College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets

Nicholas Speaks

8-19-22 Meditation & Channeling Nicholas

Said a Holy Mass for him today – no doubt the first time he’s ever received the Body & Blood of Jesus & Mary

Where do I begin?

There’s what he & I are talking about, there’s reviews of our relationship. There’s list of hurts from him to me – why? {He wanted to hurt another woman, a caregiver, who didn’t protect him, but he can’t. So he takes it out on me} And from me to him, only to make him jealous, never to hurt.

There’s explanations of what it means for him to be, so to speak, ‘inside me,’ I’m him, he’s me, we are joined as they say, {like Cathy said in Wuthering Heights, ‘I AM Heathcliff!’}

“What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.”

These are not EMPTY WORDS. Indeed, they are said in the wedding ceremony for many, some of who end up killing each other. Some have bitter divorces where each just wants the money they can get out of it. There are all sorts of recriminations & evil after those words for many.

But in a GENUINE marriage, it’s a Sacrament, which means something SUPERNATURAL takes place. And that is what cannot be dissolved, just like Baptism cannot disappear, neither can Confirmation, nor Holy Communion or Confession, or any meaningful Sacred ritual that is transacted between God & her creature.

Now that Nick is dead, the theater of life that he & I shared on earth is closed, a new theater starts. One explores this new place, while thinking what transpired? Now that it’s over all the pieces must fall into place, it looks different than before. There is no physical activity to be anticipated. We will never live together as ‘man & wife’ – he will never call me, we will never see each other’s bodies or make love. He will not hurt me nor I him.

Where do I begin? I’ve reviewed in the past so many times what happened between us that my friends got sick of it & shushed me up. I was obsessed, which I now see as ‘addiction.’ I was addicted to him as strongly a he was addicted to drugs. Getting over this ‘sickness’ of the flesh was one of the hardest things I’d ever done. Had I not conquered this, I would be going through ‘withdrawal’ & horrendous grief right now – but I’m not. I already lost him when he made his decision for the drugs & drug buddies. Yes, we still made love, but he was not recognized as ‘mine’ – another woman graced his social media, it was accepted as the ‘right thing to do’ while I was seen as that which wasn’t right fell away – we hear no more of her – there was a ‘theater’ his friends believed in, no one questioned its appropriateness, no one complained or worried that this was a ‘drug enabling’ relationship. She was young & cute, that’s all that mattered.

I wrote to them I didn’t even know, – friends & family – pleading with them to help me get him into rehab. Little did I know that some of these people were addicts & dealers! Only one friend answered, denying Nick had a problem. I also asked him to put in ‘a good word’ for me – encourage Nick to be with me in a relationship & follow

my guidance. He answered that if Nick wanted to be with me, he would; there was no point in his intervening. Case closed.

This friend kept saying,

“You have no idea what he went through getting razzed about the pictures.”

Oh yes, the pictures. Those were taken to make him a star. I had a plan, but his ‘friend’s made it impossible. They made him turn his back on me. I was going to use those pictures, creating a book – which cost me thousands – with him as ‘America’s Most Beautiful Man’. This was to promote him, first as a model, then see where that could go– make him a celebrity, maybe movies. He could have used fame to jump start his rap music. He spent years with local yokels getting songs done – there was no hope of gold here, there’s millions of guys doing amateur night rap music – some are talented, but it takes more than that. Nick had incredible masculine beauty, a fantastic voice, made good songs, an imposing stage presence, BUT you have to have a manager, a plan, spend time & money. I was beginning to do that & his friends smashed the idea like pigs on books. Why? They didn’t understand it. The gutter was their comfort zone; they didn’t want Nick leveling up to leave them. When Nick & I were somewhat ‘open’ with our affair he became more of a ‘celebrity’ in their eyes than he’d ever been. Although they razzed him, the pics & book I created made him a legend – part of it being the size of his dick! The biggest dick in the hood, certainly on a handsome man, maybe some gorillas had one, but they were gorillas.

After we ‘fell out’ {but were still making love on & off, but I had given up on a public relationship nor him going into rehab} there were OPPORTUNITIES for reality TV shows, which I wrote him about, he ignored. So when the latest offer came in 2021 we’d not been speaking for 2 years. I didn’t have his phone – I did not even contact him the usual, convoluted way of having a friend message him on his face book. This deal would have made him a star & put me on the map again – they wanted our relationship televised, me being a Cougar. He would have got fame & fortune such as no one in the hood ever got – he forfeited that – there was no point in my writing him & getting rejected again. I suggested we use another guy – one of my models – but they said it had to be him, as it required a real love affair, not a front.

Thinking of these things makes me feel great frustration, let me get to other stuff. OK, our last conversation. I wish I had written down every word – but I didn’t, shall remember most of it. Since we’ll never speak again physically it’s now enshrined in my head.

He calls me June 2^nd, 2022. It’s the middle of the night, I am by the phone expecting a call from a sick friend, so I pick up.

Our Last Conversation June 2, 2022

God had told me 4 months previous that he would call near this day – I had forgot. So we talk. Here’s the subjects:

*** He wants to come over. Obviously to have sex. I am 30 miles from him. I ask how he’ll get here – he says he’ll find a way & I know he will. But I tell him it can’t be like it was, I will not be your back street woman. You have another female as your partner on social media. I have to

be your main woman, no more second fiddle. And besides that, for us to be together as live-ins, you must first go through rehab.

*** His 3 yr old son: He wants his son to be better than him, he says something like look at me, I’m not that much, my son has to be better. {I was going to shame him before, like what if your son follows in your footsteps & becomes an addict? But I didn’t want to hurt him.}

*** The past: I explained to him that in the past when I was making out with guys in front of him or leaving the club with them I was doing it to make him jealous. I rarely ever took them home, maybe one out of 10 guys he saw me with did we have sex. {He did much worse hurtful things to me I will explain elsewhere, this was my way of getting back, but nothing worked with Nick, he was hopeless. When I hurt him by pretending like this he’d find a way of hurting me twice as bad next time. All I wanted was his love, his attention. But he could not give me it, 90% of the time in public he ignored me, but he gave attention to other women.}

*** I told him the truth, that since I last made love with him in July 2019, I had not slept with another guy & I didn’t want to. My sex drive went away. He said it’ll come back. I knew he was right if we started up again.

*** Do you still love me? I asked. He said, like he’d said before, that he loved ‘everyone.’ That was not music to my ears. I told him I still loved him & always would.

*** I again explained to him we were spiritually married – it had happened April 21, 2019 – God showed me the vision. I told him about it when I saw him, the last time we made love July 14, 2019. {So glad I keep all imp events on my calendars! And when he & I made love, that day has red hearts & fireworks.}

The way it happened – we had not seen each other for 7 months. He wrote a song for me ‘Cocaine & Broken Bottles’. I wrote down the lyrics, carried them in my purse {still have them there} & would read them to friends. This told of his repentance & misery, that he’d made mistakes, that he was ‘waiting in the rain – some things never change’ {probably outside my apt when I wasn’t there} & ‘here’s my heart to take’ etc. Of course we re-united & his being sorry & my ACCEPTING him, that’s a FIAT or AGREEMENT, like a contract, & it was ratified by God. I saw two white, soft cloths that united & there was no seam. {Sacrament of Marriage} It became One. And there was a small laurel wreath on it as an emblem – symbol of victory. Finally, the dream after July 10, 2011 came true. It said this was my husband, but it would be ‘A slow boat to China.’ So that’s 8 years.

I told him that in spiritual marriage, we are united FOREVER. Even when we die, we’re still together.

*** The song he wrote about me which led to our Mystical Marriage, was the only time he ever appeared in a public place & performed it, along with some other songs of that time.

*** We spoke of DEATH. I told him that my heart was bad, I also had pain when I walked. I said I could die any day. He said, ‘It’s more likely I’ll die before you.’

We spoke for an hour & a half, it was from 3:44 am to 5:15am.

I’ll Now Channel – Speak to Him Actually, He’s with me, it’s more than mind reading

ME: Nick, there are so many things on my mind it’ll take a week to discuss them all with you. The pieces of the puzzle have fallen together & I understand our dilemma. If you got yourself straightened out, went into rehab, got clean, moved in with me, could you have been happy? And myself also?

HE: Anything could have been. Might not have been perfect but overall yes, we would have been happy. The difficult part was leaving the people of drugs, their mentality, their hold on me. They had me in a vice. I’d been friends with them since kindergarten. Whether they were good or bad, they controlled me. I was afraid of them,

of leaving them, like leaving a religion you’re brainwashed in.

ME: And the person you lived with, did you actually love her in True Love? On Halloween, when she struck the beer from my hand, you came over & told me you loved her. I knew you didn’t – not the way you loved me, but of course it was confusing. When you saw me you’d say,

‘Don’t mess up my deal with her.’

You often pretended you weren’t with her any more, that you were ‘talking’ {code word for fukking} to another girl, this one or that one. I believed you, but it was strange, I was no longer jealous. I knew they meant nothing.

What was ‘the deal?’

HE: She enabled me for drugs, you know that, you’ve known it all along. Because of her I could do drugs regularly where I couldn’t afford them before, that was it.

ME: Was death your way out? How did our last conversation affect you, did it make you lose hope of being with me for sex, therefore, never seeing me again, & you didn’t want to live?

HE: I didn’t care. It’s not like I sat down & said I’m going to kill myself. I didn’t care then if I lived or died, if living was without you, then life would be unbearable. Suddenly I saw, when I lost you, that you were all I lived for – the center of my life, my love. I didn’t love anyone else. But I could not leave these people, so that was it. Between a rock & a hard place, the only way out is to die.

ME: But you could have called again & again, tried to persuade me to see you. Why did you accept it as final? And when you didn’t call after that, I did not call you now that I had your # on my caller return – because I promised God not to chase you. And after you didn’t call for a month, I just waited on God’s will.

HE: I’m a weak guy, I’m not like you. I’m a vagabond, a joker, I float downstream. I’m not strong enough to do like you do, I’m a pushover.

ME: Was there anything I could have done t prevent your death?

HE: If you continued having sex with me, it might have prolonged my death for years, but sooner or later on drugs, I would have OD’d. It wasn’t God’s will that I kept using you like that. You gave me an ultimatum at one point. You said you wanted a relationship, that I had to make up my mind. That I should have sex with all the girls I wanted, & when I’d had enough, decide, choose which one.

Eventually, I chose Ruth-Anne {not her real name}. It was because she was a drug enabler, that suited me fine. You were pushing for rehab, she was pushing just say yes to drugs. So I said yes to her. I made my choice.

After 9 months apart I couldn’t stay away from you & we joined up again & kept going until the Covid thing hit & you couldn’t come downtown, as all the places we hung out were closed – one spot that was open you were blocked– that’s where I used to hang out. You didn’t know where to hang out for us to meet. {I had never given you my phone, I had blocked you on face book!} Then your legs began to hurt badly & you didn’t know what to do, things went South for you, so you never came downtown again. You kept waiting for me to call. I sent you my picture on your cell phone once on Nov 28, 2019 – but you didn’t see it until Jan 2020 because you never used your cell phone. I was SNEAKY & did not put a return address! So I could say I didn’t do it!

ME: That’s one of those things that doesn’t make sense about you. What were you afraid of? And the last time you called I had your #, you did not hide it. Why was that? Why were you no longer afraid of what you had feared before?

HE: I was afraid of everyone & everything, I’m paranoid about being ridiculed or criticized. So I tried to hide our relationship half the time, the other half I couldn’t. Also, for a long time you were obsessed & you would follow me to parties & wait outside all night, or else you wrote all my friends, even my Mom. A lot of people wouldn’t accept you – that’s what I was afraid of.

Why I did not hide my # the last time I called? Because you weren’t pursuing me any more, so I took a chance. And sure enough, you never called back. I had been so long without you, I had become desperate – I needed to be that way to treat you properly – but it was too little too late. I was trapped.

ME: OK, so I was obsessed. I would not have been if you were just nice to me, gave me your number & spoke to me regularly & saw me regularly. But you treated me like shyt because you knew you could. You saw me when it was convenient for you – you did that to other girls, they told me about it. But I was the one you loved, you could have been better to me. How did my being obsessed work for you? And when I stopped being obsessed & stopped chasing you I had many dreams of you being unhappy, just totally wiped out & spaced out.

HE: That I was. When you wee obsessed it gave me security, when you stopped, I was lost. That was my Purgatory, that’s why I don’t need any other Purgatory, I’m in Heaven now with you.

ME: I was so abandoned by you & God forbid me to chase you any more. We made a deal – God & I. I was to stop chasing you, pursuing you. Only when you seemed near suicide, I sent you a message through a friend. When you got the message finally, is when you did call & you wrote about me in several songs. My dreams showed you in despair. I was honestly afraid you’d kill yourself, & in fact, you did.

Should I have agreed to see you in the future? Would that have prevented your OD’ing?

HE: The dye was cast. We spoke on this before. It was not God’s will you keep being the sacrificial lamb for me. We came to the end. Yes, I had to die. There was no way out for me. I would have tortured you again if I got my way, honestly. You would have waited & waited again, your poor mind devastated when I did what I felt like doing. It would have knocked you out of your serenity & ability to finish your books & do your work. I was poison to you, unless I had done what you asked. It could not be my way – my way was a bad road.

ME: OK, got it. Now a bit about the present. You’re dead body wise. You have left Ruth-Anne, all the lowlife’s, the fake friends, those who abused you, the don’t cares, the never cared but I’m sure there’s some good people there, I’m just naming the bad ones.

You have hundreds of people thinking about you, posting on social media, praising you, mourning & grieving, wishing you peace, posting images & videos of you. It’s pandemonium. And these same people did not help you get off drugs, some enabled you to be on them, & it bothered me when you put songs on they either ignored them or put a few likes, but not many. They did not encourage you.

They are talking about you ‘the life of the party,’ how funny you were, how lively, the smiles, lighting up a room, etc., on & on. How is all this affecting you?

HE: Not well, it’s disturbing my peace. These well wishers, most of them did not love me in real life, not true love. They used me for laughs & entertainment, they didn’t care about my pain, they never thought about it. They did not even try to see behind the mask. You know the story of the depressed man?

Zampano was the greatest clown in his country, everyone marveled at him in the circus. A man, extremely depressed, went to a doctor & asked for help. The doc said,

‘Try to relax & be happy. Go see Zampano, the clown.’

And the man said,

“I am Zampano.”

You were the only one who saw behind the mask, that’s why you were worried. You knew that without drugs, I wanted to kill myself. You knew I had been abused, I told you once, so did my brother, but then I denied it later. I didn’t want anyone to know, I was ashamed, afraid, I hid it, I denied it, I clowned around a lot to pretend. And once I got on drugs, that was my downfall, & that’s when I was great entertainment, drunk, marijuana & cocaine – maybe other stuff – & I made everyone laugh. They all loved Nick, the clown, the vagabond, the crazy guy, I made everyone laugh, I was loud, hahah, lol. But you were always aware of the pain inside.

