Dream about marriage & sex interpreted for a friend
3-5-20-HES GOOD HUSBAND I SAY WE WILL DO SEX
John, my good husband, & I are standing around outside by the small bridge near the creek. He is facing away from the creek toward me, is wearing a white t-shirt, his hair curly honey blonde.
(BRIDGE, SMALL: A TRANSITION, A CHANGE.
CREEK: CARRIES THE GRACE OF GOD OR GOOD FORTUNE
FACING AWAY, FROM CREEK: HE DOES NOT SEE THIS GRACE COMING, NOT AWARE.
CURLY HAIR: WORRIED {IT’LL CURL YOUR HAIR}
HONEY BLONDE HAIR: HE HAS SWEET THOUGHTS ABOUT ME.
LOOKING AT ME: THINKING ABOUT ME.
WHITE T-SHIRT: HE WANTS MARRIAGE. THE WHITE IS OVER HIS HEART.)
This is like in real life, I’ve never had sex with John but a change has come over me. I tell him, as I have thought it out,
(CHANGE: THIS EXPLAINS THE BRIDGE OR CHANGE, IT’S ABOUT SEX.
I ASKED GOD TO GIVE ME A SIGN ABOUT WHEN TO START UP AGAIN & THE TIME IS COMING SOON.)
“It seems that you aren’t happy & neither am I.”
To myself I have thought about my revulsion to have sex with him – he doesn’t have any appeal to me. But I’m going to force myself to desire him – how bad could it be? I need sex & it might as well be my husband. We could both be happy if I make myself do it.
So I tell him I am going to allow him to do sex to me. He is just listening, he’s passive.
(PASSIVE: AMENABLE, COOPERATIVE, SUBMISSIVE–TO ME IN THIS SITUATION.)
I am wearing a white hat, the kind sailors wear, only the rim of it is wider than sailor’s. It’s pushed back on my forehead; I seem to be adjusting it. I don’t see any of the hair on my head, it’s under my hat.
(UNDER MY HAT: THIS IS A SECRET TO HIM, NOT TO ME. MY THOUGHTS {HAIR} ABOUT IT ARE SECRET.
HAT, WHITE: MARRIAGE, MARRIAGE MINDED
FOREHEAD, PUSHED BACK ON: EXPOSING MY THOUGHTS OR DECISION.)
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SYMBOLS IN THE DREAM OF 3-5-20
BRIDGE, SMALL: A TRANSITION, A CHANGE. A bridge takes us from one place to another, not necessarily to a physical place but mental, emotional or spiritual place. It could also be any venue, any change, from one thing to another, like one job or project leading to another.
CREEK: CARRIES THE GRACE OF GOD OR GOOD FORTUNE. Water is often grace because we need water so badly, we couldn’t live without it, ditto for the Grace of God.
FACING AWAY, FROM CREEK: HE DOES NOT SEE THIS GRACE COMING, NOT AWARE. This grace is something that will make him happy but he’s not aware it’s coming.
CURLY HAIR: WORRIED {IT’LL CURL YOUR HAIR.} Hair has to do with the mind or brain, as hair is coming ‘out of the head.’ It represents what comes out of our head, brain or mind. Hair getting ‘curled’ is like a person cringing or retreating into themselves through stress—the opposite being free flowing & relaxed. Curly hair is not relaxed.
HONEY BLONDE HAIR: HE HAS SWEET THOUGHTS ABOUT ME. Honey is sweet.
LOOKING AT ME: THINKING ABOUT ME. You are usually thinking about what you are looking at.
WHITE T-SHIRT: HE WANTS MARRIAGE. THE WHITE IS OVER HIS HEART. White often represents marriage. It can mean other things, but you interpret according to what is the dream about? The dream is about a romantic relationship so this indicates marriage.
CHANGE: THIS EXPLAINS THE BRIDGE OR CHANGE, IT’S ABOUT SEX. From no sex (what he was worried about) to having sex.
I ASKED GOD TO GIVE ME A SIGN ABOUT WHEN TO START UP AGAIN & THE TIME IS COMING SOON. God or our unconscious often speaks to us through our dreams. {Nightmares are usually from demons or demonic energies, or else our fears–could also be warnings from the Heavenly realm—I have had frightening warnings from God to stop doing something, & if not, God would ‘kill me.’ I obeyed & it was the right thing to do, which God knew would lead to dire consequences—but I was unaware. God wanted no refusal on my part & stated her Will in no uncertain terms.}
PASSIVE: AMENABLE, COOPERATIVE, SUBMISSIVE–TO ME IN THIS SITUATION. Again, passive can be interpreted in other ways, always look to the content & meaning of the dream to apply the symbols.
UNDER MY HAT: THIS IS A SECRET TO HIM, NOT TO ME. MY THOUGHTS {HAIR} ABOUT IT ARE SECRET. Since people can’t see under your hat, it’s hidden. And what is under your hat is your brain or mind, so your thoughts are secret.
HAT, WHITE: MARRIAGE, MARRIAGE MINDED
FOREHEAD, PUSHED BACK ON: EXPOSING MY THOUGHTS OR DECISION. Again, a white hat can mean other things but in the context of this dream it means this.
First dream was about Elvis & it was joyful. There was a stage. We were taking turns performing, Elvis was on stage, I was on stage, for a while two people were on this stage that were ‘filling in’ for us. Their stage was all lustrous mint green, padded as if blankets underneath.
(STAGE, PADDED: THIS WAS YOUR BED, ON WHICH YOU & HE PERFORMED. THE DESCRIPTIONS ARE YOUR OWN SHEETS IN REAL LIFE BEING MINT GREEN, LUSTROUS. THESE ‘FILL INS’ ARE WHEN YOU TWO WERE ‘AT PEACE’ WHICH WERE ‘IN BETWEEN’ THE UPS & DOWN. THE TIMES WHEN THE *STAGE* IS IN *REDS, BLUES & BLACKS* IS WHEN YOU WERE ON & OFF WITH YOUR LOVER DON. HALF THE TIME HE WAS MISERABLE AS HE WASN’T SURE IF YOU LOVED HIM.
ELVIS: THIS IS THE LOVER DON. WHY IS HE ELVIS? BECAUSE YOU WERE MADLY IN LOVE WITH ELVIS AS A CHILD, AGE 10-12, & THIS WAS/IS A ‘CRAZY LOVE’ ALSO. WHEN YOU DREAM OF CELEBRITIES THAT YOU LOVED, IT’S USUALLY SOMEONE DIFFERENT THAT YOU RELATED TO–IN DREAMS IT’S A VOCABULARY OF SYMBOLS. MEN WILL DREAM OF SEXY FEMALE STARS BUT THEY MIGHT REPRESENT WOMEN THEY KNOW. IN THIS DREAM ELVIS IS THE GOOD SIDE OF DON WHILE KAHELL THE BAD SIDE, THE DR. JEKYL & MR. HYDE.)
The stages always had soft cushions. For Elvis & me they were glittery—reds, blacks, dark blues maybe, but sparkly like that ghoulish guy with mask that jumped into the boxing ring, covered in all sparkle/sequins in dark colors. The floors of the stage are not wood, they are padded with cloth on top, puffy & beautiful. We were HAPPY most of the time.
(YOU WERE HAPPY WHEN YOU WERE TOGETHER, OTHERWISE YOU COULD NOT HAVE STOOD STAYING TOGETHER, AS IT WAS ROCKY. IN OTHER WORDS, YOU BORE THE BAD TIMES WISHING TO RETURN TO THE GOOD TIMES.)
But El had one problem that made him miserable, he thought I didn’t love him, but I did. There are many performances, he seems to ‘go away’ thinking I don’t love him then comes back super-joyful when he finds out that I do. Of course I love him, it’s ridiculous to think I don’t.
(HE WAS UN RIGHTEOUSLY UNCERTAIN OF YOUR LOVE. HE’S INCREDIBLY INSECURE, TROUBLED FROM INNER CONFLICTS.)
The stage is set in a room & it’s to the side, against the wall (just like the bed in my apt), not real big but about 15’long & maybe 8’ wide & seems to be trimmed all around with a band of sequins if El or I is performing.
(THE *SEQUINS* REPRESENT THE GLAMOUR & DRAMA OF WHEN YOU WERE TOGETHER, ‘PERFORMING’ OR ACTING ON THE STAGE OF LIFE. THERE WERE GOOD & BAD TIMES, BUT IT WAS ALWAYS DRAMA.)
The highlight of this is when he thinks I don’t love him & how happy he is to return & find that I do.
(PERHAPS THAT’S WHAT HE LIVED FOR. HE TREATED YOU BADLY; MOST WOMEN WOULD HAVE GIVEN UP. BUT IT ALWAYS THRILLED HIM WHEN YOU RECEIVED HIM BACK, A RELIEF, A TRIUMPH. HIS BAD BEHAVIOR PUSHED YOU AWAY & HE KNEW IT; HE FEARED LOSING YOU. HIS TRUE LOVE ALWAYS BROUGHT HIM BACK & YOU HAD JOYFUL REUNIONS.)
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KAHELL THE EVIL ONE
Long ago I had a bf named Kahell, & he’s back, & he’s here with me, but in the scenes he has another female who is a fool & an idiot.
(THIS *FOOL*, IDIOT COULD BE HIS PRESENT GF OR YOURSELF IN THE PAST. EITHER WAY, SHE WILL BE GONE, BOTH OF THEM; THE OTHER GF & THE FOOLISH YOU—YOU HAVE CHANGED.)
Kahell was everything bad—a coke addict, criminal, greedy, selfish con man, the lowest of the low. Hard to think about him he was so evil & I was involved. His presence is repulsive.
(KAHELL: THIS IS THE SAME MAN YOU LOVED WHO LOVED YOU, AT HIS WORST, HIS DARK SIDE.)
First I see us at the old farm house. This female with him is short & slightly plump, like shortish arms & legs & filled out. She seems immature & egotistical.
(AGAIN, THIS IS PROBABLY TWO DIFFERENT WOMEN UNDER THE SAME BANNER, THE FEMALE HE EXPLOITS RIGHT NOW, & YOUR FOOLISH SELF IN THE PAST, WHEN YOU ACTED IN AN IMMATURE & EGOTISTICAL MANNER.)
Her egotism seems focused on praising Kahell. He’s naked here with us in the kitchen. She says how well built he is, he’s 6’2”, has muscles, not sure about his penis, it’s there but I don’t agree with his so-called ‘beauty,’ he repulses me. I see him sort of ‘emerging’ from the side of the table I’m sitting, like reaching out for something, like a person playing basketball & reaching for the ball, his body on say a 75 degree angle.
(THIS IS WHEN DON, THE LOVER, BECOMES THE ‘HYDE’ OF JEKYLL & HYDE. HE’S EVERYTHING BAD, HE’S REPULSIVE.
GF, SHORT, PLUMP IMMATURE: THIS MIGHT BE HIS REAL OTHER GF WHO HE DRUGS WITH, ACCORDING TO THIS SHE’S A FOOL & AN IDIOT, BUT SO WAS I. IT SEEMS LIKE SHE ACCEPTS HIS DARK SIDE, THE WORST OF HIM, & PRAISES HIM—SO DID I. HER PHYSICAL APPEARANCE BELIES ‘AVERAGE GIRL’ ON THE INTERIOR PLANE. IT COULD APPLY TO YOU WHEN YOU REVERTED TO THE FLESH.
YOU ARE NOT REPULSED BY ANYTHING PHYSICAL, BUT HIS CHARACTER & ACTIONS. ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE SYMBOLISM IN PHYSICAL FORMS.)
We are all three around for a long time. There’s something about after a while he wants to know if we’re gong to be friendly, affectionate, maybe make love. I tell him I do need affection, but I cannot deal with him, be with him while he’s with his gf. He thinks it’s alright, but I don’t.
(BEING THE LOWLIFE THAT HE IS, HE WANTS TO HAVE THE OTHER GIRL & YOU, BUT YOU REFUSE. IF HE’S WITH HER, HE CANNOT BE WITH YOU. THIS IS A CHANGE FROM WHAT WENT ON BEFORE, AS YOU EXPECTED HIM TO BREAK UP ANY TIME, BUT IT’S BEEN DRAGGING ON TOO LONG. HERE YOU ARE NO LONGER THE ‘FOOL-IDIOT’ SHE IS.
HIS REACHING LIKE *PLAYING BASKETBALL*, AWAY FROM MY TABLE, IS HE IS ‘PLAYING GAMES’ WITH ME, AS HE STRETCHES OR LEANS AWAY FROM ME, HE’S NOT BEING SERIOUS.)
She at one point is standing in the room bragging about her ‘prowess’ with him – that no one can take him from her – he’s standing past her. I seem to be ‘hovering’ above, & I say,
“How dare you!”
(THE HIGHER PART OF YOU KNOWS SHE’S WRONG BECAUSE WHEN HE COMES TO HIS SENSES YOU ARE GOING TO COMMAND HIM. SHE’S BEING PRESUMPTUOUS.)
The next scene is we’re in my apt in B’klyn. I despise this couple, but they are living with me. I wish I could make them leave, but how?
(COUPLE, YOU DESPISE THEM: YOU DESPISE THIS COUPLE BEING TOGETHER, YOU WISH THEY WOULD BREAK UP. BEING WITH YOU, LIVING OFF YOU, IS THEY ARE IN YOUR HEAD LIVING OFF YOUR ENERGY. YOU WANT TO GET THEM—AS A COUPLE—OUT OF YOUR MIND. THEY ARE ‘LIVING RENT FREE IN YOUR HEAD.’
*APT, B’KLYN* IS A PLACE OF PENANCE, CHANGE & REVELATION.)
On one wall is a hanging shoe holder – I used to have one. In it are about 20 pairs of shoes of mine like new. Next to the shoes are greeting cards looking the same way.
(*SHOES*: THESE ARE THE LESSONS IN MY LIFE. ‘WALK A MILE IN MY SHOES’ & THE ‘GIFT OF THE GURU SANDALS’ BOTH APPLY. THE FIRST IS ‘EXPERIENCE IS THE BEST TEACHER.’ THE SECOND IS A GURU IS ONE WHO TEACHES OR ENLIGHTENS YOU. THIS IS SAYING I HAVE LEARNED MANY LESSONS OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP.
*GREETING CARDS*, LIKE SHOES: GREETING CARDS COMMEMORATE HOLIDAYS, SEASONS, EVENTS, & SO THIS UNDERSCORES HOW THE PASSAGE OF TIME, WITH ITS CHANGES, DRAMAS & EVENTS, ‘WE LIVE & WE LEARN.’)
Hard to recall what happens here just as I wish & hope they would leave – why are they here. They are living off me.
(EXPLAINED PREVIOUSLY)
Finally one day they gather their belongings & exit out the door. After he’s past the door I recall he has the key! I need the key back. I understand he is secretly planning to use the key to come back, so I am not safe!
(*KEY*, HE STILL HAS THE KEY: THIS HAS A TWOFOLD MEANING PROBABLY, BECAUSE THE RELATIONSHIP GOES BOTH WAYS. HE HAS THE KEY TO GET BACK INTO YOUR MIND & HEART – YOU HAVE A FEAR OF HIS EVIL NATURE, HIS DARK SIDE RETURNING.
HE ALSO HAS INTENTIONS OF RETURNING TO BE WITH YOU, IN REAL LIFE.
THIS ALLUDES TO THE FACT THAT THE OTHER FEMALE WILL DEPART, BECAUSE IT IS ‘THEY’ WHO LEAVE & ONLY HE HAS THE KEY, NOT HER & YOU KNOW HE IS SECRETLY PLANNING TO RETURN, BUT IT DOES NOT MENTION HER.
