Jesus brings Grace of Sufferings

Jesus brings me sufferings from his Grace

He takes me to a place that is a private residence, out in the country. Is it Autumn? – as all the leaves are mostly golden colors, on the trees & all over the ground. It’s peaceful. All we do is sit in his white pickup truck, in the driveway. The place is also surrounded by woods, golden trees everywhere on this property, but the rest of the woods are a quiet green.

12-26-23 “Husband Visit” – Nick appears in the form of my good husband Richard.

At one point I get out & walk around. I look at the house & see a man in it, who does not come out. He’s wearing a white top. I just relax & lie down in the leaves on my back & rest, then I return to the truck.

At some point rich disappears & I find him in a sort of ‘room’ inside the truck! Behind a large tire or something, looking sort of not sure how to describe it. Not sheepish, just wanted to be alone for a minute. I ask him what he was doing & it’s nothing, just like hands in his pocket.

And again we just sit next to each other. Funny thing is he’[s to my right, yet he’s the driver who brought the vehicle here,.

Then I’m outside the truck & the man in the house comes over. He’s short & thin, very humble & reminds me of this Podcaster called Paul Wallis. I say to him,

“Thank you for allowing us to park here & enjoy ourselves.”

He’s shy with me & says something nice & then kisses my hand. This is done with great humility & respect.

Then start THE BEARS.

First black ones appear – a big & small one with white markings by their throats – in front of us. At first we start to run but inner voice says be still, they will not attack.

Then a bear off to the right, beige. We don’t run.

Then another from the left, grey. We don’t run.

Was there one more? At least 3 but we are told to just stay calm, they will not pursue us. Running might bring out their chase instinct.

MEANING:

I sense after thinking, Paul Wallis represents Our Lord. He did a Podcast about Jesus & his rise from the dead – we agree he had passed out on the Cross, was revived, & went to India where he lived to 81. I wrote an article called “Paul takes Jesus off the Cross.”

OK, this is a message from Jesus.

The bears at the end signify sufferings.

The private property, which Jesus gives myself & husband {Nick} access to enjoy, is his love. The golden leaves prove it – gold is love, leaves are success.

He is here saying when He kisses my hand {after I thank him}

“The next several things you will suffer come from my Grace.”

I took issue with Jesus kissing my hand & my inner voice said,

“He kisses your hand the way he washed the feet of the Apostles.”

This is a type of warning not to ‘run’ or try to escape these sufferings, just bear them & it will be fine.

Indeed it started that very night. My left arm began to hurt so much it took my breath away. My right arm hurt also, not as much. Had trouble sleeping. This is the big & little black bears.

The next night, last night was another bear or bears. The left side of my neck hurt, then my head, my whole left side of my body – {it was NOT heart related.} I also felt some sort of an ‘anxiety attack’. I couldn’t sleep most of the night.

Not sure there will be another bear or bears, but whatever it is I know it’s from God. It’s to do penance for the Souls in Purgatory, pretty sure. I was so exhausted I couldn’t say the Masses, but will make up for that.

What has Nick to do with this coming to me in the white pickup truck? Why does he sit with me & why is he hiding in that room for a bit?

Probably because he’s with me, in my domain or Soul arena, so he’s suffering with me. Him hiding for a while could be reluctance to suffer, escape it, but it’s inevitable, as being with me is some of his Purgatory.

The truck again, it’s from God, his being with me. Why the forest, woods all around, green?

Its life, & it’s all a success, all the leaves of the trees mean success. When God is in the middle of your heart & life, life is Sacred. {end}

James Brown Ascends after 17 Years!

12-21-23 Party-James Brown Ascends!

Born: May 3, 1933 – Died Dec 25, 2006 – Ascended Dec 21, 2023 – 17 years in Purgatory

It begins with 2 guys who’re trying to become entertainers. They are just beginning – so desperate they come up to myself & some friends saying,

“Would you like to see us perform?”

We go & it’s them 2 with a small band behind. They are trying out their act. Both stand there with their arms crossed over their chests for some sort of effect, both have on white t-shirts with long sleeves.

NO ONE ELSE CAME TO SEE THEM.

Can’t recall what song they’re doing – not bad or good, just OK. I try to figure how I can help. We need DRAMA.

Somehow a bow & arrow appear. I could shoot it at one of them {for dramatic effect}. But it could injure them. I come up with a thick rubbery black blob to put on the point. I try it. But the blob fits over the point, & even though it covers it, nevertheless there is enough of a point to cause harm – I show them.

What do we do next? Can’t recall.

Except I’m wandering by my house & my white Caddy to see where I can park it. It’s like long ago, when I lived in the house in Pacific Palisades. Or is it the corner of the old Post Office? I’m outside figuring where do I put my car safely? There is a car repair on the corner, he’s busy, doesn’t notice me. Can I put it near there on the corner, not his property but seems OK? {Here is definitely the old Post Office.}

I walk a bit down an open alley, not a street for cars, pleasant, lots of cement, some wild green vines. No one pays attention or looks at me.

Then inside I’m cooking something & there seems to be a man friend around but it gets so vague I don’t even know what.

How I looked then I dated him – when we met in 1967 I was 22, he was 34 – By 1970 it ended, he was so cruel I couldn’t take it any more.

Then it changes. I am with a group of people, many of them black. We are setting up a PARTY. Why, for what? Don’t know. But we have a beautiful apt which we designed, decorated. I see a female who’s obsessed with flowers. She has a large table & put – I counted – 13 vases of flowers on it! I laugh at this. One of the glass vases has a large head of beautiful LETTUCE sitting inside – & I think another has another type veggie – I chuckle at this. Like ‘what a fanatic!’

So we as a group are doing, doing, doing & then who do we invite? It’s so strange, so vague, but we think of what celebrity can we invite? And someone says ‘Jim Brown,’ the football star, is in town.

I mutter something about I knew him but ………Then I say,

“Find out where he’s staying – we’ll invite him, after all, I KNEW him, he might accept, & he IS a celebrity!”

But we don’t know WHICH hotel!

Then the thin young black man to my left – gives us the name – Something like ‘Dalletgreen?’ but he knew, & I say,

“Of course, you’d know where your own people are.” Meaning because he’s black, they know.

OK so the letter is sent & we GET A LETTER BACK!

It’s a nice letter. He tells us he’s NOT in New York – where we are right now – in the city. He says, more or less like this,

“I am in FLORIDA, retired.” {So I can’t make it to your party} – If only I could recall all the words, but I can’t.

He speaks of vaguely of moving there, being finished with the hard life. It’s polite. And the fact that he, a celebrity, wrote us this letter seems to be a BIG DEAL. He could have IGNORED us!

What strikes me about the letter is that it’s done just like I’ve been doing in my book on the Souls in Purgatory, especially the last picture, exquisite, done by Leonardo Da Vinci of Our Holy Mary with Jesus & St. Anne, & it has these grey-blue colors in it. So for the caption I used the blue-grey color, made it bold & italics & its pretty. He used the same lettering, on white paper, it stands out. There’s white on top, white on the bottom, the lettr is a couple paragraphs in the middle just ike I formed it in my book.

OK he could not come, but this letter comforts us!

Amazingly, this man hurt me but I still cared! I wanted him at our party after all. It’s not Jim Brown, its James. {end}

MEANING:

*{ME: I will need help, Mother God, especially at the beginning.

There are 2 guys so desperate to entertain no one wants to see them but me & my friends – The stuff about the arrow – Trying to get drama.

Then I am at an old house in Pacific Palisades, then it’s by the old Post Office, trying to find a place to park my car, then a lonely alley, cement, wild vines, no one sees or notices me, it’s like alone & isolated, abandoned. Then am I cooking but what & for whom?

MG: These are struggles to be seen, heard & noticed in Purgatory & in James’ early life. The two guys represent James Brown in his early days before he was a star. He did work with others, the ‘Famous Flames’ which disbanded & he got bigger alone. Maybe this is them. Maybe it shows the Flames leaving him, or he them, as their arms are crossed over their chests, which shows rejection or lack of love.

Or it could show DEFIANCE. Because nobody wants him/them, they’re saying ‘I don’t care,’ like those that are ostracized or overlooked, shunned by all, might tell you they don’t give a hoot. It’s an ATTITUDE.

This person/s starts out that way- it could represent James Brown. After all, he was deserted by his Mother at an early age – they say he was bitter. She came to see him after he became a star – she called him her baby, but he told her

“I’m not your baby.”

His Dad gave him over to a good lady who ran a restaurant / entertainment center / bordello. But here he thrived & learned to make money by dancing for soldiers, a little tot. That’s why he was such a great dancer – he danced, they threw coins, he made a living.

Now you see yourself in a couple places. One Pacific Palisades. There was a transitory place, you never had time to furnish the house & weren’t there very long, a transient time. You never felt comfortable there & when you were in Mexico, a gay man you knew broke in & lived there for a while & robbed you before he left. The landlord told you abut him.

This house represents lack of roots, security & support. That’s how James felt when he was little, that’s how souls in Purgatory feel.

Now the Post Office, which means ‘it’s a message.’

No one NOTICES YOU. The repair man there is stooping down fixing a car. You want to know where to park your car to keep it safe. The car is your vehicle to Purgatory – You want to be able to minister to them.

Now you walk this forlorn alley, no people, no one there, you are alone – Cement & wild vines. No houses with windows glowing light & warmth, cold cement, lacking humanity – Vines growing wild is no one is tending or nourishing what’s here.

This is also Purgatory, alone, forgotten, abandoned, no one notices them or thinks about them.

You cooking is preparing nourishment for the souls – the Holy Mass. Who the benefits go to, you don’t know.

That’s the PREAMBLE or set up for what’s next – the party which says ‘Hey, we succeeded in reaching Purgatory & someone got into Heaven!

You’re not alone. There’s a FANATICAL woman who’s set up 13 bouquets of flowers on the table including a beautiful head of lettuce in a glass vase with water. I {Mother God} laugh at this. No need to look too far, that woman is YOU.

ME: What makes you think it’s me? And the dreamer would be you, then if it is me, why are you chucking?

MG: Just laughing at how much you love this unworthy man. He spent 17 years in Purgatory – that’s a mean sentence. You almost died of a broken heart for him, yet you do all this.

ME: The table I count 13 bouquets of roses & also the head of lettuce & some veggies in water. Does the 13 say he got 13 Holy Masses in order to rise up?

MG: Not sure but it could. It took a lot to get him up there. He’s been appearing to you since about 2010 when you gave him the first Sacred Kiss. You thought he ascended after only 4 years, not a long time.

Then he did not appear again until a couple months ago repenting finally of how he treated you, then days ago with 5 Sacred kisses.

ME: This explains why in 2010 at his appearance, his Guardian Angel arranged the visit for me to give him a Sacred kiss. I found it unpleasant because he was in a low place in Purgatory.

I now understand how this experience showed he was not clean – he would not take responsibility for his actions toward me, his lack of caring. It’s in what he said,

“Do not go out with a black man.”

In this he as pushing off his personal responsibility for actions, he blamed it ON HIS RACE.

His statement irritated you immensely, you could not believe one who was about to ascend into Heaven could give you that message. But he was not going to Heaven, lots of cleansing awaited him.

But recently, when he repented, he finally admitted it was his own fault, not because he was black that he hurt you. That speeded up his Ascension.

You recall your first husband, how after 30 years he’d improved much, but he STILL HATED you. That disgusted you so much that you asked God not to show him to you again. Then 25 years later, recently, you relented & told God you were willing to see him & that act of charity made him ascend that very day

ME: Who are the other people at this party, all of us are saying we want to invite a celebrity, & this one black man knows where ‘Jim Brown’ is staying.

Notice he did NOT know where the man was! He got it wrong. He had no one who could reach him, help him. Remember Tim McVeigh? When you found him he said,

“No one else was able to reach me.”

Apparently, ‘reaching’ is tantamount to ‘helping.’

It’s like that. You’re one in a million. How many people minister to Purgatory? Think about it. When someone dies, they’re lucky if their relatives pray for them a day or two, maybe a few weeks at the most. The ones who were close or dependent might grieve more, but grieving does not make them ascend. Just like healing, grief, fear & worry do not get a person healed – faith & Love is what does it.

How many people full time minister to Purgatory, think of them every day, pray for them, & voluntarily say Masses or purchase masses – like you used to do – thousands of dollars worth a year, until you started saying them yourself. How many people do that? Priests say the Mass but because they’re PAID. It doesn’t count the same.

The hint that the flowers represent Holy Masses is the TABLE. They are said on the table.

Lettuce is a strong sign of VICTORY. The laurel leaves on the heads of the Grecian Olympic Champs long ago got that started.

His letter is the third & maybe final message from him. White borders on top & bottom are what? It’s like the message is in the sky, white above & below – that’s where he is – up there.

Being in ‘Florida,’ speaking of retiring & all that – Resorts are Heavenly places, where one leaves behind cares & enjoys just being. That’s his state, finally. Thank God. The pain is over. {end}

College of God & Love, Core Tenets

My Xmas Gifts from Jesus & Mary!

It’s close to Christmas time, getting Gifts from Jesus & Mary!

This is from Leonardo Da Vinci & I never saw it before – EXQUISITE!

12-20-23 Quick Review Dreams

Ignored yesterday’s dreams so want to just put sound bytes on them & today, as I’m busy editing, formatting my latest book on Purgatory & near the finish line.

Today:

I was with a middle aged maybe French female to my right, taking. She said she was ostracized. I told her,

“How could that be? You’re charming, gracious, attractive, etc.” {Many superlatives I can’t recall.}

But she just leaned back looking up thinking I did not understand. She’s short, kind of stocky, curly light brown hair maybe 40 yrs old.