And so now, as you read all these posts it bothers you. And because it bothers you, it troubles me. I want you happy. And also, they are thinking about me so they are sending their low vibes into my Higher Space. It’s like bombarding my classical music radio station with hard Metal Rock or terrible static. This will go on until these clowns forget me. Some are sending grieving vibes to me, it’s negative. It’s disturbing my serenity. They were attached to me, they want me, they are trying to pull me down. I feel like rocks hitting our residence, static hitting our airwaves, hard metal rock interfering with our classical, sublime music.

Where I am with you is peaceful, Heavenly & Godly. They aren’t there, so their attention is assaulting me.

And you can’t help but check the media & it’s bothering you & therefore me, as we are One.

Most of these people will forget me in a month, until then we hang on. Some women will grieve longer, some men, a few people, male & female were infatuated with me. It’s attachment, it’s not spiritual love. So it is not pleasant for me to feel this, & they are NOT helping me in any way, they can’t – they can’t help themselves.

When they say they are praying – most of them are doing words. It’s not in their heart. Their prayers, if any, probably take 30 seconds. The fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much, but the lukewarm prayer of the unrighteous avails nothing. Few of them are giving me any spiritual support, maybe one or two, that’s it. So hang on, Rasa, the stoning will stop in about a month. Most of them will forget & then we will find the Peace they say they want for me.

For IMAGES of my spiritual husband, whose real name is Nicholas Anthony Van Dunk, see the Shiva Shrines ‘Venus, Adonis-Rasa, Jeffry’ & ‘the Holy Grail of Manhood <> Jeffrey Michelangelo’ These shrines exemplify my love for him from day one & give some insights – A most relevant fact is that from the beginning I encouraged him to go into rehab. His ‘friends’ were against me & my advise – These ‘friends’ are all posting on his face book after death, saying how much they loved him. But most of them discouraged him from being with me & taking the guidance I gave. I PREDICTED over & over if he didn’t quit the drugs he would die of an overdose. But sadly, he chose his path & now he is dead – if only his friends helped me with him, this could have been avoided. But they PRESSURED him to leave me & applauded his negative relationships.

Like wolves, they howled for him to stay with the pack. But now their tails should be between their legs. The happy side of this is he has left them, his body is gone. But he is with me spiritually, metaphysically, he is not dead, he is alive with me. We are happy. He loves me, I love him, in True Love. He had to die to leave them, he saw no other way; he did not have the strength to defy the demons for me.

These shrines I had put up about Nick in 2014 & 2015, I removed due to his complaints – as his friends wee razzing hm – & just now I put them back up. He is dead, they can’t harass him any more, he & I are now free to love one another & share our love for eternity. We are happy. I can’t say this to everyone as they are so shallow they will not have the least understanding, some of these people are less than animals – animals are good.

From friend Pete Jackson in response to my complaints about his ‘friends’ who didn’t want me with him, denied he was ever abused & took drugs to mask the pain, denied he was an addict, denied that I could help him personally or career wise, etc:

As for the people that knew him being in such denial (if not outright enablers) about his drug addiction problem and such, that was probably because either a) they were fake friends who literally didn’t care at all if he lived or died, b) they were simply far too selfish and self-centered to do anything about it, or c) they simply didn’t want to believe such a thing was true because the very idea scared the crap out of them, and perhaps they thought they could just wish it all away. The same goes for the denial about Xxxxx abusing him as well.

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets

Till Death Puts us Together

8-13-22 Spiritual Husband Prophecy – I had no idea he would be DEAD the next day

For IMAGES of my spiritual husband, whose real name is Nick Van Dunk, see the Shiva Shrines ‘Venus, Adonis-Rasa, Jeffry’ & ‘the Holy

Grail of Manhood <> Jeffrey Michelangelo’ These shrines exemplify my love for him from day one & give some insights – A most relevant fact is that from the beginning I encouraged

him to go into rehab. His ‘friends’ were against me & my advise – These ‘friends’ are all posting on his face book after death, saying how much they loved him. But most of them

discouraged him from being with me & taking the guidance I gave. I PREDICTED over & over if he didn’t quit the drugs he would die of an overdoes young. But sadly, he chose his path

& now he is dead from an overdose – if only his friends helped me with him, this could have been avoided. But they PRESSURED him to leave me & be with his druggie friends &

partners. Like wolves, they howled for him to stay with them. But now their tails should be between their legs. The happy side of this is he has left them, his body is gone. But he is

with me spiritually, metaphysically, he is not dead, he is alive with me. We are happy. He loves me, I love him, in True Love. He had to die to leave them & be happy with me, he saw

no other way; he did not have the strength to defy all of them for me.

These shrines I had put up about Nick in 2014 & 2015, I removed due to his complaints – as his friends wee razzing hm – & just now I put them back up. He is dead, they can’t harass

him any more, he & I are now free to love one another & share our love for eternity. We are happy. I can’t say this to everyone as they are so shallow they will not have the least

understanding, some of these people are less than animals – animals are good.

I did NOT record this or several previous prophetic dreams because of being busy with my life story. Little did I know. Today is the 15^th, deep into the day of his death.

I see Nick standing there & his hair has turned completely grey & white & his eyes are so intense like ‘popped.’ His hair is frizzed & standing out from his head so that the entire hair & head forms a triangle with the wide part on top {upside down.}

* {HAIR LIKE SO: Extreme stress. Upside down triangle means his world is upside down, how he sees it. It’s not what he wants in life.} *

He had beckoned me & I, kind of shy, approached him & kissed him on the lips. His eyes are staring & an intense green.

He speaks to me passionately, meaningfully, but I was so tired of suffering from him I didn’t even write it down. He says,

“I will take you shopping tomorrow. Go there tomorrow, go shopping tomorrow.”

I had no idea what he was saying to me through this dream & I didn’t even let myself meditate on it. What did he mean, go shopping? If it had been years ago when I was obsessed I might have gone to Price Chopper or Wal Mart, knowing he lived near there – hoping I’d see him, but the obsession & it’s drastic suffering was over. I had to move on.

The FEELING in the dream is he has a lot of money & he’s going to BUY ME SOMETHING BIG.

…………………………………………..

MEANING: I need help, Mother God.

MG {Mother God}: He was reaching out to you in desperation announcing his death, telling you he will MEET YOU IN DEATH – go to MEET HIM.

What he will give you is HIMSELF.

In past dreams he gave you rings, gifts & married you spiritually. In real life he gave you sex & attention. This time he is giving up his body in order to leave behind all the things that separate you two. It is his lifestyle –

friends – girl friend – that he was not strong enough to leave in life, to be with you. But now he will give up his physical life, body / lifestyle of drugs / pressure of so-called friends / female who trapped him. By giving up his body he leaves them; now they cannot hold him, keep him, they cannot control him.

He is now telling you {in real life}

“Don’t think of me as dead. I am alive & with you. I am happy in the Heaven of your Soul. I will be with you FOREVER.”

ME: When I thought of the loss of his physical body at first I was shocked & horrified. But as he kept assuring me he is alive & with me, & the philosophy he explains, all my grief went away.

I see it now as HAPPINESS, not sorrow. They have lost him. They all kept him from me, but it was only his flesh they controlled. He has now deprived them, they have lost him, but I have not. My love has been True Love, of God; it is Spiritual, Powerful, Eternal. I have not lost but GAINED. That is the Gift he is talking about {that he will buy me}. Yes, Nick, I have met you. Here I am, we are together.

………………………………………

Tom Selleck dream – ‘Till Death Puts us Together’

Prior to that, I dreamed of him days before, in one, he was Tom Selleck & we were loving each other. It was so romantic, sweet & ecstatic. He was then preparing to meet with me through his death.

Tom Selleck is the symbol of pure & perfect Love, when one gives ALL OF THEMSELVES in the DIVINE STIGMATA, which I have obtained {martyrdom}. This is saying also that Nick has suffered the Divine Stigmata by losing me – {he’s been speaking of what he lost & what God has taken away from him on his Face Book for months, he also had me in several songs, two in the last months, recently calling me ‘the bitch I love the most – who was taken from me!’}as I have deprived him now for 3 years, & he recently called me, asking to see me. I told him it was not possible to carry on our affair as it was, while he lived with his gf & their child & stayed on drugs. He’d have to leave her for me to do sex again, & for us to be living together, he’d first have to go through rehab for the drugs.

He was unable to do these things – was not strong enough. The ‘hood’ of lowlifes held him back from me, he could not have his fake wife & me at the same time, I told him. So for him, it was the end. Death was the only way out! They say ‘till death do us part’ but for us it’s ‘till death puts us together.’

In beginning to channel him – there will be more to come, he says the following,

“I am happy now. There are no distractions, being with the people of the neighborhood. It was suffering. Waking up daily & all I had was them – not you. You led me to believe it wasn’t possible to see you, have sex, while I had the girl friend, & we could not live together as man & wife unless I got off the drugs. OK, I couldn’t do it. They held me by their power.

But now I left them. I don’t have to think about them, attend to them, waste my time with them. I am in the Ecstasy of your brilliant Heart, Mind & Soul. I am enjoying you – it’s Heaven. And I am happy at last!”

Other Dreams

I also dreamed about Arnold, which means success, but it was not the real Arnold but Nick – I would soon have the greatest success with him. Again, we were romantic & loving, I lost the details as I was too preoccupied to write it down. Little did I know how it would come about.

I did warn him over & over, during 11 years we knew each other, that drugs would bring him to an early death, but rehab, which is part of being with me, would save his life. But he could not do it.

PS I do not know how he died. No one yet seems to know, but I assume it was a drug overdose. All I know is 2 of his neighbors say they saw ambulances, fire engines & police on their street.

PS I mentioned but his body is now gone, I can never hold him again. He said joyfully,

“I’m glad I don’t have my body any more! It was all suffering without you! I don’t care about my body – I have your love & you mine. We are together, we are united & happy! My body was a BURDEN.”

College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

to Bey or not to Bey?

to Bey or not to Bey?

Anna Bey is the greatest expert on becoming the woman who snags the elite. She knows it all – seriously – from cosmetics to surgery, to clothing, purses, deportment, culture, education, manners, status – you name it. She has hundreds of movies explaining the subject, including her mistakes on the way.

Check this version for pics on Anna. Right now I cannot put pics from the computer onto my site here, I can only use what’s in my archives……

https://rasavonwerder-william.blogspot.com/2022/07/viva-lacounterrevolution-why.html?sc=1660016727250#c1877639679156759803

Chapter 12 To Bey or not to Bey 8-8-22

Anna is now 36, pushing into the time when these eligible men will no longer consider you prime real estate – by 40 these guys retire us {she seems to say} into obscurity & old age. Not sure if she has a solution to that. I’ve seen about two dozen of her tutorials, she has more answers than I’m aware of.

But yesterday she took the cake. I watched two of her presentations – for me it’s like watching a cobra, I want to look away but I can’t. She preaches the OPPOSITE of all that I represent, & yet, I am ON HER SIDE as she HAS A POINT. My attitude is woman, stand on your own two feet – stop looking at penises. Woman, the New Religion is WALK AWAY from men – create your own world, become the man & woman you want to be – re-animate the masculine traits you once sacrificed, be the strong, heroic, brave & bold person as well as the soft, caring, maternal, compassionate creature that you are. Be all things you once were millennia ago when you were the Great Mother & we worshipped woman as God & God as woman – women reproduced through parthenogenesis. It’s along way to go back there, but human men are going extinct, we’ll have no choice sooner or later.

Last night I saw two of her videos – one was on the mistakes she’s made, & two, on staying away from male losers. When done with this she penetrated my mind to the point I can’t dismiss, it captured me. Previous to this I could watch & walk away. Of humor to me are the purses. She showed us all the purses from designers – I didn’t know then some of these cost thousands of dollars! She explained which are chic, which are not & why. I paid attention, went to the dollar store that looked to me like quality & bought it for twelve bucks, lol.

Then there was the clothing. She explained what was chic, what not. OK, I agree. But her line of duds would not get any hardons from men I know. When I dress like that I get no whistles, no men approach me, it’s like dressing nun style & you get as many offers as nuns. Men as I know them go for sex & unless something sexy catches them, they ignore you – I mean ALL men wherever I go. Of course I’m not talking millionaire yacht clubs or Palm Beach country clubs, I’m talking average venues. I have not tried to infiltrate the elite wherever they hide, but I have had marriage proposals from the rich & famous – all based on my looks, body & youth. They wanted sex so they wanted to marry me, that’s all I know.

Back to Anna. So now, she’s talking of her mistakes. First, it’s the eyelashes, she had them glued on permanently, so long that people were gossiping. She shows an image – yes, they were extreme, yes, it did not do her good. Then the hair color – dark. No, it was not her best look, no she did not look elegant, not right for her. But what really got me was the teeth. She took out a loan – must have been like 50k or more – to have every tooth in her mouth capped. She got a deal where they could do it in 7 days instead of the usual say 3 weeks or more? And then, they started falling out. Yiikes. They had to redo every tooth, which mean drilling them down again – I’ve had some done – then recapping. Finally it was over, she sports the lustrous perfect set she has now, they are beautiful – but what she went through I could imagine tears flowing down her eyes, not to mention her mouth was sensitive from all the stress for a year – couldn’t eat hot or cold, couldn’t open her mouth in cold air, etc – An ordeal. Thank God the condition normalized.

Now I was thinking of all the other procedures Anna had gone through, so many it boggles the mind, I can’t even remember them all. I mean like enhancing her cheeks, reducing her chin was it?, puffing up her lips, hair extensions galore, tattooing her eyebrows, cosmetics going into hundreds of thousands & think of the stress. All this TO SNAG A RICH MAN! How HATEFUL men are who expect all this from a woman!

Then there’s the ‘trashy Reality TV show.’ Wow, was that eye opening. It seems that prior to hers, a Princess of Sweden – I had seen her with the Prince – {the handsomest Prince that ever lived – walking down the aisle – people only stared at him, not her! I heard she’d been part of a Reality Show – I thought it was a survivalist show – but Anna shows clips,

in one, she’s on her stomach, her top is off, a man is behind her massaging her thighs!}.

Five years later, this is one of Anna’s MISTAKES – being on this national Swedish ‘trashy’ show. She explains how the members are manipulated to do outrageous things – she kissed a girl as well as guys – she got fall down drunk, which producers appreciated, etc. And for three weeks of degrading shenanigans she only made 300 bucks! She repeats again & again how don’t do anything like this friends, it isn’t worth it.

I analyze in my mind how the Princess looked & how Anna looked within this show. The princess looked so young she could have passed for 18. And wow, was she cute! She looked like some sort of dessert – or a cute baby animal like a hedgehog or otter or baby raccoon, the kind you want to hold in your hands & cuddle. I could see why the Prince would want her.

