College of God & Love

Guardian Angels Answer Prayer

My Guardian Angels – Prayers answered re Tiny Teenee

First dream I am typing since my severe eyestrain started in Dec. 3-28-23

Prayed last night re Tiny Teenee, that I could see him or her in my dream, hold him, pet him, let him know I love him & also Teenee Wienie, who was almost as small as Tiny – cats that I left on a farm when there were too many cats. I was told Tiny died of starvation after 3 weeks & Teene I was not told about, but I assume many of the cats did die, some were pregnant, I could not harbor them any more. When you have a passel of cats they multiply quickly. But the situation with Tiny was a mistake I could not rectify. I meant to keep him & thought I was putting Teenie into the cat cage – but it was Tiny. I did not have the guts to go back & look for him at the farm & I have grieved intensely for 2 years over this.

I even confessed this & other sins to Padre Pio & was forgiven, but I still grieved somewhat. Decided to have communication of love with these creatures would heal my grief.

In the last days I prayed specifically to my Guardian Angels about facing the upstairs chaos of the plaster falling down from the ceiling in two places, even in one closet falling on clothing & soiling all of it. This was so daunting to face I could not do it for weeks. Finally I prayed to my Guardian Angels to give me the courage & they told me the reason I couldn’t face it was because I kept thinking about it & imagining all the negatives that would occur. I had to stop thinking, put on the rubber gloves & take my tolls & just go up there & start, which I finally did.

And when I started I got the worst part of it done in 3.5 hours. It’ll take another hour to finish this & maybe 2 more to finish the ‘moved out of the apt’ chaos up there. Then I will ask the GA to help me tackle the rest of the house that remains in chaos, the attic, spare room & cellar.

However, I did NOT pray specifically to the GA’s to help me contact the kitties, but in this dream, you will see they were the ones that helped. And I am deeply gratified & amazed at how they appeared! I rarely see my GA’s in any form!

Dream:

I am some place traveling & stopping in an apt of sorts for rest. There are two small girls with me traveling. I’m trying to entertain them somehow but it’s not easy – not sure why. But we do walk at the edge of a woods & in a park I vaguely see, then we return to the apt & await our next outing. I am on tenderhooks trying to entertain these two.

Then I myself need consolation, & the husband of a lady I know comes into the place. I have always wanted to get close to him & today he does come near, & even rests on my body as I’m lying on a bed in the middle of the living room, & I breathe deeply because it feels so good. He’s wearing a knitted grey sweater & a knitted cap.

What I don’t like is he tried to put his finger into my vagina & he misses & keeps putting it on my anus, – I move his hand. I don’t really want him to do this but he says something about it why it would be good. For him maybe, not me.

I then look under the covers & see his penis & it looks like a dark, small sausage. This part of him doesn’t turn me on, in fact, he isn’t really ‘for me’ as he is of a lower echelon like ghetto type or maybe working class – he isn’t refined enough for me.

I am not happy when my daughter enters the room! Have no idea how she found me, but she did, & here I am on this bed with this guy on top of me!

So I see the guy leave, I’m looking at him on the other side of the glass wall, he’s leaving sadly that he could not consummate our relationship, & there’s blue on his clothing, but I don’t care – it wasn’t meant to be. I want to attend do the children, daughter & cats here – all three elements are present.

There were two cats here that I love, a white one that remains through all the activity, & a black one like the one I have here, Blackie, who hid during the activity, & now she comes out when the man left. She’s timid. And her name is MARY so if this is Tiny, she was female.

I then look at my daughter & say to her,

“How on earth did you ever find me?”

She was far, far away, & had no knowledge of where I am, but here she is! And behind her I see three men, mature men, like working class cowboys, all three have small-growth beards & remind me of some kind of rural gangsters, almost lowlifes you might say – they are all full-bodied, not fat, but not thin. One is sitting lower, the others very near maybe on table tops or something.

