College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized
William Bond Issues of Matriarchy
William Bond Discusses Matriarchy
with Rasa Von Werder & Friends
From William:
There is something I do wonder Rasa, and that is, are women frightened of men? I agree many women secretly think they are superior to men but women won’t challenge the status quo and is it because of fear? Men are obviously bigger stronger and more violent than women and so do women think that if they challenge men’s power, men will turn on them. This might be why feminist say meekly, “we only want equality”.
So I do wonder if it is women’s fear of men, is the barrier of women coming together to take power. If that is the case how do we reassure women that it is possible for women to take power away from patriarchal men and rule the world?
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Hi William,
That’s a great question & I think you know the answer, but it needs to be said.
Women are afraid of more than violence. They fear OSTRACISM, which in cults like the Amish & Hutterites is called SHUNNING.
Patriarchy has RULES, & when we women break them, we are deprived of things men & Patriarchy can give us – deprived of help, services, a good place in society, a good mate or good friends – all the things a commonwealth offers.
When we break the rules we are shunned by women as well as men – because women who side with us get treated like us, get shamed or criticized or ridiculed. People turn their backs on us, ignore us, refuse to invite us to parties, dinners or events, when we are ‘outside the patriarchy’ or we are marginalized, ‘outsiders.’
A great example of this in nature is a little fawn {deer} is being chased by a lion. A big herd of Wildebeasts is near, she runs to them to seek shelter. But the Wildebeasts don’t want the lion in their midst, they push the little fawn out & sacrifice her.
This is what happens when we women ‘raise our heads’ against Patriarchs. They are the Lion who wants to devour us when we break the rules – destroy us. And so other women don’t wants this Lion of Wrath to come after them. And so the traitor women like those we spoke about lately, repudiate those women who seek Matriarchy, women dominating the family & the world. They kow tow to the Patriarchs to make points & keep their own privileges & safety.
I am one of those women who are treated badly by society. My profession is a mark against me. But being single is another bad mark. When we were girls we had great sisterhood. By the time college is over or college age – women are supposed to pair up, then they are friends only with other couples. {Men however can be friends with men like men’s clubs or men’s activities, but for women this is a no-no. It does happen but not as much. The husbands have fits when women want ‘girls night out.’} The single women become outcasts unless they form groups like lesbians. This is because a single woman will EMPOWER the married woman & this is not allowed. So I am no longer invited to dinners, parties or events by my neighbors or people I know, because I am single. When my husband Richard was with me, people were much friendlier.
Single men, however, are welcomed everywhere, because they empower the man. This is permitted.
Loss of societies services is no joke – survival or an easier life can depend on it. Being alone, without friends, can make life much harder. Friends help. You know how people in the old days did ‘barn raising’ or gathered to rebuild a house when it burned down? This happens only to those who are valid members of this society, not to those who are hated or marginalized or outcasts. Outcasts don’t get any favors.
One more factor. Women are competitive to each other & would rather hurt a sister than help her. This is so wrong for Sisterhood. It’s the ‘slave mentality.’ They are slaves of patriarchy, so they must seek what it gives & in order to get ahead, they will walk on the injured body of their sister. They will hurt the sister who has what she wants, they will lie, cheat & steal to get what she has – the way women steal men from another when that man has money. I have seen that sickening policy. The way out of this is being noble, charitable, self sacrificing, but few people are like that.
Those are the basics. …………….. Rasa
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William,
Also, it’s a matter of economic survival. Survival is the first need, so it’s easier to play along with them than buck the system.
It’s rough going to get a thing started. I believe my Sisterhood will work because I will leave them the funds to get it started – even keep it going forever as I will not allow them to use up the principle of what I leave – only the earnings {that’s my plan}. I will encourage them to be frugal as well as self-sufficient like in homesteads, farms & also earn money themselves in various ways, even being in the regular society {but they will always home a home, a Sisterhood to return to if anything goes wrong like getting fired}. If they have economic security from a Sisterhood, & they are not dependent on men financially, they might accept that & the ideas we purport.
No one wants to be homeless or live in the kind of poverty that is hurtful.
I mentioned that in the old days maybe even now in country areas – neighbors would get together for ‘barn raising’ or rebuilding a burned down house. It factors into a single woman’s life like this {my life}. Recently there was a snowstorm that caused great damage, many trees & huge branches falling on houses, cars & yards – much devastation.
I ran into a man who had a room in his house caved in from a tree & within one week it’s been rebuilt. How? He told me he had all kinds of friends like construction workers, electricians & handymen. They all got together.
Meanwhile, the huge branches that fell in my driveway & yard, crashed the back window in my car, have been sitting in my driveway & behind it for 2 weeks. I have no friends to call for help. Yes I do have one handyman & will await his coming to clean this up.
I sit here in this house with NO FRIENDS to call upon in emergencies because I am outside the grace of patriarchy, marginalized, ostracized, a single woman who was in the adult trade – persona non grata.
When I need help I must look at the paper & that is where the highest priced services are, as well as the con men & thieves. I have been conned & even physically robbed by such people. So I am at their mercy. But those who have friends get a break. ….. Rasa
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from Steve Andrews:
Yes, William, I am well aware how insane the way patriarchal religions, as well as cults, control followers. The really sad thing is that control relies on fear and belief. Humans will easily believe the most insane nonsense and without any evidence, unlike other species. It is what makes us different from the great apes. They will not understand or believe any madness humans share. It has to do with our belief in symbols too. Symbols can be given good or bad meanings to humans but to other animals they are meaningless. The meaning of a human symbol depends on the culture using it. Money works this way. It is a symbol of value, a value that has been decided on and that others within the culture using it believe in.
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From William Bond:
I personally know people who have been ostracized Steve. Years ago I was friends with a Jewish woman. She married a Christian and because of this, her family did a ritual and morn her as if she had died. This was because none of them were allowed to contact her again, so she had ‘died’ to them. In my wife’s family she had a aunt who had a child when she wasn’t married and her parents wouldn’t have anything to do with her, because she had ‘shamed’ them.
In Islamic countries it gets even worse where they have an ‘honour’ system. Where a man can be ‘dishonoured’ if he wife, mother or sister, breaks the rules. So the only way he can regain his ‘honour’ is to kill his female relation. So some men are forced by this system to kill their wives, sisters and even mothers. This demonstrates how insane patriarchy can become. …..William
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wabond@rocketmail.com> wrote:
From what you say Rasa, it seems patriarchy has been successful in undermining the sisterhood. So that women are forced to look to men for help and support rather than other women. This is why feminism cannot work because men are by nature far more competitive than women and compete against each other for wealth and power and have no interest in equality. Unfortunately men also compete against women for wealth and power.
This is the weakness of feminism, if women only want equality between women and men, women have to compete against men for wealth and power as individuals. Whereas, if we see it as a straight fight between men and women for wealth and power, then it makes more sense for women to form a sisterhood to achieve this. It might be why the feminist slogan, “the sisterhood is powerful” hasn’t worked out as feminism restricts it. For the sisterhood to be powerful, women have to forget all ideals about equality and use it just to gain wealth and power for themselves and win the battle of the sexes. ….. William
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From Rasa to William & Friends:
This is a KEY pivotal issue & you said it straight out: “ it seems patriarchy has been successful in undermining the sisterhood. So that women are forced to look to men for help and support rather than other women.”
This is what happens to women. No woman will help her because it is FORBIDDEN. It’s not written down, but it’s an ABNORMAL thing for women to ‘care’ about other women. How can I explain it? I will need the help of Mother God. But this is SO IMPORTANT that we MUST explain it in our Matriarchy thesis – Why we are having trouble getting it going – what Patriarchy does to BLOCK it.
OK I took a break & Mother God said this:
“They want to keep women IN POVERTY.”
Understand poverty in the broadest sense, the OPPOSITE of PROSPERITY. Then what is prosperity? The great teacher Catherine Ponder said this, that prosperity is on all levels, not only financial. There is spiritual, emotional, mental, physical & financial prosperity.
I understand how I was kept poor by my family, through abuse – have documented in detail how I was kept working but with no thanks, allowance or privileges. I was a slave. Was I 3/5 of a person as the African slaves were declared?
{Article one, section two of the Constitution of the United States declared that any person who was not free would be counted as three-fifths of a free individual for the purposes of determining congressional representation. The “Three-Fifths Clause” thus increased the political power of slaveholding states.}
How was this done? Of course it was ‘abuse’ but what forms did it take?
If Mom & her accomplices said it in words, it would have been,
“You have no value”
“You are tainted”
“You don’t deserve love”
“Your job is to work”
“You aren’t allowed pleasure”
“You’re not to have comfort”
“No recognition for you”
“You’re {God forbid} not to be praised!”
“Since you have no value, you deserve no recompense in any way for your labor. You are to work without reward or recognition or thanks” {This helped me later to do my missionary work such as female body building, as I got no rewards, no money or thanks, & later, repudiation, so I was prepared. A person not used to this would fold up, give up & go away.}
“There is nothing to redeem you, no matter what you do, we are not pleased. It is impossible for you to ‘work your way up’ to our favor, you are doomed. If you accomplish great things, these will be repudiated, shrugged off & dismissed.”
Note: the spirit of my Mother lives on in some members of my family. And it is exactly what I said. And this is how I compare such abuse to Patriarchy, declaring women second class, undeserving, no matter what they do – they are still second class! To enforce this position men take effort. They ERASE the good works & accomplishments of women, when poor women dare raise their heads & do remarkable things. Since men WRITE THE HISTORY, give the awards {Nobel Peace Prize} they give the kudos to THEMSELVES, it’s almost impossible for a woman to get recognition – because recognition is given in magazines owned by men, in book publishing companies owned by men, in Universities owned & operated by men, & various other venues owned or controlled by men.
Then there’s ‘Man Made Language’ explained by Dale Spender. They write the words & definitions, they own the dictionaries & Encyclopedias! And so, the words pertaining to women are put-down words.
John Lennon said ‘Woman are the Niggers of this world.’ If you are black – until recently – you were doomed. You were ‘untouchable’ in caste. No matter what you did, you were still black & many despised you, looked down on you, discriminated against you, & paid you less for your labor. People did injury to you with impunity. You had less RIGHTS in a court of law, were judged & condemned more quickly & easily than whites.
(I might add here that women are also discriminated against by the political Patriarchal judicial justice system.)
I also need to address how the writings of William Bond & myself DIFFER from the Academics. We are GRASS ROOTS, they look upon non-academics or those in alternative lifestyles or DIFFERENT cultures as subjects or guinea pigs TO BE STUDIED. They see “us” as SEPARATE from themselves, they being above, looking down at us – our voice is not as important as theirs, we have no right to tell our story as we don’t have their ‘mental capacity’ or understanding & who we are, what we are, why we do what we do must be explained BY THEM, NOT BY US! They EXPLAIN US to the ‘rest of the world’ & the world must believe them, they don’t want to hear us speak!
words for grass-roots, laboring class, middle-class, ordinary people, proletariat, rank-and-file, the masses, wage-earners, working-class, working people, middle America, common people.)
But let me get to the point of why women don’t help women – why there’s no SISTERHOOD.
When sisters bend down to fallen sisters to lend a helping hand, this is frowned upon by Patriarchs because to alleviate the POVERTY of a woman is to EMPOWER her or make her less vulnerable for men to exploit.
As already explained, the purpose of Patriarchy is the DISEMPOWERMENT of women or to KEEP them in POVERTY {remember poverty in the broad sense of the word, not only financial!} To give comfort, praise, to magnify a woman gives her COURAGE & inspiration! Gives her the Power to be independent – strong – Men don’t want that.
And so female heroes – Heras – were in short supply prior to the women’s movement.
William, Pete, there is much work to be done. Building a new house might be easier then rebuilding an old one. This old house of patriarchy is so deeply flawed, to attend to all its flaws will take many lifetimes. { Steve is working on some of that – what they’ve done to ecology – a whole ‘nother subject – just part of their destruction. There is also the animal rights movement on top of that. To undo its damage, great sacrifice.}
That is why in the New Religion for women I tell them to WALK AWAY from the old house, disregard them, their ideas, agenda, rules, laws & culture, & just begin from the beginning – our own hearts & minds, upon which is written all we need to know. What starting points we need we can get from the past, we don’t need males at the helm. It’s time to BUILD OUR OWN HOUSE.
Nevertheless, those who are repairing the damage men have done are legit. It needs to be done like factory farming has to end – specie-ism is a sin, filthy nuclear reactors & weapons have to be dismantled – Governments will be rebuilt.
None of this can or will happen until WOMEN ARE EMPOWERED. Until women support one another, men will rule. Until women respect themselves, men will rule. The women have to somehow, somewhere, some day, break this spell men have got them under & rise up to Mother God, look at her, see her, rely on her Power, trust her judgment, believe in her & know she is with us, inside us, guiding the way. Women must forget the world’s allure, as Satan said to Jesus,
“I will give you all the kingdoms of the world & their glory if you will bow down & worship me.”
When we fear the world & covet its rewards or glories, we take our eyes off God – Who is the Creator, enabler & One we must love. We believe in & love Satan if we believe the world will give us what we want.
The world is a TEMPORARY solution; it’s here today, gone tomorrow. Take our minds off the world & look to all that God embodies – Truth, Justice, & Love. The basic principles never change – Love they neighbor as thyself & Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. This is the opposite of Patriarchy, who says do to them before they do to you. There is no other way to liberty & happiness on our planet except matriarchy. And matriarchy cannot happen by the will of men, it has to be women. And indeed, men can help, but this help is given as helpmates, not ‘equals’ or ‘dominators.’
That’s it in a nutshell, women must help other women, respect & love them, for Matriarchy to occur. Otherwise what we have here is a continuation of NUTS-HELL.
Friends, I’m not done with this. I will add a part called ‘Personal Experiences’ of where I reached out to women in my area & how the men reacted. Three were married couples, 3 were friends. There were FIREWORKS when I influenced them toward empowerment. I was unable to stay friends with any of them as the husbands / bf’s went wild. One said I’d no longer be welcome if I talked that way – the others told their wives to end our friendships. And one just wanted to talk to my husband & have his wife & me as an audience, when we started our own conversation he cut it short by interjecting. That is another subject I must cover – how men interfere when women try to talk to each other in public. They think it’s their sacred right to butt in. They have done this to me a hundred times.
College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized
4 Movies & NY Law Journal on Rasa
4-23-22 Rasa Life Story Movie Prediction
Lawsuit against Morton Downey Jr. front page New York Law Journal
I’m at a movie theater with a female to my right. We’ve been watching this movie in color, & it’s about Bruce Springsteen. After a while I exclaim,
“This is the FOURTH TIME he’s doing this song!”
*** (BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN has been chosen to symbolize me, lol. Why? Because he toured coast to coast for many years, an entertainer. But one more quirky similarity I just recalled. Freehold, N.J. He is from around there, & I lived near there for 7 years of my young life! We just put in Wikipedia ‘on a farm near Freehold, NJ!
But the BIG REVELATION here is FOURTH TIME! I’ve been praying to God many times – will this be one movie or a series? Because I channeled a dozen souls, all of them keep repeating “You will make big money from this.” I sense REALLY BIG but they don’t tell me how much. I keep asking, will there be one movie or a series? And nobody so far has answered, but this dream does.) ***
I see a lot of color on the screen, like saturated shades of dull red, brown dark colors, the images & colors blend together, like no separation. He’s on stage with his men, someone playing drums, this & that instruments, all on stage. But like, my God, the same song four times!
*** (DARK COLORS, RED, BROWN: These colors represent suffering. This has been my life, lots of pain.) ***
My lady friend & I both know, somehow, that Bruce is in the house, to the right of us, back a ways, sitting against the wall. Since he’s the subject of this movie plus he’s a celebrity, there’s reason to want to meet him.
I tell my friend, let’s go speak to him, but she is reluctant, so I tell her,
“I’m going, even if you don’t.
So I head in his direction. By way of a joke, I say,
“It’s a crazed fan”
as I approach.
