated Buddhist Guru” when I felt inadequate to present the case. Prayed several days during my Holy Mass & then in front of me on You Tube came what I thought was the old BBC documentary from 20 years ago – about Jesus in Kashmir – decided to refresh my memory on it & realized this is a much updated & comprehensive account of “Jesus in India, Parts 1 to 4” by Paul Anthony Wallis.

As I listened, at first unsure, a few minutes into it & saw this is custom-made for my needs, & answers all the basics for the work at hand.

First of all – this is imperative – Mr. Wallis explains in detail how Jesus did not die on the Cross.

He explains the torture of the Roman crucifixion. It’s asphyxiation, not the nails or the scourging or anything else. A person in this position on the cross must pull themselves up again & again to breathe. When they can no longer do so – because of pain, exhaustion or when their legs are broken by the soldiers, they expire. This process takes from 24 hours to several days. He says they often left the crucified for days at a time, lingering, until it was over.

But this crucifixion was timed so that it coincided with a forthcoming Jewish Festival {he says by design} & here enters a character mentioned in 3 of the canonical accounts – who held an astounding role in Jesus survival of death – Joseph of Arimathea.

Most of us know his name but not who he was. Mr. Wallis calls him a ‘magnate,’ a big-time businessmen who traveled the world broadly with his interest in TIN {then significant}. He was in the British Isles on this quest {the Romans wanted to conquer Britain for its tin in the West of England – Somerset, Cornwall, etc.}

He was influential, a member of the Sanhedrin & what’s more, a friend of Pontius Pilate.

There is a crucial incident in the account of the canonical gospels {Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, – whereas the Gnostic Gospels are Philip, Peter, Thomas & Mary Magdalene}. It is this: Shortly before Jesus cried out that He was giving up the ghost – {“It is finished – Father, into thy hands I commend my Spirit!”} & passed out, He’d been given a drink – vinegar, gall & spices.

Paul Wallis believes this drink expressly given him was to make sure he was in a deep state of unconsciousness so that when the soldiers came by to break legs he appeared so dead it was not necessary. It seems to me that Joseph of Arimathea had anticipated every step of Jesus’ crucifixion survival!

It was the soldier Longinus that delivered the spear into Jesus’ side, Anne Catherine Emmerich says he was inspired by the Holy Spirit – when the other men were about to break his legs, to say, we shall see if he is dead, & when he thrust the lance into his side {not the heart, not the lungs, between the ribs I surmise} Jesus did not react as one might do if given smelling salts after fainting – & so, thank Heavens, He was presumed to be dead. Saint Emmerich says that the water & blood, splashing onto the face of Longinus, changed him forever, he was reborn & became a Christian. {this paragraph from Rasa, not Mr. Wallis.}

Now comes a critical part. Joseph of Arimathea goes to his friend, Pontius Pilate, & says, more or less,

“We need to take those crucified down off the crosses, as a Jewish Festival is imminent, there will be riots if they remain there.”

Below: Painting imagining Joseph of Arimathea

But Pilate doubts if Jesus is dead & rightly so. He was only up there six hours, when the minimum usually required for death is 24! But the spear wound convinced him & pressure from Mr. Arimathea plus his wife softened him up.

He also agrees to release the body of Our Lord to Joseph for burial in his family vault/cave. {It was his own intended grave!}

On the third day after death here comes Joseph of Arimathea with the Rabbi Nicodemus {Jesus’ fan & night visitor}, with large bags of herbs. These herbs – Myrrh & Aloe – are used for embalming, but also for healing & to heal wounds.

Mr. Wallis does not explain how they got into the tomb, as it was guarded by soldiers with a huge stone which would take mighty strength to roll away.

You can imagine, however, Roman soldiers could be bribed {Joseph had plenty money!} &/or gotten drunk. Maybe they helped roll the stone away. Maybe they passed out from strong wine & Joseph & Nicodemus rolled away the stone, using iron staffs you can move tons.

Britain attacked & conquered part of Tibet – A bloody attack, I saw a documentary

I was wondering whether these men secreted Jesus somewhere in Jerusalem to recover, but I like Mr. Wallis’s idea better. He says it would have been easy for Joseph to convey Jesus to the nearest Port – where he was familiar with the boats – & whisked him off to a foreign country, out of the way of danger, eventually to the Kashmir he visited in his 20’s & loved, where He would remain for the rest of his life until death at 80.

Now to answer, in my mind, whether Jesus appeared to his disciples & others – I figured he was in the vicinity & appeared, to their astonishment, in person. But if He was not there, then He must have appeared in bilocation, IMO, the way He walked on the water.

Jesus Lost Years 12 to 29

Below: Nicholas Notovitch

Recently I channeled Jesus, asking him about his ‘Lost Years’ where He disappears from the Bible. He told me,

“Figure it to be 14 to 26 or so I was in India – studying, preaching & doing my usual miracles & healings.”

And here Paul Wallis confirms my info when he claims Jesus appeared in India age 14, & spent 6 years in ‘Puri’ & other places with his usual activities, & 6 years in Nepal with study of Buddhist scriptures. {It would take a lot of study as there are a hundred times more Buddhist scriptures than the entire bible! Rasa says.}

That adds up to about the time Jesus referred me to, give or take some traveling in between places he stopped.

Paul Wallis mentions how Jesus was always loved by the general public but hated by the elites as the obvious problem is elites think they’re superior to everyone & want to control them. Rasa says they want to be venerated & obeyed. And so Jesus, who was always against caste systems or privileged vs poor, would rankle their nerves. I have Nicholas Notovitch’s book, “The Life of Saint Issa” where he describes some of the opposition by the powerful. In one place they wanted to kill him but were afraid to do it outright for fear of the people, but they put him outside the city gates, hoping He’d be devoured by a wild animal. {Rasa says: Isn’t it the truth that Jesus opposed the hierarchal, exploitative, warlike Patriarchs & professed Matriarchy – the culture of biophilia, life & love? The same as Buddha.}

Nicholas Notovitch presented his account of the Buddhist files to a Cardinal & a Metropolitan of the ChristianChurches. The Cardinal tried to buy it where he’d make sure if would disappear. Both were against its publication as it challenged the official narrative of the Church of Empire. Notovitch thank God declined both men, published it, when it became an international best seller. But all the tyrannical authority figures opposed his findings & denounced him, & a guy named Muller sent two military men to the Hemet monastery to ask if Jesus had been there & were there manuscripts? They were told no, they came back & from then on it was reported that Notovitch was a fraud, & his reputation greatly tarnished.

Why would the Hemet monastery honor any request of the English military when they did this {following}? I saw a documentary where they got a Hindu teacher to secretly, stealthily, map the route to Tibet, so they could invade, with modern military equipment & great bloodshed, the people who did not want to invite the outside world. Obviously, the English were enemies to the Tibetans. If they showed or gave them the manuscripts to see, the English might attack them, steal or destroy these manuscripts!