I ask my daughter if these guys came with her & she says,

“I don’t even know these guys”

and they disappear.

Later I’ll see my daughter looking like she’s playing a role on stage – which she is – as a singer – & she is imitating Jane Fonda, with wisps of grey silver hair framing her face, partially covering it.

OK now we all have to go out & there are two men here. They are all POOR.

And so, when we appear at the Waldorf Astoria, one of its restaurants, I am baffled. I ask them,

“Do you come here often?”

And they say yes, it’s a regular spot of theirs. The surroundings are luxurious.

Who is sitting here with us? The two men, one bigger, one smaller, my daughter & myself & I vaguely sense others but can’t even tell who they are. Maybe those two girls I mentioned in the beginning.

My daughter is looking at me plaintively because people are criticizing her for her performance. She’ll have to go on stage soon, we can hear the singing, the play has already begun & we must go as she’ll be on soon.

I tell her that whatever she does she is great; I affirm it ahead of time even before I see her perform. I just give her a complete blanket of approval & disdain anyone who criticizes her.

We all get up & stand in line in the room where the cashier is & are told to move up toward her. We do so &

the second man, the smaller one, to my surprise goes up to pay. He opens a wallet & there’s a white card & he pays with it, but then looks to us to each pay our share, giving the bread ot him. I quickly open my wallet.

The price for the dinner for all of us is $290.

I plan to give the majority of the bread, like $200, as I have the most money – as I said – they are all poor, & this little man was the poorest, that’s why I was shocked to see him step up to pay.

And I believe we will now go to the play my daughter is performing in.

………………………………………………….

Meaning:

My daughter I believe is Tiny Teenie, & the three men behind her are my GUARDIAN ANGELS who I’ve been thinking about lately, they came through! And I have also been listening to Fr. Chris Alar on angels & other subjects – this might have stimulated my faith in them.

I was under the impression Tiny was male but this shows under several forms, it’s a female, & her name is MARY. She appears under the form of the black cat because the black cat is very close to me, sleeps with me every night & loves me deeply & I her. And this is proven to me by her timidness as Tiny was the smallest & intimidated by the rough play of the bigger kittens, & would hobble over to her ‘safe spot’ near the entrance to my then-bedroom, by some soft blankets. One of her legs seemed shorted than the other, she was slightly

handicapped & so I say ‘hobble.’ She tried so hard to keep up with the bigger kitties.

I think these two kittens appear under the heading of the two girls I tried to entertain, Tiny is then my daughter, & they are the black & white cat. Why so many symbols?

Symbols are God trying to explain to me the principles & what is going on here, that Tiny & Teenie are my children & my pets. Tiny is especially dear as she appears as DAUGHTER she is trying to win my approval & love, which I give mightily. The grey hair over her is her SUFFERING which she endured after I had her accidentally left at the farm {by another person.} Her having to perform is what? The state of her pain in that she has to prove herself or please the audience, & FEELS REJECTED as I am certain she felt when starving to death.

It is fascinating that my three Guardian Angels are here & they have obviously BROUGHT TINY TO ME. Out there is cyberspace or Infinite Space, it is not easy to find any one person, like Souls in Purgatory or Heaven. It takes supernatural grace. And so, the Guardian Angels have provided this grace – Tiny says she doesn’t even know them, & they disappear.

But WHY do they appear as they do? I was not comfortable with these guys, almost like they were gangsters, like ‘Hell’s angels’ or something.

It seems notable that most of the people around you, in this dream, are poor & working class, not posh, rich or powerful. It could be these are all who NEED YOUR LOVE. The man you don’t really want could be a local

man who desires you, but he belongs to someone else you feel, even though she’s only a girl friend. You LIKE him but don’t want to get SERIOUS. He wants you more than you him, so he goes away sad. You aren’t into sex right now.

Why is Tiny called Mary? Probably just to show you it’s female – Mary is the favorite name for you.