‘THEY’ LEAVING IS ALSO THE FOOLISH YOU DISAPPEARING WITH HIM.)
Next scene I am outside, riding in a car where three people are in front, the brother of an ex bf of mine is driving, Kahell is on my right. I tell Kahell I want my key back. He’s wearing a dark {charcoal black} pin-striped suit, black with lighter very thin stripes.
(INTERESTING, UNUSUAL SYMBOLS.
THE BOY DRIVING IS ONE WHO HAS BEEN IN JAIL FOR A FAIRLY LONG TIME {IN REAL LIFE}; THIS MEANS HE’S OUT. THE ‘BROTHER’ IS ACTUALLY THE MAIN PRINCIPAL– DON – WHOSE ALTER EGO IS KAHELL.
THIS SAYS DON HAS BEEN *RELEASED FROM PRISON*. WHAT IS THE *PRISON*? THE PRISON OF HIS MIND, HIS HEART, WHICH WAS TAKEN OVER BY DRUGS & THIS OTHER WOMAN, NOW HE IS FREE.
*PIN-STRIPED SUIT*, BLACK WITH THIN LIGHT VERTICAL LINES:
NOW THE EVIL SELF, KAHELL, IS IMPRISONED OR UNDER LOCK & KEY. {PIN STRIPED DARK SUIT, ESPECIALLY WITH *VERTICAL STRIPES* IS LIKE THE BARS OF A CAGE, MEANS BEING IMPRISONED.} THE ‘*DRIVER*’ OR ACTIVE SELF, ONE IN CHARGE, IS NOW THE ‘GOOD SELF’ COME BACK; HIS BAD SELF PUT AWAY. THE GOOD SELF IS OBEDIENT & GIVES YOU YOUR KEY – NO CONSPIRACIES, HE WILL NOT INVADE YOU WITHOUT PERMISSION, HE WILL WAIT FOR YOU TO OPEN THE DOOR, WHICH SHOWS RESPECT.
THE BAD SELF DOES NOT WANT TO RETURN THE KEY FOR WHAT REASON? MAYBE HE NO LONGER HAS IT, NO LONGER HAS THE ABILITY TO TORMENT YOU. MAYBE SINCE HE’S ‘PUT DOWN’ HE HASN’T GOT THE ABILITY TO ACT IN ANY WAY, HAS TO JUST SIT IN HIS CELL OR ‘STAY DEAD.’ HIS INTENTIONS WOULD STILL BE EVIL BUT HE’S POWERLESS TO ACT.)
Surprisingly, the brother takes out a key – my key – gives it back to me—I didn’t even know he had it. Kahell doesn’t want to return my key.
DREAM PREDICTS ROCKY RELATIONSHIP WILL HAVE POSITIVE OUTCOME
*STAGE, PADDED*:
THIS WAS YOUR BED, ON WHICH YOU & HE PERFORMED. THE DESCRIPTIONS ARE YOUR OWN SHEETS IN REAL LIFE BEING MINT GREEN, LUSTROUS. THESE ‘FILL INS’ ARE WHEN YOU TWO WERE ‘AT PEACE’ WHICH WERE ‘IN BETWEEN’ THE UPS & DOWN. THE TIMES WHEN THE *STAGE* IS IN *REDS, BLUES & BLACKS* IS WHEN YOU WERE ON & OFF WITH YOUR LOVER DON. HALF THE TIME HE WAS MISERABLE AS HE WASN’T SURE IF YOU LOVED HIM.
BOTH ELVIS & KAHELL ARE DON, YOUR LOVER, ELVIS THE GOOD SIDE & KAHELL THE BAD, LIKE DR. JEKYL & MR. HYDE. IT’S OUR PRIMITIVE, HUMAN NATURE THAT CAN BE CORRUPT VS OUR DIVINE NATURE. THE EVIL SIDE OF OURSELVES CONTAINS ALL THE BAD TRAITS BY WHICH WE HURT OTHERS.
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*SEQUINS*
REPRESENT THE GLAMOUR & DRAMA OF WHEN YOU WERE TOGETHER, ‘PERFORMING’ OR ACTING ON THE STAGE OF LIFE. THERE WERE GOOD & BAD TIMES, BUT IT WAS ALWAYS DRAMA.
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*FOOL, IDIOT*:
SOMEONE THINKING IN THE FLESH. IN THIS CASE HIS PRESENT FEMALE WHO ALLOWS HERSELF TO BE USED, & IN THE PAST, YOURSELF WHO PUT UP WITH HIS ABUSE.
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*BASKETBALL*:
REFERS TO HIS ‘PLAYING GAMES’, NOT BEING SERIOUS, MANIPULATING YOU.
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*GIRL FRIEND, SHORT, PLUMP*:
GF, SHORT, PLUMP IMMATURE: THIS MIGHT BE HIS REAL OTHER GF WHO HE DRUGS WITH, ACCORDING TO THIS SHE’S A FOOL & AN IDIOT, BUT SO WAS I. IT SEEMS LIKE SHE ACCEPTS HIS DARK SIDE, THE WORST OF HIM, & PRAISES HIM—SO DID I. HER PHYSICAL APPEARANCE BELIES ‘AVERAGE GIRL’ ON THE INTERIOR PLANE. IT COULD APPLY TO YOU WHEN YOU REVERTED TO THE FLESH.
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*HOVERING, ABOVE HER*:
THE HIGHER PART OF YOU KNOWS SHE’S WRONG BECAUSE WHEN HE COMES TO HIS SENSES YOU ARE GOING TO COMMAND HIM. SHE’S BEING PRESUMPTUOUS.
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*APT, B’KLYN*:
IS A PLACE OF PENANCE, CHANGE, REVELATION, GREAT SPIRITUAL EVENTS.
THE PLACE WHERE THE DREAM PRESENTS ITS SCENES GIVES BIG CLUES. WHAT DID THIS PLACE MEAN TO YOU? WHAT HAPPENED THERE? THE SAME IS HAPPENING AGAIN.
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*SHOES*:
THESE ARE THE LESSONS IN MY LIFE. ‘WALK A MILE IN MY SHOES’ & THE ‘GIFT OF THE GURU SANDALS’ BOTH APPLY. THE FIRST IS ‘EXPERIENCE IS THE BEST TEACHER.’ THE SECOND IS A GURU IS ONE WHO TEACHES OR ENLIGHTENS YOU. THIS IS SAYING I HAVE LEARNED MANY LESSONS OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP.
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*KEY*:
HE STILL HAS THE KEY: HE HAS THE KEY TO GET BACK INTO YOUR MIND & HEART – YOU HAVE A FEAR OF HIS EVIL NATURE, HIS DARK SIDE RETURNING.
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*BROTHER, DRIVING*:
IN THIS DREAM THE BRO IS A PERSON WHO IN REAL LIFE IS HERE WHICH MEANS HE GOT OUT OF JAIL. BUT AGAIN, THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE BRO, IT’S ABOUT THE SAME PERSON, DON, WHO’S APPEARED AS A ‘GOOD GUY ELVIS’ & ‘BAD GUY KAHELL.’
NOW HE BECOMES ‘THE ONE RELEASED FROM A PRISON.’ TO SAY HE’S HERE DRIVING, MEANS THE FREED-UP DON IS NOW IN CHARGE. I’M IN THE CAR WITH KAHELL TO THE RIGHT OF ME, I’M IN THE MIDDLE, IS TO SAY DON HAS BEEN LIBERATED FROM THE PRISON HE WAS IN –THE EVIL MENTAL STATE HE WAS IN BEFORE.
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*PIN STRIPED SUIT*:
KAHELL, THE EVIL ONE, IS TO THE RIGHT IN THIS CAR BUT HE’S WEARING A CHARCOAL BLACK VERTICALLY STRIPLED SUIT. THIS MEANS HE IS CAGED AS THE VERTICAL STRIPLES SAY SO, LIKE THE BARS OF A CAGE OR PRISON. THE GOOD GUY IS IN CHARGE OR ‘DRIVING’ WHILE THE BAD GUY IS SUBDUED.
I’m in a house with my little daughter. She’s really small, like 2 or 3 yrs old but very active like a 7 yr old.
(THIS IS MY FLESH IN A HUMBLE STATE, LIKE A CHILD—THE SMALLER THE CHILD COULD BE THE MORE HUMBLE ONE IS.)
The house is a combo of the old farm house plus this one but different than both, nicer.
I’m looking at my feet as I get dressed. The shoes I try on are good, I don’t want to spoil them just on a plain walk, am saving them for special occasions. Especially beautiful are these sandals which have a wide transparent band around the front, my toes inside are beautiful with long nails, & I can spread my toes which I do. I decide not to ruin my shoes on this walk & go barefoot, thinking it’s the city, will my feet be safe?
(GOIND BAREFOOT IS LIKE THE ‘DISCALCED CARMELITES’ – THEY STAYED THAT WAY EVEN IN WINTER, OUT OF HUMILITY. THEN WHEN MOSES CONFRONTED THE BURNING BUSH GOD TOLD HIM ‘TAKE OFF YOUR SANDALS, THIS IS HALLOWED GROUND.’ THIS MEANS THAT WHERE I’M GOING IS ‘HALLOWED GROUND,’ WHICH IS PURGATORY. TAKING OFF ONE’S SHOES IN A PLACE SHOWS RESPECT.
SECOND INTERPRETATION IS THESE ARE THE ‘SANDALS OF THE GURU’ WHICH IS EQUIVALENT IN YOGA TERMS TO THE CHRISTIAN PROPHET WHO GAVE HIS MANTLE TO THE NEXT GUY BEFORE HE DIED. IT SIGNIFIES TRANSFERENCE OF ANOINTING.
TRANSPARENT PLASTIC BANDS ON MY SANDALS, CAN SEE THE BEAUTIFUL FEET & TOES. LEGS ARE THE STRENGTH OF GETTING SOMEWHERE MYSTICALLY, TRAVELLING WITHIN THE ‘NEXT WORLD’ OR THE UNDERLYING REALITY IN THIS ONE, FEET BEING PART OF THAT, MEANING ‘WALK A MILE IN MY SHOES’ WHICH SAYS A LOT, IT SIGNIFIES UNDERSTANDING, EXPERIENCE & COMPASSION, ONENESS WITH ANOTHER BEING. THIS SAYS I HAVE THOSE ABILITIES, & I’M GOING TO USE THEM RIGHT NOW. AND SO YOU SEE I AM WITH THE HOLY SOULS.
BAREFOOT ALSO SIGNIFIES ‘OPENNESS.’)
My daughter wants to be with me wherever I go, but right now I want to take a walk by myself so I have to lock her down, as she’s like an escape artist. After I think I’ve secured her she finds another door unlocked & opens it. I lock it. It’s funny how she’s so little but reaches up to the doorknob & opens the door. I try to explain to her to behave while I’m out & just stay put.
(MY GOING ALONE, WITHOUT MY DAUGHTER OR FLESH, IS THIS VISION & UNDERSTANDING, THIS VISIT WITH SOULS IN PURGATORY IS NOT FOR THE HUMAN SELF, IT IS THE PREROGATIVE OR ABILITY OF THE GOD SELF ALONE. I CANNOT TAKE MY BODY INTO THIS, IN OTHER WORDS.
I HAVE TO ‘LOCK HER DOWN’ WHILE MY GOD SELF GOES SOME PLACE.)
As I start to leave I go through the middle room in which stand five or so strangers – men & women. Instead of me asking them who they are, they all ask me who I am. Apparently they know some of my relatives but not me. I try to tell them I am my sister’s sister—maybe they know her.
(THESE ARE FIVE PEOPLE FROM PURGATORY IN WHAT APPEARS AS ‘AVERAGE’ STATES (stated below) – NOT SUFFERING GREATLY. PERHAPS THEY ARE ABOUT TO ASCEND. THESE PEOPLE ARE UNKNOWN TO ME.
ALL THIS IS DONE BY VISION. THE SYMBOLS OF CENTER – CENTER ROOM, ALLFACINGCENTER—SEEMS TO REPRESENT GOING ‘WITHIN,’ CENTERING ONESELF ON GOD. ONE CANNOT HAVE THEIR MIND ON THE WORLD OR THE FLESH TO HAVE THESE VISIONS & VISITS WITH PURGATORY.)
One of the men puts his hand on my left breast & keeps it there. I seem to be wearing a red dress as I look down. Each of these persons is standing & all casual, maybe leaning on things, & all around the room in a broken circle, all facing the center of the room. The room has all kinds of furniture. They’re dressed like average people & all look average.
(APPARENTLY I INCUR SOME SUFFERING FOR THIS MAN, AS WHEN HE TOUCHES ME ON MY LEFT BREAST, WHICH MEANS HEART & LOVE, I SEE MY DRESS BEING RED, WHICH MEANS I EXPERIENCE PAIN.
THE PAIN I RECENTLY UNDERWENT WAS WHEN THREE PEOPLE TURNED ON ME IN HATE & ANGER—ONE OF THEM WAS A MAN. I FORGAVE THEM ALL. THE GRACE OF THIS FORGIVENESS COULD HAVE GONE TO A SOUL IN PURGATORY—WHAT WE SUFFER RIGHTEOUSLY HAS MERIT, FORGIVENESS IS CHARITY—CHARITY GIVES GREAT HELP TO SOULS.)
I then go outside into the street where my sister has been walking our dogs, two on a leash, one loose. It seems to be night, but lit up by street lights. The loose one stands over a grating in the middle of the street & pisses into it. He has unusual hair or fur – yellow with grey border in patterns, the fur is like short yarns hanging off him. I hope he’ll be safe in the middle of the street; he seems to be resting there now. I pray a car doesn’t hit him.
The two dogs on black leather leashes I don’t see clearly, I think they’re medium sized short haired grey one with a medium-big head like a Great Dane.
(DOGS REPRESENT OUR INNER SENSES—MY SISTER IS MY PRAGMATIC SELF.
THE DOGS ON A LEASH COULD BE PSYCHIC SENSES, TWO KINDS AS THERE ARE TWO DOGS. I THINK THIS BECAUSE THEY’RE GREY & ONE HAS A ‘LARGER HEAD’. THEN THESE MIGHT BE MENTAL PERCEPTIONS, AS GREY IS OFTEN ‘GREY MATTER’ OR BRAIN.
THE YELLOW ONE ON TOP OF THE GRATE SO FAR HAS ME STUMPED. IT MIGHT TAKE ME DAYS TO FIGURE IT, I WILL ADD AN ADDENDUM.
PISSING CAN BE CONTEMPT, AS ‘I’LL PISS ON YOUR GRAVE’ – BUT THERE’S A FAR CHANCE IT MIGHT BE WATERING SOMETHING WHICH WOULD BE GIVING IT GRACE & LIFE.) IF WHAT IS UNDERGROUND BELOW THE GRATE IS PURGATORY, THEN MY SENSE MIGHT BE WATERING OR REFRESHING IT.
IF WHAT IS UNDERGROUND IS HELL THEN MY SENSE MIGHT HAVE CONTEMPT FOR THE DEMONS & SO ‘PISSES’ ON THEM. IT MIGHT BE SAYING ‘WE HAVE BEATEN YOU – JESUS HAS – BY HIS BLOOD, HIS CROSS, HIS DEATH.’
LYING DOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET THEREAFTER, RESTING, IS DOING SOMETHING OBVIOUS, OPEN & PUBLIC, EVEN AT ONE’S RISK PERHAPS.
I MUST PONDER THE MEANING OF HIS COAT. IF IT LOOKS LIKE A MOP, MADE OF THREADS OR CLOTH, IT COULD MEAN MY SENSE IS HELPING TO CLEANSE THE SOUL – MOPPING IS CLEANING.)
