College of the Gender War, Core Tenets

the Gender Conflict

The Gender War – We are Leaders – How do we Defeat Patriarchs? 12-5-23

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From William Bond:

We have to think how we can sell the concept of matriarchy in a way that appeals to all people. It should in theory appeal to women but I think they are afraid of matriarchy. I know feminists do fear a backlash against women if they go too far and I suppose they think that the concept of women ruling the world will cause a backlash. This is probably why the women at Matriarchal Studies try to claim that matriarchy is only about equality. 

So I think women would love to rule the world, but they think if they try to do this, men will get upset and use violence against women to assert control over women once again. Which suggests to me that women do think that equality with men is as much as they can achieve and if they attempt to go further than this, it will end up in disaster. So for this reason we cannot just sell matriarchy to only women, we have to sell matriarchy to both men and women because women will have more confidence in matriarchy if they are supported by men. 

Matriarchy can appeal to men because Patriarchy doesn’t benefit the majority of men. We have had many men who have wrote about the insanity of warfare and that we live in a very unequal world. So I think we can sell matriarchy as a solution to both warfare and inequality. That is providing that female leaders are willing to act and behave like women and not try to behave like men as we see with many modern female politicians.  william

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From Rasa Von Werder:

William, We cannot DESCEND to their level when we are the main ones telling the TRUTH, the truth, & nothing but the truth.  It isn’t about lowering ourselves, our standards, our beliefs.  If the Lighthouse dims its Light because some people are blinded by it, what will the boats steer to?

No, we are the light on the shore.  We are the fire on the mountain top, the way St. Patrick signaled his new POV, challenging the Chieftains {in case you didn’t know, they used fires to signal events, holidays, the right to rule – many things.  They were signals.} Being AFRAID & giving in to the lower thoughts is not the answer.  This IS a WAR. – A WAR OF IDEAS.  Will we allow them to win?

Shyt, if we fold up, we are the Commander in Chief, the Generals, what will the lower officers & privates do?  No one to lead them!

We are the LEADERS!  One of the characteristics of a leader is COURAGE.  This courage galvanizes the fearful, inspires them to move forward against an enemy that can hurt or kill.  Sometimes the leaders are so Charismatic  they will inspire the troops to attack against all odds.  {Not talking about hypnosis the tyrants use, talking about courage.}  Look at Napoleon & Alexander the Great.  I’m not condoning or excusing their crimes, just talking about how they spurred on people.

Recently you spoke abut positive thinking, that one must BELIEVE in order to succeed.  What has happened to your FAITH?  Have you LOST IT?

We fight not against the physical, but against spiritual entities in high places {St. Paul’s very famous idea.}  We fight with SPIRITUAL WEAPONS.  He explains, the Helmet of Salvation, the Sword of the Spirit, the feet shod in Peace, the Girdle of Righteousness & the SHIELD OF FAITH.

OK, so if we, the leaders, decide to compromise? This article I just saw, indicates today’s Churches are confused about the Gospel of Christ – which means preaching the Cross, Poverty, do unto others, love others as yourself – all of that.  Today’s world DOESN’T LIKE IT they say!  so let’s give them FOOD – MUSIC & most of all PROSPERITY PREACING, preach being positive will bring results such as MONEY.  Preach if you love God, God will give you MONEY!  BLESSINGS ARE MONEY!  A fine house, car, good mate, healthy children, preach all that will come to you if you love God – then they will COME TO CHURCH!

But this gospel is the Gospel of Satan!  He said,  ‘I will give you all the kingdoms of the world & their glory if you will bow down & worship me!”
And you are suggesting compromise of our ideas, the very ideas that have built our foundation – which for you is ‘men have done a terrible job of ruling our world, they are not suitable to lead, step aside & let women take their place. etc.’

For me, it’s ‘Women are superior to men by nature – God made them that way.  Men cannot, should not rule the family or world as they destroy what they control; it is not natural for them to lead. etc.”

On the side of Christianity as I said, the Cross is what Jesus taught, & Poverty is the Cross.  The FOCUS on Prosperity is the Gospel of Satan.  As far as Matriarchy, Matriarchy is NOT equality of women with men.  We cannot preach this as then we become IRRELEVANT.  We dismiss our cause, our unique foundation & agenda.  We then stand for nothing; we simply disappear among the out-dated feminists.  Feminists will be like the Wright Brothers 200 years from now, people will know they had to start somewhere, so there they started.  And what they fought for was not equality with men – I’m sure many believed in superiority – they preached for equality UNDER THE LAW – a big difference-the right to vote, to get jobs, etc.  You never cite that difference.

    So let’s get back to the teaching of St. Paul.  What do we fight with?  Truth, righteousness & the truth is what we three have been saying all along from the beginning & we cannot deviate from it or else we sink into the mire of where all the other don’t-knows are.  Those who hunger for the truth – who will they then follow? – The femdom world?  I just had a man write me today talking about a femdom ‘Goddess’ who wants to start a Gynarchy community. He calls her Viola Voltairine. Curious to see if this had any validity, I looked her up & saw this:

“And through Ms. Lane, I’ve met Goddess Viola Voltairine. A slave owner of two men, seeking to create her own harem of male servants. She also revels in female sexual sadistry. A self-proclaimed vampire, she cuts and feeds on her favorite boy Drum’s blood regularly.”

OK this is a crock of shyt.  It’s an invention to MAKE MONEY from submissives. We understand this; we know it’s not REAL in creating Matriarchy.  It is not part of our agenda, POV or religion; this is a sideline for those who want/need to use the adult trade to make money.

OK then is this who they follow if we disappear by preaching a lower truth? 

You speak of FEAR – women’s fear.  They fear more than VIOLENCE.  They fear the lack of support from men.  Support is paramount.  If a woman has children, working & taking care of them is extremely difficult – she needs help.  Even ordinary life is more tolerable with the help of a partner.

Your letter, now that I reread it, is so sissy-ish it makes me want to vomit.

If this is WAR – & it is – it’s like saying let’s back up a step. Give the enemy more room, more freedom, let him have what he wants to some degree. We can’t afford to have him hurt us or kill us, let’s give in.

Some leader you are!

Instead of what you say we must have FAITH that God WILL PREVAIL & Matriarchy will happen as God intended, just let us do what we can, no compromise.

You said:  “This is probably why the women at Matriarchal Studies try to claim that matriarchy is only about equality.”

          The reason these women say what they say & pretend what they pretend is because academia is still under the power of patriarchy.  They are not allowed to teach/preach, female superiority which is the rule in Matriarchy.  If they do they will be discredited & maybe lose their jobs – their work trashed or discredited the way they tried with Marija Gimbutas.

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From William:

Rasa, when I wrote about men supporting women. I didn’t mean that men take any leadership position. Men can support women as bodyguards and as workers for the matriarchal cause. In many ways men can be more aware of what a terrible job men do of ruling the world, than women. Too many women are willing to make excuses for men’s behavior. I don’t see matriarchy v patriarchy as a women v men fight. Many women support patriarchy and I’m sure many men will support matriarchy.    William

 

From Rasa: William,

    All I can think of in answer is in Africa there are communities of women that broke off from men.  They supported themselves; they found a way, some, by selling jewelry they created to tourists.  I’m not sure exactly what they did in all these sisterhoods, but they not only survived they thrived compared to what they had before, & did not suffer the mistreatment & oppression previously.  The men were seething with rage & jealousy – their communities without women went downhill, they become impoverished & lacked all the benefits of female slavery.  For a while they attacked & interfered with the women but eventually slowed down on that, it was no use.

    In time, males were allowed to return but only in subordinate positions, to do menial work.  Not many men – just a few.

    We definitely see this issue from two similar but different positions.  Mine is more extreme pro women.  You want the men to be involved in everything it seems.  I don’t.  I don’t trust their presence at all.  They want to get their foot in the door & after they do they take more & more away from women.  Their ultimate aim once again, is to control us, & it’s like the demons getting in – we know their agenda. 

    My POV comes from experience.  I’ve lived with men starting out ever-so kind, nice, supportive, with flattery, gifts, favors – whatever they can do to get in {false front being shown}.  And then after a while, they take more & more good away & bring more & more evil into the picture.  This happened with most, not all my relationships.  The exceptions were as I described in my life story, ‘St. Esquire’ & Richard Von Werder, my second husband.  But I can’t think of any other supportive & loving relationships men gave me, it always ended up bad.  And when I say bad I mean horrid – Because they are not SINCERE in their ‘love’ – it’s human desire.

 

    And besides that, they DON’T CARE ABOUT CHILDREN in general.  There are exceptions, George Muller & Rev Spurgeon & a few others.  But these are rare.  Why did we have legions of children IN THE STREETS in the 1800’s?  Charles Dickens writes about the work houses & orphanages.  These orphans were seen as VERMIN by the regular folk, as they had to beg & steal to survive. They were dirty, ignorant, sometimes ill & had no charm or manners to win folks to their favor.  Why all these kids in the street, for lack of WHAT?

    For lack of MATRIARCHY.  Men want to follow THEIR NATURE – taking care of children is not part of it.  So they obey their glands & when women get pregnant, they can whistle Dixie for support – he got his kicks – good bye Cecilia.  Women are reduced to beggars– there is no safety net for men’s actions, what can a pregnant woman or one with babies do for support in those days?

    You care too much about the side of men, who do not deserve your concerns.  Granted there are some good ones, but only a minority.  I’m thinking in general terms.  You’re seeing this PERSONALLY like your own good self helping women.  Think of all those who don’t give a shyt.

The Patriarchal system is designed for men to get all the privileges & women few options, keeping them in slavery. This is changing for the better but you’re slow to see women’s plight. You’re looking at men with rose colored glasses – across the board THEY ARE THE ENEMY & we are sleeping with him.       

        In spite of all your teachings, you are a man so you are on the side of men – To some degree, to a degree that makes me uncomfortable.  

No matter what I say, you CAN’T see my POV.  You can’t perceive why women would want to have a place to GET AWAY from men entirely, to have a SAFE SPACE where men aren’t welcome.  Consider the MEN’S CLUBS in England & elsewhere, where the man could get away from wife & family, be LEFT ALONE, eat, sleep, gamble – not sure what else was provided.  In some places, just sit, read or chat.  But they were left alone without interference from women.

Women want the same thing – I certainly do.  I have not had a REAL girl friend since High School.  No one I can rely on or trust. Because once women reach a certain age & status in society, they are considered PROPERTY OF MEN.  Single women are not allowed into married people’s company.  You can’t understand all of this, there is so much you DO NOT UNDERSTAND re the plight of women & their needs.    Rasa

 

Pete Jackson says:

Good evening, Rasa and William.  Oy vey, there’s a lot to unpack here.  I am admittedly a bit out of my depth so I don’t think I really have much of substance to add here.  But here goes anyway:

I will note that there is a difference between compromising one’s *strategy* versus compromising one’s *principles*.  The former may be permissible, while the latter is not.  And it’s a very fine line indeed.

About faith, I am the first to admit that mine is not always nearly as strong as it should be.  I can even be a Doubting Thomas at times.  It’s kinda human nature, I guess.  And I reflexively tend to approach the issues from a more secular and social perspective by default. 

And of course, William and I are men, and thus we will unfortunately always be at least a little a bit biased towards the male POV, even if unconsciously.  It’s in our DNA.  Like William, I personally tend to prefer more integration over gender separatism for the most part.  Though I think there is something to say for both perspectives IMHO.  And especially with me, please take what I say with at least a grain of salt, if not a whole pound.

We may not always agree on everything, but at least we all agree on the very basics overall.

Beyond that, I don’t think I have much else to add here.     Best wishes,    Pete

Rasa says:

OK thanks Pete.  What this to me has brought out is that there is a conflict between the view of William & myself which will never change.  So to quell my frustration I just have to accept it, not let it bother me.  It will be impossible for us to convince the other, we just have to let it go.  And why he can’t understand what I am saying is beyond me.  I DID NOT say women & men have to be separate at all times in all ways, all of them.  I said women NEED a PLACE/PLACES were they can be separate.  Is that not a difference?

Patriarchs are not separate from women AT ALL TIMES, in all ways, in all places.  But they have places to go to be separate. Muslims have their Temples.  Italians & other nationalities have ‘men’s clubs,’ they are all over the place. They also have Shriners, Freemasons & the like.  Even my little town has one. I’ve seen so many movies where men speak of & go to ‘their club’.  The club is a men’s hotel – they can sleep there if they wish.  Where is the equivalent of this for women?

But for women, it’s even more necessary because they not only need separate space to go to for themselves, the space must also receive their CHILDREN.  This is BEYOND battered women’s shelters.  That is what my NEW ORDER will address & I hope, provide.

William & yourself don’t dwell upon such things as you never had to.  I had to.  I had a child & I was alone.  No family, nothing.  I could have used a safe space that provided amenities for her & me apart from our own residence.  A ‘hotel’ or ‘women’s club’ where you could safely leave your child/children where they would be  provided for by women, while you work shop or do something else.  Women need this DESPERATELY.      Rasa

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Paul described the spiritual battle in his letter to the Corinthians

“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war
  according to the flesh.  For the weapons of our
  warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for
  pulling down strongholds,  casting down arguments
  and every high thing that exalts itself against
  the knowledge of God, bringing every thought
  into captivity to the obedience of Christ,” – Paul (2 Cor 10:3-5)

As we are fighting a spiritual war, the weapons we use are not physical weapons. Our mission objective is not to take prisoners or to conquer cities. Our true target is to capture the hearts of the people, to lead them to Christ, to teach them to obey him.

But sometimes, no matter how much effort we put in our preaching, we often find it difficult to reach to our friends. No matter how hard we try, we fail to capture their hearts.

As the result many churches come up with many methods to preach the gospel. But often we do not receive the result that we want.  It looks as if we are attacking a stronghold that will we can never overcome.

Perhaps we rely too much on our own wisdom and strategies and we fail to utilize the spiritual weapons of the apostles. 

The Power Of God And Its Role In Spiritual Warfare

When Paul encountered a similar problem, how did he overcome it? 

