XXXXII<> Anti-Rape<> Porn
By Ajax the Great
THIS Is What A Real Anti-Rape Campaign Looks Like
Comments by Rasa Von Werder
Rape culture, or the attitudes and behaviors that promote rape and sexual assault, and/or blame, silence, or shift the onus onto victims, has been part and parcel of patriarchy for its entire 7000+ year history.
RASA SAYS: TRUER WORDS WERE NEVER SPOKEN. I GOT RAPED AGE 21, WENT TO THE D.A. TO PRESS CHARGES – HE WAS HOSTILE. IN THE END HIS DECISION WAS THAT I WAS LYING, A 230 LB BODY BUILDER, MR CALIFORNIA, WOULD NOT HAVE THE ABILITY TO RAPE A 130 LB FEMALE! I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP!
QUITE RECENTLY, A BOYFRIEND OF MIND ROBBED MY ATM OF OVER 2K & THE FEMALE D.A. & HER ASST. CAME TO MY HOUSE TO ASK ABOUT IT. ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS SHE SAID WAS,
“DO YOU HAVE MANY VISITORS HERE?”
MY HEART SANK IN DREAD—SHE WAS ASKING
“DO YOU HAVE MANY MEN OVER FOR SEX?”
THIS WOMAN WAS THE WOULD-BE PROSECUTOR OF THE THIEF & MY DEFENDER. BUT SHE WAS ACTING LIKE I WAS RAPED & THEREFORE SUSPICIOUS THAT I HAD MANY MEN OVER & WAS LYING. I WAS THE VICTIM OF A THIEF, SHE WAS NOW MAKING ME A VICTIM OF A POLITICIZED JUDICIAL JUSTICE SYSTEM. SHE WAS USING PREJUDICE AGAINST ME, EVEN THOUGH I WAS THE ONE INJURED, WHICH IS SO COMMON BY MEN & ‘DICKS IN SKIRTS.’
ANOTHER TIME, A WHILE BACK, A MALE BEAT ME UP & TRASHED MY APARTMENT. THE POLICE OFFICER WHO HANDLED THE CASED ARGUED WITH ME OVER & OVER TO DROP THE CASE. (AND THEY SAY THEY DON’T WANT TO TAKE CASES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE BECAUSE WOMEN USUALLY DROP THE CASE!) I DID NOT DROP THE CASE & THIS 32 YR OLD (I WAS SLIGHTLY YOUNGER) DID NOT DO ANY JAIL TIME BUT DID GET A FINE – PAID BY HIS MOTHER. THE FINE WAS ABOUT $750. – EVEN THOUGH I COULD HAVE USED THE MONEY (HE THREW PAINT ALL OVER MY APT, WALLS, FURNITURE) I GAVE IT TO A CHURCH.
So it is not surprising that, even in the #MeToo era, the tendency to victim-blame (to one degree or another) still persists even in some anti-rape campaigns. That is, the campaigns give Women the usual advice to not get themselves raped, as opposed to the “novel” idea of simply telling MEN not to rape in the first place.
RASA SAYS: I AM APPALLED ALSO HOW CHILD RAPISTS BLAME CHILDREN! ONE OF THEIR FAVORITE DEFENSES IS THEY WERE WATCHING PORN, SAW WHAT WAS BEING DONE & ENCOURAGED THE RAPIST TO DO IT TO THEM! DO ANY COURTS OF LAW BELIEVE THIS? & IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL TO WATCH PORN IN FRONT OF CHILDREN.
RIGHT WHERE I LIVE, NEARBY, A FRIEND TOLD ME THIS: A PEDOPHILE WENT TO A HOUSE WHERE THERE WAS A SEVEN-YEAR OLD BOY, KNOCKED ON THE DOOR, ASKED HIM TO LET HIM IN TO USE THE BATHROOM.
ONCE HE GOT IN HE WAS RAPING THE BOY, THE KID WAS SCREAMING & THANK GOD A NEIGHBOR LADY HEARD IT & CALLED THE POLICE.
POLICE CAME & CAUGHT HIM & HIS EXCUSE WAS HE WENT TO THE BATHROOM, THE BOY SAW HIS PENIS, GOT EXCITED & MADE HIM DO IT. I DID NOT MAKE THIS UP.
Or, to put it as bluntly as possible, “make sure the other girl gets raped instead”. Because, let’s face it, that is the cold, hard reality. Predators will target the proverbial weakest antelope of the herd regardless of who it happens to be.