I ask her who those five people in the house are & she says,
“They’re Mother’s people” or
“They’re from Mother”
some words like that.
(IF THIS IS MY EARTHLY MOTHER SHE’S IN HEAVEN & SENDING ME FIVE ASSOCIATES OF HERS TO HELP.
I HAVE GREAT POWER RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I’M SAYING THE HOLY MASS. NOTHING GETS SOULS OUT FASTER THAN THE BODY & BLOOD OF JESUS & MARY!
THIS UNDERSCORES WHAT I’VE BEEN TOLD ABOUT THE MINISTRY, THAT IT IS NOT THE DESIGNATED PLACE OF THOSE IN HEAVEN TO REACH PURGATORY, IT IS OURS.
I BELIEVE IT’S BECAUSE WE MUST LEARN TO USE OUR CHARITY – THE SOULS IN HEAVEN HAVE FINISHED GAINING MERITS—THEY CAN GAIN NO MORE, SOMEHOW IT’S IN THE INCREASE OF MERITS OR CHARITY THAT GIVES US THE POWER TO AID SOULS.
BUT THERE ARE SUPER-SPECIAL SAINTS LIKE JESUS & MARY WHO GO TO PURGATORY REGULARLY–THEY ARE EXCEPTIONS. PERHAPS IT IS ONLY THE HIGHEST IN HEAVEN WHO CAN DO THIS, IT MIGHT BE THOSE SOULS WHO ON EARTH MINISTERED TO THEM, THEY’RE ALLOWED TO CONTINUE FROM HEAVEN {I hope I’ll be one of them.}
FROM WHAT I’VE EXPERIENCED, SOULS IN HEAVEN USE US AS PARTNERS TO GET THEIR LOVED ONES UP. IN THE PREVIOUS DREAM I EXPLAINED HOW ERROL FLYNN USED ME TO GET HIS WIDOW & BEVERLY AADLAND UP.)
I tell her about the man holding my breast & she says
“I’m sorry.”
(THIS BEING SORRY MIGHT NOT BE BECAUSE OF A SOUL IN PURGATORY, BUT THE MAN ON EARTH WHO HURT ME I FORGAVE, AS IT’S HIGHLY UNUSUAL FOR ME TO FEEL PAIN FROM OUR ‘HOLY SOULS.’
—{But there is another factor: If it’s a ‘bad ghost’ as in Amy Allen’s “Dead Files”—these are renegades & apparently God allows them to roam the earth, the way She permits demons—some of these souls are demoniacs. Amy Allen goes to haunted houses to ferret out what is there torturing the living. This type of thing is not what I do, although I’ve been doing exorcisms most of my life—*everyone should learn exorcism as demons & demonic souls are all over the place. Look on my website www.WomanThouArtGod for instructions on exorcism & how to say the Holy Mass.*
I had a great experience with Amy Allen. On Christmas 2018 she appeared to me & gave me her ‘mantle’ or Anointing. This means, in theory, that she gave me her Power—this makes her my most recent Guru. I have not yet tried to use her power, my ministry to souls has been private, praying & saying Mass at home—I have not gone to haunted houses to do what she does. Perhaps the time will come when I might be called to use her Power—who knows.)
—I have experienced direct pain from a soul in Purgatory only ONCE in my entire life. It was Dean Martin & he gave me excruciating head pain from his jealousy over Jerry Lewis & Frank Sinatra—they were his partners & he thought they were getting more attention.
In addition to that, the only discomfort I recall from a soul was my first husband Stanley. For many years he appeared to me & still hated me *unjustly*. When an angel told him I got married again & my second husband died & prospered me he was angry—he made me suffer & wanted me to continue life in poverty. Finally I asked God not to show me him any more, but last year I relented. This act of charity triggered his release, & I had one more vision of him ascended—it was over after 55 years of cleansing! And each vision of him until the last one was painful.
But I must say, & this is important, most of my contact with the souls goes from pleasant to joyful, to even blissful or ecstatic. The Presence of God is Powerful in these transactions. Yes, some of the souls I see are terribly unhappy, crying in torture—but once they are shown to me means I get busy doing good for them, & each time they are shown they have improved, getting more & more happy, which makes me happy, & finally, on their day of release I share their great joy!
It is awful to see some of these souls so abandoned. None of their relatives prays for them or has Masses said – those that do is usually only the beginning, right after they die – & sometimes they have an annual Mass said for them at best. Many souls have no assistance whatsoever. They sit in their dungeon or cave completely alone, isolated, forgotten, crying, crying, why does no one help them? The living are too busy with their worldly pursuits to even care.
And what about the benighted Protestants? Martin Luther did an awful thing by adding one word in the bible, from ‘by faith’ to ‘by faith ALONE.’ The to-be-pitied Protestants think that no matter what sins they have committed & how many, they will go straight to Heaven by believing in Jesus. ‘The devils believe & tremble.’ We all pay for our own sins through the fires & torments of Purgatory—The worst pain in both Hell & Purgatory, the saints teach, is the absence of God. They say that on earth the soul did not think about God, but in Hell they can think of nothing else. And in Purgatory they long for God with hunger & thirst, waiting, waiting, it always seems so long as there is no time in the afterlife. It feels never ending.
Then there are those that everyone assumes ‘went to Hell—so why pray for them? They judge & condemn more quickly than they forgive. Two examples: Timothy McVeigh & Errol Flynn. People think of their transgression, unaware how they suffered. I reached Tim McVeigh & we got him out, ditto Errol Flynn. Recently I wrote about him under one of his videos on You Tube. An angry man posted saying Errol was a die-hard sex sinner & went to Hell……
Never forget ‘judge not, lest ye be judged.’ Remember ‘the woman caught in adultery, in the very act’ – Jesus said, “He who has no sin cast the first stone.” Someone said that what he wrote in the sand were the private sins of the individuals who condemned her—each one dropped his stone when he saw his sin revealed. Jesus then said, “Woman, where are your accusers?”)
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SYMBOLS OF THE 2-28-20 DREAM: 5 SOULS HELPED FROM PURGATORY
CHILD, DAUGHTER: This is usually my flesh
MOM: In this dream, it’s likely my earthly Mom. Mom can be Mother God, the God Self within, or any maternal figure we are talking about.
BAREFOOT, GOING BAREFOOT: This is respect, humility & openness in whatever happens in the dream. In this case, visiting Purgatory.
ALONE, I GO ALONE: When visiting Purgatory I do not take the flesh, it’s the Spirit that travels, she is left behind even though we’re in ‘nonduality.’
STRANGERS, 5 FROM MY MOM: In this dream, 5 people in Purgatory who were associated with my earthly Mom—She sends them to me for help.
CENTERING: The center of ourselves is God, so this means all eyes & minds are on God.
BREAST, HANDON: In this dream, the man’s hand on my breast while I see my dress is red means he hurt my heart/emotions. This incident was a trial for me, I had to forgive him, which I did—that act of charity helped bring or merit Souls coming to me. Forgiveness is a huge virtue, powerful.
DRESS, RED: Pain, emotional, over the heart.
TOUCH: Touch can be either painful or beneficent, in this dream painful; always interpreted within the context of the dream. God touching you can be painful or a blessing. ‘The hand of God has touched me’ sounds good. But ‘the hand of God is upon me’ might mean punishment. Someone touching you means they affected you, you had some sort of reaction.
DOGS, VARIOUS TYPES: Dogs are inner senses. We have the sense of seeing (vision, understanding), smelling, tasting, skin sensations & hearing—all this is inner as well as outer. Dogs are ‘our best friends’ as are our inner senses, as through them we discern secrets, such as the intentions of another – are they friend or foe? Part of our inner senses are ESP, psychic vision & discernment. These are human senses & there are also ‘Gifts of the Holy Spirit’ pertaining to this: Knowledge, Understanding, & Wisdom. These are the supernatural level but all part of our arsenal of surviving & thriving in this harsh world.
LEASH: control, restraint, guidance.
GREY, GRAY: Often pertaining to the mind, grey matter of the brain.
PISSING: Can be utter contempt or watering for good.
UNDERGROUND: Can pertain to a lower consciousness; Hell, Purgatory, depression, death. But can also in other dreams mean roots, secret life, source of physical life.
GRATE: The bars of a cell or place people are imprisoned, in this dream.
STREET: That which is open to the public: ‘Don’t put your business in the street.’
2-25-20-COMMENTS ON YOU TUBE RE PURGATORY & STIGMATA
THE CLOSEST I EVER CAME TO SEEING HELL WAS WHEN MY FIRST HUSBAND, STANLEY, DIED. HE APPEARED TO ME ON A THRONE OF FLAMES, THE THRONE WAS LIKE THAT OF LINCOLN ON THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL. THE SUFFERING WAS HORRIBLE – I FELT IT. HE CRIED OUT TO ME TO HELP HIM ‘YOU HELPED SO MANY—HELP ME!’ HE DID NOT SAY THIS IN A WAY OF HUMILITY, HE WAS DEMANDING MY HELP. IN LATER VISIONS, FOR OVER THIRTY YEARS IN PURGATORY, HE STILL HATED ME. IT TOOK 55 YEARS TO CLEANSE HIM OF THIS HATE AS WELL AS OTHER QUALITIES – THIS IS AN EVIL PERSON.
I TRIED TO HELP BUT EVERY TIME I PRAYED, I WOULD FORGET TO PRAY & STOP. THEN I FIGURED HE MUST BE IN HELL, GOD WOULD NOT WANT ME TO PRAY AS THEY ARE HOPELESS.
I WAS ONLY 19 WHEN HE DIED – HE LEFT ME PENNILESS WITH OUR CHILD TO TAKE REVENGE ON ME–A MAN RAPED ME, HE BELIEVED I ALLOWED IT. I GOT PREGNANT OUT OF IT & HAD AN ABORTION. I TOOK CARE OF STAN FOR TWO YEARS WHILE HE HAD OPERATIONS FOR CANCER, THEN HE DIED. JUST BEFORE THAT, HE CANCELLED HIS LIFE INSURANCE, WHICH RENDERED MYSELF & THE TWO YEAR OLD CHILD PENNILESS. AFTER BURYING HIM I HAD FIVE BUCKS TO MY NAME, I BECAME A DANCER THE NEXT DAY.
…..AS THE YEARS WENT BY HE WOULD APPEAR TO ME ONCE IN A WHILE, STILL FULL OF HATE, BUT THERE WERE IMPROVEMENTS. I THEN SAW HE WAS IN PURGATORY, THE BEGINNING WAS THE LOWEST PART OF PURGATORY LIKE HELL……….SINCE EVERY TIME HE APPEARED I SAW HIS CONTINUED HATE FOR ME, IT SICKENED ME–I ASKED GOD DON’T SHOW HIM TO ME AGAIN.
ABOUT A YEAR AGO I RELENTED, I TOLD GOD, IT’S OK, YOU CAN SHOW HIM TO ME AGAIN. IT HAD BEEN 55 YEARS SINCE HE DIED. AND THAT MORNING, HE WAS RELEASED FROM PURGATORY & ENTERED HEAVEN. I SAW HIM ON THE FRONT LAWN OF MY AUNT & UNCLE’S HOUSE {WHY THERE I DON’T KNOW, THEY USUALLY REPRESENT PUNISHMENT. MAYBE IT WAS SAYING ‘HE’S FREE, HE’S OUT OF THE HOUSE OF PUNISHMENT.’
FOR SOME REASON I ALSO SAW ‘TINY TEENIE’ A TINY DISABLED CAT I LOVED WHO DIED A SAD DEATH. I HAD BEEN GRIEVING OVER HIM, HE WAS ON THIS LAWN ALSO SO THAT MADE ME REJOICE.
STAN OF COURSE WAS NO LONGER HATEFUL & REVENGEFUL; HE WAS NOW FILLED WITH JOY. IT SEEMS THAT MY AGREEMENT TO SEE HIM TRIGGERED THE ASCENSION.
I HAD ALSO BEEN SAYING THE HOLY MASS FOR SOULS, BEING ORDAINED BY JESUS HIMSELF. HIS TIME IN PURGATORY WAS THE LONGEST OF ANYONE I MINISTERED TO. THE SECOND LONGEST WAS MY MOM, WHO BARELY MADE IT TO HEAVEN, BUT MADE A DEATHBED REPENTANCE GOD TOLD ME BECAUSE OF MY PRAYERS. SHE WAS IN THERE FOR 24 YEARS. SHE WAS A SERIOUS ABUSER TO ME, CAUSED WHAT IS TERMED ‘PSYCHOLOGICAL DEATH’ – I SAW HER IN A DREAM, MURDER ME BY STABBING ME TO DEATH. AS A GIRL I LAY THERE IN THE POOL OF BLOOD. MY GOD-SELF CAME OUT OF MY BODY, KNOCKED ON THE DOOR OF HER TRAILER & SAID ‘YOU KILLED MY DAUGHTER BUT I FORGIVE YOU.’
I ALSO SAW MY MOM’S REPENTANCE IN A VISION WHERE SHE WAS A BEAUTIFUL CHILD LESS THAN A YEAR OLD, SITTING IN A HIGH CHAIR HAVING BREAKFAST, WEARING A LOVELY BLUE BONNET. GOD TOLD ME ‘SHE WAS BORN AGAIN THROUGH YOUR PRAYERS.’
THE SHORTEST TIME OF ANYONE I MINISTERED TO IN PURGATORY WAS ANNA NICOLE SMITH; SHE WAS THERE FOR ONLY 64 DAYS. YES SHE WAS A DRUG ADDICT & SUPPOSEDLY DID A LOT OF SEX, BUT SHE SUFFERED, & HAD A REALLY GOOD HEART. THE MAIN THING IS THE HEART. I HAVE YOU TUBE VIDEOS ON THESE & MANY SUBJECTS & ALSO A BOOK ON MY MINISTRY:
SAY THE HOLY MASS. FIRST ASK JESUS TO ORDAIN YOU. I AM A PRIEST ORDAINED BY JESUS. I SAY MASS FOR SOULS IN MY HOUSE & FROM TIME TO TIME THEY RISE INTO HEAVEN FROM THE MASSES. WHEN I PRAY NOT AS MANY SOULS ASCEND BUT WHEN I DO THE HOLY MASS THERE IS GREAT REACTION…..SOME MONTHS WHILE SAYING THE DAILY MASS WE GET TEN SOULS LIFTED UP.
THE MEANING OF PURGATORY:
TO BE WITH GOD, TO SEE GOD FACE TO FACE, YOU MUST BECOME GOD. YOUR ENERGY/VIBRATION MUST BE THE ENERGY OF GOD. ALL THAT IS DARKNESS OR NOT CLEAR WITHIN YOU MUST BE ELIMINATED & THAT PURGATION MEANS SUFFERING—BECAUSE AS LONG AS THAT CLARITY IS MISSING YOU CANNOT CLEARLY SEE OR BE GOD.
WHEN YOU ENTER PURGATORY THERE ARE NO MORE DISTRACTIONS FROM GOD. YOU KNOW THAT THE ONLY THING THAT CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY IS THIS PERSON CALLED GOD. YOU NEED TO BECOME ONE WITH THIS GOD IN ORDER TO FIND HAPPINESS.
WHEN YOU WERE ON EARTH YOU DIDN’T THINK OR CARE ENOUGH ABOUT GOD, YOUR MIND WENT TO PEOPLE & THINGS. THESE DISTRACTED YOU FROM YOUR TRUE ETERNAL NATURE. BUT IN PURGATORY EVERYTHING IS GONE. NO DISTRACTIONS. AND WHERE IS GOD? YOU ARE NOT READY TO SEE HER BECAUSE YOU AREN’T PURE, YOU’RE FILLED WITH THE DARKNESS THAT RESULTED FROM YOUR SINS & NEGLECT OF GOD. TO GET RID OF THIS, AS YOU ARE CLEANSED, THIS IS SUFFERING.