Often we are unsure how to win the hearts of people. The modern church advocate that that traditional services can no longer attract people.  They feel that old stories can never move new people. So they plan countless ways to reach out and move people. 

As we see this, sometimes we wonder, “Shall I continue to talk about Jesus and the cross?” “Should we find another way?”  That is how most Christians approach their spiritual battle. 

 

College of the Gender War, Core Tenets

Body Building Talk

11-4-23    BodyBuilding Contest

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Several dreams, don’t know if they’re ‘important’ or not until I analyze them.  Will start with a later dream as right now can’t recall the earlier ones.  They will come back.  I have sacrificed watching You tube – anything – for the time being in favor of having an uncluttered mind for my work.  Later I will see if non-people videos like Robert E. Fuller’s animal work, will badly effect on my mind – I suspect not.  It’s the people videos, including the educational ones, which bring back numerous MEMORIES of earthly life, & thoughts & feelings, which dissipate & clutter my mind & heart.  What is RELEVANT here as far as my mind is what is ON my mind is what I send my strength into.  If I am focused on the world, there goes my energy.  If I’m focused on Souls in Purgatory – more likely they can receive the God given Grace I send.

This dream might answer my prayer before sleep:  “Let me know if it’s more important for me to body build tomorrow or do the juicing {I have been retarded in both.}

There’s this body building contest, & only 3 women compete.  The first is a riot.  She’s a tiny female, not much body to her. She comes out in a bikini made of flowers.  She takes off the flowers, underneath is a mini dress made of flowers.  She takes off the mini dress & some sort of other costume is there.  This happens again & again, each outfit made of flowers & leaves, at least 4 times.  It’s a phenomenon.  Everyone applauds.

But I’m IRRITATED & say,

“Is this a contest for SEWING or body building?’

The second female is tall & thin & very muscular & has short black hair, which frames her face in sort of feathers close to her skin.  The man who’s announcing the contest says they saw her making ugly faces & she makes some sort of extremely witty & telling statement, which gets a big applause.  Possibly by this statement, I think she will win the show.  I notice her abdomen very flat & muscular – she does not look super manly as the woman of pro bb do today, she’s moderate.

I don’t see the act of the third female.  When I wake up I really want to body build to look great, so I think that answers my question.

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MEANING:  I suspect the 2nd female is myself & how do I win the arena of female body building?  Not by anything except by WHAT I SAY!

My championing females being EQUAL to men in the sport given an equal chance instead of being used as a side show of bimbos or almost cheesecake – At the time I first entered in 1972 that’s how we were seen.  We got no money & no serious recognition.   The males were looked at as IMPORTANT.  We were the SIDE SHOW – they the main attraction.

Later, after the idea of female muscularity got better accepted, one female made a bicep muscle & was told never to do that again!

I got the idea into Esquire & Playboy & national TV shows before the first fitness contest was held – 1979 – & after that first body building contest – Miss Olympia, 1980 – I was in it.

ME:  Speaking of body building, Mother, you told me a short time ago that Arnold would be laughed at from my point of view explaining how he promoted Lisa Lyon in order to get even with me for cuckolding him.  And he failed.  That people will know this.  And they no longer worship him because he had an affair with their maid & had a child with her – right now he’s treating them as wife & family.  He bought her a nice house & has posed for numerous photos with her & even when the son was little – this part I think he’s good, he didn’t throw her to the curb after using her.  {But he did throw Maria that way.} 

Most people judged him for this event & his image fell down in the public favor. Americans are hysterical when it comes to sex.  And then they kind of chuckle at Arnold & no longer think he’s the greatest thing since sliced bread.

But how will people know & believe he used Lisa as revenge against me rather than that he really liked or loved her?

MG:  It is precisely because they no longer see him as a God, but a fallen hero, that they will believe you & in doing so, they need fuel for the fire to laugh.  Your account of how he failed, the biggest man in body building, super rich & powerful, working with another man also the most influential, & yet, the two of them could not succeed in stealing your thunder, making her the one & only beginning of female body building & burying you in the process.  They wrote the history of female bb on Wikipedia & on purpose excluded you, {people are not that dumb, why exclude you?  There’s a MOTIVE} you mentioned it, & it will be noted.  People will find this humorous – haha, Arnold failed, what a fool.  Why didn’t he just suck it up & let it go?  So Kellie liked another guy, so what?  Not the first time this sort of thing happened, let it go, pardner, you’re showing your negative side.  If you just let it go you would not have failed & now looking back, you look like a dope.  People eventually got onto Arnold, that he only did things as a means to an end, used people, climbed the social & political ladder.  He was not a loving/loyal/faithful type guy.  He was a prankster, & his partner Joe Weider was a fraud – convicted of false advertising & had to pay big bucks in fines, the movie created to glorify him, ‘Bigger’ the whole thing is an apologia that he was NOT gay, because he was! This movie is a joke & so by Arnold being his close friend doesn’t add to Arnold’s glory.

ME:  And the female with the multiple costumes, flowers & leaves? I know it sounds like juicing, but could it also be Lisa Lyon & all her posing as a model, in various roles?

MG:  It could be her but see, the dream says she didn’t win, although at first it looked like she might. 

There was no third contender for FIRST female body builder, it was either her or you, that’s why you don’t see the third.  Many females came after but they were not the first. And although in the beginning it looked like she got more attention & respect because of Arnold & Weirder, she fell out of the public eye but you continued, told your story, & she went into the woodwork while your position was verified.  After all, you told the truth & you gave the dates.  It could not be disputed.

PS:  Again, re Lisa looks like she could win but did not.  Notice I explain right at first, that she is TINY & has no ‘body’ or ‘shape’ or muscles.  It’s just her COSTUMES that get the applause.

In the context of this dream, what are the costumes?  They are a COVERING or a FRONT.  It was her PUBLICITY, making her seem victorious {leaves} & given accolades {flowers for the performer.} But underneath there isn’t ANYTHING like she’s short, tiny, no shape or muscles!  In other words, it was just chimera, nothing substantial, to her, just a FRONT.  Had she been GREAT as an instrument of God or sent by God to establish female body building, more would have happened.

I had another female who tried to take ‘my place’ as the top activist Matriarch.  She stole my disciple & got him to do all kinds of work, trying to build herself a Matriarchal identity by which she could MAKE MONEY. All that she did failed.  Why?  No Anointing.  No God empowerment.

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College of the Gender War, Core Tenets

Alx Uttermann-Great Interview

Report of Rasa re Sri Kaleshwar – Alx Utterman & her video

 letter to Alx Utterman:

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Comment: I have been praying to him {Sri Kaleshwar} daily & he started appearing right away with another man – I did not know who the other man was at first, but then realized it was Sai Shirdi Baba, who always appears with him! They are partners. And they chose me as their partner also & one night, the three of us got a large number of Souls out of Purgatory – their clients, not mine. They also graced me with Sacred Holy Food which was new to me – Shirdi Sai Baba served it to me, while Sri Kaleshwar was pouring something on my head – which I did not understand until I saw the images of him pouring water on the head of Sai Baba! They are with me daily. A friend sent me VIBHUTI of Sai Baba which I kiss every morning {within an envelope.} I am wondering, is there any way I can get one grain of the burnt up Sacred Ash you got from Sri Kaleshwar from his miracle of Christmas 1999? I would like to have you, Alx Utterman, as a spiritual relationship. I will join your center. I am sincere, interested in God & her Glory, not the things of the world. God is All. 

Below is Rasa Von Werder, NOT Alx, in 2015

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         Letter to Alx Utterman:

         Can I get one grain of the ash from the miracle of Christmas 1999? Or touch a piece of paper to the ash & send it to me. I would like to be spiritual friends with Alx Utterman. My work for God: Building a Matriarchal Center for women & their children which includes a New Religion that is appropriate for Matriarchy {Includes Christian & Eastern principles – includes Wicca & worship of Mother Nature} – with our own Temple, {off limits to men} – Convent {no sexual repression, they are free to have children} – Community of women outside the convent, some married, some not – Full education in our Community including the Arts & Entertainment classes – etc. A full spectrum living with Culture, Lifestyle of the Highest Standards, etc………I will write it all down & hope to facilitate it before I die, but if not, will leave my legacy, work & resources including money & property, to the Center. {50 wonderful Paradise acres with house, 3 acre yard, wilderness, 5 acre island, riverfront, swamps, creeks, pine glades.} Let me hear from you & your GREAT GOALS FOR GOD & MATRIARCHY! PS Expecting a movie of my life, ‘I Strip for God’ will bring millions for our Order.

                 Note: It’s been a few days since sending the letter & she’s not yet answered 

9-5-23

               Dream:   Sri Kaleshwar & Sirdi Sai Baba appear to me & saw both at more or less the same time:

                 “God wants sex.”

                 “God wants to have sex with you” – Not sure if that was “We want to have sex with you” – as they are Gods.”

                 I know they mean MYSTICAL or SPIRITUAL SEX & that is the essence of sex on earth, it is mystical union AT BEST.

                 At the same time they showed me a huge Shiva Lingam, about 2 feet long, & something else I don’t know – was it the Sacred Yoni? Yes, it’s a whole religion. Is it the worship of Shiva?

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See this video:  This is the best I have seen so far on the subject of Womb Chakra & Feminine Divine, other subjects like sexuality, Jesus sex life, etc.:

 

  “THE MAGDALENE UNVEILED”

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXAqU7KAFi4

 

The Speaker is Alx Uttermann – Disciple of Sri Kaleshwar & exponent of his teachings

 

the following are many COMMENTS on the video stated:

BlueStarRising said re the discussion of Jesus being married:

         Whether the Magdalene and Yeshua married or not is wholly irrelevant to the Mystery of the Bridal Chamber. It is not earthly marriage, but the male and female aspects of God and of the inner

and the outer that must be reunited in us. St. John of the Cross wrote on this cosmic union, “Oh night that guided me, Oh, night more lovely than the dawn, Oh, night that joined Beloved with lover, Lover transformed in the Beloved.” —Rosamonde Ikshvàku Miller


@alxuttermann1009

I would respectfully contest this statement — on the grounds that to each of us, human beings all, carrying the exact same Christ Consciousness within, need to know that one can lead a ‘normal life’ and simultaneously reach the highest level of consciousness one can carry in a human form. If we suggest that the human life and marriage of Jesus and Mother Magdalene is purely symbolic or esoteric, and not simply human, that again creates more of the illusion of separation between each of us and the Christ inside. Another wall of a belief system to have to break down as we ascend in spiritual awareness and capability. This life is difficult enough, as spiritual characters-in-the-making, without adding more walls of dogma and belief that limit our capacity, is my strong opinion and experience.

 

Rasa Von Werder’s {Rasa on You tube is Kellie Everts} answer: 

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 @alxuttermann1009  Very well said & I am glad you have the courage to say things other women won’t. Indeed, it is IMPORTANT for us to dispel the Patriarchal teaching which has DEGRADED sex in order to DISEMPOWER WOMEN because women are the citadel of sex. Understand it is the MEN who are dependent on women FOR SEX, they PAID for it from time immemorial {the first profession, lol} not the other way around. In order to disempower, disable women from having this advantage over them, the Patriarchs assaulted the sex act, causing it to be TABOO, SINFUL, DIRTY, LOWLIFE, & because sex was so evil, it had to be CONTROLLED by the male Institution/Religion through Sacramental marriage. No other act of sex is considered legitimate or righteous in Patriarchy – Catholics even laughingly persuade us that masturbation is a MORTAL SIN {deserving of Hell!} And while we women are slut shamed & stoned to death for sex – the males in the past raped & whored with impunity. {What does that tell you? What I just said.}……..Now Mr. BlueStar wants to make a point – that sex can be sacred. Indeed, I do agree. The Sacredness is there when the people conducting it are of God…..Oh yes, one more thing. The first ‘brothels’ were Temples to the Goddess, when sex was recognized as Sacred. In particular, the Sacred Harlots, which included Constantine’s Mom as a young lady – Helen – the Priestesses made TANTRIC SEX available to men FOR A DONATION. It was known that females were SPIRITUALLY SUPERIOR TO MEN & males, by physical sex with the female, while prolonging their orgasm, would receive more & more spiritual energy from them – eventually – after many years – attaining Enlightenment. This POWER women had over males the Patriarchy wanted to eliminate & destroy it they did. Now women in the adult trade are treated as garbage disposals for sperm – all because of a small portion of demonic males who sought to rule the world & so they did. But this age of Kali is ending & Matriarchy is on the cusp.

 

@KellieEverts–conductsNightTra

When Alx tries to explain Ramakrishna she gets so embarrassed she finally gives up & changes the subject. She couldn’t bring herself to say he was a homosexual. It proves you can be an Avatar & homosexual at the same time, lol.

 

These two comments were not removed, but sent way down the line where few people would see them – I suspect a covert way of making them invisible –

 

@KellieEverts–conductsNightTra

Ramakrishna: How could he want sex with his wife Sarada when he was a homosexual, madly in love with Vivekananda? When V did not visit a while Rama was ripping his hair out with anxiety, & when V appeared, he touched him & put him into a deep trance {so he wouldn’t go away?} V was annoyed with all this & said if it continued he would not return. Then when Rama was dying his homo disciples made a human wall around him, forbidding any females to enter & say good bye. One female did get through by dressing as a male. She was an actress, & she was the only female that got to pay her last respects. Why would the disciples do this except for contempt & hate of females?

 

@KellieEverts–conductsNightTra {Rasa Von Werder}

Alx says: “SEX IS NOT A SIN” Re Our Lord, ‘being like all men except for sin’. Indeed, I have said this so many times – always alone. Finally someone concurs. I explain that the restrictions on sex were created by Patriarchs in order to CONTROL WOMEN – Proof is the DOUBLE STANDARD. The woman caught in adultery. Where was the man? Their law stated both need to be stoned to death, but he is not there. {Jesus saves the day.} My associate Ajax the Great & I agree, sexual freedom for women is the KILL SWITCH FOR PATRIARCHY. When women do whatever they want sexually & no longer fear men, men will have nothing to fight for. Consider a ram with his harem. The harem runs off & mates with the other guys in the woods. No more head banging, lol. We will end war by being sexually free.

