God Does a ‘Life Review’ Explaining how She Graced Me
I drove out to my property by the river & decided to see if there’s still a pond in the middle of my wilderness. The Beavers moved out about ten years ago, but there was a tiny pond last time I was there with a model & photographed him. It was only about 15 feet in diameter & not deep. This was maybe 2016. If there was still a pond there, it would be easier for me to walk there & recreate, as I could get within 300’ of it with my car, whereas the other pond I have to walk maybe a thousand feet to get there & the pain in my legs, hips & back is daunting. Also have to struggle with the 5’ tall grass that go about 100’ in front.
I parked on my ‘golf course’ facing the river {just a beautiful lawn, no golfing} – it was beautifully mowed by my neighbor who has a cottage there. He thankfully takes care of the private road & gate. Found the old path through huge bushes {some 15’ tall but large branches jutting out from the very base}, it’s impenetrable unless you crawl through, but there are two places one can manage & I had brought my branch loppers & a plastic stool to sit & rest on.
Each time I sat & rested I prayed & summoned my Gurus as well as Angels. Going through about 20’ feet of 5’ tall saw grass was not easy, I had to stop & rest within it. Then about 100’ of medium tall saw tooth grasses, where again I had to rest. It was here that I had a surprising answer from God.
I laid out to God my bitter worries & fears, which I had explained to my friends before. It’s about not having the beneficiaries or people to continue my work & receive my resources. It’s been consuming my mind & distracting me from the prayers.
And so my last statement was who will build my Order? The Temple, Convent & New Religion?
And God appeared to my mind in telepathy. She said – & this surprised me:
“You will build the Order.
You imagine yourself dropping dead any moment, & you want to get everything ready. But not so fast. Get that thought out of your mind. You’re not thinking right.
I will give you more money than you ever dreamed of. I will do it by my supernatural Power, just as I have taken care of you all your life. You do NOT have to go on bended knee seeking producers or directors or agents for your life story. I will intervene, I will do it by my Power, not your work. You’ve done enough work writing it.
You don’t need many years to start the Order, it can be done in five years.
You don’t have to have perfect health or physical ability to do this work. You will advertise & get helpers. And after it starts, you will get volunteers. You can’t figure out how it’ll be done. It will evolve, it will flow, it will be shown piece by piece when the time comes.
Most of what you will do will be internet. I can’t explain it all to you now, it has to evolve.
Let’s do a Life Review of how I have saved & graced you throughout your career.
Remember when you wanted to quit your dancing as it wasn’t giving you security? For a while you were as unsure & worried as you are now. But I took care of you.
I put into your hands the business of making glamour & fetish videos. It started small, just selling your pictures, & grew bigger & bigger.
You amassed a fortune within ten years, you made a million dollars & each year gave 10% to charity. With this business you proved yourself & have the magnificent property you have now.
{I was looking at the trees surrounding the huge field where my pond was, so beautiful. The hill to the left of the pond area is covered with trees 33 years old. It was a corn field, but I let it go to forest. The variety of the trees makes it scenic. There are some pines, Oak, Elm, willow, Birch, & many whose names I don’t know. It’s this variety that contrasts with the older forest past it in front of me & to the right, more beautiful than those. And beyond my property you can see a mountain, which is not mine, but adds to the décor tremendously. God gave me this through the business.}
Then the next step. You had taken the vow of celibacy. I had in mind for you a partner who would tolerate this & eventually become your husband without demanding sex. It was Richard Von Werder. I also gave you a best friend who you call Saint Esquire – they both helped you in many way. They made up for the unfairness of people in your past – your family & first husband, who denied you any kind of help, in fact, hurt you badly in all ways. These two men made up for all that. But if you had not been celibate, this would not have happened, you would not have given Richard a chance, you would be busy with other men, who were not worthy of you, who would continue to use you & give you nothing.
You did very well with your business for ten years, but when the internet appeared, it diminished. It was time for change. You had resisted marrying Richard for 16 years, but stayed best friends. You had to prove yourself, you did. And because you were dragging your heels on this, I tricked you into marrying him. I knew what was going to happen, that Richard didn’t have long to live & you would be left destitute as the business had now diminished, you were living on savings which were depleted.
As I said, you did not anticipate marrying Richard or him dying & leaving you a fortune as well as a good pension, but I had it planned out for your security & well being. Remember, it was my Grace that gave you the business & Richard. You figured out nothing, it happened because of me, your God.