From Wikipedia:

“The British expedition to Tibet, also known as the Younghusband expedition,^[] began in December 1903 and lasted until September 1904. The expedition was effectively a temporary invasion by British Indian Armed Forces under the auspices of the Tibet Frontier Commission, whose purported mission was to establish diplomatic relations and resolve the dispute over the border between Tibet and Sikkim.^[3] In the nineteenth century, the British had conquered Burma and Sikkim, with the whole southern flank of Tibet coming under the control of the British Indian Empire.

The expeditionary force fought its way to Gyantse and eventually reached Lhasa, the capital of Tibet, in August 1904. The Dalai Lama had fled to safety, first to Mongolia and then to China proper. The poorly-trained and equipped Tibetans proved no match for the modern equipment and training of the British Indian forces. At Lhasa, the Commission forced remaining Tibetan officials to sign the Convention of Lhasa, before withdrawing to Sikkim in September, with the understanding the Chinese government would not permit any other country to interfere with the administration of Tibet.

The mission was recognized as a military expedition by the British Indian government, which issued a campaign medal, the Tibet Medal, to all those who took part.”

Back to Paul Wallis. The situation favoring Notovitch’s findings changed in 1922. At that time there were people who also went to Hemet & got a positive response. There was Prof. Nicholas Roerich, two female scholars who took pictures including when the Llama showed them the manuscripts in the light of day. And there was Swami Abhedhananda, disciple of Sri Ramakrishna. These were shown the manuscripts & allowed to translate them. Abhedhananda translated them into several languages & published them.

Jesus in India after the Crucifixion

Here there is less information from any quarter I can find, except the legends & records of the local people, the indigenous. Of course the official narrative dismisses all this as erroneous. But somewhere, if one digs, one can find these stories.

Paul & other sources openly describe the place where Jesus is buried in Kashmir. It is a building which outside of it is the name, HAZRAT YOUSA ASIF – Which means ‘Healer – Leader of the Healed. This name is the Koranic version of Issa, which means Jesus.

This man was of the first century AD, when Jesus lived. He had the same name as Jesus & his ministry was similar. Furthermore, there is a cast in bronze of two feet, where the left foot had been placed on top of the right, & a 7 inch nail driven through it. This man had survived a Roman Crucifixion. If it wasn’t Jesus, who was it? He lived to be 80 & died of natural causes.

Paul Wallis deplores the narrow mindedness of the present Christian Church, which he said hijacked the PRIMITIVE form of Christianity. The original interpretation of it comes from scholars like Clement of Alexandria & Origen – all of whom believed in reincarnation {it was believed in the canonical accounts as well, where Jesus asked the disciples who do people say I am & one of them says the reincarnated Elijah}. He explains that the official narrative is as if the Jerusalem story lived in a bubble, but the truth is during that time, people traveled far & wide & therefore enjoyed the literature of the ancients & great philosophers like Plato, the Buddhist Sutras & the Hindu Vedas, among other things. He shows St. Paul borrowing from Plato & the Sutras. There were roads crisscrossing the world, caravans going to & fro at all times with trade – Joseph of Arimathea was part of this & Jesus might have traveled with him during his lost years & after the Crucifixion. These roads were good for access as they were monitored & protected by the Roman military! The world of Jesus & some of his disciples was one of much greater intellectual inclusion than the present Church gives them credit.

The present Church became an Imperialist one, nothing like what Jesus taught. Jesus said our Church is one of brothers {& sisters}, not one which bows to authority. Call no man your Father except the one in Heaven! The Church eventually became religious Feudalism & an organization which strove to hold people in check, & behave as ‘good citizens’.

Rasa says, it was not for the people, it was for themselves, it deteriorated like every other Patriarchal Institution, corrupted, murderous, cruel, unfair, everything bad.

P.S. Paul mentions Mary Magdalene. He says that the Gnostic gospels place her in a much more favorable light than do the canonical ones. She was a wealthy woman, who along with JoAnna Chuza, {He says the wife of the Prime Minister or Chancellor of Herod – the bible calls him the Steward, apparently in an attempt to minimize the importance of JoAnna says Rasa} financed Jesus’ ministry. It is said she was sighted in France with Jesus & their family. The Gnostic gospels say that Jesus kissed her on the lips. She was called a ‘Mountain’ & a ‘teacher’ with Jesus.

According to Anne Catherine Emmerich {the greatest visionary of all time – the movie ‘The Passion’ was based on her account—Mel Gibson did not give her credit, he credited ‘Jesuits’} Magdalene was the daughter of a Roman Prince & a Jewess. She was so beautiful her Mom put her to sit in a window facing the street so passer bys could gape at her beauty. This nourished vanity & pride in her – these were her sins she repented after meeting Jesus – NOT prostitution!

She owned the city of Magdala with her brother Lazarus. Not sure who Martha was to her, a real sister or cousin. And yes, they were wealthy. Saint Emmerich said she gave a lot of money to Jesus & with some of it he bailed many political prisoners out of jail.

Mary Magdalene was carried to hear Jesus speak on a Palanquin. But she fell in love with him & through his Passion & Crucifixion was distraught like no one else.

Anne Catherine also said that Magdalene was the most evolved of all the disciples & tat Jesus wanted her to lead the Church. But the Apostles, led by Peter, pushed her out, & she retreated to the Essenes, where later, among the caves, her Gospel was discovered.

I have no problem that she was mated with Jesus, had a family & appeared in France. Why not?

Check out Paul Anthony Wallis with his “Jesus in India Parts 1 to 4” on You tube.

College of God & Love, Core Tenets

Save Nick’s Child

8-17-23 Save an infant’s life & Spiritual Sex

Save Nick’s Child

Scene One of the dream:

A man I love is in front of me lying on his back. I hover over him & kiss him deeply, a French kiss. I sense that my tongue touches a sensitive part of the inside of his mouth, like a clitoris.

We’re on a staircase in a tall hallway, our family or friends are calling us to dinner below to the right & I guess we go.

Meaning: This is my spiritual husband Nick. I was speaking to him yesterday which is seen as a ‘French kiss.’ It was NOT about sex. I was telling him how much more I respect him now ever since he brought me his dead friends in Purgatory to minister to. I congratulated him on how much he had improved spiritually.

The call to ‘dinner’ is probably me saying the Holy Mass & besides the Souls I say it for, Nick & I also receive its benefits. ***

Scene two: A man I love is near me. He’s handsome but I can’t tell who he is. He’s reading

a book, has on round black rimmed glasses like they wore in the 30’s & has on a lightly checkered summer shirt with short sleeves. The checks are light beige & maybe blue.

Meaning: Nick again. He’s seen as seriously studying. The book is probably a life review, where he went wrong, where he went right. Checks mean ‘the Cross’ so he probably regrets his mistakes – for the most part being a drug addict, staying with the female who provided drugs, not listening to me, not working on our relationship, not being with me except for sporadic sex, not taking my words seriously. The checks on his shirt show suffering for how he lived his life. ***

I say ardently,

“I miss you,”

Kissing his shoulder & face. We’re on a couch & covered by a thick rumpled blanket, & beyond us, a few feet below, is family & friends who don’t see us making out. They are preoccupied with something. One of them is wearing red, which means suffering, so it’s a problem they’re attending to.

