College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

MAN TAKES OUT HEART, BRAIN

MAN TAKES OUT HIS HEART & BRAIN TO INCREASE HIS PAIN

OVER A BROKEN HEART

          One of the most gruesome dreams I’ve ever had

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Man has had a heartbreak so terrible that for some strange reason he wants to inflict himself beyond belief. He wants to feel his pain {strange logic} to the nth degree.

          He’s standing there like in the middle of the street & takes some kind of a tool, opens his chest, & begins to remove his heart bit by bit. It’s hard to watch. I saw pieces of his flesh all over the street around his feet.

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          *(MAN IN THE STREET: This is my friend, & this dream will explain a trauma that came upon him when he was a boy – that is affecting him even today as a grown man. Something awful happened to his family, a great reversal of success. Let’s call my friend Sargie.

 

          Sargie was just a little tyke when this happened, but he is an EMPATH, sensitive or medium. He took the pain of his family INTO HIMSELF, in other words, as if it was his responsibility, like Jesus taking up the Cross for sinners. He carries this cross even in life today & it is affecting his success—blocking him from it.

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          Here you see the gruesomeness of being an EMPATH. He increases the pain of what happened into his own heart & brain – which work together. He has absorbed the pain in his mind & emotional system.)*

 

          Later I see pieces of his heart, like strips from liver but pinkish, laying about, blackened on one side.

 

          *(STRIPS OF HIS HEART LIKE LIVER, BLACKENED: This is Sargie’s emotional system. The blackened slices are where he’s seriously hurting – black or being burned can refer to loss, destruction, death, depression, etc. {it can also mean good things like the unknowingness of God, mysteries.

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The reason LIVER is used as an analogy is saying ‘he’s hurting in a place that is vital.’ You cannot live without your liver – you can live without appendix or gall bladder, but not liver. This is crucial to one’s health, this is serious. He’s hurt in a serious way.)*

 

          Then he does the same to his brain. I don’t see as much detail in that.

 

          *{HEART & BRAIN AFFLICTED: Our thoughts & feelings go together, ‘As a man thinketh, so is he.’

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          Now when this tragedy / trauma happened to his family, he was small & could do nothing about it. He felt HELPLESS, WEAK.

 

          What I will try to do is the famous hypnotherapy trick: REFRAME HIS THOUGHTS. Indeed, the way his thoughts are phrased, as the situation was presented to him, it was like the ‘end of the world’ for their survival. He could do nothing so this gave him a DEMORALIZED, NEGATIVE FEELING ABOUT HIMSELF. In other words,

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          “I am weak, incapable of helping or saving my family.”

          Now to the situation of today, when he harbors the same thoughts & feelings, he feels the same negativity about himself – like he’s a failure rather than a success, he’s weak & can do nothing.

 

          To remedy the situation we’ve got to go back to the past & instead of MAGNIFYING IT {which his family did & he continues doing} we must MINIMIZE IT down to nothing – like there really WAS NO TRAUMA, his family really did not suffer IRREVERSIBLE DAMAGE, it was just the attitude that made it seem so. Nothing was really lost, it was just a BUMP IN THE ROAD, a shakeup that happens in all our lives, nothing that cannot be dealt with, one simply must use WISDOM & VIRTUE to face these things & THEY WILL BE SOLVED.

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          He must believe in his families solvency, that not much if anything was lost – what hurt can be corrected & then HE WILL REGAIN HIS CONFIDENCE, SENSE OF BEING STRONG, FAITH IN THE GOOD ESPECIALLY IN THE GOODNESS OF GOD WHO IS ALWAYS WITH US & CAN DO ALL THINGS, ETC.

 

          FAITH, HOPE, CHARITY, CONFIDENCE, FORTITUDE, PATIENCE & LOVE FOR HIMSELF are the virtues that will see him through. Believe in the good & it will happen. Believe in the power of evil & it will pull you down. Dispel this belief in evil – Resist the devil, his works, his thoughts, his negativity, & he will leave.

 

          We will work on this. I will discuss this revelation with my friend, we will work it out, he will be healed.)*

 

          Amazingly, he’s not dead. He continues to live, & another phenomenon I see this same person becomes a female, & this is so strong that I even thought upon first recalling the dream, it happened to a female, but thinking deeper recalled it started with a male.