YOU DID NOT WANT TO SUFFER ON EARTH, NOW YOU SUFFER IN PURGATORY. ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI SAID
“BURN ME HERE, LORD, NOT IN ETERNITY.”
THE SOULS ARE PITIFUL BECAUSE THEY CANNOT HELP THEMSELVES, & TIME SEEMS LIKE FOREVER, WITH NO DISTRACTIONS THERE. SOME ARE ABANDONED BY EVERYONE. WHO THINKS ABOUT SOULS? THEY ARE BUSY WITH THE THINGS OF THE WORLD & BEING WITH PEOPLE, TOO BUSY WITH WORK, MONEY, STATUS, POPULARITY, EARTHLY LOVE, GAMES, SPORTS, GOSSIP, A THOUSAND THINGS. GET AWAY FROM THESE THINGS NOW, GET AWAY FROM PEOPLE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN & MEDITATE & PRAY TO AVOID PURGATORY.
I HAVE MINISTERED TO PURGATORY ALL MY LIFE. THEY ARE PITIFUL. ASSISTING THEM IS THE GREATEST ACT OF CHARITY THERE IS.
2-25-20- COMMENTS ON DIVINE STIGMATA VIDEOS ON YOU TUBE
I HAVE A BOOK ON THE DIVINE STIGMATA, ESPECIALLY EXPLAINING THE INTERIOR DIVINE STIGMATA. A FEW SAINTS HAVE HAD THE GRACE OF THIS STIGMATA, WHICH IS INVISIBLE, IT IS CALLED “THE WOUNDS OF JESUS ON THE HEART”–I HAVE THIS GRACE, THAT’S WHY I CAN EXPLAIN IT……
PEOPLE MISTAKENLY THINK THAT THE WORST PAINS ARE OF THE FLESH. PAINS CAN GO DEEPER IN THE MIND & EMOTIONS – THAT IS WHERE THE INTERIOR STIGMATA OCCURS. YOU THINK JESUS ONLY SUFFERED IN HIS BODY? THINK OF HOW HE FELT IN THE GARDEN WHEN HE SAW WHAT WAS ABOUT TO HAPPEN, HE SWEAT BLOOD & ASKED GOD TO ‘LET THIS CUP
PASS,’ BUT THEN HE SAID, ‘NOT MY WILL, BUT THY WILL BE DONE…..
MY STIGMATA OCCURRED IN OCT 9, 1982. WHAT HAPPENED IS THAT GOD TOOK AWAY HER PRESENCE, AS WELL AS ALL THE GIFTS OF THE HOLY SPIRIT WHICH I HAD RECEIVED – EVERYTHING. I COULD NO LONGER SEE GOD OR COMMUNICATE WITH HER, WHEN I TRIED, MY MIND WAS A JUMBLE, IT DIDN’T WORK ANY MORE.
GOD PUT ME INTO THE ‘SHALLOWS & WASTES OF HUMAN SENSE’ WHICH WAS TERRIBLE PAIN–THE ABSENCE OF THE PRESENCE OF GOD, A DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL, WHERE I SAW NO LIGHT BUT HAD TO LIVE ONLY BY FAITH. THIS DEPRIVED, EMPTY, DESOLATE STATE LASTED EIGHTEEN YEARS! THAT WAS THE ‘PRICE’ OR RESULT OF INTERIOR DIVINE STIGMATA. REMEMBER WHEN JESUS SAID ON THE CROSS: ‘MY GOD, WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME?’
I MUST ALSO ADD THIS IN THE LIGHT OF ‘NONDUALITY.’ IT IS THE GOD WITHIN THAT DOES ALL THIS WORK, GIVES ALL THESE GRACES. WHEN WE PRAY, INDEED, GOD IS EVERYWHERE, INSIDE & OUTSIDE. BUT IN GENERAL, IT IS THE GOD WITHIN WHO ANSWERS OUR PRAYERS. GOD WITHIN IS THE PORTAL OR CONNECTION WITH THE INFINITE. THAT IS WHY SHE KNOWS ALL WE THINK, ALL WE DO—WITHOUT A NEED OF CONFESSION. SHE KNOWS OUR MOST INNER SELVES, DESIRES, PLANS, VIRTUES & SINS. WE CAN NEVER, EVER HIDE FROM GOD WHEN SHE IS THE DEEPEST PART OF US.
FEW MENTION THE INTERIOR STIGMATISTS. SOME OF THESE WERE ST. GERTRUDE THE GREAT, ST. TERESA OF AVILA, ST. CATHERINE OF SIENNA, ST. FAUSTINA & MYSELF. I HAVE WRITTEN A BOOK ON IT AVAILABLE ON AMAZON & LULU PRESS.
THE PAINS OF THE BODY ARE NOT THE GREATEST HEIGHT OF SUFFERING. IN THE PASSION OF OUR LORD, HIS MIND & HEART SUFFERED EVEN MORE DEEPLY, & SO, THOSE SOULS WHO RECEIVE WITH HIM, THE SAME GRACE, SUFFER AS MUCH. IT STRIKES ME THAT THIS WORLD IS CENTERED ON THE PHYSICAL & MATERIAL. LOOK HOW FOCUSSED EARTHLINGS ARE ON PHYSICAL WOUNDS, TALKING ENDLESSLY ABOUT THEM IN DETAIL, AS IF THEY ARE THE TEACHERS OF THIS GRACE. THEIR OBSERVATIONS DO NOT CENTER ON THE MOTIVATIONS, DESIRES, DECISIONS & MENTAL, EMOTIONAL STATE OF THE SOULS, THE RESULTS OF THE STIGMATA NOT PHYSICAL. AND WHY WOULD THAT BE? THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS GRACE.
WHAT DID JESUS SUFFER IN HIS MIND & HEART? IN HIS CASE {THE FEELINGS OF STIGMATISTS VARY} HIS THREE YEARS OF MIRACLE MINISTRY WERE REJECTED. INSTEAD OF LOVE HE RECEIVED SCORN, IGNOMINY, RIDICULE & HUMILIATION, REJECTION & ALL THE OTHER TORTURES HUMANS CAN GIVE. HIS PAIN WAS COMPLETE IN THAT HIS OWN DISCIPLES RAN & EVEN DENIED HIM—ONLY THE MOST FAITHFUL WERE THERE IN HIS PASSION & DEATH—HIS MOTHER, JOHN THE BELOVED, & THE HOLY WOMEN—NO OTHER DISCIPLES WERE BRAVE ENOUGH TO COMFORT HIM.
IN THE CASE OF ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI I THINK IT WAS BECAUSE OF WHAT WAS DONE TO HIM & HIS ORDER – IT WAS TAKEN AWAY FROM HIM WHEN THE RULE WAS COMPROMISED–THAT OF FOLLOWING THE COMPLETE POVERTY OF JESUS. SOMEONE INTRODUCED BOOKS (WHICH FRANCIS DIDN’T WANT) & GROWING THEIR OWN FOOD INSTEAD OF BEGGING.
FRANCIS WANTED TOTAL POVERTY–HIS GOAL FOR HIMSELF & THE BROTHERS TO BE COMPLETELY EMPTY OF EVERYTHING BUT GOD, DEPENDENT ON GOD & NOTHING ELSE. THEY WOULD HAVE TO LIVE BY FAITH, TRUST IN GOD TO PROVIDE DAILY ACCORDING TO,
“GO, SELL WHAT YOU HAVE, GIVE TO THE POOR & FOLLOW ME,” & ALSO THE WORDS THAT SAID TAKE NOTHING WITH YOU WHEN YOU GO ON YOUR MISSION – NO STAFF, NO WALLET, NO FOOD, NOTHING. THAT WAS HIS IDEAL BUT IT WAS TAKEN AWAY FROM HIM.
EVEN IN HIS OWN LIFETIME THE RULE RELAXED, HE SAW HOW HUMANS WOULD COMPROMISE IT. HE SAID THAT THE BEGINNING OF HIS ORDER THE MEN WERE GOLD, THEN THEY WOULD BECOME SILVER, THEN BRASS, THEN IRON. IT DIDN’T TAKE LONG FOR THEM TO BECOME ‘IRON.’ THEY LIVE IN HOUSES, HAVE FINANCIAL SECURITY, WEAR GOOD CLOTHES—EVERYTHING A PERSON NEEDS. PRACTICED BY THE FRANCISCANS. I IMAGINE THEY EVEN HAVE PENSIONS–SO MUCH FOR POVERTY. I AM NOT SAYING THESE ARE BAD THINGS, BUT THAT’S NOT HOW ST. FRANCIS STARTED OUT, NOT WHAT HE WANTED. BUT THE OTHER MEN WERE NOT GREAT SAINTS LIKE HE WAS.
MEANING OF THE DIVINE STIGMATA AS I UNDERSTAND IT:
THE DIVINE STIGMATA IS A DECISION BEFORE GOD TO PUT GOD FIRST ABOVE ALL THINGS, TO SACRIFICE ALL BEFORE GOD TO THE DEGREE YOU CAN STAND IT (WITHOUT PHYSICAL DEATH)—YOUR DECISION IS ‘I WILL GIVE ALL.’
GOD’S DECISION IS SHE WILL DETERMINE WHAT TO TAKE FROM YOU WHAT NOT TO TAKE. SHE COULD DO ANYTHING BUT IT IS SHE WHO DECIDES WHAT IS MOST EXPEDIENT, ECONOMICAL & APPROPRIATE FOR YOU.
WHEN I PRAYED FOR THE DIVINE STIGMATA I ASKED NOT TO GET THE PHYSICAL WOUNDS BECAUSE THEN I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO WORK. I DID NOT THINK GOD WOULD GRANT ME THIS GREAT GRACE FOR MANY YEARS – UNTIL I WAS IN MY 70’S. BUT WITHIN THREE MONTHS GOD GRANTED MY REQUEST.
WHAT SHE DID WAS THIS: I WAS LIVING IN THE MOST SUBLIME STATE OF INTIMACY WITH GOD. I COULD HEAR & FEEL GOD CONSTANTLY. I COULD CONVERSE WITH SPECIAL SOULS IN PURGATORY, I COULD PRAY & I WOULD HEAR GOD ANSWER. I HAD RECENTLY SEEN GOD FACE TO FACE TWICE, IT WAS ECSTASY. I NEEDED NO ONE & NOTHING FOR MY HAPPINESS. I WAS IN HEAVEN ON EARTH.
GOD TOOK THIS AWAY FROM ME. I HAD NIGHTMARES. I LOOKED IN THE MIRROR & MY OWN EYES LOOKED INSANE FROM THE PAIN. IT WAS MENTALLY, EMOTIONALLY UNBEARABLE. THIS LASTED THREE DAYS.
WHAT WAS HAPPENING WAS THAT MY HEART SWELLED—THE ENERGY CENTER OF THE HEART, NOT THE PHYSICAL HEART—THEN IT WOULD BREAK. THIS HAPPENED AGAIN & AGAIN FOR HOURS OF MIND-ALTERING PAIN. THEN THE INTENSE PAIN LEFT, BUT MY HEART CHAKRA (& THOSE ABOVE IT INCLUDING THE SAHASRARA) HAD ‘BURNED UP’—
I WAS WITHOUT THE PRESENCE OF GOD FOR EIGHTEEN YEARS, FROM OCT 9, 1982 TO THE YEAR 2000. IT TOOK THAT LONG TO ‘PAY’ FOR THIS GRACE OR MANIFEST IT. THERE WERE NO PHYSICAL WOUNDS, THE MIND, THE HEART CAN BE IN A STATE THAT IS INDESCRIBABLE SUFFERING. STIGMATA IS MARTYRDOM, THE DECISION TO ALLOW GOD TO TAKE FROM ONESELF WHAT IS MOST DEAR, PRECIOUS, BEAUTIFUL & JOYFUL. IMAGINE GOD TAKING FROM YOU ALL THAT YOU LOVE & WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY; IT IS TO BE LEFT IN THE STATE OF DESOLATION; IT IS PURGATORY ON EARTH.
I am in the house of a male, sharing the house. I see him vaguely; he’s very large – to the right of me. He’s given space & resources to myself & daughter to work on something.
(THIS COULD BE MY WEBMAN WITH WHOM I AM WORKING ON A NEW BOOK.)
We have a medium blonde wood table, high up like a counter, to work on. It’s about 2’X7’ & joined to this is a child’s school desk with I guess a bench for her to work on. But after a while I think what do we need this school desk for? I put it aside; my daughter can sit across from me at the regular table.
(THIS IS A BIG CLUE ABOUT NONDUALITY OR EQUALITY BETWEEN THE GOD-SELF & THE FLESH. I, THE GOD WITHIN, RECOGNIZE THE LOWER SELF TO BE EQUAL & WORKING ON THE SAME LEVEL.
THE TABLE BEING A COUNTER: COUNTERS ARE PREVALENT IN DINERS & SOME RESTAURANTS. THEY SIGNIFY NOURISHMENT. WHAT WE ARE WORKING ON IS NOURISHMENT FOR PEOPLE.)
We are working on a magazine, which represents something like an institution or company. It’s not the magazine itself that’s important, it’s what it represents. We are at the beginning of drawing up the project, we sit & work.
(THIS LATEST PROJECT IS ‘THE NEW RELIGION—FOR WOMEN ONLY.’ THE REASON IT’S A MAGAZINE IS BECAUSE IT WILL BE IN SEVERAL VOLUMES—THIS IS THE BEGINNING. WHAT IT REPRESENTS IS IMPORTANT – THE IDEAS THAT WILL EMPOWER OR NOURISH WOMEN, HELPING THEM TO STEP ASIDE FROM PATRIARCHAL IDEAS, DOGMAS & COMMANDMENTS & CREATE THEIR OWN FORM OF BELIEF.
ONE OF THE KEYS IS HOW I TREAT MY DAUGHTER, THE EQUALITY I GIVE HER. IT IS FOUND IN THE WORDS,
“WOMAN, THOU ART GOD”—
THE NAME OF THE RELIGION. I AM LIFTING UP THE FLESH & SAYING SHE IS GOD.)
After a while we take a break, perhaps we’re done for the day.
I see two meals here on the table given to us, two plates of dinner, the same, & two plates of dessert, the same. The dinners are bigger plates;
(PLATES, BIGGER: MORE DIFFICULT OR HARDER TO DEAL WITH. MORE EFFORT ON THE PLATE OR ON THE TABLE.)
on top are broiled pieces of green peppers, covering some darkish food. The two desserts are fruits with some sort of topping, maybe whipped cream, maybe white syrup.
(THIS FOOD I WILL PARTAKE IS THE FOOD THE GOD SELF WILL DEAL WITH. GREEN PEPPERS ARE A DEODORIZER WHICH KILLS BAD SMELLS IN THE BODY, WHILE UNDERNEATH IS DARKISH FOOD I CAN’T IDENTIFY.
THIS IS SAYING THE GOD-SELF WILL DEAL WITH THE DIFFICULT PART OF THE RELIGION, THE DARKISH UNIDENTIFIED FOOD ARE IDEAS THAT ARE ‘DARK’ TO THE MIND, NEED GRACE TO WORK THEM OUT. THE GREEN PEPPERS MIGHT BE TAKING OUT THE BAD STUFF OR THE ‘MYSTERY’ OF NONDUALITY—{I HAVE COMPLAINED ABOUT THE LACK OF CLARITY IN THE TRANSLATIONS FROM HINDU TO ENLIGH—THAT MUCH OF IT IS MISLEADING / CONFUSING.}
THIS TASK IS MY PART TO DEAL WITH – THE GOD SELF, WHILE THE FLESH–ALTHOUGH I AM HONORING IT AS EQUAL—CANNOT FIGURE ALL THIS OUT BY MERE LOGIC.