He’s sitting, surprisingly, all alone with just one female in the seat behind him – who is affiliated with him. No one is mobbing him, maybe he’s incognito, somehow disguised or didn’t tell anyone he’d be here so all the seats to his right & left & in front are empty.
The female behind him is young, pleasingly plump, & for some reason, as I approach, she takes a layer of her clothing, white, pulls it up partially covering her face. It’s like saying “Oh my God” or “Wow.”
*** (WHY IS HE ALONE? Except for one female behind him etc: The behavior of the female is tricky, but I discern this is a hint that the person approaching is God, & there’s a saying that God is so imposing / overwhelming that people might cover their faces at her approach – the Light of God is so Bright it frightens people. {I have heard in writings that when a bad sinner faces God at the immediate judgment the sight of her is so frightening that they ask to be removed & sent to Hell – Because God to them is not a friend, but a judge. They stand condemned. Of course one who is filthy with sin, even thought they are saved, might also want to get to Purgatory fast & get cleaned up.}
This then tells us that the dreamer is my God Self, while Bruce is my flesh & there is something amazing in this that God kneels to my flesh. It shows incredible intimacy with God – that we are One.
Why is he ALONE? This might be a hint that there is no one like him, as ‘birds of a feather stick together’ & if one has no birds of like feather, no one sticks to them. But this might give the hint why the movie is being made – individuality – there is no one else like this.
Who then however is affiliated with Bruce – me? The only human I can think of that’s been behind me all my life is Our Holy Mother – & this is strange that she should be startled by my God Self, but it’s just a symbol.
Calling myself, the God Self of Rasa, a ‘crazed fan’ as a joke means what?
I think it’s an analogy that I have been ‘a crazed fan’ of God & now God is my ‘crazed fan.’ It’s a reflection of each other. There is no difference, so to speak, when one enters Nonduality.
And in this kneeling, God shows to me that She acts toward me the way I have acted toward her – we are the same.) ***
OK so now I KNEEL right in front of Bruce like putting my head into his lap & quickly assure him,
“You KNOW ME, we spent FOUR HOURS speaking to each other one time.”
And so he is assured it’s not just some random stranger or someone out to do him harm.
My kneeling there, we are extremely close & affectionate, like if you had a pet in your lap.
*** (FOUR HOURS TOGETHER! Again the number 4 is saying there will be FOUR MOVIES.
And again, these are but symbols, not to all be taken literally. “I Strip for God” & God acknowledges me the same way.) ***
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publication: Aha, the New York Law Journal re my lawsuit against Morton Downey Jr – front page!
The New York Law Journal Friday Sept. 22, 1989 Front Page
TV Station Faces Libel Trial Over Downey Show
by Alan Kohn
After the judge completed his analysis of libel law, public and private figures, and New Jersey’s law on assault and battery, one fact remained: WWOR-TV must defend itself against a suit by Kellie Everts, a self-proclaimed “stripper for God.”
Ms. Everts has sued Morton Downey Jr. and numerous persons associated with his former television show and WWOR-TV Channel 9 over her treatment when she appeared as a guest along with another stripper, a belly dancer and some male strippers on a program that was videotaped Oct. 26, 1988, and telecast Nov. 4.
In his decision in Everts v. Downey in Kings Count, Supreme Court, IA 17, Justice Elliott Golden, after viewing a videotape of the telecast, noted that at the conclusion of the program, Mr. Downey had loosed a “barrage of invectives” against the plaintiff, among which were “slut” and “pig.”
Among the names he called her during the program was a fat bitch”. During the “entire program,” Justice Golden stated, Mr. Downey “singled out plaintiff for his vituperation and abuse, apparently for plaintiff’s claim that she was a “stripper for God.”
Mr. Downey’s remarks plus allegations of assault and battery, are the basis of Ms. Everts’s suit. The record did not show, the justice stated, whether anyone other than WWOR-TV had been served, so that he was only dealing with the television station’s motion to dismiss, which he denied.
In his analysis, the justice, after examining case law, stated the decisions led to a “powerful syllogism. A defamation is actionable only if it is false. Opinions cannot be false. Therefore, opinions can never be actionable, even if defamatory.”
Mr. Downey’s “defamatory language,” the justice continued, could be divided into “separate segments: the statements and charges he uttered during the entire show and the “barrage” at the conclusion.
Thus, calling Ms. Everts a “fat bitch” during the program, the judge ruled, fell into the category of statements described as “mere opprobriums which are tolerated on the theory that it will be understood to amount to nothing more than vulgar name-calling.”
Circumstances Weighed
Mr. Downey’s charge that the plaintiff “must be on drugs or is diseased,” Justice Goldin found, “must be considered in view of the circumstances in which those statements were made. In each instance, the remark was predicated by Downey’s alluding to plaintiff’s assertion that she had a vision from the “Blessed Mother” that she should no longer engage in sexual activity.
“These statements come under the general principle that statements of underlying fact provide the context in which an opinion maybe be understood to be an opinion.”
A “more serious question” was presented with respect to “defamatory statements” directed at Ms. Everts at the program’s end, particularly when during the entire program Downey singled out plaintiff for his vituperation and abuse, apparently for plaintiff’s claim that she was a “stripper for God”, the justice found.
After finding Ms. Everts was a public figure the justice stated this did not preclude her from recovering for the “libelous conduct of Downey” but declared she must prove malice. A finding that WWOR-TV “SHOULD HAVE HAD SOME SERIOUS DOUBT AS TO THE TRUTH OF Downey’s statements may circumstantially be made,” Justice Golden found.
“Thus, the records shows that there was about a nine-day period between the original live show, which was videotaped, and the telecast – ample time for defendant to have reviewed this tape. This factor becomes relevant when considered in light of defendant’s concession that Downey was known for his loud, combative and provocative style.”
Salaciousness?
As a matter of fact, a review of the tape shows that Downey’s performance was more than just loud, combative and provocative but in certain segments of the program, outright salacious…Downey directed his venomous and oft-time degrading language at plaintiff, although another stripper and a belly dancer were co-guests on the program.
“All of this should have alerted defendant to the concrete possibility of damaging defamatory statements for which it could be held liable. Suffice it to say there are circumstances here for a jury to ponder and weight to determine if, or to what extent, the defendant showed actual malice in the presentation of this program, in addition to the other issues herein.”
One of the other issues, Justice Golden stated, was WWOR-TV’s claim that even if the statements at issue were found to be defamatory statements of fact, the complaint still should be dismissed for failure to plead special damages.
The justice rejected the claim, holding the defamatory meaning was “apparent from the statements themselves. They are statements that held plaintiff up to public contempt, ridicule, aversion and disgrace.
“Extrinsic facts are unnecessary to explain their defamatory meaning necessary in libel per quod and therefore, there is no need to plaintiff to allege special damages.”
Ms. Everts was represented by Jack B. Solerwitz, Mineola, L.I. WWOR-TV’s lawyers were Laurence Greenwald and William A. Rome, of Stroock & Stroock & Lavan.
The decision of the judge not to dismiss this case is long – appears on pg 25, 3rd column, & goes on for many pages, citing the assault and battery {he knocked Kellie Everts down into her chair} and other defamations uttered by Morton Downey Jr. – It is probably about 10 pages typed.
College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized
Male Models aka Gigolos
Male & Female Models 4-9-22
Above & below in the red dress is how I looked during the filming of these guys
Over the years I photographed many male & female models. This started in the mid 80’s, when I began to interview other performers & took photos – in the Times Square, NY area. Then I started my business, ‘World Video Marketing’ in 1987 & eventually produced many images & videos, which were featured in magazines like ‘Hustler Erotic Video’ & ‘Gent,’ & underground publications.
I changed gears in 2012, long after I quit the business, when I turned my attention exclusively to male models – just for fun – I never sold a single one – didn’t try. This hobby was part of obedience to God who told me to quit celibacy, go out & ‘have fun” or I would be “outside the Will of God.”
I have anecdotes about males & females; many stayed in my house as I’m in the middle of a wilderness – & that’s where trouble starts.
You see people at work, you don’t really know them. They arrive, do their thing – you usually have surface conversations – how are you? Fine. No problems are shared, no stories told, how can you make observations when people are on guard & putting on the ‘I am a good boy or girl’ act? They never take off their shoes or clothes or remove the ladies & gentlemen masks. You never see them under the same roof for a week end – that’s when the horse of another color comes out, good or bad.
So here’s how it goes: Most of the persons who stayed with me for days or even a week, I have bad anecdotes from. Why is that? I don’t know, human nature I guess. The models & actors who arrived, worked, & left at the end of the day I have little or nothing bad to say about – because the opportunity for shyt didn’t occur.
Now you have really strangers under the same roof with you & things come out that were not expected. For one thing, you & most models are at cross purposes, the classic employer, employee conflict. The models want as much money as they can get & do as little as possible. The employer wants as much work as she can get but not over pay. You both want the opposite.
I don’t know how other photographers work, but I was a bit of a ‘slave driver.’ Because I worked so hard, I expected a lot. We would work – those who stayed more than one day – starting say 10 or 11 AM, for several hours. I always fed them or let them feed themselves from my food. Some of them cooked.
Around 2 or 3 I’d ask the model to rest – go to the guest room, take a nap, rest 2 hours. I wanted them to look & feel fresh. Many of them would sleep while I worked. The producer, myself has to do everything. I made the sets, uploaded the images, if working outdoors I sometimes had to get equipment like ladders, reflectors, trim vegetation, lop branches from trees, clean up a background. Usually these people did not help – mostly because they didn’t know what to do.
The male & female experience of course was way different. With the females my mind was on their beauty & making money from the videos. I had to coach them how to act – as we were dominant Goddesses – most of the ladies didn’t know how to act dominant. The ones I got local, none of them knew one iota how to act, wrestle, fight, or dominate men. They kept laughing, giggling, as it was so weird & embarrassing to them. It took a while to show them again & again how to be dominant, how to stand, tell off a guy, stop smiling & laughing, be neutral & tell him what to do. Or else be cruel & nasty. This is not normal behavior for women.
Myself, by now I was so good at dominating – having started way different. As a child I was Shirley Temple or ‘Pollyanna’, as a young adult I was Debbie Reynolds as ‘Tammy.’ Then in show biz my personality was Marilyn Monroe, & wow, did I have to make a transition! But make it I did & one time, when demonstrating to a female how to dominate a guy wrestling he was so startled he said,
“Wow, I never want to see you drunk!”
Some of my female model/porn stars had been abused as children, & so, they had PTSD. Now, as I said, if a person comes to work some place & leaves at the end of the day, you don’t see any symptoms. Put them under your roof & things happen.
This beautiful female, dark haired & shapely had been abused as a 6 year old by her Mom’s boyfriends. She said her Mom ran ‘The boyfriend of the month club.’ When she complained to Mom, Mom got the guy, woke her up out of a sound sleep, & asked the guy did he abuse little Francine? Of course the creep said no & then Francine was super frightened.
I did not put 2 + 2 together at the time, why she only dated much younger guys – she was 35 all her bf’s were like under 25. I didn’t have time to figure out the psychology of the models or the fetish men I supplied. My special ed teacher friend Ruth told me,
“These people need a psychiatrist.”
I answered,
“I’m not here to figure out psychology, I’m just a movie producer.”
Later I figured she felt safer with young guys because she was abused by older ones. But at the time, I was too busy to think this out.
Anyway this female had two things going on that were bad. One, every single day she would have a fit & I had to shut down work for 2-3 hours. She would go off on the slightest thing – anything –at her young bf. He looked at her the wrong way, or didn’t show respect or this or that. She would rant, rave, vent, on & on. No work could be done.
The other bad thing is she did a lot of sex but never used condoms – I saw her half a dozen times & each time she had either just had an abortion or was going to have one. This will work on a woman’s mind & I think it drove her crazy. Her only complaint was not ‘Why don’t I use condoms?’ but ‘These evil guys, they aren’t paying for the abortions, what scum they are.’
The last time I saw her she went insane on me. All I said was,
“Don’t you think you’d have better luck if you dated older men?”
She started to scream so bad, so loud, I didn’t know what to do. It didn’t stop. I called a male friend of mine to try to calm her – it didn’t help. He said he’d never heard anything like it.
It went on & on for hours. I told her to pack her things & I’d take her to the bus. Good bye forever. The entire ride she was still ranting, I said not a word.
Same deal with another female – something was wrong with her Mom & they put her into foster care. There she was forced to give blow jobs to the Dad & other men. She eventually got on substances – booze & any drug she could get – on binges. When she was sober she was an angel but once the drink started if something ticked her off – she would drink whiskey right out of the bottle & fall flat on her face at the table. All work was stopped, I hid the bottle. She went crazy.
I learned my lesson. If a substance abuser goes on a kick, let them go. You can’t take their drug away. Let them do what they want to do, say good bye & good luck.
Later – weeks later – I spoke to her live in bf. He told me I should have called him to pick her up – she went on binges like that sporadically. When he’d try to drag her home, she’d be on the street screaming,
“He’s trying to rape me – help! Help!”
But I didn’t know all that then – this was the first time I dealt with a drug addict & had no clue what to do.
She demanded her pay – I owed her $900 – I gave it to her.
I called my neighbor to take her to the bus {I would give her $30}, a nice lady, she arrived, Tessie cursed her out – she would HITCH HIKE to the NEAREST BAR!
Cursing & screaming she took her duds & ran into the road & disappeared. I called her bf in NY to see if she arrived – weeks went by. I made out a ‘missing persons’ report with the police.
Finally, 3 weeks later – I was praying to speak to the bf – he never called me to let me know she had arrived – I knew he wouldn’t – let me just worry myself sick. But I prayed to catch him in so I could find out what was what, & I got him. He told me this:
When she left me she hitch hiked to a bar & got drunker & drunker. She then went to a motel where she had a fight with the manager & threw money into his face. The guy called the cops, she cursed them out, they arrested her.
When she got out she went to another bar, then another & another – got raped by a truck driver, as she was hitch hiking all over the place. She used up half her money on booze, the other half got stolen. She finally limped back to NYC, another binge concluded.
But she didn’t turn into an angel right away.
Next thing I know. The FBI is investigating me. She tells them I FORCED her to do illegal porno movies & it made her go crazy. The FBI shut down my mailing address in B’klyn – where I got my orders – luckily I had moved from there so it did not affect me.
But I was scared shitless & the stress of it made me sick. What if they shut down my business? I’d be PENNILESS – I had no means of support but this! I began to have anxiety attacks, sick to my stomach daily – went to many doctors but they could not figure it out. I finally went to the Mayo Clinic & they said it was a hiatal hernia & indigestion.
Then the FBI thought they would fool me & pretend to be distributors & asked me for samples of my videos {under a false name & address but I knew}. I sent them about a dozen. It was then they found out I was doing NOTHING ILLEGAL & dropped the case.
But this did NOT happen except by the Grace of God & I called upon the Lord like so:
These young gal pics are 1965, I was 20 – just starting out in Hollywood CA…Having done modeling, dancing, show biz young, I knew what I was doing – my career was a success. But punk boys thought I was ‘back in the day’ & my expertise didn’t apply to them – they knew more than I & would make it their own way. None of them succeeded & it’s been 5 years since I stopped messing with male models – enough time to prove themselves. Only one guy did listen to me – Kenneth Guidroz. I never met him but over a few times we spent 8 hours on the phone, mostly me explaining how things work. He made it to the top – became a poster boy for Ralph Lauren, his ‘Red’ perfume line. Of course, this was a smart guy, he did righteous things on his own as well as listening to me. His rapt attention to me proved he was willing to learn. One of the quips about youth is how it’s ‘wasted’ on the young. You feel like ripping your hair out when they insist on their ignorance & walk down the wrong road to nothingness.
Along with my then 5 dogs I climbed the highest mountain near me – it’s named after Our Bl. Virgin – it took me 1.5 hours to reach the top. There I stopped on this field that a hunter brush hogged every year {means he plowed all the bushes & weeds down}, looked at the sky & began to pray in a loud voice. My dogs all stopped in their tracks & made no move, no sound as I prayed. They knew something was happening.
