College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets

Geared to Women

I got this letter from an Org that

teaches self reliance, carpentry,

camping, permaculture  &

outdoor work classes much of it

geared to women – The first letter

is them, my answer second

There’s beauty and tragedy during this time of midwinter celebrations. Gift-giving has been a part of many traditions for centuries, and remains a sweet way to conjure warmth and joy. At the same time, this sweet practice has contorted into something congested and draining in the post WWII materialist United States.

So much stuff!

 Boxes and packing material and things that need places to go. It can get a little out of hand.

Many of us yearn for deeply connective experiences more than we yearn for things. Why not make your loved one a delicious meal and share it with them while having a focused conversation about something they’re into? Or plan an excursion to a wild place you’ve never explored together? Or write a song or poem to share with them? Or plan to take a class or workshop together on a subject you’re both interested in (hint hint )?

However you approach this time, it can be helpful to examine your own relationship with giving and receiving.

Why do you give gifts? 

What kind of impact are you hoping for? 

What are you longing to receive?

May these inquiries help you feel more grounded and deeply satisfied in your relations, even if you find yourself drowning in bubble wrap.

On another note…as we get excited about opening up classes in January, we’re keying in to the strain that many are feeling around money and time. We wanted to share a few ways we’re responding to this reality.

These are the ways we’re trying to meet you in this moment (we’re all on the same team )

  • In the face of inflation and rising prices everywhere, we are not increasing our registration costs this year

  • As usual, we offer free camping (with facilities use) to all of our students; this includes access to a well-equipped outdoor kitchen, hot outdoor shower, clean and appealing outhouse, and the mountain beauty of our campuses

  • For those who don’t have camping gear, we’re trying out offering some set-up-for-you tents with bedding for a small fee at our Paint Fork campus

  • We’ve created this new Planning Your Trip page to share lots of useful info and help you feel more comfortable and prepared for the whole experience of coming here

  • Also on the Planning Your Trip page, and at the bottom of each class page, we’re sharing more info on transportation options and how to minimize costs there

  • We teach hard skills; if you go home and practice what you learn here, you can save money by building, growing, and making things for yourself, instead of buying them

  • During challenging times, feeling a sense of togetherness can be one of the most supportive things; coming to a class here helps many of us feel like we’re not alone in our hopes and dreams for a more sane and sustainable world

Whether or not you come learn with us, we hope you find a sense of not-aloneness this coming year, and that you can access the essence of generosity as you navigate giving and receiving.

With warmth and welcome,

Yours truly

 Hello Sisters,

anna-bey-how-to-be-classy-schoolofaffluence

            That’s the most sane, intelligent & valuable message/s I’ve gotten from your group since we started.

            I agree with all you state & what you act upon, what you teach & provide.  My problem with participating is I am old & both my hips hurt to the point of not being able to walk but 30-40 steps without carrying a small stool & sitting down {when outside} so I’m NOT a good candidate for your classes or  any sort of TRAVEL.  I have other conditions that make it rough for travel like a long bus ride, let’s skip all that.

 

    I live ALONE in my house so leaving it can invite breakins & most importantly I FEED WILD ANIMALS every day.  All who live in the forest or fields {I’m surrounded by mountains, fields, forests, 50 acres my own plus a large island, riverfront etc} avail themselves of the grub I provide, every day.  If I disappeared they’d go hungry.  I feed everyone from bees to bears; foxes, 1 coyote, skunks, possums, deer, 1 unknown big cat, chipmunks & squirrels, many birds, etc.  Raccoons galore.  I was feeding some of the raccoons & bears by hand, they got so tame.  These last critters can do mischief to property, I’ve had all sorts of dilemmas, so it pays to be around to watch out for trouble. 

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    Putting all that aside, I am hopefully your SISTER IN SPIRIT.  I’ve written you before that I hope to start an Order, a new religion geared toward women partially written – A Temple to Mother God {no men allowed}, a ‘convent’ for single sisters who want it {celibacy not required}, housing for Mothers & their children, A learning facility where we teach & practice all the things you do, plus show business, – entertainment training – acting, singing, dancing, public speaking.

      We will have one large facility where beginners can live in a Community, less privacy, & also individual homes I will design for Moms with kids, or women in same-sex marriages, etc.  This Order will create a MATRIARCHAL COMMUNITY.  No we will not exclude men but have dances or parties often, for those women who want to meet men {we screen the men for background: criminal records, past relationships, employment etc – They have to apply for membership to take part in our gatherings}, date, & possibly have children.  Some of them want no man participating – they want to raise their children alone.  Those who wish to get married can be included but they live in separate premises – to be worked out.  They can still belong to the Order & participate daily or weekly & take advantage of our perks, education, ambiance, child care, sisterhood, etc. {They will soon discover that having a man will be a conflict to their freedom.  Men will resent their participating in a woman-liberating Order, doing constant activities, meeting in our Organization – they will begin to impede & limit the female’s participation, they will be a nuisance.  Women will be warned ahead of time about this & they will discover its truth.}

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  We will have Elders & Officers who are the governing body of the Order, they will vote on issues & actions. Our Order will run on a military style with Officers {Like the Salvation Army.}  We are the Army of Mother God.  This will not be chaotic or a free-for-all, there will be rules, regulations & a hierarchy.  Refusing to cooperate/obey the rules will mean termination of membership & all its privileges.

    OK that’s my info for now.  If you wish to speak to me you may write me & exchange phones.  Thank you for your great activities that feature much for women. I’m excited about your courses including  camping / scouting /  self reliance,  self defense, & assertiveness training  for our Sisters.

 

    Oh yes, in case you’re wondering – I’m not gay, just gung ho for Female Supremacy/Matriarchy.  I’ve had 3 husbands, all of whom died.  I was a Cougar for eleven years, dating new men every weekend – mostly college age. {Much experience & Wisdom here to impart to other women}.  My life story plus many teachings are written in 31 books, available on Lulu.com & Amazon.  I have TEN books on my life story called “I Strip for God.” If you’re interested in any of my books I will send you them FREE of charge.

    One last note, in case you think I’m a Pipe Dreamer with delusions of grandeur.  I have the money today to begin the Order on a small scale, but I am waiting to find staff who can help.  My life story will probably be made into a Major Movie in my lifetime – I’ve had offers since 1981. {If not in my lifetime the rights will go to my beneficiaries for the Order}.  Linda Carter, Wonder Woman, was asked to play me but she refused so that killed it at that time.  But the day is approaching when it will be done.  This will bring in the MILLIONS the Order will require to get it started.  Meanwhile, I will put everything on paper & publish it, in case I can’t get it going during my lifetime; future Sisters will have a blueprint.  I will leave all my resources to the right female/s.  It can be one woman or a married couple who believe in my work & can dedicate themselves to it – they will get the money, my land which includes MINERAL RIGHTS with gas/oil under ground. {See Marcellus Shale}

            Sincerely,    Rasa Von Werder – look me up on the internet, including Wikipedia

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College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets

Lisa Lyon Ascends

Lisa Lyon Ascends with a ‘death bed’ Word for Me!

She  confesses ‘They wrote you out of Female Body Building’!

Rasa-Von-Werder (1) 

12-1-23 Body Building Mystery

 

          I’m in a building, a large room on an upper floor but it’s way different than normal situation & room. It’s like there was war or devastation & there is little provision of space, decent housing, not sure about food or other supplies.

          So I am a visitor I guess in this very large room occupied by a female & her young son who seems to be a toddler. The female is hard up financially, trying to survive, make a living & she’s struggling to do that.

          Her son has made two piles of #2 here on a low shelf, the poop has no smell & it’s almost white, like a texture of some kind of frozen ice cream with the icicles, but it isn’t cold. She has not removed it & after a while I ask her to do so, which she does.

          I see the colors here as a sort of darkish salmon with medium grey running through flourishes, like if you had two colors in a liquid cream & ran a finger or spoon through them, they would create a montage like this. This is how the room seems color wise – hard to explain.

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         She’s trying to make a living by mail order & is working to accomplish this. But later there is talk about body building. It seems like she’s a body builder, way in the beginning. And I am surprised to see a large picture of her in a bb magazine, which is her but not her, somehow her muscles are way-exaggerated & her face changed, improved, everything photo shopped but you would not recognize her on the street from this image. And this is her advertisement by which she gets the most fans to write in & become her customers, so she can make some bread. This whole thing surprised me – that it was not as bad as I thought, her getting customers, but it’s based on this FAKE image of her which looks similar but different to her – it gives the wrong impression, like a sexy message! The colors of the image are exactly like the room & the picture fills the entire page. Who gave her this ad? I wonder.

          Now I’m in the street & about 30’ in front of me is a female waking with a man, on a wide old-fashioned street, like you’d see in old Europe sort of {vaguely}. She’ thin, wearing a plain chemise sort of & I know who she is & want to talk to her. I call out,

          “Pillow!”

          Which was the name of a female bb in the beginning – like 1980 – before all the females used drugs. {Some did, however, in the 1980 contest I was in, don’t know if any were using them in the first Weider BB contest in 1979.}

          She stops as she heard me. I catch up to her & say,

          “Do you remember Kellie Everts?”

          She says yes.

          Now mind you, I ‘m wearing ordinary clothes that I bum around in at the house – no makeup, nothing. You can’t see any great features so I apologize, saying to her,

          “I’m not fixed up, with the right outfit & makeup I look much better.”

          She says,

          “You look fine”

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          Above:  Arnold trying to gain credit for Lisa Lyon as the original female body builder. This would erase the fact that it was Kellie Everts who first got the idea for female body building into national media:   July 1975 Esquire, national TV ‘To Tell the Truth’ 1976  & Playboy’s ‘Huming Iron’ May 1977.  What was his motive?  Love for Lyon or hate for Kellie?  {for cockolding him with his best mate Franco Columbu?}

 

or Then I’m transported from about 20’ or more away from her sitting with a guy dressed in dark clothes. He’s at a desk like a newscaster, journalist, but he’s some sort of a psychic affiliated with her {there’s a sign on his person like a light colored moon crescent which signifies psychic}.

          He’s describing my body building history, it’s arrival, it’s summit, & then he says,

          “And then they wrote her out of female body building.”

          This man is like a friend, spokesman for this lady Pillow, but what he says makes me upset. Is he predicting the future, after I’m dead, or is it what’s already happened, by the Weider/Arnold staff placing the ‘history’ of female body building & leaving me out? If it’s the future it upsets me. As I was greatly hoping the truth would be sorted out & my name would be widely recognized as the Progenitor.

          MEANING:

          *{ME: Here we go again, Mother God. Relying on you to understand the meaning. I suspect Pillow is Lisa Lyon. I suspect her image by which she is trying to make a living, is the lady I see in the full page ad – that the Weider/Arnold duo is promoting her to make her BIG or give her the credit for being the first lady body builder.

          But the impoverished woman in the big room somehow sounds like me, trying to make a living in mail order, which is what I did – but at that point it was not a struggle as I did well. So it’s confusing to me. I need your help.

