College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Mugging & Arrest

Chapter 9 Get Arrested, Cleveland, Ohio… Nov 6, 1978

written 7-29-22

It was a little theater – No more than 200 people, whereas some places in Canada held 2,000 {like the Metro Theater in Toronto.} A few memories.

One, I spoke before each show about God. One black dancer was so impressed with my speech she decided to do likewise, & gave a little talk about how her back hurt! Lol. She wanted me to like her & showed me a series of images of herself as a ‘gangster.’ I thought they were whimsical.

Another strong memory is a black man, tall, handsome & well built, saw me outside. People were milling about. He pulled out a hand written letter I had sent him while he was in prison! It must have been 5 pages long! I had no memory of it, but indeed, I know I did answer many prisoners, feeling sorry for them. I was grateful to myself for caring – it made a huge impression on him.

We had a wonderful lady – black – her name was Brandy. She was the finest helper I’d ever had in any venue. One thing, she made a press conference with drinks & food. It was a huge success.

She also went with me to a TV show – can’t recall if I arranged it or she. One of the guests was that boxing entrepreneur Don King. He said,

“Hello Brandy!”

to her & she was amazed, as they had never met! I was so happy for her to get recognition as the owner of the theater was a crud – he had a problem, they told me, with fat women. He kept hiring them to dance, lol.

The host of the TV show thought I was a fake, especially when I told him I donated to the Church for Souls in Purgatory. He said he’d sent 2 reps from his show to go with me when I made the donation, & if I did, he’d report it on his next day’s news. What an idiot. OK, but he did not tell them how much. I gave 1k for Masses.

The Mugging

I almost lost that money the day before. I carried it in my purse because I was afraid to leave it in the hotel – they had no safe. I usually took my purse onto the stage, as it was not safe in the dressing room, naturally, not where the audience could see it but I could. So I was walking from my hotel to the club when right in front of the club a short black man is walking next to me & we both look at the signs & pictures outside.

Before I tell you the next move, let me explain.

No dancer had ever hit all 3 news in Cleveland. I hit two of them – but there was one that was serious news & didn’t touch anything they considered ‘fluff’ – so they did not interview me.

So I prayed fervently that God, no matter what it takes, let them interview me.

OK so myself & this young black guy are standing on the street, & I have my purse on a long strap hanging off my shoulder. Suddenly he grabs my purse so hard that down I go, & I jump back up & chase him.

At the same time a pickup truck is going by with a middle aged man, & he gives chase.

Just as he nears the guy a cop car comes from the opposite direction, & they both have the culprit nailed against a tall chain link fence – game over.

They take him in, lock him up, my money is saved. I recall praying hard as he ran off with it,

“God don’t let him get the money for the Souls!”

The next morning I finally awake for my show. As I

pick up the phone the operator breathlessly says,

“Kellie, there’s the channel X news waiting for you downstairs but I told them I could not awaken you as you had a ‘do not disturb’ order.”

Wow! God had answered my prayer! It had to be this way because this was ‘hard news’ – a mugging of the star of the theater. So they came.

But at the same time, God arranged it so the money for the Souls was not lost.

Here’s how salvation came.

I spoke to the pickup truck driver.

He said,

“When I saw that guy grab your purse & you went down, I thought of my daughters. That’s why I couldn’t let him get away with it, & just as I had him against the wall – a cop car came from the opposite direction.”

I thanked him again & again, felt we were friends.

At the police station, they told me about the guy. He was young & had just got out of jail; in his ‘defense’ he said he grabbed my purse because ‘she was just a whore.’ In other words, in our society its open season on women in the adult trade – you can rob’m, hurt’m, kill’m – it’s OK because they deal with sex. It happened to a sister in NYC, Johnny Pons girl friend, Lily Marlene. Yes, she was selling her time.

She was in a car with a young Jewish guy & he stabbed her like 19 times, around her middle. When she danced – & she was a star – you could see terrible scars.

He got away with it because his rabbi & others came to his defense & said he was a ‘good Jewish boy’ & she was ‘just a whore.’

She became an alcoholic – Johnny Pons asked me to look after her & I did take her out one night – Holy Cow, she drank about $75 worth {I was just surviving money wise, I worked one week a month at the most – not because I didn’t want to but there weren’t enough venues}, he should have subsidized me. Her identity as a human had been stripped away, soon after she killed herself.

The Arrest

It was the first time I’d ever been arrested & I was scared. Yes, got on the news again, lol. What for? Nudity.

There was a black adult trade worker being booked at the table next to me. I pitied her & said,

“They always pick on the poorest people.”

She looked at me & said,

“I ain’t poor.”

The officer understood I was on her side, he said,

“She’s trying to help you,”

And the female said something like she didn’t ‘need no help’ or whatever – I guess she was trying to keep her dignity.

The case went before the judge in my absence – it was dismissed. It was just publicity for the authorities as someone was running for office. The same thing happened in Toronto – there was an election going on & they wanted publicity. It’s Patriarchy. It’s like them saying, ‘We keep the town clean.’

Did you see ‘Elmer Gantry’? This creep went through all the ‘houses’ having members arrested, with press & cops in tow. When he got to one where there was a female he’d been fukking he got snagged. She framed him, had someone take pictures of her in his lap later on – he got on the front page. Elmer Gantry is a deplorable movie which took the great faith healer Aimee Semple McPherson, turned her life around, took this lowlife guy she was involved with{she had t pay off a female for big bucks} – turned him into the star & made her look like a fool: Patriarchy. Whatever we do, we’re the bad guys, they’re the good guys, we can never win, they succeed no matter what they do & we better keep our mouths shut.

{End Chapter 9}

College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Damned Male Agenda

Damned Male Agenda 7-28-22

Letters between Rasa, William Bond & Pete Jackson

Opening letter from Rasa:

Run from the Hills 7-27-22

The ‘Hill People’ of Laos

Another example of a sicker than sick PATRIARCHAL – MALE RUN – Society. It enrages me. Somehow the bulk of the work falls on the shoulders of the women. They work from sunup ’till they drop from exhaustion. The main female featured here looks 10-20 years older than she is – is 60 but could pass for 80 – for the serial pregnancies – 15 – & the non-stop drudgery work. He – the male leader – is a SHAMAN which is similar to a Priest-faith healer. But he has to MURDER an innocent little baby chick to produce a cure for a fever? They boy, it says, was cured, but he took an “anti-fever” pill. What is that? Aspirin? OK so a needless torture of the baby chick – I couldn’t watch. I think he set it’s fluffy-ness on fire from a candle. He could not affect a cure using hypnosis or mind over matter, or herbs like a real FEMALE SHAMAN or faith healer would do – or a non-murderous psychologically effective ritual? {Yes he did that as part of it, – the paper doll – that was OK.}

Then a young person from a nearby village dies – they show the funeral. To commemorate this person’s death they take an innocent Water Buffalo, tie him to a tree, take a sharp spear & stab him to death with it. Then cut off his head, climb on top the roof & make loud noises to prove they have done something good. Only a man would think of this. Then the entire village gets drunk – women included. That part doesn’t other me.

Then the twins business. They have decided that only animals have more than one baby, people that have twins are possessed by an evil spirit. They are BANISHED, their HOUSE & PROPERTY ARE DESTROYED, & they MUST MURDER THEIR BABIES! If they do this they can come back to the village but they are shunned for a full year. Why don’t these people take their babies & somehow by the Grace of God go to that far-away town where the youngest son lives? I know it’s a trek but better than killing two babies! It’s a 6 hour trek. Where there’s a will there’s a way. Trust in God that when you get there God will find a way to survive.

The clincher is when this Chief-Shaman, who is 72 but could pass for 52 because he has the ‘life of Riley’ recites how great he is & he has to have the biggest funeral there ever was – dozens of COWS have to be SACRIFICED for him! He did this, he did that, proving he is the GREATEST man in the province. Hope your funeral comes as soon as possible but spare the Cows. I would take his corpse & hang it upside down, let the kids play target practice on him, like they did with Mussolini.

From You Tube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sNFveHpkwI

The Akha tribe in Laos: Between tradition and modernity | DW Documentary

The Akha in Laos live almost untouched by modern civilization. They still adhere to their archaic customs. But they are on the verge of upheaval. Cut off from the rest of the world, without a paved road, the village of Peryensang Mai has remained almost untouched by modern civilization to this day. Its inhabitants are from the Akha tribe, and they seem to live in a different time: Their language isn’t even written down; their everyday life is defined by the laws and rituals handed down from their ancestors such as animal sacrifices to ward off bad luck. This adherence to customs that are often quite brutal endows the Akha’s lives with stability and direction. The women of the village have a particularly busy life. Because the Akha are largely self-sufficient, their tasks range from agriculture to housework and making traditional clothing. This documentary tells the story of the Laovan family. Mother Yeapheun has always had to work hard to support her large family. Her husband is the village elder and ensures the Akha observe the strict laws and commandments. The couple and their eldest children cannot imagine life beyond the mountaintop, so the family is pinning its hopes on youngest son Kienglom, who has been going to school in a nearby town since he was eleven years old. Like many mountain tribes in Laos, the Akha are facing a difficult choice: between a move down into the valley, which would mean they would have electricity, running water and better medical care – but also abandoning their ancient rituals. The film takes the viewer on an emotional journey of discovery to a tribe torn between tradition and modernity and facing the need to reinvent itself in today’s world.

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Rasa says: They don’t tell you the truth like I did – about it being Patriarchy, etc. They see it from an old-time vs modern point of view; I see it as Patriarchy vs Matriarchy. Why is that? Because Patriarchs are writing our history, making all the observations, so of course, they never reveal their own sins. Even women in Patriarchy, brainwashed, are following the narrative men present. So the society is never fixed – It remains as it is, the male fukked-up agenda, the women following. If we wish to truly change the world for the better we need to see through Mother God’s prism, the way She would see it. And Buddha & Jesus were both Matriarchal – No animal sacrifices. Sacrifice your sins, bad thoughts, feelings and actions. Sacrifice your hate & prejudice, not animals.

And another thing: Check those children’s bodies after the men have ‘baby sat’ them while all you women were at work. Can you imagine what goes on? And who are they accountable to for abuse? Is there police? Will the women handle it? No, the women are slaves, they do what they are told; they cannot protect the children & have no remedy when it happens. Same with all those Patriarchal cults like here we have Amish, Mennonites, Hutterites. Who handles the abuse? NO ONE. That is the purpose of Patriarchy: exploit the women & children, do what we want, they are our workers, breeders & toys

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Pete Jackson says re overpopulation: In fact, as Igor Chudov reports later, in ultra-jabbed Germany, not only births, but even abortions are down too. That means that even accidental pregnancies are down as well as purposeful ones, so it’s not simply due to people choosing to delay or avoid procreation. Really makes you wonder!

Rasa on overpopulation–birth control–abortion

The lack of abortions tell it all. People didn’t stop having sex, & unwanted pregnancies happen all that time. That means something caused people to become infertile.

For me, Patriarchy is going to Hell in a hand basket. It is inevitable that many things will go wrong, all the time. It is expected that the Patriarchs & their sock puppet females will lead the world into devastation again & again – the only question is how?

The fact that many people believed in these monsters shows me they have not been paying attention to alternative media. They are ignorant of what is going on behind the scenes, as the mainstream media is controlled by those that do wrong.

Now about the population. Patriarchy – men – not women, have caused overpopulation.

It behooved Patriarchs to have more & more people in their tribes so they could have bigger armies. Other reasons, it is men who are loathe to practice birth control. Not women. Men many times load their sperm into women & take off – leave her holding the bag. I just saw a documentary in Africa where a dirt poor woman had 6 children in 10 years. She could not afford even the first, & went to live with her Grandma. The moderator asked her why she had so many children – they can’t even feed them! They take turns taking spoonfuls, each one gets only so many. And the woman said,

“Ask the men.”

Each man had abandoned her. They want to fukk but not provide. Maybe they are poor themselves, no doubt, but try masturbating instead of sexing. But they don’t care, they fukk & take off, worse than animals, as many animal males tend their harems – even male fish protect eggs fertilized eggs.

Alright, Dr. Bryan Sykes says the same thing – that the Patriarchs cause overpopulation; serial pregnancies. And so why don’t they remedy this in natural ways, by stop intimidating women into sex, lying to them, pretending they care. Have sex with other men or your hand.