The Waldorf Astoria is a posh place of NOURISHMENT. Nourishment can be many tings, but primarily this is not physical, but EMOTIONAL – SPIRITUAL nourishment. You wanted to show Tiny or Mary YOUR LOVE & this is the opportunity. She asks you for SUPPORT & you give her a BLANKET APPROVAL without her having to show you or prove anything to you – it’s even BEFORE you see her performance.

Why does she resemble or imitate Jane Fonda in this play? Maybe because Jane Fonda is eternal – or because she is still trying to prove herself even after being a star all her life. After all, if we are still performing at age 88, we seek applause or approval. Born in 1935, she is still looking good & performing. Tiny was just a youngster, but she went through a lot, she was martyr. She seeks your love & you grant it. This is what you prayed for!

Lining up to pay. All of you at this table of the Waldorf Astoria had a meal or nourishment, even though you don’t physically see it. These others here tell you they are regulars. Could this be the Eucharist which you celebrate every day? And these two mysterious men, who are they?

The smallest man is the poorest & he steps up right away.

There is A PRICE TO PAY. You will all contribute, you willing to pay the Lion’s share. This could be your pain/grief at what you did to Tiny & also your daily prayers & Holy Mass.

Remember, this event is PRIVILEDGE bought at a price of suffering – you prayed for a gift, you got it, but there is a price tag. And others are participating in the joy of this but also the pain.

But if the two men are contributing, they can’t be Souls in Purgatory, as these cannot gain merit, they can only suffer, but the suffering does not GAIN MERIT. So let’s think the bigger man might be Nick, your spiritual husband, who is attached to you. And the smaller man {bigger is more important, smaller less important} might be the guy who is interested in you but you are letting him down – his pain could be a contribution. {When you are at the bar together, he pays for your beers, but you did not call him last week or this week so far.}

So you received this great grace of meeting with Tiny Teenie & Teenie Weinee & showing your love but it cost you & some of your associates & even poor little kitties paid. But this dream shows you suffered more than anyone – paying the most in other words.

But I still can’t understand why my Guardian Angels appear so unattractive as far as characters. They are like tough macho men, almost gangsters, like country ruffians. Why? Obvious symbolic of something. Angels are Spirits, messengers of God. What are they saying? Maybe it was the brutality of sorts required to take all my cats to the farms – which I did several different times {it is impossible

to harbor un neutered cats}. It took a terrible brand of turning off my feelings to do this. As much as I loved them, for example, I had allowed a random cat to move into my house in the middle of winter. She had a litter of kittens & I took care of them. But within months they grew up & four of them were pregnant. This is DISASTER. Come what may, I had to remove them from my premises, at their great peril. There was a time once when forty cats collected near my property because I fed them

It is heartbreaking & I swear each time I will never allow it to happen again. So many times I broke their hearts & my own – never again, & Tiny Teenie was the worst, for which I’ve been grieving for three years, & Teenie Weinee also stood out as a terrible heartbreaker.

And so, the GA’s could be representing that state of heart I had to put myself in when I left them at the farms, on their own, with a partial chance of survival.

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

YOUNG HUSBAND TRAGEDY

Chapter 3 MY SPIRITUAL HUSBAND NICK

– DEATH FANTASIES

written late Nov 2022

Pics above: His crew at a place he was a dishwasher – not saying they were bad guys – I didn’t know them – And the x’d pic, how he saw himself

This is the young husband who loved me & I him. We were mystically married – which I shall explain. He lived two lives. To the world he presented a façade or charade – Living with a woman who was one of many, but portrayed as the ‘one & only’ wife together with a bevy of ‘friends’ – all focused on drugs.