Not so for poor dear Anna. This is a while back – But Anna looked middle aged. Her hair is dark, heavy makeup including dark red cheeks like a Tibetan or those who live in Siberia. I found the cheeks positively annoying. She looks amazingly, like 40 years old except for the ACNE, lol! What is going on? I can see why cutie got the Prince, but Anna made a mistake. The mistake was her GROOMING.

Today, Anna has transformed into an Angel. She says MAKEUP makes you look OLDER! Her face looks completely natural, no makeup – only the telltale puffy lips say ‘altered’. You don’t see all the surgeries or tattoos, attached lashes, fake hair, everything looks real. She’s a Dresden doll, a statue of a Goddess, carved by an artist greater than Rodin or Michelangelo, she’s made by a supernatural power, – No paint, just surgery! And she could pass for 20!

Now the next video. It’s the cheap men, those that are unreliable, who want you to pay half, don’t keep their promises, who – ok, so Anna got it the same as the rest of us –who make promises but don’t even give us Arpege – they just wanted to get laid. Anna is passionate, yet as usual, articulate, & you have to hand it to her, English is her third language! She’s Swedish, knows Italian & is a whiz at English & delivers her knowledge in the most pristine, luxurious settings, designer clothes & perfect poise. They say ‘one of a kind’ – She is it.

As Anna speaks, she delivers WHY men should pay. This I had to hear. I have my own version, Anna’s isn’t far off – we’re sisters under the skin.

We have more EXPENSES! When you think of the half million or so Anna spent to transform herself, you chuckle, but OK, indeed, what about the small scale of poor to middle class women? She has a point, what does a poor woman have to pay?

A poor woman has basically to take care of CHILDREN. She’s got rent, food, clothing, diapers, etc, a myriad of expenses she has to struggle to get either from welfare or her own poor earnings. We’re saying many women are ABANDONED. Men had their fun, their teaspoon of sperm is delivered, the woman is left holding the bag & the bills. What do they care? They reproduced, they did their duty. {Like the world needed more of them?}

And the middle-class woman, such as myself, raised a child alone. I paid everything – he had died & left me penniless on purpose by canceling his life insurance. {My first husband, I was 19}

My choice was not welfare but work. I was a dancer. I paid a baby sitter. The baby sitter is not cheap, one of the biggest expenses. I lived MODESTLY, day to day, week to week, although I made decent money – it wasn’t enough to be COMFORTABLE; Constant worry re making ends meet.

But Anna is in another orbit. She hob knobs only with millionaires & teaches us to do so. Of course, you expect these toffs to pay for it all. But they don’t, apparently. You mean, Anna, some rich guys expect us to pay half? Outrageous! I imagine being out with Dr. Robert Atkins for dinner, he asks me to pay half? {He did not} Or Arnold, or Tom Selleck? What a joke! Of course they wouldn’t. And I suspect – if any of them does, he’s only PRETENDING to be rich & actually looking for what he can get out of a woman. Yes, I met some of those lowlifes – they’re out there.

The next question, which is the right path? To Bey or not to Bey? To turn yourself into the Goddess of beauty, charm & poise as is Anna, no matter what the cost? Or to follow the way of Guru Rasa, which says basically, stand alone like the rhinoceros, throw his Volkswagen out of the way with your horn, trot off & form a Sisterhood. Use your money for that – help other women toward independence.

After all, isn’t Anna’s way one of continued dependence on men? I saw the poor girl on an English TV show sweating in her Dior suit while a team interrogated her. The woman was nice but the man accused her of going backward from feminism to Gold Digger. Anna was nervous – who wouldn’t be? She was too gracious to vent on men & say the thieves stole it all from us & now we must bend the knee, which we do, & they are selfish, egotistical, vain pieces of scum. She handled herself diplomatically.

However, the question stands, do we do what we have to do to win millionaires or do we just accept our lot, whatever it is, & not bow to men? For one thing, if & when we snag the super rich, what do we do with all that money? It’s beyond security, this is LUXURY. Is all this necessary? What do we say at the end of this life when we can’t take it with us? What do we tell Peter at the Pearly Gates? “I got it all – I snagged a man with 50 mil, now what do I get?”

Although I am supportive & sympathetic to Anna, I will just explain my POV re her. I follow her teachings because I am curious what is the correct way of behavior according to elites – manners, deportment, dress, do’s & don’ts – all of that, for me, could be of use. I mean if & when I hob nob with these people I don’t want to come off as a Cretan, I want to blend in with class. {Say if I need to go to the rest room during a fancy dinner, how do I excuse myself? I am certainly not going to say I HAVE TO GO TO THE REST ROOM! Lol}

And if I was young, I might pay attention to snagging a winner rather than a loser – if I had a choice {some women don’t.} This is the short term – the here & now.

But my vocation or mission is toward the LONG TERM. I already accomplished my goals of youth – I succeeded on all fronts, had every type of success; material, physical & spiritual.

My work is to prepare women for the soon to distant future. Human men are going extinct, women have to prepare to take over the world. This is a big project; it takes a big Anointing & vision to explain. I am explaining it. For that, I must stay close to Mother God & hear her voice, see her Vison.

To that effect, whatever moneys I receive for my life story are going to the Sisterhood, where I hope to prepare young women not to snag rich men, but to become fully independent, confident & powerful within themselves. Don’t let men weaken you by thinking you need them – you need only God at your side. You need faith, hope, trust & confidence in God & realize She is inside you. God & you are One. Men are helpmates, but they cannot tell us what to do, how to think, how to act.

That is what I see as the purpose of my money. Unfortunately, most of the women who do get big money don’t spend it on that – they ratchet up their lifestyle & live for themselves, & world, not sisterhood & the future. And so, all that big money is wasted.

To Bey or not to Bey? That is the question up to you.

{End Chapter 12}

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Mom’s Death

Chapter 11 – My Mother Dies 54 yrs old March 9, 1979

Mom contracted lung cancer from smoking. She never got fat, like most women do at middle age, she forestalled that with coffee & cigarettes, I rarely saw her eat, but she always had a cigarette & coffee by her side.

I’ve spoke so much about how I prayed & offered atonement to God for her, that I’ll skip all that here & move on to something else. But what? I explained how she abused me, mostly in Part 3. Perhaps an overview is in order.

Mom & Dad were opposites in character. He was kind, gentle & non violent. He had a conscience; you could trust him with your life savings & your life. He was forgiving. He thought everything out, an intellectual, a book worm, nice, like Chips in ‘Good Bye, Mr. Chips.’

She was the opposite. Mean, aggressive, punching people with fists – NOT big people or villains, the little people who were gentle like Dad, or myself being a child. I recall one memory, I am 5, she has him on the floor on hands & knees, sitting on his back, punching him with her fists – he does not fight back.

He called her a ‘Tartar,’ which means like Genghis Kahn – Lithuanians thought of Tartars as barbarians. The other name was ‘Hitler,’ both of these he said in jest – but they were true. She even looked the part. She was not an intellectual or bookworm, but did join the ‘Book of the Month Club’ to master English – all of which I read, at 10-12 yrs old. The first book was Daphne DuMaurier’s ‘Rebecca,’ then ‘Gone With the Wind.’

What was she like? All business, survival, no conscience. She did what she had to do, I recall no love but looking back, understand the only person she ever loved was my brother Jim –

{This did not stop her from blaming him for one of her pregnancies, lol – he was about 13. Every time she got pregnant she called it a ‘stomach tumor.’ She was sitting grimly one day seeking someone to blame, & she looks at Jim, & says,

“It’s your fault,”

and he whines in a high voice, like the coward he was,

“No, no, not my fault.”

I don’t know how she found the kitchen table abortionists – but she did, & afterward, I think that’s when she ended up in the hospital to finish the job, as once you’re bleeding, I guess they have to take you in.

I do not recall any affection to anyone – not to my Dad, not to her new guy Marius, not to any of us kids. She just talked & talked, brainwashing the other guys against Dad when they broke up – {which didn’t work on me, she hardly tried.} One time she gave me a

‘Paper Mate’pen for Valentines – I looked at it, it had 2 hearts, I cried, as it seemed like love.

She never punished anyone for abuse of me – she approved it. One time Jim was beating me up for some spurious reason. She saw it from afar –jumped in to help him, without even knowing the reason for the attack.

She was not kind to animals – I never saw her do a good deed to animals or humans. Nothing happened except what she wanted, bottom line; survival. Animals didn’t matter except the cow to take care of, use for milk, butter & cheese. Marius took care of the cow, when she was pregnant he beat her with a chain, then an iron bar right on her belly. He tied her up once so she couldn’t move a foot all night. I went to the barn as she kept mooing in pain. I tried to untie the knots, but had trouble. Can’t recall the outcome, did I get the knots open? I know I gave her fruit to calm her down. But I was the only one in our family who CARED about the animals. They were ABUSED.

Mom had ‘Lape’ – our first dog, named after a ‘Fox,’ her house right in the middle of the sun. Lape dug a huge den under the house to get out of the sun, had her frequent litters that way. She was never fixed, most of the puppies were taken into the swamp by her & Jim & drowned. Jim was also her right hand to slaughter the chickens. Both of them had no feelings. The word ‘psychopath’ applies.

She had no charity for anyone. Except once, I saw her give a half loaf of great Russian bread to a bum at our door, on Delancey St, Newark. But our neighbors in Freehold,

old folks, needed a ride for groceries, she said no. I was ashamed to tell them.

Her last boyfriend {that I knew about} was Bill – a wonderful guy. She was getting kickbacks from a milkman. {Every Sunday all a milkman brings he brought to our house –milk, butter, cheese, & eggs.} She got him the contract for the school where she was now head Chef. It was his nephew Bill – He was the same age as Mom.

She was in love with him, she cried when I told him he kissed his other lady friend. She sent me with him as a spy when he went to see this lady. {It was just like Dr. Zhivago, where he sees the villain kissing the daughter through two glass doors – Russian style because of the cold they did not have too many outer windows, needed light – while the Mom lies on a bed where he had just pumped her stomach from an overdose. The Villain was getting it on with the daughter, the similarity is the glass doors he sees through – Bill was kissing this other lady like that, lol.}

I don’t know how I got so lucky to have Bill take me out bowling. He showed me how to hit a strike & I got 6 strikes in a row. I could do well when encouraged – it felt like love. He even bought me a sweater, unGodly expensive & beautiful. Can’t recall how this luck came my way.

We were now in a beautiful house in MiddletownNJ. I was staying away some nights, she used Bill to try & track me down. Why did she care? It was part of her argument that I was a careless, reckless delinquent – a child gone wild. But I was staying away from the house because the abuse had gotten more intense & there was nowhere to hide or run except into town – bars, clubs, going out with guys even though I didn’t have sex per se, only ‘made out’. In Freehold the woods were my sanctuary.

I was now also 15 to 16, the age when one wants to be independent & have a life of their own. This was not allowed me, I was in the middle of a trap, so the only way I knew to get out was just to go.

There was a handsome rich boy I spent many nights with, he had his own cottage. I’d go out, hang in bars drinking, get a ride to Gil’s {Gil Hoyle, his real name } house & spend the night, then somehow drag my way home. I went to school sporadically, eventually I got kicked out – will explain momentarily.

I was introduced to Gil by a mutual friend, Karen Skumee {not her real name}. One night, his parents were away, both of us spent the night with him in his mansion. Later he got an apt in SeabrightNJ, one of the monumental places of my youth. What larks Karen & I had there one summer! It was like going from Hell to Heaven.

The point about Mom here is she was following me around. She got the address of Gil’s house from Karen, apparently, had Bill take her there & asked him not to give me access. But he told her I’d knock on the door so hard & long – it would be 2-3 am, he had to let me in. And he always did – he told me how she showed up. {Just now I realize had he been of age she would have threatened him with arrest, but he was only 16! His parents had set him up with a surveyor’s job & his own cottage. Mom was good at controlling people with threats, it worked. Once an infatuated teacher from another school called me at home, she was on the extension & broke in threatening him because of my age. Then a boy from my waitress job showed up at our house. She got all the info from him where I worked & then threatened him with police I suppose, he left like a dog with tail between the legs.}

My thought to this & other incidents is why the fukk, if I was so bad, didn’t she just leave me to my fate? If I was a loser or delinquent, let me fall by my own foolishness & leave me in the gutter.

The truth is the opposite. Every time I got a job – to pay my own way, she did not support me. She gave me NOTHING for my welfare, not one dime. Yes, once I kow towed to her for months to get $20 out of her to bleach my hair blonde. It appears in my senior school pic – which she refused to buy. But I told the hairdresser how I had to suck up to Mommy Fearest to get the bread – this hairdresser also did a friend’s hair, & the friend of Mom’s told her – not more money to get it bleached again. {When you bleach you have to do the roots regularly.} So that was the end of my blonde ambition.

I got money for NOTHING & she tried to keep me BROKE by every time I got a job – she found out – she’d call up & get me fired. I was

underage & had to ‘stay home to take care of my school work.’ This was purely to disempower me.

Now take the facts – One, she’s spying on me. She even got Bill’s Uncle to call, say he saw ‘porno movies’ of me & Gil Hoyle – I was frightened & shocked & much later understood she put this guy up to it – only later I recognized his voice, Mom was in the next room listening. She got a thrill out of hurting me.

Spying on me – not giving me a dime & getting me fired from jobs. What does that add up to? Looking out for my welfare or trying to destroy my life? Let me channel,

ME: Mom, what does this add up to? What was your motive? What was your plan?

MF {Mommy Fearest}: My plan? My motive? The motive was HATE. My plan – to destroy you, demoralize you, take away your morale.

ME: What did you think you’d accomplish by going to Gil’s & saying he should not allow me in? – didn’t you have something better to do, like work or cook or have a pleasant evening with your boyfriend? Why do research & go to a remote place, begging guys not to let me stay over night? And why did Bill cooperate with you?

MF: With Gil, you received consolation, a shoulder, a helping hand. I wanted no one to help you. With the jobs, you got empowerment. It feels good to be paid; one gets a sense of self worth. And you’d have money for things you needed. I hated you so much it was worth it to do research, to persuade Bill’s Uncle to call you & terrorize you. I found out who helped you, I went there to forbid it, except he didn’t listen. Bill cooperated with me as I only hung out with men who would – they were always the nicest, sweetest, the most compliant. Men who were dominating & wouldn’t take crap from a woman – like Officer Jim Doud – steered clear of me. They knew I was a bitch from Hell.

ME: That reminds me. When you tried to destroy the reputation of Jim Doud, who helped you get off the charge of animal cruelty in court – did it make you happy? You told everyone he was a homosexual, which in

those days was taken more seriously than now. Did it give you a sadistic thrill to hurt people? And there was no basis for this charge; you knew it was a lie.

MF: I was a psychopath, we have no conscience. I had no empathy, compassion or love. I only cared for your brother, that was it. I had temporary crushes on men, like your Dad when I was 16, & Bill. But as you know I lost interest in your Dad & took up with other men, my love turned to indifference or hate when I had used a person up.