I said,

“I know what it feels like to be ostracized. They treat me like I was a prostitute”

This woman gave me something I think – it’s vague, I don’t know what.

Then another female came in, she remains standing while the first was sitting to my right. She brings a bundle, wrapped up in a large pack with a picture on it. It’s a blanket or comforter. From the picture I’m not impressed – I already have one like that. It portrays light medium green like a jungle or wilderness image, lots of leaves.

But then I look INSIDE, take a peek. Wow. It’s a pure white blanket & on it are embroidered, in various threads that stand out, roses. Some are PURE GOLD THREAD – those really catch my eye. Now I see this is VERY VALUABLE.

This bigger, taller woman says,

“Can you give me 25 cents for the music” – juke box I guess.

I dig into my pockets & have only a couple dimes. I apologize. But I walk to the dresser & there on it is some change to make exactly what I need, I take it to give to the new lady.

The French lady to my right says,

“I’ve had that appear to me as well.”

We’re in a large room.

Then as we all sit quietly, a man comes in who is a frequent client of this room, like maybe it’s a bar, restaurant or some kind of club. – After him, 4 more men. The last has on a standout outfit, with geometric designs in colors, some red. He looks familiar, like a well-known actor or something. These men are sort of uncaring types like Mafia or working class Italians who would be in a men’s club & feel the male is the head of the family, the male takes care of business, women have nothing to do with it, etc – As I said, Mafia types. I knew them from B’klyn.

MEANING:

*{ME: I have solid ideas about the blanket, Mother God. It’s something pure, of God – white. And the GOLD ROSES, golden thread, is the Highest Love, the others are also GRACES. At first I thought it was Graces I already had – not impressed. Then I saw INSIDE the package & it was way more special than the image on the front – it is NEW things I apparently DON’T HAVE. What are these Graces of Love?

Who is Gifting me this? Is it an Angel, a Saint, the Holy Mother herself? As she is BIG & TALL she is an important person. Can you discern who?

She asks me for pocket change to play music – I don’t even have that – but it appears, it seems to me, Graced by the Almighty, so she gets her music.

What is music? Ambiance, the ‘music of the spheres,’ the ‘Chords of heaven’ & the like. I had to give VERY LITTLE & even that I did not have of my own volition, God gave it to me!

And the poor French lady who says she’s ostracized, I can’t discern who she is, what it’s about. Could she be in Purgatory? Forgotten – ignored, as most of them are?

Also can’t figure out the Mafia guys. The last one is someone I know. The designs across his chest are like criss-crossed – have red in them. Criss Cross is ‘no’ or a rejection. Red is suffering. What is it about? Where are we, this room, like a club or meeting place.

MG: The French woman is a Soul in Purgatory who took you up on your request for them to pray for those on earth, including you – Isn’t that fantastic? This is the first indication you’ve ever had of a Purgatory soul responding to this request! Wow! She tells you she’s been FORGOTTEN.

You sympathize with her because on earth you are also treated as persona-non grata by society due to being in the adult trade –also because you’re single & single women are not welcomed in Patriarchy after people get married. Women are de facto owned by their men & outsiders, which are single women, are stone walled because they would lend power & independence to the wife.

Now this BIG WOMAN could be Our Holy Mother, if not, a great Saint who you call on often – St. Gertrude the Great, Saint Anne Catherine Emmerich or Saint Mary of Agreda. You have been given more GOD-LOVE & other Graces. All depicted by threads creating ROSES. {Roses are often associated with Our lady of Guadalupe & St. Theresa of Liseux but it could be any of the Saints.}

Last night was the first time you addressed God, prayed to Her in the new way you perceive Her, as Infinity, containing every created thing animate & inanimate – the Galaxies that are Infinite, the stars & planets, meteors, the sky, the earth, the water, all the Infinite planets that also have life as we have, & their beings & members. You named a hundred things, of the Creation of God & worshipped God that way. You even included insects, rocks, sand, mountains, sky, clouds, hurricanes, tornadoes, many animals. It went on for an hour.

That could be why this GREAT LADY came to you with Gifts, & the picture outside was CREATION, but INSIDE was God’s LOVE – which is apropos to your prayers. You worshiped God in Creation but it was all out of & for LOVE, SO God reciprocated! Wow!

She asked for POCKET CHANGE, which might have been your simple prayers, so little. But even that you fell short of – it was GIVEN YOU by God! Yes, the vision was granted you by God, you only repeated what was given! {I had dimes but the juke box needed a nickel with the dimes, which I didn’t even have!}

The Poor Soul tells me she was Gifted this way also by the Almighty.

And the Mafia guys? There’s only one thing this could apply to & it was a prediction. Today you asked a man to do something for you & the Cause – he will not do it. His love is not great enough. Mafia is Satan, Satan comes from libido – his lower self blocks him. But why the RED of suffering? He cannot endure the SUFFERING of doing you & the Cause this favo.- Lack of zeal or devotion.

But don’t worry, St. Paul said God would fill in for our weakness. You need help, God will enable you to do more, the thing you want this man to help with will be done by you with God’s help.

ME: Who are the other guys that go before him?

MG: Lol. That’s like saying ‘He’s like all the other guys.

Men generally think with their glands before the spiritual self. So the other ones are those you’ve known who ‘came before him’ – ‘they’re all alike.’ {end}

Yesterday:

I was watching a male running for some type of office speaking. He was great, emotional, terrific. I went up to him after & told him,

“Next time you run for office, I’ll go with you & help. I can speak well also.”

He was walking away & gave me a key ring with dozens of keys, to use. They are on a ‘fob’ – not sure what to call it, a light brownish old metal thingy They are close together, you can’t even see the ring, it’s like a ‘mound’ of keys.

I was mighty surprised that he accepted me so quickly & gave me access to all that he had!

Later he & I are walking together to work & a lady is trailing behind us who I suspect it’s his gf & she’s jealous. But we’re about work, she’s about personal. Not sure what he does, he glances at her, not sure if he speaks with her.

I sense we’re going to work together for a cause. {end}

MEANING:

*{ME: Mother God I know keys are the ability to access a place – the ability to go or get somewhere. “I will give you the Keys to the Kingdom”- Was it Jesus who said it?

But who is the man running for office who preaches so well? And I know I’m good, too, & I offer to help him & he gives me all those keys, then a jealous female seems to be watching us, but it’s about work.

MG: You’ve been praying a lot to Jesus & Mary about the Order, asking for help. This is Jesus, symbolically. Don’t know if it’s the HISTORICAL Jesus appearing, but it’s about Him. OK you want to start a new religion, Order, Temple, community, convent, housing, Sisterhood etc. He’s giving you all the keys is the ABILITY to access all these items, to get there!

ME: Wow. And the ‘jealous’ Lady?

MG: Take the word ‘jealous’ with a grain of salt. It’s Holy Mary, symbolically, who’s looking over you guys, to see if you’re legit – which you are. It’s just a symbol of her being an important part of this. She will be honored equal to Jesus in all that you do.

ME: In today’s dream its She who appears giving me the new mantle/blanket, a Godly Power. But yesterday she’s on the sidelines, Jesus gives me the keys. Why Jesus, not her?

MG: Jesus one day, She another. Remember long ago – 1978 & 1981? First He appeared to give you 3 rings – Faith, Hope & Charity Jan“78. Then late 1981 She appeared & gave you Poverty, Chastity & Obedience.

It’s close to Christmas time, you are getting Gifts. You are saying an extra Mass each day for the Souls, it is bearing fruit for yourself. Wow. They are being helped, so are you. A lot has also improved since you gave up wanting the ‘glory’ of the world – recognition. It’s an ugly desire that stands in the way of Holiness

ME: I don’t dare ignore dreams any more. I was going to skip both of these, & look what they mean! Only because I’m trying to finish the book on Purgatory, ‘God Waits for Them.’ Thank Heaven I decided to record these. {end}

College of God & Love, Core Tenets

Help Old Friend in Purgatory

12-18-23 Grave Digger for Soul-Vivian V-

Girl I Helped as a Child I now Help in Purgatory! See BELOW this part about James Brown, I gave

both him & Vivian sacred kisses

The beginning is I am a grave digger & this is inside a large mall where there are many COLUMNS holding up the ceiling.

My job is to DIG where there’s to be a grave for someone. The ground is HARD as it’s winter {I know it doesn’t make sense} & it’s frozen.

I also see 2 thick plastic mats lying next to each other, one around the column or under it, the other next to it, which I must dig through, which is another impediment.

This project I no longer see & next, there’s another grave digging project, this time with 2 male assistants.

It’s in the same mall, & we need tools. They ask if I have a shovel, not sure if I do. But I go off & find 3 tools, one of which is this iron gizmo, about 4.5’ in length, it’s end is just an iron flat spatula – the tool is thick from top to bottom & heavy, in my real life premises this is very old, was painted red, now mostly worn off. And there are 2 other tools which I show the male who’s in charge. I’m concerned that he has what we need. I think they have some tools also. Are we set?

We get to work under a column in the mall. Then to my right I see a table where a girl is sitting & to her right her Dad, across from her the Mom.

Her face is SO FAMILIAR. I then recognize her & rush over to her & kiss her in a lively manner on the right cheek {similar to yesterday’s experience with James Brown!} 3 times!

She had that sweet innocent smile of hers from the first our eyes met. She’s wearing a darkish top with a medium beige button-up sweater; the sweater seems to be dropping off one shoulder.

I say to her,

“Wow, I haven’t seen yu in what seems like 5 years!”

The Dad says,

“Three years.”

As I stand there looking at her Dad, he’s fairly young – no more than 40, whereas her Dad in real life was around 60 if I recall correctly. I mostly communicate with him, {he seems gleeful & nice looking} but do glance at the Mom who is about 40 & I hope I haven’t offended her by speaking more to Dad than her – but he seemed closer to me. Her face is kind of lacking color, the

eyebrows are SPARSE. {end}

Next, I go to a theater where there’s a troop of dancers who’re dressed Western style & I presume that is how they dance. I see cowboy hats, vests, male & female. There’s about 10 of them.

This type of music & dance doesn’t interest me too much so I go off to do an errand & plan to return. I sense I go to the mall again with a companion.

But at the mall I see a catastrophe. I find out one of the dancers was attacked – by whom or what I don’t know, but her entire foot is damaged. Not only were the nails torn off but the toes of the foot & she is in great pain. I just see torn off stubs, no blood.

I return to the theater & there, another female has had the same experience. I interview her, trying to find out who or what did it. She says,

“It was like nails. The pain was so great I howled & used the worst language. I will replay it.”

She then produces a machine like a TV set sort of, which when it’s engaged begins the howling sound of her screaming & cursing. It’s so fearful she & I run out of the theater, the rest of the people there are all in consternation, closing their ears & maybe running out of the place. The audience is now sparse.

She has the same condition as the first female I saw.

I did see a bit of their dancing before all this & they are professionals, it’s OK.

MEANING:

*{ME: Wow, am I going to need help Mother God – not with the first, but the next 2 dreams. Haven’t a clue

The first is I’m a grave digger because someone has just died & it’s my old friend, Vivian V. I knew her from age 12 to 15, when I ran the “Daughters of the Light,” & she was my neighbor

I did a lot for her including taking her to the movies {Star Wars, she didn’t like it, I don’t blame her}, had her & her bro inducted into Holy Communion in a local Church – had a custom-made red cashmere cloak made for her for the occasion with a white dress {it was winter.}

She attended my girl gatherings for the 3 years I knew her – then the family went to Puerto Rico & returned to me the red cape {no winter there! I’m not sure if I still have the cape – I hope so to confer it on some young lady in future – but I might have given it to Good Will}. She returned when to her Dad’s consternation, she got pregnant by an older man who wanted to marry her, they sent her back to the mainland to live with her sister, who she said ‘didn’t care’ & she visited me a lot at that time, seeking support.

Because of what the Dad said it clued me into her age. She was 12, I was 29 when we met {both ages approx.} If she just died – as the grave is being dug – she’d be around 61.

Who are the Mom & Dad – themselves or symbols of others? I suspect the Dad represents her Guardian Angel, since basically he brought us together by appearing at the table next to my grave digging in the mall. His appearance is good, he’s bright & cheerful, as an Angel would be if his charge is getting help. The Angel is the one who BROUGHT HER HERE – to the TABLE means to the Mass, which I am celebrating at a table.

Who is her Mom? Could be the Mother God within her. The eyebrows being sparse have to do with VISION. It hints that she’s ignorant of things spiritual – thank God for the Guardian Angel.

Her clothing? Dark top, beige sweater hanging off her shoulder. The dark is the shadow or veil still remaining between her & her Maker. The beige sweater is contemplation {seeing God’s Presence}, shoulders are usually carrying the Cross. Being ‘off’ the shoulder might be like saying,

“Rasa, you helping me took a burden off my shoulder.”

And that would explain the Guardian Angel’s smiling.

Now the eager 3 kisses connect her to yesterday’s dream of James Brown. They are BOTH in Purgatory; he’s not yet in Heaven as I hoped.

I explained before I have included in my daily Masses now, 10 kisses on the palms of my hands, for the Souls & 10 hugs for them. These are Sacred rather than human acts – similar to Amma, the Hugging Saint’ when she transmitted Shakt {Holy Spirit} to rows of people for hours on end.

These hugs & kisses seem to be reaching their mark, they are effective! One might think them to be silly; they’re not.

So backtracking this might solve the mystery of James Brown & where he is. My kisses for Purgatorial Souls reached his cheek, so it’s Purgatory.