Posted on Face Book under dates stated – 2022

His SoundCloud music under “Nick Lambo13”

Words gleaned from his song, not exact, verses repeated, hard to understand all the words {His words will be in bright blue}:

“Death callin’ my name, they wantin’ my body

doin’ drugs, feelin’ numb

Mentally fucked up

Mind is broken

Devil right beside me

Early grave

My life – you can take it

Havin’ death fantasies

My life – you can take it

Devil keeps talkin’ beside me

My heart’s frozen

No one to lean on”

ME: This is NOT A HAPPY MAN. Look, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see the DESPAIR in these words. Why despair? I was gone, he didn’t know what to do, or if he did, he was too weak. And that became obvious when he finally called me June 2, 2022. His crazy ‘friends’ keep all talking now, hundreds of them, about him on his FB. They think they were so important to him. It was surface relationships – I’ve been there. I had thousands of ‘face book’ friends. When I left FB only 3 of them are still my friends. Yes, he saw them in person but it was for things that kids do – playing – & partying with drugs & alcohol & dope. It was a substance-induced charade. They all miss the theater of drugs with Nick – he was their

star. Star gone, no more fun. That’s what they miss. They were not on God’s side, trying to save him, just wanting to have fun with him.

Nicholas Anthony VanDunk

July 25

Check it out!!!!!

Death Fantasies out now!!!!!!

Nicholas Anthony VanDunk

July 21

Cause if I don’t say it all here I won’t say nothing

Nicholas Anthony VanDunk

July 11

I love that I literally made this for me myself it’s like making a painting that you have no plans on letting go that’s what this basically is just something for myself to go back on and I love it and that’s all that matters about this one!!!!!

Nicholas Anthony VanDunk

July 8 He says:

“If the devil can’t get close to you he’ll take what mattered most to you so he can watch you fight your demons everyday”

ME: He’s talking about the devil taking me from him – You ask what mattered to him the most? The True Love of a Mother that I gave him – I was the only one he looked to that way. His ‘friends’ wanted to believe how important they were. Yes, he drugged & partied with them, it was substance-induced joy or happiness, not real. The only REAL LOVE he had was from me. Unconditional love, not using him as a drug partner or entertainment object. Just wanted to save him but I was blocked.

Nicholas Anthony VanDunk

June 25

Pick a side you gotta follow when that casket ride
-XoX
#DeathFantasies

June 5 & June 9 – May 28 – May 27 – May 24 he announces his SoundCloud rap song:

XoXNicky – Overcame it all

This rap is about how he OVERCAME NOT HAVING ME ANY MORE {I was absent from the scene & he wasn’t man enough to contact me until it was TOO LATE. But he suffered like a dog, his songs say so, my dreams vividly portray it. Instead of doing the right thing – calling me & speaking to me sanely, he mollified himself with MORE DRUGS – which finally killed him. The reason I know this is about me is because after I messaged him on FB through a friend, he said something like, ‘Now she contacts me, after I overcame it all, she should have made her moves sooner, now its too late’ – words approximate. He said this in a post as well as in his songs.}

Nicholas Anthony VanDunk

Dec 18, 2021 He says:

“A psychic said I’d die at 28 in three hours we will cheers to 29 ”

ME: The psychic was not far off, it was 6 months later, Aug 14, 2022, he died.

I told him dozens of times he was on the road to an early death due to drugs. Every person who channeled for me agreed with me – half a dozen people. This would have been averted had he quit drugs. But he was too comfortable with his enabler & all their ‘friends.’

The demons had possessed him. I knew about July 2022, had the strong feeling ‘It’s over. This time was mystically relevant because we met in July & every July – my birthday, by chance or fate, we’d always have a tryst. This ended after 2019. Why? Because it was time for him to stand up to the plate & hit the ball – but he was too slow. Our relationship is over, it’s done. Nothing can be fixed any more.’ It wasn’t just our relationship, his LIFE depended on it – if he did not come to me he was doomed by drugs, & he wasn’t moving toward me although we reconciled, & then it happened.

OK I am worn out from going through hundreds of his FB pages. Now it flipped back to the front & it’ll take 10 minutes to scroll back down, so I’m not going to do it, I have work to do.