{NOTE HOW DANTE ALIGHIERI WAS LED THROUGH THE REALMS OF PURGATORY & HELL WITH VIRGIL—MEANING THE HUMAN MIND—BUT COULD ONLY GET TO THE HEAVENLY REALMS WITH GRACE, LED BY BEATRICE, HIS MUSE.})
I tell my daughter she can have the desserts, while,
(THE FLESH WILL RECEIVE THE RESULTS OR FRUITS OF THIS RELIGION THROUGH LOVE—THE WHITE OR MILKY SAUCE IS LOVE.)
“I’ll see what I can do with the dinners.”
I see little her sitting there with one dessert directly in front of her chest.
(THE CHEST IS THE HEART OR LOVE. SHE GIVES & RECEIVES LOVE, THAT IS HER PART.)
She seems like seven years old.
(SMALL IS HUMILITY. SHE MUST HUMBLE HERSELF TO BE WITH GOD.)
It’s a round bowl; I see strawberries & other fruits. She seems querulous about the dessert, like why should she have both of them while I partake of the regular food?
(THE LOWER SELF IS CONCERNED THAT GOD SHOULD GET AS MUCH LOVE AS SHE IS GETTING. THIS SHOWS COMPASSION OR DEVOTION.)
FRUITS: RESULTS, REWARDS. IN THIS CASE, THESE ARE DELICIOUS, SO IT IS JOY OR PLEASURE. {FRUITS OF ONE’S ACTIONS, GOOD OR BAD. ‘BY THEIR FRUIT YE SHALL KNOW THEM.’ ‘THE FRUIT DOES NOT FALL FAR FROM THE TREE.’ ‘BE FRUITFUL & MULTIPLY.’
AS AN ANTONYM, YOU HEAR OF ‘THE BAD SEED’ & SINS BEAR ‘THE FRUIT OF THEIR ACTIONS’ OR BAD RESULTS.}
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SYMBOLS OF THIS DREAM:
TABLE: What is brought to the table or what is shared, discussed, donated or presented.
COUNTER: Implies in this dream, the counter in a restaurant which is about nourishment.
SCHOOL DESK: The table of a person that is learning, the place of a child, student or devotee.
MAGAZINE: One in a series of periodicals or publications
PLATE: That which is front of one to deal with. Big plate is a lot to deal with, smaller plate less.
DARKISH FOOD: Something unknown, unseen, a mystery, must be seen & understood.
GREEN PEPPERS: A deodorizing food, which makes clean, clears up, fixes something.
MILKY SAUCE or WHIPPED CREAM: Anything white coming out of milk means love.
BUTTER: Butter is made from milk but usually means ‘the fat of the land,’ resources, money ‘which side my bread is buttered on.’
CREAM: The best of something, ‘cream of the crop,’ ‘the cream in my coffee,’ ‘taking the cream off the top.’
CHILD, YOUNG: In this dream humility. In other examples immaturity or inability, ignorance, naïveté.
FRUITS: Results. In this dream joyful, pleasurable results.
2-10-20-TRYING 4 GOOD TIME- – HE WILL HAVE TO SING A NEW SONG
DREAM X-PLANS HOW HE TRIED TO BAIT/LURE YOU TO CHASE HIM AGAIN BUT HE FAILED-HE’S NOW COMPLETELY DISCOURAGED—HIS OLD GAMES NO LONGER WORK. HE’LL HAVE TO SING A NEW SONG.
Dream interpreted for a friend
I was going out with a young man who at some point seems to be ‘in love’ with me hopelessly (like the guy who calls me from London every day.)
(AT FIRST I THOUGHT THIS WAS MY FRIEND WHO’S BEEN ASKING ME TO HANG OUT WITH HIM—WE’RE MAKING PLANS TO GO OUT ON VALENTINES, BUT THERE’S NOTHING BETWEEN US ROMANTICALLY, JUST FRIENDS.
BUT I SEE A HIDDEN MEANING IN THIS. IS IT REALLY ABOUT THE FRIEND, OR DOES IT HEARKEN TO THE EX BF WHOM I’VE NOT SEEN FOR A WHILE – THE DREAM WILL EXPLAIN I DON’T RESPOND TO HIS LOVE, PERHAPS NOT BELIEVING IN IT, NOT CATCHING ON TO HIS OVERTURES.
‘NOTHING BETWEEN US ROMANTICALLY’ IS TRUE INDEED, WE’VE NOT SEEN ONE ANOTHER FOR A WHILE.
IN THE ONLY WAY HE ‘KNOWS HOW’ OR THE ONLY AVENUE HE ‘KNOWS’ OR ‘UNDERSTANDS’ HOW TO USE HE IS USING. HE’S PLACING ‘BAIT’ ON THE INTERNET: IMAGES TO MAKE YOU JEALOUS EXCEPT YOU AREN’T JEALOUS ANY MORE, IT’S NOT WORKING.)
We were on the street talking about where we were going – we were planning to go some place for fun – when we discover Brock is having a party at his place, so we’ll go there unexpectedly, just show up, no invitation (it seems open) & surprise him.
(THIS PARTY ACTUALLY REPRESENTS TWO BARS NEXT TO EACH OTHER WHERE I GO A LOT. NO INVITATION NEEDED, MAYBE I’LL SURPRISE THE EX IF HE SEES ME THERE.
THAT’S ONE MEANING TO THE SYMBOL. BUT THE NEXT MEANING IS THE MENTAL STATE I’M IN CONCERNING ALL OF THIS: CONTEMPLATION. THAT WILL PAN OUT IN THE REST OF THE DREAM.
DREAM SYMBOLS CAN BE COMPLICATED AS THEY CAN SOMETIMES HAVE MULTIPLE MEANINGS.)
We were on our way elsewhere or doing something different, but then we divert to the Brock party.
(BROCK IS AN EX BF OF MINE. WE WERE TALKING ABOUT BUMPING INTO HIM—MY FRIEND KIP NEVER MET HIM.
BUT KIP IS A SYMBOL OF THE EX IN ANOTHER FORM—AN ALTER EGO OR ‘OTHER SELF.’ HE IS ‘INVITING’ ME THROUGH PUBLIC MEDIA, PROVOKING ME, BUT I AM NOT ‘CATCHING ON.’)
My young man, as soon as we enter, helps me with my coat. It’s the thick, heavy, white sheepskin coat I used to have. He helps me out of it & hangs it on the wall where there’s a series of coat hangers.
(THE COAT HEARKENS TO THE PAST, SO IT’S SAYING ‘WE RETURN TO THE PAST.’ THE FACT THAT ITS SHEEPSKIN SAYS THAT I’M A ‘SHEEP.’ WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? IT MEANS SUBMISSIVE, I AM SUBMITTING OR GIVING IN TO GO WHERE I MIGHT SEE THIS EX BF.
BUT IT COULD ALSO MEAN *I USED TO BE A SHEEP*–MY COAT WAS HEAVY, MY SUBMISSION WAS ‘HEAVY’ OR WEIGHED HEAVILY UPON ME – HE CONTROLLED ME IN OTHER WORDS. I DID WHAT HE WANTED – HE DID NOT DO WHAT I WANTED.
THIS TAKING OFF OF MY COAT IS REMOVING HOW I USED TO BE. I AM NO LONGER SUBMISSIVE; HE CAN NO LONGER CONTROL ME.
WHY IS ‘KIP’ WHAT REPRESENTS HIM IN THE PAST, TAKING OFF MY COAT? COULD BE THAT I’M DONE WITH THE PAST – HERE, BROCK (KIP IS BROCK IN THE PAST POSSIBLY BECAUSE KIP IS A FEW YEARS YOUNGER THAN BROCK IN REAL LIFE, LIKE BROCK USED TO BE WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER) SO IT’S LIKE THE PAST IS TAKEN OFF.)
I think ‘won’t Brock be surprised, maybe delighted, to see me.’
(I AM HOPING TO SEE THIS EX & THAT HE’LL BE HAPPY TO SEE ME…..THAT’S A THOUGHT THAT WILL PLAGUE ME AS YOU’LL SEE AS THE DREAM ENSUES.)
I look over at a place at the end of this big room & there’s a counter, & on the other side of the counter are two chefs, one of them vaguely looks like Brock. The other I cannot recognize. I peer at ‘Brock’ more & more closely. He doesn’t seem to see me. And he doesn’t look like himself, but like a distant cousin, vaguely like him, having the same type hair, mustache & beard, white skin. I say to my friend, let’s call him Kip –
“That’s not Brock.”
(THIS SAYS WE SEE BROCK, OR MAYBE HE’S THERE BUT DOESN’T SEE US. HE’S NOT ‘HIMSELF’. THIS MIGHT MEAN WHEN YOU SAY TO A PERSON ‘YOU DON’T SEEM LIKE YOURSELF’ IT MEANS SOMETHING IS WRONG, THEY DON’T SEEM LIKE THEIR USUAL NORMAL, HAPPY SELF.
BUT MY DISCERNMENT TELLS ME THIS BEHIND THE COUNTER, WHERE I SEE HIM, {NOT LOOKING TOO HAPPY, BUT HE DOESN’T SEE ME} – IS HIS POSTS ON PUBLIC MEDIA.
THE FOOD IS THE *BAIT* OR POSTS THAT ARE CALLING ME, TEMPTING, PROVOKING ME TO SEE HIM, DO SOMETHING TO CONTACT HIM – WHICH POSTS I HAVE RESISTED.
MY CONTENTION IS THAT HE SHOULD CONTACT ME IN A NORMAL, NOT VEILED WAY, WHICH HE HAS NOT DONE.)
As I walk close to the counter there is SO MUCH FOOD. They are constantly cooking, cooking, all kinds of food, which they offer FREE to the people including those who came uninvited. I even see the type of broiled fish I eat –
(THIS FOOD I USUALLY EAT IS DIRECTLY A BAIT FOR ME THAT SAYS ‘CONTACT ME’ BUT I’M NOT TAKING THE BAIT.)
many pieces on a tray – looks inviting. And there are so many foods they prepare, all laid out in trays, & the pseudo-Brock says to his chef partner,
“SO MUCH FOOD”……….I sense he’s saying they are putting out so much food for so many people, for free, & for what? It isn’t leading to anything good for them, they are just giving it away, & they aren’t even in the party participating, having fun, they’re just working, spending money, giving it to the public with no return to them. He is DISCOURAGED.
(TELLINGLY HE’S SAYING HIS GREAT LOVE HAS MET NO RETURN. THESE ARE INTERNET POSTS GOING ON FOR MONTHS—MORE & MORE POSTS, NO RETURN OF LOVE FROM ME.)
Forgot to mention, earlier when Kip & I were on the street he sat down for a meal right on the street – under a small tree, a little table in front of him. I was hungry & he handed me an entire lobster fillet, large like 10” long, white with pink edges, in a somewhat long triangular shape. I took it, was biting it, but my teeth weren’t sharp enough to bite off a piece so I could not chew it up & swallow! By the time I got to the party & saw all the food there, I was really hungry!
(MY FRIEND OFFERS ME FOOD/LOVE, WHICH SOMEHOW I CANNOT INGEST. TEETH BEING ‘NOT SHARP ENOUGH’ COULD MEAN I WASN’T MENTALLY SHARP ENOUGH TO CATCH ON – THAT HE WAS GIVING ME LOVE. (Not sure how I ‘wasn’t sharp enough though. It might be saying this is from his pov, that he felt I did not get it–*I did*–Or else it’s saying I didn’t believe he was doing the right thing – just contact me directly, little boy, not put veiled posts on public media. Oh, but then everyone would know you loved me? Oh, it has to remain a secret? Fine, then let it stay in the closet where you belong.)
TEETH REPRESENT: WISDOM OR ‘SMARTS.’ (PEARLS OF WISDOM)….OR ANGER LIKE WANTING TO BITE OR ANGER/FRUSTRATION, AS IN ‘GNASHING OF TEETH.’
YOU HAVE TO KNOW HOW TO APPLY THE MEANING TO THE CONTEXT OF THE DREAM, HERE IT SEEMS LIKE I DON’T ‘CATCH ON’ TO WHAT KIP IS GIVING ME ‘ON THE STREET’ IN PUBLIC—IN PUBLIC MEDIA.
WHY IS HE HAVING HIS MEAL UNDER A LITTLE TREE?
TREES CAN BE ‘TREE OF LIFE.’ HIS OFFER COMES FROM A PLACE OF ‘LIFE’ OR HONESTY, NOTHING FALSE OR PHONY. {Yes I know he loves me but he has to act right.}
WHY LOBSTER? LOBSTER IS A HIGH QUALITY FOOD, EXPENSIVE & NUTRITIOUS. THIS COULD MEAN AGAIN THE HONEST, MEANINGFUL LOVE. IT’S NOT LIKE BALONEY OR HOT DOGS WHICH WOULD BE CHEAP OR SMALL VALUE.
MY NOT BEING ABE TO BITE OFF & SWALLOW THE FOOD IS LIKE SAYING ‘I DON’T SWALLOW THIS’ OR ‘I DON’T ACCEPT THIS.’
ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DIAL THE TELEPHONE & TELL ME WHAT HE HAS TO SAY. THIS IS NORMAL. HE HAS TO LEARN TO BE NORMAL, SHOW SOME RESPECT.)
Then I look at myself, at my outfit. I had on the criss-cross red dress, but it wasn’t showing any breasts because there was a white sweater underneath covering my chest & something else. I decide I must go to the bathroom & take that thick underwear off as it’s hiding my body & I can’t make an impression.
(THE CRISS-CROSS RED DRESS IS PAIN. ANY REFERENCES TO CROSSES, CHECKS, EVEN STREET CORNERS {streets crossing} ALL MEAN THE CROSS OF OUR LORD—PAIN. SO I WANT TO REMOVE THIS PAIN FROM MYSELF.
UNDERNEATH IS THIS SOFT WHITE LOOSELY-KNIT SWEATER. WHITE ON THE CHEST CAN MEAN ‘THE PURE IN HEART SHALL SEE GOD,’ SO IT COULD MEAN MY GOOD INTENTIONS OR HEART. WHITE CAN ALSO HAVE TO DO WITH MARRIAGE, BUT WHAT IN THE CONTEXT OF THIS DREAM IS THE WHITE SWEATER & OTHER UNDERWEAR WHICH HIDES MY BREASTS? {breasts mean love, the milk of love, Mother’s milk.}
IT MIGHT COME DOWN TO THAT I’M IN PAIN DUE TO MY LOVE—BUT THIS IS HUMAN LOVE, WHICH IS DISORDERLY IN THE SPIRITUAL LIFE, IT BRINGS SUFFERING. I WANT TO GET RID OF THE PAIN BUT NOT THE LOVE, WHICH WOULD MEAN STOP THE HUMAN ATTACHMENT, RETAIN THE TRUE LOVE.)
The party apt is impressive. It’s two huge rooms, perfect squares – they are about 20-30’ x the same. I think how could Brock afford all this? Could I get a place like this?
The décor is exquisite. It’s warm & cozy, mostly beiges with highlights of red, like the type of designs you’d see on a hand-made quilt, sort of Early American, but more beige than anything – the ceilings are high.
(BEIGE USUALLY – TO ME – REPRESENTS CONTEMPLATION. AND ALTHOUGH THIS DOES NOT MAKE TOTAL LOGICAL SENSE, DREAMS ARE NOT ALWAYS PERFECTLY ‘LOGICAL’ IN THE SENSE WE SEE LOGIC. LOGICALLY, I CAME HERE AS IN ‘GOING OUT’ – GOING TO THE EX, TO THE CLUBS, TO HIS SPACE, LEAVING BEHIND MY OWN SPHERE.