Then I slide under the blanket to give my lover fellatio & begin. But I see to the right, a lady walks in. At this he gets out from under the blanket & says to me,

“We must stop.”

The lady comes up to me, hovers over me to congratulate me on something I did. She speaks of it seems I was checking the baggage coming in from an airplane & in a suitcase I heard an infant crying. I opened the suitcase & saved the infant’s life. No one else had heard the crying.

The lady has on a sort of soft bikini bra, I can only see cups in light pale green, don’t see the straps or anything. Strange wardrobe.

Meaning: I’ll need help from you, Mother God, as this is baffling. The dream shows the effect of my conversing with Nick for a short time, telling him consoling things & praising him, this reflects into ‘making love’ with him. Then there’s Holy Mass & a lady who tells me I saved a child’s life. How does it all fit together?

Mother God: It may fit like this. Nick has a small son, 4 years old. You contacted the Mom of the tyke, & you warned her not to leave him with certain people who are pedophiles. She reacted with threats of violence. But nevertheless, this says you saved his life. He would have had a fate similar to Nick or his brother, who’s been in jail for years. Abuse brings devastation on the person. Although the Mom reacted negatively, you hoped she’d think about it & take a different course, which this suggests she has.

This is the most logical answer I can give on the subject.

Who is the lady & her strange bra? It might be a celestial being or it might be the Mom herself having a change of heart. The breasts represent love.

Why the airline baggage, child in suitcase? Airplane could mean a message ‘from above,’ & child in a suitcase is how helpless a baby is, just being put like that, cannot defend itself. Your prayers for children this way have been constant.

The people in a group beyond you who do not see your love making, one wearing red, sounds like people discussing the problem facing Nick’s child – being left with a pedophiliac. The suffering woman is probably the lady who finally got the message to the baby Mamma & was threatened by her. The child’s Mom refused to speak to you when you tried to contact her {because we were rivals for Nick}, so you asked your friend to convey the message. She suffered for it with threats.

College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets

Jesus & Mary Equals

Principles of the New Religion 8-14-23

Principle 1 – That Jesus & Mary are Equals

Jesus & Mary are equals. They are both God, as in the attitude of Yoga ‘The Guru is God.’ In Yoga we do not look at the Guru as the flesh but as an Embodiment or Incarnation, we look at the God within the Guru, as he or she is Self Realized or Enlightened.

Mary created Jesus without participation of a man. The Holy Spirit gave her the ability of parthenogenesis, a skill all women once had which has become vestigial. In one of the Eucharistic miracles, Jesus turned from bread into real flesh. This flesh was sent to three laboratories to analyze, without telling them the source of the flesh. Each one came to the same conclusions:

“This was the Heart Tissue of a living man! Not a dead man – they asked, how did you obtain this living tissue from a living man?”

And his DNA had no y chromosome. We need to ask Dr. Bryan Sykes, how could Jesus be a man when He had no y chromosome? Was this a miracle? Dr. Bryan Sykes has determined the y chromosome is crumbling & cannot repair itself. When it disappears, in about 100k years, there will be no more men.

As Holy Mary created Jesus, She presented us his Body & Blood & it was the same as hers. She was the first Priest & the first Pope.

In the book of Ven. Mary of Agreda, ‘The Mystical City of God,’ four volumes which are the life of The Bl Virgin, dictated to Mary by our Queen, the following is revealed:

Before Jesus entered the Garden of Gethsemane to await his arrest, he visited his Holy Mother in her oratory. Standing before her & taking her hands, he stated,

“Mother, let us begin the work of Salvation.”

He did not say ‘Let ME begin the work of salvation, he said US.’

How did Mary tangibly work as partners with Our Lord?

In a monumental revelation, see ‘Next Level Soul Podcast’, interview of Alex Ferrari with Alx Utterman – She describes her experiences with Sri Kaleshwar, a miracle man of India. Here she tells us that Sri Kaleshwar has revealed that the most powerful charka in the body is the WOMB Chakra, hitherto unknown to the west. It contains the data from all our past lives & their karmas! He also explains that only the female has a Womb Chakra, & the male has to use the Womb Chakra of his Mother if he utilizes it. And then he adds,

Dictated to Ven. Mary of Agreda (1601-1664) by the Blessed Mother herself, The Mystical City of God is an amazing collection of four books of revelations about the life of Mary and the divine plan for creation and the salvation of souls that has been enthralling readers for centuries.

“Jesus had the most powerful Womb Chakra of any living man.”

Now think. If Jesus employed the Womb Chakra to do his work, his miracles & healings, it was the Chakra of his Holy Mother! Look what this implies! It means She had the most powerful Womb Chakra of all time & Jesus was using it – they were equals. Alx Utterman said she might have reincarnated a million times to have attained her level of evolution.

Now on another level. We know how a loving Mother bonds with her child so that its every pain is her pain. She suffers with the child when it suffers, she grieves when it grieves, she is totally bonded with her child if she’s a good Mom. Her suffering is equal with his or hers. When Jesus suffered, Mary suffered, every one of his pains was her, in the Passion, She was with him in Spirit in the Garden – She knew He was about to be betrayed. She was with him at the scourging, the entire Passion. Everything done to him was done to her, She felt it & lived it. And when He expired, She expired. When He forgave his enemies, She forgave them.

There was an absolute Mystical connection with them, She supported him like no one else COULD. Her Holiness was above all.

And after Jesus left the scene, Holy Mary invented the ‘Way of the Cross’ & relived it every Friday; the beginning of devotion to his Passion. And then, She led the Church, not officially recognized, but unofficially, She was the head of his Church. All the Apostles deferred to her, & St. John lived with her as her Son helping Mary in the absence of Our Lord. Jesus decreed it from the Cross,

“There is your Mother, Mother, there is your Son.”

He represented all of us.

It is also She who appears to the human race so many times to save us from the effects of sin & wars. They are equal partners in the Salvation of mankind.

When we say the Holy Mass in the New Religion, it is the Body & Blood of Jesus & Mary. Amen.

College of God & Love, Core Tenets

Value of my Mass

8-7-23 Result of Neglecting to Say Mass

This dream answered my question. Since I am offering in my prayers daily, all the Masses said throughout the world for the Souls in Purgatory, do the Masses that I say for them have any value or are they a moot point?

This tells me they have great value, they are more important than my prayers concerning all the Masses said on earth.

The dream:

I am performing in a theater. Somehow I did not have all the required or best costume, but I scraped together what I could, several layers of clothing one on top of the other which I will remove – as I’m strip teasing.

There’s a sort of ‘hallway’ with stars that goes up to a loft where the music man works. He puts on the music & I dance. There’s a large audience of men & women, seems equal. They have all heard about me, the seats are full. At least 100 people. And they seem jolly & happy & are well dressed.