Suffice to say that in the last times after he wasn’t seeing me any more, he spoke about the devil & Satan & death a lot. He said, if you’re not happy it’s because you don’t have a soul.’ He said ‘When you sold your soul to the devil he’s going to come for you.’ ‘It’s payback time’ – all these are from many doom & gloom statements.

He knew he was on the broad highway to hell & that highway was ‘Demon drugs.’ I was the one & only person who stood on that highway with the sign ‘STOP’ but he went around me. However, I did save his Soul possibly from Hell or a terrible Purgatory. It showed it in the dreams. His Purgatory was only 10 days because of me & he’s united to God through my Soul for all eternity. He’s happy now but the earth equation didn’t work. I am also reasonably happy as I got over the earthly angst, released him from my flesh, surrendered it to God, & was made free. And so, there wasn’t any notable grief for me at his ‘parting’ because I had already disentangled my ‘flesh’ in favor of ‘spirit – we never parted spiritually.

Here are the words to ‘Cocaine & Broken Bottles’ which is directly about him waiting for me outside my apt, longing for me, & being sorry we weren’t together – fearing he’d never have me again. This was posted April 7, 2019 when we hadn’t seen each other about 5 months. He would wait outside my apt by my 2^nd floor window to see if I was there – but I rarely was, so according to this, he was standing in the rain & experienced in this song all the miseries of us being apart.:

Below, he performs, the only time he did so after age 17, rapping our song, his repentence, at a small gathering – because of this song we were mystically married – I accepted his proposal to TAKE HIS HEART

“Wash away my pain

I’m standing in the rain

Waiting for you

Don’t know why

‘Cause some things never change

I have made mistakes

Here’s my heart to take

Not much left ‘cause all it’s ever done is break

Hate to watch you go

You left me on my own

Alone & broken homes

I swear it’s all I know

It’s hard to be me

Especially on TV

Will never see the same

You of all these chains

I’m feeling like a slave

Day by day by day

Soon as night fall hits

It’s alcohol & cocaine

It’s the life I chose

It can’t be how it goes

Cameras all in my face

Make it go away

Wash away my pain

I’m standing in the rain

I’m used to bein’ free

But free I’ll never be

I understand that now

Alone amongst the crowd

Take a look in my face

Tell me what do you see

Little miserable me

Is all I’ll ever be

Shackles all on my feet

Using the same seat

Wish I could be you

And you could be me

‘Cause DEATH IS CALLIN’ MY NAME

No longer winnin’ these games

Wish I was the same

You took all that I gave

Wash away my pain

I’m standin’ in the rain

He also posted this on Face book on May 7, 2019 {I left the grammar as he wrote it}:

“It’s very rare a person sells their soul for riches if you can’t find happiness it because your soulless you sold your soul for something so cheap like a party lifestyle or community popularity and you got it now the devils here to collect and you don’t even realize it”

We were spiritually married {a sacrament} on Sunday, April 21, 2019 because of his repentance & my continued love for him, forgiveness &

acceptance. It’s like he said ‘I’m sorry” & I said, “I accept you – you said take your heart, OK, I receive it. You said you wish I was you & you were me, OK, here we are as ONE” – as shown in this song {Cocaine & broken Bottles} as well as other posts, such as the one I copy here. There were several posts speaking of the demons haunting him & selling one’s soul to the devil. He ‘sold his soul’ for the party lifestyle, which means drugs & all that it entails – including all the people of the drug mentality. He rejected the opposite – the Godly lifestyle, going into rehab & being with me. He wanted me as his secret lover, to get all that Godly love – in secret. But I knew, once & for all, I could no longer stand being second fiddle, his ‘partner’ being feted in public, going to events together, having dozens of images together. I went nowhere with him, he would not be seen in public with me, he did not permit any images of us together, & he never gave me his phone number, nor told me where he lived. {I did find out some of these items anyway, by my own spying.}