I reached Vivian in her need, this is blissful. {end}

THE THEATER:

ME: Help, Mother God

MG: Theater of Life. Actors in it, something that doesn’t especially interest you, so you go away for a short time & there’s a disaster. Then you return & see a similar disaster to the second lady.

You going ‘back to the mall’ is a key.

Remember those 3 months you had such bad eyestrain yu couldn’t work on the computer? {Started a year ago.} So to make use of your time, you decided to go out there to meet people – a couple bar/restaurants where the locals hang out, & you did this 2 days a week & while talking tried to get one of the owners to let you preach on their premises, & also tried to initiate a new church with the support of locals.

None of this worked. No respect, cooperation, nothing. Not one single person had any enthusiasm or support for your work, although they received your free religious ministry including prayers that were ANSWERED because of your ANOINTING. Case closed, you QUIT & here it says,

“Went back to the mall,”

where you are a GRAVE DIGGER, lol. This means at the end of your efforts you said, more or less,

“What am I doing here at these bars? These people are not worthy of my ministry. I shall go back to the Souls in Purgatory where I am wanted & appreciated & where my efforts bear fruit.”

Now something catastrophic happens to TWO WOMEN, one you discover while at the Mall, the second upon your return to the Theater.

Why are you seeing this? Is it KARMIC in that when these women rejected God {through your ministry} calamity came upon them WHICH COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED had they come COSER to GOD & accepted more of God’s Grace?

The fact that you are IN THE MALL {Purgatory} in the first case, when you heard it, might indicate a woman got a DEATH SENTENCE, such as diagnosis of a fatal illness.

The second I cannot discern but it’s something that is so DEVASTATING that it affects or shocks everyone around her {in the Theater} & people flee to escape the trauma.

Dictionary of idioms & phrases – To ‘step on one’s toes’

“To insult, offend, or upset one, especially by getting involved in something that is one’s responsibility. I want to help John out on his project, but I know it’s his baby, so I don’t want to step on his toes in any way. Look, you’re going to have to step on a few peoples’ toes if

you want to get ahead in this business”

In these cases, it’s so serious that not only are the toenails gone, but the toes are shredded, & the victims said it felt like NAILS & the second one said it made her scream & use the worst language & it was so bad, it affected all those around her who wanted to get away.

The dream does not explain WHO got these traumas & what they are is only hinted re the first, as explained. Perhaps in the future, if you speak to locals again, you might find out. Except you’re not speaking to any locals so it maybe be along time before you know anything.

ME: OK Mother God, I see great trauma. Is this a message to them & me that they should have been more open to God’s Grace, & now they are being punished for their uncaring attitudes?

MG: People don’t realize how serious it is to REJECT GOD. You brought God to them on a SILVER PLATTER. And at the end, not a single one gave you any warmth, support or even sympathy for trying to do what you tried. They rejected you & the God you brought them, so this is the result. It’s their karma, indeed, & God wanted you to know. You are not suffering – THEY are. You tried, they rejected – as you sow shall you reap.

ME: Why is the setting of Purgatory in this dream in a Mall, & the graves being dug at the foot of pillars?

MG: The mall is enclosed the way Purgatory is – you don’t see the sky, which is the end of limitation. The pillar is they are in the Kingdom of God, Jesus & Mary are PILLARS of the Catholic Church, you’re saying their Mass, these Souls are being helped by the Masses of Jesus/Mary.

ME: Why is the ground FROZEN & what are the 2 mats & then the tools the head man asks me to get – like shovel – but I find other things, don’t see the shovel. What is that incredibly strong iron bar?

Ground frozen is when there’s a lack of Grace – Grace is water, bodies of water, gentle rain, etc. This is not an EASY ministry, you are getting help & it must be either Guardian Angels {yours & theirs} or Saints.

The TOOLS? You need a shovel for soft dirt that can be moved. If it’s frozen you need a battering ram to get into it, much FORCE. And this tool is the strongest there is, pure iron, cannot be bent, that you will use to GET INTO THE GRACE.

The OLD RED PAINT is the clue. Red is SUFFERING. It is the suffering of Jesus & Mary that will obtain the Grace; they will get trough the hard soil of our sins, our obstinacy, our lack of spiritual effort. We are HARD against God, the Holy Mass is the Body & Blood of Jesus & Mary, it will get through, it is MERCY.

The two plastic mats: Plastic is something false/unnatural. This could be the attachment people have to the word & the flesh – things that lead one on the Broad Highway to Hell, the limitation of our minds riveted on temporary illusions. Get through this fake-plastic layer of thought & you can get to what is REAL.

Disclaimer: When I speak of ‘black’ men or women it’s usually about souls, not race

12-17-23 See James Brown – He will ASCEND on the 21st!

This should be interesting.

I go to see a show, inside a building – James Brown is performing. I got all sorts of things ready on paper. Had it all set up, seems like in the end, a couple small images of myself off a post card, I forgot where I put all the rest of the stuff. I’m dashing as the show’s almost over, this is my chance.

Getting ready to go to him, when all at once a black female is near me – I was talking to her earlier but now she acts up.

She says,

“If you go to him, I’ll kill you!”

She’s carrying a longish stick, maybe 3-4’, & it has light green cloth attached on 2 sides, about a foot square each, & she jumps me with this stick again & again. I fight her, knock her back & hit her several times; she falls but wants to attack me again.

My lady friend looks at her device & says,

“It’s nothing but cloth,”

and I see it is, with a row of some sort of small balls or buttons on it vertically.

I finally get away from her but when I go to the spot he was performing, it’s all over & the door to the ‘dressing room’ has become the wall with a seam. I try to pry open the seam but can’t.

I know he’s in the building so I go looking, down the stairs. In front of me is a room filled with building maintenance black ladies.

I say to them

“Where is the theater?”

They say no theater, this is a hotel.

OK then, where does James Brown get dressed before & after his show?

All five of them take me now, up the stairs. I was afraid they’d be jealous like the other black lady, but they aren’t.

As we walk into the premises of James, we make quite a noise, like a raucous, a wave of noise.

And he is like a dark cloud to the right, hovering in the air, but he turns into himself – at first HUGE, then shrinks to normal size man in less than a second & right before me. And he is not brown skinned, completely black, close to my face, I see him very clearly.

Without giving him a chance to say or do anything I kiss him zealously on his right cheek 5 times, & was going to kiss his left cheek also.

I hear his voice clearly, his presence – it’s him, not a symbol – no one else. He says,

“You have to give them something TERRIFIC,”

meaning the audience for a show.

That’s it.

Next scene totally different. I’m watching a preacher, who’s very good. Then another preacher comes by & gives a lesson on preaching, which is also good. The first man I feared might be offended. One of them is wearing fatigues, not sure which one.

I intervene so no one will be hurt. I explain clearly to the second preacher that the first was extremely good because he put his EMOTIONS into speaking. But you also have something important to contribute I tell him, they are both good & I make peace between them.

Then a group of people are holding me up on someone’s shoulders, saying how great I am, like hurrah, hurrah, she’s our religious hero.

Then I’m standing taller than those around me. I look down & see my high heels are higher than anyone else’s – like 2’ tall heels! That’s why I’m taller, lol!

Then they wanted to take pictures of me as a religious celebrity. They took a few & we were done – but then I see the altar & say to take some of me in front of it. I recline before the altar; it’s decorated in blue highlights. They are directin me, there’s a small dog also reclining here, beige color, fluffy. {end}

MEANING:

*{ME: Mother God, where is James, Heaven or Purgatory? I saw him a couple years ago – his Guardian Angel brought him to me. I gave him the Sacred Kiss, he said something, & the Guardian Angel took him away, I assumed to Heaven. But this imagery is confusing & could go either way, Purgatory or Heaven.

MG: Yes, it could be interpreted either way. If when the Guardian Angel took him away not to Heaven, but had simply brought him to you for a visit so you could help him then he’d still be in Purgatory.

The dark cloud he’s in or is his soul would be the darkness he’s still in & he manifests as a male so you can communicate with him person to person. Being black would be, then, still his soul is quite dark, not ready to ascend or is he?

But then again, there is the theory which you agree to, that God is DARKNESS to us humans, because we do not understand God – so explains St. John of the Cross. And when we go into ‘dark nights’ all we see is darkness but we are actually coming closer to the God we cannot yet understand.

And so James might be in Heaven in a ‘dark cloud’ because you cannot perceive or understand his being {there with God} & he manifests for you in human form.

The very black skin would be an extension of your perception – he is darkness to you, beyond your perception as being in Heaven.

But then again, on the side he might be still in Purgatory, you began to do the kisses on your hands every Mass, sending them to the Souls in Purgatory, & if he’s there he received these zealous kisses. Or he might have received them in Heaven.

I think the jury is still not out on this.

You recently heard from him after you listened to all the audio ‘slave accounts’ – 40 or 50 hours of them. Somehow he saw your empathy & repented hurting you.

I think we shall hear from him again to decide where he is.

ME: The 2^nd dream, what is that about? Something different? Who is giving me the star treatment? One thing I do know, me having 2’ high heels is the Cross of Jesus. My being the ‘highest’ would be because my Cross is worse than that of my companions. I don’t get who these people are.

MG: These might be Souls in Purgatory. If it’s Saints they would be Saints not as evolved or Self Realized. Someone is honoring you, whoever they are. It gives you a break from all the work.

ME: It could be because of my new understanding re recognition, that it is part of the ‘Kingdoms of the world & their GLORY” that Satan tempted Jesus with. I never thought about recognition that way, but recently I see it as never before. Praise, status, recognition, honors of the world are all part of that insidious GLORY, & I am renouncing it. {end}

College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets

Geared to Women

I got this letter from an Org that

teaches self reliance, carpentry,

camping, permaculture &

outdoor work classes much of it

geared to women – The first letter

is them, my answer second

There’s beauty and tragedy during this time of midwinter celebrations. Gift-giving has been a part of many traditions for centuries, and remains a sweet way to conjure warmth and joy. At the same time, this sweet practice has contorted into something congested and draining in the post WWII materialist United States.

So much stuff!

Boxes and packing material and things that need places to go. It can get a little out of hand.

Many of us yearn for deeply connective experiences more than we yearn for things. Why not make your loved one a delicious meal and share it with them while having a focused conversation about something they’re into? Or plan an excursion to a wild place you’ve never explored together? Or write a song or poem to share with them? Or plan to take a class or workshop together on a subject you’re both interested in (hint hint )?

However you approach this time, it can be helpful to examine your own relationship with giving and receiving.

Why do you give gifts?

What kind of impact are you hoping for?

What are you longing to receive?

May these inquiries help you feel more grounded and deeply satisfied in your relations, even if you find yourself drowning in bubble wrap.

On another note…as we get excited about opening up classes in January, we’re keying in to the strain that many are feeling around money and time. We wanted to share a few ways we’re responding to this reality.

These are the ways we’re trying to meet you in this moment (we’re all on the same team )

In the face of inflation and rising prices everywhere, we are not increasing our registration costs this year
As usual, we offer free camping (with facilities use) to all of our students; this includes access to a well-equipped outdoor kitchen, hot outdoor shower, clean and appealing outhouse, and the mountain beauty of our campuses
For those who don’t have camping gear, we’re trying out offering some set-up-for-you tents with bedding for a small fee at our Paint Fork campus
We’ve created this new Planning Your Trip page to share lots of useful info and help you feel more comfortable and prepared for the whole experience of coming here
Also on the Planning Your Trip page, and at the bottom of each class page, we’re sharing more info on transportation options and how to minimize costs there
We teach hard skills; if you go home and practice what you learn here, you can save money by building, growing, and making things for yourself, instead of buying them
During challenging times, feeling a sense of togetherness can be one of the most supportive things; coming to a class here helps many of us feel like we’re not alone in our hopes and dreams for a more sane and sustainable world

Whether or not you come learn with us, we hope you find a sense of not-aloneness this coming year, and that you can access the essence of generosity as you navigate giving and receiving.

With warmth and welcome,

Yours truly

Hello Sisters,

That’s the most sane, intelligent & valuable message/s I’ve gotten from your group since we started.

I agree with all you state & what you act upon, what you teach & provide. My problem with participating is I am old & both my hips hurt to the point of not being able to walk but 30-40 steps without carrying a small stool & sitting down {when outside} so I’m NOT a good candidate for your classes or any sort of TRAVEL. I have other conditions that make it rough for travel like a long bus ride, let’s skip all that.

I live ALONE in my house so leaving it can invite breakins & most importantly I FEED WILD ANIMALS every day. All who live in the forest or fields {I’m surrounded by mountains, fields, forests, 50 acres my own plus a large island, riverfront etc} avail themselves of the grub I provide, every day. If I disappeared they’d go hungry. I feed everyone from bees to bears; foxes, 1 coyote, skunks, possums, deer, 1 unknown big cat, chipmunks & squirrels, many birds, etc. Raccoons galore. I was feeding some of the raccoons & bears by hand, they got so tame. These last critters can do mischief to property, I’ve had all sorts of dilemmas, so it pays to be around to watch out for trouble.

Putting all that aside, I am hopefully your SISTER IN SPIRIT. I’ve written you before that I hope to start an Order, a new religion geared toward women partially written – A Temple to Mother God {no men allowed}, a ‘convent’ for single sisters who want it {celibacy not required}, housing for Mothers & their children, A learning facility where we teach & practice all the things you do, plus show business, – entertainment training – acting, singing, dancing, public speaking.

