College of God & Love, Core Tenets

I was Nefertiti Charbel Says!

7-25-23 Charbel Brings me a Gift – Nick appears for mystical sex 7-23-23

On his feast day the 24^th, St. Charbel did not appear to me in any way & I was disappointed. But I prayed to him the next day telling him even though I was unworthy, I know he blessed other people with healings, miracles & gifts, & I probably didn’t deserve anything as I ad not been watching any more documentaries on him, although I do pray to him daily. So I thanked him for all he did for others.

That night – last night, I had this dream. I believe this was Charbel. I have 7 mystical husbands right now & they at various times appear as my good husband Richard. So I cannot know for sure who they are until I examine the entire dream & other clues.

I go to a large apt where my husband Richard is waiting for me. Things are not in order & everyone is working to straighten out the large, airy, bright rooms. There are two women here besides me, one’s young & pretty, the other taller, more mature.

Richard & I greet each other & I feel the most intense & sweet love from him. In real life I looked upon him as a good brother & was never ‘in love’ with him & never had sex because I was celibate. But now I feel more romantic toward him.

After a while he is going out the door with the pretty young lady. I assume they’re going to have a meal, or else have sex. I have no right to tell him what to do so I don’t grieve about it.

But within one minute they are back. I see him, then her. So they didn’t do anything.

I look at this table here where things are strewn about & see a flat box, about 4”x4” & about an inch deep. I open it & see it’s filled with small wooden Egyptian carvings. I see the head of ‘Nefertiti’ represented 3 times, two are plain black, the third is painted in light colors just like the original head of hers wearing the Egyptian crown, & this one pops out of the box when I open it. There are other wooden thingies here too, all of which are neatly encased in a cardboard holder lining the box. Her head has a handle on the bottom so you can hold it, just like what I saw in the Martin Luther movie last night, where as a child he watched a marionette show & a man held a demon’s head by the handle & menaced Martin with it.

Then I see a nice piece of printed paper with colorful Egyptian drawings explaining the story of Nefertiti kind of ‘in the air’ & I find it fascinating & want to read it. I sense that Richard put this here for me to see. I intend to read it. It has a series of Egyptian images on top, in a row, going across this about 8” piece of paper, & it’s printed in a style that looks somewhat like ancient scripture, but not hand written, it’s modern printing. The background of the paper is dark, the letters are white.

I now go over to Richard – he’s wearing a white shirt, & ask him

“Have you eaten?”

I have a strong sense of caring about him.

I think he says no & suggests we eat together, but I say,

“I can’t eat until I straighten out this clutter.”

Meaning:

It seems this is St. Charbel. And he loves me deeply. The other two females, the tall one is someone important to him – probably Our Holy Mother who he was devoted to. The pretty young girl is my thinking that he’d ignored me because & got together with another female & it was not my business. But this shows I mustn’t be jealous, as he was with her only a minute & nothing big took place, no dinner or sex, which would be big spiritual bonuses. In other words, he doesn’t love another woman more than me, he’s spending a good deal of attention to me & a lot of love, & he brought me a Gift.

But I have no idea what this Gift means!

Nefertiti I just looked up. She was an Egyptian Queen who had great power, was even co-Pharoah & then maybe the Pharaoh when her husband died. The art shows her doing things only the Pharaoh does, like smiting the enemy.

She’s famous because of a statue done of her head. There’s also a NUDE statue of her!

She & her husband brought monotheism to Egypt with worship of the Sun God, Atem.

She’s described as “powerful, mysterious, independent, equal to her husband.”

What do the artifacts in the box tell me? There are 3 heads of Nefertiti. Two of them, charcoal black, stay in the box, the brightly painted one jumps out & it has a handle on the bottom, a stick to hold the head by. But what does this mean?

The only thing I can think of is that Charbel is providing me with a secret, that I am Nefertiti reincarnated. It’s hard to believe.

I was at a gypsy’s in Times Square, who told me

“You were a Queen in a previous lifetime. That’s why you are the way you are.”

I smiled in disbelief but she insisted.

The two heads in the box could be a hint – ‘Charcoal black’ – ‘Saint Charbel’ – it’s him.

It could also be what is long dead & gone, like generations gone by, people died, their remains ‘burned up’ like charcoal.

But one head jumps out at me – it’s Nefertiti with a HANDLE. What is that a clue to?

handle on:

1. A good physical hold on something. Make sure you’ve got a handle on your end of the couch before we try to lift it.

2. A newfound understanding of a topic or concept. Once I got a handle on how to operate the new system, I found that it made my job much easier.

Well, if I was Nefertiti then I should have a great deal of confidence in myself!

If it’s true, St. Charbel has given me a great gift of knowledge!

He has given me a HANDLE on my identity & character. Like Jesus was the reincarnation of a great Buddhist Guru – the Magi or Wise Men came to honor their previous Guru. It explains the character & teaching of Jesus – Christianity is exactly the same principles as Buddhism.

And my desires for Female Rule or authority would coincide with that of Nefertiti.

Nick visits me for love making 7-23-23

He appears as himself, very tall, elegant & thin. I shall keep the details to myself, it being personal.