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          *(BECOMES A FEMALE: This condition / feelings & thoughts) is TRANSFERRED TO A FEMALE – myself as an empath / medium / sensitive, so I would UNDERSTAND what is going on inside him.

 

          The STRIPS OF FLESH BLACKENED, are the parts of his feeling system that are BURNED or BADLY HURT are TAKEN OUT or REVEALED – I see what has happened. It is revealed to me as a mind reader or reader of hearts.)*

 

          The dream goes on to other scenes. Myself & another person are traveling & we need to check into a place for the night.

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          We find a reasonably priced place, we check in & it’s for the week. He is fast asleep in the room to the left, surrounded by light grey bedding, he needs rest badly. The only disturbance or noise is down the hall, a group of female college students have checked into a room or rooms. What a hullabaloo. I’m not bothered but just curious about their psychology, why so much noise?

 

          *(HE IS FAST ASLEEP: He is unaware of how his thoughts & feelings are affecting his entire life including ambitions for success. Being asleep can mean ‘unaware,’ ‘waking up’ can be ‘I now see & realize the truth.’)*

 

          I look down the hall where they are – for some reason they have mattresses with white sheets, all in a messy pile {they are at the end of the hall} against the wall, stacked up on their sides, the fitted sheets are slipping off.

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          *(COLLEGE STUDENTS, NOISE, MESSY, MATTRESSES & OTHER THINGS: This is a member of his family who transferred pain onto the little boy, he being a sensitive or empath received it into himself.

 

          This person appears as a college student because they are IMMATURE – She was immature in her reaction to the family trauma, she did not deal in wisdom. The NOISE of the students is female students downtown where I hung out for ten years are ALWAYS SCREAMING. This is their reaction to stimulation – scream – it’s like HYSTERIA, would be emotional reaction without contemplation, reasoning, logic, just FALLING APART.

 

          As I said before, she transferred her hysteria or negativity to the boy instead of dealing in wisdom – She was unable to rise to the challenge, to conquer the Mountain, the situation crushed her & affected her life & happiness. She has never gotten over the trauma in these many years. He carries this with her.

 

The MATTRESSES PUSHED INTO THE HALLWAY, with white fitted sheets slipping off, against the wall, messy: Is the situation – a relationship ended.

 

AGAINST THE WALL is ‘at the end of my rope’ or where the wall is, is where I can go no further, the wall stops me, I am ‘against the wall.’)*

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          Then I decide to clean the floors in our room/s. I take a broom – the floors are quite dirty. I sweep everywhere including under bureaus, stretching my arms to get in there as even with the long broom handle its not easy, but I manage.

 

          *(THE ROOM HE & I CHECKED INTO: This is the place of where my friend’s mind & heart are. I see inside him, inside his relative’s mind, it has been transferred to me mentally. I am

 

          SWEEPING THE ROOM: Under bureaus & difficult places to reach, I am STRETCHING & leaning into places that are hidden – this is his mind, where negativity harbors & we must remove it.

 

          As I said my strategy is to REFRAME HIS TOUGHTS which will realign his feelings, we will minimize, stop maximizing the situation that happened. We will bring hope & love, acceptance & faith where previously there was despair & resentment.)*

 

          My thought is I’m glad none of the maids are bothering us, letting us be for the week, just allowing us to stay, do our own cleanup, leaving us alone. We need privacy for the time being – recovering from something difficult, both of us.

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10-27-20-GOOD HUSBAND BRINGS GIFTS

 

                     I see my good husband Rich vaguely. Mostly see the gifts he brings. Why he brings them, for what occasion, I have no idea.

 

          There is vaguely a bottle of perfume the same as in a previous dream, like half a quart, the best perfume there is.

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          *(GOOD HUSBAND:      Means the person I love, the Lover I describe under many names – is in a good attitude toward me right now. The gifts will explain what he’s feeling toward me.

 

The perfume is holiness. {Scent of holiness} He either acknowledges mine or else has acquired his own, so he’s giving me his grace if it’s his own.)*

 

          The most UNUSUAL gift is a small hat, small enough to fit a toddler. It’s white, all knitted out of pieces, the pieces are designs & flowers, & you can see petals sticking out from it.