We will have one large facility where beginners can live in a Community, less privacy, & also individual homes I will design for Moms with kids, or women in same-sex marriages, etc. This Order will create a MATRIARCHAL COMMUNITY. No we will not exclude men but have dances or parties often, for those women who want to meet men {we screen the men for background: criminal records, past relationships, employment etc – They have to apply for membership to take part in our gatherings}, date, & possibly have children. Some of them want no man participating – they want to raise their children alone. Those who wish to get married can be included but they live in separate premises – to be worked out. They can still belong to the Order & participate daily or weekly & take advantage of our perks, education, ambiance, child care, sisterhood, etc. {They will soon discover that having a man will be a conflict to their freedom. Men will resent their participating in a woman-liberating Order, doing constant activities, meeting in our Organization – they will begin to impede & limit the female’s participation, they will be a nuisance. Women will be warned ahead of time about this & they will discover its truth.}

We will have Elders & Officers who are the governing body of the Order, they will vote on issues & actions. Our Order will run on a military style with Officers {Like the Salvation Army.} We are the Army of Mother God. This will not be chaotic or a free-for-all, there will be rules, regulations & a hierarchy. Refusing to cooperate/obey the rules will mean termination of membership & all its privileges.

OK that’s my info for now. If you wish to speak to me you may write me & exchange phones. Thank you for your great activities that feature much for women. I’m excited about your courses including camping / scouting / self reliance, self defense, & assertiveness training for our Sisters.

Oh yes, in case you’re wondering – I’m not gay, just gung ho for Female Supremacy/Matriarchy. I’ve had 3 husbands, all of whom died. I was a Cougar for eleven years, dating new men every weekend – mostly college age. {Much experience & Wisdom here to impart to other women}. My life story plus many teachings are written in 31 books, available on Lulu.com & Amazon. I have TEN books on my life story called “I Strip for God.” If you’re interested in any of my books I will send you them FREE of charge.

One last note, in case you think I’m a Pipe Dreamer with delusions of grandeur. I have the money today to begin the Order on a small scale, but I am waiting to find staff who can help. My life story will probably be made into a Major Movie in my lifetime – I’ve had offers since 1981. {If not in my lifetime the rights will go to my beneficiaries for the Order}. Linda Carter, Wonder Woman, was asked to play me but she refused so that killed it at that time. But the day is approaching when it will be done. This will bring in the MILLIONS the Order will require to get it started. Meanwhile, I will put everything on paper & publish it, in case I can’t get it going during my lifetime; future Sisters will have a blueprint. I will leave all my resources to the right female/s. It can be one woman or a married couple who believe in my work & can dedicate themselves to it – they will get the money, my land which includes MINERAL RIGHTS with gas/oil under ground. {See Marcellus Shale}

Sincerely, Rasa Von Werder – look me up on the internet, including Wikipedia

College of God & Love, Core Tenets

Hard Times with Lover-Happy Now

12-16-23 Nightmare 2 solution to Bliss

Hard Times with Lover-Happy Now

It starts out so bad I wasn’t planning to record it but it changed to finding a solution & then ends in bliss.

The beginning was associating with many younger people, getting dressed & going to dances. The dressing is in crowded, no privacy dressing rooms with clothing that’s not so good. Don’t have proper, under wired bras, everything is designed like slips. This slip, pale, under this slip dress, darker, brighter. Not acceptable to my standards.

At one pint I’m butt naked & walk across the dressing room to show off the weight I’ve lost. I show back, then front. I see I need more muscle. A matron woman is looking, I’m bragging to her I guess.

And off to the side in kind of secret, on an upper level, a bunch of them are drinking strong drinks like vodka or the whiskey with other things, all of this given them by a big man in a grey tank top, somewhat older, he’s responsible, they’re getting smashed.

I wonder if I can even dance with the pain in my legs.

But the next scene is a whopper.

Somehow I’m in a group whose head is a young male. There are 5 of them. He has a loaded gun. We’re in the tiny parking lot of the old Post Office. We’re on a lower level of the lot, there’s a black young male sitting on the upper doing something in his lap in front of the small building. The head male of our group gives me a large loaded gun & tells me,

“Go up there to that guy & tell him to shoot all of us.”

For some reason I comply. I take the gun & talk over to the male up there, look back at the 5 sitting in a row. What I notice is one female who’s so small & has this little head that looks like she’s a child, where hair shoud be is just light-colored fuzz, blending in with her skull, but I know she’s a grown female.

What this is about defies me. I talk to the black guy telling him I have no idea what this is about & I’m NOT going to ask him to shoot them. He says nothing.

In this querulous state the dream ends. My thoughts are how do I end this nightmare? If it’s real, how do I avoid any more trouble? Do I hide the gun under the building so the crazed young male on the bench won’t use it?

It ends like this up in the air.

He was the ‘life of the party’ with the hooligans & addicts, he was one of them, just like them. He made me suffer

Next scene I am again in the area of that P.O. but the building isn’t there, but a huge ditch with overgrown bushes, something red on the bushes, either berries or flowers. A young male who has been to Hell & back is moving toward that ditch, going somewhere. He is at the end of his rope – in despair, & it’s like his life is finished, I can feel it.

But I refuse to give in to the sense of despair & I stand at the edge of the ditch where he’s going & strongly proclaim prayers, saying this more or less,

“I affirm that the Almighty will see you through this, it will all be straightened out & solved, you will get through it, it will have a good ending.”

I don’t actually recall a single word of the affirmation but that’s the spirit of it.

The young male looks up at me & he is strengthened.

Next scene is my old black Cadillac DeVille. First, I must check the back seats, where the cushion has come off & there’s black metal there. I fix the grey design thickly padded cushion & put it back. {In real life the seats were red leather.} In the dream the car is longer than real life, like a limo. We’re on the road in front of the Old Post Office as mentioned.

But a young male – is it the same one as before? – gets into the car with me & does something so it starts rolling backward. We’re in the back seat & I’m trying with all my might to stop the car but I am having trouble reaching the brake or turning off the engine.

We’re headed toward the small highway – there could be an accident. But by some good luck we get past the highway & land in the driveway of a house across it.

As we stopped I looked around in the black dirt we’re in & I see coins of all types, many quarters. I tell the young male about it, as I pick them up. He notices & picks up a bunch also. I give him what I collected. He says to keep it but I say no.

The next scene is a big change. Now there is a long walk & I see beautiful bushes with colorless puffs on the ends of the branches, & after walking through them – I know it’s a long path – women gather. The young man is with us also.

This walk turns into something really involved, it goes on at first through bushes & woods but it’ll soon end in wide open spaces with some surprises.

But before that, the young man saw a floristry store nearby & he ran in & got some large yellow roses & runs out.

One female in our company has flaxen hair; he gives her a beautiful rose to put in it. He distributes the other roses to other females in our group {another blonde also} – nothing for me. And it was MY MONEY that I gave him when we collected in that driveway – that enabled him to buy these flowers. But I chalk it up & sacrifice it, no matter.

Our walk continues & eventually becomes so long, & does acquire more females to walk with us – that I wonder if we should make it a weekly gig, where all are invited to VENT THEIR FRUSTRATIONS by walking – this being a marathon, a 5 mile or maybe even a 10 mile hike. Big efforts like this can sometimes bring about HEALING because the work we put into the project summons all our strength, & this is used to combat the negative place where we were.

Yes I can see it – face an ordeal like a huge walk like this dissipates our grief.

As we walk the spaces become way wide open – just as Our Lady of Fatima rural road in the mountains above my house. It goes miles up until a cross road – I walked it many times when my legs were OK. There’s a cow farm on it & we’re walking on cow droppings, mushy, mixed with soft mud. I avoid it at first, see my mates are walking right in it. I had to do the same, as then it turns into a soft mud/dung road, I’m almost up to the knees – can’t get around it. Some of the cow dung was a white liquid – I’ve seen that before as we used to have cows. At first, I hopped over it, but then this.

And so it turns into a possible weekly project which will BENEFIT those who join us. Every week I’m imagining, we’ll walk at least 5, maybe more miles. We start early, make sure we can do it before evening. Do we bring a lunch? – Certainly water. At least 2 quarts each I think. Yes, I’m planning it. Others will join; it will help people get stronger.

Me age 19 to 40

The next dream is rather different. I’m at a military place where there’s an officer who’s been criticized for something, but he moves on anyway, disregarding the talk. I’m there & it’s some sort of a bash. He takes me in his arms to dance & just WALKS ME past all the others through the outdoor party area, past it all into a one-story building affiliated with the place, & last of all, into a bathroom! I take note that he isn’t actually dancing to the music with me, just walking – maybe he doesn’t know how to dance I think.

He’s wearing a work suit, the kind you zip into, one piece, it’s pure white. I’m wearing the same type suit except it’s black & made of a fuzzy material, very short fake fur, also zips up.

In the bathroom he reveals his intentions, to make love. He unzips the proper area, his & mine, & proceeds. There’s a large window to our right & a matron comes by with some girls she’s watching over. She sees us but there’s nothing to see except two people facing one another in full suits, nothing else. She just glanced.

Nevertheless, the feeling of this male wanting me, whisking me away from everyone, & then making love to me was blissful. I have no idea who he could be; it was hard to see his face except that he was thin, face middle age with light brown hair. What impressed me is he got over the criticism & didn’t care – took a chance. The bathroom door he didn’t even lock, it made me a bit nervous if someone should open the door. But it was a tiny bathroom, like 5’ square. {end}

MEANING:

{ME: OK right from the start I need your help Mother God, I haven’t a clue. If this is about Nick again, I wouldn’t be surprised.*

MG: Yes it is about him, his despair without you, when he lost you. You kept waiting for him to call, he didn’t have the confidence. He was afraid of rejection.

You saw in vivid dreams in the last two years of his life, when you didn’t see one another; he was beside himself with angst. But he fixed it so you could not contact him & you waited for him to call.

He was living a delusionary life, that you would contact him or show up downtown, but you stopped going downtown & moved out of your apt there. And as we said, you did not have a way of contacting him due to his stubborn, foolish ways, he prevented you from this. He called you ‘obsessed,’ you were – but he also was, which he hid under a false front. You were both equally in love. You GOT OVER IT, that is, the physical addiction, the human desire, while still loving him in the God sense, but he COULD NOT.

What you see is various states of despair on his part. The first scene, he wants to die, have himself shot to death. Why his friends with him? They brought him no comfort, neither did his child, the little person on the bench in the row of people numbering 5. These are those closest to him. Neither himself nor these persons brought him relief from despair.

The only way he kept going was the hard liquor & cocaine, this masked his condition every night after work when he hit the substances. He sang it in his song,

“Cocaine & broken Bottles.’

You showing off ‘losing weight’ being naked is when you GOT OVER the obsession or attachment to him. It was incredibly hard, but you did it to save your life. The love was still there, as you told him when he finally called – but no more obsession. Being fat usually mans ATTACHMENT to the world, habits, addictions & the like.

Me when we were dating

He was COUNTING ON your obsession to do the same as you always did – show up downtown hoping to see him. He lived on hope but this was dashed again & again, & he couldn’t bring himself to do the right thing—contact you – he must have entertained every weekend

“She’ll he here looking for me -we’ll meet & make love.”

He kept living his delusion, with the so-called friends, supporters & enablers, he could have sang,

“Yes, I’m the great Pretender.”

Oh-oh, yes, I’m the great pretender
Pretending that I’m doing well
My need is such, I pretend too much
I’m lonely, but no one can tell

Oh-oh, yes, I’m the great pretender
Adrift in a world of my own
I played the game but to my real shame
You’ve left me to grieve all alone

Too real is this feeling of make-believe
Too real when I feel what my heart can’t conceal
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)

Yes, I’m the great pretender
Just laughin’ and gay like a clown
I seem to be what I’m not, you see
I’m wearing my heart like a crown
Pretending that you’re still around

Too real is this feeling of make-believe
Too real when I feel what my heart can’t conceal
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)

Yes, I’m the great pretender
Just laughin’ and gay like a clown
I seem to be what I’m not, you see
I’m wearing my heart like a crown
Pretending that you’re still around
(Still around)

Him heading toward the ditch when you make some positive affirmations to him was when you wrote him – through Pete – that God had better plans for him, that things would go well {something like that.} You did not put your name, just ‘someone who cares.’

The RED you see in the ditch of GREEN {life} bushes, berries or flowers {hopes of love}, are he’s suffering, but there’s HOPE. He looks at you from the ditch, as you made the prayer, that’s how he felt.

And when he got the letter –neither you nor Pete were friends on his Face book – so it went into an obscure place – when he saw it a couple weeks later he called – finally AFTER TWO YEARS!

Being near the Old Post Office each scene – the gun scene, the ditch scene & car scene, all three say,

“There’s a MESSAGE for you.”

It’s an OLD message, from years ago, so it’s the Old, not the new Post Office.

The Cadillac DeVille which he messes with so it rolls backward, you try to stop it & by sheer luck there’s no accident as it crosses the highway – etc. You discover coins there in the dirt, you give your collection to him.

The Cadillac is like a HEARSE. Again, he’s seeking death. He wrote abut it on his Face Book many times after you were gone,

“Death is calling my name”

and other references.

This shows he was lucky he didn’t die then, there was time left. What do you give him? Some sort of Grace, love, which he uses later.

When you’re on this walk, it begins, he gets yellow flowers, gives this girl one for her flaxen/blonde hair – it’s you – your flesh.

Roses represent love. He gives some to other females as well, that means he was given TIME & he no doubt scored with other females, but you were the main one in his heart. In your HIGHER SELF you were always jealous of the attention he gave your body – lol – & you warned your flesh ‘she’ would die if she continued her obsession. Death can mean many things not only physical, but psychological.

This was probably the time you were absent from him for FIVE MONTHS – he repented & wrote ‘Cocaine & Broken Bottles’ for you. So there was a reprieve from his despair & death wish.