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Rasa says:

There are many great insights presented here by Alx Utterman. One must listen to this with an open, eager mind & digest it all. Take time to study her remarks, they are deep. I am impressed by her statements on sexuality & accept them as true. “Kaleshwar said Jesus was married to & had a child or children with Magdalene” {I’m fine with that} “Jesus had children with other women besides Magdalene – women threw themselves at him, saying ‘Bless my Flower,’ “Jesus was happy to oblige” adds Alx. {Lol, fine with me, the more Jesus’s the better! You mean Jesus was human? Why not? I am human, I’ve seen God Face to Face twice, I was celibate 30 years for God but God told me ‘Quit the celibacy, go out & have fun!’ That proves SEX IS NOT A SIN}………Sri Kaleshwar was married & had a child, his wife was sitting right there while they were speaking–Alx was there. That’s fine but I am perturbed as to WHY DID HE LIE TO THE PRESS & SAID HE WOULD NEVER MARRY? The interview is right on You tube. Playing that dayum ‘forever celibate, great saints never have sex or think about it’ bullcrap. Sri Kalesh, you did all the miracles to prove yourself. Now do the miracle of standing up to Patriarchy’s bull shyt & admit to sex!

 

Rasa:

Re Peter the Apostle: Alx, Ven. Fulton J. Sheen agreed with you. I have his audio from 45 years ago. He said the reason Our Lord called Peter ‘the Rock’ is this: We had a kid in school who was a runt & a wimp, the smallest, weakest in the class, & we called him ‘Hercules.’ And you mention Peter’s unstable ways & Jesus more or less says, “On this ROCK I will build my Church?’ I firmly {like a rock} believe that Jesus wanted Magdalene to be the head of his Church because of all the Apostles, Anne Catherine Emmerich says SHE WAS THE MOST SPIRITUALLY EVOLVED – a great Contemplative. But we live in an evil Patriarchy. They rule by ‘might makes right.’ So of course they ousted the women {Alx said so-would like to see the source} from leadership & took over, & wrote the women out of history. The canonical gospels sound like part of them was written by Peter himself – as he is the STAR. It’s that ole’ gender war. They won but now they are losing, & when the cork is no longer held down, women rise up {analogy made by William Bond.}

 

Rasa:

Mary Magdalene’s appearance 1:53:00: I believe the visions of Anne Catherine Emmerich–I have all her books – day by day accounts of Jesus & other events in the bible. A literary figure named Clemens Brentano sat by her bedside {she was bedridden with Divine Stigmata} & wrote down every word of her visions: She said – St Magdalene was the child of a ROMAN PRINCE & a Jewess. Magdalene was SO BEAUTIFUL that her mother put her, as a child or young lady, in a window of their home which faced the street, so passers by could admire her. She was the MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN OF HER TIME, more beautiful than the Holy Virgin she says. In my imagination I see the level of Merle Oberon {Mother Hindu, dad Englishman}, Gene Tierney or Hedy Lamarr {Jewish – when she first appeared on the screen in Algiers, the audience GASPED at her beauty.} From sitting in this window being admired, she developed the sins of pride & vanity – she was never a prostitute {who are sacred sex therapists} as the Catholics later wanted us to believe, to degrade her status. Se owned the city of Magdala with her brother Lazarus & she subsequently gave Our Lord a lot of money for the ministry. They persuaded her to go see Jesus preach – she wasn’t interested – but finally she allowed them to carry her there on a palanquin………….Eventually she was madly in love with Jesus, repented her pride & vanity, & during the Passion of Our Lord, she fell apart, while Holy Mary remained serene. Obviously, her love was human as well as Divine, as we go crazy in our flesh when we are in love.

 

Rasa:

About the Mary Magdalene chanellers or facilitators, who make their career/living off her persona, & a producer was trying to make a documentary on such women. But each one he approached told him she’d be glad to do a documentary, but it would have to be ONLY ABOUT HER & HER VERSION! This goes to prove how women are their own worst enemy. They are trained by Patriarchy to reject sisterhood {because it is POWERFUL!} & work alone, which is a weak position. Men dominate by the brotherhood, albeit it’s a wicked one. The slave mentality is one works to secure status, respect & security through the ‘Massah,’ but does not join with ‘other slaves’ for an uprising. This is ego mentality, all for me, not for them, & it is doomed to failure. And that is why the Matriarchy, which begs for sisterhood, has been slow to rise up, but still, it is rising, albeit slowly. Of all the men & women who gravitated to me while I was on Face book – thousands – only two remain helping the cause, & they are men. When I left Face book, a convenient forum, I still reached out to my women disciples but they were no longer zealous, since I was ‘gone.’ But two men remained steadfast.

 ???????????????????????????????

BlueStar you mentioned seeing a woman lifting the Eucharist, how moving it was. A female who has female disciples she’s teaching to be Priests. You can see me raising the Holy Eucharist every day & I have an account of why on my site ‘Woman, Thou art God’ inside the ‘How to Build a Church in Your Home,’……I explain how I was working {1981} to bring women into the Catholic Priesthood, calling every convent in New York, but the women shot me down until I got discouraged. Then I asked Jesus, ‘Maybe I am wrong. Do you want women in the priesthood?’ The next day I went to the Cathedral for 8:00am Mass. I was the only one there. A new Priest walks in to celebrate, younger than the others. Time for Communion, I am kneeling, waiting, he doesn’t come. I look up – he beckons me to come forward, then BEHIND THE ALTAR. I walk over there slowly, he gives me the Body, then the Blood of Jesus from his own Chalice. I walked out slowly, in a trance. When I emerge into the light outside, I suddenly realize, this was Our Lord & He called me behind the altar!

Rasa:

Durga turning to Kali is a prediction of the extinction of human men. See the myth of her slaying & removing Maharashtri, which represents Patriarchy. I have written of this untold times. She had the solution before we even knew it; the myth was from ancient days.

Rasa:

Indeed. Can we be human & rise to the highest level? Here’s the formula: At times one sequesters themselves all alone, abstracts themselves from this world & reaches up to God. Buddha did this, Moses, Jesus, all the hermits, many Saints. Some remained celibate by choice, but they DID NOT HAVE TO. God told me that. I could have achieved Self Realization without being celibate, but I didn’t know it, so I practiced celibacy. Now there comes a time when the isolation, abstraction, HAS DONE ITS WORK. If we were to be that way ALL THE TIME we might as well have stayed in Heaven & not been born. But there comes a time when we are allowed, or it’s Kosher so to speak, to be human again, to do human things & have human desires – surprise, surprise. We have been brainwashed by some religions that to be a saint one must be a forever virgin or forever celibate but this is NOT TRUE! It’s simply something taught by certain men for a reason. One reason is to keep women virginally pure & sexually inactive. Another reason might be lack of insight or understanding into Mystical Theology. Ask me, lol, I know.

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College of the Gender War, Core Tenets

He writes Myths like they were Facts

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Answer to video Sacred Sex on You tube

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Glorian: Practical Spirituality to Awaken Consciousness and Liberate it from the Causes of Suffering 

I suggested they check Dr. Bryan Sykes for biological facts re male & female – they removed my comments fast

  The female body building champion in this article is Christa Lou Cormick, daughter of Ozay Rinpoche in Great Britain

 

Our history is far more incredible than modern science or religion suspect. Rather than being the descendants of apes or of two divinely created people (and the incest of their children), we are the outcome of a very long and slow spiral cycle — evolution and devolution — whose pattern includes the rise and fall of civilizations faintly remembered in myths and scriptures. Most importantly, in that history we learn the truth about the origin of our suffering, and how it is related to sex.”

 

Rasa’s answers to the video:

All fetuses are FIRST FEMALE. Look at the biology, not myths for that. When the fetus is the size of grapefruit seed, they stop being ‘reproductive’ as females & begin to turn into males, which are NOT REPRODUCTIVE. The sperm of a male is a ‘parasite’ according to scientists & can only present the male DNA to the female to reproduce.

 

the woman’s clitoris is NOT an ‘atrophied penis’! The penis is an enlarged clitoris. Remember, the female form was first. She might have been a hermaphrodite, but reproduction is in the female, not the male. You are presenting this in the male-supremacy model, a biased male view; obviously we have a Patriarch here. For the facts look to the world’s top geneticist, Dr. Bryan Sykes of Oxford, & his book “Adam’s Curse – a Future Without Men” – human men are going EXTINCT. So much for your version of male as the superior sex! Their y chromosome is crumbing & cannot repair itself. Woman has two X, male only one. When his y crumbles completely in about 100k years, there will be NO MORE HUMAN MALES. Women can reproduce without males in more than one way. See Dr. Sykes.

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Where do you get this information? It is theories, ideas, not facts. You give no origin for your studies. I agree that way long ago the humans were all females/hermaphrodites perhaps. And eventually they created two genders. But I do not pretend these are facts, they are ideas & theories. How do you explain that we share 98% of our genes with apes? Bonobos & Chimpanzees. Yes I believe in myths but you are misinterpreting myths according to male bias. The science of today is PROOF of female superiority, her having two X chromosomes, male an XY, the Y a broken down X that cannot repair itself. And I do agree that in ancient days of Matriarchy, sex was sacred. It was conducted in Temples with the Sacred Harlots, men gave them money. The first ‘brothels’ according the Patriarchy. The Patriarchs degraded sex to become taboo, dirty, unclean subject to control BY MEN, in order to control women. But originally in Tantric sex the FEMALES gave Light & Enlightenment to men through sex, being that women were in all ways superior to men, spiritually included. As men conducted sex with the Sacred Women, withholding their orgasm as taught by women, they eventually gained Enlightenment.

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The degradation of our society occurred through Patriarchy – the rule of men. When this rogue segment of males – a third according to the Myth of Lucifer – took over the world, it was the rule of Satan. Satan is the Prince of this world, he works through men. Women were responsible for males becoming rogue by mating with the most masculine males over the centuries, when eventually, a third of them became so masculine with all its drawbacks {lack of empathy, insensitive, no maternal instinct, born to protect & kill, don’t know how to love but to use & exploit} that they TURNED AGAINST WOMEN & GOD AS A MOTHER & said ‘I will not serve.’ They then attacked, murdered & intimidated women to do their bidding, which is the OPPOSITE of the design of God. We live in an upside down world where the ‘lunatics are running the asylum.’ Males who should be obeying women are obeying their ID {see Freud} which is the lowest nature, the primitive instinct. This instinct is how we describe demons: no redeeming value, cannot be saved. With this instinct they rule the world, they steal, kill & destroy, – check the Old Testament, a crazy tribe that says God told them to do this & that, while the 10 Commandments are only for their own people. They think they are ‘chosen’ – lol – for what, by whom? Then they say God told them to attack communities & steal all their resources, rape their girl children. This is NOT GOD. They invented God in their own image & likeness. Then they imagine God told them to do what they wanted to do, so they are exonerated & sinless – everyone else is sinful & perverted, but not they. Meanwhile they have dozens of wives & hundreds of children, like Gideon. Take the Old Testament with a block of salt.

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The Christian myth of Lucifer & the Hindu myth of Maharashtri with Durga/Kali explains the emergence of Patriarchy, it’s identity, its evil, & finally, its removal through male extinction. See Dr. Bryan Sykes on the extinction of human men. He said they are a ‘genetic experiment that did not work, therefore nature is taking them out.’ He & Dr. Ashley Montagu both said the human male is a parasite on the body of the female.

 

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College of the Gender War, Core Tenets

Why are Women Leaving?

 

 

People Leaving the Catholic Church – Especially Women

1cc19d35b9f44b39c4be70f78fea8d70 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbEZ-gqWgng&t=1857s

 

These three qualified & brilliant men discuss why so many people leaving the Catholic Church? I give my answer

 

Our new group where you can join & post!

 https://www.facebook.com/groups/901909581115283

 

OK I have thought about it & have so many reasons figured out why people are leaving the Catholic Church. You make it seem like those who leave the CC are leaving all the good that it offers. This may not be so. The basic answer I got after praying was NO TAXATION WTHOUT REPRESENTATION. It’s what the CC has done to women. It excludes women from all types of leadership, but it USES women as volunteers, almsgivers, servants, slaves & BREEDERS. It is the women who are most supportive of religions, women are more spiritual than men, they go to Church more, they give more in every way. Yet they are not REPRESENTED in any form of leadership, their voices & needs are not met. They are TOLD WHAT TO DO as if the men know better than us what we should or should not do. The CC is a Patriarchal stronghold or rather was, & it is diminishing for the way it looks upon women. It will continue to shrink because women will not put up with it, not breed for them, not donate time & money – as the CC no longer represents us. Why we remained in it so long was the women’s movement had not yet begun. Scientific proof of female superiority occurred only recently. And the last straw toward men, the straw that broke the camel’s back, is human men are going extinct. See “Adam’s Curse – a Future Without Men” by top world geneticist Dr. Bryan Sykes…..

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The men here on this show are the best of men & superbly qualified for God’s work. They have golden hearts & brilliant minds. The CC will use them to try to keep its foothold on earth, but it will not be enough. These new good Priests have sacrificed themselves, especially in the vow of celibacy, & they will be rewarded by God. They are bent on saving the Catholic Church. But women have moved on – we are a different breed than those brainwashed in past days to live under the authority of men. We will take all the good the CC has to offer, which Jesus & Mary gave us, the Saints, the Sacraments, the Holy Spirit – take all this with us as we move on & leave the CC. That is the big answer. We are not leaving God, merely a Patriarchal Institution which does not serve or represent women.

 

          Guys you are selling a product, so to speak, the benefits & services of the Catholic Church. Yes those are great. However, you are missing the point. These services & benefits are not what women are rejecting. Women love these & they will not want to lose them. But you are presenting these Gifts at a price – they come with the MALE AGENDA. We have to be less than you, lower than you, when we are part of the CC. All of us you believe are INFERIOR to men. You do not believe God called women to the Priesthood. Wasn’t Holy Mary the first & foremost PRIEST when She gave us the BODY & BLOOD OF JESUS?