          The pivotal point to me is this about the future – that they will write me out of female bb history? Or what has already happened? And Lisa from where she is – be it Purgatory or heaven – is apologizing to me about it or admitting they did me wrong?

          MG: This sounds like a review dream & Lisa Lyon talking to you from the dead.

          What MIGHT be relevant here is you seeing her on this broad, ancient style road walking toward the sky {the opening between the 2 rows of buildings} with a man to her right, in a plain chemise, vanilla color, & you call her to speak to her.

          What this sounds like is an announcement of her imminent ASCENSION {she died Sept 8, 2023 so it’s been 2 months, 3 weeks & 3 days, which is a VERY SHORT Purgatory, the average person being about 5 years.} And you were NOT going to record this dream, thinking it was irrelevant, & you would have missed this Ascension!

          It so happens that at times, the one about to ascend as they appear to you for some reason, has a MESSAGE to give you. James Brown told you ‘Do not go out with a black man’ which was an apology for his uncaring attitude. And your first husband’s Mom, from the other side after her death, said to you, ‘I’m sorry I didn’t care about you & your child.’

          And here, Lisa has a message & it is that the Arnold/Weider establishment wrote you out of female body building ON PURPOSE. It’s a REVIEW, not a prediction of future – you already know about it, Lisa is confirming it by way of supporting you, underscoring its truth, which are her ‘last words’ to you. The ‘last words’ on a person’s ‘deaths bed’ are considered accurate, viable & meaningful. They give a message of what’s on their mind, their conscience, their concern. So here she is CONFESSING something, to your favor. It might show that deep in her heart she REGRETTED what was done to you, although she never did anything about it, like saying in public you were the one who started it – who she got her idea from – but it was on her CONSCIENCE.

          ME: It sounds like I’m aware she’s about to Ascend. I see her with her Guardian Angel {this proves something, that our Angel/Angels accompany us during our Ascension}as she’s about 30’ or so in front. I call her to get a message just before she enters Heaven – & this message would have to be ACCURATE.

          Of course Lisa would remember me. She knew of me plus we did the Tom Snyder show together & spoke. Here I discovered she had seen my July 1975 Esquire article, as she exclaimed,

“That was YOU?”

Why do I call her ‘Pillow’ – a female I never knew, never recall even seeing a picture of her – the only thing I recall is calling Doris Barrilleaux who I was now to get PERMISSION from to enter the 1981 Caesar’s Palace competition in Atlantic City. She would not give it to me – hemmed & hawed – didn’t say no, didn’t say yes, it meant NO. And she mentioned I vaguely recall Pillow as a viable contender. So why the name Pillow, Mother God?

MG: to represent the ultimate, cruel REJECTION of you in the female body building world after you got it started! You are in a roundabout sense, asking Lisa Lyon about it. She HAS to answer. Why? Because your spiritual efforts have benefited her escape from Purgatory, otherwise you would not have been permitted this privilege, so here, she owes you one. You have not mentioned her NAME in your prayers but nevertheless, she got some of your God-Grace.

ME: The ancient looking road with the tall buildings on either side, beyond, between the buildings open sky? Why her vanilla chemise, plain as can be?

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MG: Ancient road to Eternity, entering the timeless, not the ‘here & now.’ Her chemise? The plain garb of a sheep, no frills, no pretense, just the plain ole’ sheep’s clothing – vanilla or white, representing the ‘pure in heart.’ No more sin or attachment.

ME: OK the last questions. The person in the big room with the toddler son who has made two plops. The colors of this room resemble the colors of the exaggerated, unrealistic full-page image in the magazine which is her but not the real her. It’s an image made to rope in customers, meant o be sexy while that’s not who she is. She at first is desperate for money, then this image seems to rope in customers so she’s better off than we thought.

MG: Yes this is you, your image in public, the magazines, is not the real you. It provokes sex desires in men; of whatever type they are – being men who like dominant women, body building women or glamour dolls. There you are, on all 3 counts, an image, theater, not who you are AT HEART.

As it shows, in the beginning you were between careers & hard up for money, this mail order business SOLVED it – God gave you it but you had to do a lot of hard work & take chances.

The colors are a combo of salmon & grey. These indicate ‘resurrection’ {fish} & mental {grey.} It shows this entire career of yours – being of the adult trade, the pains, the misunderstandings, everything was orchestrated by God. It was not merely ‘earthly’ work; God had Her hand in it. It was all for a reason.

The toddler who leaves 2 shits I need time to get it – could be someone who was using you – I asked you to end the relationship & you did. 

Another question:  Why is her message delivered through the Guardian Angel, who in the next scene after the Blvd, is sitting as her business associate, behind a desk in front of her, wearing black & with a ‘psychic’ moon on his headdress.

Because Angels are known as ‘messengers,’ like the Angel Gabriel informing Holy Mary she will get pregnant by the Holy Spirit.  It’s an announcement – ‘the Annunciation.’ It makes it official – an Angel CANNOT LIE.

The psychic moon does not say ‘future,’ it says ‘insight’ or something hidden being revealed.  And you don’t know if they left you out on purpose, but this proves it. So as to why the Angel, not her, says it – to make it official & without doubt.  He’s wearing black to denote ‘funeral’ or ‘death.’

ME:  Also when I excuse the way I look, saying I’m not fixed up, wearing my grungy house clothes, she says,

“You look fine.”

Is there any meaning to that?

MG:  She’s praising you not on being ‘fixed up,’ which is superficial, theatrical or Hollywood grooming, but on the state of your appearance as you look without embellishment – & determines it’s fine.  This should encourage you on your quest to reach perfection again.   {end} 

Some Channeling

           Mother God, you know how angry/exasperated being denied true recognition makes me.  I feel like writing something, posting something, maybe even a new book.  Maybe challenge their version of ‘Female Bodybuilding’ on Wikipedia by writing another one with a new title.  I feel inside you want me to just forget it, not to do anything, it isn’t worth it.

          MG:  Right now I want you to do nothing because you’ve already done everything important at this point without wearing yourself out.  You wrote & published your book – your website has the story – many articles.  You repeated the account in your life story.  What more can you do without tiring yourself out?  It’s not that important, most people know – who should know – the truth.  Those who begin doing research & know nothing about the origin, if they have any moxie, will find you.  Those who are deadbeats & write only crap might not find you, but they don’t matter.  Honestly, it’s not important at all.

          ME:  Should I get into their version of the history & make corrections?  I could do it myself, or Pete.

          MG:  Not right now.  I insist you not think about this.  It stresses you out for no reason, it’s not important.  {end}

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College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets

Who & What is God?

Who – What is God 11-13-23

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         I know many people have said things about God that are partially true – But they have claimed part of the answer, not all of it. I believe this will be all of it.

         And I’ve been saying again & again,

“No one knows Who & What God is & they never will, because we are finite, God is Infinite, it is beyond our ability to understand Her.’

But recently She has revealed to me Who & What She is! And I feel it is IRREFUTABLE, like when Einstein discovered his Energy equals Matter times the speed of Light squared, & his Theory of Relativity. So here’s my Revelation:

 

Where God is there is no TIME & so God has no beginning & no end, God just is. God APPEARS & MANIFESTS as the ENTIRE UNIVERSE, & everything in it.

God did not create the Universe & stand apart from it, God IS the Universe.

God is the Galaxies, the suns, moons & planets. God is the Dark Holes & the empty spaces & the meteors.

God is the LIFE on every planet which has life.

God, on Earth, is nature, & animals, the air, the water, the dust, the insects, the people – everything.

All that is in the universe is an extension or manifestation of the BODY OF GOD.

God is both energy & matter, God is everything & in all things.

This answers one of my burning questions – why does God allow predators & victims, for instance, Painted Dogs taking down a deer & devouring pieces of her while she’s kicking & bleating, still alive?

God is both the victim & the predator – God has no MORALS – just as William Bond said – it is WE who invent morals & religions, God invents Life.

In God’s life, it’s all by INSTINCT. God cannot sin, no creature that preys upon another sins, as it is their instinct they cannot deny, in fact, to deny their instinct would be death. The rule of life & instinct is to live, so they must do what they do.

As I said, God is the victim as well as the attacker; God experiences the terror & also the satisfaction of killing for food.

 

Now we come upon a big question, that of religion. Religion is an invention of humans. Prayers, rituals, are the same in all religions, from Wicca to Christianity to whatever. The prayers & novenas & rites of Catholics are no different than those of Wiccans, they are SPELLS. All religion, as Buddha rightly says, has a PSYCHOLOGICAL effect. His followers – although he recognized no central God – do prostrations, prayer wheels, offerings of water, flowers & food to him & Maitreya. He demanded no such thing but people want to worship, as it gives them Peace of Mind & Satisfaction – it’s primarily psychological, we can call it spiritual. It affects our minds & emotions.

We create sets of rules, we follow them, we feel it will bring us to the Promised Land, & it does. Our minds are the catalysts for where we go, to Heaven or Hell, to be discussed further on.

 

Now about DEMONS.

Who & what are they, & what is sin?

Only humans can sin. Animals cannot because they don’t have the intellectual thinking ability to judge ‘right from wrong.’ Their frontal lobes or intellectual capacity of the brains are not developed that way. They cannot ‘reason.’

But humans can reason, & so, knowing ‘right from wrong’ they can CHOOSE to do wrong & then it’s a sin. Who or what decides right from wrong? – Religion.

There are religions that worship hate or negativity, there are religions of Love. Love can be defined as the instinct of a MOTHER – Matriarchy – To care for others, to help them survive & grow.

Of the religions of Love, there is no one religion that can be called the absolute Pinnacle or ‘perfect’ religion. Jesus said,

“Religion is made for man, not man for religion.’

No religion can claim to be the One & Only answer to God as God is all things to all people – Infinity. No one discipline can encompass all that.

I personally admire the Nature religions, like Wicca, equally with the Christian religions, its followers have less faults. Christians tend to be fanatical & judge & condemn others, Wiccans don’t do that. They don’t say,

“follow this or you go to Hell,”

but some Protestants say that. Even Catholics who aren’t as fanatical, many feel they are the one & only correct religion – not so.

Islam is also fanatical but as I said, no religion can represent all there is.

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WHAT ARE DEMONS?

 

Demons come from the ID or the primitive part of our brain, mostly came out of men when they rebelled against Matriarchy & denounced Mother God & women with the mythical words,

“I will not serve.”

Now you ask, if other animals cannot sin when they follow their instinct, why do humans create demons from their primitive self?

Because it is a CHOICE, a decision, which other animals don’t have. But humans have a choice, they have frontal lobes that make intellectual decisions, & the humans who once obeyed God as Mother & respected women, made a choice to turn against them both & stand in their stead.

It is this BRAIN-INTELLECT choice which creates a demon, when the human wants to EXCLUDE GOD & LOVE from his person. It is not a creation of God – it is a negation – it is an absence, a shutting off God from oneself – it is there that people end up in Hell – a place where God is not. It is by their own actions they end up shutting out God & being where God is not.