I then, for 15 minutes, called on every maligned, mistreated victim of the law who ever lived, all political prisoners, all those who were framed, all those who were persecuted for the wrong reasons, all victims unfairly judged. I must have named 30 types of victims & I asked every last one of them – millions of them – to come to my rescue & get me out of this predicament & danger of losing all that I had {my business, house, bank account, everything.}
It was days later I had a dream & saw an FBI man go into the office of his Chief & tell him he saw my videos & nothing was illegal, & the Chief said,
“Then we’ll drop this unless there are any more complaints.”
And the day after that, my sickness went away. It was one year of agony. Oh the revengefulness of people! And I did nothing to this girl except take the whiskey bottle away!
There’s other anecdotes but I shall skip the girls now & turn to a guy to get my mind elsewhere. Not that there’s hope for the weary, it’s another dreadful case.
The Male Porno Star – Raul
That was the name he gave himself, although I don’t think he worked for any major outfit, not to my knowledge. Anyone who owns a camera can call himself a ‘porno star’ & he made hundreds of those.
Anyway, as explained elsewhere, in 2012 I got onto this model site on the internet – not knowing the ropes, not knowing half the guys were gay & made a living doing sex with men. And 40% of the other half were ‘gay for pay.’
When I was there there were no other women out of thousands of members, actively seeking male models & paying them. There were some women on board but you either worked for them for free or had to pay them. It’s amazing how valuable a vagina makes a person – A vagina & an ego.
So, like everyone else, I’m looking for the best looking guys with the biggest dicks. I’m trying to figure out how to handle this, & like all new ventures, it’s challenging & querulous. You learn by your mistakes. Here’s what I learned:
All the men who look for male models are gay, & 99% of them say ‘work for trade,’ which means for images. {The clickers make the same offer to women – it gets complicated. Many women take them up & then when the guys wants sex & they say no – no pictures. It happened to one model twice in a row.}
What I didn’t know is the big secret. They would work ‘for trade’ but get PAID FOR SEX.
And me, completely confused or should I say ignorant, offered money straight out & figured, like God said, I’m supposed to have fun, so if any of the guys wants to have sex they can ask me & I might do it. What could be simpler? Plenty.
What happened is we’re working, I might flirt a tiny bit or give a guy a kiss on the cheek, & he says,
“I have to get paid for that.”
Naturally, as a good looking woman {I have pics to prove how I looked—see my nude age 65 images}} I don’t expect guys to say that, so I’m hurt & figure I just got rejected. I can still recall the time a model said that to me, the pain I felt for a long time.
In retrospect I give myself this advice. I shall never go back there again, but some of you might. If you get in that position & want sex, give them the extra money. Make up some bullshyt like ‘I didn’t realize how good you were from the pics on the site – you’ll get more than I offered.” It’s only money, if you have it, spend it – don’t let your feelings get in the way.
Indeed my original intent was to HAVE FUN. But I’m also artistic & along the way learned photo shop & spent hundreds of hours perfecting the images. The creation of art was equally vital to copping sex.
And naturally, each case was different. One model wanted sex so much that I only got half my quota done. I learned my lesson on that. The see saw goes like: Lots of sex, less work. Lots of work, less sex. Which did I want? The sex has long been forgotten – only one time the guy was great in bed, the rest were not. But the pictures will live forever.
Like I said, some of the guys were gay or bi or gay for pay. Each case was different – be a wise girl & don’t get insulted or hurt, just do the work, if they want sex & you do – go for it. If you want sex, they want money increase their salary. If they want sex, you don’t? Not sure on that. That did happen a couple times; I procrastinated or just begged off. In fact one top model {a super handsome muscular Greek, looked like a statue} in the field was willing to drive 200 miles to have sex with me. He didn’t want to take pictures, just the sex! I can’t recall why I said no, maybe I was nervous. What if he was disappointed?
But I said all this to get to one story. I can’t give all the anecdotes in one day, let me just get to one whacko boy with an 11” dick – the porno star.
OK this guy looks wise was not perfect. But his dick was the biggest I had ever seen, & I had seen some big ones. He was for a model, attractive, but his skin was badly pock marked & had all kinds of scars – it ruined his beauty. I said to myself,
“I know how to get around a person’s faults. I’ll have him turn his face away or to the side, or have his upper body in a low light & feature his dick for most of the shots.” I just had to capture that dick!
His body I might add was also great.
So he shows up & we start to shoot. When it came to the ‘erotic’ shots, which means hardon, I got to suck on it. He didn’t mind & didn’t razz me about money or anything I figured, things will go well with him. Famous last words.
This first day he had brought grass with him & on the breaks was puffing away, so he was mellow. Maybe he had ecstasy or some other drug – I forget their names – they make you relax. He had asked me if he could bring his grass I said I’d rather he did not, but he brought it anyway, pretending it was there by mistake.
That night we started to have a ‘good time’ but his dick was so big we couldn’t get it in, no matter how much Vaseline I used, lol. I said to him my vagina seems to be ‘seized up’ like it won’t get loose maybe if he said sweet things, acted more romantic, it might help.
But he said,
“I can’t do that. I’m a porn star. My wife knows I’m a porn star & I have to fuck. That’s my job. But I can’t be romantic.”
So that ended that. I could suck on it for the pictures, but not get any romance out of this machine.
Here is something good that came out of using this guy. Up to this time I didn’t know how to use a feature of photo shop that corrects many mistakes. I forget what it’s called, but you can take a piece of flesh where it’s perfect, & clone it onto the spots that are imperfect, & you can make the face have no flaw whatsoever. I think that’s what it’s called – the CLONE TOOL. You can remove scars, acne, tattoos, dark under the eyes, moles – anything can be fixed & it’s not hard. I was now able to make his face beautiful.
Now I knew how to fix not only his face, but backgrounds. You can take a piece of anything & multiply it again & again, & clear out or fix or change the entire background. That came in handy many times, so he did me a favor by being flawed & forcing me to fix it.
OK the next day rolls around. I’m getting ready to take him to my apt/studio in town for different backgrounds. Can’t recall why we did nothing outside – maybe it was chilly or raining. I almost always took pics outside as I have exquisite backgrounds.
So now here’s the rub – he’s run out of grass or whatever made him mellow. And he gets a phone call from his wife & she might be pregnant, & last time she was pregnant she almost died or some shyt. So now he’s in a foul mood – I gave him his first day’s pay & he starts talking about more money.
I tell him we made a deal & that’s it – then he says he made no deal, he doesn’t know who was using his site. Sure – bullshyt.
His tone of voice gets more & more menacing & now he says the magic words,
“I have a temper.”
Now this guy is Latin & I know they use knives to stab people, & he’s like 25 years old, I’m a 65 year old woman in the wilderness with him. You think I feel safe now?
So I go upstairs & call the police. He knows something’s up, while I have them on the phone he comes up & stands near me by some excuse. I go quiet. The cop says is he there? I say yes. He says they’ll be over shortly.
And within about 20 mins two imposing officers arrive. We’ve met before – it’s a small town. They ask Raul what’s going on? He says,
“I’m a porn star & I told her I have to have more money.”
They say,
“We don’t care about that. We’re just here to insure this lady stays safe. Get your things & we’ll take you to the bus station.”
And so they did. The station was closed so he had to wait outside until morning. Served him right. Lucky for him it wasn’t winter, but it was like 50 degrees that night – he had a jacket.
He never even saw the pictures & how beautiful I made him. Half of them were in the classy GQ clothes I provided. No other photographer did him as much justice as I, made him look great. But most of these guys don’t appreciate anything, to be honest, just money, drugs & porn-style sex. They don’t have hearts.
So my warning to you if you become a lady photographer is get ready for the sort of mishaps I had – there were dozens more I shall explain. It might not be a smooth ride. {End Chapter 10}
College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized
Joe Tex, Jackie Wilson & Richard Pryor
Chapter 9 Joe Tex Jackie Wilson Richard Pryor 4-7-22
Thinking about these guys is so dreary, I procrastinated writing this. If they weren’t famous I wouldn’t. How can I get through these men as fast as possible? I’m typing a mile a minute, lol.
Joe Tex. I met him, like several other stars, at a place called ‘Mambo Maxie’s’ – a club I stumbled upon on my way from one of the go-go jobs 1967. I used to check in there often while going to & fro my job – it was always entertaining even the ones not famous. There I saw Etta James, Little Richard & this clown Joe Tex.
‘Mambo Maxie’ was a stout Jewish guy who always stood in front collecting a buck from each entrant. Sometimes he didn’t charge me. Don’t know his background, but it must have been in show biz, he seemed ‘the old carny’ type. He reminded me, personality wise, of Elvis’ manager Col. Parker – a fast talker. It wasn’t a big place so how could he afford these stars? Probably gave them a bunch of bullshyt about how much money they’d make ‘at the door’ or by percentage or whatever – the way con artists sometimes fooled me into thinking I’d make bread at the door – which you never do when they give you that offer {except once I did for 3 months & made a fortune, but I got over on this wise-guy Lebanese man & made him sign a contract where I checked the cash register every day}.
So I stumble into the club one day & Joe Tex is performing. I’m seating next to a lovely black lady, thin, elegant & we converse {I never saw another white person in the club, Mambo Maxie & I were the only two.}
Joe Tex has a great band, he’s a good performer, we’re impressed. We both decide to go meet him.
The minute we’re backstage together Joe goes crazy for my breasts. He orders the photo man to take pics of him kissing my chest – dozens of them. They are ridiculous poses, I don’t know how I consented, probably because I was overwhelmed at the moment by his fame & the performance & all that.
He never took one look at the attractive black lady – only babbled on & on about ‘your titties.’ {Yes, I was wearing a low-cut top, custom made, of a brocade velvet material, it was beautiful – Various colors of brown & light grey & brown custom-made bell-bottoms to match.}
The black lady, Rhonda, shakes her head & says
“He’s SIMPLE”,
meaning Simple Simon, known for his stupidity.
After 15 minutes of this ordeal, the photo man has processed a dozen stupid, embarrassing photos & Joe Tex disappears, not paying for a single one. I pay the guy, take them into the bathroom, tear them into hundreds of pieces & flush them down the toilet.
Who he was:
“He went on to have four million-selling hits, “Hold What You’ve Got” (1965), “Skinny Legs and All” (1967), “I Gotcha” (1972), and “Ain’t Gonna Bump No More (With No Big Fat Woman)” (1977).”
From Wikipedia:
Joe Tex was born Joseph Arrington, Jr. in Rogers, Texas, in Bell County to Joseph Arrington and Cherie Sue (Jackson) Arrington.
In early August, 1982, Tex was found at the bottom of a swimming pool at his home in Navasota, after which he was revived in hospital and sent home. Just a few days later, on August 13, 1982, five days after his 47th birthday, he died at GrimesMemorialHospital in Navasota, following a heart attack.
……………………………………………..
Next Creep: Jackie Wilson, from Wikipedia:
Jack Leroy Wilson Jr. (June 9, 1934 – January 21, 1984) was an American soul and rock and roll singer and performer. Wilson was a prominent figure in the transition of rhythm and blues into soul. He was considered a master showman and one of the most dynamic singers and performers in pop, R&B, and rock and roll history, earning the nickname “Mr. Excitement”.
“Lonely Teardrops“, which peaked at No. 7 on the pop charts, ranked No. 1 on the R&B charts in the U.S., and established Wilson as an R&B superstar known for his extraordinary, operatic multi-octave vocal range. Wilson’s “Lonely Teardrops” sold over one million copies.
Due to Wilson’s fervor when performing, with his dynamic dance moves, impassioned singing and fashion sense, he was nicknamed “Mr. Excitement”. His stagecraft in his live shows inspired James Brown, Teddy Pendergrass, Michael Jackson and Elvis Presley, as well as a host of other artists that followed. Presley was so impressed with Wilson that he made it a point to meet him.
Wilson’s powerful, electrifying live performances rarely failed to bring audiences to a state of frenzy. His live performances consisted of knee-drops, splits, spins, back-flips, one-footed across-the-floor slides, removing his tie and jacket and throwing them off the stage, basic boxing steps like advance and retreat shuffling, and one of his favorite routines, getting some of the less attractive women in the audience to come up to the stage and kiss him. Wilson often said “if I get the ugliest girl in the audience to come up and kiss me, they’ll all think they can have me and keep coming back and buying my records.”
Wilson scored hits as he entered the 1960s with the No. 15 “Doggin’ Around”, the No. 4 pop ballad “Night“, another million-seller, and “Baby Workout“, another Top 10 hit (No. 5)
On September 29, 1975, Wilson was one of the featured acts in Dick Clark‘s Good Ol’ Rock and Roll Revue, hosted by the Latin Casino in Cherry Hill, New Jersey. He was in the middle of singing “Lonely Teardrops” when he suffered a massive heart attack. On the words “My heart is crying” he collapsed on stage; audience members applauded as they initially thought it was part of the act. Clark sensed something was wrong, then ordered the musicians to stop the music. Cornell Gunter of the Coasters, who was backstage, noticed Wilson was not breathing. Gunter was able to resuscitate him and Wilson was then rushed to a nearby hospital.
Medical personnel worked to stabilize Wilson’s vital signs, but the lack of oxygen to his brain caused him to slip into a coma. He briefly recovered in early 1976, and was even able to take a few wobbly steps, but slipped back into a semi-comatose state.
Wilson died on January 21, 1984, at the age of 49 from complications of pneumonia. He was initially buried in an unmarked grave at WestlawnCemetery near Detroit. {Rasa says, later someone raised the bread to put him into a Mausoleum – WTF happened to all his money?
‘Nat Tarnopol had taken advantage of Wilson’s naïveté, mismanaging his money since becoming his manager. Tarnopol also had power of attorney over Wilson’s finances.’ This man was later found guilty of fraud & robbing Jackie Wilson of big money but by this time Wilson was in a coma….Rasa says – too bad the FAMILY didn’t sue this creep Tarnopol.}
Personal Life:
Wilson had a reputation for being short-tempered and promiscuous. In her autobiography, Patti LaBelle accused Wilson of sexually assaulting her backstage at a Brooklyn theater in the early 1960s.
On February 15, 1961, in Manhattan, Wilson was shot and seriously wounded by a woman named Juanita Jones. However, Jones was one of his girlfriends, and she shot him in a jealous rage after he returned to his Manhattan apartment with another woman, fashion model Harlean Harris, an ex-girlfriend of Sam Cooke. Wilson’s management supposedly concocted the story about her being a zealous fan to protect Wilson’s reputation. They claimed that Jones was an obsessed fan who had threatened to shoot herself, and that Wilson’s intervention resulted in his being shot. Wilson was shot in the stomach; the bullet resulted in the loss of a kidney, and lodged too close to his spine to be removed.
In March 1967, Wilson and his drummer, Jimmy Smith, were arrested in South Carolina on “morals charges”; the two were entertaining two 24-year-old white women in their motel room.
My Account:
I go to Vegas with my lady friend Marleena & her boyfriend {she was with me when I met O.C. Smith & also Otis Redding}, we go see Jackie’s show. We sit in the front row. He’s dynamic, great, all that they say he is.
Then, to my surprise, his valet comes over to our table after the show & says Jackie would like to meet me, could I go back stage? He was very polite, I went.
OK so it’s assumed we’re going to spend the night together. We go to the slot machines & he hands me a dollar. I put it in & out pops $56. Because he gave me the dollar, I offer it back to him & he takes it – every last bit. $56 in 1966 is $490 today! Wow – he was NOT a gentleman, he just took nearly $500 from me. The least he could have done, if he was short on money, was keep half & give me half, but no, he had to have every penny.
We walk into a lounge where the band sees him & strikes up “Baby Workout”. Can’t recall what happens there but next, we’re in his large hotel room sitting in bed.
We have done nothing – yet. The phone rings. It’s his WIFE! He didn’t tell me he had a wife, I am mortified! Someone must have called her – she’s probably in another state – & told her he went off with a woman, so she calls. He assures her HE’S ALL ALONE. She says she might just come over – he tells her be his guest. Of course, she doesn’t take a plane to Vegas to check it out.