Look at the way you conducted this presentation. You hardly ever speak of women or their role, or their importance. You act like WOMEN ARE IRRELEVANT. This is a boy’s club, a religion of men, women are servants. The nuns have no authority; they bow & scrape before Priests like nurses bow & scrape before doctors. Nurses must obey doctors, nuns must obey Priests. And the bad Priests were obeyed by wicked nuns, as in the Magdalene Laundries. Nuns obey & cover for bad Priests, they are afraid of them & the Church, being kicked out. But you do not even address the subject of how the CC treats women, like it doesn’t matter, it’s all good. It’s not good. Women are leaving. As I said, they will take the good part of the CC with them & start new religions. I have started my own Order. We will write our own rules. God is inside us. Jesus is alive within me, so is Mary. Their Spirits & Anointings are within the good women. And so, what we are leaving is the authority of men, we feel this is not necessary to our relationship with God. We can relate to God without men telling us what to do.

OK BIG picture & little picture. First, the entire world.

In the last century & beginning of this century things have happened to fatally injure the Patriarchy – it CANNOT CONTINUE as it has for two reasons.

First, it has been discovered that females are biologically, constitutionally & mentally superior to males, by virtue of their two X chromosomes with males have only one X & an inferior Y – & also brain scans which prove that the male can use only about half of his brain at a time, while women use the entire brain. {This is due to the corpus collasum having thousands of nerve connections in female, very few in male.} Secondly Dr. Daniel Amen discovered that in men, the frontal lobes are ASLEEP but the back or primitive part of the brain is awake, but in women, the entire brain is awake. The frontal lobes constitute the civilized part of ourselves, including our spiritual abilities.

Even prior to these scientific facts being discovered, the women’s movement began with Emmeline Pankhurst of England in the 20th century, Elizabeth Cady Stanton & the Americans following up, then the second wave of the movement in the sixties with Betty Friedan.

And so now you have women rising up & proof of female superiority – scientific proof that cannot be disputed, & the world will never be the same again. Even though the males are suppressing this knowledge, it’s leaking out as people like Ashley Montagu in 1953 promoted “The Natural Superiority of Women” while William Bond & Rasa Von Werder have been writing on the emergence of Matriarchy & Female Empowerment for years.

To top it all off & put a lid on the subject, I have mentioned the work of geneticist Dr. Bryan Sykes of OxfordUniversity who has proven human males will be no more in approximately 100k years & it will be a woman-only world. Women have the egg, which is reproductive, while men have a sperm which is not, it carries DNA material to the egg, men cannot reproduce without women but women can reproduce without men. Women will reinstate their parthenogenesis abilities as did Our Holy Virgin Mary – They can also have two female parenting by placing 23 chromosomes of one woman’s egg into another. All female offspring.

In the light of all these facts, male domination of women cannot continue as it isn’t feasible, logical or rational. Their control of women is based on violence, intimidation, unjust laws & lies. But this cannot stand any longer. The males know the truth as well as do the women, the women began to fight back & God is on their side, as Truth is, God is Truth.

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In other words, women are rising up, Matriarchy is coming back & Patriarchy is crumbling.

That’s the BIG picture & the little picture is the Catholic Church is part of the tyrannical, obstinate & exploitative Patriarchy, & it refuses to change. Many other religions have changed – they are ordaining women, even the Jews have female rabbis.

And in view of this, if one refuses to change or adjust as the world changes, one begins to fail. If a business doesn’t change, even huge companies like Kodak, who were once innovators, have shut down. IBM was once big, now shrunken down due to competition. K-Mart was once the main discount store, before that Woolworth’s. K-Mart put Woolworth’s out of business, Walmart put K-Mart out of business. The business world does not stop but new companies take the place of the old.

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And so with religion. Now that women have moved forward they demand leadership positions. If the religions now active don’t provide this, they will eventually create their own religions, as I am doing. I am writing out & planning a new Order which will include all the good things of Catholicism & the good of other disciplines moving toward God.

We do not throw out the baby with the bath water. All we want to be rid of is male tyranny & oppression & dogmatic gunk. To think that males have some kind of monopoly on God is irrational. If anyone should have a authority on religion it should be women, as they are moreso the nurturers & care givers.

My conclusion is that no matter how many good, sincere & faithful men now enter the Priesthood, it’s too late to fix the Catholic Church.

What is the CC trying to do? First, it entertained homosexuals & pedophiles, giving them a cushiony home, environment & nourishment. It protected them when they sinned.

These scholars here are saying it was only 1%. One percent what? Those convicted? Perhaps convicted, but those guilty would be way more – & consider the unreported cases. If it was only 1% perpetrators the Church could have cleaned these guys out. It was way more than that – My guess? Thirty per cent?

And you guys point out that pedophilia exists way more in other cases, such as Dads molesting their own children. Indeed, this is true. However, a Church is to be held to a higher standard – they represent the things of God. The average Dad is not expected to be a Righteous Soul – Priests are.

The homosexual pedophiles were & are Judas’s to the Church. They are demons. They have betrayed her to the core. Can the Church ever recover?

Things were going downhill for the Church due to the women’s movement & the proof of their superiority. And then this. This would make a person think,

“So these are the guys who are making us feel guilty over our sex lives? I’ve had enough. I don’t need this. I’m leaving & taking my children out of there.”

You men emphasize all the good you are offering to the public. Indeed you are, but still, holding on to the tradition of Patriarchy where you rule women, we obey. Why? Why do we have to obey you? Why don’t you obey us?

And the Church is now desperate for survival. It is pulling out all the stops, importing men from India & Africa & somehow finding the most masculine, straight, athletic, female-loving men they can find who are willing to sacrifice. I’m sorry for them because celibacy/chastity is not normal & natural & could be unhealthy, especially for men. This state can only be good when empowered by God’s Grace.

I know a bit about celibacy as I lived it for thirty years. It is incredibly difficult. I worked on it for years before the Holy Virgin appeared to me & requested me to become celibate. She came & gave me the grace & the authority to practice it because I desired it.

But this is not for all people & should not be demanded willy nilly, like you, dear sir, must sacrifice yourself for us, the Church. No, it is between the Soul & God. It might not even be the right thing to do.

In my opinion, all they must do is take off the restrictions on dating & marriage for men, & ordain women with the same. That would solve many problems. But they won’t do that, so the CC will continue to shrink until it becomes a remnant.

Meanwhile, their Churches will go empty & be put up for sale, & people like myself, who want their own Religion that serves women, will buy up the properties & preside – Our own world where men will be ‘Third order,’ having no say so or vote in what we do. Amen.

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College of the Gender War, Core Tenets

Ambition

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The Party that Changed Things

Part 7      4-5-23

 

        Harry Sr was pretty happy. In twenty years of service he’d never been invited to one of the boss’s parties but Mr. Charleymane had scored a big merger & was full of himself, feeling gregarious & invited Harry & Maude. {None of them knew Maude.}

        It was held in his huge dining room – maids & butlers took wraps, waiters in tuxedoes were walking around with champagne on trays, people smartly dressed.

        Harry was in his chauffer’s uniform as he had picked up the boss’s friend & would drive him home. He was standing in front of a partition, leaning on it, relaxing, having a good time with drink in hand hearing a couple matrons in front of him behind huge potted palms, chattering away.

        Suddenly their mood & tone of voice changes, they’re laughing at someone.

        “Oh my God, look at that dress! And the shoes are ghastly! Looks like she robbed a thrift store!”

        one dowager snorted.

        The other one tuned in with,

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        “Oh, her. She came up to me before & asked me what Church I belong to!”

        This needed no further explanation, it was a subject none of their society would broach – it gave her away as ‘not of our class’ & they laughed in low tones, trying not to stare, looking around the room to see if anyone else was looking at what to them was a creature.

        Harry’s wife had just walked in! And she did look out of place wearing her favorite Sunday dress, black with huge pink flowers, chunky thick 2” heels with straps in front, pot belly bulging, her hair no style, hanging thick & soft to the bottom of ears – salt & pepper grey, the glasses were ‘coke bottle’ thick, her eyes distorted in them. She was looking around, smiling, looking for someone to chat with.

        Harry wasn’t listening to the women nor looking, he was day dreaming about some day he’d have a house like this or close & hold a party. He was imagining the beautiful guests in his house, himself the star, when suddenly his ears tweaked.

        “Oh, I think she’s the wife of that chauffer guy. He’s not bad, you’d think he’d find someone better than that. She’s a maid, that’s why she looks this way. Maybe Charleymane needs his bathrooms cleaned.”

They laugh at their clever joke & walk away.

Breathing a sigh of relief they had not seen him, Harry quickly sidles up to Maude & in a feigned panic tells her,

“You’re wanted at the Church, they just called my cell. Some kind of emergency, someone collapsed. Grab a cab, I’ll see you later, I’m on call here.”

{Later when he gets home his wife will ask him what was it about – no one there had called. He says it must have been a prank.}

Now he’s rid of his wife but feels ashamed people saw her & knew who she was. How could he live it down? He never thought his wife was substandard, she looked fine. As the years rolled by her beauty faded, she got heavier, her eyes got worse from reading hours every night, she had to wear those glasses all the time, her hair turned grey, but in his mind she remained the pretty, shapely girl he married – the picture on the mantle was forever her.

He was baffled that people could be so cruel – it brought back PTSD from childhood when Dad was dissed, & he, an innocent boy, had to pay for Dad’s misery.

To his delight, no one ever mentioned his wife, like those two dames were the only ones who saw her – “thank you God” he said.

 

The Second Party

A second opportunity came up for party time & this was a game changer.

Helen was now eighteen years old, drop-dead gorgeous & Harry Jr was twenty.

We told you Helen’s tennis game had got perfected & she was making waves with the jet set.

But Harry made his moves too. At fourteen he worked at the Country Club, being a Caddy mostly & the idea was not to learn golf – which he did & got good at it – but to gain social skills, deportment/attitudes of the rich, speech, what they talked about, how they talked – their vocabulary & dress code. Oh yes, there is a dress code! The clothes have to look expensive & be expensive, & although there isn’t an absolute uniform, most of the Greenwich, Ct. people looked comfortable with Ralph Lauren. His tailored double breasted jackets look dashing.

But at age seventeen Harry joined the National Guard, & he remained connected to this service. {This was part time, he spent his other days no longer a caddy but a receptionist at the club, gaining more & more poise like the snobs, a sort of casual disdainful air.}

A Presidential election was coming up – men were chosen {there were like fifty of these, women as well as men} to guard the President & First Lady at the Inauguration Ball, & Harry was chosen as part of the Inner Guard, which meant he was as close to these celebrities as you can get. {Chosen because he was good with all sorts of martial arts & a perfect shot.}

And that is how Harry hit the front pages. He was so handsome in uniform – just like his Dad when he was young – that as he stood watching for malefactors, the big shots noticed Mrs. First Lady glancing at him.

They asked him if he knew how to dance – of course he did, his Dad made sure of that!

“Mr. President – is it alright for Harry to ask the First Lady for a dance?”

was the next question, & he consented.

So there was Harry. And now Harry is dancing with the First Lady of the United States & it hits all the front pages. She looks so beautiful in her white Cinderella dress, while he, the Patriot looking splendid in uniform, & he can dance! Everyone applauds soundly when they are done, & he kisses her hand adroitly – bowing gracefully & barely touching his lips to it!

That was the famous picture we will talk about in future, hanging on the wall of a certain place that will be notable.

 

Now a year after the Maude-to-party fiasco another deal came up – Mr. Charleymane’s936043_10207085002077932_750453511367029996_n 946465_10207151707705531_8050395083061824065_n 1912145_620502291356206_1149860469_n 1917824_822788381201056_887473030535038682_n 1935367_976737559029029_3659932013915395967_n 1936550_1105280939504083_1020423132111201275_n 1937100_10207056539366382_9124062684586899419_n 10176073_763512990327059_283564684432050133_n 10251986_616949931793990_138114468642280787_n 10291853_458781094316566_2053298701552556762_n 10346227_10153903621687999_5634022041844745712_n 10565264_284653171738552_4294531929584129164_n 10632613_10153890604179322_290967468136494979_n 11221817_974876955902629_8315126028941557654_n

daughter’s engagement party. This time he told Harry to bring his celebrity children. He’d heard of Helen’s tennis & Harry Jr hobnobbing with Presidents & their wives, lol.

And now the scene is set. The usual suspects, all in beautiful attire, champagne flowing, small talk. The average age person there is fifty, conservative people, not sexy or glamorous but stylish, the men grey haired, the women matronly –NOT overweight, & wearing diamonds.

Suddenly the room is hushed. In the doorway the most beautiful couple has entered. She’s six feet tall in her 4” heels, a svelte dark knitted magenta dress flows down her perfect figure, the face like an angel, dark brown hair framing it softly, her eyebrows arched, her makeup toned down movie star quality, a three-tier pearl choker adorns her neck. Her legs are thin & straight yet shapely – Dietrich legs. She carries a tiny dark beaded purse in her hand.

The male is just as striking. Six foot three, white double breasted Ralph Lauren jacket, white shirt & sky blue silk tie, black pants, soft dark hair, those softly arched eyebrows framing the grey-green eyes. His hand in one pants pocket as he looks around for people he knows.

Folks are asking who are they?

And someone says,

“Oh, it’s that tennis champ Helen & her brother Harry, the one who danced with the First Lady.”

Hearing that, one young man breathes a sigh of relief – her brother, not her boyfriend or husband! He plays tennis too – it’s Mr. Charleymane’s son, Ralph. He’s twenty five.

He bounces over to Harry & Helen introducing himself to both {not polite to speak to the lady first when she’s with a male!} & they’re impressed – He’s the son of their Dad’s boss, & not a bad looker, Helen thinks. He’s 6’2” dark blonde hair, hazel eyes, beautifully dressed.

When the young friends see the ice is broken & Mr. Big Shot is hob knobbing with them, they glide over & a party starts. Everyone chats about tennis & Harry’s escapade & what he does as a body guard.