AND YET, THE PEOPLE HERE SHOW MY STATE WHILE I AM ‘OUT’ BUT I’M NOT REALLY OUT, I AM HOME, ALONE, LOOKING AT HIS POST / BAITS, & I AM SUBDUED & QUIET, NOT EMOTINAL.
IN THAT SENSE, THEN, THE BEIGE IN BOTH ROOMS, BEAUTIFUL, IS MY NOW-CONTEMPLATIVE STATE, WHICH IS A PLACE WITHOUT HUMAN EMOTION (JUST TOUCHES HERE & THERE, LIKE RED MOSTLY & BITS OF OTHER COLORS WHICH MAKES AN INTERESTING HANDMADE STYLE QUILT) BUT PRIMARILY, I AM NOW BEYOND HUMAN THOUGHTS & FEELINGS.
IN FACT THAT IS PRECISELY WHY HE CANNOT CONTROL ME—BECAUSE IN THE STATE OF CONTEMPLATION {NONDUALITY PRECISELY, I AM MINDFUL THAT I AM GOD OR DWELLING WITHIN THE GOD-SELF} HE CANNOT TWEAK MY USUAL FRANTIC JEALOUS, ANXIOUS, WORRIED FEELINGS. I AM CONFIDENT, NOT CONFUSED.
*{this is not portrayed I the dream, but I KNOW HE & I ARE ONE – WE ALWAYS WILL BE. HE DOESN’T BELONG TO ANYONE ELSE—WE WERE MYSTICALLY MARRIED BY THE POWER OF GOD. “What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.” THIS STATE IS PERMANENT & IRREVOCABLE, IT’S BEYOND HUMAN MOODS, FEELINGS OR CHANGES, IT CANNOT BE BROKEN. IT’S HIS TURN TO CRY BECAUSE HE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND THIS & NOW HE’S ANXIOUS, WORRIED & CONFUSED WHILE I SIT HERE IN SERENITY.}*
I find the restroom & begin what is an arduous dismantling of the dress, (because it’s cramped quarters, like the bath is 4×4’) then two sets of clothing underneath, finally getting it off in this tiny cramped room. Someone is at the door & I exclaim I’ll be out in a minute.
(REST ROOM CAN MEAN MORE THAN ONE THING. IT’S PRIVACY, IT’S RELIEF. HERE I WANT TO CHANGE IN PRIVACY, TO CHANGE MY DRESS FROM WHAT IT WAS TO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. THE THREE LAYERS, THE OUTFIT SEEMS TO BE TIGHT, & THE ROOM IS TINY – UNCOMFORTABLE.
THIS I THINK REFERS TO THE FEELINGS THAT WERE AROUSED IN ME I DIDN’T LIKE – TROUBLESOME ONES, DISCOMFORTING ONES, AS A FRIEND INVITED ME OUT & TWEAKED IN ME THOSE SAME OLD FEELINGS I USED TO HAVE: WHAT IF, WHAT IF, WHAT THEN, WHAT THEN?
I WANT TO GET OUT OF THOSE FEELINGS, I WANT TO BE FREE. THE TIGHTNESS OF THE CLOTHING & THE WALLS SO CLOSE IS THE LACK OF LIBERTY / FREEDOM THESE THOUGHTS INCUR. WHAT I CHANGE INTO WILL BE MY THOUGHTS / FEELINGS IMPROVED.
SOMEONE AT THE DOOR WHERE I SAY I’LL ONLY BE A MINUTE MIGHT MEAN IT DOESN’T TAKE ME LONG TO FIX THE ATTITUDE, TO FREE MYSELF. AND IS THE PERSON AT THE DOOR MEANINGFUL? IT COULD BE THAT BROCK WANTS TO CHANGE ALSO, TO FIND RELIEF FROM HIS SORROWS. BUT THE DREAM DOES NOT SAY WHO IT IS IN ANY SYMBOLIC FORM, THIS IS BUT A GUESS, THE PERSON IS PROBABLY A TOOL TO HEAR ME SAY ‘JUST A MOMENT.’)
As I’m in there I think it’s amazing, as for all the hundred or so people at the party, I am the only one using the bathroom. I see in my mind’s eye CALM SERENE RATHER SUBDUED PEOPLE; several dressed in like grey with blue (hard to explain) columns or round, smooth cords up & down their arms & other clothing.
(THESE ARE MYSTERIOUS SYMBOLS. GREY IS THE BRAIN OR THOUGHTS, BLUE CAN BE SADNESS BUT IT’S ALSO A COLOR OF GOD – *MOST PEOPLE ASCEND INTO HEAVEN IN A BLUE LIGHT.* SINCE THE REST OF THE SYMBOLS POINT TO COOL & CALM SHALL WE TAKE THE ‘BLUE’ TO MEAN THAT—COOL & CALM MIND—RATHER THAN THE BITS & PIECES OF RED (EXTREME EMOTION & POSSIBLE SUFFERING) HERE & THERE IN THE ‘QUILT OF LIFE?’
SO WE TAKE THE MYSTERY OUT OF THIS CLOTHING, THE CORDS & COLUMNS OF SMOOTH PLASTIC-LIKE THINGIES ARE MY ENTIRE BODY IS NOW NO LONGER AGITATED BY EMOTIONS. I’M ‘COOL AS A CUCUMBER’—YES CUCUMBERS ARE SORT OF LIKE ‘PLASTIC, SMOOTH TUBES’. AND SO WE HAVE SOLVED THE MYSTERY, BLUE HERE REPRESENTS ‘COOLNESS’ RATHER THAN SADNESS.
HERE IS SOME EVIDENCE COMES TO MIND: YOU GO OUT IN THE FREEZING COLD YOUR OUTER EXTREMITIES TURN RATHER BLUE INSTEAD OF PINK OR SANGUINE, AS THE BLOOD STOPS FUELING THEM, IT GETS SLOW.)
Their behavior is unusual as usually people are raucous when they’re drinking – like in bars – but they are subdued & quiet.
(THE CALM-SERENE PEOPLE REPRESENTS MY REACTION TO HIS INTIMIDATING POSTS—THERE IS NONE. IT’S NOT LIKE THE OLD DAYS WHERE I REACTED WITH EXTREME EMOTION, NOW I’M ‘CALM, COOL & COLLECTED.’ IT’S A NEW ME IN THIS RELATIONSHIP. I AM ‘SUBDUED & QUIET’ LIKE THE PEOPLE HERE.)
As I change my outfit it becomes completely different. Now my dress turns into like an ‘hourglass’ –a wasp-waist, with a green sash, the skirt & top beige burlap, the skirt bellows out round –to my knees – the outfit becomes nothing like what it was before but it’s STRIKING.
(THE BIG CLUE IS THE HOURGLASS. HOW DO I CALM MY NERVES, FIND PEACE & FREEDOM AGAIN? WITH THE THOUGHT,
“LADY, IT’S A MATTER OF *TIME.* HE WILL BE YOURS IN TIME, WHEN IT’S TIME, WHEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE RIGHT, WHEN HE’S READY TO DO RIGHT……..
*{dream does not explain, but I will add this: This dream shows his activity, but what he’s doing isn’t the right thing. This has been the problem all along, his behavior. You cannot have a relationship with this man without respect. Respect is the glue that holds two people together – you cannot have a good relationship without respect, it is essential…….
The dream shows him trying to keep the relationship back ‘in the day’ when he was arrogant, self centered, selfish & cruel. Yes he was in love, but he used you as a whipping post, to vent his negative emotions……but this is a new day. He has to grow up.
He must understand he can’t be a baby any more with temper tantrums, revenge, provocation, intimidation, instead of respect, kindness, love, & consideration………
You know he needed time TO GROW UP—TO GET OVER HIMSELF. He has grown, he’s learned, he tried his ‘old games,’ – he even admitted they weren’t working in a post – You no longer react to baby’s temper tantrums, you let him cry & scream until he falls asleep. If you react to bad behavior, you reinforce it. He then has control, he got a rise out of you – just what he wanted. You ignore his provocations – like the posts designed to inspire jealousy – he stops doing them. He has to think of another way to get your attention.
What could that way be, pray tell? The normal, natural way that virtuous humans behave.})*……….
TO REITERATE:
“As I change my outfit it becomes completely different. Now my dress turns into like an ‘hourglass’ –a wasp-waist, with a green sash, the skirt & top beige burlap, the skirt bellows out round –to my knees – the outfit becomes nothing like what it was before but it’s STRIKING.”
(SYMBOLS: HOURGLASS IS TIME — WILL HAPPEN AT THE RIGHT TIME.
A GREEN SASH: LIFE. A SASH, IN ONE CULTURE I HAVE SEEN, THE HUSBAND PUTS A BEAUTIFUL RED SASH AROUND THE BRIDE WHILE SHE HAS HER WHITE DRESS ON. HE PURPOSELY TIES IT. THEN SHE TURNS IT AROUND SO THE ORNAMENT SHOWS IN FRONT, THE TIE IN BACK.
THE SASH IS LIKE A RING, BOND, OR THREAD, THE ‘TIES THAT BIND,’ – ‘WITH THIS RING I THEE WED’. THIS IS THE BOND, THREAD, ‘TYING THE KNOT.’
THE BURLAP? THAT I COULD NOT GUESS RIGHT AWAY, BUT NOW I GOT IT. IT’S POVERTY. WHY IS IT HERE? MYSTERIOUS BUT THIS IS WHY: POVERTY IS A VIRTUE, IT IS THE GIVING UP OF DESIRE, LIKE JESUS CHOOSING TO BE POOR, ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI & HIS BROTHERS, THESE TYPE OF POOR MONKS, WEAR BROWN ROBES MADE OF POOR, ROUGH MATERIAL. THEY HAVE GIVEN UP THEIR DESIRES FOR THE THINGS OF THE WORLD.
IT IS HUMAN DESIRE THAT MAKES US SUFFER; THE YEARNING, ANXIETY FOR THINGS WE WANT. THIS SAYS I HAVE GIVEN UP MY HUMAN DESIRE FOR THIS MAN, ‘WHAT WILL BE, WILL BE. IF IT IS GOD’S WILL, HE IS MINE.’ AND IT IS GOD’S WILL, BECAUSE SHE HOOKED US TOGETHER. I HAVE BUT TO WAIT. I CANNOT MANIPULATE THE TIME OF IT OR HIS EMOTIONS. I JUST HAVE TO WAIT & TRUST IN GOD.
THAT MEANS NO MORE ANGST FOR ME, I AM AT PEACE. HERE IN THE DREAM, I AM DANCING IN THIS DRESS OF TIME, LIFE & POVERTY. I AM FREE.
I talk to my friends how beautiful this apt looks & I ask can I get one like this?
(SPEAKING OF THIS STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS THAT I LOVE & WANT, THE STATE OF NONDUALITY OR CONTEMPLATION. NOTICE THESE TWO ROOMS AS WELL AS MY BURLAP DRESS WERE BOTH BEIGE WHICH IS CONTEMPLATION. ‘OUR LADY OF MOUNT CARMEL’ & HER ‘SCAPULAR’ OR SYMBOLIC CLOTHING ARE THIS WAY.)
………………………………………
A QUICK VISION ON THE SAME SUBJECT
I see a woman outside somewhere not far from here, walking from my right to my left, on an angle of 30 to 40 degrees from farther to closer. She’s wearing white lingerie, silky smooth. It has two lace pieces atop the breasts, kind of small, not covering the entire breasts, just like triangles, say 4” on the bottom, coming up about 2” & from these points comes thin straps.
As she walks I hear the words distinctly,
“IT IS FINISHED.”
There are no other clues so I am left with a guessing game!
MEANING: “IT IS FINISHED” IS A STATEMENT THAT IS SAID AFTER A LONG ORDEAL, THE BEST EXAMPLE IS JESUS ON HIS CROSS, SAYING IT JUST BEFORE HE DIED. WHAT WAS FINISHED?–HIS GREAT MISSION. THESE ARE WORDS OF SUCCESS—HE FINISHED THE COURSE.
I BELIEVE THIS REFERS TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE MAN IN QUESTION, BROCK. WHAT IS FINISHED? THE ORDEAL OF WINNING HIS LOVE, GETTING HIM READY TO HAVE A REAL RELATIONSHIP, A MARRIAGE OR UNION ON THIS EARTH—NOT ONLY THE MYSTICAL ASPECT BUT THE HERE & NOW ONE.
WHY THE SLIP, REPRESENTING THE BRIDAL GOWN, NOT A GOWN ITSELF? THE LINGERIE IS A SYMBOL OF BEING IN BED. THAT COULD BE SAYING,
“YOUR ABSENCE HAS WORKED. IT WILL BE SAFE TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM AGAIN. HIS ATTITUDE HAS NOW CHANGED, HE IS DIFFERENT. HE HAS RESPECT.”
WHY OUTSIDE? AT FIRST I DIDN’T GET IT, BUT NOW I THINK IT SAYS ‘THIS WILL BE OUTSIDE, NOT ONLY INDOORS, WHERE IT WAS SECRETIVE. IT ISN’T ‘IN THE STREET’ WITH PEOPLE AROUND, THAT WOULD BE FULL DISCLOSURE, BUT IT’S PERHAPS AN IN-BETWEEN STATE WHERE HE MIGHT PRESENT HIMSELF AS YOUR MAN IN SOME CIRCLES, NOT SUPPLANTING HIS OTHER RELATIONSHIP JUST YET IN THE EYES OF HIS PEERS, BUT A MAJOR STEP IN COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET ABOUT YOU.
THE GOWN HAS TWO LACE DIAMONDS ABOVE THE BREASTS—THAT IS UNMISTAKABLY MARRIAGE, WHITE LACE IS NOTHING ELSE.
THE DIAMONDS ALSO SAY ‘COMPLETION’ AS A TRIANGLE IS SOMETHING PERFECT LIKE THE PYRAMIDS, OR THE ‘HOLY TRINITY.’ BUT EVEN MORE SO, ‘DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER’ & REPRESENT THE ‘DIAMOND JUBILEE’ OF A MARRIAGE LASTING 25 YEARS. THIS IS THE FOREVER MARRIAGE, ‘TILL DEATH DO US PART.’
HE IS NOW READY FOR PUBLIC UNION WITH YOU, THE ORDEAL IS OVER. YOU HAVE NO VERIFICATION OF IT IN THE PHYSICAL, BUT THIS SAYS IT’S TRUE IN HIS HEART & MIND – BOTH OF YOU ARE READY AS THERE ARE TWO DIAMONDS ABOVE THE BREASTS, MADE OF LACE, SO ‘IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO’. HURRAH!
More on the symbols of these dreams in near future. From Rasa Von Werder, Guru
I am somewhere where there is a young male on display. He is strange, in that he’s standing there partially nude – he has no shape, overweight, & seems to be blind, but he’s some sort of celebrity & people are around honoring him.
Earlier there was myself, & I was dealing with birds. There is a large group of birds, with legs & bodies like Flamingos, but they are with almost no feathers, have only downy ones, & all the birds are the same except one in the middle. Their color is pale yellow, like baby chicks, & their beaks are different from flamingos, they are more like chicken beaks.
(THIS ALLUDES TO JOHN, WHO IS TALL & THIN, LONG THIN LEGS LIKE THIS BIRD. BUT HE IS A BABY IN MATURITY, YOUNG & DUMB.)
The bird in the middle is active, while the rest do nothing, are just milling about. Something is given to the middle bird, a lump of what looks like ricotta cheese, & the bird pecks at it, eats it. It is different than the crowd of other birds by its activity.