College of God & Love, Core Tenets

Miracle Healing St. Charbel & Mystical Sex with Nick

More Birthday Gifts – Mystical Sex with Husband Nick – Takes me to his dead friends in Purgatory

St Charbel cured the cancer of someone I prayed for 7-17-23

A man appears in my apt in B’klyn. He’s some kind of spiritual entity, like he was in charge of something religious, but what I don’t know. He appears as a special favor, to comfort me I think.

He sits by my door & I’m on a stool or chair lower than his & am resting my head on him & holding his right hand. As I sit I’m in a deep mystical mood & I say to him,

“This is like Heaven to me.

He knew I loved him spiritually, I’m in a trance.

Then we go into my bedroom & there’s a porch outside my window where the fire escape was.

I feel I have to check the porch as I see a slight bit of smoke coming out of something, just a tiny bit but I must check to make sure it doesn’t start a fire. It’s like something in a pot.

Below is my lover for 11 years – Nicholas Anthony Van Dunk. I photographed him when he was 22. We are now united forever Soul to Soul.

I worry about opening up the ‘fire escape window’ because it has a lock. Do I have the key?

But when I stand before it, it’s only a white screen which I easily take off & climb through the open window to check the porch.

Here I see a mother cat with its kitten, lying calmly. She isn’t scared of me as I stoop by her to check the pot. It must have been an optical illusion as there is nothing burning, I see smoke far off. But something is hoping inside a clear glass jar, where it has rained & there is water. I turn the jar over to let the creature out, it’s a little cute frog. So it wasn’t hurt in the water.

I think there are other small creatures around, maybe another cat, but this is vague. I also pull two large fluffy pillows off the porch, saying,

“What are these pillows doing here?”

My mission done, I climb back into my room.

I tell the ‘counselor’,

Isn’t it great that I have a porch like this?”

Now as he stands by the wall across from me, his appearance is so:

Nick wrote ‘Cocaine & Broken Bottles’ as a way of reconciliation with me when I had avoided him a while. In it he said ‘Take my heart’ among other poignant things. It’s still on Sound Cloud https://soundcloud.com/nick-lambo13 – I forgave him for his wicked ways – It was the only song he ever performed live. But alas, I could not save him & he died from cocaine August, 2022

He’s not as tall as me & slight of build, so like he’s maybe 5’5” to my 5’7” & he’s thin & seems young. But his skin appears in a strange way, that he has alopecia, & part of it is light, part somewhat darker rose/beige, like a map.

And he says something strange as I was not thinking this way:

“I suppose you expect sex now?”

I was startled as I was not thinking of sex at all. But now that he mentions it, why not?

So I say,

“If you want to, we can do it. If you don’t I’ll be sad but I’ll get over it in a day or two. I am aware that I’m not fixed up to seduce a man, wearing ordinary clothes, no makeup. And I feared maybe he doesn’t want to do sex, but thinks I’m expecting it. And I let him know I’ve not had sex for four years.

Now he’s sitting in the window & his left arm is folded where I’m sitting beneath him, my face close to his arm so I think he needs some encouragement so I tenderly kiss his arm, which is covered by a soft light blue sleeve at the top of his shoulder. As I’m doing this he says something like,

“That’s good”

And I realize my hand is on his penis inside his loose pants, & the size of it, it’s so big it bends {not in real life} & I think,

“If I had known he had a penis like this, I would have immediately thought of sex, lol.”

I then physically pick him up & lay him down on the floor – carrying him so easily like he weighed nothing.

And we then have sex. It’s mystical, but it feels real. It’s ecstasy. And I know there is sex in Heaven & we can have sex with a saint or a person on earth through spiritual means, this is proof. Because Nick would appear to me while he was still living, in dreams, & make love to me, & it also felt real then. When he thought of me he’d send his Soul to make love.

But I did not realize right away this was my previous lover Nick, who I was spiritually wedded to before his death {April 21, 2019}, so he is united to my soul forever. But when I thought of his penis & then the feeling while we made love I suspected it was him. And the trancelike state I went into as soon as he appeared & I was resting my head on him & holding his hand was the same as always happened to me in his presence. For eleven years when we were together on & off, this trance always occurred.

And to top it all off, he was given to me for my birthday on July 10, 2011, when we met. He approached me. Then we disappeared from each other, but in 2014 we found each other again, he approached me, & from then on until 2019, he would appear for sure the week of my birthday to make love to me. There were many other times as well, but my birthday he always appeared until I stopped going downtown. So putting all this together I know this is Nick anointing me for my birthday!

The landscapes in this article are by Thomas Cole, the Father of the Hudson River Valley Style of Art

And there is more – a great surprise Gift. This dream happened first, before his arrival as ‘counselor.’ And I am amazed that Nick, together with his Guardian Angel, had the power to take me down to Purgatory to help all his friends who died of drug overdoses! They’re all in the same place because they were birds of a feather – all thought the same, believed the same & behaved the same. This has happened with many souls – those very similar appear to me together, like my Mom & brother are in Heaven together. {They were alike, he was the only person she ever loved.} Rudolf Nureyef appeared to me with my gay friend Rojer. Dean Martin appeared with Frank Sinatra.