On this night, Ralph & Helen begin their friendship. He asks her for a game, right on their own turf. She agrees & beats him. He’s a bit flustered because he’s good but takes it well as he’s falling in love with her & she seems to like his attention.

He then devises a plan, that on any Saturday Helen is available, he’ll get the tennis playing friends to challenge her. And after the game they will go out to dinner, & there it starts.

He challenges the friends, saying no one can beat her. I’ve mentioned this before. The guys start out with confidence, the females not as confident but willing to test their game & maybe get famous for winning. But no such luck. Each player eats crow, & Ralph is getting more & more puffed up as the lady he now loves is unbeaten & the most beautiful of them all. Wow, Ralph feels like a King.

And Harry Sr sees the writing on the wall. And it spells success. Wealth & prestige are coming closer.

 

From the forthcoming Novel by Rasa Von Werder, ‘Church of Women’ copyrighted 2023, all rights reserved

 

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College of the Gender War, Core Tenets

Charities of the Rich & Helen’s Tennis

 Part 6 Harry Hareston

The Charities of the Rich Women & Helen’s Tennis   

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          Now as I said, Helen, the sister of Harry, was becoming quite a tennis player. In the future some interesting things would happen to her personally & with her game. But let me begin by describing some ventures that Helen will figure in later, the women of charities among the super rich.

          Not all rich people are vain, shallow & greedy, there are some with hearts of gold, there are those who vacillate between being good & bad. Let me begin by an overview.

          The people Harry Sr wanted to be a part of were not just well off, they had super abundance. Their homes were at lowest, two million dollars each up to 150 million! These were estates, American palaces, the royalty of our land. Some of the most impressive were Greenwich, Ct, right there where Harry lived & worked & saw the beauty/ luxury around him. People with several acre plots, right on the ocean, tennis courts, indoor & outdoor swimming pools, homes with six to ten bedrooms & even more baths, gardeners tending sculpted hedges & magnificent laws, flowers everywhere, a paradise. Harry had a goal in mind. He didn’t think he could strike the highest notes ever, but he aimed for a house, some day, that cost over one million bucks. Mind you, in the sixties a million bucks was a million bucks! Then he’d feel he’d ‘made it’ He’d be happy & people would show respect. Of course, the cars had to go with it – the most expensive ones on the market, albeit used.

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          As I said, some of these people were good souls. Not all – indeed there are even more shallow, materialistic folks from the rich than from the poor. But let me begin with a good one.

          Maria Sandy Montbalm had married a tycoon. She belonged to that group of women who every year had a huge bash for charity – many families went all out for this, hundreds attended & good works were done. Maria was one of the ten females most active.

Her endeavor was a soup kitchen that she opened up in Bridgeport, Ct. She rented a hall there with a big room, kitchen, a couple rooms to the side & good bathrooms. All year, every day, meals were served. Much soup with good bread was given. They even made pizza! Those who were homeless & so dirty & smelly had to take their food from a window, so as not to offend the others, especially children.

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People could sit or do takeout.

Maria put this affair onto Face Book with her own picture proudly standing next to the poor on the Christmas feast.

She went all out on Christmas, huge decorated tree inside & even one big one outside by the parking lot, all color baubles, tinsel, bit star on top, at bottom the statue of Jesus in the manger/stable with his family & beasts looking over him. This delighted the children, some of whom had no tree & no décor of this type.

The food she had prepared was all out: Turkey/& or chicken with all the trimmings & sumptuous desserts. Each child got a bag of five candy bars to take home – the healthy kinds with coconut, peanut butter & nuts with the chocolate. And believe it or not, she got a large number of champagne bottles for the adults. This was a big hit! And she had a little band, a piano which was there all year & played during dinner – popular & classical – which was augmented by other instruments & a few singers who had all the carols ready for the people to join in.

There was more. Weeks before Christmas Maria asked all her friends to donate gifts they could hand out to the poor. Some of the gifts were exquisite – & Maria & here servants went personally to each house to collect. Kids were asked to sacrifice one of their toys – even if it was one which they favored the least or had gotten tired of. Girls gave dolls, the older ones gave new cosmetics & costume jewelry, boys gave replicas of trucks, & luxury cars. There were statues, paintings & some appliances like cd players & such.

{The other room housed, at all times, the used clothing of the rich, especially for children, & including beautiful blankets, sheets, kitchen appliances, dishes, silverware, cups, glasses & the like – even golf clubs & old tennis or badminton rackets!: almost everything you could want for your house & family. Everything was spotless – clothing laundered & washed clean with steam – Maria was meticulous. She wanted no dingy ‘thrift store’ scent.}

When Maria visited for Christmas, of course she had two body guards with her & did NOT use the Rolls, just an ordinary car from the servants. The pictures she took standing with the poor, featured on Face Book, showing her beaming with joy, proved to the world how much she cared & there was JOY in charity.

And it was important to put images of the folks having a good time, & the children beaming, holding the presents they had chosen from the collection – & those who donated could see their old toy or blanket happily in the arms of some poor tyke who really needed it!

And the poor were dressed to the hilt. They had gone earlier to the used store & picked out the best clothing they could find.

Now the husband of Maria, Henry, everyone thought was a tough guy & not soft. But deep inside he was proud of his wife although he said not much, but he was generous to the hilt & sometimes gave large bonuses for some poor family in need; for instance the Grandmother Bettina. She was caring for eight children! Both her daughters had come to a bad end, each had had four kids. One of them died of an overdose; her husband was in jail for violent crimes & drug dealing – a long sentence. The other daughter had died in a street shootout, her husband was nowhere to be found. The kids were orphans under Bettina’s care & yes, she did get benefits, but it wasn’t enough. Henry donated $800 a month or 100 to each child, to this family each year, until the kids would turn eighteen. And they did visit Maria’s center almost daily, receiving the gifts & food & this family was saved from the worst poverty. And besides receiving, they donated their time to work there, out of their own hearts of gratitude – it was not compulsory.

Other women in Maria’ bracket funded animal shelters or gave cash to a list of families in need – many were women with children, no man. Some gave large amounts to various Churches or battered women’s shelters.

Now as I said, not all were good souls. An example of a spiritually misguided woman was Annette Spellding. Her husband was a TV tycoon, so rich they built an estate worth 100 million. Annette had exquisite taste; she spent all her time designing the building, then furnishing it. Their status was so high that the Prince Charles, the Duke of Windsor, visited!

But Anna had no time for charities, she would do things like collect antique dolls & even had a room for them. What in tarnation could a grown woman do with hundreds of dolls? But there they were.

And when Anna died, she took nothing with her, surprise, surprise. She had all of eternity to think on what she could have done to help the poor, whom she ignored.

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The Tennis Game of Helen

 

At first, Helen & Harry started as equals with Harry having the edge. But soon, Helen left him behind. Why? Because Harry was pursuing other goals & stopped practicing, his games were sporadic. But Helen was committed & faithfully followed her coach.

Bit by bit, game by game, she was becoming a legend. Pretty soon no one could beat her – neither male nor female. There came a cliché when someone was bragging a bit much, the retort was,

“But you can’t beat Helen.”

People became fascinated by her & why was she so good? They tried to spy out her secrets to no avail, so it was assumed it was her coach. Some of the toffs hired him also, but the results were mixed. Indeed he gave the same advise to all, but not all followed accurately nor did they practice enough, nor did they all have great talent. The downfall of the average guy was arrogance in not obeying the coach, the downfall of most women was envy of Helen but lack of confidence in themselves.

Then someone caught her, on her knees, in the dressing room, praying her Rosary to the Holy Mother. Then rumor went out it was God helping her smash her victims.

But this was not true. Helen had gone back to her childhood training by her Mom, who had the children on their knees, reciting the Holy Rosary every day.

After graduating her girl’s school she escaped their influence, her spirituality sprang back & she wanted to pray out of Love – no ulterior motives. It gave her peace of mind. She did not invoke the Supernatural to win games – it would not be the affair of God to defeat one person against another – God loves all. However, it did help her win because the Grace of God brought out the best in her. It was just a matter of obeying her coach & practicing, along with talent.

So let us have a look at what this coach taught Helen & some of us can gain insights to better our own game, lol.

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Helen’s teacher saw her innate grace & worked at maximizing that. He focused on the fluidity of her moves, concentration on the ball and the correct preparation and swing pattern.

He told Helen that she must stay balanced and composed at all times even when the match was going against her.

 

Helen had great confidence in her teacher – his words were sacred, but also, she believed in herself, a key element.

Coach Kellerman emphasized that Helen must meditate off the court, to send the power gained there while playing for the big points.

 

But here is the biggie – everyone listen. He taught her to hit a two-handed backhand. The other guys were using one arm with the backhand stroke but because Helen used two hands her backhand service return was lethal – it made that shot a weapon.

 

Her opponents were so afraid of hitting the serve to her backhand that they started to go to her forehand but her forehand was always a good shot so they had nowhere to go. Helen became a strong returner of serve regardless the side her opponent served her on (forehand or backhand.)

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Helen was beating everyone. Her new fiancé {will explain later} challenged all his friends, male as well as female, to take her on. He tried one game with his beauty & it was curtains. He wanted to test her power & make sport of his friends – all of whom felt superior to her because of their status, arrogance & wealth. And some of them were really good, compared to average folks, but this Helen business was another dimension!

 

When she came upon one of these puffed-up types, Helen would pull this trick, which would afterward humiliate them. At the beginning of a tennis match they flip a coin to see who serves first …..whenever she would win the coin toss (although most people when they win

would elect to serve first (serving is advantageous) Helen would tell her opponent to serve first so she could break their serve the very first game of the match. (To break serve means the returner wins the game that the opponent is serving.)

Also Helen had such confidence in her service return that when her opponent missed their first serve she would move up in the court to intimidate them (by doing this she was sending them the message that she didn’t respect their second serve and was going to slam the serve back for a winner) and this so discombobulated her opponents that they would often double fault…. meaning they would miss their second serve and she would win the point.

 

The crowd loved watching Helen because she had variety and hit spectacular shots. At these times she would raise her hands in the air and wave to the crowd for applause. This love affair of crowd to Helen was great for her but demoralizing to the other guy.

All the things Helen does disrupts her opponents, especially the men. They can’t stand the fact that the crowd gets behind her spectacular shots, running around gracefully, hitting winners and humiliating them so they lose their concentration & their game goes downhill.

Also the audacity that a woman would move up in the court on a male second serve showing it total disrespect was unnerving for the men.

 

And then there was her beauty & style. As I said before, she looked like Gene Tierney. Her tennis garb was functional, tasteful and sexy. The males were attracted to her & wanted to impress her, not be beaten by her. Beautiful women they saw as sex objects, not competitors. If Helen was ugly they might have said,

“Oh well, beaten by a three bagger – she has nothing to do but practice so sure, she can beat me.”

The tennis set talked about Helen constantly, more & more people challenged her to no avail. She ruled supreme.

 

To be continued. This is from the forthcoming book, “Church of Women,” copyrighted Rasa Von Werder 2023, all rights reserved.

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College of the Gender War, Core Tenets

Harry’s Life & Family

                Harry Hareston’s Family & Their Lifestyle

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                The Hareston family lived in Greenwich, Ct, – but don’t get excited, their home was not a mansion or estate. They lived in the beautiful but relatively humble guest house or ‘gardener’s place’ behind the Big House.

Part 2 of (4) – Harry Hareston  from the forthcoming novel by Rasa Von Werder: “Church of Women” copyrighted Rasa Von Werder, all rights reserved

And Maude Hareston was not an ‘elegant, refined snob’ like the Lady of the Manor but a housekeeper/maid who was on call 24/7, six days a week.

        She begged off for Sunday as she was religious & wanted to spend the day with the Lord, Church, prayer & meditation. But they insisted that if they had an emergency, like one of the kids got sick, she had to help, & of course she agreed.

      Maude worked hard. On record, her job was supposed to be eight hours a day but in reality she ended up working, most days, twelve hours a day. It wasn’t a hardship on her family as Harry Sr was also on call all week & gone except for meals & sleep, while the kids were either in school, playing sports or hanging with friends. She took care of her own family & the rich Narthers – a formidable task but she was strong as an ox & determined.

        And what did she get for her efforts? It started in the 60’s when she was granted $250 a month. Sounds awful today but in 1965 this was for 2022 $2,309 a month & $27,708 a year. They got this lovely home to live in free {all utilities paid} & lots of perks. The perks were, for one thing, so much food from the house they scarcely had to buy groceries. Maude was the 2nd in Command cook, Mr. Franz was hired three days a week for the dinners, Maude was ‘Sous Chef’.

        Maude’s duties were as follows: Make the Master’s beds {they had adjoining rooms}every day, hang up their clothes, dust & vacuum. Do all the food shopping daily, groceries & bakery. Any other basic items Boss Lady needed that day were purchased by her –Nancy Narther was busy with charity work, health spa & special purchases for the house, family & herself.

        Second, she was responsible for the breakfast & lunch every day & on the days Chef Franz was there. Everyone ate breakfast. It was eggs, potatoes & pancakes, & sometimes the kids, when they were young, wanted corn flakes or oats with milk & bananas or strawberries. Lunch was sparse as the kids were in school, the Boss was at work & Nancy was on a diet or out. On weekends they were there for most meals, especially dinner, always breakfast, sometimes lunch. Dinner was formal, Maude made it: Meat {chicken, steak or prime rib, fish} & potatoes {baked, boiled or mashed} or rice or pasta, vegetables, various salads like Cesar Salad with anchovies & raw egg yolks, or Waldorf Salad (Romaine, walnuts, apples) or American Salad with tomatoes; always cake, pie or other desserts as the kids demanded it, the adults passed. {Rich people don’t get fat, their motto being, “You can’t be too thin or too rich.”}

        When Mr. Franz was there Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday {he worked at a posh French bistro he owned Friday & Saturday, – his wife, also a French Chef, cooked the other days} he only made the dinner, for which he was paid $300 the month {this figures from 1965 to 2022 – $2771 per month for 12 days work, $33,252 a year – $231 per day he worked…his day also was not the full eight hours but five or six at the most} – way more than Maude but then, French Chefs don’t come cheap. He also prepared the parties or special meals they had – even his wife participated in some of these. They had dignitaries, politicians & tycoons at the table. At these times Maude helped & as usual did the ‘dirty work’ of washing, slicing, grating, prepping & then cleaned the kitchen & washed the dishes & pots & pans. She never complained. Mr & Mrs Franz treated her like an underling & she called them ‘Sir’ & ‘Ma’am’ just like she did all the others on top.