Now once again, you are at a Crossroads. And you are troubled by what will happen & how. Looking back, as I reminded you, I had all things figured out, things you cannot understand. In the way I created your business & relationship with Richard, I will also do this. Your job is not to look at your problems or have doubts & fears, your job is to look at Me, God Almighty, with Faith, Hope, Trust & Confidence. You are a mere mortal, I have all the Power & I will use it to help you. That is all you have to know. The more you relate to me & think of Me, not your doubts & fears, the easier it will be for you.”
With God having said this, I trudged on, marveling at the beauty surrounding me.
The next trek was short grass; also saw tooth edges, about 100’. I counted my steps – could only go about 40 steps when I’d have to sit down, rest & pray for at least 5 minutes. What peace, what luxury, to own this property with perfect silence except for birds, a couple bullfrogs, the soft wind, the warm sun bathing me.
Finally got to the spot where the tiny pond was – no pond. Just the creek that runs through my entire property, coming out of a mountain, starting really rocky in my lower yard, ending up here & now a muddy creek, just maybe 5’ across in some places, a foot in others, only maybe 3” inches water & then mud. I didn’t dare step into it as I had to soon trek back, didn’t want to be covered in thick mud I couldn’t get off me. When it rains for days I imagine this creek gets full like it used to & water falls over a bank. The beavers had made it deep up to my chest in some areas. Why they left I don’t know, but one youngster moved into my other pond, where I anticipate going soon. It’ll be an ordeal, but I will manage.
At another pit stop God reminded me
“I don’t want you to work promoting your life story, trying to get someone to produce it. Let them come to you. They will push you around, humiliate you if you go on bended knee to them. I don’t want you suffering any more. You’ve had enough of that. Trust me on this.”
OK I trekked back. Did not hit the spot where my path was, was way off, ending at an impenetrable spot. But there were ripe black berries, I ate about 50 of them, then found my spot & what a relief to get back to the car! It took me a full hour to walk through this field, a full hour to walk back, counting my rest spots, for just 300’ or so of space!
But God spoke to me & the beauty was magnificent, it was worth it & I’m proud of myself.
Another thing God said to me telepathically:
“You cannot figure out how to build this Church & typing your brain into knots how to do it. Leave it to me. Didn’t I lead & guide you at the times you didn’t know how to do something? Did I not lead you step by step?
Like finding your house. You prayed for six months every day before you even ventured out, with Richard driving, to find a house. I instructed you what to look for – where to go. I told you to keep driving until you found a place with at least 15 acres – no less – that you could afford. You started looking in Woodstock, which is near the city, & it was too expensive. The Real Estate people told you not to go past Sullivan County, as they thought it was too low class.
But I encouraged you with the idea of getting more land. And on only the second time you ventured out, a listing was put into your hands. You were not going to go the next time, but I showed you the listing, a certain house, & I told you,
‘I have a house for one of my deserving poor. Go! You will be rich.’
You called the realtor – said you were interested but it said the house was with a few acres, but you wanted more land. The realtor said you could have it with 50 acres – he had divided it to sell in three parts, but you could have it all.
And when you went it was the most perfect paradise you ever dreamed of! And 25 years later, they found there was gas & oil under your property, the Marcellus Shale, & if you had listened to the realtors you would not have got it, but you listened to me!
Then, when you started your website, I had been whispering the name to you for over a year,’
‘Woman, Thou Art God’,
but you did not know what this title was for nor how to build your website, Church on the internet. You tried this idea, that idea, finally it came to rest, it is the University of Mother God Church & you would prove what you believe in through research.
It made a sensation & many people in the world saw it & were impressed. It got a million hits a year the first few years.
In 2004, few people were writing about Matriarchy or Female Supremacy, but this site started a trend, then many people got interested in these themes & created websites, blogs & Face Books about the subjects. You tube had almost nothing about Matriarchy, & after you, many videos were made. At that time you had about 250 videos there, mostly Matriarchy, Female Empowerment, – that was 2008. And many followed your lead.
And now you are querulous, how to build this Church. You are BAFFLED. So recall the items I just said, how I led you step by step. When you put your foot to the path, one step will lead to another & another, & soon, you will have a project that resembles a Church. You’ve created many parts, it will fall together. It won’t take as long as you think. By the time you die, it will all be together, logically & righteously. You’ll have the doctrine, theology, ideas, all put into one place, cohesive, integrated.
Keep your eyes on Me, not your fears & confusion. Just keep thinking of God & by my Grace, you will win. I have the answers, let me work. You just listen & obey.”