After I remove some items they applaud loudly. But the music gets quiet, so much so that I call to the loft,

“Make the music louder!”

At first, he does make it louder, but after that, it gets so quiet I can’t even hear it & he doesn’t respond to my yelling at him.

I have taken off everything except the top & to them, the breasts are the main thing they want to see. I do recall the last item of clothing covering them is a square light brown fur jacket, short haired fur, like a cat’s but very thick.

And as I’m struggling to get the man to make the music louder, most of the audience just gets up & leaves, they think the show is over. A few to the right, who were sitting facing the direction to the side, facing the audience instead of me, remain.

Another man says to me,

“The music man heard you but he couldn’t put the music louder because of some school nearby that needs quiet.”

And I cried out in dismay,

“Most of the audience has left!”

Meaning:

Me performing is conducting my spiritual work, prayer & the Holy Mass. They all applaud when I pray for them. But when I do not say the Holy Mass, that is the equivalent of not showing my breasts, which would be the highlight of mywork.

So it explains that my saying the Mass has great value, it is more important than the prayers.

What is the meaning of the music man in his loft?

Is this Our Lord? I can’t dance without hearing the music, He provides it. In other words, this is a joint venture, a partnership. He provides his Body & Blood, I say the words of consecration & the Mass is delivered to the Souls, I perform. And so if Jesus does not send his Body & Blood into the elements, this love is not received by the Souls – the audience.

What is the fur jacket? Seems to refer to the ‘animal self.’ I needed to remove my lower self {the garment} & do the most charitable thing, but when I failed to ‘take off’ the physical & rise to my higher self by doing the Mass, they received nothing from me & Our Lord.

College of God & Love, Core Tenets

I was Nefertiti Charbel Says!

7-25-23 Charbel Brings me a Gift – Nick appears for mystical sex 7-23-23

On his feast day the 24^th, St. Charbel did not appear to me in any way & I was disappointed. But I prayed to him the next day telling him even though I was unworthy, I know he blessed other people with healings, miracles & gifts, & I probably didn’t deserve anything as I ad not been watching any more documentaries on him, although I do pray to him daily. So I thanked him for all he did for others.

That night – last night, I had this dream. I believe this was Charbel. I have 7 mystical husbands right now & they at various times appear as my good husband Richard. So I cannot know for sure who they are until I examine the entire dream & other clues.

I go to a large apt where my husband Richard is waiting for me. Things are not in order & everyone is working to straighten out the large, airy, bright rooms. There are two women here besides me, one’s young & pretty, the other taller, more mature.

Richard & I greet each other & I feel the most intense & sweet love from him. In real life I looked upon him as a good brother & was never ‘in love’ with him & never had sex because I was celibate. But now I feel more romantic toward him.

After a while he is going out the door with the pretty young lady. I assume they’re going to have a meal, or else have sex. I have no right to tell him what to do so I don’t grieve about it.

But within one minute they are back. I see him, then her. So they didn’t do anything.

I look at this table here where things are strewn about & see a flat box, about 4”x4” & about an inch deep. I open it & see it’s filled with small wooden Egyptian carvings. I see the head of ‘Nefertiti’ represented 3 times, two are plain black, the third is painted in light colors just like the original head of hers wearing the Egyptian crown, & this one pops out of the box when I open it. There are other wooden thingies here too, all of which are neatly encased in a cardboard holder lining the box. Her head has a handle on the bottom so you can hold it, just like what I saw in the Martin Luther movie last night, where as a child he watched a marionette show & a man held a demon’s head by the handle & menaced Martin with it.

Then I see a nice piece of printed paper with colorful Egyptian drawings explaining the story of Nefertiti kind of ‘in the air’ & I find it fascinating & want to read it. I sense that Richard put this here for me to see. I intend to read it. It has a series of Egyptian images on top, in a row, going across this about 8” piece of paper, & it’s printed in a style that looks somewhat like ancient scripture, but not hand written, it’s modern printing. The background of the paper is dark, the letters are white.

I now go over to Richard – he’s wearing a white shirt, & ask him

“Have you eaten?”

I have a strong sense of caring about him.

I think he says no & suggests we eat together, but I say,

“I can’t eat until I straighten out this clutter.”

Meaning:

It seems this is St. Charbel. And he loves me deeply. The other two females, the tall one is someone important to him – probably Our Holy Mother who he was devoted to. The pretty young girl is my thinking that he’d ignored me because & got together with another female & it was not my business. But this shows I mustn’t be jealous, as he was with her only a minute & nothing big took place, no dinner or sex, which would be big spiritual bonuses. In other words, he doesn’t love another woman more than me, he’s spending a good deal of attention to me & a lot of love, & he brought me a Gift.

But I have no idea what this Gift means!

Nefertiti I just looked up. She was an Egyptian Queen who had great power, was even co-Pharoah & then maybe the Pharaoh when her husband died. The art shows her doing things only the Pharaoh does, like smiting the enemy.

She’s famous because of a statue done of her head. There’s also a NUDE statue of her!

She & her husband brought monotheism to Egypt with worship of the Sun God, Atem.

She’s described as “powerful, mysterious, independent, equal to her husband.”

What do the artifacts in the box tell me? There are 3 heads of Nefertiti. Two of them, charcoal black, stay in the box, the brightly painted one jumps out & it has a handle on the bottom, a stick to hold the head by. But what does this mean?

The only thing I can think of is that Charbel is providing me with a secret, that I am Nefertiti reincarnated. It’s hard to believe.

I was at a gypsy’s in Times Square, who told me

“You were a Queen in a previous lifetime. That’s why you are the way you are.”

I smiled in disbelief but she insisted.

The two heads in the box could be a hint – ‘Charcoal black’ – ‘Saint Charbel’ – it’s him.

It could also be what is long dead & gone, like generations gone by, people died, their remains ‘burned up’ like charcoal.

But one head jumps out at me – it’s Nefertiti with a HANDLE. What is that a clue to?

handle on:

1. A good physical hold on something. Make sure you’ve got a handle on your end of the couch before we try to lift it.

2. A newfound understanding of a topic or concept. Once I got a handle on how to operate the new system, I found that it made my job much easier.

Well, if I was Nefertiti then I should have a great deal of confidence in myself!

If it’s true, St. Charbel has given me a great gift of knowledge!

He has given me a HANDLE on my identity & character. Like Jesus was the reincarnation of a great Buddhist Guru – the Magi or Wise Men came to honor their previous Guru. It explains the character & teaching of Jesus – Christianity is exactly the same principles as Buddhism.

And my desires for Female Rule or authority would coincide with that of Nefertiti.

Nick visits me for love making 7-23-23

He appears as himself, very tall, elegant & thin. I shall keep the details to myself, it being personal.

College of God & Love, Core Tenets

Miracle Healing St. Charbel & Mystical Sex with Nick

More Birthday Gifts – Mystical Sex with Husband Nick – Takes me to his dead friends in Purgatory

St Charbel cured the cancer of someone I prayed for 7-17-23

A man appears in my apt in B’klyn. He’s some kind of spiritual entity, like he was in charge of something religious, but what I don’t know. He appears as a special favor, to comfort me I think.