After that I tell him I don’t feel like doing sex. First he robs me, then he doesn’t take me to dinner – now this – the final straw. He says that’s fine – he DOESN’T CARE. Bullcrap, but good work, I don’t have to put out. He did not appeal to me sex wise. Had he been a decent fellow I would have done it, but he wasn’t.
OK the last time I saw him is so ironic. He was on the stage on the floor, in some obscure club in Watts –I’m the only white person there. It’s his antic of asking women to come up & kiss him, so after a few other girls do it, I go up also – actually not up as the stage is level with the audience – & the bastard just stares at me & says no, he won’t kiss me. It has nothing to do with anything but this: black men, when black women are around, – are scared shitless to show attention to a whitey. It’s all it was. He would suffer their wrath if he kissed me.
The exact same thing happened to me with Muhammad Ali. I was at a show with major stars & he was one of them. A bunch of people stood around him to say hi after the show. I was last in line, began to talk to him. And there, from the surroundings, black women began to razz him,
“Ali, Ali,”
which meant,
“You’re not supposed to get chummy with white women,”
and he walked away.
But as we all know it’s the opposite when black women aren’t around. James Brown once told me,
“When I said bring a girl friend I meant bring a WHITE GIRL.”
And he lied to my black best friend – Ginger. He told her he usually didn’t date white women, but I was different. The truth is every time he was in town he dated only white women – one I saw was a hostess from a restaurant. He offered $3,500 for sex with a movie star –beautiful blonde Diane McBain. {She starred in Spinout with Elvis, 1966 } That hurt me as it made it seem he valued her way more than me. Diane did not even take him up on it. {His valet told me about it.}
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Creepy Richard Pryor
Might as well tell the story of the next creep while I’m on a roll.
I met a few famous people at this club I visited – Maverick’s Flats in LA – quite a place.
One night Richard Pryor, the comedian, is there. I don’t know if he did a show or not but he was off by a wall surrounded by people. I sat there & listened to his repartee & at the close of the night he asked me out. Yes, I was flirting with him but so were a dozen other females {all black.}
At that time I had a lovely house rented at 1860 Heather Ct, Beverly Hills, off Heather Rd off Coldwater Canyon Drive. I was driving my white Corvette & he a new Caddy – so he followed me.
We got into bed, I told him let’s skip the sex for now, I’m tired. He snoozed off without complaint.
In the morning I was going to make him a sumptuous breakfast, & had he been nice to me, I might have done sex.
So I get up, go to the kitchen & start putzing around, & there, I see out the window, he’s gone off without saying goodbye, got into his car & just took off. No class.
Strangely, & to his benefit, years later, he appears to me as a client in Purgatory & I help him ascend into Heaven! Can’t recall the details & dates – it’s all written down somewhere, but where?
Richard Pryor explained on Wikipedia
Richard Franklin Lennox Thomas Pryor Sr. (December 1, 1940 – December 10, 2005) was an American stand-up comedian and actor. He reached a broad audience with his trenchant observations and storytelling style and is widely regarded as one of the greatest and most influential stand-up comedians of all time. Pryor won a Primetime Emmy Award and five Grammy Awards. He received the first Kennedy Center Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 1998. He won the Writers Guild of America Award in 1974. He was listed at number one on Comedy Central‘s list of all-time greatest stand-up comedians. In 2017, Rolling Stone ranked him first on its list of the 50 best stand-up comics of all time.
He grew up in a brothel {Rasa says: adult entertainment/therapy center} run by his grandmother, Marie Carter, where his alcoholic mother, Gertrude L. (née Thomas), was a prostitute. {Rasa says: Let’s call it without insult, adult trade worker or sex therapist} His father, LeRoy “Buck Carter” Pryor (June 7, 1915 – September 27, 1968), was a former boxer, hustler and pimp. After Gertrude abandoned him when he was 10, Pryor was raised primarily by Marie, a tall, violent woman who would beat him for any of his eccentricities. Pryor was one of four children raised in his grandmother’s brothel {Rasa says: Adult entertainment/therapy venue}. He was sexually abused at age seven,and expelled from school at the age of 14.
Rasa remarks re this opening description of Richard Pryor’s life: When they use the words ‘brothel’ – he grew up in a brothel, the writer predicts an assumption from the reader. Ditto ‘prostitute’ – his Mom was one, same thing. I take some pointers from the milestone setter Dale Spender with her thesis ‘Man Made Language.’ She explained how males control/create language & how words describing women have become degraded as women are degraded, for instance, the word ‘Mistress’ once meant ‘Mistress of the house’ & over the years it fell down to a second woman kept by a man. Or today it’s a paid dominant – neither ideas is flattering.
{Then the men who write the dictionaries describe the sexuality of males as ‘virile’ – ‘red blooded’, while women who like sex are called ‘nymphomaniacs’ or if they don’t like sex they are ‘frigid’ – nothing in between. No robust, red blooded, healthy women described. Women who like sex are MANIACS, lol.}
I take issue with these words being used here as the writer ASSUMES the reader will think,
“That explains it. Grew up in a brothel, Mom a prostitute – that’s why he was crazy.”
The thoughts that go with ‘brothel’ & ‘prostitute’ are part of the man-made language which has us believing sexual behavior for women is PROHIBITED & if they engage in sex except where sanctioned they are wicked, evil beings. No such assumption goes to the man – he can frequent adult trade women & remain exempt from the stigma. He’s expected to be ‘virile’ & ‘red blooded.’ And so it’s obvious this double standard is imposed by Patriarchs, not by women or God – we’re at the mercy of their bias, mind control & tyranny.
I insist, first for myself then others, these terms / ideas be rethought. Women in the adult trade are entertainers & therapists & should be given respect as such. They are not wicked evil doers for dancing or posing naked, nor are they immoral because they offer their services on the street or elsewhere {often to the worst of men, the least desirable & sometimes dangerous.}{Think how awful the world would be if no woman did sex for money – increase the numbers of sick & dangerous men when their needs are unmet. Adult therapists should be given MEDALS not malevolence. I have watched men take food out of their child’s mouth so they could use the money for sex.}
And so, remove the notion of ‘bordello’ or ‘prostitute Mother’ caused Pryor to go crazy. There’s violence from a female caregiver, his Dad being a ‘hustler – pimp’, he was sexual abused starting age 7, his Mom abandoned him age 10, *being an alcoholic she might have done him a favor*. Look to these factors for his PTSD. {end Rasa statements}
Pryor served in the U.S. Army from 1958 to 1960, but spent virtually the entire stint in an army prison. According to a 1999 profile about Pryor in The New Yorker, Pryor was incarcerated for an incident that occurred while he was stationed in West Germany. Angered that a white soldier was overly amused at the racially charged scenes of Douglas Sirk‘s film Imitation of Life, Pryor and several other black soldiers beat and stabbed him, although not fatally.
In 2004, Pryor was voted number one on Comedy Central‘s list of the 100 Greatest Stand-ups of All Time. In a 2005 British poll to find “The Comedian’s Comedian,” Pryor was voted the 10th-greatest comedy act ever by fellow comedians and comedy insiders. {End Wikipedia}
Rasa says: My last remarks on him are like so. He was a miserable wretch who needed psychological therapy for his PTSD, instead, like many who become drug addicted, he medicated himself. When I met him he was on a talking streak which was no doubt fueled by Cocaine. By the time morning rolled around, he left without saying good bye because he was a zombie without drugs. Most addicts are zombies when sober – they’re lifeless. I can’t imagine living with him, it would be Hell. People can be talented while still sick. With his brand of comedy, he vented his tortures, perhaps this was his therapy, & could be why he was so good. {End Chapter 9}
College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized
Screaming into Hell
Screaming her way into Hell – Story of a friend of mine {See Part 2}
&
4-6-22 Trouble with Bob {channel Ben Franklyn at end}
Something is really, really wrong with Bob {my ex-lover & Spiritually United Husband} but so far I don’t know what.
Some dreams at first I can’s recall, to do with people. There are some good times, some conflicts, get togethers & such. I vaguely recall screaming into the face of a female one time who’d done me wrong – but not even sure this was this night or some other.
That ends & I’m standing in this room & in front of me there’s an entrance, it’s like the bottom of the stairs at the old farm house & from this spot I see a woman enter that looks like so: Middle aged, dressed like a nurse, not thin or fat but in between, white dress with blue trim & matching ‘nurse’ hat, her hair sticks out in large curls, is medium brown, medium length.
She’s carrying in her hands – this is vague – something like textured pink candles, long & squared off, 8” or so long, long wicks, she holds a bunch {5 or 6} of them by the wicks. The texture is within their wax, like white or very light grey – this is by no means easy to see so vague I’m not sure what it is, just saying what it looks most like.
I KNOW she’s the Mother of Bob – Either just know or she tells me she is & I say,
“I’m HONORED.”
*** (BOB’S MOTHER, DRESSED LIKE A NURSE: This is Bob’s GOD SELF or the God-Mother within him. There is no one in our life more important than this, God within us is higher than our Guardian Angels, it’s our TRUE SELF – the body is only an Instrument or Machine so to speak, which operates from & serves this Person if we are right with God.
The fact that she’s dressed like a nurse means it has to do with his health. It’s probably physical health, but it might be mental, emotional or spiritual health. What are the hints?
The squared off 8” pink textured with white CANDLES with long wicks – 5 or 6 of them means what?
Mother God, I seek help. I know you know but I’m trying to read your mind & that is also a challenge. Let me consider what candles mean.
CANDLE: A light – when the candle is lit. A light in the darkness. If it’s pitch dark & you light but one candle, the dark is gone. A candle or light shows the way, like a beam or LIGHTHOUSE. Shows you which way to go, where not to go. A lighthouse shows ships the shore is there.
Candle goes with PRAYER. In many Catholic Churches they have spots where you light candles for certain causes or people, you give a donation, hoping God shows mercy on your petition. So that represents hope in answered prayer.
A candle sometimes shows a lapse of time. Like a 24-hour candle, when it goes to the bottom, you know 24 hours are up.
Pink textured with white: Pink can mean ‘in the pink’ or feeling good, good times. It can also mean the vagina or to do with sex with a female.
Textured with white, like bits of white wax melted right inside the pink wax. White represents goodness, purity of heart & marriage.
Squared off, 8” candles – Square sometimes means perfection – ‘a perfect square.’ If the candle means time, the 8” is a longer rather than shorter time.
Long wicks she’s holding in her hands: These candles are NOT LIT but the long wicks she holds are also a symbol of longer rather than shorter. The fact they are NOT LIT, that she can hold them in her hand, seems to say it’s not yet time for something as the candle or lighthouse or beam are NOT showing us the way but are still dormant – 5 or 6 of them could be 5 or 6 years – 8” also denotes long stretches of time might pass before these candles are lit & something is brought to light.
His Mom or God Self also arriving at the bottom of the stairs of the old farmhouse, what is that? Staircase is staircase to Heaven or a Higher Place, she might be arriving to reveal something, the way the Angel Gabriel announced to Holy Mary She was with child.
Let me look at the total count of symbols, see if they add up to anything: Important message, permanent change for him, a way not yet lit or ready, has to do with marriage & sex, a lapse of a long time, maybe 5 or 6 years. Is all of this saying there’s still 5 or 6 years before our marriage?
Or has he gotten a fatal illness like AIDS & will die in 5 or 6 years? He caught it through sex – the pink candles? AIDS would change him permanently, he’d have to live with it every day, it doesn’t go away, he would be living with symptoms & doc apts constantly, yes, it would change him permanently.) ***
I also know her arrival here is a great FOREBODING of something to do with Bob, could be bad.
She enters the room saying she has something to tell me. I ask, frightened,
“IS HE DEAD?”
Because his Mother, in all these years has NEVER visited me to say anything about Bob, this is SERIOUS.
She says something like that he isn’t dead, but something has happened that will change him permanently, like he has to do something with his body every day to adjust to it, like some sort of occurrence & for the life of me & can’t understand, did he have an accident or get sick or some kind of malady hit him?
She DOES NOT explain so I am going to try to guess the possibilities & check his social media to see if anything comes up…….Nothing on his media so I’ll check daily.
I will channel Benjamin Franklyn as I saw a documentary on him yesterday & realized what a great man he was – been talking to him. Ben Franklyn, can you give me any idea what this means? What is being announced & what has happened to Bob?
BEN: Did you suffer more than me, less than me or the same amount? It seems you went through a lot, Hell & back – And did for this country more than you are given credit for, according to this documentary.
BEN: I suffered the same as you within my capacity. I was not as spiritual as you, but of a very good, fine nature. I cared about people, about our country. Our new country was to me the same as your mission is to you. I put all of myself into, every fiber of my being.
ME: Did your son’s betrayal of you & our country hurt you more than anything on earth?
BEN: Definitely, beyond measure. It was the greatest pain I had ever experienced.
ME: What do you think of my life?
BEN: Amazing, what you accomplished. And you did not even know you were accomplishing great things when you did them.
ME: How do you see my life story, all my books, & a movie or any media on my life occurring?
BEN: There will be great fanfare when your story is published all over the world & your life in media, movies, in all languages. You will be famous & make tons of money.
ME: I don’t have long to live. Will I see the Temple, Sisterhood, convent & New Religion begin? Any of it?
BEN: You will see the beginnings as soon as you publish all the books & thoughts on it. It will begin in your lifetime. You will start to get reactions. Before you die, you will meet the right people to get it started. It will happen, you will see, you will be happy.
ME: Can you make out what is the message of this dream? The God Mother of Bob coming to me with this bunch of candles, wearing a nurse uniform. I don’t get what it means, does he have a malady or is this saying I have 5, 6 more years to wait for our marriage or what?
BEN: Meditate & pray on this the rest of the night, I will help you to understand. Right now it’s too difficult. Work on other things, it’ll come to you.
ME: Thanks Ben Franklyn. Over & out for now.
…………………………………………………………..
Chapter 8 Screaming Her Way into Hell written 4-6-22
I have a lady friend of mine, 35 yrs old, who I have not spoken to for a couple years until about a week ago. I stopped talking to her because I had a vision of her descending into Hell. I asked God if this was definite & could she be saved? And God said she would not change. And so because I cannot cohabit with someone who covets Hell I stopped communicating with her.
Something made me call her again. Then she called me back days later, moaning & groaning as usual about her fate, the people she knows – all bad. Her parents bad, her friends bad, her now ex bf bad. When I scratched the surface I saw many of these persons were doing her favors.
She also brags about all the great things she’s doing – none of which ever pans out. They’re all pipe dreams & fantasies. Basically, all she has ever done is sell grass. And every person she knows, some of whom she recommended me for jobs, are drug users.
Why did I stay friends for years? I was derailed by her beauty & gift of gab. She looks like a model, talks like a used car salesman & was the rare woman who liked my company. I treated her to dinner many times.
I once believed her stories. She was managing people, theaters, artists, running this gallery here, managing a botanical garden there. Everything was temporary, all was here, then gone.
Then she lived with various people although her Dad gave her place to live in a building he owns. I visited her there – in theory she pays him but never does. I noticed his name is on her phone. And her Mom owns some kind of store, which she, Rosanna, says she manages or was going to or whatever.
She also manages she says, 30 bona fide artists – musicians, dancers & actors. She’s been saying this for years – most of them are gay & unemployed, lol.
You have to begin to suspect someone who has the ‘story of the month club’ but after years, nothing has come out of any of it. The office her friend is ‘building’ for her? For what, I ask, why? – for all those artists she represents, all the big shots & investors coming to see her, she must have an office.
She supposedly has jobs but looking for this guy or that to front her money, none of which is paid back. She says she lives with a ‘billionaire’ in NYC. I said his digs must be luxurious. She says no, he doesn’t live according to his means, & he lets her stay there because she MANAGES THE PLACE when he travels all over the world.
Her ex bf also tried to get away from her. I finally figured it out. She’s been with him for 10 years. He went here or there, moved to get away. But she went wherever he went even when he said it’s over. What was the game? Silly me finally saw it. She gave him free grass to keep him & he still sees her for it. She pretends she went on all those trips to where he moved on business – NOT to see him, lol.