I conclude this for today & will make additions as they are revealed to my mind. It’s gestating. Guru Rasa Von Werder {end}

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College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets

Jesus & Mary Equals

Principles of the New Religion 8-14-23

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Principle 1 – That Jesus & Mary are Equals

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        Jesus & Mary are equals. They are both God, as in the attitude of Yoga ‘The Guru is God.’ In Yoga we do not look at the Guru as the flesh but as an Embodiment or Incarnation, we look at the God within the Guru, as he or she is Self Realized or Enlightened.

        Mary created Jesus without participation of a man. The Holy Spirit gave her the ability of parthenogenesis, a skill all women once had which has become vestigial. In one of the Eucharistic miracles, Jesus turned from bread into real flesh. This flesh was sent to three laboratories to analyze, without telling them the source of the flesh. Each one came to the same conclusions:

        “This was the Heart Tissue of a living man! Not a dead man – they asked, how did you obtain this living tissue from a living man?”

     And his DNA had no y chromosome. We need to ask Dr. Bryan Sykes, how could Jesus be a man when He had no y chromosome? Was this a miracle? Dr. Bryan Sykes has determined the y chromosome is crumbling & cannot repair itself. When it disappears, in about 100k years, there will be no more men.

        As Holy Mary created Jesus, She presented us his Body & Blood & it was the same as hers. She was the first Priest & the first Pope.

        In the book of Ven. Mary of Agreda, ‘The Mystical City of God,’ four volumes which are the life of The Bl Virgin, dictated to Mary by our Queen, the following is revealed:

        Before Jesus entered the Garden of Gethsemane to await his arrest, he visited his Holy Mother in her oratory. Standing before her & taking her hands, he stated,

        “Mother, let us begin the work of Salvation.”

        He did not say ‘Let ME begin the work of salvation, he said US.’

        How did Mary tangibly work as partners with Our Lord?

        In a monumental revelation, see ‘Next Level Soul Podcast’, interview of Alex Ferrari with Alx Utterman – She describes her experiences with Sri Kaleshwar, a miracle man of India. Here she tells us that Sri Kaleshwar has revealed that the most powerful charka in the body is the WOMB Chakra, hitherto unknown to the west. It contains the data from all our past lives & their karmas! He also explains that only the female has a Womb Chakra, & the male has to use the Womb Chakra of his Mother if he utilizes it. And then he adds,   

Dictated to Ven. Mary of Agreda (1601-1664) by the Blessed Mother herself, The Mystical City of God is an amazing collection of four books of revelations about the life of Mary and the divine plan for creation and the salvation of souls that has been enthralling readers for centuries.

download - 2023-08-14T074028.218

 

download - 2023-08-14T074020.453 download - 2023-08-14T074000.442

        “Jesus had the most powerful Womb Chakra of any living man.”

        Now think. If Jesus employed the Womb Chakra to do his work, his miracles & healings, it was the Chakra of his Holy Mother! Look what this implies! It means She had the most powerful Womb Chakra of all time & Jesus was using it – they were equals. Alx Utterman said she might have reincarnated a million times to have attained her level of evolution.

 

        Now on another level. We know how a loving Mother bonds with her child so that its every pain is her pain. She suffers with the child when it suffers, she grieves when it grieves, she is totally bonded with her child if she’s a good Mom. Her suffering is equal with his or hers. When Jesus suffered, Mary suffered, every one of his pains was her, in the Passion, She was with him in Spirit in the Garden – She knew He was about to be betrayed. She was with him at the scourging, the entire Passion. Everything done to him was done to her, She felt it & lived it. And when He expired, She expired. When He forgave his enemies, She forgave them.

        There was an absolute Mystical connection with them, She supported him like no one else COULD. Her Holiness was above all.

        And after Jesus left the scene, Holy Mary invented the ‘Way of the Cross’ & relived it every Friday; the beginning of devotion to his Passion. And then, She led the Church, not officially recognized, but unofficially, She was the head of his Church. All the Apostles deferred to her, & St. John lived with her as her Son helping Mary in the absence of Our Lord. Jesus decreed it from the Cross,

        “There is your Mother, Mother, there is your Son.”

        He represented all of us.

        It is also She who appears to the human race so many times to save us from the effects of sin & wars. They are equal partners in the Salvation of mankind.

        When we say the Holy Mass in the New Religion, it is the Body & Blood of Jesus & Mary. Amen.

 

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College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets

Reach Sai Baba on My Own!

6-20-23 Startling Experience with Sai Baba

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This is so startling. I am in a kind of theater, on a platform looking down at a huge seating of movie stars. There are hundreds sitting there, maybe even a thousand, & each great star is being introduced by a voice on a speaker & I see one male star stand up with his son to his left, also standing.

 

*** Meaning: These represent the STARS OF GOD – Great Saints. ***

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This man is absolutely STUNNING, medium dark hair & in spite of amazing accomplishments he is modest & humble, you can see it easily in his demeanor.

His Jr is not as stunning, he is alright, much younger, like 28.

And although the great star I know is maybe 40-45 he has the looks of a perfect 35.

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*** The stunning beauty is Sai Baba & his son is Sri Kaleshwar. Beauty is his stature in Heaven, his Radiance. ***

 

I am eager to meet this star in person but don’t know how. But somehow I figure a way, to go around this gathering from the back, & then, I am close to him as in the dream he is now at the back row. My daughter is with me. He & his son are still standing & the star turns to me. He is ABSOLUTELY SHOCKED to see me, that I have reached him, startled. He’s wearing a strong looking glossy twill suit, dark color, wide shoulders, the suit is stiff like armor.

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*** The SUIT of glossy twill, dark, strong shoulders: This is his ARMOUR that represents spiritual STRENGTH & PROTECTION. It’s the ‘armor of God’ – as in the Breastplate of Righteousness.

When a soul rises up to God they cannot be interfered with, contacted willy nilly, by anyone. In Heaven, for example the lower souls cannot access or communicate with the higher ones without their permission.

For example, I might not want to see my relatives in heaven, who abused me on earth, & if I chose not to, they cannot contact me, since I am a higher soul, the onus is on me.

Our Light surrounding us in Heaven {& on earth} is a SHIELD that not everyone can ‘penetrate’. ***

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I place both my hands on his shoulders & say,

“I love you.”

And then,

“Can I kiss you on the cheek?”

Taken aback, he says no!

And I return with again,

“I love you!”

And with my daughter, I withdraw.

Moments later he finds where I went & shows me affection, like snuggling near me. He changed his mind.

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*** Meaning: Wow. I touched him! Meaning I’m on the SAME LEVEL as him – touching the shoulders means Divine Stigmata or Martyrdom. Because Jesus’ SECRET WOUND, that the bible speaks not of, was when he carried the cross, the wood pressing against his shoulder bore through his flesh right down to the bone. Anne Catherine Emmerich reveals this.

Now I have Jesus Secret Wound so to speak – the Interior Divine Stigmata, which no one can see nor can I prove it to anyone. And this is MARTYRDOM. And it is saying that I recognize or touch the secret wounds of Sai Baba – that he was a MARTYR & we have that in common, & this STARTLES him.

The darkness of his suit is ‘God is darkness to the soul,’ so says St. John of the Cross. And people cannot see or understand Sai Baba easily, as his height in Heaven is darkness to those who are not as high.

This Grace occurred because a lady sent me an envelope with his VIBHUTI, enclosed in plastic. This was something that when he was living, Sai Baba could manifest, & it was like talcum powder in the air & it fell on people. One of her friends was there & collected it & sent her some & when she heard I was communicating with Sai Baba she sent some to me. She suggested I keep in in my bed when I sleep, under my pillow. But I was afraid I would damage the envelope somehow & decided to keep it on my bed mantle, & to kiss the envelope each day, which I did. And my kiss resulted in this experience.

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Now Sai Baba put me to a test when he said “no” to a kiss on the cheek. If he rejected me, would I still love him?

I passed the test.

And then he changed his mind, he came to me with affection.

 

Me to Sri Kaleshwar: This is startling in that I was able to reach Sri Baba by my own volition, rather than his coming to me, as you guys have done to me a couple times. And there’s strong symbolism that we are both martyrs. But Sai Baba is a miracle man, with astounding spiritual height & Powers. Surely, how can I equate with him?

 

Kalesh: You can equate with him because of your Divine Stigmata. A person cannot give more than that, they are at the greatest height of Sainthood. You gave up God for loving God in the Interior Stigmata. Sai Baba is also a martur, this says, & you are on the same level.

 

Me: But why can’t I do miracles as he did?

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Kalesh: You have done many miracles. Each soul sent by God has a different mission, your miracles have been commensurate with your mission. Sai Baba & I demonstrated miracles appropriate to our work. We did healings & manifestations.

Your speech in front of the White House stopped the Cold War, end of Communism, the threat of WWIII. That was a miracle.

Your prayers for 3.5 months, in favor of victims of predators, brought about the ‘Crisis’ in the Catholic Church. Was that not a miracle?

The manifestation of female body building, was that not a miracle?

Stripping for God, was that not a miracle?

Seeing God Face to Face, all the Visions of Jesus & Mary, angels & saints, were those not miracles?

And the healings of cancer for your friends, were those not miracles, & other manifestations of answered prayers.

 

Me: But somehow I could not imagine myself an equal to Sai Baba, he is revered as an ultimate Ascended Master. Are you saying I am as good as he?

 

Kalesh: The height of a person is determined by what they give to God of themselves. You gave all. You could not give any more or rise higher, that is the ultimate gift, one’s life. Giving up the vision & Gifts of God is the same as giving up one’s life voluntarily. And so, yes, you are on the same height as the highest of Saints, who also gave their lives.

 

Me: Then I have succeeded as an Avatar. God sent me, many Avatars don’t make it due to this life being so harsh & people being so cold hearted. But you say I made it. Wow. That is extraordinary, I am so happy.

 

Kalesh: You have a lot to be happy about. God is All.

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College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets

Miracle Worker

“Next Level Soul Podcast”

 

Important!   Alex Ferrari – Hear this!

 

I’m listening to the podcasts of this man & here is the one I’m hearing now.  Go to the very END, at point 50:00 where she speaks of the WOMB CHAKRA & how Mother God is our ORIGIN, directly for women as they have a womb, indirectly for men as they have no womb & must ‘go’ to this Chakra through their Mother. 

This has been an ASTOUNDING interview.   

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the podcast is “Next Level Soul Podcast”

It’s the best thing on the internet, IMO

Here Alx Uttermann speaks about miracle man Swami Kaleshwar – It is ‘beyond belief’ what he has done.

 

And the ending which I mentioned she speaks of his revelation of this ‘hidden’ or ‘secret Chakra’ which apparently Patriarchs have hidden because it glorifies the female – the Womb Chakra.  It’s the foundation or origin behind all the other Chakras he says.