And now those in charge want to reduce overpopulation by MURDER. Typical male logic. There is no end to this & there never will be until the final solution of Mother God comes closer – the extinction of men. Maybe in a few thousand years their numbers will diminish to a point where we can control the rabid dogs. And I apologize to the dogs. Rasa

Pete Jackson says: And recently I was reading about how there are still overpopulation deniers, most notably XXXXX. He actually has the GALL to say that people aren’t having enough kids! Seriously. Or at least not enough to colonize Mars, one of his biggest ambitions. (Facepalm) I do like other things about him, and think he is a genius overall, but he has a MAJOR, MAJOR blind spot in that regard, much like the late Stephen Hawking (with an IQ nearly 200) denying the existence of God. XXX really has his head in an anatomically impossible position, lol.

In Western (i.e. rich) countries, and even some not-so-rich countries, birthrates have been plummeting for a while now, because Women are FED UP. And that is a GOOD thing on balance, not something to fear. The two best, and ethical, ways to solve overpopulation is 1) Female Empowerment, and 2) poverty reduction, and the rest will follow. And make birth control free and readily available as well. No coercion or murder needed.

And yes, the root cause of overpopulation is indeed MEN. They are the ones who force, coerce, deceive, manipulate, and brainwash Women into having so many kids that they otherwise would not have had. Then they either ditch them, or if they do provide at all, there are always strings attached to whatever they provide. How very phallocentric of them.

One thing that came to mind is penetrocentrism in particular. FWIW, I recently saw a study from 30 years ago that found that, contrary to popular opinion, 50% of Women actually prefer non-penetrative sex instead of penetrative sex, while 30% have no strong preference either way, and only 20% of Women actually prefer to be penetrated. There are thus many ways for a man to pleasure a Woman, or even enjoy mutual pleasure, that literally do not involve any risk of pregnancy whatsoever. But in contrast to what 80% of Women want, the particular sex act that MEN demand the very most of all, that is, PIV intercourse, just so happens to be the one that has the very worst risk-reward ratio for Women, especially when so many men refuse to wear condoms, usually for purely hedonistic reasons.

Also, about the Akha people of Laos, you are indeed correct that it is not tradition vs. modernity, but patriarchy vs Matriarchy that is the real question here.

From William Bond: Hi Everyone

The way I see this is to go back to basics. Males have a strong competitive and aggressive instincts. While women have a strong maternal and nurturing instincts. This is because females need a strong maternal instinct to want to give birth and love and care for the children she gives birth to. Males on the other hand have a strong competitive and aggressive instinct to fight and compete against other men for the chance to impregnate females.

To quote Abraham Maslow, “If the only tool you have is hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail”. So if you have men ruling a country and there is a dispute with another country the obvious solution for aggressive men, is war and even genocide. But if we have women ruling countries then in any dispute with other countries then women will first want to talk it over and find a solution that way.

If we go back to the stone-age they they had hunter/gather tribes. Women collected the majority of food by gathering plants, men on the other hand preferred to find food by killing animals. Anthropologists studying stone-age tribes that have survived up until modern times found that the majority of food was gathered by women, hunting was a unreliable way of obtaining food and in some places it was more of a sport for men than a real help to the tribe.

Another thing that anthropologist discovered was that women nearly did everything. They not only gathered most of the food, they carried water, they built the huts and looked after the children. The only thing men did apart from hunting was to fight other tribes in tribal wars. I read a report of one Anthropologists studying Amazon tribes and she found that many had the insane custom that boys couldn’t become men until they killed another men in another tribe. This custom insured that there was perpetual war between the tribes.

Modern man still has the same attitude except we now fight wars with more deadly weapons and we are in danger of destroying ourselves with nuclear weapons. War is also the reason why we have overpopulation. A tribe or country becomes more powerful if it has a bigger army of young men in which to fight wars.

This was shown in Ancient Greece. In the warring states of Ancient Greece the most powerful was the Spartans. The Spartan boys were taught to be warrior from early childhood and they became a formidable army on the battlefield, but they had one weakness. Spartan women were held in high regard in Spartan society and were free to have as many children she wanted. Because of this the population of Sparta didn’t grow and even declined as warriors who died were not being replaced.

They customs of other Greek states was completely different. Women didn’t have control over how many children they had. They couldn’t refuse their husbands sex, they couldn’t use birth-control and rape was never punished. As the result the population of Sparta declined, while the population of other Greek states grew and Spartan warriors found themselves fighting battles where they were heavily outnumbered and their power and influence declined until they were finally conquered by Rome.

The same thing happened to Russia in modern times. The Soviet army did more to destroy the German army in WW2 than any other army. This was because they greatly outnumbered the German army and once they got themselves organized, were able to crush the Germans. But since WW2 the Russian population has been in decline. This is because the Communists did away with the custom of the Russian Orthodox Church which were similar to Roman Catholic customs about banning birth control.

Russia Communists recognized this problem and tried to make it easier for women to give birth through state health care. They even gave medals to women who had many children. But the population still declined and this may be one of the reasons why Putin restored the Russian Orthodox Church after the fall of Communism in Russia.

The Muslims also have similar customs about not allowing women to use birth control and tuning a blind eye to rape. They claim they will be able to conquer the whole of Europe through immigration and that Muslims populations in Europe will grow bigger while Native Europeans will decline and so Muslims will in time become the majority and take over.

While men rule the world they will always be at war and inflict pain and suffering to our world. They only solution is for women to rule our world if we are to live in a world of peace and harmony. William

From Pete Jackson:

Very well-said, both of you.

William, to your last letter I would also like to add that more recently, even for Muslims birthrates have also been dropping as well. It is taking a while but is nonetheless happening for them as well. Again, Women are FED UP.

There was a book a few years ago called “How Civilizations Die (And Why Islam Is Dying Too)”, who painted falling birthrates as a bad thing. But truly it is not civilizations that die, it is patriarchy that is dying.

From William Bond: Agreed Pete, Muslim women exposed to Western ideas do get fed up and question what they have been taught. The same is true of Italy which is strongly Roman Catholic the birthrate is falling because women are now better educated and question the Church’s teachings.

The point is that patriarchy only want large populations so they will have larger armies of young men to use as ‘cannon fodder’, in which to fight wars. William

From Rasa Von Werder:
Good intelligent remarks both of you, & I will add some.

Dr. Bryan Sykes said the following: Not only does it compromise the child’s immune system when the woman stops breast feeding it prior to age SIX – to have another child – but the child suffers intense psychological trauma by being weaned. We wean children as early as possible as men force us to have the next child. Children need psychological / emotional support as well as physical – to give them security, a sense of ‘all is right’ & the quality of LOVE. When a mother weans a child too soon it feels REJECTION. Biology helps women take care of children to the max as her SEX DRIVE DIMINISHES for the years a baby is a toddler – until it can walk & keep up with the tribe. Dr. James Prescott also explains that babies SUFFER ATTACHMENT DISORDER from lack of closeness / bonding with the Mother in the formative years. This disorder leads to a number of maladies such as anxiety, depression, sexual disorders, homicide, suicide & substance abuse later in life.

He notably says that children need PHYSICAL CLOSENESS to the Mom including SKIN to SKIN contact for prolonged periods of time in order to FEEL WELL & mature properly. Rocking is also crucial – I have seen all sorts of devices used for rocking in primitive societies including Tibet & Siberia. Rocking is similar to when a child is in the womb, the mother moves about, & when a Mom carries the child in a case or papoose, obviously it rocks as the woman walks – this is necessary for brain & nervous system development.

The Patriarchs don’t even THINK of that. When male doctors took over the management of children, God help the kids in orphanages. There docs told the nurses not to touch the children except when feeding or diaper changing. All the children DIED. I saw studies on You tube from the 50’s where orphan children were LEFT ALONE most of the time & they just stared vacantly like ghosts. We need STIMULATION, CONTACT & COMMUNICATION with a caregiver in order to grow up healthy.

These factors are not attended to in a Patriarchal society. The idea is quantity, not quality of life, which we agree, is for men to have bigger armies. They don’t care if the soldiers are dysfunctional – as long as they obey orders – in fact, Kay Griggs, the whistleblower who was informed by her Col husband, says they want them to be so so they will be better killers.

Our society is pandemic with attachment disorder as none of us fully gets the nurturing we need from a maternal, loving Mother & society. Mothers are DISABLED from having full charge & management of their children.

Back to what William said, men have one agenda, women the opposite. Men want to KILL while women want to GIVE LIFE & LOVE. It’s necrophilia vs biophilia. Rasa

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Dancing Priest & Stripping Preacher

Chapter 6 The Stripper for God meets the Dancing Priest – & other thoughts on the priesthood

written 7-21-22

Father Thomas Smith Ordained: 1951 Died: 2015 age 90

From the internet: Father Thomas Smith, known as the “singing and dancing priest” was ordained in 1951, and served in the Diocese of Pittsburgh. He started out in a career on stage, performing at clubs in New York City before entering the seminary. He continued to perform while based at a McKeesport parish, in local nightclubs, at church dinners and church fundraisers into the 1990s. {Rasa says: he did more than ‘local’ clubs, he appeared at some hot spots. See his David Letterman Show on You tube.}

My Account: On March 19, 1979, I was booked into the Sheraton Hotel, Pittsburgh, PA. I heard about ‘the Dancing Priest’ from a tabloid, was excited about him, & determined to meet him as he was in that area. His church was fairly close to the Hotel & I took a cab daily to go there – I went to Mass most every day anyway, on the road or at home.

So I find his Church & go. There were so few daily attendants that he held the Mass in the rectory – about 5 people showed up, all women.

He asked each of us what we were dedicating our Holy Communion for & I said, ‘Souls in Purgatory.’ I recall how this older lady glanced at me, startled. I was young so she probably figured how unusual for a young person to care about them.

When Mass was over I told him I had heard about him & that surprised him a lot. He seemed slightly uncomfortable, as apparently few people there knew he was ‘the Dancing Priest.’

He was gracious & invited me to his residence right next to the church – can’t recall if it was just coffee or if we ate breakfast.

When I had to go to the rest room I was directed by one of his servants upstairs, she stood at the foot of the stairs to make sure I went the right way. I went the wrong way & passed a bedroom that was decorated in all red – his room? Like a bordello, I thought.

We chatted a few minutes & he had to rush off somewhere, giving instructions to two lady servants what work to do.

I was impressed & on Real People it shows he’d recruited 2 other priests to take part in an act sometimes. One funny line was,

A guy says 34-24-36 & Fr. cries, ‘Bingo!’

The priests, one of whom was chubby, seemed to be having fun & I was happy for them.

One lady servant lingered for a minute talking to me & I asked her about plans, & she looked into the sky sort of wistfully, & said

“Something big is coming up”

but wouldn’t tell me what. It could have been ‘Real People’ as I saw him there subsequently, or maybe David Letterman.

I recently saw the Letterman show & he conducted an intelligent & informative interview. Letterman was nervous. Then he sang with his band – he was good, & he moved well & dressed nicely. I liked the line where he said something like,

“Billy Sunday, Billy Graham & Bishop Fulton J. Sheen, step aside!”

I know it took nerve to say the Bishop’s name, as the CC might get mad. {Bishop Sheen was without fault, being canonized now – he helped me with my Mom through her last 3 weeks in Purgatory – probably because she made us watch his show. He was angelic.}

Fr. Tom admitted his act was a way to get people’s attention toward the Church. All his lyrics were special – designed that way – He didn’t do standards. He was one of a kind, & a good egg. I’m glad I took the effort to meet him, R.I.P. Fr. Tom.

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William Bond & I Discuss the Priesthood

From William Bond:In your latest writings Rasa, it seems you were acting like a priest with the people you worked with in the stripper places. It reminds me of what Pamela told me.

She is Church of England and goes to Church every Sunday and she tells me she far prefers female vicars to male vicar, (there are some notable exceptions to this). And this doesn’t only apply to her but also seems to be the opinion of other people she meets at Church. She said that in the city where she lives people will travel across the city to go to Churches where there is female vicar and avoid most male vicars.

She claims with that, with a few exceptions, male vicars haven’t a clue how to talk to people and she predicts that if this trend continues, women will be taking over the Church completely. Which makes me wonder why women were banned as priests. Apparently before Christianity was taken over by the state they did have female priests and it suggests that the only way male priests could compete against women priests, was to ban them completely.

The Christian Church is in decline but perhaps women priests could reverse this. Pamela also reports the Church of England is now being politically correct and talking about a male and female God. So perhaps we could end up with Churches worshiping a female Mother God with a female priesthood.

An effective priest has to believe in God and prayer, to be a good communicator and listener and care about other people. Women are far more likely to be like this than men. I have read stories of career priests who have admitted they don’t men and care more for others. This is why I think once women are let into the priesthood of various religions they will end up taking over. This is why patriarchal religions had to ban female priests or priestesses. Pamela says this is happening in the Church of England over-here, but says there is resistance about women becoming bishops.