ME: But it seems the hate you had for me was so intense it knew no bounds. I know I have asked this before but it’s still hard to believe how a Mom could hate her child that much. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst, how much did you hate me, & tell me again, why?

MF: 1 to 10? A 15. Why? Your good qualities, you loved Dad, you were sincere, you were obedient, you were lovely. Men wanted you. All those reasons.

ME: And Dad, 1 to 10, how strong was the hate? And why?

MF: An 8, less than you by half. He didn’t give me enough money, that was 99% of it, other than that, not much reasons.

ME: Why did he not defend me from you, take me to live with him when I was 10?

MF: He didn’t know how bad it was, to be honest. And then, he was out of his element taking care of a child. And third, he was selfish & didn’t want his life messed up, his changes of getting another woman maybe. That’s about it.

ME: They money part bothers me as well. He could have given more. And I could have asked him for money for necessities, but I could not even conceive of it. And when I finally went to live with him age 16, he was a miser with me. He saved the money he was giving you for the mortgage, but he did not spend much money on me – so he was actually ahead financially. OK, over & out, I will close this up now.

The End of Being with Mom

Here’s how I switched from being with Mom to go to Dad’s.

One day Karen Scumee & I decided to play hokey, which we’d done a few times before, but we needed money. So we called a cab, he stopped at the bank so I could take out the $40 I had there from working.

Karen & I chatted in the back seat while this demon was listening – he was a local yokel not minding his own business. Knowing we were playing hokey & it was illegal, he drove us right to the police station!

I shall never forget the shock & stress I felt! My Mom hated me & this would make another nail in the coffin. I was a delinquent!

So they called the school & Mom.

Looking back I understand God did this to get me out of that Hell-house & over to my Dad’s, from where I would meet my eventual destiny.

The school was nervous about me because I did play hokey from time to time but I think most of all, re Mr Doubt {not his real name} who I would chat with, in his classroom, almost every night after classes. Because I hung out with him for solace & advice, the rumor went out that I was having an affair with him. And they had had a scandal the year before when a 16 yr old girl took off with one of the teachers, & didn’t want that again. There was nothing going on with Mr. Doubt, I needed a friend, that was it.

Each time I broke the rules, a couple times, they called my Mom in, she’d dress up in a designer suit that our lady friend had bought her, high heels, & wore a ‘high hat,’ telling them how great she was, a poor little woman abandoned by her husband & raising children alone! And I was the bane of her life, running around, a delinquent, staying out ALL NIGHT & doing a lot of fukking! Lol. To be honest – I HAD NEVER HAD SEX until I went to Brooklyn! I mostly stayed out to stay away from her & also, have some fun to compensate for the stress of abuse. People need LOVE – you look for it wherever you can get it. It doesn’t have to be SEX – just talking or attention are forms of love.

I know this is what she said because when the counselor she talked to called me in, without a word of asking about my side {I didn’t know how to explain it anyway} accused me of all that she said & demanded to know THE NAMES OF THE GUYS I HAD FUCKED!

He spoke of my ‘poor Mother’ who had raised kids ALONE – & how he himself had been a bad boy but straightened himself out & became an upstanding citizen & how dare I give all this trouble to my mother & play

hokey & fuck guys?! I was so frustrated I couldn’t say a word, just started to cry, & he didn’t know what to do so he told me to leave, that was it.

I was EXPELLED, & so was my friend Karen Scumee, but years later she told me when the parents come in & plead for their child & promise they’ll be good, they are reinstated {she was}. But Mom had already told them I was the worst child there was {think of Jayne Eyre with her Aunt! – Being sent to ‘Lowood’} & the dye was cast – this no good child had to leave the house & finish school in B’klyn with her Dad.

So now I’m on the bus with my suitcase & someone flags down the bus in front of our house. Mom’s lady friend gets on & tells the driver to tell me to get off. The driver refuses, I paid my ticket. She goes to the back where I’m sitting & tells me to exit, plans have changed, but I refuse. What happened?

Years later I found out my Dad was paying the mortgage – like 1,600 a month {the mortgage is that high when your down payment is low. She blew it all on the most luxurious furniture – not for my room – anything but that. For herself & her lady friend, their room was twice the size of mine decorated in red velvet & fringe like a bordello, with Chanel #5 & Shalimar, plus dozens of other perfumes, on their dresser. My room was tiny with tan burlap curtains & a rag rug – shared with the half sister. Bro had a suite downstairs with his own bath.} – I had no idea as Mom always said Dad gave nothing. And when I was on my way, he told her since he was taking care of me, he would no longer pay the mortgage. That was too much to bear; I had to be prevented from leaving, lol. But God saw it differently.

But even after I left & went to school in B’klyn, the arm of my Mom reached out to me & did her last act of malice. Of course, I asked for it by calling her & bragging what great things I had done. When school was over, the junior year, I went to Seabright, got myself a job at a swank place – the Hofbrau House – got a loan from a friend of $50 {had to wrestle him for it} & put it on a tiny apt where Gil Hoyle used to live. It was shitty but all she had, good enough.

Now I call my mother to let her know how well I’m doing – look what I accomplished! I still thought in my innocent mind, that if I did well enough, she would finally love me – appreciate me. I had no idea of her true nature or that she wanted to destroy me – I thought if I did well enough, she’d appreciate me & stop being hateful. It was MY FAULT she hated me. Why else would I call her?

And so, I make one of the biggest mistakes of my life, call & brag to Mom. She seduces me like a snake. She misses me, wants to see me. She’ll come over, show her what I’ve done, then she’ll bring me home for the night.

So she drives to Seabright from Middletown – I show her my apt, the place I work, she takes me to her house, I sleep.

Next day phone rings, I’m the only one in the house. It’s Karen, who lives & works also in Seabright, at the same place. She screams,

“I’m going to kill your Mother!”

She went to work, Mom had called the boss at the Hofbrau House that she has 2 underage girls working there, which is supposedly illegal as they serve drinks. So that was the end of the job. But Karen convinced them only I was underage, she’s OK & they believe her.

I then call my apt. Mom called & told her I can’t live there, I’m underage – no permission from her. The lady tells her but I put a deposit,

& Mom says,

“You can keep it for all the trouble she caused you.”

That killed my dreams for the summer.

I did not think of any way out re the job or the apt – I could have said I have Dad’s permission, I don’t live with Mom, but didn’t think of it then. And I could have said to both these people that wasn’t my Mom that called, a crazy lady who hates me. But I was so stricken & inexperienced I never thought of that, just fell into suffering & pain.

It wasn’t long after that I left Dad, took off with Marilyn Monroe’s photographer who promised to get me into Playboy, with him to California, Hollywood, to meet my destiny.

You see, God works mysteriously. Had I been a success there that summer, I might not have hung around the city meeting all the people I had to meet, who connected me with photographers, editors, which finally led to this photographer. It was God’s plan being implemented the whole time.

I heard about Mom’s forthcoming death while working in Providence, Rhode Island in January “79.

Two days after her death – March 11 – I was filming ‘Real People’ with heavy thoughts on my mind.

March 12, 1979 was her funeral. I got there slightly late, {no, I will not be late for my own funeral!} after they closed the casket. She had asked the casket to be closed from the beginning, but no one listened. Since I was the only one late, I was the only one that obeyed her, not to see her dead in the coffin. Obedient to the end. {End Chapter 11}

College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Matriarchy & its Issues

Antagonism Against Matriarchy – Also re Why War is Wrong, It’s Only for Making Money! – & Also re Anti-Feminists, Anti Female

Empowerment Fake Women

We start with William Bond: Hi Everyone

From what I have read South East Asia is the last place on the planet where we had matriarchies. India was one a matriarchal country but was invaded by the Muslims. Southern India held out until India was taken over by the British who undermined matriarchal rule in India. Indonesia was also matriarchy but Muslim Arab traders began promote the Islamic religion in Indonesia and turned most of Indonesia into a patriarchal country.

Japan and Taiwan were also matriarchal, but both countries were invaded by patriarchal Chinese settlers or immigrants who took over both of these countries. The original inhabitants of Japan and Taiwan were very tall people and some have survived in Taiwan and in Northern Japan. The Philippines were again matriarchal but were conquered by the Spanish. Magellan the first European to sail to the Philippines was killed by a tribe, whom the Spanish claimed were giants.

Indo-China is also reported to have been matriarchal but was changed to patriarchy by influence from China which repetitively failed to conquer the Indo-Chinese countries.

The last Matriarchal hold-outs still exist in South-East Asia. Like The Mosuo of China, The Khasi and The Garo people of North East India, The Kerala state of Southern India. The Minangkabau of Sumatra in Indonesia, The Ryukyu islands of Japan and The The Nagovisi tribe of South Bougainville island of New Guinea William

Hi Pete

I have wondered why the whole concept of Matriarchy has been suppressed for a long time. I saw this in the book “The First Sex” by Elizabeth Gould Davis back in the 1970s. Feminists criticized the book because she dare mention matriarchy. Then later Marija Gimbutas was heavily criticized for the same reason.

I think the reason why Matriarchy is criticized and suppressed is because patriarchy fears it. It should be obvious that men do a terrible job in ruling our world, but they get away with it, because as they will tell you, there is no alternative. But there is and that is Matriarchy.

Patriarchy used to fear feminism but have now found ways to manage it. They tell female politicians they have to act and behave like men if they want power and female politicians go along with this. So this can be used as an argument against Matriarchy as patriarchy can say, “women are just as bad as men”.

Women are told the lie that love and compassionate are a weakness. But that is not true, because the people desperately want to be ruled by compassionate and caring rulers. Which will never happen under patriarchal rule. Only nurturing women can provide this type of leadership. So if the people are given the choice of a loving Matriarchal government or a uncaring and corrupt patriarchal government they will always choose Matriarchy. So patriarchy has to make sure the people are never given that choice. William

Rasa says: To even DISCUSS Matriarchy makes people think about it. Patriarchs don’t want anyone to even THINK ABOUT IT. If people thought about it many of them would wonder if it’s a good alternative, many would want to see it tried. So remove the subject from the table is what they want to do – Matriarchy never existed, they want us to believe, it does not exist & it cannot be.

They are SCARED TO DEATH of women. Rasa

Pete Jackson: Indeed, that is very true, Rasa and William. Them denying the existence of Matriarchy also functions as a form of gaslighting as well, to deliberately mess with Women’s heads. Worse, sometimes they even deny that patriarchy ever existed either, even worse gaslighting.

From Rasa: Thanks Pete. What does Gaslighting mean? Like Charles Boyer in ‘Gaslight’ making Ingrid Bergman think she’s crazy?

I think I’ll name one of my Matriarchal books ‘What Men are Afraid of”

Men are afraid of women getting together for sisterhood

Men are afraid of women’s INDEPENDANCE

Men are afraid of women thinking logically for themselves – not listening to them or obeying their precepts

Men are afraid of women LEAVING them

Men are afraid of women’s FAITH, CONFIDENCE, VIRTUES, believing in their own God their own way rather than being told who & what God is, what God wants, how to believe, how to behave

Men are afraid of women having meetings, talking to each other, getting together: Sisterhood. In sisterhood there is power.

So all of the above is discouraged in Patriarchy.

What they want is:

Women’s obedience

Women’s FEAR of them

Women’s confusion as to history & facts

Women not to know or understand their real agenda, how evil it is

Women to be weak, passive & not fight back

Women to surrender the mgmt of their children to them although they do not have the best interests of kids at heart

Women to serve them like Steppford wives / slaves

Women to be loyal & faithful like a dog

Women to adore, admire them, & build them up

Women to do what they the men want, not to interfere, just stand out of the way & do background work

Women to keep SILENT re issues such as Patriarchy, Matriarchy, why it is – the gender war – the history of it or anything of it

Pete: I’d like you to explain re war. I know it is to MAKE MONEY in general. In the ancient days it was easy to explain. They attacked other peoples to get everything they had, their land, their resources, animals, women – anything of value. Then they turned the inhabitants into work slaves & breeding slaves.

But the way Gen. Smedley explains it, it’s like corporations making money every time we make war with someone.

Could you give us more insights on that? To the average person – like myself – who knows little of politics, how does this corporations making money in war work? I know vaguely but would like to get your insights. For instance, I know, say one company produces airplanes, they make money. The chemical companies produced Agent Orange, they sprayed the jungles of Vietnam, giving everyone cancer, they made money. All that is purchased to run an army, the producers make money.

Do you have some better, more insightful & precise way of explaining it? Rasa

From Pete Jackson:

Gaslighting in today’s lingo is indeed derived from the film of the same name. Broadly defined, it is when someone makes someone else question or doubt their own reality, make someone think they are going crazy, or otherwise invalidate their experience.

As for war, what Maj. Gen Smedley Butler said was bang on the money, and not much has really changed since he wrote that in 1935. At least not changed for the better. Since then, the cancer of the mercenary-industrial complex (what I like to call the military-industrial complex) has only metastasized many times larger since then, failing to heed President Eisenhower’s famous warning as he was leaving office. It has become even more big business, as so much of the military’s functions have been outsourced to private defense contractors (i.e. mercenaries) like KBR, Halliburton, Blackwater, Dyncorp/CSC, Raytheon, etc. And that’s to say nothing of the weapons manufacturers who quite literally make a KILLING on all of this.

And yet, it still hasn’t unambiguously won a single hot war since WWII, except for Grenada. Korea was a stalemate, Vietnam was a loss in the end, Afghanistan was a loss in the end, and Iraq, including the first Gulf War, had ambiguous results at best. All wars since WWII except Grenada were thus varying degrees of stalemate, loss, or temporary Pyrrhic victory at best. And the Cold War, which we won, was of course by definition not a hot war (though it clearly gave rise to several hot proxy wars all the same).

Lots of corporations directly and indirectly make money from this war racket. Best of luck, Pete

Rasa: Excellent rendition. Thanks Pete

William Bond says: I think the idea that men have no interest in older women is a myth. Yes, there are many men who prefer younger women and that seems to be acceptable. But for some reason it is unacceptable for men to desire older women even though many men have these desires. William

Rasa says: We went through this William many times. The Patriarchy doesn’t want young men to be INFLUENCED by older or experienced, authoritative {to some degree} women. They want to put OLD WOMEN OUT TO PASTURE, not give them any platform to influence the youth, as then, it will be their agenda, not men’s. Old women do not want to send young men into war to kill & be killed, for example.

From Ajax the Great:

Viva La….Counterrevolution? Why “Reactionary Feminism” Is An Anachronistic Oxymoron That Will NOT Help Women

Some on the interwebs are recently claiming that a “sexual counterrevolution” is afoot, one that is ostensibly led by Women on both sides of the Atlantic (USA and UK) who are fed up with the sexual revolution as it were. From Mary Harrington (who apparently coined the term, as well as the term “reactionary feminism” with which she herself identifies) to Louise Perry to Christine Emba to Katherine Dee to Evie Magazine to a few others, including some men as well, there does appear to be a trend back towards sex-negativity, or at least against the perceived excesses of sexual liberation.