So Nick was the ‘ringleader’ of sorts, or ‘life of the party’ with all his drug addict friends who were dying like flies, one every few weeks. Mostly guys, half of them black, just a few girls.

This dream will explain:

Nick & his Guardian Angel take me to Purgatory to help his Friends

A young man I like comes over with a tall male friend of his, visiting. I live in the city. There is a building nearby, across from me, that fascinates me. It’s made of all wood, beautiful, 3 stories tall. And in it is some sort of club or gathering place where young people go – part of these guys’s crowd. You have to be invited here, & they invite me & take me to this building.

I am fascinated by it – everything is beautiful wood. It has staircases that are 15’-20’ wide, but they leadd to nothing, no room, just a dead end, but then the staircase veers to the right, also wide, & you go down. The whole place is filled with these staircases & many rooms, wood from floor to ceiling.

My friends, I greet them, & one of the males turns into a kitten which I hold & kiss repeatedly & feel great love for it.

But then these guys disappear & I spend some time looking for them. I ask everyone where did they go, & they tell me the name of the place which I can’t recall, I think it’s another club. I keep asking & looking, as I don’t feel so comfortable here, as I don’t know anyone. I go outside & there’s a yard that looks like a playground of sorts, for kids. It’s surrounded by a white wire fence, the wires up & across. I don’t see anyone here but workers. One lady comes toward me from the right. She works here or serves the people inside, & she says something like,

“The people inside are hopeless.”

At one point, I was seated at a table & someone had presented me with food, Hindu style where you eat with the tips of your fingers from flat bowls. There were several dishes, all unusual to my taste but delicious, they are like sauces, creamy. And I have a slight fear that this isn’t for me but the members here, but keep eating, & a person near me says,

“These are expensive.”

And I sensed this stuff was extremely expensive.

Notice 4 pictures down, the red padded jacket? He had it when I met him. In the dream

this is one of the ‘ugly’ layers of clothes I have on & take them all , representing the vision I gave for his dead friends in Purgatory – All drug addicts no doubt

Notice how sad he looks the 3 images from the bottom up – This was the time he didn’t speak to me for 9 months

I am inside & look around & the place is strange, as no one is doing anything or drinking or dancing or talking. They’re all just sitting doing nothing in many different chairs, couches, all throughout these large room, mostly males in their 20’s, half of them black. All wear the same kind of clothes, baggy, in layers, ugly.

I’m wearing ugly clothes too. My navy blue oversized sweat pants. Then at first I only had one layer but then I see layer upon layer which I will take off as I rise into the air & dance.

None of these people looks at me or talks to me. What can I do? I decide to do something drastic. I just begin doing the things I was famous for downtown, like splits. And when I do one, I get some attention. Then I rise into the air doing steps & I take off so many layers of clothes including the jacket Nick used to have when I first met him that they stole from him – shiny red.

Yes, I get the attention I was looking for & one guy really stares – he’s handsome & has on a wide-brimmed bright green hat. I look at him pointedly also, our eyes acknowledging each other, & I hear a female behind me warning,

“Don’t touch him.”

Have no idea why? Did he have leprosy was a thought. Are all these people sick with some kind of disease?

…………………………………………………………….

Meaning of all this

For someone to take me to Purgatory is a phenomenon & a rare occurrence, & I had no idea Nick had the spiritual Power to do this, even with his Guardian Angel. But Angels do have great Power.

Understanding Purgatory, you know why these guys are sitting there doing nothing. They are helpless. They cannot gain merit, they can only wait for their cleansing to end. Most souls sit there forgotten & forlorn. These don’t seem to be suffering like some precincts or spots in Purgatory would be, but they have no joy. Their prayers for themselves have no effect, it’s too late. Gaining merit happens only on earth.

And this crowd of people were all about the world, people & drugs. They were not religious or spiritual; they probably did not pray much, if ever. Why were they saved? I don’t know, but they must have done something for God to show mercy.

I asked Nick why he took me here, & he said,

“So you would help them.”

“Did I?”

He says yes.

Now why did I do the splits, rise in the air & take off many layers of ugly clothing? Some of which were not my clothes, but Nick’s.

You appeared like them at first. But then, you revealed to them your true character, who you are – a Light of God come to bring them relief.

Their clothes all being ugly like what they wore on earth are the layers of sin & obscurity that prevent them from seeing God.

The male in the green hat was impressed. It seems he has a jealous girl friend. She must have died of an overdose also.

Why did Nick become a precious kitten I was kissing, & why did he & his Angel leave?

You loved him like a child as well as a man – your spiritual son, your pet. They left because they weren’t needed there, they did what they had to do & their mission was over. You did the rest.

The Mystical Sex Dream

Why did Nick appear as a man of religion on some kind of mission, a counselor?

It was a great mission for him, to take you to Purgatory to help his friends. So here he exerted himself fully to do this, it was probably the most important thing he’d ever done.

What was going on – on my porch?

I need to think about that – don’t get the symbols yet, except the pillows. They represent sex for you & Nick. Two pillows, two heads.