I don’t know if there is any chance of there being Roman Catholic female priests but as more Christian sects agree to this I’m sure they will be under pressure to do the same.

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From Rasa: OK I get what you mean then William. Then I’m a Priest or Priestess, like a Pastor, who tends his or her sheep, feeds them, protects them. This is what Jesus asked Peter to be, & I guess all his apostles or disciples. ‘His’ sheep means those of God.

Yes, I do see people as God’s sheep. And yes, we of God who are chosen have a duty to feed the sheep with n

nourishing thoughts & words – which is Truth. We must protect the sheep from predators – the lions, wolves & bears represent negativity, bad thoughts & feelings, & the demonic. We must take our sheep to green pastures where they will find life & water.

I see the Catholic Church diminishing greatly & I don’t think they will ever ordain women, that’s why they’ll shrink. If you can’t change or adjust to the ‘market’ you go ‘bankrupt.’ Once Kodak was the #1 photo institution, they even invented digital photography. But they failed to move ahead with the market, they slid back & eventually went bankrupt. The Catholic Church will fare the same. They will not ordain women because that would be a different Church entirely than what they are. They would rather shrink than fit, lol. So let them shrink, we don’t need them. The good within the Church will appear in other avenues, like my own religion. We will include all that is good in the Catholic, the Christian, The Yogic or Buddhist sects, the Wiccan / Pagan beliefs, into our religion. Something new will form, the good will not be lost. {End Chapter 6}

College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

I Strip for God Meaning

Chapter 5 from William Bond 7-19-22

Hi Rasa this is the article I have written about, “I strip for God”. William {Bond}

Rasa Von Werder once was a stripper under the stage name Kellie Everts, and in a strip-club she gave a religious sermon as part of her act. She called the act, “I strip for God” so what are we to think of this? Was it just a clever publicity stunt? Or just a joke? But Rasa Von Werder is a deeply religious and spiritual person so her sermons in this strip-club would reflect her strong spiritual beliefs and were not just comedy sermons.

She said what she preached in her sermons, was: “Love thy neighbor as thyself, do unto others as you would have others do unto you. Love God with your whole heart, soul & mind. Put God first, above all things. Think of your eternal life, the world & everything in it is temporary. Meditate on the eternal life. I also preached on the sufferings of Jesus & how this is an example for our own, to imitate him & have our sufferings bring great fruit.”

She also said that, “Stripping for God was an outgrowth of my love of God & wanting to do Her bidding. Wanting to save souls. Jesus said, “If you love me, feed my sheep,” – I fed His sheep.”

Many Christians might see this as being very scandalous, after all, many see a strip-club as a den of vice and so what was she doing preaching a sermon there? But this wasn’t much different to the behaviour and teachings of Jesus Christ, where in the Bible it is claimed he ate with tax collectors, prostitutes, and other sinners. Jesus once addressed the Pharisees with a sharp remark: ” I tell you the truth, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you ” (Matthew 21 verse 31). Rasa Von Werder wasn’t a prostitute although as a stripper she would have met many of them and once defended them on a TV show.

***Rasa says: The TV Show was “People are Talking” with Richard Bey in NYC. I was a member of a group of ‘Feminists & Prostitutes.’ There were all kinds of women in it: Ministers, authors {Kate Millet}, feminists, a lady Judge, porno ladies, strippers & genuine prostitutes.

We discussed allthe issues – it was interesting, The moderator had written a book which was really good – on how the system keeps women prostituting by fining them, thereby they have to keep working to pay the fines, while the police, judges & court make money off them.

After a couple months of weekly meetings I declared we should now go to the media & represent prostitutes & fight for their rights & respectability. They all shot me down – not a one of them wanted to work on this. So I did it ALONE. I got on this radio agent thingy & gave my spiel where he represented me to a dozen radio shows, saying I was a good interview, & I did them. Got a lot of flak but women also called in defending the business. It was worthwhile.

Then the People are talking Show wanted to do a bit on prostitutes. They got pro & cons. The cons were evident. The pro lady spoke through a screen, where you could only see her shadow. They wanted a real prostitute in the open – I knew one & recommended her. But she chickened out. I told them I would do the part, impersonating a prostitute. They were going to pay this real one 1k to appear, I didn’t care whether they paid me or not, so I didn’t demand the money. I only cared about helping women in their plight.

But they said to me,

“You must be a real prostitute to do the show, it can’t be impersonation.”

So I said, “OK, put me down as a real prostitute, but I’ll wear a different wig & sunglasses.”

Of course everyone knew who I was – I’d done this show a dozen times. My voice & body, the way I spoke, it was obvious. My catch word was,

“Prostitutes are PEOPLE. And I explained that in Patriarchy, we women are prostituted in hundreds of way, don’t pick on the sex therapists, they are only one version of it. Married women get paid for sex. This one married woman objected, so I said,

“Stop having sex with your husband & se if he continue giving you money.”

She looked chastened. She knew I was right. And I think the producers should have given me the 1k – They used me. I should have demanded it. Because I put myself on the line for them – they were desperate. But like I said, I really wanted to help the women.***

So as a Christian woman Rasa Von Werder was following the teachings of Jesus in her “I strip for God” act. But there is more to Rasa Von Werder than this, she is also interested in matriarchy and wants to create a matriarchal religion which she talked about in her web-site, “Woman Thou Art God”. So how does her “I strip for God” act relate to matriarchy?

What is consistent with most patriarchal religions is that they fear sexual women. So we find the most extreme patriarchal religion, which is Islam, cut off the clitorises of women so they cannot enjoy sex and makes them cover-up their bodies and faces from being seen by men. So why would patriarchy go to these extreme? It suggests they fear women’s sexuality.

Rasa says: Don’t forget the Africans do this also, possibly not all, but some. There was a female African going from tribe to tribe with education. She had a plastic dummy of a vagina & explained what was being done, that it was wrong. At times she had to run for her life. They got crazy women to grab these girls – for a pittance, two of them hold her down, while they removed her clitoris with razor blades. Sometimes the women got infections & died. Yes, heinous. Patriarchy is insane. Circumcision is also serious mutilation & child abuse. It cuts off thousands of nerve endings that would later give the male pleasure.

The reason might be to do with the power relationship between men and women. It is obvious that men can easy gain power over women through violence and intimidation because men are bigger and stronger than women. But women can gain power over men through love and sex. Nearly all men want a relationship with loving, sexual women and because men want this so much, a clever women can use this need and desire to gain power over men. But even if a loving women doesn’t do this, men who appreciate living with loving women will show it, by doing every thing that can for them. So because of this, patriarchy does it’s best to sabotage the power women have over men.

Unfortunately, men who follow patriarchal customs can lose out of having a loving relationship, because patriarchal customs encourage men to treat women so badly, that many women became angry with men and this suppresses their loving instincts. As the result, many men end up getting married to women who do not show any love towards them and don’t want sex. So patriarchal customs benefit neither men nor women.

All young men strongly desire women who will have sex with them. But patriarchal customs tell them that women who do this are sluts and whores and should be treated with contempt. Men following this custom don’t realise this works against their best interests, because women know about these customs and it strongly discourages many women wanting sex with men. Resulting in a lot of men having to go to prostitutes to find women who will have sex with them. In the past it encouraged men to get married to women who remained a virgin and generally had a negative attitude about sex.

Rasa says: When I was teen, you couldn’t win no matter what you did. They had you as whore or slut if you did it, if you did not, you couldn’t get a boyfriend. This Patriarchy has everything wrong & backward because it’s the female that’s supposed to rule the family & the world, so all our customs & rules are upside down. Patriarchy is all lies, no truth to it, it’s all wrong in all ways.

The irony of this, is that patriarchal religion praise women who don’t have sex. Like nuns, who are supposed to never have sex with any man. Yet people who have had nun teachers at school, report horrendous stories of how cruel these nuns were to the children they teach. While prostitutes who are condemned by patriarchal religions as being ‘sinners’, there are many reports of them having hearts of gold. Obviously, not all nuns are cruel women and not all prostitutes have hearts of gold but it shows that being denied of sex doesn’t make women more loving and caring, or women using sex to earn a living, doesn’t always make them less loving people.

Rasa says: As a 5 year old, I was put into a CatholicSchool, thank God, for only a short time. The nuns were cold & mean. But when I went to Catechism, contemplative nuns in long robes taught us & I adored them, obeyed every word they said. Later in life, when I was fighting for women to be ordained, I met nuns. I also had my daughter in a Catholic Private School. Then I met nuns in my area, who judged me & refused to be friends because of my being in the adult trade. Some of these women seemed confused & troubled. Maybe they were sexually abused as children & sought to get away from men. But of these women, the lesbians seemed to be happy – they are in their element, living with women, what’s to be sad?

Women tend to see sex in terms of giving and receiving love and try to teach men to see it in the same way. But men are taught by patriarchal customs to see sex in terms of dominance and submission or even sadism and masochism. So men use to be told in Christian countries and still in Islamic countries that a man wasn’t a ‘real’ man if he couldn’t dominate his wife using violence and intimidation.

The result is that when women view pornography on the Internet many are shocked to find it is more about dominance and submission or even sadomasochism than about love. And even when women in these porn films do demonstrate loving behaviour, it is still viewed through the framing of submission and masochism. So patriarchal religions and societies do there best to separate sex, love and religion from each other. So what would happen if sex, love and religion were combined with each other? It seems that this did happen in the past.

Rasa says: About pornography: The men who run these movies are subhuman, I’ve met them, although I never made a porno movie. I ran my own business for ten years with X rated videos, but they were not porn, they were female domination. As I said, the type of men who create these videos, whom I met, are less sensitive than animals, & they represent what sex is in their own minds – subhuman. The movies they make are gross, ugly & disgusting. Women want romance, which is a combination of love & sex. Just ordinary sex is the same as the average animal or insect does, it is not inviting or beautiful.

In India today western tourists are shocked to discover in some Hindu temples the walls of the temples are covered in pornographic carvings. It seems that before Christianity the priestesses of Goddess temples where condemned by patriarchal priests for being ‘temple prostitutes’. This was because the priestesses use to openly have sex with the men who come to these temples. There are also reports that in ancient pagan temples, sex was part of their rituals.

But the way the priestesses of these Goddess temples viewed sex was probably a lot different to the way patriarchal priests saw it. All life comes to our world within the bodies of females. So the priestesses in Goddess temples would celebrate all aspects of this, like menstruation, the sexual act, pregnancy, child-birth and breast-feeding. The patriarchal priests had a different view on all this. Menstruation was seen by them as being ‘unclean’, they condemn sex as being ‘dirty’. In some cultures pregnant women were shut away, even child-birth was seen as sinful and babies had to be baptised to, “clean them of the sin of being born of a woman”. While even to-day breast-feeding is still seen as shameful and women are encouraged not to do it in public.

Rasa says: In those days sex was Sacred, women ran the game, they made it so. When women were degreaded, sex became ugly, perverted & dirty. That’s with men running the show, that’s what they do with sex – they make it ugly.

So love would be the strongest theme in any Goddess religion governed by priestesses. Patriarchal religions sometimes talk about love, but that’s all they do. Many of the actions and teachings and customs of patriarchal religions are not very loving, as they condemn, punish and even kill people who don’t agree with them.

Rasa says: Everything males take over, including religion, becomes corrupt, because men are not supposed to rule. All their institutions become twisted, perverted, upside down, delusional & exploitative. Their religions are filled with corruption.

The teaching of Jesus was very loving and he claimed that God is a loving Father God, but this concept never caught on and many Christians prefer the judgmental and punitive God of the Old Testament. We find that in the pantheon of gods and goddesses in many pagan religions love is always represented by a goddess. So if god is the god of love then it make a lot of sense that She is a Goddess. And this is what we find on Rasa Von Werder’s web-site when she calls God, MotherGod.

Rasa says: Look at the hate their religions preach, hate of homosexuals, hate of sex therapy workers, hate of women who have sex when they want to. They hate women, the bottom line. And yet women are fooled into joining these religions & let these haters control their minds & bodies. It’s sick. The Catholic Church not permitting condoms is sick – women can get AIDS, other diseases, & of course, unwanted pregnancies. Then they are condemned for abortions. Let’s end Patriarchy & make the world straight again.

Mystics talk about the Oneness of God and that we are all One. We don’t find this in any male god because the masculine is all about competition and aggression. True Oneness only comes through love, which is feminine and so for this reason the true nature of God is feminine. Once we realise this, then it is a lot easier to communicate with Her and to receive Her help and guidance.