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezOkpr-DbrQ

 

the Host is remarkable ALEX FERRARI

 

Next Level Soul founder Alex Ferrari is a #1 best-selling author, podcaster, speaker, entrepreneur, & filmmaker. Throughout his life, Alex always asked the big questions; Why are we here? Is this all there is? What is my soul’s mission in this life? He developed Next Level Soul to help people around the world get closer to their own higher power to look inward for the answers they are searching for.  The Next Level Soul Podcast discusses all aspects of life’s journey; Mindset, Relationships, Health & Wellness, Spirituality, Creativity, Business, Entrepreneurship, etc. 

 

Alx Uttermann

https://nextlevelsoul.com/alx-uttermann/

 

Alex Ferrari 52:05 If people are if people are watching this video, this interview with this conversation, the energy just coming off the images on your background, are are fairly strong, just a little bit, just by the energy of the of the saints that you have hanging on the wall behind you. It’s been a pretty interesting conversation, to say the least. There’s one thing that you talk about, and I’m not sure how long it’ll take you to kind of explain it. The holy womb chakra. Ah, yeah, can you because we basically we’ve just taken most of this conversation to talk about your journey. I would like to talk at least one healing thing, modality, if you will, of what you do in the world today. So can you talk a little bit about the holy womb and what is the holy womb chakra?

Alx Uttermann 52:57 I can, I can say so I spent five years studying this sort of PhD level of miraculous healing and spirituality with Swami caliche for which led us to experience Mother Divine as Maha Kali directly, like in person, like meeting her. In order to command and unlock the energy of the miracles, we need to know who is our real mother? Where did our soul really come from, in the same way that every human child has the right to know their human, their biological mother, we have as souls the right to know who is the Divine Mother and not intellectually, and not in a vision or a hallucination, but eyes open seeing a solid form of Mother, we need to know the womb for we recreate it every so hmm. That happened. And along the way, he gave us a system he gave he taught umpteen systems, of miraculous energy of learning different aspects of how our creation operates, like really at the nuts and bolts level of energy, if you if you like that term, and how to how to understand it as an outgrowth of the energy of the Mother Divine and of Shiva. And if they’re, let’s say, Romans that creates this whole creation.

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Okay, so we were all schooled in that and then he brought out this thing called the holy one chakra in 2006. To that it’s a 7000 year old technology from one of those ancient manuscripts written on dried palm leafs, and it’s all about this incredible doorway into our enlightenment and our capability of souls on this planet called the Holy womb, which everybody has male and female both. You don’t generally see it in the books on chakras and where they define things and blah, blah, blah. Yeah, they don’t need left this one out. It is located variously it’s kind of interesting. There is a chakra like sitting sort of behind all the chakras. which is more or less where a woman’s physicalized womb is. However, it’s also part of our soul. And men through the womb chakra, each individual person has like a spark, right of the big light, you could say that spark connects to the big light, the big source of the mother through this mystical doorway called the womb chakra. So women go directly through it, because they have it physicalized, which is also how we create life, right? We can conceive a child. We can even do it without a man like Mother Mary or the way Rome was created out of a fire ceremony. Through the womb, chakra. Men are a step removed, they go through their physical birth mother to connect to the womb, chakra from other divine. So number one, in our relationship with the cosmic mother, all of the miraculous abilities are there all of the understanding of the creation is there whatever she can do, we can do. But it gets muddied and distorted because this plays into Yogananda teachings very nicely.

The womb chakras, I think what we would call the causal body in his parlance, which is where all the cameras are stored lifetime to lifetime to lifetime to lifetime to lifetime. And from where they come due, in the course of a given life. Let’s say you see a small child with a terminal illness. They didn’t create a Karma this life, why are they having that system? Why is that happening? previous lifetimes where they created enormous heartbreak and suffering for other human beings, is like all come together and through the womb chakra has gotten spit out in this lifetime as a large karmic bill to be paid with interest. Here’s the kicker, if you know the technology, the holy womb chakra. very good chance that you can heal somebody in that predicament. You can reverse it. College Board would say Yeah, four out of five cancer patients he would say I can heal. And we saw that all the time. Terminal horrible last ditch, he would say that the fifth one no mother won’t permit karma is what it is they have to experience it. But when you know the womb chakra, when you have yourself a very strong stable womb chakra. Through doing it’s a meditation system. And it involves drawing a there’s a certain Yantra that corresponds to the individual womb chakra. There’s a whole technology and a whole system around it. It is so miraculous. And the the ripple effects are gigantic. But one when one practices that system, then there are certain healing abilities that already start to get a lot from that. Also, we’re cleaning up our own crazy karmic balance sheet in the process of doing those meditations as month thrusts and the yantra technology, college for I would also say, and this plays into Jesus and his mother. It’s very interesting, he would say the two strongest womb chakras our planet has ever seen our mother, Mary and Jesus.

And what we know from some manuscripts that Jesus left behind in South India, or is that Mother Mary herself had extraordinary divine channels. She was not an innocent 15 year old girl got hit in the head with an angel and then suddenly having a baby. She was like Kali, she had meditated millions of lifetimes to gain that lifetime. When she has Christ in her womb, as a little human being baby developing, she’s already teaching him all the layers of the creation. So it is true when he came out he was a little bit extraordinary. But still, he needed a physical eyes grow to open his channels for which he went to India. So I think we all know in the last years, but she was his first girl. She gave him information through her unbelievably strong womb chakra. And the plot thickens when he goes through the crucifixion. And it’s time to wake him up to bring his soul back into his body. She’s the one who does it. Through her physicalized very, very divine direct line to Mother Divine capability, womb Chakra which makes so much sense mechanistically and every other which way so

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Alex Ferrari 59:12 There’s a technique so there’s a technique on how to activate it, how to understand it, all this kind of stuff as well.

Alx Uttermann 59:18 Yeah, I teach it. Um, so I could say so he gave us many systems over the years, dozens of systems with mantras and Yantras and different ways to approach the healing energy and different sorts of specialties of these different healing systems. I teach them all but the wound chakra is a kind of central, amazing healing system. It is really powerful, both for self healing, obviously, for many kinds of traumas, heartbreaks, cynicism, etc. are and to be able to turn around and use that energy to heal other people very powerfully at this sort of fundamental level of what we call the womb chakra.

Alex Ferrari 1:00:00 No. Did he pass already?

Alx Uttermann 1:00:02 Oh, yeah, he took off in 2012. On the Ides of March. Oh, he was 39.

Alex Ferrari 1:00:07 He was a young man. He was. He was a young man when he left.

Alx Uttermann 1:00:10 Yes. Yeah, I was surprised he made it that long, to be honest. Why? Since I met him in 1999, he was like, Ah, I’m looking for the exit. You did not want to be in the body frickin hated being in the body. And he would say, I will be so much more powerful. When I take somebody when I’m out of the body. I, I have to come physically, I have to endure this. I have to hook you guys up to certain things. And then I’m out of here. And I really think he thought it would be faster.

Alex Ferrari 1:00:40 And why did he choose to choose to come down then?

Alx Uttermann 1:00:43 Oh, it’s his duty. He can’t escape it. He has to.

Alex Ferrari 1:00:47 He had to come down. Has to? Yes. Um, Alex has been a fascinating conversation.

Afterward from Rasa:  After putting together this article I looked up her website & she is CHARGING for healings – about a hundred bucks to a thousand for nine sessions.  They also have COURSES which go from about $200 to $500.  I don’t endorse any of this, I am not suggesting you purchase any of these services – up to you.   I owe her a debt of gratitude for introducing us to Swami Kaleshwar & promoting his miracles & God/work.  She does what she can & that is enough.  I continue to believe in Alex Ferrari & will keep watching & talking about his valuable, informative & amazing podcasts.

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College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Shrine to Shakti

New Group to Join & Post!

New Group – Please join & post!   Why we KNOW God is a woman!

 

 

https://rasavonwerder-william.blogspot.com/2023/04/new-face-book-group-join.html

 

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College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Rosa, Sam & Sam, the Prostitutes

 Rosa, Sam & Sam, the Prostitutes  2-7-23

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          Rosa, Anna’s mother, was a saint. One of the guys who hung out at her General Store suggested she put a sign in front, as all she had was ‘Open’ – lit up in red. He said to name it ‘Rosa’s Café,’ it sounded svelte – after all their gang sat there every day drinking coffee after coffee, but she said, writing something down,

          “Put this up there.”

          He looked at it & took off. He came back with a piece of wood four feet long, two feet wide. It was etched by a wood-burning rod in black – On top,

          “Love thy neighbor”

          and bottom,

          “As thyself.”

          And there is stayed forever more on top of the door. It was her motto.

Copyrighted Rasa Von Werder 2023, all rights reserved. This is part of the book ‘Church of Women’

          Many cases proved Anna’s virtue. One was Samuel. Samuel was a ‘maintenance man’ aka janitor, at the local school. He made decent money but why was his family so hard up? And why was his wife, Samantha, coming into the store & ‘round abut town with a black eye & bruises?

          The guys at the store hated Samuel, labeling him a whoremaster & wife beater, but when he came in, Rosa treated him with the same respect as anyone else.

“Good afternoon, Samuel, what can I do for you?”

He got what was needed. She smiled & said,

“Have a great day,”

and she said it with kindness, not like a machine.

 

 

One day he took his cup of coffee & headed toward the potbelly stove where the other guys sat – but their looks were so negative he veered around, went back to the counter & sat.

The guys later said to Rosa,

“Why do you tolerate him? Throw him out; tell him he isn’t wanted here.”

But Rosa said,

“That would be against God. Who am I to judge him? God alone is the judge.”

She was the same with the ones called ‘prostitutes,’ which the fair minded call ‘adult therapists.’

There were three females living nearby who frequented the tiny ‘red light area.’ It was a bar with an adult book store on one side & a diner on the other, all owned by city men & this area had both legit & not-so-legit practices.

These women hung there a lot, sitting in the bar picking up men, standing in front of the bar, walking up to men in the parking lot who stopped there or the adult store, or going into the diner on & off, especially to warm up in the winter.

When they found a customer the main place of practice was the parking lot behind the mall. No one went there except these people & those who worked in the three spots mentioned – the other stores – only the men who owned or worked in them parked or walked back there, the women felt unsafe. It was a large lot, most of the back of it gravel/dirt, large enough for two huge trucks if need be, & past that, wilderness.

These three ladies were friends & came to the Store from time to time together. You could instantly tell they were different. They were ‘poverty’ or ‘working class’ by their manner. Loud, crass & crude, they often chewed gum or smoked as they came in. They were ‘unrestrained.’ They were not beautiful or sexy in the movie star sense of the word, but they sometimes wore low cut tops or ‘pedal pushers’ {pants to the knees} with high heels. Heels were something none of the rural ladies wore except for special occasions like Church. But these females wore super high heels with platforms, a dead giveaway to their profession – perhaps they were advertising. In winter they wore warm thick coats, unzipped, which they would open & flash their bodies to potential customers.

These females would come into the store in the middle of the day. They slept until noon, at night they worked, so when they might amble in it was around two o’clock. The potbelly stove was crackling so they would take their sandwich & coffee & sit by it. They spoke sometimes loud, sometimes quiet, a unique way of conversation unique to them. Whisper, whisper, then loud laughter or exclamation. Quiet, quiet, then a raucous cry, on & on until their wares were done & they had to trudge.