But this is not what I was going to tell you – it’s a prelude. This is the story of someone going to Hell, choosing it, how & why it happens. She’s a case history, a prism of the Hell-bent mind set – explaining a place where you should not go.
So she calls me & the same ole’ begins. Moaning louder & louder how her friends have betrayed her, turned against her, injured her. I listen until it reaches a fever pitch. What can I do?
I tell her all I can do is pray. Let us call on God together.
I begin to pray, I call on God. I praise God & tell her the woes of Rosanna. I tell Rosanna now is the time to call on God’s Power; will you accept Her & bring Her into your Heart, where She can live & dwell & dispel all your problems?
ROSANNA:
“How can I surrender myself to a being I don’t even know? Who is God, what is God? Why should I give myself to Him when I don’t even know who He is?”
ME: None of us knows who God is. But we don’t have to understand God – She is beyond human understanding. Imagine us understanding the being that created the Infinite Universe? It’s beyond our capacity. But we don’t have to understand Her, only accept Her, open our mind & heart, let her into our Beings, allow her to take over. She created us, She loves us, She is our only hope. Rosanna, I cannot help you, I have no Power. But Almighty God can & will. But you have to open the door to Her.
ROSANNA: Screams & screams more about her woes, the friends who betray her, bad mouth her, turn against her.
“Why is this God making me suffer? If He is good, then why is He making me suffer? If He was good He would stop my suffering, but He isn’t. Why should I believe in Him when he allows suffering?”
ME: We all suffer – this is the valley of tears, all people suffer, many ways worse than you. It’s a trial; this is a place of learning, where our Love is tested. We live thousands of times until we learn. We must forgive all our enemies & not hate them, that way we pass the test.
ROSANNA: “I’m supposed to forgive these enemies that hate me? Why?”
ME: To release yourself from them. If you hate or take revenge you remain attached & your pain continues. When you forgive you let them go & your pain will also go. Jesus, on the Cross, did not hate His persecutors. He said,
“Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
ROSANNA: Screams “But they know what they are doing! Why doesn’t God just stop them!”
ME: We can’t stop our suffering on earth except by forgiveness & accepting what is. And people are ignorant, they have their own problems, they are emotionally, mentally & spiritually sick. We live in an evil world, run by men. This world does not practice love, people are injured by it. And when they are, they take it out on other people. They hurt you because someone hurt them. You have to receive God to heal yourself. If you live in this world & rely on the love of people you will never be happy. Only God can make us happy. People are flawed.
If you can’t take what people dish out, then stay alone, isolated which is what I am doing right now. I live for God & my work, once again. I’m celibate. I’ve not seen my lover or anyone in 3 years. And as long as people leave me alone, I’m happy. I do my work, I write, think about my mission. People can’t hurt me if I don’t seek their love.
ROSANNA: “I can’t be alone like that I need people. I have to have people.”
ME: People of the world will always hurt you, sooner or later. Look, how many of your friends live for God & have True Love? All your friends are drug addicts. They need help. And so, they will hurt you. You either have to stay away from them or forgive them.
She screams some more on the evil people out there & why are they so evil, why does she suffer so much until she bursts out,
ROSANNA: “I want to kill myself or someone else, I can’t stand it any more! Why doesn’t God stop my pain? If there is a God & He is good, tell Him to stop my pain!”
She screams again & again she’s going to kill herself or someone else if this doesn’t stop.
ME: It sounds like you’ve hit rock bottom, but what can I do? How can I help you? The only way I know for success is to receive God, pray & ask God for help. God has all the Power, God created us & loves us. Unless you receive God into your heart there is no hope. You will continue suffering.
You’re closing the door to God, who is your only hope. God is the only being who can help you. God knows all, sees all, can do all things. Why don’t you invite this Infinite Being to come into your life, help you? You are in Hell if you live for the world & the flesh – there is no happiness in temporary things. You need Eternal Life. You need God. I know of no way out of misery & the road to happiness is to have Faith, Hope, Trust, Confidence & the Love of God.
ROSANNA: “I CANNOT GIVE MSELF TO A Being who makes me suffer like this – I don’t know who He is or What he is.”
And she rants & raves again how evil people are & repeats her woes many times.
ME: I cannot help you, only God can. But if you don’t receive Her, there is no hope. You have created your own Hell, you have placed yourself into it. Without letting God into your Being, which they call ‘born again’ you will stay in this place called Hell.
I then excuse myself & politely– we’ve been at this for an hour. I see the revelation given me two years ago before my eyes – Story of a Lost Soul. {End Chapter 8}
College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized
3-30-22 Tom Selleck-Movie-Money
Movie Success–End Fake Wife
Predictions – Movie Success – End of Fake Wife
3-30-22 Tom Selleck-Movie-Money
There’s this little group of rag-tag friends I have that could never get anywhere although they tried & tried – just locals. Some are small people in stature, some very young, male & female. There’s something about them that’s ‘whimsical’ – like you feel sorry for them, as they try & try to get somewhere but they don’t – they don’t ‘have a clue.’
*** (RAG-TAG FRIENDS, COULDN’T GET ANYWHERE, SUDDENLY THEY’RE IN A MOVIE! These are the people in my life, who I talk about in the books ‘I Strip for God.’ Most of them were LOSERS & CLOWNS, great CHARACTERS for a movie! This says this is their chance for fame – to be spoken of by me & appear in a movie as characters!) ***
One day I am driving with a friend up this mall – cars are allowed in this sort of side street-mall place. When in front of us we must STOP DEAD IN OUR TRACKS because there’s a SERIOUS FIGHT GOING ON RIGHT IN FRONT OF US, bad violence, someone assaulting sometime on a doorstep to the right. The lights are SOFT PASTELS, similar to my vehicle. We aren’t sure what to do as some body could have a gun & even shoot us. I get the feeling my car is beautiful & svelte, like a luxury convertible sports car – feminine – in a soft metallic color, salmon/pink with silver on the sides – the ornaments on the side are sort of like ‘fish’ shaped but not exactly, like ovals smaller in front, larger in back, like they are ‘swimming’.
*** (I ARRIVE AT THIS INDOOR PLACE LIKE A MALL & SEE A GREAT COMMOTION: I arrive at the MOVIE SET where they’re filming my life story. My VEHICLE is my BODY. It’s luxurious, beautiful, feminine, & I give the appearance of ‘fish’ because I am SPIRITUAL. Fish represent Christianity. This is the ‘I” in “I Strip for God.” I am ‘beautiful,’ ‘luxurious,’ ‘feminine’ & spiritual.) ***
But then I realize its A MOVIE. I get out of the car & I see a camera to the left & my RAG TAG PEOPLE GOT LUCKY . They were hired, as a group, to be in this top class movie! They’re all in costumes, completely covered, like robes that reminds me of ‘The Wizard of Oz’ where everyone is a character – different types. First, they were ordinary & dull in life, but now, dressed up like this, colorful.
Because these are my friends I get over to the middle of the ‘area’ like stage center, & bow & make funny noises & wave my hands in the air like to upstage everyone – just for fun. The rag tag group all protest & tell me no, no! – They think I’m going to wreck their movie!
*** (I MAKE FUNNY SIGNS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STAGE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA – because these people are all my friends, & they cry no, no, thinking I’ll wreck their movie!
But the feeling is, as soon as I’m here, I’m privileged. Yes they were chosen, they are part of it, but I’m higher than their parts – just the feeling I had in the dream. This displays how SELFISH these people were in real life, most of them USED ME & here, symbolically, they are saying ‘Don’t steal my thunder’ – this is their only chance, as characters in My life, for FAME – LOL.) ***
Then out comes the Producer – Tom Selleck himself, handsome like in his prime, wearing a light blue shirt. He pops out right toward me, to stop my antics & realizes WHO I AM. He mellows instantly & says to me,
“Did you get the money I sent you?”
I say no, imagining a white envelope with lots of cash.
He knows me, he adores me – I am IMPORTANT to him & everyone around including the rag tag group – I’m ONE UP on all of them as they are just players but I am more than that – the Beloved of the MAIN MAN!
*** (TOM SELLECK IS GOD of the ‘I Strip for God.’ This explains so much. God has produced my life story; God is going to PAY me for my life story. I know this is God because when I received the Grace of the Divine Stigmata one night I had a vision that was so vivid. I saw tom Selleck standing by a fireplace mantle & he was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. This was God at the other end of my sacrifice. I had given up all of myself – martyrdom – for God & He or It revealed Him/Herself to me this way – as PURE LOVE. I gave God all the love I had, God gave me back all the Love I can hold. This kind of love is totally different than doing things for reward or gain, its True Love, which seeks no rewards or conditions.
Below: Marilyn Monroe at the same age I was starting out – 19 yrs old – before Hollywood grooming, pics with perfect lights, perfect makeup, etc. To prove how beauty appears, it’s constructed by the skill of art.
And so, what I gave to God by preaching – the love the sacrifice, the pain – & all the hard publicity I did – this will all be rewarded by God through Her Karma. She is PAYING ME for ‘Stripping for God.’ – which hasn’t arrived yet, but this says it will.) ***
He then sits by the side of the wall, I’m in his lap & playing with his curly hair. He’s hairy. His head is a soft Afro, medium brown, his arms have long hair. I tell him ‘I’m into hair!’
I ask him what was the money for? And flirtatiously add,
“I hope it was for sex.”
He says something like rambunctious stuff or shenanigans or fooling around – some word meaning ANTICS. He says it as a joke to agree with me re the sex.
*** (ANTICS or SHENANIGANS: God is saying, “I’m paying you for stripping for me,” lol, like everyone sees this in a joking or whimsical manner.) ***
We watch the rag tags & they are PITIFUL but they are the luckiest blokes on earth to have gotten this movie! Some now have on Geshema crowns & I exclaim,
“Here come the Buddhists!”
Tom & I are so cozy & everyone knows I am his Beloved. Then there’s this LITTLE GUY who’s kneeling to the left at the feet of Tom, worshiping him. I say to him,
“Oh, bended knee?”
And he says yes. I mean Tom is BIG – a Producer & a Star.
*** (TOM PRODUCER & STAR: Whoever produces this movie it is the hand & Spirit of God that does it, & myself being IN HIS LAP shows the greatest INTIMACY. Playing wit ‘his hair’ & the hair on his arms represents his Spirit & the strength of his love. Hair on the head is thoughts, arms are the Strength of Love, so hair growing on them is a symbol of fecundity or fruitfulness, growth. It’s his Love, Power & generosity that I’m experiencing, & everyone sees it & knows it.
Who is the little man kneeling by Tom’s feet? It could be the person on earth who gets this project going, in obedience to God – inspired to do it.) ***
Earlier were just struggles & frustrations but this is great fulfillment.
Then it’s time to quit & all the rag tag group is leaving into the street & I ask them where they’re going but they don’t seem to know, just going, the end of the day.
The costumes were also like ‘Alice in Wonderland’ where characters were like cards, big cards in front & back with many colors, framed in bright colors like advertisements.
*** (CHARACTERS ALSO LIKE ‘ALICE IN WONDERLAND’ – Yes these are weirdoes, strange people in my life but they are interesting – like the evil Queen that keeps ranting ‘Off with her head,’ – that would be Mommy Fearest. Alice in Wonderland was someone tripping on dope {Mia Farrow starred in a movie called ‘Alice’ giving that scenario}, & my life was sometimes like that, & these are the persons. They did their bit on stage & rode off into the sunset. They never ‘got anywhere’ like being rich or famous or accomplished just did their quaint part I my life & disappeared – the early part of my life. Of course as an adult I did meet & date some really famous, accomplished men like Otis Redding & James Brown, Tom Selleck & a few others.) ***
3-28-22 Predictions Personal Lives
Will begin with later scenes then jump back.
Before falling asleep asked God to show me the future of my Lover, his fake wife Ruthie & myself. The main one I’m uncertain of is Ruthie & I think the person pictured here is her.
I see a female who is kind of now ‘isolated’ or has LEFT SOCIETY & I can’t understand why, but she has – Like she has become a LONER.
She’s attractive but by her own choice, different. She’s out driving somewhere. I vaguely see my old Caddy, the Deville, which is to me like a boat – I hated it for driving, I like small cars.
She’s going on a regular road or highway but stops to the right, gets out & for the SECOND TIME is getting a haircut from a tall young male. Her hair is light brown & straight, & she wants it cut a certain way, which is difficult, complicated, he has to cut it bit by bit & she’s razzing him about each bit – he’s getting annoyed & frustrated. She then ‘disappears’ & I look & she’s walked about 20’ away from him, she’s strange. She seems like a ‘tomboy’.
*** (ME: Mother God, I need help on this. I tend to feel emotional about it so that might block my analysis. What is this?
MG: This is Ruthie, DOMINATING lover Bob. She’s ‘bossy’ or ‘bitchy’ as you know right from the beginning & right now you will see it’s gotten under his skin – The ‘second time’ for the haircut? What is a haircut or ‘trim?’
Hair represents thoughts, feelings, the mental state. White hair would be consumed with worry, grey hair in between, stressed out. Black hair could be depressing thoughts.
Giving someone a ‘trim’ or ‘fixing’ their hair would be fixing their thoughts, which would mean fixing their STATE OF MIND. Here she is expecting much out of him to settle her mind or give her peace. It’s beyond what he can comply with.
And because of this, she distances herself away from him. But she’s still within reach & sight, on the same side of the road.) ***
He goes to a bunch of ‘his people’ like associates or friends, sort of higher up in the air or on a hill & says about her,
“She asks questions like a Scotsman”
& I don’t know what that means, except the questions are bad, maybe meant to trip you up or frustrate you, not good questions. This guy is a professional hair dresser & he or someone like him cut her hair earlier.
*** (QUESTIONS LIKE A SCOTSMAN: The hairdo this girl has reminds me of one of the ladies on ‘Beverly Hills Housewives.’ It’s straight, shortish hair that is cut with points – it’s cute, light brow. The idea of a woman from Beverly Hills sounds like one who has a lot, wants a lot. She wants a lot from the lover Bob & he is not giving it – he can’t. ‘The second time’ is probably once they had such a big fight they temporarily broke up, this is the second time.
As far as ‘Scotsman’ they wear KILTS. Maybe this refers to emasculating Bob, diminishing him. Another meaning could be ‘Scotch plaid’ which is crosses, checks like ‘Scotch Tape’ – this would be crucifying statements, as crosses are the Cross of Our Lord.) ***
Now I see her WALKING AWAY from him & the Deville & she’s wearing a concealing outfit, a smock or chemise which is a couple sizes too big for her. She might be a 12, but the smock is 16. It’s a puffy type material, charcoal grey, almost black, with tiny white flowers all over it, & over the top of that she has some kind of medium brown tunic or overcoat that is completely open so you can see all of the dress. She’s walking away from him toward town, to my left & later I see there’s a FAIR going on – half the city is closed down to traffic so they can conduct this fair which contains all sorts of things for celebration & good times – she’s walking toward it.
*** (WALKING AWAY FROM HIM TOWARD THE CITY HAVING A FAIR, HER OUTFIT: This departure isn’t on the same side of the street – {which seems temporary.} This looks more serious as she crosses the street into the city which is having a fair & celebratory, fun style thingy. Crossing the street is extremely telling, it’s like ‘crossing the Rubicon’ which means Caesar passes point of no return into Italy
which means IRREVERSIBLE. I saw one soul I was saying Masses for suddenly, quickly, running across the street in front of me– which meant entering into Heaven, leaving Purgatory, an irreversible transition.
Is this CROSSING OVER a sign of DEATH?
HER OUTFIT: Charcoal grey/almost black is SOMETHING BURNED UP or finished. Burning or burned up is finished – charcoal is something TWICE BURNED so it is a definite end.
The tiny white flowers all over it? Might be saying ‘yes, it’s over, but flowers grow out of the ashes, it’s a resurrection, a change for the better – new life? Or does it mean SHE IS DEAD, pushing up daisies? The dress being LOOSE is it like a SHROUD?