RASA SAYS: AGAIN, TRUER WORDS WERE NEVER SPOKEN. ACT SWEET, KIND, DEMURE, PASSIVE & YOU ARE TEN TIMES MORE LIKELY TO BE A VICTIM OF AGGRESSION THAN THE TOUGH COOKIE.
THE ANCIENT PIONEERS LIKE COLUMBUS SAID HOW ‘NICE & FRIENDLY’ THE INDIANS WERE, & THEY WILL BE EASY TO USE UP, EXPLOIT, TURN INTO SLAVES.
A notable exception to this persistent tendency, however, is
Vancouver‘s “Don’t Be That Guy” campaign that began in 2010 and was so successful that they brought it back just a few years later. The rate of sexual assault dropped by 10% in 2011, which is impressive considered that it had been rising in the several years leading up to it. And another big Canadian city, Edmonton, Alberta, has also decided to emulate such a successful program as well.
RASA SAYS: I AM IMPRESSED BY CANADA. I WAS TOLD THEY DO NOT PERMIT MALES TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH PROFESSIONAL CHILD CARE – BRAVO!
I KNOW A FAMILY THAT BELONGED TO A CULT CALLED ‘CHILDREN OF GOD’ & THEY WERE ACCUSED OF CHILD MOLESTING. THE PARENTS SIMPLY GOT ON A PLANE & LEFT THE COUNTRY. A FRIEND OF THEIRS TOLD ME THE STORY. I ASKED WHY DIDN’T THEY FIGHT THE CASE? HE SAID,
“IN CANADA ONCE YOU ARE ACCUSED, YOU HAVEN’T GOT A CHANCE.”
I DON’T KNOW IF THEY WERE GUILTY OR NOT BUT THEY HAD TO LEAVE THEIR CHILDREN. AND IF CANADA IS THAT TOUGH WITH CHILD MOLESTERS I DO GIVE THEM CREDIT AS NO ONE ELSE IS TOUGH (EXCEPT MALE JUDGES AGAINST WOMEN IN AMERICA, THEY ARE WAY OUT OF LINE IN THEIR JUDGEMENTS-WOMEN HAVING SEX WITH A GROWN TEEN GETTING TEN YEARS, A WOMAN IN VEGAS ALLOWED A 12 YR OLD BOY TO TOUCH HER BREAST GOT LIFE)–& SO IT’S REFRESHING THAT SOMEONE RESPONDS TO THE PROBLEM SERIOUSLY.
What makes “Don’t Be That Guy” so different? Because it puts the onus on MEN where it really belongs, NOT on Women. And while many rapists, particularly serial rapists, may not be very receptive to such a message, the fence-sitters who can be swayed by cultural and social norms
might. And the good men who are not rapists who see such messages over and over may be more likely to revoke the rapists’ “social license to operate” by not tolerating such behaviors and intervening when they notice red flags in that regard. True, Vancouver also stepped up law enforcement and improved training for police officers during that time, so that likely had some effect as well, but it is almost certain that at least some of the 10% drop in the first year was due to the rape-culture-jamming messages of the campaign itself.
RASA SAYS: INDEED, THE PATRIARCHAL SOCIETY DOES GIVE MEN A LICENSE TO OPERATE BECAUSE IT DOESN’T TAKE WOMEN’S COMPLAINTS SERIOUSLY – OFTEN BLAMES THE WOMAN – DOESN’T PAY ATTENTION TO THE COMPLAINTS OF CHILDREN, ESPECIALLY IN POOR NEIGHBORHOODS.
WHEN I WAS PREACHING ON THE STREET A BLACK GIRL OF ABOUT 17 CAME UP TO ME & SAID HER UNCLE WAS ABUSING TWO CHILDREN IN THEIR HOUSE – THE CHILDREN DESCRIBED HIS PENIS, SHE KNEW IT WAS TRUE. SHE SAYS SHE TOLD THE SOCIAL WORKER WHO VISITED, BUT THEY DIDN’T DO ANYTHING. SHE SAID IF I CAME TO THE HOUSE & TALKED TO THE AUTHORITIES, THEY MIGHT DO SOMETHING.