The sexual revolution, like the industrial revolution, was a mixed bag overall. Contrary to what some believe, it was neither an unalloyed good nor an unmitigated evil. But overall, it was on balance a good thing I think. Yes, even for Women too. If anything, it is still unfinished to this day. It is not a simple case of “men won and Women lost”, just like the industrial revolution was not merely a simple case of “bourgeoisie (capitalist class) won and proletariat (working class) lost”. Sexual liberation does NOT need to be a zero-sum game at all. Only the male-defined sexuality of patriarchy is truly a zero-sum game, which has existed long before the sexual revolution. Female-defined sexuality is not.

Rasa says: I am asking Mother God to help me with this, as I am somewhat out of my depth, but I rely on Mother God’s help to understand it all. And so, Mother God, why are these women against the ‘sexual revolution?’ I think this revolution happened with women rising up, gaining some empowerment. So why are these women against it?

Mother God: These women are SABOTEURS or traitors to the cause, the way during Hitler’s time, traitor Jews turned in other Jews. They hope to gain some applause & benefits from patriarchs for turning against other women, propping up Patriarchy. They don’t care about human beings & their plight, they only care about themselves & their immediate life, & making some sort of fanfare for themselves – gaining approval & notoriety from the systems that is in power.

Ajax continues: As for the idea that there should be some sort of counterrevolution, as author Louise Perry advocates in The Case Against The Sexual Revolution, well, some good rebuttals from many different angles can be found here, here, and here. Even Christine Emba’s new book, Rethinking Sex: A Provocation (the thesis of which is neither new nor particularly provocative) can be criticized here, here, and here as well. These rebuttals for both, all written by Women, are far, far better than anything I could ever write. And while these two authors occasionally make some decent points here and there, they are both quite heavy on problems and light on solutions. Emba’s solutions are far too vague and anodyne, while Perry’s are far too retro (if not extremely non-starters as well), to even be considered solutions.

But truly the only real solution is the one that these authors don’t seem to consider: MATRIARCHY. It’s like they are afraid to even utter the word, or something. Not surprising, of course, given how utterly infantilizing and agency-denying some of their arguments are to Women in general.

It is true what they say that mere consent should be the floor, not the ceiling, of sexual ethics. No argument from me there. Even most sex-positive feminists would agree as well. What Emba in particular calls “radical empathy” is also crucial, as well as respect, honesty, and basic human decency/dignity, of course. But beyond that, their arguments really start to coast into confusion if not utter incoherence overall. And the relatively short shrift they give to non-heterosexual folks (both Women and men), who they barely even acknowledge at all, also does the reader a serious disservice as well.

Rasa with Mother God says: Yes, it’s a Patriarchal thing to beat up on people for sex, for their sexual choice if it’s different, for their sexual behavior between consenting adults. So they are simply betraying the empowerment of women & endorsing Patriarchy.

But back to Mary Harrington. Her brand of “reactionary feminism” takes it a step further and apparently wants to roll back not only the sexual revolution, but also the industrial revolution as well, and possibly even the Enlightenment too. The 1950s is apparently not traditional enough for her, as she quite literally seems to prefer….the 1450s. (Riddle me this: If that time period was so great, then why all the peasant revolts, in which revolutionary Women, eventually persecuted as “witches”, played an outsized role?) She is really quite the anti-modernist, it seems, and the title of her upcoming book, Feminism Against Progress, kinda says it all. She comes dangerously close to sounding just like the Neoreactionary movement at times. Oh, and she also denies that patriarchy ever even existed either. Thus, her vague “solutions” would essentially preclude the only real solution of Matriarchy as well. And yet she calls herself a feminist, go figure!

Rasa with Mother God says: This woman is gaslighting {you taught me this term Ajax!} She doesn’t MAKE SENSE so she is in sync with Patriarchs, who also don’t ‘make sense’ unless you know they are trying to enslave women.

Ajax continues: (To be fair, Harrington is not the first person to ever criticize the notion of “progress” either. Christopher Ryan, co-author of Sex at Dawn, also wrote a sort-of sequel, Civilized to Death: The Price of Progress, in which he also criticizes the unquestioned notion of progress, albeit from a different and clearly sex-positive angle, and with VERY different solutions compared to the reactionaries. I triple-dog dare Harrington to debate him, lol. But much like Lynn Saxon, author of an unconvincing rebuttal titled Sex at Dusk, she would probably just resort to cad-shaming and other ad hominem attacks.)

Rasa with Mother God says: We, the ‘Three Musketeers of Matriarchy’ – know & agree that the sex issue is CRUCIAL to female empowerment & Matriarchy. When women gain sexual freedom, they gain everything, because 99% or so of the male domination principle is to control women’s sexual behavior. Once that is freed up, game over for men. So of course these evil women would rant on the issue of sex, going backward instead of forward. This would hurt the cause of women & humanity; it would be against God, as God wants female empowerment & Matriarchy. Why would She be rendering human males EXTINCT?

Ajax continues: Oh, and finally, one of her most ridiculous articles ever is literally titled, “Middle Aged Women Don’t Want Sex”, and presumably that applies to Crones as well. Somehow that sounds a bit like projection perhaps? And besides, the legendary Guru Rasa Von Werder has clearly and famously debunked this utterly specious notion to be not only inaccurate, but almost a full 180 degrees wrong as well.

Rasa with Mother God says: All women want sex, young & old. It’s time to recognize that old women appreciate sex as much as anyone else does & they should have the right to use their bodies for pleasure. That is an important principle.

Ajax continues: Thus, so-called reactionary feminism occupies that awkward space between where extreme sex-negative radical feminism and extreme sex-negative anti-feminism meet per Horseshoe Theory. Much like how the far left and far right become dangerously close to each other as well. It is essentially the worst of both extreme worlds, and its pied pipers should really be avoided like the plague and not discussed further. Except insofar as sunlight is the best disinfectant, of course.

UPDATE: Oh, and about those revolutionary Women of the 15th century, eventually persecuted as “witches”, did you know that many of them believed in and practiced communal living and even (gasp) free love? You know, the same things that are absolutely anathema to those self-proclaimed “reactionary feminists” discussed above? According to the actual feminist Sylvia Federici, they apparently did. So far from being the granddaughters of the “witches” they couldn’t burn, today’s reactionaries are more like the granddaughters, or at least ideological descendants, of the sellout Women who collaborated with the witch-hunters and threw their sisters under the bus. That is true not just for these reactionaries, but also for all slut-shamers, SWERFs, forced-birthers, victim-blamers, and rape apologists as well–all of which being just a very short walk away from one another.

Rasa with Mother God says: Sexual liberty for women is crucial. We need to work on this issue strongly – we are. But hope to leave behind a legacy where the sisters & good brothers behind us, continue to work on it.

More from Ajax the Great, after I said a couple remarks:

Thank you, Rasa. Very well-said overall. These “reactionary feminist” women that I referred to, are not even really academics or pundits, they are one-trick-pony ideological hacks at best. They are actually worse than the academics IMHO. And they are clearly NOT of God, no matter how much they may pretend to be. They are probably the most dangerous one of all, as their agenda (if it gains traction) would literally set Women back decades if not centuries, and sabotage any hope of Matriarchy occurring in the near future.

Rasa with Mother God says: They are dangerous if anyone believes their agenda & lies – but fortunately intelligent people will know they are nuts. We have made some progress & going backward, saying it’s right to go backward, is not going to fool too many people these days.

Ajax continues: To be fair, I am willing to give one of them, Christine Emba, the benefit of the doubt as merely being a bit confused about things given her background, and her heart may very well be in the right place overall even if she ends up being incorrect in many ways. I may not agree with a lot of what she says, of course, but she does not seem to be cut from quite the same cloth as the rest of the ones I mentioned, and she is otherwise at least somewhat progressive. As for the rest of them? They can all go take a long walk off a short pier.

Mary Harrington is the worst, and Louise Perry is almost as bad. Anti-feminist wolves in sheep’s clothing, basically. Snakes in the grass, the lot of them. They are worse than even the demonic Phyllis Schlafly, since with the latter at least you knew where you stood with her.

And Lynn Saxon? While I don’t know much about her, years ago she was the one whose only two books she ever wrote were to “debunk” and cast aspersions on Christopher Ryan’s “Sex at Dawn”, and later to cast bonobos and bonobo research in a bad light in “The Naked Bonobo”. She is apparently nothing but a professional troll with an axe to grind against anything even remotely resembling sexual liberation, though I am not sure about how she identifies politically. She literally wrote nothing else, ever. That really says something. Reminds me of Derek Freeman making it his life’s mission to discredit Margaret Mead’s “Coming of Age in Samoa”, also (not coincidentally) about indigenous sexual freedom.

Rasa with Mother God says: Anyone with two brain cells will not take her seriously, given she only wrote those kind of books, lol.

Rasa continues: This article speaks of things I know little about. I don’t know these women & have not read their books. But I know these TYPES of women & don’t want to WASTE MY TIME & ENERGY studying them, because they are saying such NEGATIVES – I just want to stay away from them cluttering my mind. However, since you read them & DEBUNKED them I’m very grateful & I’ll try as best I can, to interject my remarks within your great insights, then I will post it on my site & later a Matriarchal book.

I do have a copy of Sex at Dawn, agree with it totally, think it’s a really important book affirming our position. That I do know. In fact, Dr. Dale Glaebach years ago called me on the phone to tell me about this book, how great it was, urged me to read it, so that’s why I’m aware of it. It confirms & affirms our position on sexuality, bonobos, & all of that.

College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Mugging & Arrest

Chapter 9 Get Arrested, Cleveland, Ohio… Nov 6, 1978

written 7-29-22

It was a little theater – No more than 200 people, whereas some places in Canada held 2,000 {like the Metro Theater in Toronto.} A few memories.

One, I spoke before each show about God. One black dancer was so impressed with my speech she decided to do likewise, & gave a little talk about how her back hurt! Lol. She wanted me to like her & showed me a series of images of herself as a ‘gangster.’ I thought they were whimsical.

Another strong memory is a black man, tall, handsome & well built, saw me outside. People were milling about. He pulled out a hand written letter I had sent him while he was in prison! It must have been 5 pages long! I had no memory of it, but indeed, I know I did answer many prisoners, feeling sorry for them. I was grateful to myself for caring – it made a huge impression on him.

We had a wonderful lady – black – her name was Brandy. She was the finest helper I’d ever had in any venue. One thing, she made a press conference with drinks & food. It was a huge success.

She also went with me to a TV show – can’t recall if I arranged it or she. One of the guests was that boxing entrepreneur Don King. He said,

“Hello Brandy!”

to her & she was amazed, as they had never met! I was so happy for her to get recognition as the owner of the theater was a crud – he had a problem, they told me, with fat women. He kept hiring them to dance, lol.

The host of the TV show thought I was a fake, especially when I told him I donated to the Church for Souls in Purgatory. He said he’d sent 2 reps from his show to go with me when I made the donation, & if I did, he’d report it on his next day’s news. What an idiot. OK, but he did not tell them how much. I gave 1k for Masses.

The Mugging

I almost lost that money the day before. I carried it in my purse because I was afraid to leave it in the hotel – they had no safe. I usually took my purse onto the stage, as it was not safe in the dressing room, naturally, not where the audience could see it but I could. So I was walking from my hotel to the club when right in front of the club a short black man is walking next to me & we both look at the signs & pictures outside.

Before I tell you the next move, let me explain.

No dancer had ever hit all 3 news in Cleveland. I hit two of them – but there was one that was serious news & didn’t touch anything they considered ‘fluff’ – so they did not interview me.

So I prayed fervently that God, no matter what it takes, let them interview me.

OK so myself & this young black guy are standing on the street, & I have my purse on a long strap hanging off my shoulder. Suddenly he grabs my purse so hard that down I go, & I jump back up & chase him.

At the same time a pickup truck is going by with a middle aged man, & he gives chase.

Just as he nears the guy a cop car comes from the opposite direction, & they both have the culprit nailed against a tall chain link fence – game over.

They take him in, lock him up, my money is saved. I recall praying hard as he ran off with it,

“God don’t let him get the money for the Souls!”

The next morning I finally awake for my show. As I

pick up the phone the operator breathlessly says,

“Kellie, there’s the channel X news waiting for you downstairs but I told them I could not awaken you as you had a ‘do not disturb’ order.”

Wow! God had answered my prayer! It had to be this way because this was ‘hard news’ – a mugging of the star of the theater. So they came.

But at the same time, God arranged it so the money for the Souls was not lost.

Here’s how salvation came.

I spoke to the pickup truck driver.

He said,

“When I saw that guy grab your purse & you went down, I thought of my daughters. That’s why I couldn’t let him get away with it, & just as I had him against the wall – a cop car came from the opposite direction.”

I thanked him again & again, felt we were friends.

At the police station, they told me about the guy. He was young & had just got out of jail; in his ‘defense’ he said he grabbed my purse because ‘she was just a whore.’ In other words, in our society its open season on women in the adult trade – you can rob’m, hurt’m, kill’m – it’s OK because they deal with sex. It happened to a sister in NYC, Johnny Pons girl friend, Lily Marlene. Yes, she was selling her time.

She was in a car with a young Jewish guy & he stabbed her like 19 times, around her middle. When she danced – & she was a star – you could see terrible scars.

He got away with it because his rabbi & others came to his defense & said he was a ‘good Jewish boy’ & she was ‘just a whore.’

She became an alcoholic – Johnny Pons asked me to look after her & I did take her out one night – Holy Cow, she drank about $75 worth {I was just surviving money wise, I worked one week a month at the most – not because I didn’t want to but there weren’t enough venues}, he should have subsidized me. Her identity as a human had been stripped away, soon after she killed herself.

The Arrest

It was the first time I’d ever been arrested & I was scared. Yes, got on the news again, lol. What for? Nudity.

There was a black adult trade worker being booked at the table next to me. I pitied her & said,

“They always pick on the poorest people.”

She looked at me & said,

“I ain’t poor.”

The officer understood I was on her side, he said,

“She’s trying to help you,”

And the female said something like she didn’t ‘need no help’ or whatever – I guess she was trying to keep her dignity.

The case went before the judge in my absence – it was dismissed. It was just publicity for the authorities as someone was running for office. The same thing happened in Toronto – there was an election going on & they wanted publicity. It’s Patriarchy. It’s like them saying, ‘We keep the town clean.’

Did you see ‘Elmer Gantry’? This creep went through all the ‘houses’ having members arrested, with press & cops in tow. When he got to one where there was a female he’d been fukking he got snagged. She framed him, had someone take pictures of her in his lap later on – he got on the front page. Elmer Gantry is a deplorable movie which took the great faith healer Aimee Semple McPherson, turned her life around, took this lowlife guy she was involved with{she had t pay off a female for big bucks} – turned him into the star & made her look like a fool: Patriarchy. Whatever we do, we’re the bad guys, they’re the good guys, we can never win, they succeed no matter what they do & we better keep our mouths shut.