        Also Mr. Franz made double the portions needed at each service, the second half being housed in their huge freezers, which were utilized by Mrs. Nather for Sundays, when Maude was off. Or else Maude, at their request would sometimes take out these dinners for weekends instead of the usual American fare. {Mrs Nather knew how to cook, just didn’t want to – unless you love it, it can be drudgery.}

        When meals were finished Maude hit her bonanzas as she got all the leftovers she wanted – good stuff. Kids would take one bite from a croissant, leave the rest. Half a piece of cake, leave the rest. She could take these home, cut off the bitten piece & throw it to the birds & the rest was good. And a big salad, sometimes half was left behind. They didn’t want it on the table again, she could have it. Same with soup. Soup left over she could have. They rarely ate leftovers – usually on Sunday when no help was there. Then they only ate bread that was no more than two days old – past that time she could have it. She never stole or took anything not allowed her – she was as honest as a saint – {that’s why the owners trusted her} but with these handouts she saved half the money she would have for food.

        This is a typical esoteric meal Mr. Franz would make:

 

        *Leek and potato soup

        *Grated beet salad {grated, boiled beets tossed with garlic, seasoning & wine, oil & vinegar – cooled. Then tossed with salad greens & endive}

        *sautéed mushrooms: sautéed in butter, add tbs of chopped shallots

        *Deviled game hens: ‘butterfly’ & broil hens, make a mayonnaise-like sauce, 1/3 cup mustard, minced shallot, pinches of dried tarragon or rosemary, drops of Tabasco sauce & 3 tbsp pan seasonings. Paint this on skin of hens, pat on a layer of white bread crumbs. Baste with remaining juices. Finish cooking in broiler.

        *Caramel Custard for dessert

 

          The most important aspect of Maude’s presence to the Nather family was care of their children, especially when they were small. Maude was reliable in all ways & good for emergencies, like when the kids got hurt. She knew how to tend a wound properly & bandage it, she knew how to bind up a sprain, & she would keep the children as safe as possible. At the time we are speaking of now, the kids went from 15, the female, to 18 & 20 for the boys – they didn’t need baby sitting but they sometimes needed help.

 

          What did Harry Sr. think of all this? He hated it. He looked at the Big House with sad envy. He was ashamed his wife was their maid – he never told anyone. When he had to, he called her ‘housekeeper’ which was fairly accurate.

        Being a ‘servant’ gave him bad memories of his childhood. His own Dad had been a truck driver, never graduating to a higher place. {His Mom was a waitress at a diner.}

        Harry got a job as a janitor at the plant after school. He saw how his Dad was treated. When he went into the office, the Boss didn’t even raise his head to acknowledge

him, spoke to him looking at the desk, like he was irrelevant. When they passed each other in the plant Boss Man didn’t say hello, just acted like he was invisible – a typical trait of those who think they are above someone.

        Harry was hurt. And although Dad never said anything about this, Harry noticed that when he came home from work at the plant he was grumpy & not only that, but cruel. He’d criticize Harry for the slightest things, yelling,

“Haven’t you learned anything about being a janitor? Clean this place up!”

Harry suffered & wished for kindness, but instead of being sensitive to his own son, he became just like his Dad. He infested his son with the same insecurity & low self esteem.

His ambition to lift their station in life rested on his kids. He put Helen in that posh girl’s school at twelve, & he began to work on Harry age 16. Harry would never be the same. He worked hard as a Caddy at the Country Club, he & sis both took tennis lessons & practiced a lot because the Nathers had a tennis court, & two sons that liked to play.

One of the sons, Jonathan, in time, developed a crush on Helen. He was twenty – Helen seventeen when it started, all on the tennis court.

He imagined he had a chance. His Mom had said he was handsome, people were nice to him but that’s because he was rich. Personally, he was not good looking, in fact, goofy. He had reddish hair, freckles & buck teeth. He was tall & gangly, not much muscle or sex appeal. His tennis was average, his golf worse, not like Harry Jr who excelled at all sports.

But Helen had turned into a Gene Tierney, even better some said. She was 5’8” with a perfect figure, 34-24-36. She carried herself well, spoke with polish, laughed easily & radiated charm, played great tennis & danced gracefully. She was all things to all men, a centerpiece.

During the hottest days of summer the Nather boys invited her & Harry to their pool, & then invited their friends for a party. Pizza & ice cream were served. Here Jonathan reveled in Helen’s beauty & all the guys stealing glances at her, while the other females felt envy & gossiped about her in a catty fashion,

“Oh, look at her putting on airs. Her Dad is the chauffer & her Mom is the maid, haha! Shell never be anybody.”

But oh, how wrong they were.

the-death-of-ophelia-by-Eugene-Delacroix-025 The-Reception the-watzmann-1825 thm_detail_gemaelde_polonia_hi Toulouse,Mantel tumblr_inline_ndeh2nGZas1s5v4l0 VARUVA Vincent-van-Gogh-Good-Samaritan-after-Eugene-Delacroix willem-van-herp william bouguereau-la toilette de venus

One day Jonathan decided to make a serious pass at Helen, in fact, his imagination was so strong that because Helen was nice to him, he thought she had feelings. He took her to the side by a bench she was on & said,

“Helen, I am mad abut you. How’s the two of us dating & maybe getting engaged?”

She was taken aback but her composure & rebound was quick,

“Well, John, I must confess. I am already spoken for to another. We haven’t made an announcement yet.”

She was lying, but it was the only retort that would work. Anything else, like,

“Let’s just be friends,”

would have been, to him, an insult. Can’t insult the employer of your Mom.

Downhearted, he walked away & pretended to be happy but he was as sullen as could be inside.

Strangely enough, this statement of hers was soon to come true.

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College of the Gender War, Core Tenets

NOVEL: HARRY HARESTON

                Novel – 4 – Harry Hareston

 

For the forthcoming novel “Church of Women”    3-29-23

 

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          Harry Hareston led an interesting life. He will be featured strongly in a chapter that describes the ordeal little Stevie went through with three men. These men were supposed to teach him ‘masculine traits’, as described by a fake Member of the Community who would later be ousted – a female named Cassandra Cunningham. Two of the men that were to be his ‘examples’ were tycoons. Harry was the third man, rich but no tycoon, & not ‘to the manor born,’ – the other guys viewed him as a servant although he had good qualities to recommend him, an impressive background & was their body guard.

          Harry’s parents were sort of opposites. His Mom Maude had started out as a beautiful girl, but as the years rolled on she gained weight, her eyes got bad from being a book worm so thick glasses did not add to her appeal. She was happy with her married life & two children, Harry & Helen & her religious life was basic to her, she practiced it assiduously, going to Church & praying the rosary EVERY DAY. She’d speak of God a lot to the children – not to Harry Sr. as he wasn’t interested – read to them from the Children’s Bible from an early age – had them go to Catechism, Holy Communion & Mass every Sunday. She felt she was leading the perfect life & never complained.

          But Harry Sr. was a chauffer with a plan – & that was to become a respected member of the elite community. It was far fetched but his hopes were strong. He started out as a truck driver for a large company & was so good at all he did – driving, repairing, managing & reliability, that the owner of the company appointed him Chief of the truck pool & for a while he worked a lot at a desk.

          After a couple years he was awarded a different job – personal chauffer to the owner with his Rolls Royce & other cars, & this carried privileges. Here the designs of Harry Sr. looked like they could be fulfilled, as he now rubbed shoulders with elites, going to all the affairs the Boss went to, sometimes even being invited to their gatherings or shindigs not necessarily as an equal, but as another man they respected, & he got to know the ways of the ‘elites’, how they think, how they talk, act, dress & so on. This went on for many years & when he heard the guys speaking of certain stocks he put his relatively meager savings into them & made some pretty good profits.

          He also got perks like being friendly with some of the guys, – who he’d go get from bars when they were drinking to drive them home – or from their mistresses, same thing, & some of the guys gave him designer clothing like super expensive jackets they didn’t need any more or tuxedoes when they had gained weight & no longer fit. But the big perk was the cars.

          Super rich guys would buy new cars constantly & sell their old ones. This way he got to own three luxury cars instead of one – the guys would sell these cars much cheaper to him, in part to insure he’d keep his mouth shut about the drunken times, mistresses & ‘whores.’ He got a white Cadillac, a red Corvette & a frost-violet Lamborghini Diablo which the dealer called ‘purple’. Yes, they were all at least ten years old, but people didn’t know how long he’d had them.

          Harry Sr. felt his children would be tickets to the life of luxury. If he set them up with society – he had the connections – they would marry “well”, gain all the perks including money – & some of this would include him & his wife. His mind was on this constantly as he watched them grow up & they were extremely good looking – taking after him & his wife when she was young. And with their looks, he thought, & his connections, how could they fail? Time would prove him right.

          But he had to begin training the kids to prepare them for the ‘high life.’ And so he found an exclusive, very posh school for Helen, which she entered at twelve. This would change her ways forever as the girls were not religious & laughed at her devotion. This dampened her ardor for God as she was no saint, just doing what her Mom taught her, so she stopped some of the things that gave her away as ‘religious fanatic.’ She adopted the ways of the other girls – which is what Dad wanted – affecting a sort of aloof, disdainful attitude of privilege, not taking anything seriously, not giving away her soft emotions. She learned how to sit, eat, dress, talk & gossip like the other girls – it would serve her well.

          Now Harry Jr. was an excellent sportsman from the time of childhood, well developed, tall, with dark curly hair, beautifully shaped lips, grey-green eyes with soft thick eyebrows, a perfectly even & harmonious face – a chip off the old block.

Harry Sr was never nice to Jr, he picked on him from the beginning, thinking the more he corrected the boy the quicker he’d become ‘a man.’ But he was cruel.

          Little Harry’s job was the wash the cars from the age of ten – all four of them, including the Rolls Royce which was parked at their house as the owner didn’t drive it.

          When he washed the Caddy – which was the car Mom preferred & drove – she always praised & thanked him.

          But when he washed Dad’s cars he’d keep yelling at him to hurry up & would find something wrong with each job – like the spokes on the wheels were not polished enough, the inside was not perfect, all the soap was not rinsed off. He’d say things like,

          “Can’t you do anything right? Even a moron can wash a car so you’re less than a moron.”

          One day when Harry was washing the Rolls {all the cars had to be washed every other day & spruced up inside, especially the Rolls} – Sr got a call from the boss to pick him up right now. This put Dad on edge, as he was known for his punctuality & reliability.

          He went out & seeing the boy wasn’t finished, he grabbed him & pushed him so hard he fell on the lawn, Dad calling him ‘idiot’, quickly took the power wash, finished the job & sped off.

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          When Jr got less than a B on any subject He’d say,

          “Why a C here? This is easy stuff. What’s the matter with you?”

         

 

 

Harry was a terrific sportsman & chosen co-captain of the High School football team. He was now sixteen. His Dad’s response was,

“So you couldn’t even make Captain? You had to share the spotlight with another guy?”

He didn’t praise him for all the A’s & B’s he got, just picked on him for less than that. Maude did damage control, took the poor boy aside & spoke to him gently,

          “Your Dad doesn’t mean to be like that. He’s under pressure. The guys he works for are pushing him all the time, they intimidate him & he’s afraid to let them down. But he really loves you.

          I appreciate all the good that you do.”

          And she would hug her son tenderly.

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          Junior was afraid to say the rosary with Mom any more as Dad would give them dirty looks, saying,

          “Can’t the boy do something more constructive? The rosary won’t help him get by in life – he needs to work on getting ahead….I’m going to get him a job as a golf Caddy, then he won’t have so much time to waste.”

          When he ranted like this Mom would hush the boy not to answer. She tolerated Dad as that’s all she could do, she made excuses for him with her mind as she knew he was ambitious & this need was driving him crazy. Success was his God, he’d get there any way he could & time was of the essence. He intended to be rich, set for the good life, by the time he was fifty, 60 at the absolute latest, & he was now 45.

And so he set off, that next day, to talk to the owner of the local Golf Course to give his boy a job, which he got easily, as they were friends, & on his way home he drove by a park.

          There he sees his son playing basketball with two black guys & one white. He drives toward some thick pine trees where he parks the Rolls, not wanting the guys to see it, gets out & stands where Harry can see him by a black iron gate. When Harry notices Dad standing there he’s summoned.

          Then Dad says accusingly,

          “What are you doing?”

          The boy is puzzled,

          “Playing basketball.”

          “Basketball is a nigger game! It’ll never get you anywhere. I just got you a job as a golf Caddy, you start tomorrow. And I’ll buy you tennis lessons. The class people play tennis.”

          He tells him to get in the car. But the boy protests,

          “I have to get the ball – it’s mine.”

          “Forget the ball – you won’t need it. Let it be a parting gift to them as they won’t see you any more.”

          Jr almost gets tears in his eyes – he can’t even say good bye to his friends.

          By now the other guys have made it to the gate, carrying his ball, & they spot the Rolls with astonishment.

But Father & son are already in the car & when Dad sees the other guys, he speeds off.

          They look at Jr sadly, one saying,

         

“I don’t think he’s coming back.”

          They had some idea what was going on – two worlds, the world of poverty & the world of the rich, & never the twain shall meet.

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College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Rosa, Sam & Sam, the Prostitutes

 Rosa, Sam & Sam, the Prostitutes  2-7-23

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          Rosa, Anna’s mother, was a saint. One of the guys who hung out at her General Store suggested she put a sign in front, as all she had was ‘Open’ – lit up in red. He said to name it ‘Rosa’s Café,’ it sounded svelte – after all their gang sat there every day drinking coffee after coffee, but she said, writing something down,

          “Put this up there.”