I HAVE HAD, OVER THE YEARS, NUMEROUS CHILDREN TELLING ME ABOUT MALE ABUSE. ONE GIRL – THIS WAS LONG AGO, THE 70’S – TOLD ME A MALE TEACHER IN HER SCHOOL HAD HAD SEX WITH EVERY FEMALE IN HIS CLASS. THE GIRLS WERE AVERAGE AGE 11-12,– IT WAS OUR NEIGHBORHOOD IN WILLIAMSBURG, B’KLYN. HE SAID HE WOULD ASK THE PARENTS TO TAKE THE GIRL ON TRIPS – A FEW AT A TIME – I CAN’T RECALL WHERE THIS GIRL TOLD ME IT WAS, BUT IN THE COUNTRY, WHERE HE WOULD PROCEED TO DO HIS WORK. THIS GIRL SAID,
“I SWORE I WOULD GO ON THE TRIP, BUT I WOULD NOT LET HIM GET TO ME.”
“WHAT HAPPENED?”
I ASKED. SHE SAID,
“HE GOT TO ME. AND THAT MEANT HE GOT EVERY GIRL IN THE CLASS – I WAS THE LAST ONE.”
So remember, fellas: Don’t Be That Guy. Seriously. And even if YOU are not “That Guy”, you probably know him quite well. (end)
What To Do About Porn?
I had recently written an article about sex work–particularly prostitution–that offered something seldom seen in either side of the debate these days: nuance. To wit, I had argued that it is both “the oldest profession” AND “the oldest oppression”, and the difference ultimately depends on who has the power. I had also argued that Women need to take over the industry and that decriminalization is, on balance, the least-worst alternative for the time being.
RASA SAYS: DECRIMINALIZATION—NOT LEGALIZATION– IS A MUST. THE BEST IDEA IS TO LEAVE THESE PEOPLE ALONE. IF SOMEONE IS SELLING APPLES ON THE STREET, DO YOU CRIMINALYZE THEM? THERE’S NO DIFFERENCE. THIS IS THE BEST TALK I HAVE SEEN ON THE SUBJECT:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJRBx0JjM_M&list=PLFRyIszz4TTxY_lLxVUHWI9vyEtMSLX5M
from the site:
Everyone has an opinion about sex work, but what does sex worker Juno Mac think? Juno takes us through four different legal models addressing the sex industry and explains why they — and sex workers around the world — believe decriminalization and self-determination are the only way to keep sex workers safe. An activist with the Sex Worker Open University, Juno campaigns for better working conditions by fighting criminalization and is involved with public education projects around issues relating to sex worker rights. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx
……………………………………………
But I realize that I left out something crucial, namely the other main kind of commercial sex work: PORN. While it contains many of the same issues that prostitution has, it also has a much wider audience and thus much wider influence. In fact, it is an even bigger elephant in the room, and is more accessible now than ever before. So what do we do about porn then?
To be brutally honest, we need to come to terms with a rather inconvenient truth. Porn, or at least 99% of the stuff that’s out there today (give or take a percentage point), does indeed have a serious dark side. It typically contains–when it is not overtly cruel, violent, and degrading to Women, like far too much of it is–a particular kind of warped, twisted, toxic, and patriarchal (i.e. male-dominated) version of “sexuality” that is markedly and often fundamentally different than healthy sexuality.
RASA SAYS: UNDERSTAND THE CALIBER OF THE PEOPLE CREATING & RUNNING THE PORN INDUSTRY: IT IS ORGANIZED CRIME. THEY ARE MOSTLY GANGSTERS WITH A LOT OF MONEY FROM ILLEGAL STUFF INCLUDING MURDER.
I WORKED FOR THESE MEN IN THEIR THEATERS IN NYC, THEY ARE NOT AVERAGE OR NORMAL MEN. ONE THEATER I WORKED THEY WERE DOING ILLEGAL SHOWS – REAL SEX ON STAGE. BUT IT CONTINUED AS OBVIOUSLY THEY PAID OFF THE LAW.
THESE ARE THE MEN WHO HIRE PEOPLE TO PRODUCE PORN – THEY DON’T DO IT PERSONALLY – BUT THEIR LEVEL OF MENTALITY IS PRODUCED IN THE MOVIES, THEIR ATTITUDES, THEIR POV. THEY ARE COLD–HEARTED DEGENERATES, THEY HAVE NO EMPATHY, COMPASSION, CLASS, OR ARTISTIC SENSE. THEY HAVE NO CONSCIENCE, THEY ARE PSYCHOPATHS OR SOCIOPATHS (THE DIFFERENCE IS THE FIRST ARE BORN, THE SECOND ARE MADE.) THEY WILL DO ANYTHING FOR MONEY LEGAL OR ILLEGAL – THEY DON’T CARE WHO THEY HURT.
Also, many of the performers, especially the Women, are often forced, coerced, deceived, and/or brainwashed into it.