{End Chapter 9}

College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Damned Male Agenda

Damned Male Agenda 7-28-22

Letters between Rasa, William Bond & Pete Jackson

Opening letter from Rasa:

Run from the Hills 7-27-22

The ‘Hill People’ of Laos

Another example of a sicker than sick PATRIARCHAL – MALE RUN – Society. It enrages me. Somehow the bulk of the work falls on the shoulders of the women. They work from sunup ’till they drop from exhaustion. The main female featured here looks 10-20 years older than she is – is 60 but could pass for 80 – for the serial pregnancies – 15 – & the non-stop drudgery work. He – the male leader – is a SHAMAN which is similar to a Priest-faith healer. But he has to MURDER an innocent little baby chick to produce a cure for a fever? They boy, it says, was cured, but he took an “anti-fever” pill. What is that? Aspirin? OK so a needless torture of the baby chick – I couldn’t watch. I think he set it’s fluffy-ness on fire from a candle. He could not affect a cure using hypnosis or mind over matter, or herbs like a real FEMALE SHAMAN or faith healer would do – or a non-murderous psychologically effective ritual? {Yes he did that as part of it, – the paper doll – that was OK.}

Then a young person from a nearby village dies – they show the funeral. To commemorate this person’s death they take an innocent Water Buffalo, tie him to a tree, take a sharp spear & stab him to death with it. Then cut off his head, climb on top the roof & make loud noises to prove they have done something good. Only a man would think of this. Then the entire village gets drunk – women included. That part doesn’t other me.

Then the twins business. They have decided that only animals have more than one baby, people that have twins are possessed by an evil spirit. They are BANISHED, their HOUSE & PROPERTY ARE DESTROYED, & they MUST MURDER THEIR BABIES! If they do this they can come back to the village but they are shunned for a full year. Why don’t these people take their babies & somehow by the Grace of God go to that far-away town where the youngest son lives? I know it’s a trek but better than killing two babies! It’s a 6 hour trek. Where there’s a will there’s a way. Trust in God that when you get there God will find a way to survive.

The clincher is when this Chief-Shaman, who is 72 but could pass for 52 because he has the ‘life of Riley’ recites how great he is & he has to have the biggest funeral there ever was – dozens of COWS have to be SACRIFICED for him! He did this, he did that, proving he is the GREATEST man in the province. Hope your funeral comes as soon as possible but spare the Cows. I would take his corpse & hang it upside down, let the kids play target practice on him, like they did with Mussolini.

From You Tube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sNFveHpkwI

The Akha tribe in Laos: Between tradition and modernity | DW Documentary

The Akha in Laos live almost untouched by modern civilization. They still adhere to their archaic customs. But they are on the verge of upheaval. Cut off from the rest of the world, without a paved road, the village of Peryensang Mai has remained almost untouched by modern civilization to this day. Its inhabitants are from the Akha tribe, and they seem to live in a different time: Their language isn’t even written down; their everyday life is defined by the laws and rituals handed down from their ancestors such as animal sacrifices to ward off bad luck. This adherence to customs that are often quite brutal endows the Akha’s lives with stability and direction. The women of the village have a particularly busy life. Because the Akha are largely self-sufficient, their tasks range from agriculture to housework and making traditional clothing. This documentary tells the story of the Laovan family. Mother Yeapheun has always had to work hard to support her large family. Her husband is the village elder and ensures the Akha observe the strict laws and commandments. The couple and their eldest children cannot imagine life beyond the mountaintop, so the family is pinning its hopes on youngest son Kienglom, who has been going to school in a nearby town since he was eleven years old. Like many mountain tribes in Laos, the Akha are facing a difficult choice: between a move down into the valley, which would mean they would have electricity, running water and better medical care – but also abandoning their ancient rituals. The film takes the viewer on an emotional journey of discovery to a tribe torn between tradition and modernity and facing the need to reinvent itself in today’s world.

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Rasa says: They don’t tell you the truth like I did – about it being Patriarchy, etc. They see it from an old-time vs modern point of view; I see it as Patriarchy vs Matriarchy. Why is that? Because Patriarchs are writing our history, making all the observations, so of course, they never reveal their own sins. Even women in Patriarchy, brainwashed, are following the narrative men present. So the society is never fixed – It remains as it is, the male fukked-up agenda, the women following. If we wish to truly change the world for the better we need to see through Mother God’s prism, the way She would see it. And Buddha & Jesus were both Matriarchal – No animal sacrifices. Sacrifice your sins, bad thoughts, feelings and actions. Sacrifice your hate & prejudice, not animals.

And another thing: Check those children’s bodies after the men have ‘baby sat’ them while all you women were at work. Can you imagine what goes on? And who are they accountable to for abuse? Is there police? Will the women handle it? No, the women are slaves, they do what they are told; they cannot protect the children & have no remedy when it happens. Same with all those Patriarchal cults like here we have Amish, Mennonites, Hutterites. Who handles the abuse? NO ONE. That is the purpose of Patriarchy: exploit the women & children, do what we want, they are our workers, breeders & toys

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Pete Jackson says re overpopulation: In fact, as Igor Chudov reports later, in ultra-jabbed Germany, not only births, but even abortions are down too. That means that even accidental pregnancies are down as well as purposeful ones, so it’s not simply due to people choosing to delay or avoid procreation. Really makes you wonder!

Rasa on overpopulation–birth control–abortion

The lack of abortions tell it all. People didn’t stop having sex, & unwanted pregnancies happen all that time. That means something caused people to become infertile.

For me, Patriarchy is going to Hell in a hand basket. It is inevitable that many things will go wrong, all the time. It is expected that the Patriarchs & their sock puppet females will lead the world into devastation again & again – the only question is how?

The fact that many people believed in these monsters shows me they have not been paying attention to alternative media. They are ignorant of what is going on behind the scenes, as the mainstream media is controlled by those that do wrong.

Now about the population. Patriarchy – men – not women, have caused overpopulation.

It behooved Patriarchs to have more & more people in their tribes so they could have bigger armies. Other reasons, it is men who are loathe to practice birth control. Not women. Men many times load their sperm into women & take off – leave her holding the bag. I just saw a documentary in Africa where a dirt poor woman had 6 children in 10 years. She could not afford even the first, & went to live with her Grandma. The moderator asked her why she had so many children – they can’t even feed them! They take turns taking spoonfuls, each one gets only so many. And the woman said,

“Ask the men.”

Each man had abandoned her. They want to fukk but not provide. Maybe they are poor themselves, no doubt, but try masturbating instead of sexing. But they don’t care, they fukk & take off, worse than animals, as many animal males tend their harems – even male fish protect eggs fertilized eggs.

Alright, Dr. Bryan Sykes says the same thing – that the Patriarchs cause overpopulation; serial pregnancies. And so why don’t they remedy this in natural ways, by stop intimidating women into sex, lying to them, pretending they care. Have sex with other men or your hand.

And now those in charge want to reduce overpopulation by MURDER. Typical male logic. There is no end to this & there never will be until the final solution of Mother God comes closer – the extinction of men. Maybe in a few thousand years their numbers will diminish to a point where we can control the rabid dogs. And I apologize to the dogs. Rasa

Pete Jackson says: And recently I was reading about how there are still overpopulation deniers, most notably XXXXX. He actually has the GALL to say that people aren’t having enough kids! Seriously. Or at least not enough to colonize Mars, one of his biggest ambitions. (Facepalm) I do like other things about him, and think he is a genius overall, but he has a MAJOR, MAJOR blind spot in that regard, much like the late Stephen Hawking (with an IQ nearly 200) denying the existence of God. XXX really has his head in an anatomically impossible position, lol.

In Western (i.e. rich) countries, and even some not-so-rich countries, birthrates have been plummeting for a while now, because Women are FED UP. And that is a GOOD thing on balance, not something to fear. The two best, and ethical, ways to solve overpopulation is 1) Female Empowerment, and 2) poverty reduction, and the rest will follow. And make birth control free and readily available as well. No coercion or murder needed.

And yes, the root cause of overpopulation is indeed MEN. They are the ones who force, coerce, deceive, manipulate, and brainwash Women into having so many kids that they otherwise would not have had. Then they either ditch them, or if they do provide at all, there are always strings attached to whatever they provide. How very phallocentric of them.

One thing that came to mind is penetrocentrism in particular. FWIW, I recently saw a study from 30 years ago that found that, contrary to popular opinion, 50% of Women actually prefer non-penetrative sex instead of penetrative sex, while 30% have no strong preference either way, and only 20% of Women actually prefer to be penetrated. There are thus many ways for a man to pleasure a Woman, or even enjoy mutual pleasure, that literally do not involve any risk of pregnancy whatsoever. But in contrast to what 80% of Women want, the particular sex act that MEN demand the very most of all, that is, PIV intercourse, just so happens to be the one that has the very worst risk-reward ratio for Women, especially when so many men refuse to wear condoms, usually for purely hedonistic reasons.

Also, about the Akha people of Laos, you are indeed correct that it is not tradition vs. modernity, but patriarchy vs Matriarchy that is the real question here.

From William Bond: Hi Everyone

The way I see this is to go back to basics. Males have a strong competitive and aggressive instincts. While women have a strong maternal and nurturing instincts. This is because females need a strong maternal instinct to want to give birth and love and care for the children she gives birth to. Males on the other hand have a strong competitive and aggressive instinct to fight and compete against other men for the chance to impregnate females.

To quote Abraham Maslow, “If the only tool you have is hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail”. So if you have men ruling a country and there is a dispute with another country the obvious solution for aggressive men, is war and even genocide. But if we have women ruling countries then in any dispute with other countries then women will first want to talk it over and find a solution that way.

If we go back to the stone-age they they had hunter/gather tribes. Women collected the majority of food by gathering plants, men on the other hand preferred to find food by killing animals. Anthropologists studying stone-age tribes that have survived up until modern times found that the majority of food was gathered by women, hunting was a unreliable way of obtaining food and in some places it was more of a sport for men than a real help to the tribe.

Another thing that anthropologist discovered was that women nearly did everything. They not only gathered most of the food, they carried water, they built the huts and looked after the children. The only thing men did apart from hunting was to fight other tribes in tribal wars. I read a report of one Anthropologists studying Amazon tribes and she found that many had the insane custom that boys couldn’t become men until they killed another men in another tribe. This custom insured that there was perpetual war between the tribes.

Modern man still has the same attitude except we now fight wars with more deadly weapons and we are in danger of destroying ourselves with nuclear weapons. War is also the reason why we have overpopulation. A tribe or country becomes more powerful if it has a bigger army of young men in which to fight wars.

This was shown in Ancient Greece. In the warring states of Ancient Greece the most powerful was the Spartans. The Spartan boys were taught to be warrior from early childhood and they became a formidable army on the battlefield, but they had one weakness. Spartan women were held in high regard in Spartan society and were free to have as many children she wanted. Because of this the population of Sparta didn’t grow and even declined as warriors who died were not being replaced.

They customs of other Greek states was completely different. Women didn’t have control over how many children they had. They couldn’t refuse their husbands sex, they couldn’t use birth-control and rape was never punished. As the result the population of Sparta declined, while the population of other Greek states grew and Spartan warriors found themselves fighting battles where they were heavily outnumbered and their power and influence declined until they were finally conquered by Rome.

The same thing happened to Russia in modern times. The Soviet army did more to destroy the German army in WW2 than any other army. This was because they greatly outnumbered the German army and once they got themselves organized, were able to crush the Germans. But since WW2 the Russian population has been in decline. This is because the Communists did away with the custom of the Russian Orthodox Church which were similar to Roman Catholic customs about banning birth control.

Russia Communists recognized this problem and tried to make it easier for women to give birth through state health care. They even gave medals to women who had many children. But the population still declined and this may be one of the reasons why Putin restored the Russian Orthodox Church after the fall of Communism in Russia.

The Muslims also have similar customs about not allowing women to use birth control and tuning a blind eye to rape. They claim they will be able to conquer the whole of Europe through immigration and that Muslims populations in Europe will grow bigger while Native Europeans will decline and so Muslims will in time become the majority and take over.

While men rule the world they will always be at war and inflict pain and suffering to our world. They only solution is for women to rule our world if we are to live in a world of peace and harmony. William

From Pete Jackson:

Very well-said, both of you.

William, to your last letter I would also like to add that more recently, even for Muslims birthrates have also been dropping as well. It is taking a while but is nonetheless happening for them as well. Again, Women are FED UP.

There was a book a few years ago called “How Civilizations Die (And Why Islam Is Dying Too)”, who painted falling birthrates as a bad thing. But truly it is not civilizations that die, it is patriarchy that is dying.

From William Bond: Agreed Pete, Muslim women exposed to Western ideas do get fed up and question what they have been taught. The same is true of Italy which is strongly Roman Catholic the birthrate is falling because women are now better educated and question the Church’s teachings.

The point is that patriarchy only want large populations so they will have larger armies of young men to use as ‘cannon fodder’, in which to fight wars. William

From Rasa Von Werder:
Good intelligent remarks both of you, & I will add some.

Dr. Bryan Sykes said the following: Not only does it compromise the child’s immune system when the woman stops breast feeding it prior to age SIX – to have another child – but the child suffers intense psychological trauma by being weaned. We wean children as early as possible as men force us to have the next child. Children need psychological / emotional support as well as physical – to give them security, a sense of ‘all is right’ & the quality of LOVE. When a mother weans a child too soon it feels REJECTION. Biology helps women take care of children to the max as her SEX DRIVE DIMINISHES for the years a baby is a toddler – until it can walk & keep up with the tribe. Dr. James Prescott also explains that babies SUFFER ATTACHMENT DISORDER from lack of closeness / bonding with the Mother in the formative years. This disorder leads to a number of maladies such as anxiety, depression, sexual disorders, homicide, suicide & substance abuse later in life.

He notably says that children need PHYSICAL CLOSENESS to the Mom including SKIN to SKIN contact for prolonged periods of time in order to FEEL WELL & mature properly. Rocking is also crucial – I have seen all sorts of devices used for rocking in primitive societies including Tibet & Siberia. Rocking is similar to when a child is in the womb, the mother moves about, & when a Mom carries the child in a case or papoose, obviously it rocks as the woman walks – this is necessary for brain & nervous system development.

The Patriarchs don’t even THINK of that. When male doctors took over the management of children, God help the kids in orphanages. There docs told the nurses not to touch the children except when feeding or diaper changing. All the children DIED. I saw studies on You tube from the 50’s where orphan children were LEFT ALONE most of the time & they just stared vacantly like ghosts. We need STIMULATION, CONTACT & COMMUNICATION with a caregiver in order to grow up healthy.