 

          *(TODDLER HAT: He’s now submitting to me in marriage or with a pure heart {white} as if he is my child – which spiritually he is – he is giving himself to me, saying,

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          “Here I am, your underling & happy for it. My head is now right; I understand your value & our relationship. My head / thoughts are to be One, I accept it. The

 

          FLOWERS & PETALS: mean love, romance, the petals are bits of that, the ones ‘sticking out’ are his concern about ‘she loves me, she loves me not’ have turned him around. Absence made his heart grow fonder or another twist I add is ‘Absence makes the cock grow harder.’

 

          He has, over this time, seen the light, computed that he needs me, misses me, I am important to his life, he gives himself to me in his mind. But why doesn’t he call? Obviously not ready. ‘Be still & know that I am God’ is my mantra here. No anxiety or chasing. Let it be until he’s ready to move.)*

 

          There were two other items, at this moment I can’t recall.

 

          He’s joyful as he presents these things to me.

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10-24-20-LOVER OWNS TINY FOOD STAND-

MY HEAD SCARVES-NEWSPAPER  

 

               This dream proves my Lover is concerned have I ended it? So he cares…………………………..

 

          I’m on a long, difficult journey. A tiger is in my way at one point, I am ‘way out’ in a rural area, many miles in all directions & I need to get back to the city. Finally see a bus stop should take me back, a guy is standing by it.

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          *(TIGER: Tiger is usually ANGER. I might have been feeling angry due to my computer breaking down – thank Heaven it got fixed. Or it might be re the Lover not calling me. This doesn’t explain why, but it shows me swimming into ‘deep water,’ getting away from the Tiger & getting back on the road – so whatever reason I had it, I conquered it. Then again, it might be someone else had the anger, maybe my Lover as I’m not chasing him.

 

          Being ‘LOST’ is being lost mentally / emotionally, trying to find direction, a goal, getting somewhere. It might have to do with my Lover as he is the main character here.)*

 

          I then stop at a tiny restaurant/food stand. There aren’t any places to sit, you get your food to go I think. I stop here not because I’m hungry but just to rest or take a break.

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          The man who owns this place, I see him to the left as a ‘working class’ type fellow, like a Greek cook I used to know – chunky built, in white colors & a white full body apron – he is cooking a beautiful dish on his grille {the kind of grill that’s solid, thick black, not barbeque style}. The problem is my blue scarf is embedded in the dish & I tell him it is, & I’m pulling with all my might to get it out of there – he doesn’t answer my protests.

 

          The dish is one made of rolled flour & it’s made into an envelope & inside the envelope is vanilla cheese, it’s sitting there sizzling & looks good. It’s about 8” long & 4” wide, quite thick.

 

          *(VANILLA DISH WITH CHEESE: This represents SEX. It’s his inviting penis with the sperm inside – the cheese is sperm. ‘On the grille, sizzling’ is the sex we both loved – it’s like food, emotional nourishment. But-

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          MY HEAD SCARF IS INTWINED, I STRUGGLE TO PULL IT OUT: I do not want my sex desire or yearning, longing to have sex with him any more – I wish to remove this desire, to be free, & I do remove it.

          This desire makes me desperate, makes me chase him, but without it I can hold out forever & he has to rethink his relations with me. I’m not his whore any more.)*

 

          Another item is that my Lover – who seems the same as the owner of the rest. – has asked me to purchase today’s paper, which costs $6. Why do I do as he asks? This is an expensive paper, & I’m going out of my way to please him although he might not deserve it. I reach for my purse or wallet & don’t have it. But my left pocket has a few dollars & change including nickels & pennies. I tell the owner take the money I have, I have no more, it should suffice even if it is not the full $6.

 

          *(NEWSPAPER: This is news, announcements, information. He wants to know about us. He asks me, at my expense, to get this information. What is my expense? Does he read these dreams on my site? I doubt it.)*

 

          What Lover / owner wanted to know was what was on the heading of the very large paper. To me it seems like OBITUARY headings in the middle – no big headlines, just announcement in small letters – he just wanted to know if his name was on it. I read it – & tell him his name is not there, he isn’t famous today.