          He looked at it & took off. He came back with a piece of wood four feet long, two feet wide. It was etched by a wood-burning rod in black – On top,

          “Love thy neighbor”

          and bottom,

          “As thyself.”

          And there is stayed forever more on top of the door. It was her motto.

Copyrighted Rasa Von Werder 2023, all rights reserved. This is part of the book ‘Church of Women’

          Many cases proved Anna’s virtue. One was Samuel. Samuel was a ‘maintenance man’ aka janitor, at the local school. He made decent money but why was his family so hard up? And why was his wife, Samantha, coming into the store & ‘round abut town with a black eye & bruises?

          The guys at the store hated Samuel, labeling him a whoremaster & wife beater, but when he came in, Rosa treated him with the same respect as anyone else.

“Good afternoon, Samuel, what can I do for you?”

He got what was needed. She smiled & said,

“Have a great day,”

and she said it with kindness, not like a machine.

 

 

One day he took his cup of coffee & headed toward the potbelly stove where the other guys sat – but their looks were so negative he veered around, went back to the counter & sat.

The guys later said to Rosa,

“Why do you tolerate him? Throw him out; tell him he isn’t wanted here.”

But Rosa said,

“That would be against God. Who am I to judge him? God alone is the judge.”

She was the same with the ones called ‘prostitutes,’ which the fair minded call ‘adult therapists.’

There were three females living nearby who frequented the tiny ‘red light area.’ It was a bar with an adult book store on one side & a diner on the other, all owned by city men & this area had both legit & not-so-legit practices.

These women hung there a lot, sitting in the bar picking up men, standing in front of the bar, walking up to men in the parking lot who stopped there or the adult store, or going into the diner on & off, especially to warm up in the winter.

When they found a customer the main place of practice was the parking lot behind the mall. No one went there except these people & those who worked in the three spots mentioned – the other stores – only the men who owned or worked in them parked or walked back there, the women felt unsafe. It was a large lot, most of the back of it gravel/dirt, large enough for two huge trucks if need be, & past that, wilderness.

These three ladies were friends & came to the Store from time to time together. You could instantly tell they were different. They were ‘poverty’ or ‘working class’ by their manner. Loud, crass & crude, they often chewed gum or smoked as they came in. They were ‘unrestrained.’ They were not beautiful or sexy in the movie star sense of the word, but they sometimes wore low cut tops or ‘pedal pushers’ {pants to the knees} with high heels. Heels were something none of the rural ladies wore except for special occasions like Church. But these females wore super high heels with platforms, a dead giveaway to their profession – perhaps they were advertising. In winter they wore warm thick coats, unzipped, which they would open & flash their bodies to potential customers.

These females would come into the store in the middle of the day. They slept until noon, at night they worked, so when they might amble in it was around two o’clock. The potbelly stove was crackling so they would take their sandwich & coffee & sit by it. They spoke sometimes loud, sometimes quiet, a unique way of conversation unique to them. Whisper, whisper, then loud laughter or exclamation. Quiet, quiet, then a raucous cry, on & on until their wares were done & they had to trudge.

Some of the regulars, both male & female, criticized Rosa for being nice to them. Rosa said,

“To me, they are like anyone else; God’s creatures. Why should anyone look down on them with hate? Doesn’t everyone do sex? Weren’t we born out of sex? If they do sex for money, it’s a business, they work to survive. They put food on the table, they have children.”

The critic would counter with,

 

“Yes, people have legitimate sex, inside of marriage but sex for money like this is a sin.”

And Rosa said,

“Don’t you have sex with your husband’s for money? Don’t they give you their paycheck, & part of your obligation is sex? If you stopped giving your husband sex, would he still support you?”

At that they were silenced.

“Whether a person sins or not is between them & God. What’s it to do with me? I treat everyone with respect.”

 

Back Story of the Red Light District – which later we’ll see Samuel Began Visiting

 

Matt & Bob Ricco had come into town from the city & took over the last three buildings, to the left, at the little mall. There were ten buildings in all – the extreme right housed the ‘redneck’ go-go bar where Anna later worked. The Ricco brothers had the adult book store, ‘sexy’ bar & diner. At first, they had no dancing in the bar. But they visited ‘Mr. Red Fox’ & saw the dancers & thought,

“If they can do it, we can do it better. It might be a good angle to jack up business & bring some hot girls in.”

This is the business setup, the details not yet explained. As I said, sex therapists hung around these three buildings. But the center of the action was the bar. They had an understanding/unofficial agreement with the brothers that went like this:

‘You hang around the bar, go up to a costumer & see if he wants to buy you a drink.’

 

The drinks could be FAKE or REAL. They cost $15 for the ladies & if the female wanted NO ALCOHOL she’d say to the bartender or waitress,

“Make mine weak.”

If she wanted alcohol in it – two shots, she’d say,

“Make mine strong.”

The bartenders put something with color into the large mug, whatever it was, soda, seltzer, so it would look legit. On the ‘drink menu’ it said 3 shots but it was only 2. The men never ordered these drinks, they were too weird. But if an outsider did, they’d get a real 3 shot whiskey with soda for $15.

If the male wanted to go further with the lady – get some ‘action’ they would go to a booth. Some of the new guys didn’t know the score & they’d sit with the female for a long time at the bar while she kept ordering these special drinks – she’d get $8 for each drink, the house $7. Most professionals did not see this as ‘good money’ & were eager to service the guy, so they would suggest they either go to a booth or, if they had progressed in their negotiations, behind the mall in his vehicle.

The booths were dimly lit. You could trip over your grey cat on the way to one. Each booth had a pack of handi-wipes – the kind you clean your baby’s diaper bottom with – on the table. If an outsider asked why they were there they would be told ‘to clean your hands after the food.’

But in reality it was to wipe up after hand jobs for the female & male. What they charged was what they could

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 get. If they could persuade the guy to give them $50 they did but if he refused they would do one for as low as $20. After the job was done they usually skedaddled as those phony drinks brought little profit, they had to move for money, & mostly the guys were done & left the bar.

          She’d either move toward another likely customer there or go outside to look for candidates. The average female worker could make $300 a night from about 7-8pm to bar closing at 1:00 or 2pm. Weekdays they closed at 1:00, weekends 2pm. Women worked as many nights as they could so based on this, they averaged $1,500 a week – more than minimum wage. It mostly depended on how the female hustled, not how she looked. Men would go blind after a few drinks.

          Now food: They served food but only hamburgers with potato chips or corn chips. They were large, with lettuce, tomato, onion & pickle if you wished. If a person didn’t want the hamburger the other alternative was all cheese – they would put 6 slices of American cheese on the bun, with the lettuce, tomato, onion & pickle. Some men didn’t want anything but the grilled bun & cheese. Whichever you had, it was $10.

          Now if a family came up to the bar to order food & drinks they were told that the food was only for people who worked there – please see the diner next door. Although they could legally have children in the bar as they served food, they didn’t want a child to go there & see a male or female cleaning up after sex, or to spot condoms in the garbage.

 

          There had to be two rest rooms. One was within the kitchen, back room area, where the dancers changed & any female therapists or employees had lockers they could keep their things. This was used by females & the owners – the other 2 or 3 male employees used the men’s room in the main bar. When females finished with guys in the back area they could return to the bar by the back door & fix up.

The dancers were a separate lot from the therapists, although they could participate in the drink business if they wanted. All the dancers were hounded for ‘drinks’ & then sex. But the average dancer had her mind on dancing & tips. The men could sit around two sides of the stage – not the side that would be facing the main bar area so people could see. These were the guys who tipped the most, some were generous.

          The dancing system was two girls a night, half hour on, half hour off. During the half hour off is when they changed & could sit with a customer for a minute, as time was short they usually got $8 out of the one drink. But to go to the bar they had to put on their street clothes, then come back to change again. This took time & energy, mostly they stayed backstage, rested, refreshed their makeup & had to go back on.

          The outfits of these dancers were much sexier than the redneck bar. The bottoms were sometimes more like ‘thongs’ & the entire bikinis were of material sometimes so thin you could almost see through. They were often custom made, as women wouldn’t wear such deals on the beach. They wore high heels with platforms.

          And their dancing was more suggestive. Matt said to one girl,

          “You ain’t doin’ it right. Jiggle your tits, bump & grind, lick your finger – this ain’t the high School Prom.”

Whereas at the ‘Mr. Red Fox’ they wore normal beach bikinis, bathing suits & halters with cut off shorts, flat shoes or barefoot, their dancing was not suggestive. This suited the type of clientele, all locals, some with family.

There was also the smell of weed coming out of the office. The origin was unknown, only that some of the staff smoked it.

          No, the Ricco brothers did not get ‘free sex.’ That is, they did not demand it. They were decent looking, masculine, wore expensive clothes. So many girls went after them they thought they were the cat’s meow. It was mostly their money & latching onto them for survival, it wasn’t love. Half the time the girls were having sex with them or anyone for work they were thinking of getting home, cooking dinner for kids & family, resting & wiping clean their minds of what they had to do.

 

          Matt was 5’10”, 39 years old, shiny salt & pepper black hair & dark eyes. He looked rugged. He wore double breasted dark suits with white shirts. Bob was gentle-looking, sweet expression, straight brown hair & brown eyes, a thin mustache, 36, he liked grey double-breasted suits with white shirts.

          Although they looked like ‘gentlemen’ in their suits, when they started to talk you knew they were low-class. The vocabulary & idioms they used gave them away & the crudeness also. They’d use phrases – to the girls – if they were mad like,

          “Sit your ass down over here,”

          or

          “This ain’t your beauty parlor”

          or

          “You ain’t the star here, I am!”

          You can take the boy out of the ghetto, but you can’t take the ghetto out of the boy.        

          The guys were usually not there at the same time, they had businesses back in New York City. What other businesses they ran no one knew.

 

          The adult book store was a hoot. One local man got a job there. There were booths where men could look at porno & masturbate. Charles had to take the cash till to the office past the booths. As he walked he slid & the cash till went flying. He had stepped on some sperm.

          This is the world Samuel entered when he started to go astray.

 

When Samuel’s wife Samantha, would come in with a black eye, she would hold the bruised part of her face away from people but the more she tried to hide it, the more obvious it became.

She tried to make ends meet with three children; a one year old baby, eight year old girl & ten year old boy. She shopped for clothes only at the thrift store. She bought most of their needs at the dollar or discount store & she went to the regular grocery only when she had to. In summer she had the greens in their garden, in winter the

 

General Store would get fresh stuff from an 80 year old lady with a greenhouse.

Their house was a tiny two bedrooms on a postage stamp property, in front of huge fields that belonged to someone else. It was not decrepit or ruined, no holes in the roof, walls were fine, no broken windows. But they had little furniture, most of it came with the house when they

bought it & a couple pieces they got from the Salvation Army, that was it.

          But then, it got worse. About a year prior to the crisis

Samuel began to drink more. His drinking was moderate – he & Samantha watched TV Friday & Saturday nights drinking beer or a bit of whiskey.

          But now he absented himself on the nights he got paid, every two weeks. He’d go to the red light bar & drink. A back room sometimes had a poker game {a con man deal you couldn’t win}; he’d go in & lose a couple hundred bucks. He’d come back in the bar, drink some more. One of the girls there or outside would approach him; he’d give in & take her in his truck to the back lot. He’d come back to the bar & drink some more.

          He’d come home late & Samantha would be waiting for the pay check. But the money was drained, there’d usually be six hundred left out of the nine hundred & fifty cash he would get.

          Bills had to be paid. There was propane gas, electric every month, in winter, the fuel bills were terrible. They had gotten a small wood stove in the living room but the heat didn’t reach the bedrooms. And the wood had to be bought, she’d run out of wood.

          One horrendous incident Samantha was driven to was the theft of baby aspirin. In a discount store she got her items, all necessities, {no luxuries for them}, when she spotted the baby aspirin. But she already had got all she

could afford in the cart. The kids complained of headaches from what was going on. She looked around – no one was looking, she put it in her vest pocket & moved on.

          But a saleslady had seen her & told the manager. He came over when she was checking out & said,

          “Would you like to pay for what you put in your pocket?”

          She took it out & placed it on the counter, saying,

“I’m sorry—but I don’t have enough money for this.”

          This was seen by the customer behind her, it was embarrassing. And the manager added,

“We’d like you to do your shopping elsewhere from now on.”

Dash it – this was one of her favorite discount stores!

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          Luckily, she had two dependable allies – Rosa at the General Store, & Joseph Leon, one of the regulars there, who was deeply in love with her.

          Joseph Leon had his own tale to tell. Ever since he laid eyes on Samantha he loved her. Sam was 33, he was 64 & married. He dared not show his love, he tried to keep his eyes off her when she came into the store. But the more he tried to avert his gaze the more it was noticed, as you could see his conversation stopped when she came in, his mind was diverted.

          His chance to meet her came when Rosa gave him a bag of groceries to take her.

          It was day – Samuel was at work, a good time to chat. Rosa knew better than to send a man there in the evening – husband’s get jealous, or else indignant by some man bringing help.

          But when he brought food she was grateful as the kids never got enough, milk for the baby was urgent, & sweets for the others were snapped up.     

 

Joseph then got the idea that if Rosa could send a care package, so could he, & that would give him the excuse to visit her. He didn’t tell her it was from him, he pretended it was the store but later she guessed it.

          After a while he told Samantha he was in love with her. He didn’t try anything – they never touched, but she now knew she had someone she could ask for big help. He wasn’t rich, but he was solvent; she wasn’t.

          Over that year he paid several bills for her, food constantly, electric bills, gas bills & even her taxes. They weren’t high as their property poor, but they had to be paid or the house could be taken away. All this was kept under cover, no one knew about it as her house was off to the side where you couldn’t see who parked there – he told no one – she told no one. Although Samantha was grateful she harbored no feelings for Joseph, she saw him as a father figure.