Why did Nick say what he said, that I probably expect sex now & his skin showed alopecia? It was on his bare chest.

His skin looks like a map. Maybe he’s saying

“This is where we are on the map. It’s your birthday so I always provided love to you at that time, we even met for your birthday. It’s significant. I am giving you Souls in Purgatory, who, & I’m also giving you myself, the man you loved so much. You were praying & telling the Saints your birthday is coming up & one of the things you wanted most was to help Souls in Purgatory. You did not dream I could provide some for you. And you have not had sex with anyone since we were last together – four years ago, so you deserve this happiness.”

Me: Why did you want me to initiate the sex, like ask for it, not in so many words, but by kissing your arm?

“To show you I was always insecure, & here I’m a submissive to you, your underling, & you the dominant person. You pick me up by your spiritual strength & lay me down. Me on my back is subordinate position. I saw you as a Mother as well as a woman, you know that.

God gave me to you as a gift. Because you obeyed God when you didn’t want to, when She told you to

“Go out & have fun”

And all this happened, & look at the good results. None of us listened to you when you were alive & speaking to us. We all kept taking the drugs, & we all died. But you reached us after death. And I’m a part of your ministry now, just as your great Gurus have been, the great Saints. I feel very good about this.”

What was the food I was eating, which looked like the finger foods Hindus eat during Feasts, like wedding Feasts? And they are super expensive.

I think it’s the spiritual delight/nourishment you are getting from this experience, so delicious you feel guilty, but it came at a great price of suffering. Which sufferings? Could be what you went through with Nick, trying to get him off drugs & into proper living & acting right with you – which never happened. The stress gave you heart attacks.

St. Charbel cures cancer! The Next Day dream a husband brings me food 7-19-23

I now have SEVEN spiritual husbands attached to my soul & more than one of them has appeared as my good husband Richard. And unless there is some other sign I don’t know which husband is appearing!

The husbands are: Our Lord Jesus Christ {gave me rings on Jan. 1978}, Bhagawan Nityananda-the Apostle of Bliss {gave me a sparkling silver wedding dress}, my earthly lover of eleven years–Nicholas Anthony Van Dunk {gave me a white dress & veil after he died…on the second date we had in 2014, he told me ‘I want to marry you}, miracle workers Sri Kaleshwar, Sri Shirdi Sai Baba, a living Protestant minister who I shall not name & St. Charbel. The latter ones appeared in dreams as my husbands, as if we were mated automatically! The newest Guru-husbands are appearing lately, St. Charbel seems eager to relate to me, it might be him.

This night had a dream. I was speaking to a female who recently had a miracle occur due to my prayers. Her daughter’s Dad had cancer in his mouth. She asked me to pray June 3, 2023—It’s in writing –I received 15 prayer requests in writing. His doctor confirmed he was cancer free on June 24.

Now I am talking to this female about an important man – I am in show business in this dream, trying to make it, meeting people who will help. And this one man has a great position & I’ve been dealing with him favorably.

So this young, beautiful lady friend of mine – appearing as the female who asked for the cancer cure – is speaking to me & I tell her about this man,

“He can help you do whatever you wish for – get you jobs, put you in movies, anything you want – he can do it.”

I see her standing next to him looking lovely & her breasts for some strange reason are pushed up out of her dress. They’re not big but cute.

I then change into a sexy outfit, the kind I don’t wear any more, skintight pink pants & a low-cut flowery pink top. I have a tiny waist, & the top flares out below the waist in ruffles.

I am now at my house & a bus stops in the front. I go to see. The door has opened & I climb into the bus standing by the driver. My husband has brought me a large cardboard box full of food! I see a round loaf of bakery bread. I sense it has a cross engraved on top. I know there are other things there, but I just see the bread. How kind of him!

Meaning: I believe this says that St. Charbel facilitated the cure! He’s been quite active appearing to me, & here he is again. The food obviously is spiritual gifts, spiritual nourishment. The bread is ‘the bread of life,’ or Holy Eucharist – Charbel was a Priest.

Why am I saying I’m in show business & this man – who is really the Saint – is an important man who can do anything to help someone get ahead, put them in movies, etc.?

It’s just a way of underscoring that St. Charbel is very Powerful in Heaven, he can do anything, & you recommend him to this young lady, she’s with him, her breasts are showing means she has love – & the Saint answers her request, your prayer.

You being dressed provocatively means you appear spiritually beautiful & he is bringing you spiritual gifts.

Earlier, about a week ago, he appeared to me like so:

I met a young, handsome male who was very nice to me, helped me put my groceries into my car. We had a short chat. When we parted I thought, maybe I could ask God if he could be my boyfriend? I thought about it & pondered, would it be God’s will or not? The only answer I got was that I am free to do as I like. But that night my husband Richard appeared to me & it was St. Charbel. He said to me,

“I gave you $10,000 & if you ask for this & start an affair with this man you will be using me & I will leave you.”

When I woke up I told St. Charbel,

“I will not ask God for him. I’d rather have you than him.”

And he said then he would not leave me.

The 10k represents something spiritual he gave me – could be the cure of this man’s cancer.