This is a definite ending, either their relationship or that with her death. )***
As I see her walk away from me {& him} her outfit is completely different. She has on form fitting stretch pants in a mustard color. Her legs I’m trying to ascertain if she’s overweight or not. Probably not, just her legs are bigger than average – not fat or thin, the legs have a decent shape to them. Can’t recall what top but her leggings I can see all the way to the waist.
*** (LEGS BIGGER THAN AVERAGE: This gave it away that it’s Ruthie, as her legs are by nature disproportionately bigger than the rest of her body, even when she was thin. But symbolically it could show strength, the legs look strong. It took strength perhaps to walk away from Bob forever, or else it shows mystical strength, that she is going to a good place in Eternity.
The mustard-color tights resembles gold & yellow. This might be showing either fear or love. Could be fearful of what’s ‘on the other side.’ ‘Tired of living, scared of dying.’) ***
Then I’m in that black car. I was parked overnight & am now exiting the driveway to the main St. & a big fat woman {wearing black} is walking toward where I come out & was in slight danger of my hitting her. She’s upset about this because apparently overnight this area got closed to traffic; she didn’t expect a car & could have gotten hit. I am perplexed as I was not aware of this traffic rule going on – I want to get out of this no-drive zone & I head to the right up the street looking for a way out – luckily no cop sees me as I’m breaking a rule.
*** (FAT WOMAN IN BLACK, IS STARTLED I AM HERE COMING OUT OF MY EXIT & COULD HAVE HIT HER: Is this Ruthie? If this is THE OTHER SIDE or PURGATORY then I’m not supposed t be here, as I’M STILL ALIVE.
The VEHICLE is my body. If I’m still alive it’s unauthorized for me to be here. I could be here for the VISION & UNDERSTANDING – the dream is answer to prayer showing me where Ruthie will be fairly soon {not I old age, we’ll all be there. So I just sort of ‘appear’ or ‘get caught’ on the other side & want to get out of here or the cops/angels will tell me I’m breaking the rules}) ***
It becomes NIGHT & also seems like rain, the streets are wet. I do get to a street that is filled with traffic – all the ones that had to detour ended up here I guess but where I want to enter the street shows one way arrows, so I go further into a parking lot which has an exit & am going to go right into the main St.
*** (TRYING TO FIND THE ROAD BACK TO EARTH, lol. Not my time to be here.) ***
Then I think about the ‘fair area.’ It’s fun but one has to park a few blocks away in the traffic zone, then you have to walk some blocks, then you have to walk through the ‘fun’ area. But my legs hurt – it’s not likely I can pull this off. Oh well. No ‘fair’ for me.
*** (NO FAIR FOR ME: It’s not my time to ‘go to the fair’ or Eternity – this explains how one must walk but cannot take their vehicle – which is the BODY. So although Ruthie came here, I can’t. Obviously she’s alive now but this is a prediction.) ***
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NEXT DAY dreamed this – 3-31-22
Asked for confirmation & further clarity on is this about Ruthie’s death?
OK we’re in a vehicle. Ruthie is driving. I had seen here earlier & she was OK & a full head of brown hair, thick & to the shoulders in a nice hairdo.
Now I’m in her vehicle, she’s driving & Bob is on her right.
As I sit I’m aware I’m much higher than them, like a foot or more, in my seat, towering over them, bending slightly forward. The car is beige inside & out, a smooth vanilla, a beautiful luxury car & feels like floating.
We were going one way but now there’s this red post to the left by a nice building – she goes over to it & begins to turn around completely. At first I was afraid she wouldn’t drive properly but she drives well, & soon, she’s got us turned around & is going the OPPOSITE WAY, from where we originally came.
As I look at her head I at first thought she had shaved her head bald – but then I see only the bottom is shaved, the top is still there, like a male ‘undercut,’ but it’s completely grey – half of it is white. And Bob’s hair is EXACTLY like hers. They are talking – they don’t even see I’m there.
*** MEANING: I must turn to Mother God, I can’t figure this out.
MG: She is the driver means she’s calling the shots, she’s in charge of their relationship. The vehicle is the relationship, which worked so far, but now they’re both sick with anxiety – the hair shaved & half white is extreme worry or stress.
They thought they were going to get somewhere –– that place would be happiness / stability, as there is a lovely building here – it’s made of large beige bricks. The vehicle & building bricks are the same color – their relationship was going well, they thought they were going to be happy, but something has happened to STOP THEM. The red post says ‘stop’ – a post of PAIN.
POST means MESSAGE like a message on the internet. A post along the road could tell you which direction you should go – this way this town, the other way another town. So a POST here is indicating,
“No, you’re not going to have happiness, go back.”
The message is they can’t be happy together any more.
The car being a LUXURY car, driving smoothly like the Rolls Royces I’ve been in – indicates this relationship was a LUXURY – one she can’t afford any more. She isn’t working due to her injuries – I’ve said many times he was using her for the drug connection – not sure how the deal worked but it was so he could afford more or get more drugs, & she knew this & encouraged his dependence on drugs. No more drugs, no more relationship.
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Earlier dreamed this:
I have a large dark-skinned full-bodied male in front of me, a few inches taller than me, quite handsome, & I’m saying something flirtatious to him. He’s standing so his left side is to me.
And across from him facing me is another similar-looking male like a brother but not as handsome, he has a thin mustache. To offset my flirting with the first guy I gently touch the chin of this second guy in a flirtatious manner. It was to show something – like I’m not obsessed with the first guy I’m just a flirtatious female something like that.
Not sure what this means.
They were both pleased by my attentions but I did not want to give away I was interested in the first ‘brother.’
………………………………………………………….
*** MEANING: This shows two brothers & I recently mentioned in an article that I took out my lover’s brother to dinner three times.
The dream presents one fact – that I don’t want lover Bob to think I’m still obsessed with him – I’m not. Yes, I do love him but I don’t want him to think I’ll chase him again or bend the knee to his demands. And so this other guy or brother, I use to make him think I just happen to be flirtatious & am like that with many guys.
The fact that he looks very healthy might be that I recently saw him in despair, in my dreams & sent a letter to make sure he wouldn’t crack up from grief of losing me And so, this shows he’s been restored to mental/emotional health.
College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized
Future Life & Success
More Ideas for Our Sisterhood – Drama – Beauty Contests
Dreams
Predicting Future of Life Story &
Personal Issues
Today in my head as I sat by the babbling brook right by my house I saw scenes of plays we can produce for our Community which will be educational & simple for small children to understand but also beneficial for adults. I saw a scene of a young female with a cape, sailing into a room from above, appearing as SUPER HEROINE like Wonder Woman, & she cries out,
“I AM THE HOLY SPIRIT!”
She continues, gesturing with her arms into the air or putting them on her hips,
“I am the SUBSTANCE & the POWER of God!”
Her cape is brilliant & we sew it so it flares out to the sides, gold & silver on the back, inside could be like flowing water, with a tongue of a flame on her chest & She describes how She appears to the human race – water, fire & wind.
As the people standing by are in awe & even scared, She describes her Powers, the Gifts of the Holy Spirit including Miracles & Healings. She is joyfully aggressive in her speech. When she first appears, the other actors fall down, to show being ‘Slain in the Spirit.”
She describes how She IMPREGNATED Holy Mary so that Jesus could be born without male DNA– that women can conceive without a man’s help because the EGG is a REPRODUCTIVE CELL but sperm is not. She explains Holy Mary is an Incarnation of God, & her bringing him into the world, without the help of man made him inviolate, an Incarnation of God as well.
The other actors will ask questions & the Holy Spirit Heroine will answer, illuminating our doctrine. The questioners will be in awe & sincere.
The devil could appear as Pharisees & Patriarchs & the Holy Spirit will tell them off with exorcism & they run like Hell, filled with great fear at the Presence of God.
Acting out scenes like this will be beneficial to our cause & Sisterhood on many levels.
There could be all kinds of dialogue between the actors & HOLY SPIRIT HEROINE which would illuminate our doctrine.
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Beauty, Learning, Talent Contests:
I can also see us holding BEAUTY CONTESTS so the sisters & ‘Third Order’ Members {like third order members in the CC where they are Franciscans or Dominicans, but they don’t live within the convent—they can be married or live with their family.}
In these beauty contests they can wear anything they want – from bikinis to ball gowns. There will be points on costume & personality. One of the important features will be the questions on OUR DOCTRINE. So they would be scored on beauty of face & figure as well as knowledge of our Religion. The one who gets the highest points in all areas wins the contest & becomes ‘Miss Matriarchy 2022’. However, there will be other trophies & the one with the best knowledge of our Doctrine could be called ‘Most Intelligent’ or ‘Miss Brilliant’ or ‘Miss Wisdom.’ And of course we could give a ‘Prettiest Face’ & ‘Best Body’ trophies. We could also have a trophy for the best ‘Miss Senior Matriarchy’ for contestants over 60.
Why is this contest a good idea? Several reasons. One is, they follow in my footsteps, – If I am the founder of our Order, anything I did is legit for them to do, they honor me this way. Nothing I did was wrong; it took me to be the Leader I was.
Second, we invite the press & get publicity for our Cause.
We also make VIDEOS of these activities as well as the plays I mentioned, & other educational forums, & put these on the internet to get millions exposed to our beliefs.
It would also galvanize the Sisters to put effort into several areas –grooming, being fit, & honing their knowledge, performance, speaking skills & talents. It would be exercise for converting others from Patriarchy to Matriarchy. The average John & Jane Doe don’t even know what Matriarchy is or why Patriarchy is wrong.
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More Ideas for our Matriarchal Order / Convent
Re the beauty contest: I forgot to mention the talent competition. For talent they can sing, dance, recite a script, do martial arts moves, acrobatics, even a body building demonstration {can do 100 pushups in a row & do a dead lift with 100 lbs 15 times or whatever she can do. Last but not least – her best talent is cooking. She can bake a cake & it will be presented – the judges can try a piece.
More on Conversation, Dos & Don’ts
*Be SLOW to contradict people, especially an elder & don’t contradict the Hostess, moderator or one of the senior ranking Sisters.
I recently had a female call me who wanted to VENT. I let her go on as it’s a common thing; people want to unload their frustrations & anxieties. She’s heard my doctrine before – for years – & agrees with it & repeated it to me like a parrot – having forgotten that it was I who told it to her in the first place. Everything bad about Patriarchy she re-iterated.
But as I went on ‘preaching’ this or that against Patriarchy, she contradicted me with the ‘I know women that are bad, too’. OK, she did this once, as I continued, she did it twice, then three times. By the time I answered her claims, my mind & emotions were worn out. Being contradicted is annoying & sometimes infuriating. It can be a CHALLENGE & the person contradicted has to DEFEND THEMSELVES or explain themselves, which is sometimes work, & can be STRESSFUL.
Now if you’re a teacher in a classroom setting you are supposed to contradict students when they say something wrong. But if you are a junior member or just a regular John or Jane Doe sitting at our table contradicting people strongly & persistently is WRONG.
Of course, if someone says some against our Doctrine or Religion, correct them in a diplomatic way. Stay calm, just explain why they are wrong. And you can do this outside our walls as well you are representing us.
I have a lady ‘friend’ who never allows me to make a statement about subjects I am well versed in without contradicting me. She feels she knows more than I about EVERYTHING. She cannot stand the idea that I could know more. She has to be the leader, the boss, of every conversation. Her pride & ego are fueling this. It’s so annoying that I told her speaking to her is a mine field I no longer enjoy visiting.
Even in a regular setting where it’s two or more people conversing contradicting others is grating. Try to find common ground. Not saying you cannot give your opinion.
I was standing in the grocery line getting my food the other day & started talking about chickens & if I was perfect I wouldn’t eat them – I love them – I’d be a vegetarian. I described the cruel lives of ‘battery chickens.’
To my chagrin she popped up with,
“Chickens don’t have feelings – they don’t care.”
Startled, I immediately countered with,
“All beings care about their life.”
Yes, I contradicted her. Sometimes you have to. But be judicious when & where & with whom. Sometimes you should just be quiet.
On another note, we will not discuss men’s Patriarchy politics in our Order at table or anywhere, that is the Democrats vs Republicans or whatever parties in whatever countries are having elections. Both sides are doing propaganda, we don’t know what the truth is, & they are all puppets ruled by the Shadow govt. The alternative candidates who represent an honest agenda haven’t got a chance. People get brainwashed by propaganda then get all excited & emotional about it & end up yelling & screaming at each other. We should have no discussions or arguments about items such as these; speak of the big picture – that women should rule the family & the world, not men. And most of the women high up are part of the evil world – they are not Matriarchs, we call them ‘dicks in skirts’ so what’s the point? It would be nice to have women elected in high offices, but right now we don’t expect much from them, until women are at least 50% of the ruling governments, they cannot push a ‘female’ agenda. We should support women in elections hoping that eventually they will offer up maternal policies – which mean love & fairness – no unjust wars or laws, no exploitation.
Don’t Vent at the Table
There’s a time & place for venting & stating one’s frustrations, anxieties, things one is pissed about, & all other woes. Don’t do it here when people are having a pleasant meal, do it with your best friend or in a therapy session. To go on about negative things would bring everyone’s mood down.
In the beginning, we will ask everyone to bring a list of pleasant or interesting things they might discuss like movies, documentaries, TV shows one has seen – books one likes. Make a list of your favorite all-time movies, explain why. Or things you’ve seen that are educational, informative or entertaining. Don’t start any ARGUMENTS. Talk about animals but not AD TEDIUM – as your pets latest antics could be BORING to a lot of people. In a setting like ours it’s best to give SOUND BYTES on things, & if someone wants to hear more, they’ll ask – but if no one responds, drop it. It will be WORK-EFFORT to learn to converse without stepping on toes, arguing, venting, complaining, moaning & groaning, contradicting & insulting & boring people – but TRY.
Clothing or Uniforms of the Sisters
I like the idea of the tilma of Our Lady of Guadalupe on the back of a tunic the Sisters wear. They could have two tunics. One for summer is made of cotton & could be put over summer clothes, could be tied on the sides or just a loose garment. The second could be WARM for winter, some type of thick padding or fake fur lined material, on the back the picture of Our Lady. The color a dull beige.
The front could have a picture of the Immaculate Heart of Mary. It would be also OK to have any image of Mother God as our insignia, the images of Mary are the most widely portrayed. If someone can make a painting of ‘Mother God’ this is acceptable also. The pic of the heart in front, again, there are many of Mary’s imagined heart.
How these images would be put upon cloth is unknown to me. I have a tilma of Our Lady of Guadalupe, there’s a way to put images on cloth so this has to be looked into. If we can find a place that sells images of Our Lady of Guadalupe or other images of Our Lady on cloth, we can buy many of these & sew them onto our tunics.
It would not be required to wear these uniforms every day every time one steps out of the convent, the way regular nuns do. But when attending Temple it would be appropriate, & at certain times – to be determined by each convent. Sometimes you want to be official sometimes you want to ‘blend into’ society. It isn’t always convenient to ‘stand out’ in the crowd.
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Chapter 6 ‘Remarkable Woman’
Dream explains great success for my life story 3-26-22
There’s a woman here who is remarkable, & I seem to be representing her, myself being an actress.
At one point I am FLYING over the audience, wearing a beautiful medium light blue chiffon type dress to the knees & the bodice gathered, scooped, with a cummerbund at the waist of the same material. It’s more beautiful than the dress I had at the 8th grade graduation which my Mom stole, it’s slightly darker, the material is finer, more crinkly, & it has no stiff crinoline underneath, it just flows, is very wide, & as I fly over the audience & close to them, & I’m saying loudly, happily,
“I have SUPERNATURAL POWER”
“I have GOD’S POWER”
And I repeat these ideas again & again as I fly back & forth over them.
Finally I land & the woman I represent is standing next to me. She has on a beautiful red dress made of some kind of material that has a texture which is not jewels or gems or bright sequins, but the closest I can think of is not bright but textured sequins, thousands of them, tiny, all over the entire dress, which goes below the feet & trails down on the floor – a real ball gown. The dress clings to her & is a true red.