          But Joseph had other ideas. His mind ran to fantasies of Samantha leaving Sam & being with him. He imagined all sorts of setups. Samuel would meet another female – maybe one of the girls at the bars – & runs off with her. Samuel has a car accident & dies. Samuel gets sick & dies. Samantha gets tired of Sam’s shenanigans & wants to leave him & asks Joseph to help.

          Joseph liked his last fantasy the best. He’d find an apt for Samantha in the next state, not terribly far, about fifty miles hence. He’d get a van & quickly move her out while Sam was working. He would support her, could visit once a week & make love. If his wife died before him, he could then marry Samantha & live happily ever after. Anything is possible if you believe.

          But things were boiling over for the couple.

          Again, Samuel wasn’t coming home on pay day. Samantha called the bar – they said he wasn’t there. She didn’t believe them. She decided to do something she’d never done before.

          She couldn’t leave her kinds alone; she took them with her & went to the bar. She had the two older kids hold the baby. She walked into the bar & indeed, he was not there.

          But she knew about the parking lot behind. On a good hunch, she drove back there & there he was – in his truck with a female. At first, she parked discreetly & turned her lights off, spying on him. The light back here weren’t bright but there was a strong moon. She saw just him for a while, the female disappeared. She then saw him talking to her & giving her something. Was it money?

          She didn’t know what came over her, but she turned her car toward his truck – he was parked directed to the woods on the right side of the lot. She got behind him, put her bright lights on, hit the intermittent horn & jumped out of the car screaming, waving her hands & jumping up & down,

          “You beast! You take the food out of our children’s mouth!

          You waste money on other women!

         

You can get all the sex you want from me!

          I hate you – I hate you – I hate you!”

 

          There was another man in the lot busy with a female. He pulled out of there fast.

          The woman Sam was with quickly jumped out of his jeep & ran into the back door of the bar.

          And Samuel got out of there as quick as he could, some people were exiting from the buildings to see what was the noise.

          She screamed until he was out of sight, everyone back there heard her, the same tirade over & over. And she was justified. He was wasting all kinds of money on gambling – on alcohol he could drink at home – & sex when he could get it from his wife. What was wrong with him?

 

          She went home, shaking with rage & fear of what he would do to her. Their fights on Friday nights, Saturday mornings had escalated over the months. He would push her against the wall or hit her & then would stop, go to the bedroom, throw his clothes on the floor & pass out.

          She would then pick up his pants, take out his wallet & find what money was left & hide it under a floor board in the kitchen, a place he wouldn’t look. He’d wake up not

remembering & wondering if he spent the money, a female had rolled him or if his wife cleaned him out.

          But this night was a crisis & she was going to have it out when Sam came home, & she did.

          He arrived around 2:30 Am, she was waiting. As soon as he came in the door she began screaming, the same thing as before. Saying he was the most miserable wretch of a man, she hated him, he wasted their money, she couldn’t feed the kids properly & was late on bills. He was worthless, she was going to leave him.

          At those last words he not only hit her, but knocked her to the floor & jumped on top & began to strangle her. The table fell over as he did this & the kids woke up.

          They ran in screaming, pounding him with their fists but he didn’t seem to feel it. The boy opened a kitchen drawer, got out a hammer & hit him to the back of the head – it knocked him out.

          Samantha got up gasping for air, the kids were relieved she wasn’t dead. But Sam was out.

          They dragged him into the bedroom & left him on the floor. She put her face to his nose to see if he was breathing & he was. So he wasn’t dead. But usually he stayed unconscious from liquor for many hours – the conk on the head would help him stay that way.

          She told the kids,

          “We’re getting out of here.”

          Samantha had one ace in the hole. A sister lived about a hundred miles away, they could make it there. She took the money left in Sam’s wallet – abut $600.

          She took several comforters & pillows from the rooms, & grabbed whatever important things were needed. The marriage certificate on the wall she tore up. Everything else she could leave as her sister had these things.

The car Sam had bought her was a black Cadillac Eldorado, 15 years old. It had rust on the bottom, one of the automatic doors didn’t work, but the engine was fine.

         She felt a great relief as she pulled out of the driveway– the kids fell asleep quickly in the back; they were nestled in comforters & pillows. Samantha was gone.

 

          When Samuel woke up around 10 am he remembered nothing. But there was a note on the table,

          “Don’t look for me.”

          Samuel knew she had relatives including a sister, but he never met them, didn’t know where they lived or their addresses – & Sam’s sister would not be listed under her own name in the book as she was married.

          But he did look for her nevertheless. He called everyone she knew. He went to every store she shopped & looked inside & in the parking lots. He did this every day. No trace. Finally he went to Rosa’s.

          He walked in looking like a ghost.

          He asked Rosa if he could speak to her privately.

          Rosa asked Anna, her daughter to take over & took him to the kitchen.

 

          The kitchen was, luckily, far from the prying ears of other folks & they placed themselves at the table against the wall, each at a corner of the table, Sam his back to a wall, Rosa’s back to the door.

          “She left me!”

          Sam exclaimed.

         

“I can’t live without her! I don’t know what comes over me, but when I start to drink, demons take over & I can’t control myself!”

          He started talking in a mumbly tirade,

          “If she doesn’t come back to me, I’m a dead man. What have I done? Forgive me, God! I’ve sinned so much, so much, not meaning to, not wanting to, but I have, & I deserve punishment!”

          At that he got up & fell to his knees in front of Rosa & put his head in her lap, sobbing.

          Rosa tried to comfort him, not understanding the problem fully. She said,

          “It’ll probably work out. She’ll call you & you will discuss it & she will return.”

          He said,

          “But I don’t know where she went. I know she has a sister but I don’t know her name or where she lives. If she doesn’t come back I’ll die.”

          Rosa said every consoling thing she could think of, that he must keep his faith, not give in to despair, that this is temporary, every cloud has a silver lining, things will change, walk through the valley of death & fear no evil. God is with us & will not allow us to fall into the pit, give God a chance, etc.

          He listened & calmed down. She gave him a napkin to wipe his tears.

          He said thank you & good bye,

“You’re a good woman, Rosa, a friend to everyone. I thank you sincerely”

And he left. As he walked out the people in the store saw his eyes were swollen from crying.

All his efforts to find Sam had failed.

 

Joseph Leon was worried & angry. He hated Samuel, he now had all his dreams dashed, the dreams that kept him alive. Was his hope of joy finished?

But wait – she spoke of a sister. Maybe Samuel knew where the sister lived or at least her name. Surely, she would go there. If only he had a number, a town or a name, he could find her. He had to go to Sam’s & ask him. He’d get it out of him on the pretext he’d find her & persuade her to come back. So off he went.

The house was dark. He knocked on the door, no answer. Sam’s black pickup was there, so maybe he was asleep, most probably passed out from drink. He banged loudly. He went to every window, peered in, saw nothing. The back door brought no response. Then he saw a mallet – those things that have an iron head weighing a few pounds that you put spikes into a piece of wood to split it into firewood. He picked it up to bang on the door so even a deaf mute could hear it – Nothing. Suddenly, with that mallet in hand, all his unconscious rage shot up. If Sam was passed out cold nothing would wake him, why not just do what I feel like doing & destroy his house; instead of killing him, it’s the next best thing. So Joseph shot through the back windows, then the side windows, then the front. All the windows in the house were goners. No response.

He then went to Sam’s truck, pulled out his pocket knife & stabbed each tire, they all went flat. He then took that mallet & pounded the truck here & there & smashed the front window.

 

He heard a car coming in this direction; he quickly jumped into his & sped off.

It was the police – lucky for John they didn’t see him.

Sam’s employer had called – he’d not reported to work for days, did not answer his phone.

Seeing the truck & car, the cops immediately suspected fowl play. They had their guns drawn as they broke the front door down & looked around – no one was there. They saw a note on the table,

“I can’t live without her.”

They turned the note to the other side, where it said in different hand writing,

“Don’t look for me.”

They went outside, sifting through the weeds & shrubbery, but nothing.

Then they looked to the field beyond the house, way down, hundreds of yards, & saw vultures flying ahead – many of them. Could be a dead deer or a body, they better look.

They trudged down there & sure enough, there was Sam, lying on his back, arms open, a shotgun by his right hand. He had blown his brains out.

 

Samantha’s journey

 

    Samantha indeed, had reached her sister with no impediment. Her sister, June, had said many times

          “Don’t take his shit. The next time he might kill you. Come here & if he doesn’t straighten out, forget him.”

          Sam did love Sam, or thought she did. But the lives of her & her kids seemed more & more precarious. He was getting crazier, more violent.

          And the thing with the strangling was the final straw. He could kill her without even remembering. This she could not risk. Her sister had said,

“Who will take care of the kids if he kills you? They’ll put them in foster care, where they’ll be abused by the male.”

Samantha shuddered at this. It was life or death. That night of the crisis she flew with every fiber of her being to get out of that house. She called her sister to let her know she was coming – it was now about 3am so if she took but one break for coffee & donuts she could be there by 7am & so she was.

She saw Sam’s death in the local paper. It was on the News. People in their town were shocked, everyone babbled at the General store,

“We didn’t know Sam loved Sam – he was such a bastard.”

 

Samantha was now heir to their house. The real estate lady got an offer for $8k but 2k would go for new windows. It was good enough for Sam, the most money she ever had. The truck could have brought 1k, but in the condition Joseph left it, it was towed to the junk yard. And so Sam began her new life with what to her was a fortune.

It is also peculiar that Joseph, who loved her so much he spent about 3k on her that year, also deprived her of it by the damage he had done. {He went back to his humdrum life when she had disappeared, like the errant suiter of the beautiful married lady in ‘The Cherry Orchard” by Anton Chekhov.}

 

She settled in with her kids & June. June had three little ones also & a good husband – just a regular guy. There were four bedrooms, two downstairs, two upstairs. They let Sam have one bedroom for herself & the one-year old, while the other bedroom had the eight & ten year olds. Upstairs the husband & wife shared a room with their two year old in a crib, & their six & eight year olds had the other room.

Things worked out perfectly for the sisters financially, emotionally & practically. Samantha got social security death benefits – a check & monthly stipend. It was about $1,200. Now if a female lived alone with three kids this would be poverty. But here, with June, she didn’t have to pay rent, taxes, electric, propane gas & the like. This sum made her feel rich as she could use it for food, clothing & necessities, even tiny luxuries. She no longer felt insecure, or afraid, & that was priceless.

          June benefited equally well. She’d had two years of college; she worked as a receptionist in a large firm & liked it. But she met a man – they fell in love – & when she had kids – no more work.

          It wasn’t the money – they had enough as Ron’s job paid well – it was being stuck in a house with no connection with the outside world.

          At first, she had tried baby sitters but they all turned out unsatisfactory, she stopped looking for work.  

She had seen too much negative stuff on TV & from friends of children being harmed by baby sitters.  There was the twenty three year old female who took on a four year old female & six year old boy. She had a job at a fast-food place; she’d leave the kids with her boyfriend, who was sodomizing the son.

        The sis tried to help the bro but was kicked away. Eventually he had to have surgery on his intestines to fix the damage.

        Then there was the teenage male baby sitter – not abusive but neglectful – watching a five year old boy.  Filled the tub with water, let him bathe himself while he watched TV, the boy drowned.

        Females were not to be trusted either.  There was the nineteen year old Au Pair from Sweden who lit the fireplace, embers fell on the rug, fire started, she ran out of the house while the infant burned to death.  The parents tried to hold her accountable but the court let her go.  She was greeted by a parade in Sweden with her Dad, the FIRE CHIEF leading the crowd.

        She heard of many other cases, enough to make her stay home.

        A wise woman said that in the days of Matriarchy, women banded together in families.  Each knew the other intimately, if they had virtues or faults, if they could be relied upon or not.  But in a man-run world, women were separated, isolated, far apart, they didn’t know each other.  They weren’t families any more, they were strangers.  And so, reaching out to another woman for help did not mean the awareness of who she was or the loyalty that comes with blood.  You could put your hand out to one mentally ill, who appears sane.  You could find one unreliable like the girl who left the kids with her boyfriend.  All kinds of maladies & defects are in humankind & you don’t know if you’re hiring one of these for your children.

          When Samantha came, she took over the care of all the children, & she kept the house spotless & did most of the cooking. June knew she could trust her & she applied at her old job & got it.

          She went on a bit of a diet as she had gained twenty pounds. Bought a new wardrobe of beautiful dresses & business suits, high heels, fixed her hair & makeup, & put her best foot forward to the public. Doing this made her feel like a ‘lady’ again, to be admired & respected, not a frumpy, frazzled housewife always complaining what the kids had done or not done. In fact, Ron was tired of her endless patter of what the kids did.

         

Not only that, she had extra money & that didn’t hurt. She also had benefits – health insurance & a 401K savings plan.

          Samantha had good instincts. She knew what kids needed & she held both babies as much as she could, they needed rocking & close physical contact, & she also hugged a lot & spoke kindly to them & encouraged them in constructive activities. If they erred she corrected them gently not to frighten them.

          She also knew that couples needed privacy. Saturday weather permitting Ron played golf. It was good exercise for him & a sort of therapy. She & June took that day to kibitz, catch up, all the gossip women love.

          But Sunday Sam made herself scarce. She let June & Ron watch TV by themselves, she got a TV for her own room & set up games for the kids in their rooms or sometimes all together with her. She had a hot plate for coffee or quick snacks & a tiny fridge in the room. In summer she spent much of Sunday in the back yard with the kids. If June & Sam wanted to be there then she’d use the living room or her room – she understood the value of privacy. No matter how much she & June liked each other, she had to be alone with her husband – just her & him. Two is a couple, three is a crowd, & Sam wanted their arrangement to last, not to get broken for people stepping on each other’s toes.

 

         June & Ron were also free now to take tiny weekend vacations out of town & relax in luxury hotels.  Life got brighter.

Ron was planning to improve the back yard for the now six children, including swings, a slide, a merry-go-round, a sand pit & a baby pool.  He also said he’d get a barbeque out there. 

        Life was enhanced when the sisters united.

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Copyrighted Rasa Von Werder 2023, all rights reserved. This is part of the book ‘Church of Women’

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