He sits by my door & I’m on a stool or chair lower than his & am resting my head on him & holding his right hand. As I sit I’m in a deep mystical mood & I say to him,

“This is like Heaven to me.

He knew I loved him spiritually, I’m in a trance.

Then we go into my bedroom & there’s a porch outside my window where the fire escape was.

I feel I have to check the porch as I see a slight bit of smoke coming out of something, just a tiny bit but I must check to make sure it doesn’t start a fire. It’s like something in a pot.

Below is my lover for 11 years – Nicholas Anthony Van Dunk. I photographed him when he was 22. We are now united forever Soul to Soul.

I worry about opening up the ‘fire escape window’ because it has a lock. Do I have the key?

But when I stand before it, it’s only a white screen which I easily take off & climb through the open window to check the porch.

Here I see a mother cat with its kitten, lying calmly. She isn’t scared of me as I stoop by her to check the pot. It must have been an optical illusion as there is nothing burning, I see smoke far off. But something is hoping inside a clear glass jar, where it has rained & there is water. I turn the jar over to let the creature out, it’s a little cute frog. So it wasn’t hurt in the water.

I think there are other small creatures around, maybe another cat, but this is vague. I also pull two large fluffy pillows off the porch, saying,

“What are these pillows doing here?”

My mission done, I climb back into my room.

I tell the ‘counselor’,

Isn’t it great that I have a porch like this?”

Now as he stands by the wall across from me, his appearance is so:

Nick wrote ‘Cocaine & Broken Bottles’ as a way of reconciliation with me when I had avoided him a while. In it he said ‘Take my heart’ among other poignant things. It’s still on Sound Cloud https://soundcloud.com/nick-lambo13 – I forgave him for his wicked ways – It was the only song he ever performed live. But alas, I could not save him & he died from cocaine August, 2022

He’s not as tall as me & slight of build, so like he’s maybe 5’5” to my 5’7” & he’s thin & seems young. But his skin appears in a strange way, that he has alopecia, & part of it is light, part somewhat darker rose/beige, like a map.

And he says something strange as I was not thinking this way:

“I suppose you expect sex now?”

I was startled as I was not thinking of sex at all. But now that he mentions it, why not?

So I say,

“If you want to, we can do it. If you don’t I’ll be sad but I’ll get over it in a day or two. I am aware that I’m not fixed up to seduce a man, wearing ordinary clothes, no makeup. And I feared maybe he doesn’t want to do sex, but thinks I’m expecting it. And I let him know I’ve not had sex for four years.

Now he’s sitting in the window & his left arm is folded where I’m sitting beneath him, my face close to his arm so I think he needs some encouragement so I tenderly kiss his arm, which is covered by a soft light blue sleeve at the top of his shoulder. As I’m doing this he says something like,

“That’s good”

And I realize my hand is on his penis inside his loose pants, & the size of it, it’s so big it bends {not in real life} & I think,

“If I had known he had a penis like this, I would have immediately thought of sex, lol.”

I then physically pick him up & lay him down on the floor – carrying him so easily like he weighed nothing.

And we then have sex. It’s mystical, but it feels real. It’s ecstasy. And I know there is sex in Heaven & we can have sex with a saint or a person on earth through spiritual means, this is proof. Because Nick would appear to me while he was still living, in dreams, & make love to me, & it also felt real then. When he thought of me he’d send his Soul to make love.

But I did not realize right away this was my previous lover Nick, who I was spiritually wedded to before his death {April 21, 2019}, so he is united to my soul forever. But when I thought of his penis & then the feeling while we made love I suspected it was him. And the trancelike state I went into as soon as he appeared & I was resting my head on him & holding his hand was the same as always happened to me in his presence. For eleven years when we were together on & off, this trance always occurred.

And to top it all off, he was given to me for my birthday on July 10, 2011, when we met. He approached me. Then we disappeared from each other, but in 2014 we found each other again, he approached me, & from then on until 2019, he would appear for sure the week of my birthday to make love to me. There were many other times as well, but my birthday he always appeared until I stopped going downtown. So putting all this together I know this is Nick anointing me for my birthday!

The landscapes in this article are by Thomas Cole, the Father of the Hudson River Valley Style of Art

And there is more – a great surprise Gift. This dream happened first, before his arrival as ‘counselor.’ And I am amazed that Nick, together with his Guardian Angel, had the power to take me down to Purgatory to help all his friends who died of drug overdoses! They’re all in the same place because they were birds of a feather – all thought the same, believed the same & behaved the same. This has happened with many souls – those very similar appear to me together, like my Mom & brother are in Heaven together. {They were alike, he was the only person she ever loved.} Rudolf Nureyef appeared to me with my gay friend Rojer. Dean Martin appeared with Frank Sinatra.

So Nick was the ‘ringleader’ of sorts, or ‘life of the party’ with all his drug addict friends who were dying like flies, one every few weeks. Mostly guys, half of them black, just a few girls.

This dream will explain:

Nick & his Guardian Angel take me to Purgatory to help his Friends

A young man I like comes over with a tall male friend of his, visiting. I live in the city. There is a building nearby, across from me, that fascinates me. It’s made of all wood, beautiful, 3 stories tall. And in it is some sort of club or gathering place where young people go – part of these guys’s crowd. You have to be invited here, & they invite me & take me to this building.

I am fascinated by it – everything is beautiful wood. It has staircases that are 15’-20’ wide, but they leadd to nothing, no room, just a dead end, but then the staircase veers to the right, also wide, & you go down. The whole place is filled with these staircases & many rooms, wood from floor to ceiling.

My friends, I greet them, & one of the males turns into a kitten which I hold & kiss repeatedly & feel great love for it.

But then these guys disappear & I spend some time looking for them. I ask everyone where did they go, & they tell me the name of the place which I can’t recall, I think it’s another club. I keep asking & looking, as I don’t feel so comfortable here, as I don’t know anyone. I go outside & there’s a yard that looks like a playground of sorts, for kids. It’s surrounded by a white wire fence, the wires up & across. I don’t see anyone here but workers. One lady comes toward me from the right. She works here or serves the people inside, & she says something like,

“The people inside are hopeless.”

At one point, I was seated at a table & someone had presented me with food, Hindu style where you eat with the tips of your fingers from flat bowls. There were several dishes, all unusual to my taste but delicious, they are like sauces, creamy. And I have a slight fear that this isn’t for me but the members here, but keep eating, & a person near me says,

“These are expensive.”

And I sensed this stuff was extremely expensive.

Notice 4 pictures down, the red padded jacket? He had it when I met him. In the dream

this is one of the ‘ugly’ layers of clothes I have on & take them all , representing the vision I gave for his dead friends in Purgatory – All drug addicts no doubt

Notice how sad he looks the 3 images from the bottom up – This was the time he didn’t speak to me for 9 months

I am inside & look around & the place is strange, as no one is doing anything or drinking or dancing or talking. They’re all just sitting doing nothing in many different chairs, couches, all throughout these large room, mostly males in their 20’s, half of them black. All wear the same kind of clothes, baggy, in layers, ugly.