The strange thing here is I’m an actress who did the performance, representing her but she is the person I guess you could say, the living breathing person who actually did these things – they were remarkable – & she is going to be paid tons of money. And I ask her,
“What are you going to do with all this money?”
And she says,
“I AM EXHAUSTED.”
That’s all there is to it.
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MEANING: This is about my God Self & human self, the dream explains that I was empowered by my God Self, but the flesh DID THE WORK & the human self gets exhausted. The God Self is part of the Infinite Energy Source, it does not get tired or in any way hurt or perturbed. It is the same as God in Heaven.
The human self is wearing red, which is the color of BLOOD & saying SACRIFICE, fresh pain. The material is made of thousands of tiny sequins or something like that – these would be the experiences of your human life, the painful ones, numbering into thousands & the gown trails below your feet, saying what a long life & a long list of painful experiences. You are tired from the effort & the pain.
For some reason God wants you to know you will be rewarded on earth, not only in Heaven – You did the work, you will get the money. God is rhetorically asking you this, as She knows you intend to use it to build the convent & Church. Maybe She’s encouraging you to keep going & finish the work because you need a boost.
Where She is flying over the audience is the audience for your life story. She is explaining how She is the Power & She gave you the grace, but you’re the one who suffered & you will be rewarded. You don’t say anything about the money, why? Because you maybe don’t have any particular human use for it you want to use it for the work of God, which is what you’ve been thinking about constantly.
Why is the God Self wearing a dress that looks like your 8th grade graduation? {The dress Mom stole & gave it to another girl at her work} Probably to show you how God will pay you back for all that was taken – stolen from you in what people did, especially Mom. It’s like the God Self is wearing your dress, like you GAVE GOD A GIFT, the gift of what you lost & sacrificed & God is so pleased She’s wearing the gift! The jewels we ‘give God’ are our pains, sufferings & sacrifices & God turns them into precious stones & beautiful jewelry & crowns. In this case your dress of pain adorns the good God who is FLYING over the audience to show you,
“It’s your LIFE STORY, an audience is looking at your story & you will get a lot of money. Your pain will turn to PROFIT – it bears fruit!
The details: The dress looking kind of different than the real life one, explain the differences, what they mean.
MG: In the Heavenly realm, your sacrifices & pains are made more beautiful, on earth you’re wearing the gown of pain & what you feel is exhaustion, but in Heaven, your True Self has no pain but only joy & She is flying, nothing of the earth limits her or holds her down.
Earlier dreamed this:
I have a large dark-skinned full-bodied male in front of me, a few inches taller than me, quite handsome, & I’m saying something flirtatious to him. He’s standing so his left side is to me.
And across from him facing me is another similar-looking male like a brother but not as handsome, he has a thin mustache. To offset my flirting with the first guy I gently touch the chin of this second guy in a flirtatious manner. It was to show something – like I’m not obsessed with the first guy I’m just a flirtatious female something like that.
Not sure what this means.
They were both pleased by my attentions but I did not want to give away I was interested in the first ‘brother.’
………………………………………………………….
MEANING: This shows two brothers & I recently mentioned in an article that I took out my lover’s brother to dinner three times.
The dream presents one fact – that I don’t want lover Bob to think I’m still obsessed with him – I’m not. Yes, I do love him but I don’t want him to think I’ll chase him again or bend the knee to his demands. And so this other guy or brother, I use to make him think I just happen to be flirtatious & am like that with many guys.
The fact that he looks very healthy might be that I recently saw hmi in despair, in my dreams & sent a letter to make sure he wouldn’t crack up from grief of losing me And so, this shows he’s been restored to mental/emotional health.
College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized
Ramakrishna Channeled
Chapter 1 Part 7 Channeling Ramakrishna 3-11-22
From Wikipedia:
Ramakrishna Paramahamsa; 18 February 1836 – 16 August 1886), born Gadadhar Chattopadhyaya, was an Indian Hindu mystic and religious leader. Ramakrishna approached his religious life through the path of devotion to the Goddess Kali, and by observance of various elements from Tantra, Vaishnav Bhakti, and Advaita Vedanta, as well as proficiency {Rasa word edited from dalliances} in Christianity and Islam. After earnest practice of various religious traditions, he held that the world’s religions represented “so many paths to reach one and the same goal”. His followers came to regard him as an avatara, or divine incarnation, as did some of the prominent Hindu scholars of his day.
Quotation
“I have practised all religions – Hinduism, Islam, Christianity – and I have also followed the paths of the different Hindu sects. I have found that it is the same God toward whom all are directing their steps, though along different paths. You must try all beliefs and traverse all the different ways once. Wherever I look, I see men quarrelling in the name of religion – Hindus, Mohammedans, Brahmos, Vaishnavas, and the rest. But they never reflect that He who is called Krishna is also called Siva, and bears the name of the Primal Energy, Jesus, and Allah as well – the same Rama with a thousand names. A lake has several Ghats. At one, the Hindus take water in pitchers and call it ‘ Jal ‘ ; at another the Mussalmans take water in leather bags and call it ‘ pani ‘. At a third the Christians call it ‘ water ‘. Can we imagine that it is not ‘ Jal ‘ , but only ‘ pani ‘ or ‘ water ‘? How ridiculous! The substance is One under different names, and everyone is seeking the same substance; only climate, temperament, and name create differences. Let each man follow his own path. If he sincerely and ardently wishes to know God, peace be unto him! He will surely realize Him.”
Ramakrishna, who experienced spiritual ecstasies from a young age, started his spiritual journey as a priest at the Dakshineshwar Kali Temple. Soon his mystical temperament gained him a widespread acknowledgement amongst the general public as a Guru, attracting to him various religious teachers, social leaders, Bengali elites, and common people alike; he eventually taught his disciples, who later formed the monastic Ramakrishna Order. After his death, his chief disciple Swami Vivekananda popularized his ideas, and founded the Ramakrishna Math, which provides spiritual training for monastics and householder devotees, and the Ramakrishna Mission, to provide charity, social work and education. (end Wikipedia with one word edited by Rasa)
Sri Ramakrishna has been my guru since about 1995 – He’s not my only Hindu/Yoga guru. I started with Paramahamsa Yogananda {so popular in the West}, read the Bhagavad-Gita at age 29, got deep into Baba Muktananda & his guru, Nityananda, besides studying many Yoga books I can’t even recall. With Muktananda & Nityananda I went all the way into MYSTICAL MARRIAGE with each of them. Muktananda gave me HIS SANDALS but in the form of high-heeled red/white & blue ones to honor my country! And Nityananda gave me a SOLID SILVER DRESS {mystically} with which we got ‘married’ {united} & lifted 250 Souls out of Purgatory for celebration! I was close to Ramana Maharshi, who led me into Nonduality in Feb, 2007.
I’ve not done an official ‘guru sadhana’ with Ramakrishna but perhaps that will come later. A sadhana is when you study, concentrate, pray to the Enlightened being of your choice, they appear to you in Light, {Muktananda was coruscating violet light every evening as I prayed to him} visions, dreams, & when you succeed in your devotion they give you Gifts {spiritual} & even Mystical Marriage if/when you open all your heart to him/her.
Recently I boned up on Who Ramakrishna is, what he did & I see that he is a man for my times, while I now pursue a Sisterhood where all of us can be different faiths but follow a Mother God. Ramakrishna is the only religious leader I know of who not only tolerated & accepted the validity of various religions but actually imbibed & became proficient in many of them – an astounding feat to be all that he was & then to become a Muslim & a Christian. You have to study him to understand & believe this – I did. Long ago there were only books which I purchased many of – but now it’s easy with the internet & You Tube videos. I recently reviewed some of his biographical movies & documentaries & was once again amazed.
Being he was on my mind I began to channel him or read his mind, & the answers he gave were most consoling & healing for my troubled mind. His intelligence is off the chart – his insight & common sense.
A thing that was bugging me to no end was the time when God told me, in 2008 to quit my celibacy, “go out & have fun,” – “stop suffering” – “if you don’t do this you will be OUTSIDE THE WILL OF GOD.”
I resisted at first, but when She said I’d be outside the will of God if I disobeyed that was final. I fear God more than death; I knew I had to obey. Why, I didn’t know. But I obeyed, as usual with all the power & zeal within my body. I did the best I could to ‘have fun’ although I told God I no longer knew how – & She said, ‘You will learn.’ I did not understand then nor is it completely clear to me now, the meaning of all this.
I might add that embarking on this unexpected phase changed my ministry & guru-hood. One disciple – my holiest one – in Scotland, could not abide this new lifestyle, our relationship ended. His name was Kun Kin, his visions about me are on my website, ‘Woman, Thou Art God.’ I used to appear in bilocation to him again & again, he tried to touch me but I would disappear. Finally one night he crawled to me & finally touched the hem of my dress {I was sitting I imagine like Whistler’s Mother, in a long dress} before I vanished.
If & when at rare occasions I speak of this to people – they exclaim,
“God would not tell you to do this!”
Because of course sex is dirty, sinful, & everything bad in their minds – certainly God would not send anyone there although ‘He’ created sex – it’s a paradox – & CERTAINLY no religious, holy, sacred or sanctified person would be sent to go into the world & HAVE SEX & ENJOY IT!
On my part, these were my objections or questions. First, I struggle to become celibate because all the saints were. I think about it for years, try to stop having sex a few months, then for a year, then swing back. It isn’t easy. I find no one else interested in this quest. It’s a journey you will take ALONE.
So finally one day it’s time. The Holy Virgin appears to me & asks me not to have sex with men any more. Figuring this is forever, I hesitate – even though I wanted it. I’m discomforted. But after 5 days of thought my inner voice says if I don’t take this vow I’ll always know I’m a coward so I do.
The first two years are rough, I wish I could get out of it but I can’t. After that it eases up. After 10 years I’m FREE. Free of what? – The discomforting nagging sex drive. Then God appears to me in spirit & says do I want to quit the view, it’s done its work. I say no because I’m AT PEACE, do I want to have a sex drive nagging my bones again?
Ten more years goes by & the idea of sex withdraws completely from my zeitgeist. Here comes God again, do I want to quit? No, God, I’m happy where I am.
Fine, ten more years. God again, do I want to quit? No God I don’t want to quit. Why would I? Go back to the world of unrequited desires? Have my heart filled with lust & go about seeking sex? Why would I want such turmoil invading me when I am AT PEACE? My life is FINE without sex in fact, many great things happened that never would have had I kept up with it.
But then God elaborates & tells me what I said above. Then I have no way out, this is the Will of God & therefore my will. Where do I start?
Alright, let’s ask Ramakrishna, the world expert on spirituality. I have channeled & asked others but still was confused. Let’s see if his genius will put a light at the end of the tunnel. So to all I have said, what is your answer, Sri Ramakrishna? Why was it the WILL OF GOD that I stop suffering, go out to have fun & sex, bars & alcohol, getting drunk, reveling & carousing, acting crazy like all the others, feeling lust, anger when thwarted, pain when rejected, jealousy when females take my men away, feelings of revenge when insulted & hurt – why did God throw me into the lion’s den, for what reason & what good did it do me or others? What about sin? – All those human, animal feelings. Did I sin? What mission is this? I know ‘black & beautiful’ from the Song of Songs, God sends me out there into the fields & I get ‘black from the sun’ {I commit faults} but I’m still beautiful because I did it for God. What do you make of all this?
RK (Ramakrishna for short): You obeyed the Will of God, how could you be wrong? Now you want me to interpret or understand what God wanted of you.
First of all, you are a Goddess in the spiritual meaning of the word, the highest meaning. Not just that your body is beautiful but your Soul is. You are not of the flesh or the world, not for a long time – you left that spirit behind years ago. Therefore, the first question, is, were you committing sins when you felt those feelings mentioned. The answer is no. Yes, you felt ‘lust’ but that went with the territory of the mission. The other feelings toward your neighbor were temptations. You did not dwell upon them, entertain them or put any of them into action. You felt them quickly & temporarily, you let them go in your heart you forgave those who hurt you. Temptations are not sins unless you entertain them, nourish them & act upon them. So that’s settled.
Next, your peace of mind. Why would the Almighty want you to leave behind your contemplation, peacefulness, the cave, the cloister, the monastery, the hermitage, the isolation, & go back into a world full of dangers? And dangers they were. You not only had sex but you were assaulted physically, punched in the stomach & in the face 3 times – once knocked unconscious for a second. Many things happened that could have ended in serious injury, but they didn’t – because God protected you – God was with you.
Yes you started to drink, on & off, got drunk a few times. So did the disciples, so do most people, religious or not. Don’t take it so seriously.
Next, what good came out of all this? You became a Cougar. What did this mean? You EMPOWERED WOMEN. You took away the STIGMA FROM SEX. It was what you always spoke of – if somehow we could take the stigma off sex & make it Sacred again, it would take so much power off Patriarchy, because they keep women enslaved by making sex evil, taking away their sexual freedom. You did a chapter on this with St. Martin Luther King Jr., where he said when women break away from Patriarchy by having sex with anyone they want, whenever, however they want, it would be the end of Patriarchy – because men do everything to gain & control women. Once that’s lost, Patriarchy is lost. Nothing to fight for, no more wars. So women’s sexual freedom is a BIG THING TO FIGHT FOR.
Stop being afraid you did wrong, just rejoice you obeyed God no matter what this society thinks. People are SUPPOSED TO think it’s scandal for old women to be with young men, it’s par for the course, let the attention arise & the objections fly, give them the answer of God. It’s like you Stripping for God. You got attention, you gave your message. It was a good thing – that women in the adult trade are not lowlifes, they can be of God, you made your point, you edified people, you changed things.
Yes, Cougars are still scandal & they’re in the news reality type TV shows & everyone is baffled & curious what makes them tick. But most of them do NOT understand the issues of ‘old woman – young man’, why it’s important – but you do. As a woman educated in the ideas of Patriarchy vs. Matriarchy, & how they’ve held down women – including old women is an important issue. You explained those issues in two books. None of these other Cougars could do this, they had sex with men & did TV shows, but has any of them tackled the issues or given illuminating answers concerning how women have been disempowered & now they’re taking their freedom back? No they haven’t, you were needed to do that. And no, you’ve not yet been on TV interview shows for it, but you will. You can’t do it all at once, now you’re writing it down, later you will be in the media.
Part of what you’re doing through your life is as a religious, spiritual woman who is pro-sex, your making sex SACRED again. You’re taking the SOIL OUT OF SEX, cleaning it up, where Patriarchs threw it to the mud you bring out sex the way the pond lily is rooted in the mud but pops out on top beautiful & fragrant. You liberate people from seeing sex as a naughty, sinful, secret, forbidden activity into the Light of day where it belongs – let everyone rejoice we have sex & it’s for love, it can be Sacred, all of us came into the world through it.
ME: So far, so good Ramakrishna. But why me? Why not a lady in the adult trade besides me, say a Sex Therapist {prostitute} or Pornography lady? Wouldn’t they be appropriate? And they would not have to give up 30 years of celibacy to go out there to preach this, I did. Why do I have to give up my peace, enter the fray, do something that was half fun, half painful – & God told me to stop suffering. So how am I not suffering when I faced all the dangers of going to bars every weekend for 11 years & being the victim of prejudice for my age & all the other mine-field factors of dating?
RK: Where do I begin? First of all, God needed a TEACHER, an intellectual, one who contemplates. But that person could not be a bookish, at the desk, Armchair General, that person needed to be out there LIVING THE LIFE. Now how many women are there in the adult trade, who can be teachers, professors, gurus, building their own Church & proclaiming the Word of God?
I can’t think of any but you. And besides being a professor type, this woman preferably is also a WOMAN OF GOD so that’s a BIG BILL TO PAY, some qualities all I one woman that are hard to find.
And so, you got chosen.
ME: I also took thousands of photos of models. I feel now that these will illustrate my activities, that is to say, me being a Cougar, they being young hotties, even though they were not the actual guys I dated – some of them were but not most of them, & so, they serve to illustrate my activities as symbols. What do you think of the value of these photos, is it high?