The point is that if we want to live in a more loving and caring world then we need more loving and caring people in all positions of power, we don’t get this when while men rule our world. This is because in the patriarchal system the worst types of people seem to end up in positions of power. It is the same in religions where we find the leaders of nearly all religions are not spiritual people and just use religion to gain wealth and power.

It is true that not all women are loving people and there are many loving men in our world. But overall women have powerful maternal and nurturing instincts and it is these instincts that make women on the whole, more loving people than men. So we all would be better off if we were able to vote for matriarchal political parties and were able to join goddess religions that worship female deities and have a female priesthood.

***Rasa says: The worship of Mother God & female priests is coming. Jesus himself ordained me, & I say the Holy Mass. I want to encourage all women in the Grace of God to become priestesses & say the Holy Mass for the departed, it is ENORMOUS help to them. I have gotten thousands out of Purgatory this way.

Good work William, thanks for this great article.*** {End Chapter 5}

College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

FEMALE B BUILDING II

Randy Roach wrote:

To:‘Rasa Von Werder’

Mon, Jul 11 at 9:20 AM

My chapters end basically through the late 1980s

The “they” I am referring to are those you were railing about yourself years ago who do not take you seriously in terms of bodybuilding and have pretty much ignored your presence in the sport.

I write a little on Wayne’s and Karen’s marriage in other chapters I still wish to publish. Those are the ones I was referring to as to which chapters I should finish first based on following Volume III, Book1

Betty was nothing more than cheesecake for Joe. By the time the Weiders began acknowledging female bodybuilding she was already into her 40s. From what I can recall, it did not appear as though she ever lifted a weight albeit she probably did to some degree. Later with the acceptance of female bb Betty was portrayed as an older woman who lifted weights for health benefits.

BTW, did you ever read the Weider’s book “Brother’s in Iron”? What a cartoon.

More from Randy Roach:

Also, if Charles Gaines can not be reached for whatever reasons I will give you something you can print such as for an example:

In his pending book on female bodybuilding, Randy Roach has written that Charles Gaines told him he attended the 1974 Mr. Olympia and witnessed me posing up against Arnold and being forced off the stage. He told Randy he was amazed that I would pull such a stunt.

Rasa answers:

OK the statement from Charles Gaines sounds slightly twisted, but I am grateful for it anyway. Thank you. It sounds like I was competing with Arnold. This is not true. It was the end of the show where all the champions posed, it was all finished except the bravos for the winners. I had won two trophies in Miss Americana – 2nd place & BEST BODY. { I usually won best body in the WBBG & IFBB contests. Frequently the winners were politically chosen, so I got second place even though – these were body contests mostly – I had the best body & they admitted it.}

I was not posing ‘up against’ Arnold. He was on the edge of the stage, I simply got up for two reasons. One, I was one of the champions, albeit a woman. I deserve to pose with the champions. In this way I made a statement for the women: We are champions also. We are not second rate or insignificant.

I was not forced off the stage ambiguously by anyone except Arnold, who wanted no images with him & I together, for one thing. I did not think it out ahead of time & should have posed on the other side of him, lol. The statement sounds like someone from the authorities of the show forced me off the stage for pulling a ‘stunt’ – like what I did was inappropriate.

OK, I did something no other woman had done. Yes, I am ballsy, but that’s what it took for women to achieve equality with men. I did it for all women. And Arnold, not a gentleman, treated me like a male competitor. No decent man would have done what he did. He is NOT decent.

I am the kind of woman who broke down the iron doors for women – I kicked it open for them, they kicked me in the ass. The women followed power, which they wanted a piece of. I helped them get it. But they did not acknowledge the one who broke the door down, they followed the Weider narrative which was only those who bent the knee to them – be it physically, economically, emotionally, politically, got recognition. For example, Doris B. She kow towed to both Weider & Lurie, she was a mealy mouth double agent. Lurie gave her a magazine of her own! She FAILED, the magazine did not sell because she was not capable of running it. Why did he not give me the magazine? It could have been successful. Because look at my success rate. Now in the Weider rendition of the history of female body building, they praise Doris but ignore me, they speak of her early publication which was just a provincial news piece, probably a circulation of 100 if that. I had from 1975 to 1979 reached untold millions for female body building. So she was ‘one of them’. She even betrayed her friend Rachel McLish. Somebody started some nonsense about Rachel wearing a padded bra bikini, & she dutifully checked & said yes, the material was kind of thick or words to that effect. If she was her friend she should have said, ‘That’s ridiculous, who cares if her bra is padded? Don’t look at her bra, look at her body.’ But instead she cooperated with them. This is shown right in the move, ‘Pumping Iron, the Women.’ I was disgusted & felt pity for Rachel – to be humiliated like that.

If you get to speak with Charles Gaines again ask him the following:

“Who forced Kellie off the stage, & how? She says Arnold de facto pushed her off by getting closer & closer to her to the edge until she had to jump off”

“What do you mean by she pulled a stunt? Was this not the spot where all the champions posed, at the end of the show? Wasn’t she one of the champions?”

“She said she was simply posing as a champion, not against Arnold or anyone. She did it for the women to have equal rights.”

This is when female body building went into decline:

American Media, Inc., Agrees to Acquire Weider Publications,

NEW YORK–(BUSINESS WIRE)–Nov. 27, 2002–American Media, Inc. Evercore Partners and Weider Health and Fitness announced today that they have reached an agreement for AMI and Evercore to acquire Weider Publications, Inc. and its related properties for aggregate consideration of $350 million. Randy says it started to decline prior to that & Rasa says: On second thought, when looking at the dates, yes, it was already in decline, this was the nail in the coffin.

From Randy Roach, {from his future book on female body building}

Rasa, this is a quote from you that precedes What Charles said.:

…Seeing Arnold on the far right of the platform, I decided it was perfect. I wanted to get up next to him and pose. I had to summon my courage, because this wasn’t your usual routine. The other women never thought of doing such a thing. I jumped up and began posing beside Arnold. He was totally absorbed and didn’t acknowledge me at all, but his vibes were definitely cold. Arnold began posing against me like one of his fellow competitors as they jostle for best position to the judges. He would hit a pose and I would follow. He was very good at this and he kept inching me closer and closer to the edge of the stage until I had to jump from the stage rather than be knocked off.”

This is what surprised Charles that you would go over and pose against him until he forced you to jump from the stage. Charles said nothing wrong nor was he nasty or critical of you. No one saw anything like that in 1974 so it was a bit of a shock to him.

Rasa says: About female bb ending – Yes, as I looked at the dates, you are right. How do you place the end of female bb? I put it with Kim, after that a downhill deal. Then the bitter end. But they deserved it {the women} because, IMO, they repudiated me & parroted the Weider narrative. {You don’t know what I went through when I returned to speak on body building forums & groups in 2006. I was ATTACKED by women from all angles – the women who were respected in the field. My insider was ‘George Legeros,’ a photographer. He gave me scoops on what had gone on those many years I no longer participated. He said many things, like Weider dealing against the law in employment, not allowing his professionals to compete elsewhere – that breaks the law. To be his professional if you entered someone else’s contest you lost your pro card.

My version of what transpired on the stage with the champs? My memory has a slightly more edited version because I’m more aware of my intentions. Even my own observation might be skewed, then. I can understand then how it looked, if I imitated anything Arnold did. I wish I had some images. There had to have been images taken.

However, the images taken would all have been by WEIDER PEOPLE. How do I know? I gave free tickets to DENIE, who was taking shots for Muscle Training Illustrated of Dan Lurie. He was approached by the Weider people & told he was not allowed to take pictures. In a huff, he & his wife walked out. Wrong move. I was pissed. He should have stayed & taken the pictures on the sly. Therefore, any pics taken most of them – perhaps not all – would have been by Weiders & they were ordered NOT to disseminate anything with Arnold & me, especially those which might put him in a bad light – pushing a woman off stage.

There were probably amateurs taking shots, but I don’t have access to that. After my movie comes out they will come out of the woodwork.

When I was dancing / preaching in Toronto a journalist movie – maker was there many days. Each day he shot from a different angle, obviously planning a future movie. This will some day come out – when my name is in lights again.

To add to what I said about tyrants, once they’re dead the truth comes out, all the bad stuff. When people are no longer afraid of Weider & Arnold, more & more negative things will surface. Their reputations will go downhill. Weider will be a laughing stock. Arnold, you will see all his flaws as never before. But my story will be exonerated. People will look at the facts with logical spectacles & the dates don’t lie. And then they’ll know I was pushed out of their version of history because I cuckolded Arnold. It will be a comedy. It was all about that, years of revenge. Arnold is like the Godfather. If you wronged him 30 years prior he’ll come & get you. He never forgets, he has to destroy who opposed him. Yes, I studied his life & read some of his books & many articles. Yes, I fought back & no, I will not fold up like Mike & Ray Mentzer.

BTW the reason Mike M couldn’t take it he was an atheist. Without God where does one get their strength? Nowhere. Who & what is God? God is all good – Our greatest good. Faith, hope, trust & confidence in God bring those Blessings to us. Without these aspirations, we have nothing to hold onto. We even become the devil’s playground. And so Mike & Ray went downhill not for physical reasons but mental/emotional/spiritual ones. They believed in evil – that they were washed up. Then they had nothing to live for, so they died. Mike & Ray, all they had were Weider magazines. That’s all there was. They were cut off after challenging Arnold. Their only aspiration in life was to be stars & this was through the Weider magazines. So when that ended, they ended.

I was depressed after they repudiated me, ignored me. I felt left out, I demoralized. How ungrateful could the world be? Then I remembered, the world isn’t fair. My mother wasn’t fair. She forced me to carry on after hating me to death. The Holy Virgin replaced her in my mind. Jesus & his Cross sustained me. I died with him & rose again.

Same thing with the body building situation. Against all odds, suddenly, Dan Lurie comes back with Doug Going running the show. I plead my case. I write up the entire history, dates, times, facts, only the facts. I present it to them & the world. They have a reunion where they give awards, & I get the award called ‘Progenitor’ – the foundress of modern competitive female body building. I won, but I had to fight for it. No one can take it away. They tried – George Legeros, my insider, turned against me. Why? He found out I was against Patriarchy, pro Matriarchy, & he wanted to dominate women, so he turned against me. He tried to persuade Dan to rescind the award, luckily Doug Going talked Dan into staying firm. Case closed, end of story, I am exonerated. But it took faith, work, & confidence in God.

Weider & Arnold were not on God’s side. Revenge, so the saints say, is a grave sin. Even when they crucified Jesus neither He nor his Holy Mother took revenge – it is a heinous sin that separates the wrong doers from loving souls. Revenge drags us down into a Hellish place. That’s where these guys were & are. But I must add, although Jesus & Mary did not take revenge, the Almighty did. King Herod died of a horrible disease where his intestines filled with worms & were crawling out. The High Priest Ciaphas went insane. Pontius Pilate’s wife left him & joined the Holy Women. The dead left their graves & walked the streets, the curtain {like 2 floors high} of the temple ripped from the top down – a phenomenon. Things happened when the time was ripe. Karma is powerful, nothing can stop karma.

I predict that the cuckolding of Arnold by me will become known & will be a joke like the ‘No wire hangers’ cliché. Franco caught us in the act back stage, then Arnold interrupted Franco & me in their room. All the world’s a stage & this is entertainment. When it comes down to it – movies & such, is what is ironic, funny, bizarre, crazy works. Bland stuff like everyday life doesn’t. They will become characters in my life as all my abusers are. I will make money off them, lol. What a joke. Why did I take it so seriously?

Who is Randy Roach & What has He Done?

https://www.amazon.com/Muscle-Smoke-Mirrors-Randy-Roach/dp/1434376788

He’s the author of “Muscle, Smoke & Mirrors,” in 3 volumes, the definitive, accurate, detailed encyclopedia on male body building.

His work is a miracle accomplishment, never before done or will be surpassed – because the account is perfect & cannot be improved. In reading it, I was absolutely amazed & blown away by what he did, & on top of that, Randy Roach is blind!

He interviewed hundreds of people from all angles of the Game & found out secrets that most of us, even those in the field, had no inkling of.

All I can say is bravo, congratulations, God speed; you have done a monument of truth in a genre that lived on lies. You took off the masks, the facades, the pretensions of some of the members of the Sport, especially its leaders. You told it like it is – a big change from the stories others perpetrated – It’s the truth, the truth, & nothing but the truth, Amen.

College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Female Body Building

Discussion on Female Body Building

From Randy Roach

July 8 2022

We had discussed this years back Rasa. A collaboration between you and I would be the worse case for both of us. Look what they have done to you already. They would just pull me down with you. Your best bet is for me to remain as I have, that is totally independent. Having an independent source giving you a place in History is the best thing you can have. Remember, we did not agree on all things. I place you where I truly believe you fit into the full context of women and weights and competition through the 20^th century. I stay to that theme of women and weights and avoid much of anyone’s personal beliefs.