The beginning is the time before you lost contact from 2019 to2022- you don’t like where you were. You hated the distraction from God, your inner self, being a part of the ills of the world, being with those who are lost, unevolved, ignorant & malicious. Yu had contact with all of them & it hurt. You yourself fell into the lower parts of your flesh, feeling the feelings of the lower self. It was dismal.

Pics I took to show his beauty – he said no one had ever told him he was beautiful

OK now it all changes & there’s the GREAT WALK. This is when he’s DIED & you go on your TREKS to Purgatory, where he’s helping you. This is part of his Purgatory, the help, because he’s suffering or working with you, feeling your feelings on earth, participating with yu to do the things that helps Souls. Like the other dreams say, he’s paying for Souls we well as you are. This is his Purgatory, but he’s also in your Heaven where your Soul is.

The cow dung you must go through is where the souls are – it’s their darkness or result of sins, it goes with the territory. You can’t avoid it, although at times you do but eventually, you can’t. On this road or through this PORTAL named after Our Holy Mother you walk with who? Angels & Saints.

Perhaps the beginning where he gives the yellow roses– maybe it wasn’t you in your flesh & other women he gave love to. Maybe it’s the Angels & Saints he’s honoring along with you, as you trod this path. It IS the beginning of this road so yes, it could be. And here you take souls from the darkness of bushes & woods to the bright, wide open spaces of Heaven.

Now the blissful end, it’s him in his new white suit {pure heart, in a pure place}. He’s gotten over his fear of criticism & reproach because of you he’s free to do as he wishes, & he wishes to be with you & share love, so he does. Why are you in this black fur? Same as his zip up suit but yours is black fur.

The only thing I can think of is you are in the ‘dark night’ or unaware of his love making to you. You become aware only in your dreams, like this.

Who is the matron & girls who don’t see also? That could be the people of the past. In fact, he has evaded & avoided all your former friends – seen as the military party – & here the females like his Mom & all his girl friends. They can’t see Nick making love to Rasa. You are safe. You are private. All is spiritual & unseen, this is the bliss of Heaven & the love you have.

About you hope others will join: You hope to attract others to helping Souls in Purgatory. If they are aware of your doing it, they might want to try as well.} {end}*

12-13-23 Lost Son My Worry-Lover Like a Son

This was extremely frustrating. I have been given a young male, maybe 7-8 yrs old, to watch, by his Mom, who I later see is named ‘Menendez.’

But a few things happen before this. One, I go to my usual apt {have seen it many times in dreams} which is in a hotel-style place, up the stairs, to the right or left depending which way you came, very private, nice place, more luxurious than usual.

This time as I go to the door do I have my key? I often forget my key for places. But as I try the door, it isn’t locked & to my astonishment, there are 3 females in my room! The apt has shrunk down so it’s but one room. And due to some austerity program now under way, they have billeted 3 more women in my room! That thrown me way off my stride, but I have to accept it. I was going through my mind what I was going to ask them,

“Does any of you have a contagious disease?

Is any of you gay?

Because then I’d be on my guard.

The beds are fixed – they added a couple, so each one has her own bed, maybe one is a trundle bed which slides under the other, not sure how it works but we’re all separate.

So under this unhappy situation I next find I have a boy under my care. But what happened to my cell phone & some other device? Did those females take it or get it lost?

So I have no way of communicating with the Mom, nor she with me. This is a disaster. She might be trying to call me to see how her son is. And I can’t call her because I don’t have my phone, for some reason, & also, I don’t have her # otherwise nor her address.

I go through so many changes trying to figure how else to contact her. They boy doesn’t know his address or phone. I look in the phone book but then I say,

“How many Menendez must there be here”

Him partying & he loved animals a lot

and I think hundreds. Maybe that’ll be the only way I can find her, start calling down the list.

Meanwhile THE NOISE. The people around me are playing so much music & it’s nothing but noise to me. I yell at them to stop. – Also constant loud TALKING. All around me is CHAOS & I tell them t shut up – I CAN’T THINK!

Because I had to think of a way to reach this poor Mm who must be frantic

At one point I see the boy & myself in an apt, – is it B’klyn? He says,

“I used to hate it here but now I like it!”

The only feature that stands out in him in my memory is he has darkness under his eyes, unusual for a kid.

Another time I’m talking to a man. I’m in the neighborhood where this young male lives. It’s a nasty hood & I say to this man,

“Would you like your own son to live here?”

He didn’t mind someone else’s son lived here, but I knew it’d be different with his own son.

One time the boy & I are in a bedroom, we need to leave to go look for his Mom. When I notice where the bed would be is an indoor pool. I jump in it; it’s maybe refreshing, not sure.

And what else I don’t know, just monumental worry.

MEANING:

*{I know it’s my Beloved, let’s call him Bob because I’m going to name abusers. Menendez & dark under the eyes tells me who it is & what it’s about. The Menendez brothers killed their own parents, & it was because of abuse & they killed the Mom also my guess is because she knew & let it happen. This was the same with Beloved. And he did have dark under his eyes from an early age which I always noted to be unusual for someone so young.

This dream explains I knew – this is my Highest or Mother God dreaming – that he NEEDED HIS MOTHER.

The frustration of finding her is that she was not a real Mother – I couldn’t contact her as she didn’t EXIST – his physical Mother did not look out for him. And this was the basis of my worry, concern for Beloved the whole time. He needed looking after; he was a ‘lost boy.’ And of course I took care of him & am doing so now as he’s united to me in Spirit – forever.

I complain about the noise, the neighborhood – all the negative factors surrounding him. He didn’t have much of a chance, I was the only factor that could reach & save him spiritually, & I did. The jumping into the indoor pool at one point, ‘taking a bath’ is baptism, which means SUFFERING. Yes, I did.

And him HATING being with me at one point, but now loving it is he hated me hounding him to stop drugs, but now he loves being with me, soul to soul.

The 3 women? Jeez, could have been women mucking up his life & standing between us, confusing the issue. None of them suited him but he messed with them & used them to torture me with jealousy. It was a harrowing experience in many ways, but my love was so strong I could not stop loving him.

What is the NOISE?- Interference with the mind. The opposite of Peace, ‘Silence is golden.’

Who is the man I speak with that doesn’t care as much as I do? Symbol of men not caring – could even be the father who abused him.} {end}*

College of God & Love, Core Tenets

Death Becomes Him

12-11-23 Unusual-Gen Douglas McArthur Dream

Explains the decision Nick made to be with me instead of his drug lifestyle,

even if it meant death

Above – he hopes to see me near my place – Sad look is he didn’t speak to me for 9 months, every image of him taken at that time looks sad, forlorn – EMPTY – Look below – same time period:

Just don’t know what this could mean, can’t wait for the analysis. No I often have no idea what dreams mean until I record them & call upon Mother God.

This happens in Pearl Harbor.

The attack on Pearl Harbor happens, & Gen Douglas MacArthur makes a stirring Patriotic speech & then he DISAPPEARS. No one can find him – he’s gone, gone, gone.

The assumption on the good side being that somehow he perished at the hands of the enemy.

But I have another idea & say it,

“He’s in love with a Japanese woman who lived there & has decided NOT to fight because he might get severely injured or die, & they are so IN LOVE they can’t LIVE without one another, so that’s all it is – he’s with her!”

Logically, no one knew abut this affair or where she lives, so he’s safe for a while.

Of course when they find him he’ll be tried & executed for being a traitor so he’s in great danger.

Now I see them getting ready for his escape, out of this area. He’s in her apt & they are looking for a hair dye as he’ll make his hair brown instead of whatever it is – can’t recall – is it grey? It’s like I’m with them, I jump from being in his body to her body, so bear with me, it might sound a bit weird.

“We” are looking on a shelf of white painted small shelves in a room, maybe bathroom. We find the dye but after we apply it, the brown is also on his face. We try to remove it’ it’s hard. But we do find something that effectively scrapes off the dye, we have to rub some kind of strips of ribbed grey cloth over his face & it comes off. The hair color is not a true brown; it’s a medium-light rust color.

What he decides to do is move to CHINATOWN. The dream doesn’t specify which Chinatown. New York has one, Los Angeles has one – I used to go there all the time. San Francisco has a giant Chinatown.

Anyway, they go to Chinatown. The logic is that Caucasians or most people don’t know the difference between a Chinese or Japanese person, so in Chinatown she can blend in. As far as he goes, he’ll get a regular, normal job, & he does – as a store clerk. It’s a tiny store, I see it – he doesn’t make much money, but they are there for ten years.

One day a man comes into the store who thinks he recognizes Gen MacArthur. He asks him if he is him. But Doug gives his new name, says he is mistaken. On getting home he tells his wife they are moving – To a new Chinatown, in San Francisco. They cannot take any chances.

But alas, he is discovered, arrested, tried & convicted of treason. The sentence – execution.

We’re all there. He’s against the wall with his arms stretched out, somehow ‘nailed’ to the wall. His wife, I’m in her body right now – runs up to him & embraces him, crying,

“I can’t live without you,”

Below, me when we were dating in the apt we met. We met 2011 – He was 19, Iwas 66. Look at those legs!

And she’s sincere, I feel her feelings. But his physical state is amazing.

I’m looking at his open mouth, jaw. It’s 3 times normal size so I can see into it. It’s like he’s a corpse, a long time in the ground, & he has followed several other corpses also in the ground. There are insects there – cute round ones – busily darting from tooth to tooth, inside the cavities where teeth were. The teeth are partially rotten, I see yellowy brown colors, many gaps in the mouth where teeth were, but she doesn’t see this, to her he’s alive.

This scene ends & it’s as if he’s free to go outside, believe it or not, to get some coffee. He starts & looks back, at us in the room, like don’t we trust him? He comes back soon with the coffee or whatever he got.

And I believe the execution takes place but I don’t actually see it.

MEANING:

*{ME: Mother God, if there’s any sense to this it escapes me. I sure hope you can fathom this. The only l thing I can think of is Nick & myself, as that’s how I felt about him, & secretly, he about me. And he’s dead so the part abut being dead does apply.

MG: Who else could it be about but you & him? What is the attack, who is the enemy, why is he a traitor? Why is he executed?

It all goes back to the original story which you have spoken about hundreds of times. He got caught into the drug scene. His confreres or those on his side are his fellow drug users & dealers.

The attack is what? Here is the KEY to the dream: the CONFLICT. All his buddies are on this side, they will fight. Nick is a GENERAL which means he’s a LEADER of the druggies. Yes, he was an ICON, especially after you came along, it glorified him. Although they made fun of him, razzed him terribly, the images of him which you took made him a star. Nobody looked like him, they all saw his dick & in spite of what they said, they ADMIRED him.

He PLAYED UP to the crowd, he carried on – the life of the party. But it was fueled by Cocaine & alcohol.

Now comes a conflict FROM THE AIR! From ‘above’ could mean FROM GOD. God is calling him to quit the lifestyle & go with Rasa, do as she says, go into rehab, quit his enabler & change his destiny – otherwise he will die young…..This conflict/attack is a THREAT, either he fights with his homies/druggies/wolf pack or what? He gave LIP SERVICE to being on their side {the Patriotic speech}, then DISAPPEARED.

No one can find him, where is he?

Now you see this Japanese lady who he’s been with all along but not publicly recognized. He makes a decision & that is whose side is he on? Will he BETRAY HIS DRUGGIE WOLF PACK? Yes, to be with you.

But he cannot do this without the PENALTY OF DEATH.

Where does he escape to at first, seen as Chinatown, with his little clerk job – then planning to go later? What does it mean about dying his hair that rust color to disguise himself? In Chinatown – one of his associates finds & recognizes him. Planning to go to another Chinatown in San Francisco. How does this all translate?

After the trial & sentence, you are there, you embrace him. He is ALREADY DEAD, dead in a line of succession, all the drug addicts he knew who wanted to leave drugs but couldn’t do it without death – being condemned to die. He thought he could escape but he could not.

You saw it. Yes, your love was desperate as shown in the lady – but his was too, only he hid it.

Bottom line, he chooses to be with you & that means with God – the Angels & Saints – the Celestials, – in your dream, all Asians are Celestials, you’re one of them. He wants to be with you in Heaven rather than on earth with drug buddies. He made that move, he DISAPPEARED. Where is he means where is his Soul, his mind? Who is he thinking of? Not them, he is with you.

Chinatown is different states of Heaven, being condemned as a traitor is betraying the drug buddies, leaven them for you. And there he is, gone to them but present to you.

ME: It’s striking where he is like nailed against the wall, he’s alive, but then, he’s dead & cute round bugs are going through his teeth & jaw. I see it – I’m the only one.

MG: You saw the future, you saw the destiny or fate. You knew he couldn’t escape it, you told him many times. His jaw & teeth being rotten & missing is stupidity {teeth are wisdom or lack of} – foolishness, all the mistakes. In spite of this, you loved him. Being nailed against the wall is being helpless. He was like that because his mental, emotional state was so awful that unless he was drugged he wanted to commit suicide, but he didn’t see that, he lived in delusion. He was self medicating which often leads to his fate.

ME: What are the cute little bugs?

MG: Life goes on. There is no death. Our bodies disintegrate, become something else, food for other life, from dust we came, to dust we return, often bodies are eaten by other creatures. This is to emphasize only his body is gone – not his Eternal Life.

ME: After this vision he’s perfectly alive, excuses himself to go for coffee & comes back, didn’t run away. What is that?

MG: You were mystically married April 21, 2019, that was a break for him, he got some spiritual Power to go on for a while & he did two more years, then – Died August 14, 2022.