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          *(NEWSPAPER HEADLINES ON TOP IN SMALL LETTERS, OBITUARY: Ha ha, so funny, this simply explains what Lover wants to know. Am I through with him? Is he dead to me? – his name at the top of the obituary? No, we’re not finished I tell him.)*

 

          Then on my way out I notice two of my other scarves are on a bin in the middle of his place, one white background, smaller, one blue background. Do I demand to take these or do I let it go? Well to prove I own these will be a bother, I just think, let it go, let it be & I leave.

 

          *(TWO SCARVES I LET GO OR JUST LEAVE: This is my ‘head’ or thoughts, wishes, to be with him, to be married. So what if I have these thoughts, as long as I’m not desperate to be with him as in the past, it doesn’t matter. I am relaxed.)*

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College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Shrine to Shakti, Uncategorized

DREAMS – LOVE & IDENTITY

 DREAMS EXPLAIN MY LOVER WILL RETURN TO ME SOON & SECOND,

I AM A WOMAN OF GOD,

MY WORLDLY ACCOMPLISHMENTS LIKE BEAUTY CONTESTS ARE NOT

IMPORTANT TO PROMOTE

– STICK TO MY IDENTITY, PROMOTE THE GOD SELF 

 

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SIGNIFICANT DREAMS explain two things. One my Lover still loves me & will enter my life in future, & two, my identity for promotion is not my shallow earthly accomplishments, but my ascending to the Throne of God.

10-22-20-Suicide & renewal

At first I thought this was about my friend Mary J, but it wasn’t. To my surprise, it was me!

I’m with friends out in the great outdoors, big scenery all around, mountains, woods, beautiful. Then we look into the sky & we see vultures or scavenger birds circling around. We see it as an omen someone might be dying. As we keep looking, then thse birds are right on the ground & we all say,

“This is not going to be – it is!”

 

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*(MARY JANE, OMEN/VULTURES: This is about my own death at the time of the heart attacks, the stress of what my Lover had been doing to me.)*

And we run to the spot to see who died. It’s Mary J! She has committed suicide I think, & two huge vultures, dark ones, are tearing into her. She’s wearing a light blue draped dress, her hair is between light brown & blonde, slightly frizzy, to the neck, seems a bit sparse like an older person’s.

*(SUICIDE: When you choose to love someone so much you die of a broken heart it might be called suicide, as you can stop loving a person to save yourself, but if you keep loving no matter what the pain, you ‘die of a broken heart.’)*

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Then a dark bird like a crow, sees us, & wants to take her body away because it doesn’t want interference, & this crow is strong enough to pick up her entire body, & as it does it takes her away to a deep stream & dips her in {I don’t know why.} Not sure what happens after that.

*(CROW TAKES HER AWAY, DIPS HER IN STREAM: Crow could be prophecy. Mother God, I need help.

She: The crow might be saying this had to happen in order for her to be cleansed of her obsessive love. Dipping in the stream is ‘stream of life,’ so the crow is saying ‘She has to get back to her God intimacy again. This death will do it.’)*

Next scene: Is a whole ‘nother ballgame. There is Mary Jane, alive, & there’s something to do with love & romance. She loves a certain guy but he’s nowhere to be seen, & I see her taking up with another fellow who is pictured as ‘The Hulk’ although he isn’t as bulky as him, but he’s real tall & dressed in black clothes.

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They are off by the side of the wall in this public place like a sprawling restaurant. They are left, back, against the wall, {facing it} & it’s her & Hulk & another guy – I can hardly see her because the other two are in front of her. There isn’t anything going on romantically.

*(HULK: There is no one in my life resembling this person but it might be my new webman Spencer, who’s tall – I’ve seen him wear black.)*

Then to the right comes a sight to behold: The man she loves, who she’s been waiting to come to her forever, he got wind of her & Hulk, he could not take it any more, {jealous, worried about losing her} he’s arrived, he’s entered the door with a couple male friends. He’s as tall as the Hulk, not as broad or bulky, thin, handsome, wearing a dark burgundy polo shirt, quite pleasing, {it’s stylish, the collar is up, I imagine the white polo emblem somewhere} & he’s surprised all of us. She hasn’t seen him.