The Next Day Nick {7-19-23} appeared to me as he was – 6’3”

to me being much shorter, very masculine embraced me with the most intense love I ever felt from him. He is completely transformed spiritually from how he was – he can express True Love instead of beating around the bush. In the last years of our affair he denied, to my face, that I was the main woman he loved, & kept saying he loved ‘everyone’ which is a bunch of crap. But on his Face Books & rap songs he would express the truth & spoke about ‘the woman I love the most that I haven’t seen for a year.’

College of God & Love, Core Tenets

Great Gifts from God

Great Gifts from God

Wish me Happy Birthday guys, today I turned 78…..God has blessed me. I went to Annie’s to get my once a week hamburger with onion, tomato, lettuce & pickle. {Stomach shrank so much could only eat half!} Saw Chris & there’s been a big healing of cancer! She told me her daughter’s Dad had cancer of the mouth. I prayed. And a short time later he was checked by his doctor & the cancer is GONE. GOD IS GOOD!

Also Friday was Saint Kateri Tekakwitha’s holiday. I urge friends to pray to the Saint on their holiday; because that’s the day they’re most likely to grant your request. So in view of that, I had great faith she would answer me. There is a lady I gave a whole household of goods to – 5 & a half carloads of necessary items as their house burned down. These were some of the BEST things I owned – nothing decrepit. This lady is the receptionist at my chiropractors & I was going there every week for months. And – she is named Teki after the Saint! {She’s part American Indian}. I said to Saint Kateri,

“In view of the charity I gave to your namesake, please grant me a favor due to it being your Holiday. I will leave it up to you what the gift would be.”

As I slept that night I appeared in the bed of a dying man. He had a light blue covering over his head made of material that looks like those masks they handed out free at all the medical facilities. I sensed this man was dying. I saw light outlining his body, yellow, then blue. Then his arm fell off the bed as he died. And I saw a white thick blanket covering both of us – it was shining like white light.

I believe this was a Mantle of Light given him by Saint Kateri through me {Saints work like that, they use us on earth to help their client in Purgatory or on their way there. I think the action delivered him from having to go to Purgatory – he must have been saintly – & he ascended straight to Heaven. This was a great privilege for me to be a part of.

The head covering was to show me he died of something to do with his head – maybe an accident or an operation. God is good.

Then this past night I was shown that I have an extended ‘apartment’ with one of my Guru-husbands. A neighbor wanted to see it & I took her & her mother {her Mother is her God Self} through it, room to room. It was more extended than I realized, there were rooms we had not yet used. I knew this ‘husband’ of mine had a house elsewhere, & I also had my own house besides this, but this was an apt we shared. The rooms were not luxurious but charming & cozy & had lots of sleeping spaces. What did this mean?

It has something to do with an ‘office’ or place of work, a spiritual location this Guru & I share, where we reach Souls together. It could be we pull them up out of Purgatory into this place, then they ascend. I can only guess which Guru or Saint this is – God did not show me who. But this revelation was one of my birthday gifts, to be sure.

I just realized who the Saint is – St. Charbel. Why? Because my new Gurus, Sri Kaleshwar & Sri Shirdi Sai Baba already lifted 130 Souls recently with me, & I kept reminding St. Charbel that he can do likewise, so I think he wants me to see he’s planning it! The visitors might be the beginning of clients. Showing them a preview. Like saying “We will get you up to Heaven soon, through this spiritual place.”

College of God & Love, Core Tenets

How God Got Me Through Uncertainties

God Does a ‘Life Review’ Explaining how She Graced Me

I drove out to my property by the river & decided to see if there’s still a pond in the middle of my wilderness. The Beavers moved out about ten years ago, but there was a tiny pond last time I was there with a model & photographed him. It was only about 15 feet in diameter & not deep. This was maybe 2016. If there was still a pond there, it would be easier for me to walk there & recreate, as I could get within 300’ of it with my car, whereas the other pond I have to walk maybe a thousand feet to get there & the pain in my legs, hips & back is daunting. Also have to struggle with the 5’ tall grass that go about 100’ in front.

I parked on my ‘golf course’ facing the river {just a beautiful lawn, no golfing} – it was beautifully mowed by my neighbor who has a cottage there. He thankfully takes care of the private road & gate. Found the old path through huge bushes {some 15’ tall but large branches jutting out from the very base}, it’s impenetrable unless you crawl through, but there are two places one can manage & I had brought my branch loppers & a plastic stool to sit & rest on.

Each time I sat & rested I prayed & summoned my Gurus as well as Angels. Going through about 20’ feet of 5’ tall saw grass was not easy, I had to stop & rest within it. Then about 100’ of medium tall saw tooth grasses, where again I had to rest. It was here that I had a surprising answer from God.

I laid out to God my bitter worries & fears, which I had explained to my friends before. It’s about not having the beneficiaries or people to continue my work & receive my resources. It’s been consuming my mind & distracting me from the prayers.

And so my last statement was who will build my Order? The Temple, Convent & New Religion?

And God appeared to my mind in telepathy. She said – & this surprised me:

“You will build the Order.

You imagine yourself dropping dead any moment, & you want to get everything ready. But not so fast. Get that thought out of your mind. You’re not thinking right.