Dying his hair rust color, you both work on that, from grey to rust, his face also covered, which you get rid of – His new thoughts – hair being thoughts. Once you’re dead, you have no more worries unless you’re in Purgatory – but he’s with you, so he’s not worried. Cleaning his face? Face is who you are, he has a new & clean identity. His ESCAPE is from physical life. {end}

College of God & Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Soul Lifting Saving Bonanza

12-9-2023 Got 5 Souls Up – Helping MANY others!

Soul Lifting Saving Bonanza

I am with my male partner & we’re going to an extended, comprehensive restaurant. There are 2 doors to go through with a large space in between, & we’re walking as if we weren’t together – randomly just appearing at the same time, he several feet from me & he has never walked into a place with me properly. I feel it’s time for him to do the right thing & I say,

“The man is supposed to take the woman into the restaurant.”

And so, he takes my hand, he to the right & says,

“I was trying to hide my tattoo.”

He’s wearing a cotton short-sleeved slightly wrinkled shirt which the sleeves end just past the shoulder, & on his left arm just above the elbow is a tattoo medium blue color – don’t know of what.

It doesn’t make sense, as holding my hand doesn’t change anything, but this is a dream, all symbols.

{ME: Mother God, OK, I’m certain this is Nick as this is exactly how he treated me. What does it mean, “it’s time to do the right thing?” He’s dead now so how does it make sense?*

MG: It is often after death that we learn what we did wrong. Our bodies blind us; the things of the world lead us astray. He was indeed blinded & confused by the world, afraid of it, afraid of people’s opinions, & so he almost never acknowledged you in pubic {out of one time he did acknowledge you as his girl friend or that he loved you, there were ten times he did things to deny that.}. The things he did to you to hide the fact that he loved you were extreme & extremely hurtful.

Now human life is gone. People cannot criticize him, peers cannot ridicule him. He can acknowledge you without fear, so do it, you are saying, & he does.

You are suggesting he do the right thing, but also demanding it because without this UNION of hearts & souls – HE cannot enter into the PORTAL of helping Souls Ascend from Purgatory. It would be IMPOSSIBLE for Nick to reach Souls in Purgatory BY HIMSELF as that is not the protocol – he has to work with a living person to do so –most ascended souls must do it that way {the Holy Virgin doesn’t need this requirement, neither does Jesus.}

ME: The other symbols: Two doors with a hallway between, a foyer. His light blue cotton shirt with short sleeves, his TATTOO in particular, which he was trying to HIDE.

MG: Tattoos are famous for saying ‘Mom’ or some girl they love. He is trying to hide the fact that you are his woman & that you are old enough to be his Mother – he did see you as Mom & loved you for it.

The two doors, with foyer: It’s not easy to get into this PORTAL. It’s another world, & you are of two worlds. He has to go through one door to join with you. There’s a SPACE where you meet, this is the point where he TAKES YOUR HAND because he must have it, or he can’t pass the second door! – the door into Purgatory.

His shirt? Light blue is the color of the sky, of Heaven. His tattoo is NO LONGER COVERED, lol. He cannot, nor does he want to hide the fact that he loves you.}*

When we get in it gets complicated.

This is some sort of emporium that includes female domination along with the food. They have waitresses for food & servers who do domination for a price. I imagine they have private rooms for this.

Somehow, as I’m sitting at this counter – just a small part of this large place, a female dominator sits to the left of me, past the corner of the bar, {she’s about 8’ away from me to the left} & is writing down my ‘order’ for ‘breast domination.’

I am kind of confused by the whole thing. There are a number of folks sitting to my right {about 10’} in regular seats, close together, a row of them, all dressed in white except for one man, Ernest Borgnine, who’s dressed in dark colors.

This ‘domination server’ to my left is writing on a pad, what my requests are. I say out loud {you can hear her or I can, but everyone, especially the row to my right, can hear me},

“Breast domination, what do I want? Well, what I am doing is I work for a magazine. I will write an article about the session for them & they will pay me.”

Ernest Borgnine is the only one who reacts – he CHUCKLES.

At this, the server disappears because my statement somehow nullifies the request. I see our session as some sort of food dish, now on a shelf in the middle behind the counter. It has 2 parts, one on top seems like pink shredded coconut, the bottom some sort of ice cream, but only half of what was there remains & it’s kind of ‘wilted.’ I pick it up, examine it & take it somewhere.

*{ME: This was tricky but I think I got it. It concerns my forfeit of recognition as the origin of female body building – they {Arnold/Weider} wrote me out of it. This recently came to my attention via Lisa Lyon’s Ascension.}Let’s take the symbols one step at a time. First, this ‘server’ is taking my ‘order’ for ‘breast domination.’

Breasts represent LOVE. A session is something you do – usually paid – to give PLEASURE or satisfaction to a person. Sex therapy, domination therapy are both emotional nourishment. By me being recognized as the Foundress, this would satisfy my emotions, but it’s based on the lower self, the ego or human need for love. So the server, within this portal or restaurant that serves souls, is taking my order of what do I want concerning recognition, so that I can feel love?

My answer NULLIFIES the session because I repudiated my need for universal recognition & specifically said, in my act of the will,

“I do this for the Souls in Purgatory. I give up my desire for this recognition on their behalf.

The symbol here of I will write an article & the magazine will pay me is that what I write is enough. I have & will continue to state the facts, seeking nothing else from anyone, that is all the ‘payment’ or compensation I need. Once the server hears that, she GOES AWAY.

Ernest Borgnine chuckles. This is interesting. I compare it to Marty which won 4 Academy Awards for 1955 – the message within it. Let Mother God explain.

MG: OK, Marty was an average guy, maybe ‘ugly’ to some. He liked a plain girl, his friends made fun of her, calling her ‘a dog.’ They were both lonely & she sat expecting, hoping he’d call, he sat alone with no one because his friends made fun of her. Finally he cries to his Mom who was praising him, “Mom, I’m ugly!’ And goes & calls the girl. {I’m recalling this from memory of many years ago.} The question is, why should an ugly guy pass over a plain girl? Why does he deserve or wait for a beautiful one? He should not. Take what he can get. How does this appy to your repudiation of fame for the origin?

It’s about STATUS & reality. PRIDE makes every man, no matter how he looks, desire a BEAUTIFUL woman. Somehow his inner qualities should make him a 10 when he’s really a 5, but a woman has to be a 10 by appearance, her insides don’t matter, at least, not to the world. So because of pride & a sense of ‘I DESERVE THIS a man demands beauty.

And so, in your PRIDE you wish for respect, recognition, kudos or admiration, for rightfully being the one who brought forth, concocted the idea of females lifting weights, & you did it through the media.. But it was taken away from you by the powers that be – the Arnold/Weider body building industry.

This hurts your PRIDE, it’s not fair, & it deprives you of the kudos – love – admiration you would get if you were honored. So what you have given up is your pride & your need for love from the public – as the server is ready to give you the love – you say, you don’t need it, & that ends the planned session.

Marty is a Soul in Purgatory. He chuckles by recognition of what you did is what Marty did,

“I don’t deserve the love of a beautiful woman; I’m going for this plain girl.”

So you also take what you can get – which is just stating your case, as you have, & leave it at that.

This row of people is also symbolic. The ones all dressed in white might be ready to ascend soon. This one isn’t, he’s still partially dark, which is also like saying,

“I’m not so great I deserve heaven yet.”

And later when you look at the food or nourishment representative of the ‘session’ or getting this love, it’s like shredded pink coconut on top, bottom some sort of ice cream, now half gone & wilted,& you take it somewhere.

This food is a DESSERT, it’s not something one needs, it’s extra or luxury food. And you rethink how important is this recognition? You did what you did for the sake of female empowerment, & it was accomplished. Through this body building scheme women got freed up to develop their muscles, to be fit, more muscular, more athletic & aggressive. That’s what you did it for & it happened. The body building world never mentions that because they have no idea why God made you do it & they just don’t understand it’s result. They don’t see the forest for the trees – you do. Women’s image was changed, the way they look at themselves was changed, you succeeded, you don’t NEED all this recognition & pubic avowal “She’s the one.”

And here it is – portrayed within this RESTAURANT which is a portal you & Nick entered/presented to help Souls. Here is your sacrifice, it worked, it gave Grace to Poor Souls! You will see the great results in the Souls, all that is happening with them here!

My mate or husband I now see looking different & wearing different clothes. He’s tall, very thin {before he wasn’t this tall or thin}, wearing a darkish hat, strong eyebrows {hair is dark} a dark winter open coat under which might be white, & he is CARRYING sort of plain dark bowls filled with large amounts of delicious food, most notably FRENCH FRIES with cherries on top {wtf?} which I love, & I’m thinking,

“So what if that server cancelled our ‘breast domination’ session. Now hubby & I will be ALONE, much more relaxed, cozy, just the 2 of us, & we can ENJOY all this wonderful food he’s collected! Had she been with us it would have invaded our privacy.”

*{ME: This is very telling also. Look at all the spiritual food Nick gained FOR US! With cherries on top is like ‘icing on the cake,’ yes, it’s French Fries, a favorite for many of us & the cherries represent extra added Graces or Joys.

Us being alone, without that recognition or love I could have gained – is being alone with God, in God’s Kingdom, where true happiness lies. The interference of THE WORLD would have disturbed this inner peace, this interior intimacy & spiritual joy. ‘The Kingdoms of the world & THEIR GLORY applies here. Recognition is GLORY which as explained, was forfeited, but something greater was gained!}*

Then I pass back into a room where people are ‘dining’ only they aren’t dining, they are making BEDS to sleep in – all women, many of them old, over 60. They tell me all the spots are taken – I already knew that, I was just looking. There are two rows of beds with a 5’walk between, right up to each other, two beds next to each other in each space. One I notice is at the end, one lady with white hair looks to be about 70 is fixing her bed, white sheets, light blue cover, & the lady next to her is fixing hers—these beds are joined, no space between, like my twin beds that make on King sized bed. The feeling is,

“Full service restaurant, full house, fully occupied, this place is in demand, a success”

So they provide not only food & domination, but sleeping quarters!

{SLEEPING QUARTERS, BEDS: Lol. In this portal or within this Grace, we have given a good number of souls REST as in ‘Rest in Peace.’ Notice they are all women, many old, old because most people die when they’re old, these are all dead. This happened right after your renunciation so perhaps it extended to these gals also.}

So I leave this area & I see 5 black girls {souls not race} dancing about, carrying on. They all have on the same type slinky dresses, made of soft material with a honeycomb design pattern, – colored gold. The dresses are form fitting, slightly different with each one, one I notice her hemline goes partly to the calf, front a bit higher, it isn’t even. As they dance about they also complain about the servers & I agree, I was not pleased with mine either.

*{WITHOUT A DOUBT, THESE ARE SOULS THAT HAVE ASCENDED! I DID SAY 4 Masses yesterday, did not wiggle out of the second two, & here we see magnificent results.

The GOLD, the dancing & reference to honeycomb proves it. Gold is their wedding gowns, honeycomb is not only where they keep their sweet honey, but they also house larvae which are fed & then emerge. They are souls that got fed & emerged from darkness into Heaven. And they are DANCING WITH JOY!}*

I then go to a room I think hubby is in, but I see in the dim light {this room is like a large closet} reclining on a chaise lounge a dark black man. I can hardly see him as his skin is so dark & the room is dark, but when I do I’m slightly startled & excuse myself & back out.

I surmised that this man was a PIMP waiting for those 5 females.

*{ME: Mother God, what is this pimp doing in our portal? Can a demon be here hoping to snatch those 5 females into Hell? He being in a room so small it’s a closet, & it’s dark, is that it’s a hidden thing or secret.

MG: It’s only a symbol, but this is also indicative of how souls close themselves in away from God, they shut themselves up, that is a Hell. God does not make people go to Hell, they do it to themselves, & this is an example.

This says that these 5 females could have been snatched into Hell, but they weren’t. The Grace of God saved them.

Then I’m outside working hard with a man but enjoying it. Its harvest time & we are over a field of straw with a white substance all over it. We must somehow harvest this & put it somewhere, not sure where.

When we get done – it took hours – I ask my mate,

“Didn’t you do some wheat harvesting for farmer X last year, & do you have to do it again? I’ll help.”

Farmer X also has a field of wheat that must be cut down & stored. Not sure if we go there.

Then I see my mate is doing something like rolling a machine or something over the ground & he comes to a corner where he stumbles onto a bump.

I uncover it & see things I put there, a very old hand spade, the oldest I have, & an off-white rock. I say I put them there & hope he isn’t inconvenienced by it.

*{THIS IS:

Matthew 9:37-38 New Living Translation (NLT)
He said to his disciples, “The harvest is great, but the workers are few. So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send more workers into his fields.”

*{MG: You & Nick are in the fields now, harvesting or bringing souls to God, besides going to Purgatory. Doesn’t give details.

The last scene – an old hand spade & an off-white rock you left, Nick stumbles onto it while working. To be analyzed later.}*

{end}

College of God & Love, Core Tenets

2 Missed Chances 2 Help Souls

Mukked up on Purgatory 12-8-23

Two missed chances to help Souls

I fear this might refer to Purgatory so I must write it down, although I’m in a hurry to finish editing my book on the subject, & the dreams being recorded/analyzed does slow me down. However, here goes:

At first, I’m doing something with delinquents, the guys I knew downtown, the locals, one of which was ‘JO’. He was tall & I was sort of attracted to him for sex although he was a creep. {suspect right away this to be my spiritual husband Nick, lol.}

We are walking about the street, what are we doing? Not sure, just killing time, entertaining ourselves.