I’m wearing ugly clothes too. My navy blue oversized sweat pants. Then at first I only had one layer but then I see layer upon layer which I will take off as I rise into the air & dance.

None of these people looks at me or talks to me. What can I do? I decide to do something drastic. I just begin doing the things I was famous for downtown, like splits. And when I do one, I get some attention. Then I rise into the air doing steps & I take off so many layers of clothes including the jacket Nick used to have when I first met him that they stole from him – shiny red.

Yes, I get the attention I was looking for & one guy really stares – he’s handsome & has on a wide-brimmed bright green hat. I look at him pointedly also, our eyes acknowledging each other, & I hear a female behind me warning,

“Don’t touch him.”

Have no idea why? Did he have leprosy was a thought. Are all these people sick with some kind of disease?

…………………………………………………………….

Meaning of all this

For someone to take me to Purgatory is a phenomenon & a rare occurrence, & I had no idea Nick had the spiritual Power to do this, even with his Guardian Angel. But Angels do have great Power.

Understanding Purgatory, you know why these guys are sitting there doing nothing. They are helpless. They cannot gain merit, they can only wait for their cleansing to end. Most souls sit there forgotten & forlorn. These don’t seem to be suffering like some precincts or spots in Purgatory would be, but they have no joy. Their prayers for themselves have no effect, it’s too late. Gaining merit happens only on earth.

And this crowd of people were all about the world, people & drugs. They were not religious or spiritual; they probably did not pray much, if ever. Why were they saved? I don’t know, but they must have done something for God to show mercy.

I asked Nick why he took me here, & he said,

“So you would help them.”

“Did I?”

He says yes.

Now why did I do the splits, rise in the air & take off many layers of ugly clothing? Some of which were not my clothes, but Nick’s.

You appeared like them at first. But then, you revealed to them your true character, who you are – a Light of God come to bring them relief.

Their clothes all being ugly like what they wore on earth are the layers of sin & obscurity that prevent them from seeing God.

The male in the green hat was impressed. It seems he has a jealous girl friend. She must have died of an overdose also.

Why did Nick become a precious kitten I was kissing, & why did he & his Angel leave?

You loved him like a child as well as a man – your spiritual son, your pet. They left because they weren’t needed there, they did what they had to do & their mission was over. You did the rest.

The Mystical Sex Dream

Why did Nick appear as a man of religion on some kind of mission, a counselor?

It was a great mission for him, to take you to Purgatory to help his friends. So here he exerted himself fully to do this, it was probably the most important thing he’d ever done.

What was going on – on my porch?

I need to think about that – don’t get the symbols yet, except the pillows. They represent sex for you & Nick. Two pillows, two heads.

Why did Nick say what he said, that I probably expect sex now & his skin showed alopecia? It was on his bare chest.

His skin looks like a map. Maybe he’s saying

“This is where we are on the map. It’s your birthday so I always provided love to you at that time, we even met for your birthday. It’s significant. I am giving you Souls in Purgatory, who, & I’m also giving you myself, the man you loved so much. You were praying & telling the Saints your birthday is coming up & one of the things you wanted most was to help Souls in Purgatory. You did not dream I could provide some for you. And you have not had sex with anyone since we were last together – four years ago, so you deserve this happiness.”

Me: Why did you want me to initiate the sex, like ask for it, not in so many words, but by kissing your arm?

“To show you I was always insecure, & here I’m a submissive to you, your underling, & you the dominant person. You pick me up by your spiritual strength & lay me down. Me on my back is subordinate position. I saw you as a Mother as well as a woman, you know that.

God gave me to you as a gift. Because you obeyed God when you didn’t want to, when She told you to

“Go out & have fun”

And all this happened, & look at the good results. None of us listened to you when you were alive & speaking to us. We all kept taking the drugs, & we all died. But you reached us after death. And I’m a part of your ministry now, just as your great Gurus have been, the great Saints. I feel very good about this.”

What was the food I was eating, which looked like the finger foods Hindus eat during Feasts, like wedding Feasts? And they are super expensive.

I think it’s the spiritual delight/nourishment you are getting from this experience, so delicious you feel guilty, but it came at a great price of suffering. Which sufferings? Could be what you went through with Nick, trying to get him off drugs & into proper living & acting right with you – which never happened. The stress gave you heart attacks.

St. Charbel cures cancer! The Next Day dream a husband brings me food 7-19-23

I now have SEVEN spiritual husbands attached to my soul & more than one of them has appeared as my good husband Richard. And unless there is some other sign I don’t know which husband is appearing!

The husbands are: Our Lord Jesus Christ {gave me rings on Jan. 1978}, Bhagawan Nityananda-the Apostle of Bliss {gave me a sparkling silver wedding dress}, my earthly lover of eleven years–Nicholas Anthony Van Dunk {gave me a white dress & veil after he died…on the second date we had in 2014, he told me ‘I want to marry you}, miracle workers Sri Kaleshwar, Sri Shirdi Sai Baba, a living Protestant minister who I shall not name & St. Charbel. The latter ones appeared in dreams as my husbands, as if we were mated automatically! The newest Guru-husbands are appearing lately, St. Charbel seems eager to relate to me, it might be him.

This night had a dream. I was speaking to a female who recently had a miracle occur due to my prayers. Her daughter’s Dad had cancer in his mouth. She asked me to pray June 3, 2023—It’s in writing –I received 15 prayer requests in writing. His doctor confirmed he was cancer free on June 24.

Now I am talking to this female about an important man – I am in show business in this dream, trying to make it, meeting people who will help. And this one man has a great position & I’ve been dealing with him favorably.

So this young, beautiful lady friend of mine – appearing as the female who asked for the cancer cure – is speaking to me & I tell her about this man,

“He can help you do whatever you wish for – get you jobs, put you in movies, anything you want – he can do it.”

I see her standing next to him looking lovely & her breasts for some strange reason are pushed up out of her dress. They’re not big but cute.

I then change into a sexy outfit, the kind I don’t wear any more, skintight pink pants & a low-cut flowery pink top. I have a tiny waist, & the top flares out below the waist in ruffles.

I am now at my house & a bus stops in the front. I go to see. The door has opened & I climb into the bus standing by the driver. My husband has brought me a large cardboard box full of food! I see a round loaf of bakery bread. I sense it has a cross engraved on top. I know there are other things there, but I just see the bread. How kind of him!

Meaning: I believe this says that St. Charbel facilitated the cure! He’s been quite active appearing to me, & here he is again. The food obviously is spiritual gifts, spiritual nourishment. The bread is ‘the bread of life,’ or Holy Eucharist – Charbel was a Priest.

Why am I saying I’m in show business & this man – who is really the Saint – is an important man who can do anything to help someone get ahead, put them in movies, etc.?