I will give you more money than you ever dreamed of. I will do it by my supernatural Power, just as I have taken care of you all your life. You do NOT have to go on bended knee seeking producers or directors or agents for your life story. I will intervene, I will do it by my Power, not your work. You’ve done enough work writing it.

You don’t need many years to start the Order, it can be done in five years.

You don’t have to have perfect health or physical ability to do this work. You will advertise & get helpers. And after it starts, you will get volunteers. You can’t figure out how it’ll be done. It will evolve, it will flow, it will be shown piece by piece when the time comes.

Most of what you will do will be internet. I can’t explain it all to you now, it has to evolve.

Let’s do a Life Review of how I have saved & graced you throughout your career.

Remember when you wanted to quit your dancing as it wasn’t giving you security? For a while you were as unsure & worried as you are now. But I took care of you.

I put into your hands the business of making glamour & fetish videos. It started small, just selling your pictures, & grew bigger & bigger.

You amassed a fortune within ten years, you made a million dollars & each year gave 10% to charity. With this business you proved yourself & have the magnificent property you have now.

{I was looking at the trees surrounding the huge field where my pond was, so beautiful. The hill to the left of the pond area is covered with trees 33 years old. It was a corn field, but I let it go to forest. The variety of the trees makes it scenic. There are some pines, Oak, Elm, willow, Birch, & many whose names I don’t know. It’s this variety that contrasts with the older forest past it in front of me & to the right, more beautiful than those. And beyond my property you can see a mountain, which is not mine, but adds to the décor tremendously. God gave me this through the business.}

Then the next step. You had taken the vow of celibacy. I had in mind for you a partner who would tolerate this & eventually become your husband without demanding sex. It was Richard Von Werder. I also gave you a best friend who you call Saint Esquire – they both helped you in many way. They made up for the unfairness of people in your past – your family & first husband, who denied you any kind of help, in fact, hurt you badly in all ways. These two men made up for all that. But if you had not been celibate, this would not have happened, you would not have given Richard a chance, you would be busy with other men, who were not worthy of you, who would continue to use you & give you nothing.

You did very well with your business for ten years, but when the internet appeared, it diminished. It was time for change. You had resisted marrying Richard for 16 years, but stayed best friends. You had to prove yourself, you did. And because you were dragging your heels on this, I tricked you into marrying him. I knew what was going to happen, that Richard didn’t have long to live & you would be left destitute as the business had now diminished, you were living on savings which were depleted.

As I said, you did not anticipate marrying Richard or him dying & leaving you a fortune as well as a good pension, but I had it planned out for your security & well being. Remember, it was my Grace that gave you the business & Richard. You figured out nothing, it happened because of me, your God.

Now once again, you are at a Crossroads. And you are troubled by what will happen & how. Looking back, as I reminded you, I had all things figured out, things you cannot understand. In the way I created your business & relationship with Richard, I will also do this. Your job is not to look at your problems or have doubts & fears, your job is to look at Me, God Almighty, with Faith, Hope, Trust & Confidence. You are a mere mortal, I have all the Power & I will use it to help you. That is all you have to know. The more you relate to me & think of Me, not your doubts & fears, the easier it will be for you.”

With God having said this, I trudged on, marveling at the beauty surrounding me.

The next trek was short grass; also saw tooth edges, about 100’. I counted my steps – could only go about 40 steps when I’d have to sit down, rest & pray for at least 5 minutes. What peace, what luxury, to own this property with perfect silence except for birds, a couple bullfrogs, the soft wind, the warm sun bathing me.

Finally got to the spot where the tiny pond was – no pond. Just the creek that runs through my entire property, coming out of a mountain, starting really rocky in my lower yard, ending up here & now a muddy creek, just maybe 5’ across in some places, a foot in others, only maybe 3” inches water & then mud. I didn’t dare step into it as I had to soon trek back, didn’t want to be covered in thick mud I couldn’t get off me. When it rains for days I imagine this creek gets full like it used to & water falls over a bank. The beavers had made it deep up to my chest in some areas. Why they left I don’t know, but one youngster moved into my other pond, where I anticipate going soon. It’ll be an ordeal, but I will manage.

At another pit stop God reminded me

“I don’t want you to work promoting your life story, trying to get someone to produce it. Let them come to you. They will push you around, humiliate you if you go on bended knee to them. I don’t want you suffering any more. You’ve had enough of that. Trust me on this.”

OK I trekked back. Did not hit the spot where my path was, was way off, ending at an impenetrable spot. But there were ripe black berries, I ate about 50 of them, then found my spot & what a relief to get back to the car! It took me a full hour to walk through this field, a full hour to walk back, counting my rest spots, for just 300’ or so of space!

But God spoke to me & the beauty was magnificent, it was worth it & I’m proud of myself.

Another thing God said to me telepathically:

“You cannot figure out how to build this Church & typing your brain into knots how to do it. Leave it to me. Didn’t I lead & guide you at the times you didn’t know how to do something? Did I not lead you step by step?