 

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*(LOVER WALKS IN AFTER HULK: Might be a prediction that after you get going with Spencer, Lover will think it’s romantic & step up his game. His

BURGUNDY POLO SHIRT: Shows long-time suffering re you & that he wants to get back in ‘the game.’ The horse symbol is his penis–’horse cock’–& he wants to ‘play’ or have sex with me.)*

What worries me about her is as she stood there with Hulk she even had her leg doing the trick she often does – putting her leg {the left one} to point to the ceiling. Why she did this I don’t know, except that it’s to amaze or impress people. However, doing this might antagonize the true lover, make him think more was happening than was.

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*(LEG UP–HE SUSPECTS MORE THAN WHAT’S GOING ON: This is I have a ‘leg up’ on Spencer or having my way with him, not romantically, but getting along, working. But Lover doesn’t know what’s going on & has fear. This shows he loves me still.)*
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EARLIER DREAMS:

I was somewhere with a ‘ditsy’ Marilyn Monroe type girl, she’s short, brown hair, slightly bulky but curvy. She got hold of my suitcase somehow & out of it she took my bikini where I won ‘Ms Body Beautiful,’ she’s put it on, she looks curvy & terrific!
But the fact she had the cheek to take my things & use them! She’s trying to be popular but this is shallow stuff.

*(MARILYN MONROE: This is me in my flesh, trying to be a ‘somebody’ by referring to my past exploits in the shallow sense, like winning beauty contests. Lately I’ve been meditating what to do with my life, whether to promote myself as the Kellie Everts person who did this or that, but this is steering me away from that, saying it’s shallow, this is not who I am, I used the glamour to do God’s work, I was pushing my mission moreso than remaining fixed & focused on the shallow, transient things.)*

 

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Then I’m in a busy, crowded place where many gather, like a huge restaurant, & people are being evaluated like it’s a big thing about choosing people for movies. I’m sitting with friends against a wall looking outward, thinking what is my future?

When suddenly, of all people, my sister walks in. She is not expected here, she doesn’t ‘fit in’ but she has come to plead my case. She’s wearing a strange wig, streaked brown, it comes past her forehead so you can see some of her own hair. She looks slightly disheveled like she’s been through a lot.

*(SISTER: The logical, pragmatic part of me shows me the light. Appears to bring me back to the logical truth: I used my career for God, my career of being the glamour doll & body builder is not who I was/am, I am a woman of God before all else.)*

 

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She has two things in her hands to show us. First, she takes out a bottle of the finest expensive perfume, such a large bottle it’s maybe a liter, like Chanel#5. She holds it to us to show that this is MINE like a quality or something belonging to me. She holds it a while describing how wonderful it is & valuable, she smiles as she speaks with love.

Next she finds the red alligator purse, a large purse that seemed to be STOLEN from me perhaps by the Marilyn lady – it’s about 2′ across, 1.5′ tall, 4-5″ deep, of the most expensive alligator skin in a rich medium shiny red. She presents this to us & explains this also belongs to me, & her words I cannot recall but she said it was the most valuable possessions & she spoke with love. This RELIEVED the pain I had been having at being robbed of this purse, I was crying about it saying how all my most valuable things were in it including keys to all my stuff, but where was it? So sis appearing like this justifying me makes it a wonderful revelation.

*(REVELATION: the

PERFUME is the ODOR OF SANCTITY, the highest kind & it is great. This is the REAL ME.

The PURSE is the spiritual value of e, it is GREAT. This is who I am, the key is my spirituality, all else follows. Focus on that, this justifies me, explains me, not the trivial stuff of this world.)*

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College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

BUDDHA JESUS MARY APPEAR TO ME

BUDDHA  JESUS  MARY  APPEAR TO ME

  10-15-20  WORLD SPIRITUAL ICONS APPEAR

 

 

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          Remarkable answer to prayer. I was going through some great stress last night & worried about my physical health, future, & relationship with God. Prayed a long time, knew I was in the Kingdom of God, not on earth, I could feel it.

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          In the dream I do not see myself, I see another person who might be a male. He’s devout, seems to be important, & he’s been praying. He seems to be some kind of monk or disciple or something officially with God. I don’t see his body, just his presence to the left.

 

          On his right there is a stone staircase that goes up one floor to a flat area, behind it might be a wall or rock mountain. The staircase is made of rocks that are white & specks of gold or silver intertwined, they are all natural, nothing artificial from people, just rocks in nature.