RASA SAYS: WOMEN WHO GO INTO IT ARE USUALLY DESPERATE FOR MONEY. THERE ARE OTHERS WHO HAVE BEEN FORCED INTO IT, & THOSE WHO FORCE THEM KEEP THE MONEY.
IN THE DAYS PRIOR TO THE LATE LINDA LOVELACE IT WAS CONSIDERED DISGUSTING TO BE IN PORN – BUT HER WORK COINED THE PHRASE ‘PORN STAR’ & ‘DEEP THROAT.’ SHE WAS, YES, COERSED INTO IT & PROSTITUTION BY CHUCK TRAYNOR, HER HUSBAND, AT GUNPOINT – AN EVIL MAN, THE PRODUCT OF A MAFIA DAD & MOM, BORN WITHOUTA CONSCIENCE, A PSYCOPATH. SHE WROTE A BOOK ABOUT IT—‘ORDEAL’ WHICH I READ.
AFTER SHE GOT FAMOUS SOME FEMALES THOUGHT GETTING ATTENTION LIKE HER WOULD BE A BIG DEAL & ALSO NEEDING MONEY, WENT INTO IT FOR ‘FAME & FORTUNE’ – ONE SUCH GIRL WAS TRACI LORDS. SHE GOT FAMOUS FOR BEING SIXTEEN IN THE MOVIES.
And the often very young viewers end up with a distorted view of what sex is really all about, particularly if porn is the only “sex education” they ever really had. Thus, “making love” gets confused with the “making hate” that is normalized in porn, with predictable results.
So where does this dark side actually come from? You guessed it–the MEN who control and create it. And, of course, the MEN who demand it reinforce it even further. But either way, it begins and ends with MEN. Yet the genie is out of the bottle at this point, and any attempt to ban it entirely is certain to backfire, to say nothing of free speech issues. The only real solution, I believe, is for Women to take over the porn industry and jam the culture for the better. And yes, there is indeed such a thing as feminist porn–not only is that not an oxymoron, but there needs to be more of it. Yesterday.
RASA SAYS: THERE WAS ONLY ONE FEMALE WE ALL KNEW CREATING PORN – THE LATE CANDIDA ROYALLE. SHE DIED A FEW YEARS AGO. SHE PRODUCED PORN, IT HAD SOME DEGREE OF ROMANCE & STORY LINE. HER BUSINESS WAS DOING OK, SHE DREW A TON OF PUBLICITY. I DID SEE ONE OF HER MOVIES WHERE SHE HAD 3 FEMALE GUEST PRODUCERS, ONE CREATED BY ANOTHER FRIEND, VERONICA VERA, & IT WAS ABOUT A MINISTER SUCCUMBING TO SEX AFTER HE DENOUNCES IT – IT WAS HUMOROUS, IT WAS DIFFERENT. SOME GUY TOLD ME HE THOUGHT CANDIDA’S MOVIES WERE BORING . BUT AFTER THEY SEE HOW CRASS & CRUDE REGULAR PORN IS, SOMETHING SOFTER, INDEED, MIGHT BORE THE AVERAGE MAN. MAYBE IT WAS TO HIM LIKE SEEING A MAFIA MOVIE WITHOUT VIOLENCE.
I RECALL WHEN I WAS LIVING IN NYC IN THE 70’S I WOULD GO ONCE IN A WHILE TO A THEATER TO SEE GAY PORN – JUST MEN. I WAS OF COURSE THE ONLY WOMAN THERE. I LIKED IT, THOUGHT IT WAS INTERESTING, NOT DEGRADING TO THE MEN, & SOME OF THEM WERE HANDSOMER & SEXIER THAN THE MEN IN STRAIGHT PORN. I WAS HAPPY I DIDN’T HAVE TO SEE WOMEN, ESPECIALLY HOW THEY WERE DEGRADED.
There are, of course, those who cynically argue that there is inherently no such thing as feminist porn and can never be, period.
RASA SAYS: ‘FEMINIST’ PORN? IT WOULD BE SEX FROM THE POV OF A WOMAN. WOMEN SEEK LOVE WITH SEX, THAT COMBO MEANS ROMANCE. THEY THINK ABOUT LOVE, HOPE FOR LOVE – WHICH USUALLY DOESN’T HAPPEN, BUT THEY KEEP HOPING. SO IF YOU PUT SEX INTO MOVIES OF WOMEN SEEKING ROMANCE & LOVE, THAT WOULD BE ‘FEMINIST’ PORN.