These factors are not attended to in a Patriarchal society. The idea is quantity, not quality of life, which we agree, is for men to have bigger armies. They don’t care if the soldiers are dysfunctional – as long as they obey orders – in fact, Kay Griggs, the whistleblower who was informed by her Col husband, says they want them to be so so they will be better killers.

Our society is pandemic with attachment disorder as none of us fully gets the nurturing we need from a maternal, loving Mother & society. Mothers are DISABLED from having full charge & management of their children.

Back to what William said, men have one agenda, women the opposite. Men want to KILL while women want to GIVE LIFE & LOVE. It’s necrophilia vs biophilia. Rasa

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Dancing Priest & Stripping Preacher

Chapter 6 The Stripper for God meets the Dancing Priest – & other thoughts on the priesthood

written 7-21-22

Father Thomas Smith Ordained: 1951 Died: 2015 age 90

From the internet: Father Thomas Smith, known as the “singing and dancing priest” was ordained in 1951, and served in the Diocese of Pittsburgh. He started out in a career on stage, performing at clubs in New York City before entering the seminary. He continued to perform while based at a McKeesport parish, in local nightclubs, at church dinners and church fundraisers into the 1990s. {Rasa says: he did more than ‘local’ clubs, he appeared at some hot spots. See his David Letterman Show on You tube.}

My Account: On March 19, 1979, I was booked into the Sheraton Hotel, Pittsburgh, PA. I heard about ‘the Dancing Priest’ from a tabloid, was excited about him, & determined to meet him as he was in that area. His church was fairly close to the Hotel & I took a cab daily to go there – I went to Mass most every day anyway, on the road or at home.

So I find his Church & go. There were so few daily attendants that he held the Mass in the rectory – about 5 people showed up, all women.

He asked each of us what we were dedicating our Holy Communion for & I said, ‘Souls in Purgatory.’ I recall how this older lady glanced at me, startled. I was young so she probably figured how unusual for a young person to care about them.

When Mass was over I told him I had heard about him & that surprised him a lot. He seemed slightly uncomfortable, as apparently few people there knew he was ‘the Dancing Priest.’

He was gracious & invited me to his residence right next to the church – can’t recall if it was just coffee or if we ate breakfast.

When I had to go to the rest room I was directed by one of his servants upstairs, she stood at the foot of the stairs to make sure I went the right way. I went the wrong way & passed a bedroom that was decorated in all red – his room? Like a bordello, I thought.

We chatted a few minutes & he had to rush off somewhere, giving instructions to two lady servants what work to do.

I was impressed & on Real People it shows he’d recruited 2 other priests to take part in an act sometimes. One funny line was,

A guy says 34-24-36 & Fr. cries, ‘Bingo!’

The priests, one of whom was chubby, seemed to be having fun & I was happy for them.

One lady servant lingered for a minute talking to me & I asked her about plans, & she looked into the sky sort of wistfully, & said

“Something big is coming up”

but wouldn’t tell me what. It could have been ‘Real People’ as I saw him there subsequently, or maybe David Letterman.

I recently saw the Letterman show & he conducted an intelligent & informative interview. Letterman was nervous. Then he sang with his band – he was good, & he moved well & dressed nicely. I liked the line where he said something like,

“Billy Sunday, Billy Graham & Bishop Fulton J. Sheen, step aside!”

I know it took nerve to say the Bishop’s name, as the CC might get mad. {Bishop Sheen was without fault, being canonized now – he helped me with my Mom through her last 3 weeks in Purgatory – probably because she made us watch his show. He was angelic.}

Fr. Tom admitted his act was a way to get people’s attention toward the Church. All his lyrics were special – designed that way – He didn’t do standards. He was one of a kind, & a good egg. I’m glad I took the effort to meet him, R.I.P. Fr. Tom.

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William Bond & I Discuss the Priesthood

From William Bond:In your latest writings Rasa, it seems you were acting like a priest with the people you worked with in the stripper places. It reminds me of what Pamela told me.

She is Church of England and goes to Church every Sunday and she tells me she far prefers female vicars to male vicar, (there are some notable exceptions to this). And this doesn’t only apply to her but also seems to be the opinion of other people she meets at Church. She said that in the city where she lives people will travel across the city to go to Churches where there is female vicar and avoid most male vicars.

She claims with that, with a few exceptions, male vicars haven’t a clue how to talk to people and she predicts that if this trend continues, women will be taking over the Church completely. Which makes me wonder why women were banned as priests. Apparently before Christianity was taken over by the state they did have female priests and it suggests that the only way male priests could compete against women priests, was to ban them completely.

The Christian Church is in decline but perhaps women priests could reverse this. Pamela also reports the Church of England is now being politically correct and talking about a male and female God. So perhaps we could end up with Churches worshiping a female Mother God with a female priesthood.

An effective priest has to believe in God and prayer, to be a good communicator and listener and care about other people. Women are far more likely to be like this than men. I have read stories of career priests who have admitted they don’t men and care more for others. This is why I think once women are let into the priesthood of various religions they will end up taking over. This is why patriarchal religions had to ban female priests or priestesses. Pamela says this is happening in the Church of England over-here, but says there is resistance about women becoming bishops.

I don’t know if there is any chance of there being Roman Catholic female priests but as more Christian sects agree to this I’m sure they will be under pressure to do the same.

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From Rasa: OK I get what you mean then William. Then I’m a Priest or Priestess, like a Pastor, who tends his or her sheep, feeds them, protects them. This is what Jesus asked Peter to be, & I guess all his apostles or disciples. ‘His’ sheep means those of God.

Yes, I do see people as God’s sheep. And yes, we of God who are chosen have a duty to feed the sheep with n

nourishing thoughts & words – which is Truth. We must protect the sheep from predators – the lions, wolves & bears represent negativity, bad thoughts & feelings, & the demonic. We must take our sheep to green pastures where they will find life & water.

I see the Catholic Church diminishing greatly & I don’t think they will ever ordain women, that’s why they’ll shrink. If you can’t change or adjust to the ‘market’ you go ‘bankrupt.’ Once Kodak was the #1 photo institution, they even invented digital photography. But they failed to move ahead with the market, they slid back & eventually went bankrupt. The Catholic Church will fare the same. They will not ordain women because that would be a different Church entirely than what they are. They would rather shrink than fit, lol. So let them shrink, we don’t need them. The good within the Church will appear in other avenues, like my own religion. We will include all that is good in the Catholic, the Christian, The Yogic or Buddhist sects, the Wiccan / Pagan beliefs, into our religion. Something new will form, the good will not be lost. {End Chapter 6}

College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

I Strip for God Meaning

Chapter 5 from William Bond 7-19-22

Hi Rasa this is the article I have written about, “I strip for God”. William {Bond}

Rasa Von Werder once was a stripper under the stage name Kellie Everts, and in a strip-club she gave a religious sermon as part of her act. She called the act, “I strip for God” so what are we to think of this? Was it just a clever publicity stunt? Or just a joke? But Rasa Von Werder is a deeply religious and spiritual person so her sermons in this strip-club would reflect her strong spiritual beliefs and were not just comedy sermons.

She said what she preached in her sermons, was: “Love thy neighbor as thyself, do unto others as you would have others do unto you. Love God with your whole heart, soul & mind. Put God first, above all things. Think of your eternal life, the world & everything in it is temporary. Meditate on the eternal life. I also preached on the sufferings of Jesus & how this is an example for our own, to imitate him & have our sufferings bring great fruit.”

She also said that, “Stripping for God was an outgrowth of my love of God & wanting to do Her bidding. Wanting to save souls. Jesus said, “If you love me, feed my sheep,” – I fed His sheep.”

Many Christians might see this as being very scandalous, after all, many see a strip-club as a den of vice and so what was she doing preaching a sermon there? But this wasn’t much different to the behaviour and teachings of Jesus Christ, where in the Bible it is claimed he ate with tax collectors, prostitutes, and other sinners. Jesus once addressed the Pharisees with a sharp remark: ” I tell you the truth, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you ” (Matthew 21 verse 31). Rasa Von Werder wasn’t a prostitute although as a stripper she would have met many of them and once defended them on a TV show.

***Rasa says: The TV Show was “People are Talking” with Richard Bey in NYC. I was a member of a group of ‘Feminists & Prostitutes.’ There were all kinds of women in it: Ministers, authors {Kate Millet}, feminists, a lady Judge, porno ladies, strippers & genuine prostitutes.

We discussed allthe issues – it was interesting, The moderator had written a book which was really good – on how the system keeps women prostituting by fining them, thereby they have to keep working to pay the fines, while the police, judges & court make money off them.

After a couple months of weekly meetings I declared we should now go to the media & represent prostitutes & fight for their rights & respectability. They all shot me down – not a one of them wanted to work on this. So I did it ALONE. I got on this radio agent thingy & gave my spiel where he represented me to a dozen radio shows, saying I was a good interview, & I did them. Got a lot of flak but women also called in defending the business. It was worthwhile.

Then the People are talking Show wanted to do a bit on prostitutes. They got pro & cons. The cons were evident. The pro lady spoke through a screen, where you could only see her shadow. They wanted a real prostitute in the open – I knew one & recommended her. But she chickened out. I told them I would do the part, impersonating a prostitute. They were going to pay this real one 1k to appear, I didn’t care whether they paid me or not, so I didn’t demand the money. I only cared about helping women in their plight.

But they said to me,

“You must be a real prostitute to do the show, it can’t be impersonation.”

So I said, “OK, put me down as a real prostitute, but I’ll wear a different wig & sunglasses.”

Of course everyone knew who I was – I’d done this show a dozen times. My voice & body, the way I spoke, it was obvious. My catch word was,

“Prostitutes are PEOPLE. And I explained that in Patriarchy, we women are prostituted in hundreds of way, don’t pick on the sex therapists, they are only one version of it. Married women get paid for sex. This one married woman objected, so I said,

“Stop having sex with your husband & se if he continue giving you money.”

She looked chastened. She knew I was right. And I think the producers should have given me the 1k – They used me. I should have demanded it. Because I put myself on the line for them – they were desperate. But like I said, I really wanted to help the women.***

So as a Christian woman Rasa Von Werder was following the teachings of Jesus in her “I strip for God” act. But there is more to Rasa Von Werder than this, she is also interested in matriarchy and wants to create a matriarchal religion which she talked about in her web-site, “Woman Thou Art God”. So how does her “I strip for God” act relate to matriarchy?

What is consistent with most patriarchal religions is that they fear sexual women. So we find the most extreme patriarchal religion, which is Islam, cut off the clitorises of women so they cannot enjoy sex and makes them cover-up their bodies and faces from being seen by men. So why would patriarchy go to these extreme? It suggests they fear women’s sexuality.

Rasa says: Don’t forget the Africans do this also, possibly not all, but some. There was a female African going from tribe to tribe with education. She had a plastic dummy of a vagina & explained what was being done, that it was wrong. At times she had to run for her life. They got crazy women to grab these girls – for a pittance, two of them hold her down, while they removed her clitoris with razor blades. Sometimes the women got infections & died. Yes, heinous. Patriarchy is insane. Circumcision is also serious mutilation & child abuse. It cuts off thousands of nerve endings that would later give the male pleasure.

The reason might be to do with the power relationship between men and women. It is obvious that men can easy gain power over women through violence and intimidation because men are bigger and stronger than women. But women can gain power over men through love and sex. Nearly all men want a relationship with loving, sexual women and because men want this so much, a clever women can use this need and desire to gain power over men. But even if a loving women doesn’t do this, men who appreciate living with loving women will show it, by doing every thing that can for them. So because of this, patriarchy does it’s best to sabotage the power women have over men.

Unfortunately, men who follow patriarchal customs can lose out of having a loving relationship, because patriarchal customs encourage men to treat women so badly, that many women became angry with men and this suppresses their loving instincts. As the result, many men end up getting married to women who do not show any love towards them and don’t want sex. So patriarchal customs benefit neither men nor women.

All young men strongly desire women who will have sex with them. But patriarchal customs tell them that women who do this are sluts and whores and should be treated with contempt. Men following this custom don’t realise this works against their best interests, because women know about these customs and it strongly discourages many women wanting sex with men. Resulting in a lot of men having to go to prostitutes to find women who will have sex with them. In the past it encouraged men to get married to women who remained a virgin and generally had a negative attitude about sex.

Rasa says: When I was teen, you couldn’t win no matter what you did. They had you as whore or slut if you did it, if you did not, you couldn’t get a boyfriend. This Patriarchy has everything wrong & backward because it’s the female that’s supposed to rule the family & the world, so all our customs & rules are upside down. Patriarchy is all lies, no truth to it, it’s all wrong in all ways.

The irony of this, is that patriarchal religion praise women who don’t have sex. Like nuns, who are supposed to never have sex with any man. Yet people who have had nun teachers at school, report horrendous stories of how cruel these nuns were to the children they teach. While prostitutes who are condemned by patriarchal religions as being ‘sinners’, there are many reports of them having hearts of gold. Obviously, not all nuns are cruel women and not all prostitutes have hearts of gold but it shows that being denied of sex doesn’t make women more loving and caring, or women using sex to earn a living, doesn’t always make them less loving people.

Rasa says: As a 5 year old, I was put into a CatholicSchool, thank God, for only a short time. The nuns were cold & mean. But when I went to Catechism, contemplative nuns in long robes taught us & I adored them, obeyed every word they said. Later in life, when I was fighting for women to be ordained, I met nuns. I also had my daughter in a Catholic Private School. Then I met nuns in my area, who judged me & refused to be friends because of my being in the adult trade. Some of these women seemed confused & troubled. Maybe they were sexually abused as children & sought to get away from men. But of these women, the lesbians seemed to be happy – they are in their element, living with women, what’s to be sad?

Women tend to see sex in terms of giving and receiving love and try to teach men to see it in the same way. But men are taught by patriarchal customs to see sex in terms of dominance and submission or even sadism and masochism. So men use to be told in Christian countries and still in Islamic countries that a man wasn’t a ‘real’ man if he couldn’t dominate his wife using violence and intimidation.

The result is that when women view pornography on the Internet many are shocked to find it is more about dominance and submission or even sadomasochism than about love. And even when women in these porn films do demonstrate loving behaviour, it is still viewed through the framing of submission and masochism. So patriarchal religions and societies do there best to separate sex, love and religion from each other. So what would happen if sex, love and religion were combined with each other? It seems that this did happen in the past.

Rasa says: About pornography: The men who run these movies are subhuman, I’ve met them, although I never made a porno movie. I ran my own business for ten years with X rated videos, but they were not porn, they were female domination. As I said, the type of men who create these videos, whom I met, are less sensitive than animals, & they represent what sex is in their own minds – subhuman. The movies they make are gross, ugly & disgusting. Women want romance, which is a combination of love & sex. Just ordinary sex is the same as the average animal or insect does, it is not inviting or beautiful.