I have been listening through my chapters to see if or what I want to do with this material. Regardless, it will take some time as I have other drafted material regarding the battle between DeMilia and Weider that may or may not need to come first. I have to look to see which best follows on the heels of Volume III, Book1.

Regardless, It was Charles Gaines who saw you have to leap from the stage.

I did not see your letter until just now – how did I miss it? Have no idea.

The letter does not quite make sense to me, not sure how to answer.

How can ‘they’ pull you down? What can ‘they’ mess with? You are not included in anything the Weider people create or write, if that is ‘them.’ You are not acknowledged in any way by them now. So HOW can they destroy your work, hurt you, remove credit from your work? It baffles me so enlighten me.

The Weider organization is small potatoes now. They seem to have headquarters in Spain. Few people are interested or fascinated by them or their activities, male or female contests, because they & their doings are not promoted in any major magazines, TV that I know of – anywhere. Their movie, ‘Bigger’ was a flop. How do I know? because it’s being shown for free on You tube, I saw it. It is kind of HILARIOUS. Unless people are in love with the late Weiders or afraid of the shell that is left of their organization, they will either yawn or laugh. I laughed. It was hilarious & I was going to write my review or parody but something said it was NOT worth the trouble. I have bigger fish to fry – writing my entire life story, am into Part 8 now, which will be done within 2 months, then after that Part 9. There will be a movie or a series of movies like ‘Rocky.’

I need a collaboration of the FACTS – nothing else. There are some facts I’ve not been able to verify by witnesses. These are the facts I need underscored.

I need someone to say ‘Yes, I saw Arnold maneuver Kellie off the stage in 1974″ & I need someone to collaborate, “Yes, Weider {or Arnold} told us to put Kellie last place in Miss Olympia” & I need a witness to the fact that they were aware Weider or Arnold told them to photo shop me out of every picture of the Miss Olympia.

Your point of us remaining independent of one another is well taken – I do get it. But then again there’s free speech. People can draw their own opinions whether or not we are independent of each other. If we collaborated, how does that invalidate our work? We can work together without being unduly influenced by each other, can we not? You can still state your opinion & I mine. We can disagree, can we not? You can say in a collaboration, ‘Kellie & I disagree on this – I see it this way.’ But if you aren’t keen on doing this, I take it as it’s not meant to be.

One witness to the shenanigans of Arnold is Tom Minichiello of the Mid City gym. I don’t know if he’s still alive, but he wrote a book about Arnold disguised as a fictitious character, & it’s not flattering. He was an employee of Weider for a while, he got me into the first Weider contest in 1972, I applied through him & his gym. It was downstairs from the Roxy Theater where I worked, I saw a sign for the contest in the window & walked in.

Later when the premier of ‘Pumping Iron’ came out in NYC – they had Carol Baker walk up on the stage – not me, lol. I called Tom & asked why wasn’t I invited & he said, “Arnold didn’t want you there.”

He also told me Arnold didn’t want any pictures of him & me together, so there was one group shot from 1972 with all of us winners, Arnold there, me by the side – & Arnold stands the tallest on top & Tom cut his head off for the image, lol. But there were images in magazines where his head is NOT cut off, so I have both.

Aren’t you taking them too seriously? My place in body building has been acknowledged & accepted by the general public & media in spite of Arnold & the Weider org. Yesterday I looked on the internet & there are many places that pair me with Arnold – although I never lied about him, told only the truth, we had one incident back stage, sex wise. {But that moment in time brought me years of resentment from Arnold.} People are hungry for gossip & many sites pair me with him, as one of his flames. This does me a great deal of good because of his fame. So he has helped me in spite of himself.

Then you also say we discussed this years ago. I don’t remember what you said. Quoting you:

You said: Remember, we did not agree on all things. I place you where I truly believe you fit into the full context of women and weights and competition through the 20^th century. I stay to that theme of women and weights and avoid much of anyone’s personal beliefs.

I answer: What did we not agree on? Where do you place me in the full context of women & weights & competition through the 20th century?

OK so you don’t want any sort of collaboration. That is fine. But I would like you to answer these questions, or send me what you wrote about me, then I will understand. Can you do that?

Thanks for the info on the two guys. We shall see what God wants in all this.

Thanks for the discussions.

Things will change when my life story is produced for the movies. People will think twice about many things & these guys ‘pulling me down’ will no longer work against me, it will be fodder / drama for a movie, lol. Just like my Mom abusing me & getting other members of the family to do so – it makes my early life more interesting. I can laugh at it now. “Mommy Fearest” is the title for Mom.

Remember ‘Mommy Dearest’ & the star screaming at her daughter re wire hangers? It’s a cliche. Had it not been for this abuse the daughter would not have gotten the fame & fortune she made from the movie.

Arnold & Weider will be placed also as characters, {already have been in my writing} who were revengeful toward me for cuckolding Arnold, & their revenge, when you get past the hurt, is comical. Grown men pulling down a woman, denying her recognition because she preferred another guy to Arnold – damn immature. The public will say “What assholes.”

Although I must say, Rick Wayne wrote an article which he put in the Weider magazine, a whole page praising me being the originator for the concept of female body building – how that got past the censors I don’t know. Dave Robson reminded me of it, I must get a copy, maybe he can sent it to me.

Onward & upward. We both have work to do. You must train your clients & think about finishing your book. I must do what I do.

Oh yes, Bigger opens with this joke:

Ben Weider is sitting alone in a synagogue in front of his brother’s coffin with a runty reporter behind him & one of the things he says in honor of his brother is,

“He was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize.”

I laughed out loud because I know a lady who produces art that looks like grafitti, who became rich by marrying a rich man – & her art is shyt & so is she {I have reasons} & she was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize.

It’s like this – I looked it up – who can nominate someone:

Can anyone be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize?

The list of those who can submit nominations is long, including members of national governments; officials with international peace organizations; university professors of history, social sciences, law, philosophy, theology and religion; and former recipients.

So this lowlife lady has friends in high places, maybe a professor. I have friends also who are professors, maybe I should ask one of them to nominate me? Haha, it would be more logical than Ben Weider – after all, I preached in front of the White House which eventually ended the Cold War. I explained this on my Kellie Everts site. And I preach against war in many of my books. Here is the criteria:

What are the qualifications to be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize?

The prize should go to the person “who has done the most or best to advance fellowship among nations, the abolition or reduction of standing armies, and the establishment and promotion of peace congresses“, according to the will of Swedish industrialist Alfred Nobel, the inventor of dynamite, who founded the awards.

What in lisper’s paradise did Ben Weider do to eliminate war?

“Bigger” ends with the following: Zoom in slowly to a great mansion, we are told Joe Weider built a billion dollar Enterprize, & as we enter this palace, we see the Gods of bodybuilding on the walls – huge pictures of men like Mike Katz & Arnold, framed in gold, & I get the feeling with many of these men, these are the guys Joe Weider conned & exploited, made money off, & here they are enshrined, like ghosts in his house. It’s a Church of being in love with body builders & the male body, here we worship them.

And then you think of the truth. Joe Weider had thousands of people taking illegal drugs to get this way, they built themselves up by wrong doing with the law & with their health. Many fell by the wayside of ailments due to drugs, many died young, some are living with the ill effects of these drugs. All to snatch the prizes Joe Weider gave out, most got nothing but wasted their time, money, playing russian Roulette with their bodies to achieve results, but Joe Weider got richer all the while.

Weider made money through false advertising. The most sinister product of his organization was that he gave the impression that his supplements, products, produced these men. They did not, he knew it, but that’s how he made money. He stole the money. And all the while, to the very end, he hypocritically claimed he was AGAINST illegal drugs!

The women followed in the men’s footsteps & I heard one man say his girlfriend tried to compete – was told she better ‘take something’ or she wouldn’t have a chance. She made it elsewhere, on a TV show called ‘Gladiators’ if I recall rightly.

In other words, this body building empire of Joe Weider was built on false advertising & illegal drugs – case closed. And they want to pull me down? Not a chance. I have everything on

my side. God is Truth.

Rasa {Kellie Everts}

Randy says they ‘wouldn’t take him seriously if we collaborated.

Rasa says: OK they would not take you seriously. Who is THEY?

Do you mean the world? Or the tiny audience the shrunken Weider world still has? Or those who imagine wrathful Arnold would get’m?

Personally, I disagree but OK, you do your thing, which is really perfect, I do mine. We can remain friends, collaborate in the way of conversation, sharing knowledge & facts. We can keep different opinions, that is OK by me. I have learned so much from you it is amazing, the research you have done.

Because of your work I’m now investigating how does one get nominated for the Pulitzer Prize? When I get done writing my life story, which should be the end of this year, will you consider doing what it takes to get nominated for this prize? Because one must submit their work. It can be PDF files, each story must be an individual file. I have done a small bit of research & when the time comes, will do more. You can look into it yourself see if its worth anything to you. So thanks for everything.

One more thing – Your encyclopedia should be on Wikipedia. If a book is worthy, it can get put on there. All one can do is try. But yours truly deserves a spot. All living people get someone to put their stories on Wikipedia – I don’t think any of the living person’s stories are random, it’s all you know someone who knows how to do it, they do it for you. The historical figures, like say George Washington, are put on by history Professors. But living people is totally different.

Who is Randy Roach & What has He Done?

https://www.amazon.com/Muscle-Smoke-Mirrors-Randy-Roach/dp/1434376788

He’s the author of “Muscle, Smoke & Mirrors,” in 3 volumes, the definitive, accurate, detailed encyclopedia on male body building.

His work is a miracle accomplishment, never before done or will be surpassed – because the account is perfect & cannot be improved. In reading it, I was absolutely amazed & blown away by what he did, & on top of that, Randy Roach is blind!

He interviewed hundreds of people from all angles of the Game & found out secrets that most of us, even those in the field, had no inkling of.

All I can say is bravo, congratulations, God speed; you have done a monument of truth in a genre that lived on lies. You took off the masks, the facades, the pretensions of some of the members of the Sport, especially its leaders. You told it like it is – a big change from the stories others perpetrated – It’s the truth, the truth, & nothing but the truth, Amen.

College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Female Body Building Truth

Chapter 3 written 7-7-22

Hi Randy Roach,

I’m assuming your system reads the printed word to you? {Friends, Randy is blind, sometimes partially so, his sight returns once in a while}

OK then I feel more free to write.

You mentioned re female body building how popular Cory Everson was, Rachel McLish, then you mentioned Lenda Murray.

There is a HUGE DIFFERENCE between what I did, what my claim to fame was, what my mission or intent was, & the motivations & desires of myself & the women that followed.

When I entered female body building & promoted it, there was no such thing as female bodybuilding. Indeed there were the ‘freak shows’ or limited venues of strong men or women but in general, women did not aspire to lift weights, it was still a forbidden art, something frowned upon, chuckled at & taught that it was against the proper image of a female – we had to be feminine. To sacrifice our femininity was a mark against us, it pushed us to the fringes, it marginalized us like this belonged in a circus.

I was sent by God to help humanity – especially women, {I am recognized as an Avatar or Incarnation of God, like Ramakrishna & others – this is documented by hundreds of people who prayed to me & got results. It’s in the movie ‘Army of Mother God’, which was produced without my knowledge but used my pics & voice - on my website ‘Woman Thou Art God’ & in the 300 page book of testimonies ‘Guru Rasa & her Devotees’} & part of that mission was to disable Patriarchy with its agenda, its norms, its brainwashing & disempowerment of women – so that the Patriarchs could run amuck with their agenda.

Without disabling women the men who run the world could not do what they do – women would stop them, as women are the Mothers, the Care Givers of society. The women’s social order is called, by Mary Daly, ‘Biophilia’ the Culture of Life, while the male system she calls ‘Necrophilia’, the Culture of death.

Now my part was this, & I might add I was not always fully conscious of my deeper mission – God works in mysterious ways & had me do Her bidding, sometimes unconsciously, but over the years, the mission I embodied became more apparent, so that today I know that what women have to do is reanimate the masculine part of themselves which they once gave up & handed over to men. How was this done? By choosing, over the millennia, men with more & more aggression so that a part of them morphed into those commanding armies who kill for profit – while women shrunk into the shadows & sidelines, mostly taking care of men & kids. And so women, by

choosing macho men for partners, disabled themselves, & once men took over they degraded women more & more until it looked like there was no way out for women.