To say this was a somewhat ‘dysfunctional’ relationship would be an understatement. He thought he got what he wanted; an infantile solution to his dilemma, but it brought me great misery. I could not stand it any more at one point. But for the time being, we got spiritually married – which is forever. {What God has joined together, let no man put asunder!}

Now let us understand the sacrament of marriage

According to the writings of the early Church Fathers sacrament signifies a sacred thing which lies concealed. The Greeks often expressed the same idea in their use of the word mysterion (Latin: sacramentum) or literally “mystery.” This meaning we have come to learn from St. Paul’s Epistle to the Ephesians (1:9) where it is said: “That he might make known to us the mystery (sacramentum) of his will”; and to Timothy: “…great is the mystery (sacramentum) of godliness” (1 Tim. 3:16); and in the Book of Wisdom: “They knew not the secrets (sacramenta) of God” (Wis. 2:22-24). In these and many passages throughout scripture the word sacrament is perceived and signifies nothing more than a holy thing that lies concealed or hidden.

The Church Fathers, therefore, deemed the word sacrament an appropriate term to express the sensible signs that communicate grace in a tangible way. According to Pope St. Gregory the Great such a sign ought to be called a sacrament, because the divine power secretly carries out our salvation under the veil of sensible things.

There are 7 sacraments instituted by Jesus Christ, they are:

Baptism
Confirmation
Eucharist
Penance (reconciliation or confession)
Anointing of the Sick
Holy Orders
Matrimony

Please understand as I said, he was leading two lives. At some point, after our mystical marriage, I decided to put

my foot down & demand that he make me #1, or at least, I would wait for him to chase me instead of me chasing him. It’s always better to be chased than to chase, you have the advantage.

But this was a new game that he wasn’t ready for – at least with me. He was spoiled. He thought it had been that way & it would continue. But I had gotten stronger, I got over the addiction to him. It was not easy, as hard as rocks, but I did it with the help of God’s grace.

But he did not have the strength to do as he must. He waited & waited for me to contact him, waited & waited. One year, two, then it went into three years. We were both used to absences of months, but this was extreme. And he was going through emotional Hell, I saw it in my dreams. I feared he would take his own life.

At that point, I contacted him through a friend. I was not on Face book, but I had a message sent. Because of that message – he didn’t see it right away, he called me on June 2, 2022 – as God predicted he would, months before.

OK, so we talked over one hour. I would not let him back into my life as it was before, I made demands. He’d have to consider.

But after a month I sensed he could not come up to the plate, it was over – Finished, caput.

And how right I was. He apparently lost the will to live. I sensed it. And on August 14, 2022, he died of some kind of over dose. I don’t know the details. I do know his female partner was with him. It’s all I know. His two lives were over, the façade & the secret one. But his spiritual life had begun. He immediately got closer to myself & God

& we’ve been communicating ever since. Yes, it’s a tragedy of sorts, but one that has a happy spiritual ending, like Jesus & his Cross. Yes, He died, but He lives. So with Nick.

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Agatha Christie Channeled

Chapter 2 Channeling Agatha Christie

written 11-28-22

‘Been watching all the main crime movies on You tube, starting with Sherlock Holmes with Basil Rathbone & Nigel Bruce {my fave}, then Jeremy Brett – saw all there is. Then moved to Poirot, saw every one of the 71 episodes including the traumatic {for me} last one & a few items on Miss Marple {don’t like it} & Insp. Dalgliesh.

I have a chapter in my head about the psychology of these works, saving it for later. Right now it interests me to channel Mrs. Christie, after reading this account of her on Wikipedia:

Dame Agatha Mary Clarissa Christie, Lady Mallowan, DBE (née Miller; 15 September 1890 – 12 January 1976) was an English writer known for her 66 detective novels and 14 short story collections, particularly those revolving around fictional detectives Hercule Poirot and Miss Marple. She also wrote the world’s longest-running play, the murder mystery The Mousetrap, which has been performed in the West End since 1952. A writer during the “Golden Age of Detective Fiction“, Christie has been called the “Queen of Crime”. She also wrote six novels under the pseudonym Mary Westmacott. In 1971, she was made a Dame (DBE) by Queen Elizabeth II for her contributions to literature. Guinness World Records lists Christie as the best-selling fiction writer of all time, her novels having sold more than two billion copies.