One of the guys tells me he’d like to box with me, put up my dukes. I do like fighting – wrestling & boxing – so I go along with it, & I know I’m good at it too. But when we start he does a couple illegal things, can’t recall them both, but once thing is he starts BITING my wrists & hands!

I protest,

“What is this, a Tyson deal?”

{Tyson famously was biting his opponent’s ear.}

I have soft dark cuffs on my wrists, the kind I wear when working on the computer for hours to keep my right wrist from stress of the table.

We goof around, mess around, time to go home. My house is just like this but on a hill. I left some of my belongings with the people – maybe out of charity or gifts, & now I fear, did I accidentally leave my keys behind in a small cloth purse I might have left there? But thank God, I see I have the purse & attached to it are my keys, attached by those metal key holders, I’m SO RELIEVED.

There is a second trip. I must WALK back home. I walk a while on a road I think is OK. It gets more & more ‘country-fied.’ Then I turn a corner & the road, which was wide, is suddenly much narrower, like half what it was, & it has long soft green branches from bushes on either side bending into the road, completely covering it! I forgot to say, it snowed & snow is everywhere, including the road, but the branches have remained green like summer. {I also SENSE that possibly, past those green branches, the road might diminish more & it turns into wilderness – no road at all.} This CANNOT be the right road because a car wouldn’t be able to get through & my road always has access for cars. So back I go wherever I walked from.

Next, I try another road. This one seems really good. At first, it looks exactly like the way my regular road home is – that road I see so many times in my dreams, over a large hill – sometimes that road leads home but sometimes it’s just somewhere I MUST GO & then back track & go home. Again, there is snow everywhere, including the road. I know this road by the sign posts – the houses I pass by every time, on the left, some areas are wooded, etc. It has VARIATIONS but it’s the same familiar road, a road that changes, yet is the RIGHT ROAD.

This time I walk a LONG TIME. And then alas, I come to the END because in front of me, the road stops & there’s a LARGE QUIET BODY OF WATER, on the other side, a woods! And to the right of this dead end is a very old house – forgotten – made of white shingles that are worn with age – not sure if anyone lives there. I have the feeling that no one every comes here, even if someone is living in it, they are in solitude. And I have walked so long, might not be able to get home easily. If someone lives in this place would they give me shelter for the night? It is impossible to go on, not sure if I can get back today, it was a walk of hours. {end}

MEANING:

*{ME: Speaking of lost, Mother God, I am. Can’t think definitely what this means except maybe the first one. That could refer to my being with the clients of Nick, who’s worked with me before on reaching Purgatory – so many drug addicted who passed.

There’s one who wants to play-fight but he ends up doing illegal things including biting my wrists & hands. I have on cuffs, which mean protection. And biting my hands is probably,

‘Biting the hand that feeds him.’

One of Nicks’ people is ungrateful for what I do for him, he hurts me. So I cannot help him at this time.

But I do ‘get home,’ I retained my keys, which means I succeeded, so I must have helped someone.

But the next two trips the scenery is covered with SNOW, including the road, & snow I believe means DECEPTION. It’s a tricky symbol, but snow SILENCES everything, it COVERS all things, so you can’t see what’s underneath. It can cover everything overnight & you wake up & can’t see anything it’s on. So snow SILENCES & COVERS – it hides – it can deceive.

Here I was somehow deceived that I was going right – thinking – doing – acting right, but I was WRONG.

What was I wrong about? What were my mistakes? I guess I failed at helping any more souls in Purgatory.

MOTHER GOD: If you consider what your schedule was part of the night you listened to your ‘inner voice’ but in doing so, at the end of the night, you realized you had not said your Masses, the one you always say, plus the extra that is a gift to them for Christmas.

Those two roads, then, are the Masses you MISSED SAYING. Again, you thought it was alright, you felt you could make up for them the next day, today. You’ve said 2 Masses now, let’s see if you’ll make up the other 2 or wiggle out of it, lol.

The good part is you did reach Nick’s friends & did some good.

ME: What are those green branches that bend over the road from both sides & cover it & beyond that, I fear the road ends, & then only wilderness?

MG: The leaves mean ‘victory’ but you are surrounded by snow. You are being deceived that it’s alright not to say a Mass.

ME: And the second journey that dead ends, with the lake & very old house of solitude on the right? I have walked a long way, am wondering if there be any shelter there – Can’t go on, long way back.

MG: That’s the Christmas Mass you did not say. Can’t find shelter is someone you missed helping. They are in solitude, no one is reaching them – you sense the feeling of abandonment. The body of water before you is the Grace this soul could have gotten, but did not. You are feeling what the soul feels, all alone, walked or struggled a long while, need shelter, comfort, love, but is it forthcoming? – Uncertainty. The soul WAITS.

PS Immediately upon hearing this analysis of course I felt remorse & said those two Masses. I hope God reveals to me tonight if I reached that poor soul in the lonely, forgotten house!} {end}*

College of the Gender War, Core Tenets

the Gender Conflict

The Gender War – We are Leaders – How do we Defeat Patriarchs? 12-5-23

From William Bond:

We have to think how we can sell the concept of matriarchy in a way that appeals to all people. It should in theory appeal to women but I think they are afraid of matriarchy. I know feminists do fear a backlash against women if they go too far and I suppose they think that the concept of women ruling the world will cause a backlash. This is probably why the women at Matriarchal Studies try to claim that matriarchy is only about equality.

So I think women would love to rule the world, but they think if they try to do this, men will get upset and use violence against women to assert control over women once again. Which suggests to me that women do think that equality with men is as much as they can achieve and if they attempt to go further than this, it will end up in disaster. So for this reason we cannot just sell matriarchy to only women, we have to sell matriarchy to both men and women because women will have more confidence in matriarchy if they are supported by men.

Matriarchy can appeal to men because Patriarchy doesn’t benefit the majority of men. We have had many men who have wrote about the insanity of warfare and that we live in a very unequal world. So I think we can sell matriarchy as a solution to both warfare and inequality. That is providing that female leaders are willing to act and behave like women and not try to behave like men as we see with many modern female politicians. william

From Rasa Von Werder:

William, We cannot DESCEND to their level when we are the main ones telling the TRUTH, the truth, & nothing but the truth. It isn’t about lowering ourselves, our standards, our beliefs. If the Lighthouse dims its Light because some people are blinded by it, what will the boats steer to?

No, we are the light on the shore. We are the fire on the mountain top, the way St. Patrick signaled his new POV, challenging the Chieftains {in case you didn’t know, they used fires to signal events, holidays, the right to rule – many things. They were signals.} Being AFRAID & giving in to the lower thoughts is not the answer. This IS a WAR. - A WAR OF IDEAS. Will we allow them to win?

Shyt, if we fold up, we are the Commander in Chief, the Generals, what will the lower officers & privates do? No one to lead them!

We are the LEADERS! One of the characteristics of a leader is COURAGE. This courage galvanizes the fearful, inspires them to move forward against an enemy that can hurt or kill. Sometimes the leaders are so Charismatic they will inspire the troops to attack against all odds. {Not talking about hypnosis the tyrants use, talking about courage.} Look at Napoleon & Alexander the Great. I’m not condoning or excusing their crimes, just talking about how they spurred on people.

Recently you spoke abut positive thinking, that one must BELIEVE in order to succeed. What has happened to your FAITH? Have you LOST IT?

We fight not against the physical, but against spiritual entities in high places {St. Paul’s very famous idea.} We fight with SPIRITUAL WEAPONS. He explains, the Helmet of Salvation, the Sword of the Spirit, the feet shod in Peace, the Girdle of Righteousness & the SHIELD OF FAITH.

OK, so if we, the leaders, decide to compromise? This article I just saw, indicates today’s Churches are confused about the Gospel of Christ – which means preaching the Cross, Poverty, do unto others, love others as yourself – all of that. Today’s world DOESN’T LIKE IT they say! so let’s give them FOOD – MUSIC & most of all PROSPERITY PREACING, preach being positive will bring results such as MONEY. Preach if you love God, God will give you MONEY! BLESSINGS ARE MONEY! A fine house, car, good mate, healthy children, preach all that will come to you if you love God – then they will COME TO CHURCH!

But this gospel is the Gospel of Satan! He said, ‘I will give you all the kingdoms of the world & their glory if you will bow down & worship me!”
And you are suggesting compromise of our ideas, the very ideas that have built our foundation – which for you is ‘men have done a terrible job of ruling our world, they are not suitable to lead, step aside & let women take their place. etc.’

For me, it’s ‘Women are superior to men by nature – God made them that way. Men cannot, should not rule the family or world as they destroy what they control; it is not natural for them to lead. etc.”

On the side of Christianity as I said, the Cross is what Jesus taught, & Poverty is the Cross. The FOCUS on Prosperity is the Gospel of Satan. As far as Matriarchy, Matriarchy is NOT equality of women with men. We cannot preach this as then we become IRRELEVANT. We dismiss our cause, our unique foundation & agenda. We then stand for nothing; we simply disappear among the out-dated feminists. Feminists will be like the Wright Brothers 200 years from now, people will know they had to start somewhere, so there they started. And what they fought for was not equality with men – I’m sure many believed in superiority – they preached for equality UNDER THE LAW – a big difference-the right to vote, to get jobs, etc. You never cite that difference.

So let’s get back to the teaching of St. Paul. What do we fight with? Truth, righteousness & the truth is what we three have been saying all along from the beginning & we cannot deviate from it or else we sink into the mire of where all the other don’t-knows are. Those who hunger for the truth – who will they then follow? - The femdom world? I just had a man write me today talking about a femdom ‘Goddess’ who wants to start a Gynarchy community. He calls her Viola Voltairine. Curious to see if this had any validity, I looked her up & saw this:

“And through Ms. Lane, I’ve met Goddess Viola Voltairine. A slave owner of two men, seeking to create her own harem of male servants. She also revels in female sexual sadistry. A self-proclaimed vampire, she cuts and feeds on her favorite boy Drum’s blood regularly.”

OK this is a crock of shyt. It’s an invention to MAKE MONEY from submissives. We understand this; we know it’s not REAL in creating Matriarchy. It is not part of our agenda, POV or religion; this is a sideline for those who want/need to use the adult trade to make money.

OK then is this who they follow if we disappear by preaching a lower truth?

You speak of FEAR – women’s fear. They fear more than VIOLENCE. They fear the lack of support from men. Support is paramount. If a woman has children, working & taking care of them is extremely difficult – she needs help. Even ordinary life is more tolerable with the help of a partner.

Your letter, now that I reread it, is so sissy-ish it makes me want to vomit.

If this is WAR – & it is – it’s like saying let’s back up a step. Give the enemy more room, more freedom, let him have what he wants to some degree. We can’t afford to have him hurt us or kill us, let’s give in.

Some leader you are!

Instead of what you say we must have FAITH that God WILL PREVAIL & Matriarchy will happen as God intended, just let us do what we can, no compromise.

You said: “This is probably why the women at Matriarchal Studies try to claim that matriarchy is only about equality.”

The reason these women say what they say & pretend what they pretend is because academia is still under the power of patriarchy. They are not allowed to teach/preach, female superiority which is the rule in Matriarchy. If they do they will be discredited & maybe lose their jobs – their work trashed or discredited the way they tried with Marija Gimbutas.

From William:

Rasa, when I wrote about men supporting women. I didn’t mean that men take any leadership position. Men can support women as bodyguards and as workers for the matriarchal cause. In many ways men can be more aware of what a terrible job men do of ruling the world, than women. Too many women are willing to make excuses for men’s behavior. I don’t see matriarchy v patriarchy as a women v men fight. Many women support patriarchy and I’m sure many men will support matriarchy. William

From Rasa: William,

All I can think of in answer is in Africa there are communities of women that broke off from men. They supported themselves; they found a way, some, by selling jewelry they created to tourists. I’m not sure exactly what they did in all these sisterhoods, but they not only survived they thrived compared to what they had before, & did not suffer the mistreatment & oppression previously. The men were seething with rage & jealousy – their communities without women went downhill, they become impoverished & lacked all the benefits of female slavery. For a while they attacked & interfered with the women but eventually slowed down on that, it was no use.

In time, males were allowed to return but only in subordinate positions, to do menial work. Not many men – just a few.

We definitely see this issue from two similar but different positions. Mine is more extreme pro women. You want the men to be involved in everything it seems. I don’t. I don’t trust their presence at all. They want to get their foot in the door & after they do they take more & more away from women. Their ultimate aim once again, is to control us, & it’s like the demons getting in – we know their agenda.

My POV comes from experience. I’ve lived with men starting out ever-so kind, nice, supportive, with flattery, gifts, favors – whatever they can do to get in {false front being shown}. And then after a while, they take more & more good away & bring more & more evil into the picture. This happened with most, not all my relationships. The exceptions were as I described in my life story, ‘St. Esquire’ & Richard Von Werder, my second husband. But I can’t think of any other supportive & loving relationships men gave me, it always ended up bad. And when I say bad I mean horrid – Because they are not SINCERE in their ‘love’ – it’s human desire.

And besides that, they DON’T CARE ABOUT CHILDREN in general. There are exceptions, George Muller & Rev Spurgeon & a few others. But these are rare. Why did we have legions of children IN THE STREETS in the 1800′s? Charles Dickens writes about the work houses & orphanages. These orphans were seen as VERMIN by the regular folk, as they had to beg & steal to survive. They were dirty, ignorant, sometimes ill & had no charm or manners to win folks to their favor. Why all these kids in the street, for lack of WHAT?

For lack of MATRIARCHY. Men want to follow THEIR NATURE – taking care of children is not part of it. So they obey their glands & when women get pregnant, they can whistle Dixie for support – he got his kicks – good bye Cecilia. Women are reduced to beggars– there is no safety net for men’s actions, what can a pregnant woman or one with babies do for support in those days?