They even give examples to try in vain to prove this unprovable negative. But the questionable examples they give of so-called “feminist porn” are in fact straw-man examples that are virtually identical (at least in content) to male-dominated mainstream genres. It is of course not enough for it to be produced by Women and done without coercion, but the content itself also needs to at least largely reflect a more feminist and humanizing paradigm of sexuality as well. Thus, such critics do not actually “debunk” the real concept at all, which does in fact exist.
In the meantime, there are several other things that we as a society should do. We need to help young people develop better media literacy to safely navigate a world in which the internet porn genie is long out of the bottle. We need real, honest, accurate, shame-free sex education that goes beyond the pathetic joke that passes for it currently.
RASA SAYS: ABSOLUTELY. SINCE PATRIARCHY MAKES SEX DIRTY & PROSTITUTION ILLEGAL THEN THE ONLY ONES DEALING WITH IT ARE THE GANGSTERS, & THE GANGSTERS ARE TEACHING OUR CHILDREN SEX EDUCATION. THIS IS AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT HAPPENS:
“In a tragic case illustrating the sinister effects of online porn, a 16-year-old girl’s bowel was so badly injured during group anal sex that she needs to use a colostomy bag for the rest of her life.”
We need to crack down on any form of coercion or trafficking that does occur in the porn industry, of both adults and children, and have better regulation and monitoring of the industry to prevent it. We need tough laws against “revenge porn” as well. And we should probably require that at least all free porn sites (that don’t require a credit card for age verification) be shunted onto the .xxx top-level domain so exposure to such sites can be more readily blocked and filtered from children (currently, the average age of first exposure is 11, and often accidentally). All of these things need to be done yesterday.
But at the same time, we must also take a nuanced view that porn is not always inherently bad or unhealthy, and realize that censorship is NOT a solution–it is in fact a part of the problem, as is the denial of Women’s agency. And furthermore, we also need to realize that once we start punishing people for “thought crimes”, we will have essentially crossed the proverbial Rubicon on the road to [insert dystopian novel here]. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is far more horrifying than even the very worst gonzo porn out there–which really says something!
RASA SAYS: IT ISN’T SEX THAT IS BAD, IT’S THE GANGSTERS RUNNING PORN. THE GANGSTERS HAVE NO CONSCIENCE & THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES PORTRAYING SEX IN OUR SOCIETY, THEY ARE THE MAIN ONES TEACHING OUR CHILDREN WHAT SEX IS & INFLUENCING MANY MEN & SOME WOMEN.
THEY INVENT NONSENSE LIKE SQUIRTING – WHICH DOES NOT EXIST. THEY INVENT THE STYLE THAT ALL CROTCHES SHOULD BE SHAVED – MOST YOUNG PEOPLE ARE NOW SHAVED. AND THE WORST IS THE ANAL SEX. YOUNG MEN ARE ASKING WOMEN TO DO THIS PAINFUL THING, LIKE THEY WERE HOMOSEXUALS. THAT’S WHAT VAGINAS ARE FOR.
THIS HAS ALL BEEN THE INFLUENCE OF THE GANGSTER PORN.
As I like to say, if we make the perfect the enemy of the good, we ultimately end up with neither. (end)
What To Do About Porn? (Part Deux)
In an earlier post, I had discussed (male-created) porn and its dark side, and what to do about it. One of the best things I had recommended was for Women to take over the industry, or at least jam the culture with feminist porn, as opposed to reflexively banning or censoring the often problematic stuff that is currently out there today.
Well, it seems that the city of Berlin, Germany is taking up this idea. They plan to publicly fund and distribute feminist porn and make it freely available via public broadcasters. Yes, really. And their goal is to counteract all of the sexist (and often racist) mainstream porn that is currently readily available online to anyone with a pulse these days. Young people will look at porn regardless, but at least with feminist porn, they will be learning useful things like consent, communication, and mutual pleasure, while hopefully unlearning all the toxic messages found in mainstream porn.
And I couldn’t agree more. Bring it on! (end)
RASA: SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD IDEA. BLESS THEM. THEY COULD MAKE SOME MOVIES THAT TEACH TANTRA SEX, WHERE MEN PLEASE WOMEN IN A PROLONGED MANNER, SOMETIMES FOR HOURS, WITHOUT THEIR OWN ORGASM, & THEIR REWARD IS THAT THEY EVENTUALLY GAIN ENLIGHTENMENT.
And remember, Woman, Thou Art God!
Go out & produce some God-inspired porn!
God does like sex – She created it!
To be continued 11-20-19