Like finding your house. You prayed for six months every day before you even ventured out, with Richard driving, to find a house. I instructed you what to look for – where to go. I told you to keep driving until you found a place with at least 15 acres – no less – that you could afford. You started looking in Woodstock, which is near the city, & it was too expensive. The Real Estate people told you not to go past Sullivan County, as they thought it was too low class.

But I encouraged you with the idea of getting more land. And on only the second time you ventured out, a listing was put into your hands. You were not going to go the next time, but I showed you the listing, a certain house, & I told you,

‘I have a house for one of my deserving poor. Go! You will be rich.’

You called the realtor – said you were interested but it said the house was with a few acres, but you wanted more land. The realtor said you could have it with 50 acres – he had divided it to sell in three parts, but you could have it all.

And when you went it was the most perfect paradise you ever dreamed of! And 25 years later, they found there was gas & oil under your property, the Marcellus Shale, & if you had listened to the realtors you would not have got it, but you listened to me!

Then, when you started your website, I had been whispering the name to you for over a year,’

‘Woman, Thou Art God’,

but you did not know what this title was for nor how to build your website, Church on the internet. You tried this idea, that idea, finally it came to rest, it is the University of Mother God Church & you would prove what you believe in through research.

It made a sensation & many people in the world saw it & were impressed. It got a million hits a year the first few years.

In 2004, few people were writing about Matriarchy or Female Supremacy, but this site started a trend, then many people got interested in these themes & created websites, blogs & Face Books about the subjects. You tube had almost nothing about Matriarchy, & after you, many videos were made. At that time you had about 250 videos there, mostly Matriarchy, Female Empowerment, – that was 2008. And many followed your lead.

And now you are querulous, how to build this Church. You are BAFFLED. So recall the items I just said, how I led you step by step. When you put your foot to the path, one step will lead to another & another, & soon, you will have a project that resembles a Church. You’ve created many parts, it will fall together. It won’t take as long as you think. By the time you die, it will all be together, logically & righteously. You’ll have the doctrine, theology, ideas, all put into one place, cohesive, integrated.

Keep your eyes on Me, not your fears & confusion. Just keep thinking of God & by my Grace, you will win. I have the answers, let me work. You just listen & obey.”

More thoughts from God on the subject:

“If you could figure out how to build a business from nothing – with the help of my Grace, & earn a million dollars in ten years – a difficult business you had never done before, you can figure how to build a Church.

Never in your life had you produced videos from original scripts, you did not know how to operate a video camera, video machines, lighting – make copies. You did original things, learned new stuff that seemed impossible at first, but you learned it. You figured out domination & fetishes, what domination was, how to do it, where to advertise, how to build up a mail-order list. Other women tried it – you knew them. They made no money, but the money you made was a miracle. Yes, you did a miracle listening to God.

And so it will be with the Church. You will start working on it & it will blossom as you go along. Stop worrying. The people you need to carry on after you die will come to you.”

College of God & Love, Core Tenets

St. Charbel Marries Me!

St Charbel marries me!

This made me querulous & I’ve been thinking about it for two days & finally decided Richard, my late husband, does represent St. Charbel & now I will attempt to analyze the symbols.

I am in my house & things are going real well because previously there had been things askew & cluttered, but because of Richard {he always represents someone who loves me in true love} having done something – not sure what – it’s all improved.

This house is different, however, than any house I’ve lived in. I have a super large kitchen, painted white, & in it there’s a large screen computer & that computer is pivotal to what’s happening here. I also see the living room next to the kitchen.

Richard is arriving & he’s very happy. He’s bought a new Ferrari, an extremely expensive car, & he always liked cars & you might say obsessed with them. I see a beautiful blue Ferrari. And yet, when he arrives, what I see literally is a light grey plastic oval tub he is in. He drives into my house & parks in the living room, beaming with joy.

Meaning: You’ve been praying to St. Charbel & looking at movies & documentaries on him. You’ve accepted him into your heart with love, & he has consented to unite with you, which makes him one more spiritual husband.

Me: Looks like I am collecting a harem of great Saints as spiritual husbands. Can you review what this means?

Mother God: This is when two souls are united in a Sacrament which on earth is called ‘marriage.’ Both parties consent to love one another in true love, for all time, to be united.

It seems to be happening more & more at a rate I never had before. Is it because I have evolved so much that these great Saints are willing to unite with me?

MG: Yes, your love has improved & increased. And it seems that St. Charbel is answering your prayers for help but in different ways than you asked for. This is the improvement of ‘your house.’ Your house is your consciousness.

The kitchen is the hub of a house, it’s where food/nourishment is made. Painted white is purity – ‘the pure in heart shall see God’ – chastity can also be defined as purity of heart rather than being sexless.

Now instead of physical food you are communicating with Charbel through the computer, by looking at materials on him. Then you connect with him.

And because you’re connecting with him he’s reaching you with his expensive vehicle but it’s a spiritual vehicle, it’s his mind or soul.

His very expensive vehicle is his mind/soul which he paid a dear price for – it looks like he prayed for the engraving of Christ’s wounds on his heart, which is Interior Divine Stigmata, as you have. That means martyrdom. The price for this spiritual power is great. Blue Ferrari, bue vehicle, is the ‘blue person’ as described in yoga, the Higher Self.