Some of the regulars, both male & female, criticized Rosa for being nice to them. Rosa said,

“To me, they are like anyone else; God’s creatures. Why should anyone look down on them with hate? Doesn’t everyone do sex? Weren’t we born out of sex? If they do sex for money, it’s a business, they work to survive. They put food on the table, they have children.”

The critic would counter with,

 

“Yes, people have legitimate sex, inside of marriage but sex for money like this is a sin.”

And Rosa said,

“Don’t you have sex with your husband’s for money? Don’t they give you their paycheck, & part of your obligation is sex? If you stopped giving your husband sex, would he still support you?”

At that they were silenced.

“Whether a person sins or not is between them & God. What’s it to do with me? I treat everyone with respect.”

 

Back Story of the Red Light District – which later we’ll see Samuel Began Visiting

 

Matt & Bob Ricco had come into town from the city & took over the last three buildings, to the left, at the little mall. There were ten buildings in all – the extreme right housed the ‘redneck’ go-go bar where Anna later worked. The Ricco brothers had the adult book store, ‘sexy’ bar & diner. At first, they had no dancing in the bar. But they visited ‘Mr. Red Fox’ & saw the dancers & thought,

“If they can do it, we can do it better. It might be a good angle to jack up business & bring some hot girls in.”

This is the business setup, the details not yet explained. As I said, sex therapists hung around these three buildings. But the center of the action was the bar. They had an understanding/unofficial agreement with the brothers that went like this:

‘You hang around the bar, go up to a costumer & see if he wants to buy you a drink.’

 

The drinks could be FAKE or REAL. They cost $15 for the ladies & if the female wanted NO ALCOHOL she’d say to the bartender or waitress,

“Make mine weak.”

If she wanted alcohol in it – two shots, she’d say,

“Make mine strong.”

The bartenders put something with color into the large mug, whatever it was, soda, seltzer, so it would look legit. On the ‘drink menu’ it said 3 shots but it was only 2. The men never ordered these drinks, they were too weird. But if an outsider did, they’d get a real 3 shot whiskey with soda for $15.

If the male wanted to go further with the lady – get some ‘action’ they would go to a booth. Some of the new guys didn’t know the score & they’d sit with the female for a long time at the bar while she kept ordering these special drinks – she’d get $8 for each drink, the house $7. Most professionals did not see this as ‘good money’ & were eager to service the guy, so they would suggest they either go to a booth or, if they had progressed in their negotiations, behind the mall in his vehicle.

The booths were dimly lit. You could trip over your grey cat on the way to one. Each booth had a pack of handi-wipes – the kind you clean your baby’s diaper bottom with – on the table. If an outsider asked why they were there they would be told ‘to clean your hands after the food.’

But in reality it was to wipe up after hand jobs for the female & male. What they charged was what they could

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 get. If they could persuade the guy to give them $50 they did but if he refused they would do one for as low as $20. After the job was done they usually skedaddled as those phony drinks brought little profit, they had to move for money, & mostly the guys were done & left the bar.

          She’d either move toward another likely customer there or go outside to look for candidates. The average female worker could make $300 a night from about 7-8pm to bar closing at 1:00 or 2pm. Weekdays they closed at 1:00, weekends 2pm. Women worked as many nights as they could so based on this, they averaged $1,500 a week – more than minimum wage. It mostly depended on how the female hustled, not how she looked. Men would go blind after a few drinks.

          Now food: They served food but only hamburgers with potato chips or corn chips. They were large, with lettuce, tomato, onion & pickle if you wished. If a person didn’t want the hamburger the other alternative was all cheese – they would put 6 slices of American cheese on the bun, with the lettuce, tomato, onion & pickle. Some men didn’t want anything but the grilled bun & cheese. Whichever you had, it was $10.

          Now if a family came up to the bar to order food & drinks they were told that the food was only for people who worked there – please see the diner next door. Although they could legally have children in the bar as they served food, they didn’t want a child to go there & see a male or female cleaning up after sex, or to spot condoms in the garbage.

 

          There had to be two rest rooms. One was within the kitchen, back room area, where the dancers changed & any female therapists or employees had lockers they could keep their things. This was used by females & the owners – the other 2 or 3 male employees used the men’s room in the main bar. When females finished with guys in the back area they could return to the bar by the back door & fix up.

The dancers were a separate lot from the therapists, although they could participate in the drink business if they wanted. All the dancers were hounded for ‘drinks’ & then sex. But the average dancer had her mind on dancing & tips. The men could sit around two sides of the stage – not the side that would be facing the main bar area so people could see. These were the guys who tipped the most, some were generous.

          The dancing system was two girls a night, half hour on, half hour off. During the half hour off is when they changed & could sit with a customer for a minute, as time was short they usually got $8 out of the one drink. But to go to the bar they had to put on their street clothes, then come back to change again. This took time & energy, mostly they stayed backstage, rested, refreshed their makeup & had to go back on.

          The outfits of these dancers were much sexier than the redneck bar. The bottoms were sometimes more like ‘thongs’ & the entire bikinis were of material sometimes so thin you could almost see through. They were often custom made, as women wouldn’t wear such deals on the beach. They wore high heels with platforms.

          And their dancing was more suggestive. Matt said to one girl,

          “You ain’t doin’ it right. Jiggle your tits, bump & grind, lick your finger – this ain’t the high School Prom.”

Whereas at the ‘Mr. Red Fox’ they wore normal beach bikinis, bathing suits & halters with cut off shorts, flat shoes or barefoot, their dancing was not suggestive. This suited the type of clientele, all locals, some with family.

There was also the smell of weed coming out of the office. The origin was unknown, only that some of the staff smoked it.

          No, the Ricco brothers did not get ‘free sex.’ That is, they did not demand it. They were decent looking, masculine, wore expensive clothes. So many girls went after them they thought they were the cat’s meow. It was mostly their money & latching onto them for survival, it wasn’t love. Half the time the girls were having sex with them or anyone for work they were thinking of getting home, cooking dinner for kids & family, resting & wiping clean their minds of what they had to do.

 

          Matt was 5’10”, 39 years old, shiny salt & pepper black hair & dark eyes. He looked rugged. He wore double breasted dark suits with white shirts. Bob was gentle-looking, sweet expression, straight brown hair & brown eyes, a thin mustache, 36, he liked grey double-breasted suits with white shirts.

          Although they looked like ‘gentlemen’ in their suits, when they started to talk you knew they were low-class. The vocabulary & idioms they used gave them away & the crudeness also. They’d use phrases – to the girls – if they were mad like,

          “Sit your ass down over here,”

          or

          “This ain’t your beauty parlor”

          or

          “You ain’t the star here, I am!”

          You can take the boy out of the ghetto, but you can’t take the ghetto out of the boy.        

          The guys were usually not there at the same time, they had businesses back in New York City. What other businesses they ran no one knew.

 

          The adult book store was a hoot. One local man got a job there. There were booths where men could look at porno & masturbate. Charles had to take the cash till to the office past the booths. As he walked he slid & the cash till went flying. He had stepped on some sperm.

          This is the world Samuel entered when he started to go astray.

 

When Samuel’s wife Samantha, would come in with a black eye, she would hold the bruised part of her face away from people but the more she tried to hide it, the more obvious it became.

She tried to make ends meet with three children; a one year old baby, eight year old girl & ten year old boy. She shopped for clothes only at the thrift store. She bought most of their needs at the dollar or discount store & she went to the regular grocery only when she had to. In summer she had the greens in their garden, in winter the

 

General Store would get fresh stuff from an 80 year old lady with a greenhouse.

Their house was a tiny two bedrooms on a postage stamp property, in front of huge fields that belonged to someone else. It was not decrepit or ruined, no holes in the roof, walls were fine, no broken windows. But they had little furniture, most of it came with the house when they

bought it & a couple pieces they got from the Salvation Army, that was it.

          But then, it got worse. About a year prior to the crisis

Samuel began to drink more. His drinking was moderate – he & Samantha watched TV Friday & Saturday nights drinking beer or a bit of whiskey.

          But now he absented himself on the nights he got paid, every two weeks. He’d go to the red light bar & drink. A back room sometimes had a poker game {a con man deal you couldn’t win}; he’d go in & lose a couple hundred bucks. He’d come back in the bar, drink some more. One of the girls there or outside would approach him; he’d give in & take her in his truck to the back lot. He’d come back to the bar & drink some more.

          He’d come home late & Samantha would be waiting for the pay check. But the money was drained, there’d usually be six hundred left out of the nine hundred & fifty cash he would get.

          Bills had to be paid. There was propane gas, electric every month, in winter, the fuel bills were terrible. They had gotten a small wood stove in the living room but the heat didn’t reach the bedrooms. And the wood had to be bought, she’d run out of wood.

          One horrendous incident Samantha was driven to was the theft of baby aspirin. In a discount store she got her items, all necessities, {no luxuries for them}, when she spotted the baby aspirin. But she already had got all she

could afford in the cart. The kids complained of headaches from what was going on. She looked around – no one was looking, she put it in her vest pocket & moved on.

          But a saleslady had seen her & told the manager. He came over when she was checking out & said,

          “Would you like to pay for what you put in your pocket?”

          She took it out & placed it on the counter, saying,

“I’m sorry—but I don’t have enough money for this.”

          This was seen by the customer behind her, it was embarrassing. And the manager added,

“We’d like you to do your shopping elsewhere from now on.”

Dash it – this was one of her favorite discount stores!

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          Luckily, she had two dependable allies – Rosa at the General Store, & Joseph Leon, one of the regulars there, who was deeply in love with her.

          Joseph Leon had his own tale to tell. Ever since he laid eyes on Samantha he loved her. Sam was 33, he was 64 & married. He dared not show his love, he tried to keep his eyes off her when she came into the store. But the more he tried to avert his gaze the more it was noticed, as you could see his conversation stopped when she came in, his mind was diverted.

          His chance to meet her came when Rosa gave him a bag of groceries to take her.

          It was day – Samuel was at work, a good time to chat. Rosa knew better than to send a man there in the evening – husband’s get jealous, or else indignant by some man bringing help.

          But when he brought food she was grateful as the kids never got enough, milk for the baby was urgent, & sweets for the others were snapped up.     

 

Joseph then got the idea that if Rosa could send a care package, so could he, & that would give him the excuse to visit her. He didn’t tell her it was from him, he pretended it was the store but later she guessed it.

          After a while he told Samantha he was in love with her. He didn’t try anything – they never touched, but she now knew she had someone she could ask for big help. He wasn’t rich, but he was solvent; she wasn’t.

          Over that year he paid several bills for her, food constantly, electric bills, gas bills & even her taxes. They weren’t high as their property poor, but they had to be paid or the house could be taken away. All this was kept under cover, no one knew about it as her house was off to the side where you couldn’t see who parked there – he told no one – she told no one. Although Samantha was grateful she harbored no feelings for Joseph, she saw him as a father figure.