You care too much about the side of men, who do not deserve your concerns. Granted there are some good ones, but only a minority. I’m thinking in general terms. You’re seeing this PERSONALLY like your own good self helping women. Think of all those who don’t give a shyt.

The Patriarchal system is designed for men to get all the privileges & women few options, keeping them in slavery. This is changing for the better but you’re slow to see women’s plight. You’re looking at men with rose colored glasses – across the board THEY ARE THE ENEMY & we are sleeping with him.

In spite of all your teachings, you are a man so you are on the side of men – To some degree, to a degree that makes me uncomfortable.

No matter what I say, you CAN’T see my POV. You can’t perceive why women would want to have a place to GET AWAY from men entirely, to have a SAFE SPACE where men aren’t welcome. Consider the MEN’S CLUBS in England & elsewhere, where the man could get away from wife & family, be LEFT ALONE, eat, sleep, gamble – not sure what else was provided. In some places, just sit, read or chat. But they were left alone without interference from women.

Women want the same thing – I certainly do. I have not had a REAL girl friend since High School. No one I can rely on or trust. Because once women reach a certain age & status in society, they are considered PROPERTY OF MEN. Single women are not allowed into married people’s company. You can’t understand all of this, there is so much you DO NOT UNDERSTAND re the plight of women & their needs. Rasa

Pete Jackson says:

Good evening, Rasa and William. Oy vey, there’s a lot to unpack here. I am admittedly a bit out of my depth so I don’t think I really have much of substance to add here. But here goes anyway:

I will note that there is a difference between compromising one’s strategy versus compromising one’s principles. The former may be permissible, while the latter is not. And it’s a very fine line indeed.

About faith, I am the first to admit that mine is not always nearly as strong as it should be. I can even be a Doubting Thomas at times. It’s kinda human nature, I guess. And I reflexively tend to approach the issues from a more secular and social perspective by default.

And of course, William and I are men, and thus we will unfortunately always be at least a little a bit biased towards the male POV, even if unconsciously. It’s in our DNA. Like William, I personally tend to prefer more integration over gender separatism for the most part. Though I think there is something to say for both perspectives IMHO. And especially with me, please take what I say with at least a grain of salt, if not a whole pound.

We may not always agree on everything, but at least we all agree on the very basics overall.

Beyond that, I don’t think I have much else to add here. Best wishes, Pete

Rasa says:

OK thanks Pete. What this to me has brought out is that there is a conflict between the view of William & myself which will never change. So to quell my frustration I just have to accept it, not let it bother me. It will be impossible for us to convince the other, we just have to let it go. And why he can’t understand what I am saying is beyond me. I DID NOT say women & men have to be separate at all times in all ways, all of them. I said women NEED a PLACE/PLACES were they can be separate. Is that not a difference?

Patriarchs are not separate from women AT ALL TIMES, in all ways, in all places. But they have places to go to be separate. Muslims have their Temples. Italians & other nationalities have ‘men’s clubs,’ they are all over the place. They also have Shriners, Freemasons & the like. Even my little town has one. I’ve seen so many movies where men speak of & go to ‘their club’. The club is a men’s hotel – they can sleep there if they wish. Where is the equivalent of this for women?

But for women, it’s even more necessary because they not only need separate space to go to for themselves, the space must also receive their CHILDREN. This is BEYOND battered women’s shelters. That is what my NEW ORDER will address & I hope, provide.

William & yourself don’t dwell upon such things as you never had to. I had to. I had a child & I was alone. No family, nothing. I could have used a safe space that provided amenities for her & me apart from our own residence. A ‘hotel’ or ‘women’s club’ where you could safely leave your child/children where they would be provided for by women, while you work shop or do something else. Women need this DESPERATELY. Rasa

Paul described the spiritual battle in his letter to the Corinthians

“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war
according to the flesh. For the weapons of our
warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for
pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments
and every high thing that exalts itself against
the knowledge of God, bringing every thought
into captivity to the obedience of Christ,” – Paul (2 Cor 10:3-5)

As we are fighting a spiritual war, the weapons we use are not physical weapons. Our mission objective is not to take prisoners or to conquer cities. Our true target is to capture the hearts of the people, to lead them to Christ, to teach them to obey him.

But sometimes, no matter how much effort we put in our preaching, we often find it difficult to reach to our friends. No matter how hard we try, we fail to capture their hearts.

As the result many churches come up with many methods to preach the gospel. But often we do not receive the result that we want. It looks as if we are attacking a stronghold that will we can never overcome.

Perhaps we rely too much on our own wisdom and strategies and we fail to utilize the spiritual weapons of the apostles.

The Power Of God And Its Role In Spiritual Warfare

When Paul encountered a similar problem, how did he overcome it?

Often we are unsure how to win the hearts of people. The modern church advocate that that traditional services can no longer attract people. They feel that old stories can never move new people. So they plan countless ways to reach out and move people.

As we see this, sometimes we wonder, “Shall I continue to talk about Jesus and the cross?” “Should we find another way?” That is how most Christians approach their spiritual battle.

Embodiment of God

A presentation of the University of Mother God Church

Jesus brings Grace of Sufferings

Jesus brings me sufferings from his Grace

12-26-23 “Husband Visit” – Nick appears in the form of my good husband Richard.

At one point I get out & walk around. I look at the house & see a man in it, who does not come out. He’s wearing a white top. I just relax & lie down in the leaves on my back & rest, then I return to the truck.

At some point rich disappears & I find him in a sort of ‘room’ inside the truck! Behind a large tire or something, looking sort of not sure how to describe it. Not sheepish, just wanted to be alone for a minute. I ask him what he was doing & it’s nothing, just like hands in his pocket.

And again we just sit next to each other. Funny thing is he’[s to my right, yet he’s the driver who brought the vehicle here,.

Then I’m outside the truck & the man in the house comes over. He’s short & thin, very humble & reminds me of this Podcaster called Paul Wallis. I say to him,

“Thank you for allowing us to park here & enjoy ourselves.”

He’s shy with me & says something nice & then kisses my hand. This is done with great humility & respect.

Then start THE BEARS.

First black ones appear – a big & small one with white markings by their throats – in front of us. At first we start to run but inner voice says be still, they will not attack.

Then a bear off to the right, beige. We don’t run.

Then another from the left, grey. We don’t run.

Was there one more? At least 3 but we are told to just stay calm, they will not pursue us. Running might bring out their chase instinct.

MEANING:

I sense after thinking, Paul Wallis represents Our Lord. He did a Podcast about Jesus & his rise from the dead – we agree he had passed out on the Cross, was revived, & went to India where he lived to 81. I wrote an article called “Paul takes Jesus off the Cross.”

OK, this is a message from Jesus.

The bears at the end signify sufferings.

The private property, which Jesus gives myself & husband {Nick} access to enjoy, is his love. The golden leaves prove it – gold is love, leaves are success.

He is here saying when He kisses my hand {after I thank him}

“The next several things you will suffer come from my Grace.”

I took issue with Jesus kissing my hand & my inner voice said,

“He kisses your hand the way he washed the feet of the Apostles.”

This is a type of warning not to ‘run’ or try to escape these sufferings, just bear them & it will be fine.

Indeed it started that very night. My left arm began to hurt so much it took my breath away. My right arm hurt also, not as much. Had trouble sleeping. This is the big & little black bears.

The next night, last night was another bear or bears. The left side of my neck hurt, then my head, my whole left side of my body – {it was NOT heart related.} I also felt some sort of an ‘anxiety attack’. I couldn’t sleep most of the night.

Not sure there will be another bear or bears, but whatever it is I know it’s from God. It’s to do penance for the Souls in Purgatory, pretty sure. I was so exhausted I couldn’t say the Masses, but will make up for that.

What has Nick to do with this coming to me in the white pickup truck? Why does he sit with me & why is he hiding in that room for a bit?

Probably because he’s with me, in my domain or Soul arena, so he’s suffering with me. Him hiding for a while could be reluctance to suffer, escape it, but it’s inevitable, as being with me is some of his Purgatory.

The truck again, it’s from God, his being with me. Why the forest, woods all around, green?

Its life, & it’s all a success, all the leaves of the trees mean success. When God is in the middle of your heart & life, life is Sacred. {end}

James Brown Ascends after 17 Years!

12-21-23 Party-James Brown Ascends!

Born: May 3, 1933 – Died Dec 25, 2006 – Ascended Dec 21, 2023 – 17 years in Purgatory

It begins with 2 guys who’re trying to become entertainers. They are just beginning – so desperate they come up to myself & some friends saying,

“Would you like to see us perform?”

We go & it’s them 2 with a small band behind. They are trying out their act. Both stand there with their arms crossed over their chests for some sort of effect, both have on white t-shirts with long sleeves.

NO ONE ELSE CAME TO SEE THEM.

Can’t recall what song they’re doing – not bad or good, just OK. I try to figure how I can help. We need DRAMA.

What do we do next? Can’t recall.

I walk a bit down an open alley, not a street for cars, pleasant, lots of cement, some wild green vines. No one pays attention or looks at me.

Then inside I’m cooking something & there seems to be a man friend around but it gets so vague I don’t even know what.

How I looked then I dated him – when we met in 1967 I was 22, he was 34 – By 1970 it ended, he was so cruel I couldn’t take it any more.

So we as a group are doing, doing, doing & then who do we invite? It’s so strange, so vague, but we think of what celebrity can we invite? And someone says ‘Jim Brown,’ the football star, is in town.

I mutter something about I knew him but ………Then I say,

“Find out where he’s staying – we’ll invite him, after all, I KNEW him, he might accept, & he IS a celebrity!”

But we don’t know WHICH hotel!

Then the thin young black man to my left – gives us the name – Something like ‘Dalletgreen?’ but he knew, & I say,

“Of course, you’d know where your own people are.” Meaning because he’s black, they know.

OK so the letter is sent & we GET A LETTER BACK!

It’s a nice letter. He tells us he’s NOT in New York – where we are right now – in the city. He says, more or less like this,

“I am in FLORIDA, retired.” {So I can’t make it to your party} – If only I could recall all the words, but I can’t.

He speaks of vaguely of moving there, being finished with the hard life. It’s polite. And the fact that he, a celebrity, wrote us this letter seems to be a BIG DEAL. He could have IGNORED us!

OK he could not come, but this letter comforts us!

Amazingly, this man hurt me but I still cared! I wanted him at our party after all. It’s not Jim Brown, its James. {end}

MEANING:

*{ME: I will need help, Mother God, especially at the beginning.

There are 2 guys so desperate to entertain no one wants to see them but me & my friends – The stuff about the arrow – Trying to get drama.

Then I am at an old house in Pacific Palisades, then it’s by the old Post Office, trying to find a place to park my car, then a lonely alley, cement, wild vines, no one sees or notices me, it’s like alone & isolated, abandoned. Then am I cooking but what & for whom?

Or it could show DEFIANCE. Because nobody wants him/them, they’re saying ‘I don’t care,’ like those that are ostracized or overlooked, shunned by all, might tell you they don’t give a hoot. It’s an ATTITUDE.

This person/s starts out that way- it could represent James Brown. After all, he was deserted by his Mother at an early age – they say he was bitter. She came to see him after he became a star – she called him her baby, but he told her

“I’m not your baby.”

His Dad gave him over to a good lady who ran a restaurant / entertainment center / bordello. But here he thrived & learned to make money by dancing for soldiers, a little tot. That’s why he was such a great dancer – he danced, they threw coins, he made a living.

This house represents lack of roots, security & support. That’s how James felt when he was little, that’s how souls in Purgatory feel.

Now the Post Office, which means ‘it’s a message.’

No one NOTICES YOU. The repair man there is stooping down fixing a car. You want to know where to park your car to keep it safe. The car is your vehicle to Purgatory – You want to be able to minister to them.

Now you walk this forlorn alley, no people, no one there, you are alone – Cement & wild vines. No houses with windows glowing light & warmth, cold cement, lacking humanity – Vines growing wild is no one is tending or nourishing what’s here.

This is also Purgatory, alone, forgotten, abandoned, no one notices them or thinks about them.

You cooking is preparing nourishment for the souls – the Holy Mass. Who the benefits go to, you don’t know.

That’s the PREAMBLE or set up for what’s next – the party which says ‘Hey, we succeeded in reaching Purgatory & someone got into Heaven!

You’re not alone. There’s a FANATICAL woman who’s set up 13 bouquets of flowers on the table including a beautiful head of lettuce in a glass vase with water. I {Mother God} laugh at this. No need to look too far, that woman is YOU.

ME: What makes you think it’s me? And the dreamer would be you, then if it is me, why are you chucking?

MG: Just laughing at how much you love this unworthy man. He spent 17 years in Purgatory – that’s a mean sentence. You almost died of a broken heart for him, yet you do all this.

ME: The table I count 13 bouquets of roses & also the head of lettuce & some veggies in water. Does the 13 say he got 13 Holy Masses in order to rise up?

MG: Not sure but it could. It took a lot to get him up there. He’s been appearing to you since about 2010 when you gave him the first Sacred Kiss. You thought he ascended after only 4 years, not a long time.

Then he did not appear again until a couple months ago repenting finally of how he treated you, then days ago with 5 Sacred kisses.

ME: This explains why in 2010 at his appearance, his Guardian Angel arranged the visit for me to give him a Sacred kiss. I found it unpleasant because he was in a low place in Purgatory.

I now understand how this experience showed he was not clean – he would not take responsibility for his actions toward me, his lack of caring. It’s in what he said,