It’s just a way of underscoring that St. Charbel is very Powerful in Heaven, he can do anything, & you recommend him to this young lady, she’s with him, her breasts are showing means she has love – & the Saint answers her request, your prayer.

You being dressed provocatively means you appear spiritually beautiful & he is bringing you spiritual gifts.

Earlier, about a week ago, he appeared to me like so:

I met a young, handsome male who was very nice to me, helped me put my groceries into my car. We had a short chat. When we parted I thought, maybe I could ask God if he could be my boyfriend? I thought about it & pondered, would it be God’s will or not? The only answer I got was that I am free to do as I like. But that night my husband Richard appeared to me & it was St. Charbel. He said to me,

“I gave you $10,000 & if you ask for this & start an affair with this man you will be using me & I will leave you.”

When I woke up I told St. Charbel,

“I will not ask God for him. I’d rather have you than him.”

And he said then he would not leave me.

The 10k represents something spiritual he gave me – could be the cure of this man’s cancer.

The Next Day Nick {7-19-23} appeared to me as he was – 6’3”

to me being much shorter, very masculine embraced me with the most intense love I ever felt from him. He is completely transformed spiritually from how he was – he can express True Love instead of beating around the bush. In the last years of our affair he denied, to my face, that I was the main woman he loved, & kept saying he loved ‘everyone’ which is a bunch of crap. But on his Face Books & rap songs he would express the truth & spoke about ‘the woman I love the most that I haven’t seen for a year.’

College of God & Love, Core Tenets

Great Gifts from God

Great Gifts from God

Wish me Happy Birthday guys, today I turned 78…..God has blessed me. I went to Annie’s to get my once a week hamburger with onion, tomato, lettuce & pickle. {Stomach shrank so much could only eat half!} Saw Chris & there’s been a big healing of cancer! She told me her daughter’s Dad had cancer of the mouth. I prayed. And a short time later he was checked by his doctor & the cancer is GONE. GOD IS GOOD!

Also Friday was Saint Kateri Tekakwitha’s holiday. I urge friends to pray to the Saint on their holiday; because that’s the day they’re most likely to grant your request. So in view of that, I had great faith she would answer me. There is a lady I gave a whole household of goods to – 5 & a half carloads of necessary items as their house burned down. These were some of the BEST things I owned – nothing decrepit. This lady is the receptionist at my chiropractors & I was going there every week for months. And – she is named Teki after the Saint! {She’s part American Indian}. I said to Saint Kateri,

“In view of the charity I gave to your namesake, please grant me a favor due to it being your Holiday. I will leave it up to you what the gift would be.”

As I slept that night I appeared in the bed of a dying man. He had a light blue covering over his head made of material that looks like those masks they handed out free at all the medical facilities. I sensed this man was dying. I saw light outlining his body, yellow, then blue. Then his arm fell off the bed as he died. And I saw a white thick blanket covering both of us – it was shining like white light.

I believe this was a Mantle of Light given him by Saint Kateri through me {Saints work like that, they use us on earth to help their client in Purgatory or on their way there. I think the action delivered him from having to go to Purgatory – he must have been saintly – & he ascended straight to Heaven. This was a great privilege for me to be a part of.

The head covering was to show me he died of something to do with his head – maybe an accident or an operation. God is good.

Then this past night I was shown that I have an extended ‘apartment’ with one of my Guru-husbands. A neighbor wanted to see it & I took her & her mother {her Mother is her God Self} through it, room to room. It was more extended than I realized, there were rooms we had not yet used. I knew this ‘husband’ of mine had a house elsewhere, & I also had my own house besides this, but this was an apt we shared. The rooms were not luxurious but charming & cozy & had lots of sleeping spaces. What did this mean?

It has something to do with an ‘office’ or place of work, a spiritual location this Guru & I share, where we reach Souls together. It could be we pull them up out of Purgatory into this place, then they ascend. I can only guess which Guru or Saint this is – God did not show me who. But this revelation was one of my birthday gifts, to be sure.

I just realized who the Saint is – St. Charbel. Why? Because my new Gurus, Sri Kaleshwar & Sri Shirdi Sai Baba already lifted 130 Souls recently with me, & I kept reminding St. Charbel that he can do likewise, so I think he wants me to see he’s planning it! The visitors might be the beginning of clients. Showing them a preview. Like saying “We will get you up to Heaven soon, through this spiritual place.”

College of God & Love, Core Tenets

How God Got Me Through Uncertainties

God Does a ‘Life Review’ Explaining how She Graced Me

I drove out to my property by the river & decided to see if there’s still a pond in the middle of my wilderness. The Beavers moved out about ten years ago, but there was a tiny pond last time I was there with a model & photographed him. It was only about 15 feet in diameter & not deep. This was maybe 2016. If there was still a pond there, it would be easier for me to walk there & recreate, as I could get within 300’ of it with my car, whereas the other pond I have to walk maybe a thousand feet to get there & the pain in my legs, hips & back is daunting. Also have to struggle with the 5’ tall grass that go about 100’ in front.

I parked on my ‘golf course’ facing the river {just a beautiful lawn, no golfing} – it was beautifully mowed by my neighbor who has a cottage there. He thankfully takes care of the private road & gate. Found the old path through huge bushes {some 15’ tall but large branches jutting out from the very base}, it’s impenetrable unless you crawl through, but there are two places one can manage & I had brought my branch loppers & a plastic stool to sit & rest on.

Each time I sat & rested I prayed & summoned my Gurus as well as Angels. Going through about 20’ feet of 5’ tall saw grass was not easy, I had to stop & rest within it. Then about 100’ of medium tall saw tooth grasses, where again I had to rest. It was here that I had a surprising answer from God.

I laid out to God my bitter worries & fears, which I had explained to my friends before. It’s about not having the beneficiaries or people to continue my work & receive my resources. It’s been consuming my mind & distracting me from the prayers.

And so my last statement was who will build my Order? The Temple, Convent & New Religion?

And God appeared to my mind in telepathy. She said – & this surprised me:

“You will build the Order.

You imagine yourself dropping dead any moment, & you want to get everything ready. But not so fast. Get that thought out of your mind. You’re not thinking right.

I will give you more money than you ever dreamed of. I will do it by my supernatural Power, just as I have taken care of you all your life. You do NOT have to go on bended knee seeking producers or directors or agents for your life story. I will intervene, I will do it by my Power, not your work. You’ve done enough work writing it.

You don’t need many years to start the Order, it can be done in five years.

You don’t have to have perfect health or physical ability to do this work. You will advertise & get helpers. And after it starts, you will get volunteers. You can’t figure out how it’ll be done. It will evolve, it will flow, it will be shown piece by piece when the time comes.

Most of what you will do will be internet. I can’t explain it all to you now, it has to evolve.

Let’s do a Life Review of how I have saved & graced you throughout your career.

Remember when you wanted to quit your dancing as it wasn’t giving you security? For a while you were as unsure & worried as you are now. But I took care of you.