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          As this man prayed, suddenly there materialized a person on the top of those stone stairs. He was so important it was scary, as this was a phenomenon rarely seen. He’s wearing a yellow robe with a dark grey collar, the collar flares out in the middle of his chest – it goes to the waist area.

 

          He then disappears and on a lower step a woman materializes wearing the black robes of a nun. I know she’s significant.

 

          I felt this man’s prayers summoned these significant persons & there’s great meaning here.

 

          *(The MAN is your flesh:

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          The first SPIRITUAL ICON is BUDDHA. The yellow gives it away, & he appears first & last, like the Alpha & Omego, like he’s the source of what’s being shown here, the beginning & the end.

 

          Next the NUN IN BLACK is Mother Angelica, who represents the HOLY MOTHER who you worship so much, & who was the subject of your prayers.)*

 

          Then below her on another step appears Pope Paul VI, all in white, with his arms outstretched upward as if in welcome.

 

          Then the man in yellow appears again beneath him.

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          *(POPE PAUL VI represents JESUS & Our Lord here represents the CHRISTIAN CHURCH.

 

          The big to-do about Buddah is that Christ was a Buddhist Guru born again, the three Wise Men Honored him & later picked him up, took him to India to study & work & returned him age 29 or 30 – the years Jesus disappears from the Bible.

 

          Jesus’ teachings are Buddhist, so Buddha is the ORIGINAL OF CHRISTIANITY, here shown.

 

          Why have they all appeared? Your prayers called out for guidance, help, consolation. You were sent away from the ‘interior life’-contemplation, into the miserable world & you have fallen in your INTIMACY WITH GOD.

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          When in the rhythm, mentality & thought-processes of the world, it is not the Kingdom of God, & out of obedience to God, you left her Kingdom to go back into the world – presumable to ‘have fun,’ except it wasn’t.

 

          You were in a PEACEFUL STATE, serene relatively speaking, FREE OF ATTACHMENTS to people & things, but being in the world all of that went the other way.

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          Your body breaking down, hurting, both your legs doing badly & making it hard to walk or work, have troubled you greatly. You are uncertain & called out to God with sincerity & faith.

 

          What does God want of you now, now that the ‘joyride’ is over more or less, but your body is hurting, you’re old, you don’t know how you’ll manage or cope in your old age, having no family near you, no husband, no one to help you in time of need. You felt pretty insecure about the future. Did you do the right thing when you went into the world or was it some sort of mistake?

 

          These spiritual leaders now appearing to you assure you you are in good shape spiritually, you did the right thing. They are here to show you WE ARE ONE, IN BROTHER-SISTER FRIENDSHIP, SPIRIT IS THICKER THAN BLOOD, YOU ARE IN THE FAMILY OF GOD & ALL THESE LEADERS WELCOME YOU, GREET YOU, GUIDE & CONSOLE YOU.

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          You came away with a new understanding. That you had to descend into the flesh not only for the time being for yourself, for physical pleasure or experience, but for future people who will hear about your life in books & movies.

 

          They need to know that God is with them in their every day desires, needs, attachments, fears, disappointments, failures & successes. They need to know they are not judged, condemned, hated, for the ordinary things in life – it’s only sin that is judged, not regular life, & drinking sex are ordinary, not sins per se {except in certain cases}.

 

         The future will know you were a woman of the people, not a lofty soul who once she saw God face to face did not want to go lower. You did return to the world to show love for humans – the way Jesus came from Heaven to suffer . He ate with ‘publicans & prostitutes,’ He was with the sick, the demonic, the fallen, the ignorant; he ate & drank with them & helped them. It wasn’t fun for him, He did it out of love, & you went back to the world on obedience to God, an act of love – it was the same as coming down from Heaven.

         

          This is part of the reason God wanted you to ‘stop celibacy, go out & have fun.’

 

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You must understand that your life will be recorded in future books & movies, & people will hear about you, pray to you for help. They need to believe that you understand their experiences; you were there, the same as them, even though you had ascended. You reached Nirvana/Enlightenment, & yet, you still wanted to return to the world & share love with people – not something all souls of your caliber would do; they know how much torture the world begets.)*

       

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