          But Joseph had other ideas. His mind ran to fantasies of Samantha leaving Sam & being with him. He imagined all sorts of setups. Samuel would meet another female – maybe one of the girls at the bars – & runs off with her. Samuel has a car accident & dies. Samuel gets sick & dies. Samantha gets tired of Sam’s shenanigans & wants to leave him & asks Joseph to help.

          Joseph liked his last fantasy the best. He’d find an apt for Samantha in the next state, not terribly far, about fifty miles hence. He’d get a van & quickly move her out while Sam was working. He would support her, could visit once a week & make love. If his wife died before him, he could then marry Samantha & live happily ever after. Anything is possible if you believe.

          But things were boiling over for the couple.

          Again, Samuel wasn’t coming home on pay day. Samantha called the bar – they said he wasn’t there. She didn’t believe them. She decided to do something she’d never done before.

          She couldn’t leave her kinds alone; she took them with her & went to the bar. She had the two older kids hold the baby. She walked into the bar & indeed, he was not there.

          But she knew about the parking lot behind. On a good hunch, she drove back there & there he was – in his truck with a female. At first, she parked discreetly & turned her lights off, spying on him. The light back here weren’t bright but there was a strong moon. She saw just him for a while, the female disappeared. She then saw him talking to her & giving her something. Was it money?

          She didn’t know what came over her, but she turned her car toward his truck – he was parked directed to the woods on the right side of the lot. She got behind him, put her bright lights on, hit the intermittent horn & jumped out of the car screaming, waving her hands & jumping up & down,

          “You beast! You take the food out of our children’s mouth!

          You waste money on other women!

         

You can get all the sex you want from me!

          I hate you – I hate you – I hate you!”

 

          There was another man in the lot busy with a female. He pulled out of there fast.

          The woman Sam was with quickly jumped out of his jeep & ran into the back door of the bar.

          And Samuel got out of there as quick as he could, some people were exiting from the buildings to see what was the noise.

          She screamed until he was out of sight, everyone back there heard her, the same tirade over & over. And she was justified. He was wasting all kinds of money on gambling – on alcohol he could drink at home – & sex when he could get it from his wife. What was wrong with him?

 

          She went home, shaking with rage & fear of what he would do to her. Their fights on Friday nights, Saturday mornings had escalated over the months. He would push her against the wall or hit her & then would stop, go to the bedroom, throw his clothes on the floor & pass out.

          She would then pick up his pants, take out his wallet & find what money was left & hide it under a floor board in the kitchen, a place he wouldn’t look. He’d wake up not

remembering & wondering if he spent the money, a female had rolled him or if his wife cleaned him out.

          But this night was a crisis & she was going to have it out when Sam came home, & she did.

          He arrived around 2:30 Am, she was waiting. As soon as he came in the door she began screaming, the same thing as before. Saying he was the most miserable wretch of a man, she hated him, he wasted their money, she couldn’t feed the kids properly & was late on bills. He was worthless, she was going to leave him.

          At those last words he not only hit her, but knocked her to the floor & jumped on top & began to strangle her. The table fell over as he did this & the kids woke up.

          They ran in screaming, pounding him with their fists but he didn’t seem to feel it. The boy opened a kitchen drawer, got out a hammer & hit him to the back of the head – it knocked him out.

          Samantha got up gasping for air, the kids were relieved she wasn’t dead. But Sam was out.

          They dragged him into the bedroom & left him on the floor. She put her face to his nose to see if he was breathing & he was. So he wasn’t dead. But usually he stayed unconscious from liquor for many hours – the conk on the head would help him stay that way.

          She told the kids,

          “We’re getting out of here.”

          Samantha had one ace in the hole. A sister lived about a hundred miles away, they could make it there. She took the money left in Sam’s wallet – abut $600.

          She took several comforters & pillows from the rooms, & grabbed whatever important things were needed. The marriage certificate on the wall she tore up. Everything else she could leave as her sister had these things.

The car Sam had bought her was a black Cadillac Eldorado, 15 years old. It had rust on the bottom, one of the automatic doors didn’t work, but the engine was fine.

         She felt a great relief as she pulled out of the driveway– the kids fell asleep quickly in the back; they were nestled in comforters & pillows. Samantha was gone.

 

          When Samuel woke up around 10 am he remembered nothing. But there was a note on the table,

          “Don’t look for me.”

          Samuel knew she had relatives including a sister, but he never met them, didn’t know where they lived or their addresses – & Sam’s sister would not be listed under her own name in the book as she was married.

          But he did look for her nevertheless. He called everyone she knew. He went to every store she shopped & looked inside & in the parking lots. He did this every day. No trace. Finally he went to Rosa’s.

          He walked in looking like a ghost.

          He asked Rosa if he could speak to her privately.

          Rosa asked Anna, her daughter to take over & took him to the kitchen.

 

          The kitchen was, luckily, far from the prying ears of other folks & they placed themselves at the table against the wall, each at a corner of the table, Sam his back to a wall, Rosa’s back to the door.

          “She left me!”

          Sam exclaimed.

         

“I can’t live without her! I don’t know what comes over me, but when I start to drink, demons take over & I can’t control myself!”

          He started talking in a mumbly tirade,

          “If she doesn’t come back to me, I’m a dead man. What have I done? Forgive me, God! I’ve sinned so much, so much, not meaning to, not wanting to, but I have, & I deserve punishment!”

          At that he got up & fell to his knees in front of Rosa & put his head in her lap, sobbing.

          Rosa tried to comfort him, not understanding the problem fully. She said,

          “It’ll probably work out. She’ll call you & you will discuss it & she will return.”

          He said,

          “But I don’t know where she went. I know she has a sister but I don’t know her name or where she lives. If she doesn’t come back I’ll die.”

          Rosa said every consoling thing she could think of, that he must keep his faith, not give in to despair, that this is temporary, every cloud has a silver lining, things will change, walk through the valley of death & fear no evil. God is with us & will not allow us to fall into the pit, give God a chance, etc.

          He listened & calmed down. She gave him a napkin to wipe his tears.

          He said thank you & good bye,

“You’re a good woman, Rosa, a friend to everyone. I thank you sincerely”

And he left. As he walked out the people in the store saw his eyes were swollen from crying.

All his efforts to find Sam had failed.

 

Joseph Leon was worried & angry. He hated Samuel, he now had all his dreams dashed, the dreams that kept him alive. Was his hope of joy finished?

But wait – she spoke of a sister. Maybe Samuel knew where the sister lived or at least her name. Surely, she would go there. If only he had a number, a town or a name, he could find her. He had to go to Sam’s & ask him. He’d get it out of him on the pretext he’d find her & persuade her to come back. So off he went.

The house was dark. He knocked on the door, no answer. Sam’s black pickup was there, so maybe he was asleep, most probably passed out from drink. He banged loudly. He went to every window, peered in, saw nothing. The back door brought no response. Then he saw a mallet – those things that have an iron head weighing a few pounds that you put spikes into a piece of wood to split it into firewood. He picked it up to bang on the door so even a deaf mute could hear it – Nothing. Suddenly, with that mallet in hand, all his unconscious rage shot up. If Sam was passed out cold nothing would wake him, why not just do what I feel like doing & destroy his house; instead of killing him, it’s the next best thing. So Joseph shot through the back windows, then the side windows, then the front. All the windows in the house were goners. No response.

He then went to Sam’s truck, pulled out his pocket knife & stabbed each tire, they all went flat. He then took that mallet & pounded the truck here & there & smashed the front window.

 

He heard a car coming in this direction; he quickly jumped into his & sped off.

It was the police – lucky for John they didn’t see him.

Sam’s employer had called – he’d not reported to work for days, did not answer his phone.

Seeing the truck & car, the cops immediately suspected fowl play. They had their guns drawn as they broke the front door down & looked around – no one was there. They saw a note on the table,

“I can’t live without her.”

They turned the note to the other side, where it said in different hand writing,

“Don’t look for me.”

They went outside, sifting through the weeds & shrubbery, but nothing.

Then they looked to the field beyond the house, way down, hundreds of yards, & saw vultures flying ahead – many of them. Could be a dead deer or a body, they better look.

They trudged down there & sure enough, there was Sam, lying on his back, arms open, a shotgun by his right hand. He had blown his brains out.

 

Samantha’s journey

 

    Samantha indeed, had reached her sister with no impediment. Her sister, June, had said many times

          “Don’t take his shit. The next time he might kill you. Come here & if he doesn’t straighten out, forget him.”

          Sam did love Sam, or thought she did. But the lives of her & her kids seemed more & more precarious. He was getting crazier, more violent.

          And the thing with the strangling was the final straw. He could kill her without even remembering. This she could not risk. Her sister had said,

“Who will take care of the kids if he kills you? They’ll put them in foster care, where they’ll be abused by the male.”

Samantha shuddered at this. It was life or death. That night of the crisis she flew with every fiber of her being to get out of that house. She called her sister to let her know she was coming – it was now about 3am so if she took but one break for coffee & donuts she could be there by 7am & so she was.

She saw Sam’s death in the local paper. It was on the News. People in their town were shocked, everyone babbled at the General store,

“We didn’t know Sam loved Sam – he was such a bastard.”

 

Samantha was now heir to their house. The real estate lady got an offer for $8k but 2k would go for new windows. It was good enough for Sam, the most money she ever had. The truck could have brought 1k, but in the condition Joseph left it, it was towed to the junk yard. And so Sam began her new life with what to her was a fortune.

It is also peculiar that Joseph, who loved her so much he spent about 3k on her that year, also deprived her of it by the damage he had done. {He went back to his humdrum life when she had disappeared, like the errant suiter of the beautiful married lady in ‘The Cherry Orchard” by Anton Chekhov.}

 

She settled in with her kids & June. June had three little ones also & a good husband – just a regular guy. There were four bedrooms, two downstairs, two upstairs. They let Sam have one bedroom for herself & the one-year old, while the other bedroom had the eight & ten year olds. Upstairs the husband & wife shared a room with their two year old in a crib, & their six & eight year olds had the other room.

Things worked out perfectly for the sisters financially, emotionally & practically. Samantha got social security death benefits – a check & monthly stipend. It was about $1,200. Now if a female lived alone with three kids this would be poverty. But here, with June, she didn’t have to pay rent, taxes, electric, propane gas & the like. This sum made her feel rich as she could use it for food, clothing & necessities, even tiny luxuries. She no longer felt insecure, or afraid, & that was priceless.

          June benefited equally well. She’d had two years of college; she worked as a receptionist in a large firm & liked it. But she met a man – they fell in love – & when she had kids – no more work.

          It wasn’t the money – they had enough as Ron’s job paid well – it was being stuck in a house with no connection with the outside world.

          At first, she had tried baby sitters but they all turned out unsatisfactory, she stopped looking for work.  

She had seen too much negative stuff on TV & from friends of children being harmed by baby sitters.  There was the twenty three year old female who took on a four year old female & six year old boy. She had a job at a fast-food place; she’d leave the kids with her boyfriend, who was sodomizing the son.