RK: That was one of the best things you did, without knowing it. You didn’t plan ahead of time to illustrate your Cougar escapades with these photos, but they will suffice, & they will lend great credibility to your stories. How many of these Cougars have all these photos? – None – only you. So this is of great value.
ME: On another note. You & Ramana Maharshi are famous for your trance states. It makes me wonder, have I missed anything? My trance states have been few & far between. Have I fallen down on the job? You do of course have a far different spiritual culture than us Christians & you guys got famous for trances & greatly acclaimed. In our ball game only Maria Woodworth Etter was famous for trances, no one else I know of, & that was a while ago. Have I been remiss in not going into trances the way you guys did?
RK: Haha, how funny. If you were in trances the way we were, how could you have done your work? How could you have Stripped for God & given sermons, how could you have been the Progenitor of female body building, how could you have done all the interviews & TV? All the things you did you were equipped to do. Each Avatar, each Saint of God has different qualities & Gifts that God chooses for them to do their work. You had to be beautiful; you had to have a beautiful body & face. That’s a credential few ministers & gurus had to have, but it was important for you. That’s why your mother hated you – one reason – you were beautiful, she was not. Everything that you are has been used for ministry – your body, your mind & heart. We all had what we had to do what we had to do. Now let’s end for now, you must get this posted.
ME: Thank you Sri Ramakrishna, we may speak again. Your help has been terrific.
College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized
OLD WOMAN YOUNG MAN
William Bond answers questions re Old Woman – Young Man – Same
questions answered by Ajax the Great – Two of the smartest men in the
world tackle the hard questions of old woman – young man
Part 2, Dream of Rasa re her Lover leaving his fake wife as she can no longer
afford him
First, William Bond: 1 Why is it a taboo for the older woman-younger man, but the idea of older man-younger woman is not only tolerated but accepted as normal. Certainly ten years older man is considered equal to ten years younger female.
Answer
It is all about wealth and power, dominance and submission. It is no secret that men have been ruling the world for all of recorded history. Up until the 20th century women were dependant on men for money. Either by money from their fathers, marrying a man or becoming a prostitute. This is why many women would be marrying men older than themselves, as they would probably be earning more money than younger men.
There also were laws up to the 20th century that a husband owns any money a woman has, when he marries her. So a wealthy women dare not marry a man who is less wealthy than herself as he might take her fortune away from her. In the 20th century this changed when women were allowed to own their own wealth and we see gigolos appear.
We have later found later on that wealthy women like Princess Margaret and Cher have had younger lovers. So it is all about money, it is a lot easier for rich women to have younger men than poorer women. As many poorer women, even in the 21st century, are looking for rich husbands. But like I have said before. many relationships between older women and younger men are kept secret.
But it is not all about wealth. Patriarchy expects men to be the dominant sex and take the initiative there relationships with women. While women are expected to be submissive and passive. But not all men and women are like this. There are many men who are introvert and are too shy to speak to women and have a submissive nature. While there are many extravert women who have a dominant nature.
There are some older women who know this and take advantage of shy and submissive young men. So if they see a introvert young man they like, they move in, take the initiative in speaking to him and then take the dominant position in their relationship. Many of these men because they are too shy to talk to women would be virgins, so the older woman can teach them to have sex in the way she wants.
2 What is the Patriarchal society afraid of in the older woman? Why are they denigrated as far as sex objects ‘put out to pasture’ & told to mind the business of gardening, knitting, cooking & taking care of grandchildren, but to have fun & relate with younger men romantically is non acceptable? Why are they made to do ‘harmless’ or non-political non-leadership work like just mentioned, but being in positions of Leadership or influence is not encouraged? They are not seen as ‘wise elders’ but accused of spreading ‘old wife’s tales.’
Answer
The foundation of patriarchy is to undermine female power. This is why in the past women were not allowed to be educated and kept out of any job that gave them any power, wealth or status. Up until the 20th century it would be impossible to have a female scientist, doctor, lawyer or any academic. Now, this is slowly changing and we find there are female ‘experts’ and so we do now have ‘wise women’ but still not as many as ‘wise men’. But this is slowly changing.
3 Why do older women ‘give up’ & stay alone when they could be out in bars & clubs, drinking, dancing, laughing, talking with males, especially younger males – the way Rasa Von Werder has been doing? Why are they so afraid of being out there?
Answer
I would imagine it is lack of confidence. Breaking down barriers is difficult for women. The first female doctors, scientists, engineers and politicians all had to be tough women as they had to put up with abuse from men. This is even true of women going to bars and clubs on their own, as they fear how men will treat them. So any women who breaks down barriers and invades male spaces will always have to be strong, confident women. But women like this then makes it easier for other women to follow in their footsteps.
4 What happens when old women stop being afraid, go out there, put themselves out for sex, date young males openly, live with them? How will this influence society?
Answer
The more older women and younger men openly have relationships the more acceptable it becomes. An example of this is the gay community. Up until the 1960s is was illegal for men to have sex with each other. But even after homosexuality became legal it was still socially unacceptable. So it took many brave homosexual men and women to ‘come out’ and put up with social censor for homosexuality to become socially acceptable. So it now possible for two men or two women to marry each other.
The subject of older women and younger men are written about in books and shown on film but they always show it in a negative way, like in the film “The Graduate” staring Dustin Hoffman and Anne Bancroft. Although one story by Somerset Maugham called, “Gigolo and Gigolette” in the 1940s had a happy ending for the wealthy woman and her gigolo. Although the song “Gigolo and Gigolette” put a negative spin on this type of relationship.
REMARKS from RASA VON WERDER: When I went out as a woman of 63 to the clubs & bars, dancing, drinking, seeking young men, I was assaulted by the negative view of society to this. The first year I was asked almost each time I went out HOW OLD ARE YOU? Like my age was an AFFRONT & an INSULT to the community – I was old, therefore an anomaly – old women are not supposed to seek bar-hoping, drinking, laughing & having fun, & certainly NOT supposed to be dancing with & having sex with college age men!
And so, by doing what I did, I set an example for other old women & I did not see hardly any during the 11 years I was there, but the fame or infamy of my activities will remain with the thousands who saw me, they will speak of it, & it will encourage other old women to do likewise. It empowers women. I survived, I took the gaff, so they can do it. (end Rasa Part)
SAME QUESTIONS answered by AJAX the GREAT
Questions Older woman – younger man
1 Why is it a taboo for the older woman-younger man, but the idea of older man-younger woman is not only tolerated but accepted to be normal. Certainly ten years older man is considered equal to ten years younger female.
Answer
William notes that it is all about wealth and power, dominance and submission, and he is correct overall. I would also like to add that there are many levels and layers to this as well, and it is highly nuanced and intersectional. There is a lot to unpack here.
For example, one of the biggest stumbling blocks to an older Woman / younger man relationship comes not only from men, but from many Women themselves who are still brainwashed by the patriarchy to one degree or another. Some of the greatest opposition in fact comes from the mothers of the young men. There are probably a number of reasons what, and Freud would probably have quite a field day with that. Yet notably in actual Matriarchal societies, we don’t seem to see this kind of opposition at all.
(We also see this same dynamic with slut-shaming as well, with Women being the biggest enforcers of this despite it having originated with men and the patriarchy. And it is to Women’s own detriment in both cases.)
Some Women, including even some self-proclaimed Radical Feminists, may also vehemently oppose such relationships as well, as the young men still benefit from male privilege from living under patriarchy, while seeking to enjoy the benefits of the nascent and vestigial Matriarchy at the same time. They may think it unfairly puts the cart before the horse. A lot of it is really envy/jealousy more than anything else though, and THEY are the ones really putting the cart before the horse since opposing such relationships actually hinders the transition to Matriarchy.
There is also a lot of “reaction formation” from Women who secretly want to date younger men but are afraid to, and thus take on the exact opposite belief since their true belief causes them great anxiety. The same could be said about the younger men themselves.
Women can really be their own worst enemy sometimes, alas. And that is basically because they were socialized from birth by the patriarchy to be such. Throw in the fact that we still live in a rather erotophobic culture to one degree or another, and that makes it even worse still.
Then there is also the famous “half your age plus seven” rule, which exists for a number of reasons. But historically it has been enforced by society far more stringently when the Women is older compared to the reverse. Men certainly mature significantly slower than Women do, so that could be part of it. But patriarchy clearly puts men in positions of power despite their relative immaturity, so such a take is highly hypocritical at best.
RASA SAYS: The feminists, I was once officially a member of NOW – are way behind on some issues as Ajax states here. They are from the professional class & this class fails to see how we have had to degrade ourselves as maids, servants poorly-paid serfs including the adult trade – & they want us to quit ‘degrading’ ourselves & be like them – work in offices & such. But we in the lower trades aren’t qualified or don’t want such jobs, sometimes adult work pays better. The other ‘untouchable’, demeaning jobs are taken by the poorest of the poor as they can’t land the big salaries. So radical feminist, take a Class 101 on REALITY. (end Rasa part)
2 What is the Patriarchal society afraid of in the older woman? Why are they denigrated as far as sex objects ‘put out to pasture’ & told to mind the business of gardening, knitting, cooking & taking care of grandchildren, but to have fun & relate with younger men romantically is non acceptable? Why are they made to do ‘harmless’ or non-political non-leadership work like just mentioned, but being in positions of Leadership or influence is not encouraged? They are not seen as ‘wise elders’ but accused of spreading ‘old wife’s tales.’
My Answer
As William said, the foundation of patriarchy is to undermine female power. By any means necessary, in fact, as the patriarchy is deathly afraid of female power, as that will ultimately be the patriarchy’s undoing. And older Women have the greatest potential for power, especially to influence the younger generation.
3 Why do older women ‘give up’ & stay alone when they could be out in bars & clubs, drinking, dancing, laughing, talking with males, especially younger males – the way Rasa Von Werder has been doing? Why are they so afraid of being out there?
My Answer
Basically what William said. Almost no one wants to be the proverbial “guinea pig”, as few are brave enough to go first when it is still perceived to be relatively socially unacceptable. They want to see what happens when a critical mass of others go first.
RASA SAYS: And so, I was chosen by God to take the ‘hard knocks,’ be the guinea pig & when I’ve done so, the Grace of God enabled me & protected me. It’s like David & Goliath. David was chosen, Anointed, only he could slay Goliath because God gave him the capacity to do so. He was Anointed by Prophet Samuel to be King. The Anointing is what does it. Most people don’t have it, so they must wait for the ‘special ones’ to open the way. (end Rasa part)
4 What happens when old women stop being afraid, go out there, put themselves out for sex, date young males openly, live with them? How will this influence society?
My Answer
What William said, in a nutshell, the more Women do this, the more socially acceptable it will become. It is a classic example of the Overton window shifting in that direction. And the more Women do this, the more influence they can exert over the next generation of men, in a self-perpetuating virtuous cycle towards Matriarchy, God willing.
DREAM of Rasa Von Werder 3-5-22-Good Husband has had it with his old
‘wife’
We are in a dwelling of two floors & there seem to be two couples. Does it remind me of my apt in Hollywood?
Downstairs there’s a woman in a bed who seems to be unable to get about – has to stay in bed. She’s a mean, miserable person. She has a dog tied to a chain nearby.
*** (MEAN WOMAN IN BED WITH DOG CHAINED INSIDE: This is, without a doubt, Ruthie, the fake wife of my Beloved. She had a bad accident that will time to recover from, she might never return to her former work, as it’s physically challenging (& pays well).
She knows the future looks grim for her & her relationship with my Beloved – so she’s miserable – she has or had him tied by a chain to her in the house. (It doesn’t explain, but I’ve known for a long time this has to do with DRUGS. The chain is drugs.
Soon she knows she’ll be broke – it would be a time for him to step up to the plate, except he isn’t going to. She now sees him with different eyes, the eyes of a woman in need, who cannot afford a gigolo. The man must now become a bread winner, a role he’s never fulfilled, so it’s good bye toy boy.)) ***
This doesn’t make sense as they’re in the house, maybe I ask her about it. I see her looking lean, a long, hard face, straight brown hair, brown eyes. There’s a strong color ‘rust’ or reddish brown emanating from her hair, eyebrows & eyes. There’s another man around who I don’t see much about. (He reminds me of a character I saw yesterday in a Ramakrishna movie bio, named Tota Puri, who taught RK ‘Nonduality.’ He had curly grey hair, long mustache & beard, almost naked – a mystical monk. This is VAGUE. He hovers around to the front of the apt while she’s toward the back. I don’t see them having contact.)
*** (LEAN, RUSTY LOOK, MONK WHO TAUGHT NONDUALITY {lol}: Lean means lean times – those would be times of poverty. She’s broke & getting broker. RUSTY, RED/BROWN, HAIR & EYES…There are two interpretations for this, one rusty is something old that has not been taken care of, it has gotten weathered rather than polished. This is her work status & relation to my Beloved. The affair has gotten OLD & she can no longer take care of him & keep it polished or in working order.
Second, the red within the brown shows suffering so obviously she’s suffering from this situation, miserable, & taking it out on him. Like why, why, why don’t you become a faithful, generous, compassionate man to me? Because – the dream does not explain – she basically employed him to be her partner & now she can’t pay him so he’s going to quit. Lol.
The VAGUE MONK is rather humorous as it is far fetched but totally true. This is an entity that teaches her NONDUALITY which is ONE not TWO, this is a hard lesson of ‘my girl, you will be alone.’) ***
Then there’s my good husband, Richard. He’s near me but also being bossed around by this mean woman. I think she’s his fake wife or been his wife but this is not of the heart, his love is for me.
She tells him to do things & every word she says to him is CRITICISM & meanness, finding fault with him at every turn.
Richard is with me doing this & that, & at one moment he’s eating curly lettuce, in some sort of close contact with me, just lettuce. She says something to him & he, exasperated says,
“That’s it – I’m done.”
He’s finished with her, it was the last straw. She was criticizing him for eating but it was only lettuce – I see it, fresh & green. He’s really happy & satisfied being close to me, he wants to be on the upper floor with me & leave her behind.
*** (EATING LETTUCE: Fresh, green lettuce is SUCCESS or PROSPERITY. Green leaves always mean that when they are dried out or burned up, as in a cigarette or ashes it means the end or failure. And so, Beloved is enjoying SUCCESS with ME, not with her. It’s in his MIND because we have no contact but the stage is set for him to leave her & be mine.
LETTUCE also means MONEY, sometimes cabbage means money. She no longer has any, I have lots. He knows that.
My husband Richard: This is when Beloved sets his mind toward me as POSITIVE – ‘I love her, want to be with her.’ This shows his mental state & disposition is good now.
The fact that this apt sits in Hollywood is when I was with a demonic man. It means this entire situation was demonic – her taking him away from me with drugs. But he wants to get away from her & be in a ‘higher place’ with me – she held him down & enabled him to stay addicted – I release him from this need & hopefully he’ll go into rehab & quit the drugs.) ***
Also dreamed about a SCHOOL I wanted to get to but it’s gotten so vague, have no details, just struggling to go there.
Oh yes, when I was in the ‘yard’ of the school a female is walking to my left & greets me. I ask her do I know her & she says no, but she knows me, & she was expecting me to be here. She’s wearing blue, seems mystical, like of the spiritual realm.
I was going through a lot in this school, struggling to get there.
*** (SCHOOL, FEMALE EXPECTED ME: This sounds like Purgatory & apparently one female, who I never knew, expected me & here I am. It suggests my struggles have been of benefit to Souls in Purgatory. This makes me extremely happy.
School means lessons we learn, revelations, insights we attain.) ***
Kellie Everts—Rasa Von Werder You tube:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbs2mz4ljiTIExCvya6zHrg
Rasa Von Werder-William Blog:
http://rasavonwerder-william.blogspot.com/?zx=209beef238268616
Embodiment of God website, current articles:
http://embodimentofgod.com/
Rasa Von Werder publications on Lulu Press: (put ‘newest to oldest’)
https://www.lulu.com/spotlight/rasavonwerder
Rasa Von Werder – Kellie Everts on Amazon Books
https://www.amazon.com/Books-Rasa-Von-Werder/s?rh=n%3A283155%2Cp_27%3ARasa+Von+Werder