In India today western tourists are shocked to discover in some Hindu temples the walls of the temples are covered in pornographic carvings. It seems that before Christianity the priestesses of Goddess temples where condemned by patriarchal priests for being ‘temple prostitutes’. This was because the priestesses use to openly have sex with the men who come to these temples. There are also reports that in ancient pagan temples, sex was part of their rituals.

But the way the priestesses of these Goddess temples viewed sex was probably a lot different to the way patriarchal priests saw it. All life comes to our world within the bodies of females. So the priestesses in Goddess temples would celebrate all aspects of this, like menstruation, the sexual act, pregnancy, child-birth and breast-feeding. The patriarchal priests had a different view on all this. Menstruation was seen by them as being ‘unclean’, they condemn sex as being ‘dirty’. In some cultures pregnant women were shut away, even child-birth was seen as sinful and babies had to be baptised to, “clean them of the sin of being born of a woman”. While even to-day breast-feeding is still seen as shameful and women are encouraged not to do it in public.

Rasa says: In those days sex was Sacred, women ran the game, they made it so. When women were degreaded, sex became ugly, perverted & dirty. That’s with men running the show, that’s what they do with sex – they make it ugly.

So love would be the strongest theme in any Goddess religion governed by priestesses. Patriarchal religions sometimes talk about love, but that’s all they do. Many of the actions and teachings and customs of patriarchal religions are not very loving, as they condemn, punish and even kill people who don’t agree with them.

Rasa says: Everything males take over, including religion, becomes corrupt, because men are not supposed to rule. All their institutions become twisted, perverted, upside down, delusional & exploitative. Their religions are filled with corruption.

The teaching of Jesus was very loving and he claimed that God is a loving Father God, but this concept never caught on and many Christians prefer the judgmental and punitive God of the Old Testament. We find that in the pantheon of gods and goddesses in many pagan religions love is always represented by a goddess. So if god is the god of love then it make a lot of sense that She is a Goddess. And this is what we find on Rasa Von Werder’s web-site when she calls God, MotherGod.

Rasa says: Look at the hate their religions preach, hate of homosexuals, hate of sex therapy workers, hate of women who have sex when they want to. They hate women, the bottom line. And yet women are fooled into joining these religions & let these haters control their minds & bodies. It’s sick. The Catholic Church not permitting condoms is sick – women can get AIDS, other diseases, & of course, unwanted pregnancies. Then they are condemned for abortions. Let’s end Patriarchy & make the world straight again.

Mystics talk about the Oneness of God and that we are all One. We don’t find this in any male god because the masculine is all about competition and aggression. True Oneness only comes through love, which is feminine and so for this reason the true nature of God is feminine. Once we realise this, then it is a lot easier to communicate with Her and to receive Her help and guidance.

The point is that if we want to live in a more loving and caring world then we need more loving and caring people in all positions of power, we don’t get this when while men rule our world. This is because in the patriarchal system the worst types of people seem to end up in positions of power. It is the same in religions where we find the leaders of nearly all religions are not spiritual people and just use religion to gain wealth and power.

It is true that not all women are loving people and there are many loving men in our world. But overall women have powerful maternal and nurturing instincts and it is these instincts that make women on the whole, more loving people than men. So we all would be better off if we were able to vote for matriarchal political parties and were able to join goddess religions that worship female deities and have a female priesthood.

***Rasa says: The worship of Mother God & female priests is coming. Jesus himself ordained me, & I say the Holy Mass. I want to encourage all women in the Grace of God to become priestesses & say the Holy Mass for the departed, it is ENORMOUS help to them. I have gotten thousands out of Purgatory this way.

Good work William, thanks for this great article.*** {End Chapter 5}

College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

FEMALE B BUILDING II

Randy Roach wrote:

To:‘Rasa Von Werder’

Mon, Jul 11 at 9:20 AM

My chapters end basically through the late 1980s

The “they” I am referring to are those you were railing about yourself years ago who do not take you seriously in terms of bodybuilding and have pretty much ignored your presence in the sport.

I write a little on Wayne’s and Karen’s marriage in other chapters I still wish to publish. Those are the ones I was referring to as to which chapters I should finish first based on following Volume III, Book1

Betty was nothing more than cheesecake for Joe. By the time the Weiders began acknowledging female bodybuilding she was already into her 40s. From what I can recall, it did not appear as though she ever lifted a weight albeit she probably did to some degree. Later with the acceptance of female bb Betty was portrayed as an older woman who lifted weights for health benefits.

BTW, did you ever read the Weider’s book “Brother’s in Iron”? What a cartoon.

More from Randy Roach:

Also, if Charles Gaines can not be reached for whatever reasons I will give you something you can print such as for an example:

In his pending book on female bodybuilding, Randy Roach has written that Charles Gaines told him he attended the 1974 Mr. Olympia and witnessed me posing up against Arnold and being forced off the stage. He told Randy he was amazed that I would pull such a stunt.

Rasa answers:

OK the statement from Charles Gaines sounds slightly twisted, but I am grateful for it anyway. Thank you. It sounds like I was competing with Arnold. This is not true. It was the end of the show where all the champions posed, it was all finished except the bravos for the winners. I had won two trophies in Miss Americana – 2nd place & BEST BODY. { I usually won best body in the WBBG & IFBB contests. Frequently the winners were politically chosen, so I got second place even though – these were body contests mostly – I had the best body & they admitted it.}

I was not posing ‘up against’ Arnold. He was on the edge of the stage, I simply got up for two reasons. One, I was one of the champions, albeit a woman. I deserve to pose with the champions. In this way I made a statement for the women: We are champions also. We are not second rate or insignificant.

I was not forced off the stage ambiguously by anyone except Arnold, who wanted no images with him & I together, for one thing. I did not think it out ahead of time & should have posed on the other side of him, lol. The statement sounds like someone from the authorities of the show forced me off the stage for pulling a ‘stunt’ – like what I did was inappropriate.

OK, I did something no other woman had done. Yes, I am ballsy, but that’s what it took for women to achieve equality with men. I did it for all women. And Arnold, not a gentleman, treated me like a male competitor. No decent man would have done what he did. He is NOT decent.

I am the kind of woman who broke down the iron doors for women – I kicked it open for them, they kicked me in the ass. The women followed power, which they wanted a piece of. I helped them get it. But they did not acknowledge the one who broke the door down, they followed the Weider narrative which was only those who bent the knee to them – be it physically, economically, emotionally, politically, got recognition. For example, Doris B. She kow towed to both Weider & Lurie, she was a mealy mouth double agent. Lurie gave her a magazine of her own! She FAILED, the magazine did not sell because she was not capable of running it. Why did he not give me the magazine? It could have been successful. Because look at my success rate. Now in the Weider rendition of the history of female body building, they praise Doris but ignore me, they speak of her early publication which was just a provincial news piece, probably a circulation of 100 if that. I had from 1975 to 1979 reached untold millions for female body building. So she was ‘one of them’. She even betrayed her friend Rachel McLish. Somebody started some nonsense about Rachel wearing a padded bra bikini, & she dutifully checked & said yes, the material was kind of thick or words to that effect. If she was her friend she should have said, ‘That’s ridiculous, who cares if her bra is padded? Don’t look at her bra, look at her body.’ But instead she cooperated with them. This is shown right in the move, ‘Pumping Iron, the Women.’ I was disgusted & felt pity for Rachel – to be humiliated like that.

If you get to speak with Charles Gaines again ask him the following:

“Who forced Kellie off the stage, & how? She says Arnold de facto pushed her off by getting closer & closer to her to the edge until she had to jump off”

“What do you mean by she pulled a stunt? Was this not the spot where all the champions posed, at the end of the show? Wasn’t she one of the champions?”

“She said she was simply posing as a champion, not against Arnold or anyone. She did it for the women to have equal rights.”

This is when female body building went into decline:

American Media, Inc., Agrees to Acquire Weider Publications,

NEW YORK–(BUSINESS WIRE)–Nov. 27, 2002–American Media, Inc. Evercore Partners and Weider Health and Fitness announced today that they have reached an agreement for AMI and Evercore to acquire Weider Publications, Inc. and its related properties for aggregate consideration of $350 million. Randy says it started to decline prior to that & Rasa says: On second thought, when looking at the dates, yes, it was already in decline, this was the nail in the coffin.

From Randy Roach, {from his future book on female body building}

Rasa, this is a quote from you that precedes What Charles said.:

…Seeing Arnold on the far right of the platform, I decided it was perfect. I wanted to get up next to him and pose. I had to summon my courage, because this wasn’t your usual routine. The other women never thought of doing such a thing. I jumped up and began posing beside Arnold. He was totally absorbed and didn’t acknowledge me at all, but his vibes were definitely cold. Arnold began posing against me like one of his fellow competitors as they jostle for best position to the judges. He would hit a pose and I would follow. He was very good at this and he kept inching me closer and closer to the edge of the stage until I had to jump from the stage rather than be knocked off.”

This is what surprised Charles that you would go over and pose against him until he forced you to jump from the stage. Charles said nothing wrong nor was he nasty or critical of you. No one saw anything like that in 1974 so it was a bit of a shock to him.

Rasa says: About female bb ending – Yes, as I looked at the dates, you are right. How do you place the end of female bb? I put it with Kim, after that a downhill deal. Then the bitter end. But they deserved it {the women} because, IMO, they repudiated me & parroted the Weider narrative. {You don’t know what I went through when I returned to speak on body building forums & groups in 2006. I was ATTACKED by women from all angles – the women who were respected in the field. My insider was ‘George Legeros,’ a photographer. He gave me scoops on what had gone on those many years I no longer participated. He said many things, like Weider dealing against the law in employment, not allowing his professionals to compete elsewhere – that breaks the law. To be his professional if you entered someone else’s contest you lost your pro card.

My version of what transpired on the stage with the champs? My memory has a slightly more edited version because I’m more aware of my intentions. Even my own observation might be skewed, then. I can understand then how it looked, if I imitated anything Arnold did. I wish I had some images. There had to have been images taken.

However, the images taken would all have been by WEIDER PEOPLE. How do I know? I gave free tickets to DENIE, who was taking shots for Muscle Training Illustrated of Dan Lurie. He was approached by the Weider people & told he was not allowed to take pictures. In a huff, he & his wife walked out. Wrong move. I was pissed. He should have stayed & taken the pictures on the sly. Therefore, any pics taken most of them – perhaps not all – would have been by Weiders & they were ordered NOT to disseminate anything with Arnold & me, especially those which might put him in a bad light – pushing a woman off stage.

There were probably amateurs taking shots, but I don’t have access to that. After my movie comes out they will come out of the woodwork.

When I was dancing / preaching in Toronto a journalist movie – maker was there many days. Each day he shot from a different angle, obviously planning a future movie. This will some day come out – when my name is in lights again.

To add to what I said about tyrants, once they’re dead the truth comes out, all the bad stuff. When people are no longer afraid of Weider & Arnold, more & more negative things will surface. Their reputations will go downhill. Weider will be a laughing stock. Arnold, you will see all his flaws as never before. But my story will be exonerated. People will look at the facts with logical spectacles & the dates don’t lie. And then they’ll know I was pushed out of their version of history because I cuckolded Arnold. It will be a comedy. It was all about that, years of revenge. Arnold is like the Godfather. If you wronged him 30 years prior he’ll come & get you. He never forgets, he has to destroy who opposed him. Yes, I studied his life & read some of his books & many articles. Yes, I fought back & no, I will not fold up like Mike & Ray Mentzer.

BTW the reason Mike M couldn’t take it he was an atheist. Without God where does one get their strength? Nowhere. Who & what is God? God is all good – Our greatest good. Faith, hope, trust & confidence in God bring those Blessings to us. Without these aspirations, we have nothing to hold onto. We even become the devil’s playground. And so Mike & Ray went downhill not for physical reasons but mental/emotional/spiritual ones. They believed in evil – that they were washed up. Then they had nothing to live for, so they died. Mike & Ray, all they had were Weider magazines. That’s all there was. They were cut off after challenging Arnold. Their only aspiration in life was to be stars & this was through the Weider magazines. So when that ended, they ended.

I was depressed after they repudiated me, ignored me. I felt left out, I demoralized. How ungrateful could the world be? Then I remembered, the world isn’t fair. My mother wasn’t fair. She forced me to carry on after hating me to death. The Holy Virgin replaced her in my mind. Jesus & his Cross sustained me. I died with him & rose again.

Same thing with the body building situation. Against all odds, suddenly, Dan Lurie comes back with Doug Going running the show. I plead my case. I write up the entire history, dates, times, facts, only the facts. I present it to them & the world. They have a reunion where they give awards, & I get the award called ‘Progenitor’ – the foundress of modern competitive female body building. I won, but I had to fight for it. No one can take it away. They tried – George Legeros, my insider, turned against me. Why? He found out I was against Patriarchy, pro Matriarchy, & he wanted to dominate women, so he turned against me. He tried to persuade Dan to rescind the award, luckily Doug Going talked Dan into staying firm. Case closed, end of story, I am exonerated. But it took faith, work, & confidence in God.

Weider & Arnold were not on God’s side. Revenge, so the saints say, is a grave sin. Even when they crucified Jesus neither He nor his Holy Mother took revenge – it is a heinous sin that separates the wrong doers from loving souls. Revenge drags us down into a Hellish place. That’s where these guys were & are. But I must add, although Jesus & Mary did not take revenge, the Almighty did. King Herod died of a horrible disease where his intestines filled with worms & were crawling out. The High Priest Ciaphas went insane. Pontius Pilate’s wife left him & joined the Holy Women. The dead left their graves & walked the streets, the curtain {like 2 floors high} of the temple ripped from the top down – a phenomenon. Things happened when the time was ripe. Karma is powerful, nothing can stop karma.

I predict that the cuckolding of Arnold by me will become known & will be a joke like the ‘No wire hangers’ cliché. Franco caught us in the act back stage, then Arnold interrupted Franco & me in their room. All the world’s a stage & this is entertainment. When it comes down to it – movies & such, is what is ironic, funny, bizarre, crazy works. Bland stuff like everyday life doesn’t. They will become characters in my life as all my abusers are. I will make money off them, lol. What a joke. Why did I take it so seriously?

Who is Randy Roach & What has He Done?

https://www.amazon.com/Muscle-Smoke-Mirrors-Randy-Roach/dp/1434376788

He’s the author of “Muscle, Smoke & Mirrors,” in 3 volumes, the definitive, accurate, detailed encyclopedia on male body building.

His work is a miracle accomplishment, never before done or will be surpassed – because the account is perfect & cannot be improved. In reading it, I was absolutely amazed & blown away by what he did, & on top of that, Randy Roach is blind!

He interviewed hundreds of people from all angles of the Game & found out secrets that most of us, even those in the field, had no inkling of.

All I can say is bravo, congratulations, God speed; you have done a monument of truth in a genre that lived on lies. You took off the masks, the facades, the pretensions of some of the members of the Sport, especially its leaders. You told it like it is – a big change from the stories others perpetrated – It’s the truth, the truth, & nothing but the truth, Amen.

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