(THIS SHOWS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THIS PARTICULAR PERSON IN YOUR LIFE & THE OTHERS. THEY ARE ALL MALES WITH WHOM YOU CONNECTED. THEY WERE ALL IMMATURE, BUT ONLY ONE OF THEM WAS ACTIVE, THE REST DID NOTHING. THIS SHOWS THAT HIS ACTIONS CALLED YOUR LOVE TO HIM—HE RECEIVED IT, IT MADE HIM GROW.
THE IMMATURITY OR YOUTH IS SHOWN IN THE LACK OF FEATHERS—COVERED IN BABY DOWN.
RICOTTA CHEESE IS MILK, SO IT WOULD BE INGESTING LOVE.
THIS INDICATES JOHN GREW BY BEING NOURISHED WITH LOVE.)
Now when I approach this unusual male & speak to him I tell him, quietly,
“I AM THE ONE CONCERNING THE BIRDS.”
It was like he didn’t know who I was, but we had something to do with those birds, & I ask him,
“ARE YOU A SAVANT?”
He answers yes.
(THIS IS ABOUT GROWTH IN LOVE.
WHEN HE STARTED HE HAD ‘PUPPY FAT.’ HE WAS BLIND TO THE TRUTH, HE COULD NOT SEE IT.
BUT IN THE NEXT SCENE, HE’S LOST HIS PUPPY FAT.
HE WAS A ‘CELEBRITY’ OF SORTS FROM THE TIME YOU MET HIM IN THAT FEMALES WERE ATTRACTED TO HIM & STILL ARE.
THE WEIGHT LOST IS THE UNNECESSARY FAT – THAT WOULD BE EGO, ATTACHMENT TO THE WORLD, ITS THOUGHTS & FEELINGS, HOLDING DOWN THE SOUL. THIS EGO BLINDS US TO THE THINGS OF THE SPIRIT, ONCE GONE WE CAN SEE.
IT WILL BE SHOWN THAT THE OTHER FEMALES HAVE RECEDED FROM HIS HEART & YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE THERE, & THEY KNOW THIS IS HOW IT SHOULD BE.)
The scene changes: We are now at another place where the ‘savant’ is honored. He’s reclining on some sort of ‘display’ area surrounded by admiring women of all colors hair, with a couple guys in front. I am one of the admiring women, but closer to him than the others.
He has now completely changed. He is tall & thin & later I see his skin is medium dark brown. I am near his middle like chest & abdomen, which now have not an ounce of fat, his stomach is completely flat & buff.
And it seems I am attracted to this person, like infatuated or in love, & I sort of bend my face to touch his chest-abdomen area, & at the same time, all the other women recede several feet away {before we were all piled up around him}, as if they agree that I should be the one close to him, & they more distant.
I especially take note of their hair. I see blondes, a few of them, & other colors, their hair thick & well groomed, they’re all smiling.
One of the men in front says,
“IS HE REALLY BEAUTIFUL?”
I then move forward & look back at his face. It’s brown & he has a jaw that is completely round in front, like a doll I have seen or a certain kind of ape. Objectively, he is not beautiful, but I say to the man,
“IF YOU LOVE HIM, HE’S BEAUTIFUL.”
(THIS IS A TELLING SYMBOL. IT HINTS THAT HIS GROWTH TOOK PLACE BECAUSE OF THE LOVE YOU GAVE HIM – IT NOURISHED HIM, IT MADE HIM GROW.
THE BEGINNING IDENTIFIES HIM AS A SAVANT, WHICH MUST MEAN HE HAD THE POTENTIAL, & HIS POTENTIAL WAS REACHED.
HIS FACE BEING DARK SKINNED: THIS IS HIS LOWER SELF. HE WAS A ‘SAVANT’ OR ELEVATED IN HIS SOUL, BUT NOW THIS ABILITY HAS REACHED HIS LOWER SELF, LIKE THE STATEMENT ‘NO LONGER I LIVE BUT CHRIST IN ME {words of St. Paul}.’ THIS IS WHEN OUR FLESH IS CORRECTED; IT TAKES A BACK SEAT TO THE GOD-SELF. THIS IS ENLIGHTENMENT. SOMETHING BIG HAS HAPPENED TO HIM.)
I see then about 8-10’ away on a bureau are flowers & I wonder if they’re garlands. {I didn’t want to get up to leave his side to get the garland.} I get the idea of putting a garland around his neck, like he’s a GURU, & I know I am, & then the two of us can preside over devotees, serve them together. The flowers are big, bright yellow blossoms with stamens inside.
(GARLANDS ARE THE SAME AS A CROWN ON THE HEAD, OR THE LAUREL LEAF CROWNS ON THE HEADS OF ANCIENT OLYMPIC WINNERS. THEY ARE VICTORY, HAVING WON A RACE, HAVING OVERCOME A HURDLE, SUCCESS. HE HAS OVERCOME HIS LOWER SELF, HE HAS LEARNED, HE HAS RISEN UP.)
This thought gives me a lot of satisfaction, like it brightens up my thought of the future like,
“WE CAN DO THIS TOGETHER, HELP PEOPLE, & HAVE SO MUCH PURPOSE & IT WILL BE FUN.”
The thing is, this person is a savant & has great abilities, & I already know who I am & what I have. I didn’t see it in the beginning, but I see now we could have purpose together, for God. (In the beginning we were not together, I was one of the many admirers.)
(THIS NOT BEING TOGETHER– YOU WERE TOGETHER IN THE FLESH, BUT HE DID NOT MAKE A DECISION TO HAVE YOU FOR A PARTNER. HE WAS PLAYING GAMES & FOOLING AROUND WITH MANY WOMEN.
THIS IS ABOUT JOHN CHANGING FROM WHO HE WAS TO A MUCH SUPERIOR PERSON. HE HAS GROWN TREMENDOUSLY FROM THE LOVE GIVEN; HE IS NOW ABLE TO WORK FOR GOD, IN PARTNERSHIP WITH YOU.)
……………………………………………………………….
SYMBOLS that come up in this dream of 2-20-20 or relate to it:
FLAMINGO (THE BIRD): Symbolizes a male who is tall & thin & has the long, thin legs of the flamingo {in this dream}. Its pink color can symbolize ‘in the pink’—all set with happiness–or something to do with sex {the pink of the vagina.} Other applications can be its beak being large & strong, or it dwells in warm climates.
CHICKEN-CHICKEN BEAK: This is a definite clue to being young, as in one movie I saw, ‘The Roman Spring of Mrs. ?’ females who are looking for young males who are called ‘chickens’ & the women who want them are called ‘chicken hawks’—this is disparaging of course, but females, usually young are also called ‘chicks.’
DOWN, covered in down, no feathers: Refers to being young, immature, a baby or fledgling. ‘Flying’ is an ability a baby doesn’t have, just as if walking or running is not possible for a human infant. Whereas:
FEATHERS show power the ability to fly, to get some place. Can hearken to angels or celestial beings.
WINGS: Ability to rise above situations, the power to get some place, can refer to people or celestial beings, notably angels or someone who represents ‘an angel’ in your life.
ANGEL: Someone who’s ‘an angel’ in your life. I was once stranded in Gary, Indiana, with no buses back to the house I was staying. I sat at the counter of a coffee shop praying for God to send an angel. An older Russian man sat next to me, we talked, I told him my dilemma. He offered to drive me there & when he did, he didn’t try anything. I was shocked as usually men harassed me & I asked God why he didn’t. And God said, ‘Didn’t you pray for an angel? He was it.’
RICOTTA CHEESE: Anything made of milk such as cheese, yogurt, cottage cheese, refers to ‘Mother’s milk’ or love, nutrition.
BIRDS: Refers to creatures who can or cannot fly or get somewhere. In the dream here one cannot do so as he has not grown feathers, but being nourished with love, he matures & grows.
SAVANT: Someone extremely intelligent with a potential.
FAT-PUPPY FAT: This dream portrays someone who is immature & weighed down by ego or connection, attachment to the lower things of life rather than the eternal truths or higher realities, or even lacking the ability to see logical facts due to lack of experience.
BLIND: Not being able to ‘see’ with the mind or understanding, not aware.
CELEBRITY: Someone who is desired by others, stands out like a star, is ‘celebrated’ or discussed by others.
RECEDE or COME CLOSER: In this dream, some recede from this person while one remains close in affection, near his chest & abdomen. That which recedes fades away, becomes less important, becomes ‘distant’ or does not touch one’s emotions, while the one close to the chest & abdomen becomes dear in one’s heart & emotions. Note also the stomach, ‘the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.’ This portrays the subject’s emotions.
CHEST & STOMACH: In this dream it’s about love. One person becomes dearer, as closer to chest (heart & stomach) while others go farther away. It’s in the heart of the man this is happening, he is receiving the love of one particular woman as he grows in maturity & sees the true nature of this love, which is lacking in the other women he ‘plays’ with–& with his new understanding the other women ‘recede.’
In other dreams, we see that anything ON THE CHEST such as a vest, a shirt, a top, anything in the area of chest {& sometimes stomach when it’s close to the heart} refer to HEART & LOVE & all that this may signify.
THIN, BUFF, HARD BODIED, HAVING LOST ONE’S FAT: In this dream the fat was the ‘puppy fat’ or ‘baby fat’ where the young person is unable to see truth for various reasons, but having lost this unnecessary weight, they then become thin, & a guru in partnership with a mature guru. {Guru is dispeller of darkness or teacher of God, so this is a giant advancement.}
DARK SKINNED: The flesh, the ‘lower self’ rather than the soul. In this dream it strongly alludes to our human nature being descended from an ape, & it says his nature has improved.
GARLAND: The same as crown – being special or victorious. The yellow in the flowers of the garland refer to sunshine, joy, happiness as on a sunny day.
YELLOW FLOWERS: Yellow is like the rays of sunshine in this dream; joyful, happy.
CROWN: same as garland or laurel leaf crown—victory, success.
LAUREL LEAF CROWN: A sign of victory, success, accomplishment fulfilled.
BEAUTIFUL: In dreams, as in this one, beauty is referred to as an inner state rather than a cosmetic one, & also ‘beauty is in the eyes of the beholder,’ which means when a person has love, all of nature is beautiful, all life is beautiful.
PARTNERS, GURU PARTNERS: In this dream: We can both be a Light in the darkness helping others, bearers of the Truth. Here I am sitting on the left side of the young man, our bodies touching, as if ‘joined at the hip’. This would be ONENESS as in Mystical Marriage, the Sacrament where two become one, ordained so by God. “Guru partners” is a significant relationship, something that does not happen often.
2-2-20-PEEPING TOM & ICY SLUDGE 4’ THICK-Refers to male seeking my secrets & forthcoming grace
It’s the middle of the night, dark. My daughter & I decided to lie down & rest together on my front porch, not sure why – maybe we just wanted to enjoy the fresh air, the beauty of the night. (Our view is lovely, across the road is a sloping hill with large trees, a creek running through the middle.) As I said, it’s night but not pitch dark, sort of in between moon, dim, but we can see.
(THIS BEING ABLE TO SEE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT HINTS AT PSYCHIC OR SPIRITUAL VISION. THE NIGHT IS A TIME OF DARKNESS / MYSTERY, BUT IF YOU CAN SEE WITHIN IT THEN YOUR VISION / UNDERSTANDING IS STRONG.
‘DAUGHTER & I’ IS FLESH & I. I AM 99% OF THE TIME THE DREAMER, IT’S THE GOD-ME. MY DAUGHTER IN MOST OF MY DREAMS IS THE LOWER SELF. LATELY I’VE SEE HER CLOSE TO ME A LOT BECAUSE WE’VE BEEN WORKING ON THE UNION WITH ME OR THE ‘NONDUALITY.’)
Then to our surprise a truck stops across the road right in front of our house, an old truck & the back of it (with no railing or gate, open) is loaded with what looks like Cole slaw & maybe other veggies, – there’s a light glowing around the veggies.
(STUMPED. WHAT WOULD VEGGIES REPRESENT, ESPECIALLY COLE SLAW, MOTHER GOD?
SHE: A TRUCKLOAD OF HEALTH FOODS—THEY ARE RAW. YOU ESPECIALLY LIKE COLE SLAW & KNOW IT’S HEALTHY, MOM ALWAYS SAYS THE CLICHÉ ‘EAT YOUR VEGGIES.’
BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN IN THE CONTEXT OF THIS DREAM?
WHAT A MAN CARRIES – HIS LOAD, IS GOOD OR BAD. THIS MAN CARRIES GOOD. THE LIGHT AROUND THE VEGGIES CONFIRMS IT’S GOOD. THIS IS PROBABLY SPIRITUAL IDEAS, THOUGHTS, FEELINGS THIS MAN CARRIES.)
The man gets out of the struck, comes up to our porch where it looks like he doesn’t see us lying there. We don’t know who he is, why he’s here, we don’t feel totally safe. He’s a man we don’t know, what if he attacks us?
(THIS MAN IS EXTREMELY CURIOUS ABOUT YOU. IT MIGHT BE THE NONDUALITY TEACHER YOU CONTACTED WHO DISMISSED YOU, BUT NEVERTHELESS, HE’S THINKING ABOUT YOU & HE WANTS TO KNOW YOUR SECRETS.
LOWER SELF TOGETHER ENJOYING THE NIGHT IT REPRESENTS MY NONDUALITY OR UNION WITH GOD—WHICH HE DOES NOT TAKE NOTE OF.
LOOKING IN SOMEONE’S KEYHOLE WOULD BE SPYING ON THEM, WANTING TO KNOW SOMETHING THEY DON’T KNOW, TRYING TO FIND OUT.)
But all he does is bend down & look at the keyhole of our front door – perhaps both doors. I see the keyhole/lock in my mind’s eye – it’s golden, is it the old-fashioned kind, you know, when you had those huge old-time keys? (this is vague, however, I might not take it too seriously.)
He then notices us, turns to us & says,
(IT SAYS AT FIRST HE DID NOT SEE US LYING ON THE PORCH. SINCE IT IS MY GOD-SELF & FLESH, IT MEANS HE DOESN’T SEE—PERHAPS WHAT HE IS SEEKING—AM I REALLY IN GOD UNION OR NOT?
AFTER LOOKING AT THE KEYHOLE HE SEES US, WHICH MEANS HE BELIEVES I AM IN UNION.
HE COULD BE LOOKING WITH HIS PSYCHIC SENSE, MOST PROBABLY, AS LOOKING AT SOMEONE’S NAME IN GOOGLE WON’T PROVE ANYTHING ABOUT THAT.)
“My name’s JUDD.”
(NOW HE REVEALS WHO HE IS TO US. WE DID NOT ASK, BUT MY PSYCHIC SENSE IS ALSO AWAKE. THE NAME SOUNDS LIKE THE GUY WHO I WROTE.)
His name being Judd, the way he sounds, he seems like a hillbilly. That’s all he says, leaves, heads for the truck & takes off. As my parting word to him, greatly relieved that he’s leaving, I say,
(THE RELIEF IS GETTING RID OF HIM FROM MY MIND, BECAUSE HE HURT ME. IT SHOWS UP IN MY DISCOMFORT OF HIS BEING HERE, THAT HE MIGHT ATTACK US – NOT FEELING SAFE. YES, HE DID MAKE ME SUFFER A DAY OR TWO BY THE CURT NOTE OF REJECTION HE SENT ME—NOW I’M RID OF THE PAIN & FEEL RELIEF.)
“Good luck with your veggies.”