        The sis tried to help the bro but was kicked away. Eventually he had to have surgery on his intestines to fix the damage.

        Then there was the teenage male baby sitter – not abusive but neglectful – watching a five year old boy.  Filled the tub with water, let him bathe himself while he watched TV, the boy drowned.

        Females were not to be trusted either.  There was the nineteen year old Au Pair from Sweden who lit the fireplace, embers fell on the rug, fire started, she ran out of the house while the infant burned to death.  The parents tried to hold her accountable but the court let her go.  She was greeted by a parade in Sweden with her Dad, the FIRE CHIEF leading the crowd.

        She heard of many other cases, enough to make her stay home.

        A wise woman said that in the days of Matriarchy, women banded together in families.  Each knew the other intimately, if they had virtues or faults, if they could be relied upon or not.  But in a man-run world, women were separated, isolated, far apart, they didn’t know each other.  They weren’t families any more, they were strangers.  And so, reaching out to another woman for help did not mean the awareness of who she was or the loyalty that comes with blood.  You could put your hand out to one mentally ill, who appears sane.  You could find one unreliable like the girl who left the kids with her boyfriend.  All kinds of maladies & defects are in humankind & you don’t know if you’re hiring one of these for your children.

          When Samantha came, she took over the care of all the children, & she kept the house spotless & did most of the cooking. June knew she could trust her & she applied at her old job & got it.

          She went on a bit of a diet as she had gained twenty pounds. Bought a new wardrobe of beautiful dresses & business suits, high heels, fixed her hair & makeup, & put her best foot forward to the public. Doing this made her feel like a ‘lady’ again, to be admired & respected, not a frumpy, frazzled housewife always complaining what the kids had done or not done. In fact, Ron was tired of her endless patter of what the kids did.

         

Not only that, she had extra money & that didn’t hurt. She also had benefits – health insurance & a 401K savings plan.

          Samantha had good instincts. She knew what kids needed & she held both babies as much as she could, they needed rocking & close physical contact, & she also hugged a lot & spoke kindly to them & encouraged them in constructive activities. If they erred she corrected them gently not to frighten them.

          She also knew that couples needed privacy. Saturday weather permitting Ron played golf. It was good exercise for him & a sort of therapy. She & June took that day to kibitz, catch up, all the gossip women love.

          But Sunday Sam made herself scarce. She let June & Ron watch TV by themselves, she got a TV for her own room & set up games for the kids in their rooms or sometimes all together with her. She had a hot plate for coffee or quick snacks & a tiny fridge in the room. In summer she spent much of Sunday in the back yard with the kids. If June & Sam wanted to be there then she’d use the living room or her room – she understood the value of privacy. No matter how much she & June liked each other, she had to be alone with her husband – just her & him. Two is a couple, three is a crowd, & Sam wanted their arrangement to last, not to get broken for people stepping on each other’s toes.

 

         June & Ron were also free now to take tiny weekend vacations out of town & relax in luxury hotels.  Life got brighter.

Ron was planning to improve the back yard for the now six children, including swings, a slide, a merry-go-round, a sand pit & a baby pool.  He also said he’d get a barbeque out there. 

        Life was enhanced when the sisters united.

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Copyrighted Rasa Von Werder 2023, all rights reserved. This is part of the book ‘Church of Women’

College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Stevie’s Big Challenge

      Stevie’s Big Challenge  2-5-23

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Stevie was considered a prodigy within the

Convent {a venue is called a Convent within the Order when it’s a separate homestead with a variety of uses. It has a Temple & education facilities as well as all the amenities a home should have.} 

This article is copyrighted Rasa Von Werder, 2023.  It is to be part of the book ‘Church of Women’

        As explained before, he was a whiz at learning & to the grownups, declared ‘best dancer.’ But the kids – mostly girls – preferred Marjorie. She was their Hera who could dethrone Stevie to be #1.

Conflicts broke out. There were arguments, disputations, declarations of this or that. Why Marjorie was better, why Stevie was, on & on. Finally one day it came to a head.

Marjorie’s Mom was an English teacher & pubic speaker. She’d been published & once toured the country promoting her novel. {It was a young lady tale about her years at Vassar.}

All the kids were encouraged to speak publicly – part of the comprehensive education set up by the Foundress. They were asked from the age six to speak on stage or in front of the class – little things at first, like what they liked to eat, what kind animals they loved, what they did today & what they planned to do tomorrow. This graduated to what they thought about subjects they were studying, how they thought they could become good at their sport or dance, then higher subjects that touched upon the meaning of life & remarks about the doctrine & practices of the Order.

Marjorie’s Mom was especially eager for her to be highly respected & loved. She felt Marge was being

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somewhat cheated out of ‘first place’ in the Convent & on her next opportunity to recite, she should pipe up about that. The Mom coached Marge on the important principles to be voiced & rehearsed her over & over. Now the chance came.

        All had gathered for a dance class, the Elders were there as there were some demonstrations the teacher wanted them to see how the students had progressed. After that was the ‘sit down’ dancing everyone liked so many came early. Most of the fifty inhabitants of the Convent were there.

        Before class started the teacher asked if anyone wished to speak nor make an announcement. Marjorie raised her hand & was given the stage.

        She walked up confidently, even defiantly & began,

        “Our religion is one of female supremacy. Women are loved & respected as superior to men, with good reason.

       And so now, I cannot understand why I must be measured against a male, who in our religion is an inferior, & he is treated as if he is equal to me or even better & I resent being compared to him.

       I want this settled once & for all, that I am better than Stevie, & that is it. I don’t want to be in a contest with him every day.”

 

        The Members were shocked – this is an eleven-year old girl who had never spoken like this. They had not known she felt this way.

        The C.O. stepped forward & spoke,

        “Stevie, have you anything to say?”

       

 

Stevie was as shocked as anyone but as we said, a prodigy. He pulled himself together & said,

        “I agree with all the beliefs of our religion including that females are superior to males because of their two X chromosomes. We all accept that.

        But it doesn’t mean that all females are better than all males in all things.

        Even though Marjorie has two X chromosomes & I only have one, I’m not sure if Marjorie is a better dancer than me.

        We’re both good & to end this conflict, can we have a dance off & whoever wins, wins, & whoever loses takes it in a sportsmanlike fashion? I am ready for the challenge.”

         The C.O. came forward & said,

        “Clear the stage. I declare a contest to see who is #1 – Stevie or Marjorie. I will play the music, which will be unknown to them ahead of time. There will be between two to four minutes each composition & may the best woman or man win.”

        “And whoever wins, wins, & no more disputes. Everyone take your places,”                                  

       & she goes to the computer. The challenger, Marjorie, takes her place. She moans inside when she hears, from Prokofiev’s Romeo & Juliet, a dreary strain called ‘Dance of the Knights.’

        It’s like a drone, you have to be inventive, imaginative to make it interesting. It’s a piece that drags on without

 

highlights. Stevie does equal time & also strains to make it lively, with great effort. The best part is when she ended it after two minutes – no one knows who won.

        Once again, Marge takes her place. Ah, it’s a thumbs up, from John Strauss II, a type of dance called Czardas, Ritter Pazman, Opus 441. The first half is lyrical, slow, the second half strong & rousing. Teacher plays the entire piece which is over four minutes, so they are both out of breath when finished.

        Marge is exquisite, so graceful, like an angel wafting on clouds in part one, but part two, Stevie begins his leaps & he can jump much higher than her, so it’s apples & oranges.

        Teacher knows they must now recoup, as when people dance on stage, it looks easy to an audience, but they are emoting with every ounce of breath & ballet stars sometimes when leaving the stage, fall to the floor exhausted. She holds off from starting the music for a minute.

        Now the climax. Everyone gasps. It’s the marvelous ‘can can’ from Offenbach’s ‘Orpheus in the Underworld.’

        Both performers know this is short but faster than hell & must pull out all the stops.

        The audience even jumps to the tune, everyone is excited.

        Marjorie begins & she knows there isn’t much time, she starts showing off right away, jumping high in the air & landing in a split! Then she does some wide circle twirls, like big circles that end in fancy leg lifts, & she does her best leap again, & again, & again, always falling into a split, then wide circle leaps, even backward & lifts one leg back & bends it to her head for the exit! The audience cheers & cheers, this is spectacular.

        Can Stevie match or top this? He also puts his best foot forward, running into leaps like Baryshnikov, higher & higher, then stops for the amazing twirls called pirouettes, it seems the twirls will never end & the audience begins to fear for him like he might never stop & get dizzy-sick at the end, but he breaks out of it & does a couple of wild leaps where he does a split in mid air, end of story. Has he won?

 

        The C.O. comes forward now & says it will be decided by applause. She calls Marjorie forward & there’s wild screams & yells & frantic clapping.

        Then Stevie, the same thing & he gets a reaction just as loud, although, as was said before, the kids prefer Marge, the adults like Stevie.

        Both the Teacher & C.O. can’t figure whose applause was greater.

        They call forward the Chief, who’s sitting in the middle, away from the crowd. They ask for the applause again, she’s listening.

        She comes up on the stage & says,

        “The answer is obvious. From where I sat I could hear a balance from both sides. Neither one is preferred to the other, they are both appreciated equally. It’s a tie.”

        The audience approves, they are satisfied. Both sides did not want to lose, but this is OK, both are winners, neither one loses. Everyone is happy.

 

     To this lovely conclusion a leader of the ‘Good time Charlene’ ritual comes forward & sits on the edge of the stage. Everyone takes their seats in chairs or leaning on chairs or leaning on the stage. Most younger ones are on the stage, as they don’t mind moving their entire bodies, while some adults need to sit for comfort. And once more, the Charleston begins & all start moving, who said laughter is the best medicine?

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     mail (5) mail (4) mail (3) mail (2) mail (1) mail  

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College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Old Anna

 

2-4-23      Anna, Daughter of Rosa – Old Anna

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        When the kids from the Order met Anna she was seventy seven. She called herself ‘half blind,’ not knowing that a remedy was at hand – removal of the cataracts could correct her vision drastically. But she had no one to take her on several appointments needed prior to surgery – so she let it go, just getting by with what she had. She was severally nearsighted & had ‘floaters’ – bits of darkness in front of her retina, trash in the eye that usually gets flushed out, but it wasn’t. When she took off her glasses everything beyond a foot in front of her was blurry. 

Copyrighted by Rasa Von Werder, 2023, all rights reserved.

  This is part of the book being written by Rasa ‘Church of Women’ 

        This is how Stevie & his sister met her, in front of her ‘shack’ which was not really a shack but looked like it from the outside – inside was beautiful & every amenity you could want – it had been repaired & equipped with many what seemed to her ‘luxuries’ {as she had lived with her Mom in relative poverty all her life.} We shall get to her married life later, where the husband of Anna fixed her property to a large degree – he worked in construction.