And when he arrives, the light grey plastic plus his joy again means mental contact. He is extremely happy to be united with you. Grey is ‘grey matter’ or the mind/brain symbol.

Me: Wow, am I lucky! Great things are happening to me, all because I pulled myself together to try to be with God, praying several hours a day for the entire world & Purgatory. Wonderful results! My new Gurus said

‘You are praying for the entire world every day so we are helping you!’

Amen & glory to God!

College of God & Love, Core Tenets

St Charbel Appears

St. Charbel Appears

This is a big deal: St. Charbel has more documented healings/miracles than any person besides Our Holy Mother – 69k of them!

So I figured if he’s on a healing kick, let me get in on it. I have many maladies: eye floaters, eyestrain/tinnitus, hurting back, both hips & legs hurting, post nasal drip & perpetually swelled up sinuses, insomnia & last but not least, a bad heart. If he could or would heal one or more of these issues, it would help.

So not having his ‘holy oil’ or a Cossack from his monastery to wear, the next best thing was his novena prayer, which I recited along with the Priest presenting it.

I watched two long videos about him, one of them twice. And I prayed a long time before going to sleep. He appears in dreams to people before or after a healing, sometimes giving them instructions what he wants them to do, like go to Mass each day the 22^nd of the month.

I saw the details on some of his miraculous healings.

Here’s the dream:

I’m in a place like a large apt building for college students. I have a sense of being ‘left out’ as they are all young, I’m old. I’m just here observing & trying to see where I can ‘fit in’ or who wants to befriend me.

First scene, I’m sitting kind of on the floor with a young male in front of me, a female to my right, a female to his left. He’s attractive.

He’s flirting with the female to his left, telling her about some work he could do for her, saying in a suggestive manner,

“I’m good with my hands.”

Both these females here are cute, so I feel he’d prefer them to me, but then my confidence increases as I speak. And I’m flirting with him.

I touch him in a sweet way – nothing extreme – just touch his sweater {it’s black} & maybe his cheek, telling him that I’m a cougar.

For all his bravado moments ago with that girl, he now gets embarrassed & shy’s away from me, getting closer to the girl – he’s lost his confidence.

He’s smiling & his jaw has decreased in size, so his teeth are now slightly bunched together.

Second scene: I’m in a different place in this building, a larger room.

There’s a super handsome/sexy young male lying back on a setee here & a female to my right. I glance at him & think he has beautiful tawny skin. He’s buff, handsome face & good thin body.

I was going to compliment him on his skin, but then I see I did not look carefully, it’s not his skin; he has on a long sleeved pink sweater, a loose knit.

I have that same feeling at first, of being ‘left out,’ as they are young, I’m old. The lady there is cute, he will prefer her.

But in the next moment, things change. The young man is suddenly naked & in my lap, straddling me, his legs around me, & he’s rocking with me, back & forth, saying,’

“Rocking is better than sex.”

So he came to me, he likes me! He’s not ignoring me! And I tell him,

“Cuddle therapy is great. I used to have a boyfriend I did cuddle therapy with once a day when he visited me.”

Prior to this he was thin,, his stomach flat, but now he has a pot belly & I iiss it. I also kiss his arm, it’s very cozy.

I see him more clearly now, young, with black straight hair, dark shining eyes.

Meaning: This is St. Charbel. The female you think he prefers to you is Our Holy Mother. He’s in love with her, the accounts said so. She’s the female to his left he’s flirting with.

The female to my right might be the cute young female – Gutierrez, that he healed of blindness. She gave a long detailed testimony.

You feeling ‘left out’ is your insecurity as to whether he wants to be friends with you or grace you with healing.

In the first scene, when you first pray to him which is seen as ‘flirting’ maybe because you said ‘I love you,’ he shy’s away from you & clings to the Holy Mother.

His jaw shrinking & teeth bunching up is his passiveness or submission to Holy Mary & God.

It might be saying he feared any association with females which was sexual.

Men’s jaws are bigger than women’s, when female bodybuilders started taking steroids their jaws expanded & they got ‘cornrow teeth, or spaces between them. This is the opposite, where his jaw has shrunk.

The next scene you are watching a different documentary about him, where the female he healed gives a long testimony. It’s like the 3 of you were together, & you suspect he cares for her, but not you.

His being on his back on a setee is submission, wearing pink is also feminine & shows his humbleness & submission to God.

But in the next moment he’s naked & in your lap, rocking you.

This is a sign of nourishing you with affection. Naked is completely open to you, not hiding or covering anything. Rocking is a comforting activity – rocking babies gives them brain stimulation & nourishment. They rocked in the Mother’s womb, whenever she moved, & this helped them develop. It has the same effect after they are born, it helps the brain form itself, good for the entire body. People feel comforted in rocking chairs. So He’s giving you consolation & nourishment although not the healing you prayed for.

The pot belly is he’s pregnant.

That means he received your love & something was conceived, there was fruit.

You kissing his belly & arm is you loving & admiring him.

So that’s it. You have a new Guru & powerful friend in Heaven.

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