I was sent to lift women out of their degradation with a battle cry that said ‘Woman Thou Art God’ – Woman Thou art the leader of the planet. Just one phase of that was leading women to be ‘macha’ or dominant. They had to learn to be leaders again, they could not do this while being feminine / passive. To be feminine in a man’s world is equivalent to being an animal in a factory farm. These animals are taken care of & fattened up for the kill – So with women. Men grabbed all the resources, women had to bow & scrape to get a piece of the action, when women’s breeding / care giving days were over they were sent out to pasture or allowed to wither on the vine – good bye Grandma, we have no use for you, you are unattractive, weak, & you have no place in our society. Patriarchs make old women a moot point – by dint of their experience / knowledge they are a threat, so they must be silenced. I explained this thoroughly in two books, ‘Old Woman – Young Man – Why They Belong Together’ – Parts I & II.

And so, my mission is disparate from the female body builders who followed. I was the Lighthouse, the Voice calling to action from a HighTower. I was not particularly doing something for myself but for others. I did not seek personal gain or money – Never got one red cent from the body building leaders, but I do admit I was recognized by Dan Lurie’s WBBG, Dave Robson, Esquire, Playboy, TV Shows & many great venues. But the Arnold / Weider clan, who ran many magazines & were a monopoly on body building, male & female, have tried to remove me from history. Look on Wikipedia at the write up on the subject. I am not there. {It has to be them who wrote it.} No mention of the Esquire 6 page article, ‘Viva Machisma!’ the first of its kind in history, depicting female body building, July 1975. No mention of Playboy, August 1977, “Humping Iron’ & Playboy says, ‘To the barbells, girls!’ No mention of the national & local TV shows in between – To Tell The Truth, Mike Douglas, AM New York, AM Washington, Stanley Siegel – all before the first Miss Fitness Contest of 1979 – prior to Lisa Lyon, no mention of the contests I won for WBBG or IFBB – I won first place, second place, & BEST BODY in two WBBG shows & two IFBB shows.

I compare the late Joe Weider to Stalin. Stalin was not even at the major conflict of World War II – He sat comfortably & safely in his offices at home. But he hired an actor who looked like him to depict his being present at the greatest battle, a hero. The general public had no idea this was an actor. And so Stalin, having power, a media monopoly, rewrote history for his own glory & benefit. And Joe Weider, in agreement with Arnold, removed me from the history. And laughingly, puny & paunchy Joe Weider used Robby Robinson’s bust attached to his head & made a statue like so – which was used as an award for big contests – & put these pictures in his magazines– No one knew this was totally fake & phony. And so they did with my history – removing it & making a totally fake & phony account of how female body building got started. The truth is that in 1972 I called Joe Weider & tried to get him to put female body building in his magazines but he wasn’t interested. What would be the purpose, I suppose he thought. He jumped onto it only when my seminal work got it going – then it had a purpose – make money.

But I made no money on it. It was not about money for me, it was the exoneration of women & equal rights to be recognized as being fit, lifting weights, just like the men. I explained clearly in my book ‘The Origin & Decline of Female Body Building’ how women were treated like a side show, a bunch of bimbos or glamour dolls, rather than something serious, while the men were looked up to {in their own field – the rest of the world mostly laughed at them} & were given huge space in magazines & money – women got none of this.

I admit I received 10k for the first female body building book by a woman from Mr Stan & Mrs Jan Leitner, for the book ‘The Ultimate Woman’ – but this had nothing to do with body building organizations. They even advertised this book on the Phil Donohue Show for a week at great expense.

Now of course Joe Weider, once he got onto female body building, did it great good. He promoted women & their muscularity. Through my work getting it started, & his work promoting it, female body building affected the entire world – every facet of everything was touched. Olympic sports for women, wrestling & martial arts for women, women in show business, singers & actors, were getting fit – everything was touched. Gyms filled up with women lifting weights, girls & housewives started training.

And so what I did – & the body building magazines helped– did change the world for women, empowered women, brought a new fit style for women. My mission was accomplished.

But now to the subject of how the women that followed me were different.

When the women you mentioned entered the field – Rachel, Cory & the rest – it was for personal aggrandizement, not women’s rights. They were out for money, mostly. I remember wanting to vomit when the women started talking about what their demands were in conjunction to body building – It read like so,

“If these guys had any smarts, they would line up the offers for us to make money, endorsing supplements & equipment. They should be right there at the shows, see who wins, & make those offers.”

Please take note that Rachel McLish & Cory Everson were employees of Joe Weider. They were not struggling to start something new, they were paid. They were not idealists fighting for women’s rights. Cory Everson won the Miss Olympia again & again until she broke up with her husband, a Weider employee. When they divorced her career ended.

You say they were popular – of course they were. It’s promotion. This was show business.

These women cooperated with power for their own enrichment. I fought with power to land women a spot in their world, without pay – & later, no recognition. Somehow instead of accolades or a place of honor I got derision from women who followed. I opened the iron door for them & they kicked me in the ass – because they were told that was appropriate, I was not the foundress of female body building, I discredited it! Twist of facts that only a demon could create!

Now on another subject, I am wondering if women will ever follow me into ‘Stripping for God”. Over a period of 14 years I preached either before or after my dancing shows. No woman has ever done it, & will there ever be another one that does? – So far, no takers. It was the hardest thing I ever did, & without the Anointing of God, I could not have done it. This was another phase of my mission for female empowerment, you see the pattern. Women were looked upon as Madonna’s or whores – those in my business were the whores. Here I took the title whore off stripper, & replaced it by the name of God. We are honorable, we are not automatically sinners because of the trade. We can do what we do inside the Grace of God, we can minister & save souls. No woman has filled my shoes after that & I’m waiting.

Who is Randy Roach & What has He Done?

https://www.amazon.com/Muscle-Smoke-Mirrors-Randy-Roach/dp/1434376788

He’s the author of “Muscle, Smoke & Mirrors,” in 3 volumes, the definitive, accurate, detailed encyclopedia on male body building.

His work is a miracle accomplishment, never before done or will be surpassed – because the account is perfect & cannot be improved. In reading it, I was absolutely amazed & blown away by what he did, & on top of that, Randy Roach is blind!

He interviewed hundreds of people from all angles of the Game & found out secrets that most of us, even those in the field, had no inkling of.

All I can say is bravo, congratulations, God speed; you have done a monument of truth in a genre that lived on lies. You took off the masks, the facades, the pretensions of some of the members of the Sport, especially its leaders. You told it like it is – a big change from the stories others perpetrated – It’s the truth, the truth, & nothing but the truth, Amen.

to Randy from Rasa,

The whole body building world has turned into a travesty of health, beauty. It’s a freak show. Take drugs until you are so freaky people’s jaws will drop. Then you win contests & endorse products for health, haha, what a joke.

They completely forfeited their right to represent health. They are drug addicted, drug produced.

On the good side, women have proven that the male advantage, to some degree, is all in CHEMISTRY. Chemistry makes women like men- not in all aspects but in the aggression & muscles & partially in strength. Women still have the brain of a woman with the corpus collasum connections being numerous while men don’t – with the entire brain being awake while with men only half of it is – the back primitive part. But women on these drugs rage just like men, react like men to stress, go off on people when stressed, become violent when upset. And many physical characteristics. So through this experiment, this has been proven, so it is interesting.

Randy, I need to be exonerated. Who will write my story – the truth of the Origin of female body building?

Below, me age 67

How is the truth of history discovered? You might interview all the well knowns like Lisa Lyon, Rachel McLish, Cory Everson, Carla Dunlap, & Iris Kyle. Each one will tell you her story, why she is important, how great she is, all the contests she won.

What will be the truth? The dates. The work, the appearances. Every one of these ladies begins from 1979 onward. My work to establish this activity ended in August, 1977. After that, in 1979 I appeared on Real People before Laura Combes, & I appeared in Playboy ‘Humping Iron’ three years before Lisa Lyon. The dates WILL NOT LIE.

Neither Arnold nor Joe Weider were in favor of female body building until 1979 – by then I had gotten it into Playboy & Playboy, the bible of female beauty, said, ‘To the Barbells, girls!’ Arnold’s statements on the subject were in a magazine – I do not have a copy but I remember. Weider I told you I contacted in the early 70′s – it was 1972 – Eventually I got major trophies in 3 of his contests, one in Ca & two in NY.

If you are going to finish your book about the females, then you have to tell it like it is – not repeat the narrative of Joe Weider & his employees. His stars & winners were his employees, it was a monopoly. He’s dead but some of his spirit lives on with Arnold & what is left of his Empire. They still purport the narrative that is fake, leaving me out. I need an authentic journalist to speak the truth, not taking my word for it, simply checking the work & dates.

It goes like this: Esquire, 1975. Mike Douglas 1975. To Tell the Truth “75 or “76. AM New York, 1974, AM Washington, 1975. Stanley Siegel, 1975, ’76 {on 3 times, not sure of the exact dates}, Bill Boggs Show, 1976 {?} Some of the local shows I can’t recall exact dates. But these local shows were prestigious & had a wide audience. Playboy, August 1977. Real People, first female body builder, 1979. Between this there were many articles in magazines & radio.

Are you that authentic journalist or do I have to keep searching for him or her? Your work is perfect, you would write a perfect book, if you’re so willing.

Before Dan Lurie died he called me & told me some facts about Joe Weider & his world, which I will explain by phone.

If you’re willing to write the truth about me I think that writer’s block you developed re female body building will be removed. If you leave me out of the book or trivialize my importance such a book would be a travesty – a fake. It would tell the ‘Joe Weider’ story. It would not be accurate reporting & unworthy of you.

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

San Juan, Puerto Rico, 1977

Chapter 2 written 7-6-22

Lorraine Theater, San Juan, Puerto Rico, July 1977

This was the week Elvis Presley died, August 16, so sad.

I went to Puerto Rico after three years as a minister / community organizer in Williamsburg, B’klyn. I worked day & night – all day at the organizing & all evening my apt was open for religious education – I advertised to all but only people from age 7 to 25 gathered.

It wasn’t boring, I took them on long walks to the cemetery where we prayed the Rosary for Souls, bought them ice cream on the way back, treated them to chicken dinners at various times, took some of the girls by train to Westchester for sightseeing & to Radio City Music Hall. I spent my small earnings on the kids, it was worth it. I loved them as if they were my own. But after three years of working 12 hours a day I was so burned out at 30 I looked 50. My daughter was around eight then & said, “Mom, if you don’t quit, you’ll die.” To save my life I locked my doors after work & took off to far-away areas for basketball, which I’ve always loved, then quit the work & went back to dancing – the Puerto Rico job being the first..

While here I met stars & have pictures with them – Johnny Mathis & Shirley Bassey. I met a distinguished guy who’s name fails me – he took me to their concerts & introduced us back stage. Johnny M I had met before, right within the building where we both had offices, the Sunset-VineTower. My office was obtained by the phony con man, “Putz NutOn” {my name for him, see Part 3} who called himself “Prince Nahton” from India, the son of a Maharajah. He got the offices for free {big fancy ones, too} by conning the Vice President of the bank, a young, honey blonde hair sweetheart. He looked to be 25.

Aside:

{ NutOn could sing, tap dance, do hypnosis tricks, put a pin through his hand & make an ‘instant repair’ – he did shows on this – had newspaper articles – he played classical & boogie woogie on the piano, had more stories than the Brothers Grimm, which he professed to each new person he met, & repeated to ones he already knew again & again. After a year I had heard them all & he stopped repeating {to me}. He could do all this but HAD NO JOB & needed a roof over his head & food. I believe he LIVED at the offices he got for free – because I chatted with him there by phone at all hours of the night – even 3AM. And so, when he got me into his clutches he no longer slept at the office but with me. What a deal he got. He did I must say, con the landlord into giving me this nice apt, one bedroom with a shared porch, for $105. a month. Even in 1969 this was cheap. He USED his profession to survive, which was being a CON MAN.