(WISHING HIM GOOD LUCK, INDEED, BUT BEING GLAD I’M NOT GOING TO WORK WITH HIM. HIS VEGGIES AS I SAID BEFORE ARE HIS THOUGHTS, IDEAS & FEELINGS. IT’S HIS WORK, AS HE’S A TEACHER. SO I’M WISHING HIM LUCK WITH HIS TEACHING, BUT GLAD HE’S GOING.
WHY IS HE A HILLBILLY?
TO ME, THEY REPRESENT IGNORANCE. I GUESS I SEE HIM THAT WAY. NOT COMPLETELY IGNORANT, GRANTED, IGNORANT IN A CERTAIN WAY.)
……………………………………………………..
Dream 2: Trouble with my old Caddy
I decide to go out to my car – it’s the big old Caddy I used to have – a black DeVille.
It’s parked in the usual spot, I pull out but hug the driveway (it’s night btw) to back up back into the driveway. It seems I was thinking of going to town, but I feel drunk & not capable of driving.
(UNABLE TO GET TO WHERE I GO – MY MIND IS MESSED UP AS I ATTEMPT DEEP MEDITATION. DRUNK CAN MEAN ‘DISABLED,’ & THIS OLD CAR FELT LIKE A BOAT TO ME – I HATED DRIVING IT, DID NOT FEEL IN CONTROL. SMALL CARS SUIT ME FINE.)
The two windows to the left, I want to clean them, & so I allow each one to go down by the automatic & then back up. I’m very careful to make sure the windows go back up – as sometimes one forgets, rain & snow get in.
So they are up, but both windows have a darkish grey film over them & I can’t see so this is troubling. I want to back up back into my driveway, somehow I do, through really thick slush – the slush almost a foot thick. I go back all the way & back toward the front, get a really nice spot, amazed at how easily I controlled the car over this icy slush.
(OLD CAR THE WINDOWS PICK UP THIS DARK FOG TO MY LEFT I CAN’T SEE OUT OF.
THIS IS MY MEDITATION LAST NIGHT – I HAD TROUBLE RISING UP SPIRITUALLY. THAT MEANS ‘COULDN’T SEE.’
IT COULD BE THE TV WATCHING –IT THREW ME OFF MY PERFECT ROAD, MY LOWER EMOTIONS (PAIN) GOT ME ALSO (FROM A LETTER I GOT), IT TARNISHED MY VISION. SEEKING SOLACE, I WATCHED A LOT OF TV FOR ENTERTAINMENT & THAT CLUTTERED MY MIND. I HAD TO WORK HOURS TO GET PAST THE PAIN & THE CLUTTER.)
Then a lady comes out to help me. There’s a large plastic bin out here, it must be moved – it’s heavy. She takes one end, I the other, we move it. I don’t even know who she is but she came out of my house.
(USUALLY A KIND LADY WHO HELPS ME IN ANY WAY IS MY MOTHER GOD, THE ULTIMATE, UNIVERSAL POWER OVER ALL. THIS SAYS SHE’S WITH ME ‘FROM MY HOUSE.’)
I look behind me at the yard beyond the fence the PATH through it winding down to the creek. It seems to be lower than we’re standing & to my amazement it has slush that is four feet deep! The snow is melting & moving toward the bottom of the yard, but wow, this is a lot of water!
(THE SLUSH HERE IS A GOOD SIGN. WATER HERE IS THE GRACE OF GOD. BUT YOU MUST SEE IN THE CONTEXT OF THE DREAM IF THE WATER IS POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE, AS WATER CAN BE DESTRUCTIVE.
SNOW, ICE, SLUSH IS USUALLY FROZEN OR DELAYED GRACE. RIGHT NOW MY GRACE IS ALMOST ‘FROZEN UP’ TO SOME DEGREE SO I’M NOT QUITE ACCESSING IT. I’M GETTING BY IN SPITE OF THINGS, AS TO THE WAY I MANAGE THE CAR.
WHY IS WATER THE GRACE OF GOD? YOU CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT IT, IT GIVES LIFE TO EVERYTHING ON EARTH, LIKE THE AIR YOU CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT, LIKE THE SOIL. IT’S AN ABSOLUTE NECESSITY.
THE GRACE OF GOD MAKES LIFE EITHER PALATABLE & PROSPEROUS OR IN ITS ABSENCE LIFE IS EMPTY, WITHOUT MEANING, & DEVOLVES INTO HELL. LOTS OF WATER IS LOVE & HAPPINESS WITHIN ONE’S MIND/SOUL.)
THIS DREAM IS SHOWING THERE’S LOTS OF GRACE COMING TO ME, NOT HERE YET BUT WILL BE SOON. THE THING ABOUT GRACE IS WHY DOES IT DIMINISH OR INCREASE? THE GOD WITHIN DOESN’T CHANGE, BUT OUR ACCESS TO GOD, OUR ‘COMPREHENSION’ OF HER, DOES.
IT’S OUR PRAYERS, MANTRAS, CHARITY, THE WAY WE LIVE EACH DAY. HOW MUCH ATTENTION ARE WE PAYING TO GOD?
SINCE I AM NOW IN NONDUALITY I KNOW THAT THE GOD WITHIN ME IS WHO DOES EVERYTHING. IT SEEMS STRANGE FOR ME TO CALL ON THE GOD OUTSIDE, THE GOD OF FORM (IMAGE OR PHYSICAL FORM) – AS I KNOW THE ‘GOD OF FORM’ IS NOT USUALLY THE ONE THAT ANSWERS, EVEN IN THE OLD DAYS, IT WAS THE GOD WITHIN WHO ANSWERED MY PRAYERS, TAKING THE FORM OF GOD OUTSIDE—JESUS, MARY OR THE SAINTS.
I’M NOT SAYING THAT POWERS OF GOD OUTSIDE US DO NOT EXIST – THEY DO. BUT THE HISTORICAL JESUS DOES NOT USUALLY ANSWER ONE PERSONALLY. IT CAN HAPPEN BUT IT’S USUALLY THE GOD WITHIN TAKING THE FORM OF JESUS OR MARY OR THE SAINTS. AND YOU KNOW THIS WHEN YOU ARE IN ‘NONDUALITY’.)
2-4-20-NO REVENGE-Hateful words & thoughts are wrong
Rasa interprets her dream. To see her first book on interpretation see ‘Theater of the Mind’ on Lulu & Amazon Books.
I was some place where we worked, lots of people around, lots of food. I vaguely recall eating, doing happy things, & then the day was over & it was time for me to go home.
(GO HOME IS ENTER BACK INTO MY HEART, MY SPIRITUAL CONSCIOUSNESS. ‘HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS.’ IT MEANS WHEN I SETTLE DOWN AFTER THE DAY’S WORK & MEDITATE.)
Someone – not sure who – a lady I think, put two wonderful cakes on the table. They had the kind of icing on the outside that is like a ‘glaze’ or glassy, not fluffy, they are both mint green & I know the inside if great. The lady says to me,
“This is for you because you worked for free.”
(THIS LADY IS MOTHER GOD, THE ONE INSIDE ME OR THE ONE EVERYWHERE, THEY CONNECT. SHE’S REWARDING ME FOR MY WORK TO HELP SOULS. I DIDN’T EXPECT ANYTHING, BECAUSE THE HAPPINESS I GET IS ENOUGH, BUT SHE IS.)
I was delighted but did not pack up the cakes right away, they sat on the table. A woman who I sense belongs to the Mafia then came by & picked up one of the cakes to take to her family sitting in a large lower room. I stopped her & politely said,
(THIS PERSON BEING ‘IN THE MAFIA’ IS NOT A PERFECT SOUL. MAFIA IS DEMONS. BUT HE IS AN ADVAITA TEACHER, FUNNY HOW YOU CAN BE IMPERFECT YET YOU CAN REPRESENT THE HIGHEST TRUTHS……………..IT SHOWS THIS PERSON TAKING THIS GREAT GRACE OF MINE TO A LOWER ROOM TO HIS ‘FAMILY.’ THAT MEANS PEOPLE ON THE LOWER PLANE—APPARENTLY HIS FOLLOWERS OR STUDENTS…………………
{MY DREAM A FEW DAYS AGO WHERE I WAS IN B’KLYN WITH A GUY I CALLED ‘ITALO’ IS THIS SAME PERSON. I SENSED HE WAS NOT 100% OK BUT I FORGAVE HIM, ACCEPTED HIM, LIKED HIM. IN THAT DREAM PEOPLE WERE SAYING THIS GUY HAD DONE THINGS THAT WERE WRONG, BUT I DISMISSED IT. HE WAS A POLITICIAN & THEY ALWAYS GET RUMORS, I SAID, THESE ARE ‘SMALL THINGS.’}
I SURMISE THIS IS THE ADVAITA TEACHER WHO WAS SO CURT TO ME. I WROTE HIM A LETTER ASKING TO COLLABORATE—HE ANSWERED ‘NOT INTERESTED.’ IT WAS THE CURTNESS / COLDNESS THAT HURT. HE COULD HAVE SAID IT IN A NICE WAY BUT HE DIDN’T WANT TO. THIS DREAM EXPLAINS HE WAS JEALOUS / ANGRY.
WHY IS HE FEMALE? PROBABLY BECAUSE HE’S A FOREVER-DISCIPLE, BEEN SURRENDERING TO GOD ALL HIS LIFE, BUT NOT MADE THE GRADE COMPLETELY.
THIS EXPLAINS WHY HE WAS SO CURT TO ME: HE WAS JEALOUS OF THE FAVORS GOD HAD GRANTED ME. I SENT HIM LINKS TO MY BOOKS. ONE WAS THE BEATIFIC VISION. I MEAN HOW MANY PEOPLE SEE GOD FACE TO FACE?–ONE IN MILLIONS. THAT IS A REWARD GOD GAVE ME FOR ‘WORKING FOR FREE’ FOR THE KINGDOM.
I ALSO SENT HIM MY BOOK LINKS ON YOGA & CHRISTIANITY, THE ONE ON MYSELF & MY DEVOTEES & THE DIVINE STIGMATA.
AS HE ‘TAKES MY CAKE’ HE’S COVETING OR WISHING FOR MY REWARD –THE GRACE OF SEEING GOD FACE TO FACE.
BUT I SAY TO HIM,
“NO, THIS IS MY REWARD, YOU CANNOT HAVE IT.”
HIS ANGER IS THE LOWER SELF BEING JEALOUS.
THE FACT THAT HE’S TAKING THIS REWARD TO HIS FAMILY IN THE BIG ROOM BELOW – HE WANTS SOMETHING LIKE THIS TO PRESENT TO HIS FANS, FRIENDS, BELIEVERS. IT WOULD BE A GREAT FEATHER IN HIS CAP AS A TEACHER OF SPIRITUALITY.
THE WAY HE REACTS – SMASHING THE CAKE TO THE WALL – IS GREAT ANGER. HE WANTED TO HURT ME, & HE DID. I WAS IN PAIN FOR TWO DAYS BEFORE IT WORE OFF.
THIS DREAM IS A LESSON AGAINST REVENGE. SOMEONE, SOMETHING HURTS YOU—DO NOT TAKE REVENGE. DON’T GIVE TIT FOR TAT THIS SAYS, IT’S MORALLY WRONG. IT WILL DIMINISH YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD, IT WILL SHRINK DOWN YOUR BLISS, PLEASURE, IN THE COMPREHENSION OF GOD, IN YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS.)
“Sorry, but those are my cakes given me because I worked for free.”
(WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO ‘WORK FOR FREE?’ IT MEANS YOU DID / DO GOD’S WORK NOT FOR ANY ULTERIOR MOTIVE BUT FROM UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. YOU JUST WANT TO BE WITH GOD, PLEASE GOD – YOU DON’T DO IT FOR THE GIFTS GOD GIVES. {The proof of this is when people are willing to suffer ‘dark nights of the soul’ & martyrdom, which is the absence of bliss & joy, it’s pain & sorrow, but the soul is ready to accept this when it’s the Will of God.} THIS KIND OF LOVE MERITS THE HIGHEST REWARDS. BUT FEW GIVE THIS. MOST PEOPLE ARE LOOKING TO GOD LIKE SANTA CLAUS, THE GIVER OF GIFTS.)
She was standing with a wall to her right, & she was so angry she smashed the cake against the wall, but it didn’t break, just got a little broken, I caught it, retrieved it & took it back to my table.
(THIS JEALOUS PERSON WOULD HAVE ‘SMASHED’ OR DESTROYED MY RELATIONSHIP / BLISS / REWARDS WITH GOD IF SHE / HE COULD – BUT THEY COULD NOT, I GOT IT BACK, WITH JUST A LITTLE HURT TO MY FEELINGS.)
I was planning to pack my cakes up when out of the blue this heavy guy comes toward me to pick a fight. I decide to teach him a lesson.
I punch him really hard, he falls down. I grab him by the balls & pull them so hard they stretch a foot – he doesn’t stop. I do some more damage to him, then I let him go. But while I was fighting some unknown person took the second cake from the table & absconded. I can’t blame them as they didn’t know the cakes were mine.
(THIS MAN MUST BE THE MAN ON THE INTERNET WHO INSULTED ME. I INSULTED HIM BACK. HE WANTED TO HURT ME, I HURT HIM BACK. I DIDN’T CONCEIVE OF IT AS A SIN—HE STARTED IT, HE DESERVED IT.
BUT GOD IS TELLING ME SOMETHING DIFFERENT. WHILE I WAS FIGHTING, THE SECOND CAKE OR ANOTHER REWARD MOTHER GOD GAVE ME WAS STOLEN. I LOST SOME OF MY SPIRITUAL BLISS / HAPPINESS.
THIS MIGHT HAVE SHOWN AS I WAS MEDITATING AT THE END OF THE DAY, LESS SATISFACTION AS MY STATE WAS TARNISHED.)
I then quickly pack up the first cake with the slight damage, & I take that soft kind of bandage from a roll you roll over say a bad elbow, I roll it round & round until it’s cushioned, put it into my bag, sort of like a round purse, which is a suitcase of sorts.
(WHAT AM I BANDAGING? MY HURT FEELINGS OF COURSE. I AM PROTECTING MY GIFT OF GOD ALSO, DON’T WANT TO LOSE MY COMPOSURE, FALL INTO THE LOWER SELF IN PAIN.)
In the bag I have a few other things I put into a paper bag, not much, like maybe a bottle of champagne, other jars.
(WHAT IS THE PAPER BAD FILLED WITH CHAMPAGNE & OTHER JARS?
PAPER WOULD BE MY PRECIOUS BOOKS, ESPECIALLY THE ONE ON BEATIFIC VISION, MY GREATEST GRACE—CHAMPAGNE BEING A SIGN OF VICTORY. I DON’T WANT PEOPLE STEALING MY BLISS ANY MORE.)
I’m eager to get out of here as I don’t want any more trouble with what I have left. It seems people interfere as soon as you get ahead, I just want to get out.
(THIS DREAM HAS A MORAL: DON’T TAKE REVENGE. LOOK HOW THE REVENGE OF THE FIRST PERSON HURT YOU. {I had no idea this person was jealous & sent me the curt note out of hate & anger. I had researched him, watched many hours of his work, wrote him a respectful, detailed letter, & all I got was ‘not interested.’ Another friend said ‘ouch.’ But this dream explains why the curt note, which surprises me: jealousy! I guess, then, I should be flattered.}
WHERE AM I PACKING TO GO?—HOME, BACK TO MY HEART, BACK TO GOD. TAKE WHAT I HAVE OF MY BLISS & GET OUT OF DANGER—
IT SEEMS THAT AS SOON AS WE HAVE REPARTEE WITH PEOPLE, RECEIVING THEIR BLOWS, EXCHANGING OUR OWN HUMAN FEELINGS, THE TROUBLE STARTS. NO WONDER THE SAINTS ISOLATE THEMSELVES.)
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