I put into your hands the business of making glamour & fetish videos. It started small, just selling your pictures, & grew bigger & bigger.

You amassed a fortune within ten years, you made a million dollars & each year gave 10% to charity. With this business you proved yourself & have the magnificent property you have now.

{I was looking at the trees surrounding the huge field where my pond was, so beautiful. The hill to the left of the pond area is covered with trees 33 years old. It was a corn field, but I let it go to forest. The variety of the trees makes it scenic. There are some pines, Oak, Elm, willow, Birch, & many whose names I don’t know. It’s this variety that contrasts with the older forest past it in front of me & to the right, more beautiful than those. And beyond my property you can see a mountain, which is not mine, but adds to the décor tremendously. God gave me this through the business.}

Then the next step. You had taken the vow of celibacy. I had in mind for you a partner who would tolerate this & eventually become your husband without demanding sex. It was Richard Von Werder. I also gave you a best friend who you call Saint Esquire – they both helped you in many way. They made up for the unfairness of people in your past – your family & first husband, who denied you any kind of help, in fact, hurt you badly in all ways. These two men made up for all that. But if you had not been celibate, this would not have happened, you would not have given Richard a chance, you would be busy with other men, who were not worthy of you, who would continue to use you & give you nothing.

You did very well with your business for ten years, but when the internet appeared, it diminished. It was time for change. You had resisted marrying Richard for 16 years, but stayed best friends. You had to prove yourself, you did. And because you were dragging your heels on this, I tricked you into marrying him. I knew what was going to happen, that Richard didn’t have long to live & you would be left destitute as the business had now diminished, you were living on savings which were depleted.

As I said, you did not anticipate marrying Richard or him dying & leaving you a fortune as well as a good pension, but I had it planned out for your security & well being. Remember, it was my Grace that gave you the business & Richard. You figured out nothing, it happened because of me, your God.

Now once again, you are at a Crossroads. And you are troubled by what will happen & how. Looking back, as I reminded you, I had all things figured out, things you cannot understand. In the way I created your business & relationship with Richard, I will also do this. Your job is not to look at your problems or have doubts & fears, your job is to look at Me, God Almighty, with Faith, Hope, Trust & Confidence. You are a mere mortal, I have all the Power & I will use it to help you. That is all you have to know. The more you relate to me & think of Me, not your doubts & fears, the easier it will be for you.”

With God having said this, I trudged on, marveling at the beauty surrounding me.

The next trek was short grass; also saw tooth edges, about 100’. I counted my steps – could only go about 40 steps when I’d have to sit down, rest & pray for at least 5 minutes. What peace, what luxury, to own this property with perfect silence except for birds, a couple bullfrogs, the soft wind, the warm sun bathing me.

Finally got to the spot where the tiny pond was – no pond. Just the creek that runs through my entire property, coming out of a mountain, starting really rocky in my lower yard, ending up here & now a muddy creek, just maybe 5’ across in some places, a foot in others, only maybe 3” inches water & then mud. I didn’t dare step into it as I had to soon trek back, didn’t want to be covered in thick mud I couldn’t get off me. When it rains for days I imagine this creek gets full like it used to & water falls over a bank. The beavers had made it deep up to my chest in some areas. Why they left I don’t know, but one youngster moved into my other pond, where I anticipate going soon. It’ll be an ordeal, but I will manage.

At another pit stop God reminded me

“I don’t want you to work promoting your life story, trying to get someone to produce it. Let them come to you. They will push you around, humiliate you if you go on bended knee to them. I don’t want you suffering any more. You’ve had enough of that. Trust me on this.”

OK I trekked back. Did not hit the spot where my path was, was way off, ending at an impenetrable spot. But there were ripe black berries, I ate about 50 of them, then found my spot & what a relief to get back to the car! It took me a full hour to walk through this field, a full hour to walk back, counting my rest spots, for just 300’ or so of space!

But God spoke to me & the beauty was magnificent, it was worth it & I’m proud of myself.

Another thing God said to me telepathically:

“You cannot figure out how to build this Church & typing your brain into knots how to do it. Leave it to me. Didn’t I lead & guide you at the times you didn’t know how to do something? Did I not lead you step by step?

Like finding your house. You prayed for six months every day before you even ventured out, with Richard driving, to find a house. I instructed you what to look for – where to go. I told you to keep driving until you found a place with at least 15 acres – no less – that you could afford. You started looking in Woodstock, which is near the city, & it was too expensive. The Real Estate people told you not to go past Sullivan County, as they thought it was too low class.

But I encouraged you with the idea of getting more land. And on only the second time you ventured out, a listing was put into your hands. You were not going to go the next time, but I showed you the listing, a certain house, & I told you,

‘I have a house for one of my deserving poor. Go! You will be rich.’

You called the realtor – said you were interested but it said the house was with a few acres, but you wanted more land. The realtor said you could have it with 50 acres – he had divided it to sell in three parts, but you could have it all.

And when you went it was the most perfect paradise you ever dreamed of! And 25 years later, they found there was gas & oil under your property, the Marcellus Shale, & if you had listened to the realtors you would not have got it, but you listened to me!

Then, when you started your website, I had been whispering the name to you for over a year,’

‘Woman, Thou Art God’,

but you did not know what this title was for nor how to build your website, Church on the internet. You tried this idea, that idea, finally it came to rest, it is the University of Mother God Church & you would prove what you believe in through research.

It made a sensation & many people in the world saw it & were impressed. It got a million hits a year the first few years.

In 2004, few people were writing about Matriarchy or Female Supremacy, but this site started a trend, then many people got interested in these themes & created websites, blogs & Face Books about the subjects. You tube had almost nothing about Matriarchy, & after you, many videos were made. At that time you had about 250 videos there, mostly Matriarchy, Female Empowerment, – that was 2008. And many followed your lead.

And now you are querulous, how to build this Church. You are BAFFLED. So recall the items I just said, how I led you step by step. When you put your foot to the path, one step will lead to another & another, & soon, you will have a project that resembles a Church. You’ve created many parts, it will fall together. It won’t take as long as you think. By the time you die, it will all be together, logically & righteously. You’ll have the doctrine, theology, ideas, all put into one place, cohesive, integrated.

Keep your eyes on Me, not your fears & confusion. Just keep thinking of God & by my Grace, you will win. I have the answers, let me work. You just listen & obey.”

More thoughts from God on the subject:

“If you could figure out how to build a business from nothing – with the help of my Grace, & earn a million dollars in ten years – a difficult business you had never done before, you can figure how to build a Church.

Never in your life had you produced videos from original scripts, you did not know how to operate a video camera, video machines, lighting – make copies. You did original things, learned new stuff that seemed impossible at first, but you learned it. You figured out domination & fetishes, what domination was, how to do it, where to advertise, how to build up a mail-order list. Other women tried it – you knew them. They made no money, but the money you made was a miracle. Yes, you did a miracle listening to God.

And so it will be with the Church. You will start working on it & it will blossom as you go along. Stop worrying. The people you need to carry on after you die will come to you.”

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