Why did I give him a chance, when to me he was repulsive? He gave the impression he knew lots about mind-over-matter, metaphysics & hypnosis, using himself as my first guinea pig. I wanted to learn & while living in this place on a shoestring, quit work, {lived off meager savings} & tried all the fanatic programs this guy preached. He was astonished when I actually went four nights & days without food or coffee – sleeping only 1.5 hours a night, & being able to function. He kept preaching about it & I did it, through self hypnosis. But he actually got scared of me at this point, because I also reached the ‘still small Voice’ within, & my Voice guided me. He was no longer in control, he was frightened & awed, & knew the Voice was wiser than he & would take over. Which ‘it’ did – it was the Voice of God within me. And his craziness actually helped to get me there – as I practiced self hypnosis & extreme austerities it was like Jesus going to the mountain or Buddha into the jungle – or all the anchorites, hermits who stayed alone & ate little & saw no one – just prayed. {After he snagged me he stayed away late into the nights, meeting new people & getting them to the office for con job work. This included women – I saw my best lady friend dancer, Yolanda, enter the office just when I was leaving at the time he said I had to – the days were mine there, after 5 they were his – & he’d come ‘home’ after 12AM. So by his absenting himself, me practicing these disciplines, I was ALONE.} I had also become a FRUITARIAN, which he preached, for over a year, eating only raw fruits, nuts – not even greens – & shriveled down to 127 lbs on a 5’7” frame. He could do none of these things he preached, but I could. He had a great big belly. He never did anything but talk, talk, talk, his stock in trade, & with an English accent. One of the reasons I went ‘on the road’ stripping instead of staying a go-go dancer, which paid well, was because I was afraid of him after I escaped– he would find me & do me harm, but on the road he couldn’t reach me. And so, thanks to this circumstance, my life as the ‘Stripper for God’ was enabled.}

Back to Johnny Mathis

Johnny Mathis had a legit office at the building Putz & I inhabited. I saw him in the parking lot underground & chatted with him, wanting to be friends. But since he was gay, he brushed me off. When I met him in Puerto Rico he didn’t know I was the same person he’d met years ago.

I met a beautiful young male who was a Cuban doctor’s son. He adored me, I have pictures with him – the best looking guy I met while there, but for some strange reason, I did not have sex with him. I had sex with two other guys who were less than he. Something about him pushed me away. He told me an anecdote about how he tried to make it with a girl in his car, & parked in an out of the way place in the jungle. Before he knew it, six guys showed up looking in his windows masturbating. He took off & went to another location, same guys showed up doing the same thing, & he tried again & again & they or someone like them always showed up, thwarted his chance to nail the girl.

During my show there was a whole row of these guys in the front row masturbating while I danced. They were smiling & happy, not embarrassed at all. Must be a cultural habit. But I must say that when I was in the 42^nd St. area, in the ‘back room’ theater the Mafia owned, several New Yorkers were also masturbating in the front row. Not as many, however.

During this time I wore contact lenses. Oh, the bane of it. They really hurt – it was before soft contact lenses were invented. My eyesight, for many years, was abysmal & without lenses everything past say ten feet, was blurry. And later it got worse. It started when I was 10, just went down to 20/30, {from loss of my Dad’s love} but by the time I was sixty it was like 20/350.

One day I made the sad mistake of leaving my contact lenses on while I sat on the beach. A few hours later my eye were as puffy as balloons, I had never seen anything like it – I was embarrassed to go on stage {but no one seemed to notice!} I went to the manager & asked him to give me a doctor. The doctor said to only put the lenses in while I was doing the show, then take them out, etc., & my eyes became normal after a while. I believe the sun, the salt air with the lenses, caused the eye irritation, the lenses themselves being irritants.

The San Juan Press: I actually took a cab to the San Juan Press without calling them, & brought along my bikini, suggested they write me up. I put on the bikini & they took fabulous shots. They promised to send me copies to the USA but they did not. This sort of thing happened a lot – they promise to send you the media but they don’t, & that included what Maria Shriver Schwarzenegger did on me {but I got a copy of the show through the help of Our Holy Lady, while saying her rosary in the TV office – explained elsewhere}.

But I never gave up. I prayed & prayed. One day on the subway of NYC there was the editor & his associates, right there in a car. I asked him why they had never sent the copy. He was ashamed, & thereafter, thank Heavens, sent me a copy. It was great. Don’t ever give up on a thing you want, if it’s legit. Keep praying, trusting, believing in God & Her Power will give you it.

One funny thing. I always carried pictures with me to give out to people like cab drivers, restaurant servers & just folks I met. Going by a place with iron bars all around a large yard each day to work from my apt – Several men came running to the bars. I gave them pictures. Later someone told me they were ‘bad men.’ What do you mean bad? I said. They were criminals, it was some sort of holding pen. Maybe I helped cheer them up, even if some didn’t deserve it.

Oh yes I can’t finish this article without the following. At the Lorraine Theater they had a not too small built up dressing room right in the lobby. The man who was the manager of the apt. building was the sweetest guy. He came to see me dance, & I asked if he could sit in my dressing room. Reluctantly, they said OK.

After a few minutes, this sweet very white man pulled out a dick that was the biggest I’d ever seen in my life – It was huge as an elephant, over a foot long & very thick. I was startled & shocked.

But within seconds the workers there opened the door & angrily threw him out. That made me understand that they had some sort of access to seeing what went on in the dressing room. Imagine that. Watching the dancer’s every move in her private space, watching her dress & undress.

I had a spiritual disappointment while there. Walking down the street, in front of a Church, saw a sign that said ‘Theosophy discussion meeting now.’ Eagerly I went inside. There were about 10 people, male & female, discussing God. I asked if I could join. A man there seemed pleased, but an old hag looking 90 years old said I could not join them & gave some convoluted bullshyt reason why. The reason why is you were jealous how I looked, you bitch. Your envy was stronger than your charity. {End Chapter 2}

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Aquarius Theater Job

“I Strip for God” Part 8

Aquarius Burlesque Theater

Route 130 Gloucester City, New Jersey, 1980

OK I have to get to the theaters & clubs I worked, & all I can say is thank God for ARTICLES written about me in these cities & towns, because the articles tell me the NAMES & LOCATIONS & TIMES of these places. I did NOT deep a diary. I do recall what happened at these places but not their names, addresses & dates. The articles I have Xeroxed – at least a hundred of them – & they also appear on my www.KellieEvertsIStripforGod.com website.

This was a small theater which seated no more than 100 & they sat across & around an extension of the stage. It was all lighted up, the whole room, so I could see everyone – not like the old theaters where only the stage is lit up, the audience is dark.

I was on a super-strict diet at this time – one meal a day – & was lifting weights each day & dancing 4 shows. It was grueling. I didn’t have the energy to TALK – believe it or not. I ate no breakfast or lunch, danced all the 4 shows & only then did I go across the street to the diner & had a favorite meal. It was eggs with home fries, rye bread & dessert – banana cream pie. Never changed the menu. I know it’s intelligent to eat 3 small meals instead – but my system worked the way I did it.

I’ll try to recall whatever struck me here, for good or bad. Nothing huge, but this will give you an idea of what it is like to be in my skin, what a stripper such as myself experiences.

The owner/manager was really nice to me {there are all kinds, some are brutal & cold hearted} & when another dancer {not a good one} was saying things that made me uncomfortable, he said,

“She’s just trying to psyche you out.”

We’re not talking sisterhood here, it’s competition. And because she felt since I was the star, I was higher, she tried to pull me down. I didn’t catch on, just felt demoralized, until the owner told me what it was about. No I was not ‘street smart’ I was spiritually smart & book smart – {that has changed through much observation & study}. Her method of putting me ‘down’ was bragging about another female – Marilyn Chambers. Since I was body building & my body was exquisite she kept bragging on her, saying how her lats stood out. And you could see the look on her face as she said it, that twisted smile where the ends of the mouth point down {into Hell.}

Another female I felt was the victim of a con job – but I didn’t catch on right away. She was partnered with an ordinary-looking tall, thin Hindu, who told her he was going to become a doctor. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn’t, but he wasn’t one yet, & by convincing her he would be – & they’d be married – he got to have her body & possibly lived off her. She was so puffed up she seemed trancelike & treated myself & another dancer to our meal. {This is unusual, she wanted to impress us & we were.}

She told the press this was her last dance gig – she was off to ‘marry a doctor.’ The article in the Gloucester paper

tells me her name was ‘Tarzana.’ She was a good dancer & I wonder if she lived happily ever after or if the Hindu was pulling her leg & she danced in dives another 10 years.

There were two other dancers I recall. One was gorgeous, beautiful face & body. The other was ugly – ugly face & body, sort of charcoal grey skin, short & dumpy, spoke like she had an IQ of 80 or less, & she used a big black dildo on stage, which annoyed some of the white men, lol. {The uglier you are, the more prurient your act has to be, sad but true. Not sure what she did with the dildo but I don’t think inserting it was allowed, probably pretended. I never looked at her act.}

Here is my anecdote on her. There was an employee of the theater – a decent looking white guy who was a janitor. Married, he once brought his wife around. What I recall about the situation is this. He belly ached about the price of peanut butter, how expensive it had got, he had a 9 year old son who loved peanut butter. And yet he gave $50. to Miss Ugly of for sex. He could have bought 20 lbs of peanut butter for $50. This taught me something about some men – they will literally take food out of their child’s mouth to give themselves sex pleasure.

Now the beautiful one had a boyfriend or ‘hanger on.’ He was vile. He sat right at the front seat next to the extension on the stage, & when I came by he growled sexual things in a low voice, like an animal – this was totally disrespectful to his girl friend Ms Gorgeous.

And here’s how I found out he was mooching off her. In the old days, beautiful women on stage got flowers,

jewels, & taken out for the finest dining. In our day & age women in the adult trade / show business get pimps, moochers & con men. Once in a while a straight guy comes along – not often.

The owner of the diner across the street was a gay man, kind of chubby. One day he shows up to the owner in a huff, yelling how he has to get paid for what Mr. Vile has done. Vile sat on his vinyl seat in a booth, & the KNIFE in his pocket cut a bit swatch into the seat. Repairing it would cost money – But who pays? The guy or the dancer he’s hanging with? The dancer of course.

Everything had gone wrong for her that day. She sighed deeply & said,

“Some days you wish had never started.”

I was working on a body building book that year. I’d learned from prosperity teacher Catharine Ponder that if you want a thing to get done, start working on it. I did. I tried to write the book, I trained & posed for pictures. But I could not write it {tried & tried, it didn’t come out right} & could not get a publisher. After a few months of trying, I gave up & went on my next job.

Can’t even recall where that job was – was it Pittsburgh or Philadelphia?

And while there someone who wanted to publish a body building book by me – because they had seen my Esquire article in 1975 – contacted me. Mr. Stan & Mrs. Jan Leitner were in St. Louis, Illinois, told me to quit my job where I was, come over there & work on a book – they’d give me 5k. Later, they changed it to 10k. {To me that was HUGE – I’d never had more than 1.5k in my bank account as of then. In 2022 money this would be $35,473}

I told them I could not break my contract, but as soon as this job was over I’d go there.

It was a dream come true. Being housed in their mansion, they got me a ‘trainer’ where I was dropped off daily, they hired the biggest photo/video studio in the city to photograph me & make a video of ‘The Ultimate Woman.’ – A woman who body builds, dances, & runs her own business. Wearing a suit, I am seen seated at a desk giving orders, then body building, then dancing in a club which they arranged.

They put this video/ad for the book on the Phil Donohue Show at a cost of what today would be $56,757.

And so, thanks to the teachings of Catherine Ponder, I got my book published. Not only that, it was the FIRST BODY BUILDING BOOK BY A FEMALE. Mr. & Mrs. Leitner did all the work – all I had to do was train & BELIEVE. I beat Lisa Lyon with her book by several months.

Arnold tried to make Lisa Lyon the ‘poster girl’ of female body building. Was it out of revenge toward me, as I preferred another man? He recruited Joe Weider, the biggest power in body building, to promote her, put her on the cover of his magazine, create a photo layout of her with Arnold. He got a top name in writing to write her book. – Kellie Everts continued with a seminal book, ‘The Origin & Decline of Female Body Building’ & was given the title ‘Progenitor of modern competitive female body building’ in Feb 2007 by the World Body Building Guild.

Forgot to mention. During the Aquarius stay I lifted weights on my breaks, in an outdoor cemented patio behind the theater. How did I get the weights? I asked a man who came to the theater who seemed to be lifting, he brought them. Shows you how nice men can be, you can get favors from them if they like you. I had one of the employees take pics with my camera while I was on stage. There were few times I was that thin & muscular. Every picture had my head cut off.

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Death & Ascension

Lady I pray for dies, goes to Purgatory for one day & Ascends into Heaven

6-26-22 Brenda’s Ascension

Dream:

It’s something about clothing. I’m given a blue linen dress which is a super short mini dress, plain as can be. It’s got a scooped neck, short sleeves, form fitting. I am thin & I guess look decent in this dress but I get uncomfortable as I have no underwear on – the wrong position, people can see under my dress. That’s a concern.

*** {DRESS: The dress sounds like the illness given to Brenda, it’s sad or BLUE. Linen is not a SOFT material, this is a HARD condition. Form fitting feels like a restraint. She is RESTRAINED or imprisoned in her condition – can’t get out of it.