        Little Stevie was the ‘boy wonder’ of the Order, just ten years old. He now lived in the Mobile Home Park affiliated with the Order – a wonderful place. His Mom continued living at the Convent with his four sisters – all boys upon reaching the age of ten had to leave the Convent & live elsewhere – the Mobile Park was not far, he lived with a Member of the Order who loved him dearly – he was allowed a dog there,

he wanted a ‘Toto’ but they didn’t have one at the shelter – he got a Beagle weighing about 30 pounds, a sweet rascal he named ‘Mover Good Foot’.

The lady he lived with – Theresa – had an apple tree right next to the home & made wonderful pies which she topped with whipped cream for Stevie. The dear boy visited his Mom almost every day, Theresa took him there & brought him back, or he walked alone the 20 min trek.

Stevie was a wonder for two reasons – his talent & his intelligence. The resident Doctor of the Convent – Maude Leena – had a psychology degree & a genius – {never without a book in her hands, the study of psychology, sociology, human & animal behavior & medical remedies – had given him an IQ test which determined the score of 150. He was also the best dancer– that was debatable among the kids but the Elders said he was.

{All the kids & even Elders of the Order danced daily. There was a paid female ballet teacher one day a week, then a volunteer who had been on the stage – she set up various programs where they practiced first one type, say ballroom, for a few months, then what you might call ‘modern dance’ which was pseudo ballet, then a potpourri of contemporary dances starting with the Charleston & ending with rock’n’roll. This volunteer was a Member who lived off premises, she came every day but one to put the Members through their paces. They first had to do the exercises of the ballet Mistress. They were told that they must not only stretch but strengthen every muscle, & you

had to keep this up as long as you wanted to perform. So each & every day saw 20 minutes of this routine & it enabled some to do high leaps & even splits in the air eventually. Little Stevie stood out & he had one brilliant female challenger– eleven year old Marjorie.}

They also did ‘sit down dancing’ many days, especially when it rained or in winter {although they were encouraged not to fear the cold – it’s been said there’s no bad weather – only bad clothes. Bundled up, they braved zero degrees outside for short treks, little kids as well as Elders. Some members prided themselves on their ability to face the cold & worked or played outside in bitter weather for hours. But kids were monitored strictly with super warm clothing, making sure to put thick boots & gloves & cover their heads & necks.} – almost daily the entire Membership sat in chairs or leaned on them or the stage {they used the huge barn @ this point for their home & it had a stage} & music with a good beat was played – often that of the ‘roaring 20’s – & a leader with dance experience would sit in front suggesting moves – they could follow or make up their own – & that way everyone got good exercise even if they were older with arthritis or bad hearts & could not prance around. The kids from any age they could walk were put on the stage – {they had a stage in the huge remodeled barn where this took place} & the grownups sat in their chairs below the stage, with

the leader sitting on the edge facing them, the kids mostly on stage jumped, danced & pranced, some even did somersaults or splits. {This ritual they called ‘Good time Charlene.’ It was practiced after sunset in summer when you could no longer do gardening, weeding, landscaping or play the usual sports.}

Sometimes an individual on stage was ‘on fire’ with the music & lost him or herself & everyone would stand back, let her emote, clapping & cheering. Chair dancing lasted one hour average 6 days a week, not even counting the regular dance class – so many Members were practicing two hours a day or more! If they were busy with other projects it would be skipped – but not often. If two days went by without the chair dance people complained – it was therapeutic. The Elders said it alleviated their stiff joints & muscles & helped their bowels. {If someone loathed it, were preoccupied or tired, they could stay in their room, work in the kitchen, tend to their computer work *some had projects for the Order like Social Media sites as their Journals, or blogs for their Journals or highlights & meaning of the Order, etc.* or do something else. It wasn’t mandatory. Some who already danced one hour might skip it.}

Stevie did not have to go back to the Convent for regular School, as they had that at the MobilePark – but he wanted the extracurricular stuff. And he loved dancing & many other classes, so visiting was not just to hug Mom & tease his sisters.

        On one of these visits it was noticed that their beloved cat Tommy was missing {he was dark tigerish with a heart on the back of his neck} {every family in the Convent was allowed a pet cat but no dogs, as dogs would make too much noise & would also chase the cats & go crazy at the wild animals feeding outside in the ‘Beastaurant’} – & he would stay away for a couple days at a time. Pretty soon he was absent as much as present. This was a mystery no one could solve. Stevie wanted to solve this by following Tommy & asked Mom for permission.

He took his eight year old sister Margie with him & off they went, following Tommy into the woods a good distance away so he wouldn’t get skittish, although he paid them no mind. They walked so far, through so many ups & downs in the wilderness including crossing creeks; the half hour felt like two.

But finally they came to a clearing & saw a dirt road & a sort of shack on its far side, & Tommy meowing loudly outside its door, with an old lady coming out & greeting him warmly.

“Oh, my good Johnnie’ she exclaimed, stooping down as if she wasn’t sure.

“Is it you Johnny?”

She petted him & recognized him after getting close {she had other cat visitors!} & said,

“Come inside, I’ve got some chicken on the stove, it’ll be ready in a few minutes. We’ll eat hearty!”

And they went in.

“So that’s where Tommy goes!”

Exclaimed Stevie & his sister said,

“If she gives him chicken every day & pets him a lot, he must like it here.”

They were trying to figure out if they should knock on the door but were afraid. After a while they stepped closer. They could hear chickens & a rooster in the pen. Behind the shack beautiful Wisterias climbed up the pines to 100 feet. There was a large lilac grove to the side of the place, all emitting a lovely fragrance. They stepped on the porch, which did not have an awning & there were plenty windows in front. They could see plants on the window sills. To knock or not to knock? Finally they did & old Anna opened the door.

“Yes?”

She said.

We’re here to see where Tommy goes & we followed him, he’s our cat, we just wondered where he went.”

“Aha, this is your cat? And who might you be? And I apologize if I have kept him at times, but he’s been free to go, he likes to visit. I call him Johnnie. Please come in.”

The kids were a little nervous but Steve put his foot to the door & didn’t want his sis to think him a coward, she followed after him.

They were surprised to see how beautiful it was inside. All huge logs could be seen making up the walls, the ceilings had beams. Windows everywhere, all neat & clean, beautiful brown fur sofa & couch with foot rests, a standing wood furnace in the living room with glass door – must be cozy in winter Stevie

thought. Thick throw rugs, also brown, were here & there.

“Come into the kitchen, I have fresh corn bread with butter & strawberry jelly if you like – And tea or orange juice. Sit at the table.”

Tommy rubbed against their shins as they sat down at table.

They noticed more of the ambience. There was a wood-burning stove for cooking & baking, black iron with white porcelain trim, & a gas-burning stove right next to it. This was neither a shack nor a rugged ‘homestead’ – something in between, all the rustic parts plus today’s conveniences. And as they looked through an open entrance from the kitchen they could see a laundry room which housed a washer & dryer, a table for sorting & a line where some delicates hung.

They glanced at the window sill which sported jars with dandelions, a big aloe vera was on the sink frame reaching its branches to the light, & scallions & a red geranium. All the floors were wood, stained & polished black.

Finally they got to talking.

Stevie & Marge explained their Order in a few sound bytes:

“We live in a religious Order, we believe in a Mother God & we’re different than other people. We have a couple buildings we call ‘The Convent’ & we also have a Mobile Park where some of us live – where I live right now.

It’s a wonderful place. We study all kinds of subjects, we play sports every day & we have dancing lessons. We learn all sorts of things besides regular school; we have a lot of fun.”

“It sounds great,”

Says Anna.

“My name is Anna. I’ve lived here all my life. My Dad was a farmer, my Mom ran a General Store where I helped her & when she died, I ran the store until there was no business. All the people moved away when the new highway was put in. My old friends died or moved to Florida. The houses around me were either abandoned or bought by outsiders who use them for summer – all kinds of city people & foreigners. I don’t know any of them but see them drive by or in town. This road now, I sit on the porch at times & only one car an hour passes by, all strangers.

I have few friends now, mostly Herbert who stops by to check on me. He lives in a little room in his barn, he doesn’t have a phone. I’m kind of isolated so it’s nice to have you guys visit.”

They continued talking, Marge bragged about her sports – she was expert at croquet & was already a cook. She had learned to bake tiny loaves of bread since age six. {Anna was querulous re this but did not voice her doubt.}

Then Stevie jumped in. There was some music on the radio & he exclaimed,

“I’m the best dancer in our group!”

And jumping out of his seat he proceeded to dance in an empty space between the kitchen & living room, doing a small leap & then twirling round a dozen times like Baryshnikov.

Anna was amazed & beginning to believe what these kids said was no hot air.

“How could you do that at such a young age?”

He said,

“We dance every day, not only the kids from the time they can walk but the oldsters like you!”

Anna’s tea was unusual – she gathered red clover & Yellow Dock from the fields all summer, dried them in the bottom of her oven, & would add some peppermint leaves. The kids accepted brown sugar & condensed milk with it; it was delicious. Anna mentioned that she used a sprig of aloe leaf in her salads, as it was as powerful as garlic for health – no bitterness, just a bland taste & sticky, went well with mayonnaise. They ate the aromatic corn bread with butter Anna had received from a neighbor who churned it from her own cow. After their snack Anna took them outside to see her chickens – ten of them with a rooster, fancy breeds, some with colorful plumage. She said her friend Herbert had brought them to her as chicks & said they were special. They had a nice pen which Herbert fixed so you could move the fenced in part to new areas – attached by a tunnel to their house – it wasn’t big but after the hens scratched up the ground completely no grass would grow so by moving it, they got fresh new grass. It was rotated every week or two. Anna told them,

“When Herbert first brought them there were twenty five chicks. But half of them were roosters. And you can’t have more than one rooster to ten hens as they jump on their backs, & tear off all their feathers until there’s only raw skin left. You have to use the roosters for food, which means a chicken in the pot every Sunday, until there’s only one big guy left. And the hens we keep until they can’t lay eggs any more, than they go into the pot. And every summer we let one or two hens lay on their nest {in a special brooding spot where the other chickens won’t bother them} & brood new chicks. And of course that provides new roosters for food every year.

I used to have a cow {& her calf} for milk, butter & cheese, & a couple goats but when Mom died & I ran the store, I had to give them away. I didn’t have time to take them to pasture.”

They exchanged all pleasantries until Steve & Marge had to go. Tommy stayed behind as Anna took out a huge chicken from a 16 quart pot & was cutting a good piece for him into bites.

Stevie & Anna hurried back & when they arrived breathlessly told Mom & friends they had solved the mystery of Tommy. They told them about Anna & her plight & her eye problem, all listened attentively.

Then Dr. Maude said,

“We shall find out where Anna lives so we can get there by road. If you can describe what direction you took I think I can find it on the map. Anna might be a good person to know – if she needs help, we can give it. And she might help us – She might be a good member for our Community.”

And so they did. They found out how to reach Anna by road. The first line of business was the eye condition. Dr. Maude told Anna they would provide the rides to get all the tests done – & that cataract surgery could correct her vision to a point of seeing 20/20 either far away or close up – besides that she’d use glasses. Anna was overjoyed, & so it was, & the adventure with Anna began, & many more things happened which we will relate.

 

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