The SHORTNESS of the dress & distressed for having no UNDERWEAR sounds like the being troubled for being so VULNERABLE in the lower part of her body – which had developed CANCER starting with the bladder, then went to the liver. Being NAKED or WITHOUT CLOTHES is a condition of being VULNERABLE & UNPROTECTED.

Being THIN here means good spiritual condition – spiritual POVERTY. Sometimes {not always} fatness means greed & gluttony or being bloated with the things of the world & the flesh.}

And then as I’m walking on the street a man who likes me grabs me, puts me into a horizontal position & sort of tickles my legs yikes, I feel embarrassed he’ll see my nudity.

* {EMBARRASSED with the man who likes me who will see my nudity: This is the uncomfortable feeling that the man who loves me SEES ME IN THIS CONDITION. {We want to be well & healthy with those who love us! We don’t want them to suffer with us.} *

Then something CHANGES. I have a different DRESS, its chartreuse in color, a kind of party dress, has a soft chiffon neckline scooped low & also short sleeves but also a mini skirt. I go to a store where it’s given me. Not sure if I buy it or the saleslady just gives it to me for some reason.

*** {The CHANGE is now the TRANSITION from earthly life with the suffering into a PARTY DRESS. The ASCENSION INTO HEAVEN of Brenda is now UNFOLDING – this PARTY is the REJOICING.

Rasa is saying the HOLY MASS for Brenda. CHARTREUSE is the GREEN OF LIFE.

The SALESLADY is the ATTENDENT or person who says the HOLY MASS – the Holy Mass is putting the ‘bridal dress’ or ‘party dress’ on Brenda. This CLOTHING is actually THE GRACE OF GOD.D} ***

I’m sitting at a table by myself just thinking. Not sure if there are people to my right.

* {This TABLE is the ALTAR where I said the Holy Mass…She is ALL ALONE as she’s the only one I dedicated the Mass to. I see it later, that she’s holding the TALL GLASS with the REFRESHING WATER – This is the BLOOD OF JESUS & MARY. I use PLAIN WATER as the medium, not wine, because I know Jesus turns water into wine when he wants to.} *

To my left is a line of people all sitting on top of this counter against the wall, mostly men.

{MEN ON COUNTER, AGAINST THE WALL: This sounds like RELATIVES who can’t help Brenda, so they are AGAINST THE WALL with concern – the main person would be her husband who has suffered equally with her. They weren’t able to get her well & they don’t know how to help her spiritually.}

I decide to just walk in front of them past them, & I do, not looking a them, & it’s here that I notice, like I’m looking at myself from about 10 feet away, that I’m thin & I’m holding a tall transparent glass with water in it, it’s something cool & refreshing, maybe has ice in it, maybe a straw {I had that water in front of me at the table, enjoying it.}

* {GOING PAST THE MEN, HOLDING THE GLASS WITH THE REFRESHING WATER – Notice I am THIN etc.: This is the TRANSITION where Brenda is NOT LOOKING at people now, but she wants them to SEE HER – to understand she is partaking of the GRACE OF GOD, drinking in the refreshing WATER OF LIFE {Jesus & Mary’s Blood, to be specific}, she is thin/ready for God – her MIND is ON GOD which is IMPORTANT as when people CLING to the world – including loved ones – they must wait in Purgatory until they do let go. One of the saints – Anne Catherine Emmerich, said that the reason death is so hard to most people – what makes it hard – is that they are attached to the world & to people. It is imperative to LEG GO – Brenda is doing this successfully here!} *

I go past these guys & am standing looking at myself still from some feet away, then I notice the dress has a veil attached to it, made of the same chartreuse color, & in front it just falls down to the floor – it’s a soft chiffon, & some of it is still rumpled under the regular part of the dress in back, I pull out the material & it goes flush to the floor. This new part starts past my knees & has a medallion close to the knees of rhinestone or diamond type – this now for sure is a party dress, at bottom it might have a scallop design, & it’s so long I’m hoping I don’t trip on it as I walk.

*** {the VEIL! This is one of the most telltale signs of ASCENSION as the veil is a symbol of what is between God & us – God is beyond the veil to us, when we ascend the veil is lifted, we see God face to face. In the human wedding ceremony the veil the wife wears means the same thing – if it is over her face the man moves it &to achieve their union, symbolically.

This appearance of the dress, then the veil attached, is as if Brenda’s ascension happens in increments, but these increments were probably moments in time.

The diamond or rhinestone broach at the knees, holding the veil or skirt, is an important symbol,– JEWELS represent AWARDS for extra things the person has done – extra work, extra charity, extra sacrifices. This veil seems to be a SPECIAL BONUS of Grace that goes with her ‘bridal’ ascension. It could also be the prayers of others for her, that helped her, including our most recent prayers.} ***

I think I got a real bargain, a good deal, because for sure I got this extra part for free – it was attached to the dress. The dress was reasonable; maybe the saleslady didn’t know it was attached, it would have made the dress more expensive – I got a bargain.

{EXTRA ATTACHED, I GOT A BARGAIN: Brenda feels gratitude for the extra Grace she’s been given.}

Later: I awoke & wondered if this was the ascension of Brenda, & was amazed because it had been only one day since she died. I asked God for confirmation, & fell asleep again.

I then saw a loaf of bread made to resemble an envelope with the seal part facing up in triangle form, but this is bread dough & it’s puffed up, cooked, the size of it is squarish, about 8”x8”. I know what this means instantly – the body & blood of Christ or Jesus & Mary, the way I celebrate the Mass. It’s in envelope form to tell me this is our MESSAGE – the Bread of Life has delivered her from Purgatory.

I might add the TRIANGLE image on the envelope represents PERFECTION. God is perfect, we must be perfect to INTEGRATE with God.

I saw her husband, Scott, grieving, lying face down on this bed. There are two black cameras on the side of the bed – probably symbols of memories, the memories they shared & he is grieving they will be no more. I knew he had to get this message as soon as possible so he could rejoice.

Dreamed the Night She Died – She died 11:45PM6-24-22

My dreams:

The Hurt Kitties

I’m in my front yard & my porch & the entire small yard sees to be covered with the blankets of my bed plus the sheet on top. I am just sitting around or reclining, it’s so warm & pleasant here, & decide to go back inside. I’m in the doorway to my living room now & notice it’s just as warm in the house as outside, but just as I’m about to enter the house – maybe I did close the door as for a moment I seem to be looking through my glass door at this:

* {OUTSIDE & INSIDE, BLANKET & SHEET ON YARD & PORCH, GOING INSIDE NOTICE IT’S WARM ON BOTH SIDES: This shows two sides, both warm, pleasant & comfortable. It might mean the prayerful conversations going on OUTSIDE or with Scott & his family, where there is a warm feeling or Love, & INSIDE my house – which is me & my feelings; it is equally warm or Loving. What I see THROUGH A GLASS DOOR is what I UNDERSTAND, it is CLEAR to me or SHOWN to me by the Holy Spirit.} *

A Mother kitty runs onto my porch with several of her kittens. The Mom has some sort of wounds on both sides of her body, like part of the flesh was scooped out; skin & fur cover the wounds. And I notice one of her babies has the exact same wounds!

I look closely at the poor little kitten. There’s a label of sorts attached to her, like a half an inch of skin on a strip of about 4” & on it is written the name of a man, & after that something like ‘Deposit’, which is getting blurry. I sense that this man POISONED the little kitty somehow – & he did it DELIBERATELY, LIKE AN ACT OF MALICE. I vaguely see an EVIL MAN.

*** {WOUNDED MOM CAT & KITTEN: This is Scott & his wife. Scott is the maternal cat, the care giver, who is suffering equally with Brenda. Brenda is the kitten or victim. This sign perplexed me until Scott told me there is a chance their well water is poisoned from a Kodak plant about a mile away, which was dumping their chemical wastes into a lake. This was a while back. OK that gives me the clue. The MAN who poisoned her would be the man who RUNS THE PLANT who didn’t care who he poisoned. That shows MALICE, it is criminal. I saw a criminal look on this man’s face. Then the term ‘Deposit’ perplexed me because there is a town called Deposit not far from here. But it’s not about that – it’s about DEPOSITING CHEMICAL WASTES THAT POISONED THE WATER – even though it’s a mile away it is possible for poisons to leach into the ground water. And the fact that this writing is getting BLURRY shows it was a while back – which is the time the plant was there. I read that Kodak, the entire company, dissolved in 2012. I’ve not been able to discover when this particular plant was in that area dumping poisons into a lake.

These are the 3 main chemicals I discovered that the Kodak plant used which are toxic: methylene chloride, acetone & methanol.

What are the long term effects of methylene chloride?

Methylene chloride exposure poses chronic health risks, including cancer; liver, kidney, …..

What are the long-term health effects of exposure to acetone?

Studies on animals determined that long-term exposure to acetone damages the kidneys, liver …….

It is relevant that Brenda developed liver cancer, which they think started in her bladder.} ***

I then take the baby under my left hand, cup my hand completely over her body – she is so tiny, & at this moment she takes a great sigh of relief, like she is comforted.

*** {GREAT SIGH OF RELIEF – I CUPPED HER WHOLE BODY IN MY HAND: This says two things, one, that the prayers I was saying comforted Brenda greatly & second, this could be the ‘dying breath’ as she passed about a few short hours after we prayed.

CUPPED HER WHOLE BODY IN MY HAND: The hands represent LOVE. She was enveloped in love while we prayed.} ***

And the Mother is nestled on my right shoulder against my neck – she apparently receives comfort also.

* (MOTHER NESTLED AGAINST MY NECK, I was aware still of her wounds: This is SCOTT, the husband, the caregiver, who was ALSO COMFORTED. Why on my shoulder & neck? We usually CRY ON SOMEONE’S SHOULDER for comfort. The neck being right by the shoulder is about the same thing.) *

Next dream that night: Her Purgatory

Purgatory is always nightmarish or stressful to different degrees, but this is not as bad as most Purgatories.

As I dream, I am in the consciousness of the person I’m dreaming about, Brenda, like it’s happening to me. But it’s what she is experiencing. Interesting that I also dreamed her ascension symbolically as if it was happening to me – the change into the chartreuse party dress.

OK, I am on a journey, walking a long distance. At one point, though, I don’t see how to arrive at my destination, it’s tricky, something is blocking my way. I look back, thinking of going back, but to my shock the way back is barred –the doorway I came through is covered over with thick white plaster, as if I’d been in a hallway & gone through this door.

* {JOURNEY I WALK, BUT BEFORE ME IT IS DIFFICULT, BLOCKED. I WAS GOING TO GO BACK, BUT THE WAY BACK IS BLOCKED! Brenda has passed & she cannot re enter the earthly life. It’s finished. And so she must tackle how to gain the Vision of God, which is not yet seen.} *

So I go forward. I’m in a huge building & looking for a window to escape – I see no windows.

But then on one wall I see two spots that might be windows but are covered up. The walls here are made of huge blocks, colored green. So I go to the first place that I think is a window & begin to peel off the covers. There are curtains, then layers of cardboard, many layers, I pull them off one by one, but at the end there is only that wall made of green blocks.

I try again – there’s a place higher than this that I begin peeling things off, many layers, & I finally do get to a real window, not big & it has a milky glass over it that has been raised. I reach up & put my hand there & something bites my hand – it’s a small dog I see.

*** {PEEL OFF LAYERS, NO WINDOW. SECOND SPOT PEEL OFF LAYERS THERE IS A SMALL WINDOW, BUT SOMETHING BITES MY HAND – A SMALL DOG: Here Brenda is trying to leave Purgatory & it’s frustrating. She tries so hard to see God/Love, outside this place. She finally does get an opportunity but as she puts her right hand to hoist herself to this high window something bites her hand – a small dog.

Me to Mother God: Can you help me on what this means? Why would someone bite her hand as she’s trying to see God, & turn out to be a small dog?

Mother God: This could be one small fault or sin not accounted for. She feels it now, it’s a reminder, & this will explain one day in Purgatory – Something not paid for. The HAND is love. She did something small against Love.} ***

Now how do I climb up to this small window & hoist myself out? It’s tricky, but somehow I do manage – I have to do it backward, so that I’m sitting in the window, facing the inside. Then somehow I hoist myself out & I am outside but I can’t see clearly. It’s as if my eyes are blurry or else it’s a thick fog. I look so hard, try so hard to see the outside but can’t see it clearly.

* {BLURRY VISION BUT I AM OUTSIDE ETC: This one day in Purgatory will soon be over. Brenda’s vision of God is still blurry, but she’s getting there. In a short time she will be One with God, assimilated into the Perfect Peace, Love & Joy that is our Reality at the Source.} *

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