Christie was born into a wealthy upper middle class family in Torquay, Devon, and was largely home-schooled. She was initially an unsuccessful writer with six consecutive rejections, but this changed in 1920 when The Mysterious Affair at Styles, featuring detective Hercule Poirot, was published. Her first husband was Archibald Christie; they married in 1914 and had one child before divorcing in 1928. Following the breakdown of her marriage in 1926 she made international headlines by going missing for eleven days. During both World Wars, she served in hospital dispensaries, acquiring a thorough knowledge of the poisons that featured in many of her novels, short stories, and plays. Following her marriage to archaeologist Max Mallowan in 1930, she spent several months each year on digs in the Middle East and used her first-hand knowledge of this profession in her fiction.

According to UNESCO‘s Index Translationum, she remains the most-translated individual author.^[1] Her novel And Then There Were None is one of the top-selling books of all time, with approximately 100 million copies sold. Christie’s stage play The Mousetrap holds the world record for the longest initial run. It opened at the Ambassadors Theatre in the West End on 25 November 1952, and by September 2018 there had been more than 27,500 performances. The play was temporarily closed in March 2020 because of COVID-19 lockdowns in London before it reopened in May 2021.

In 1955, Christie was the first recipient of the Mystery Writers of America‘s Grand Master Award. Later that year, Witness for the Prosecution received an Edgar Award for best play. In 2013, she was voted the best crime writer and The Murder of Roger Ackroyd the best crime novel ever by 600 professional novelists of the Crime Writers’ Association. In September 2015, And Then There Were None was named the “World’s Favourite Christie” in a vote sponsored by the author’s estate.^[2] Many of Christie’s books and short stories have been adapted for television, radio, video games, and graphic novels. More than 30 feature films are based on her work. {end Wikipedia portion}

This is but a small fraction of what is written there about her – the rest I find interesting so please avail yourselves of it.

My speaking to the mind of Agatha Christie, channeling her. It does not mean she is actually ‘talking’ to me – it means, as I have explained before, that I’m READING her mind. So here goes.

ME: I surmise, Ms Christie, that you were born with the talents which you portray in your writings, which are, to figure out amazing plots using the psychology of characters in a setting, & the ability to sit down & year after year, keep writing it all down. You were gifted, it was inborn to be sure as no one could develop such savant abilities by human effort, no more than Mozart could have taught himself to be who he was. Am I correct so far?

AC: {Agatha Christie} Of course you are.

ME: OK then. I would like to ask you to start off, how {if I may} do my abilities compare to yours? What is

inborn in my nature that gave me the abilities to live what I lived & write what I wrote? In what way am I an equivalent to you? Not saying I’m your equal, as I am spiritual but do not claim equality with Jesus Christ, just asking what are the similarities or equivalencies.

AG: This is an interesting question of psychology.

I was born with the abilities as you described. You are a different sort of person like so:

You are a saint {Rasa blushes} & a woman of God whose life revolves around God & how to understand the ways of God, to follow Her, – you taught yourself & now teach others how to find Union with this Divine Person.

People will forever fail to understand you because they simply aren’t on that level. They see things in worldly ways & spirituality is absent to their minds, so they see you in worldly terms. But you are not worldly, you are spiritual.

In every facet of your life, included in all the activities you undertook, you sought the meaning of these ventures in the precincts of God. What was sin, what was not, in following your instincts? What regular interpretations on sin did you accept, what did you reject? That took some head work.

Now let’s center on your life story.

Here are the highlights or events that stand out, the things you’ll be remembered for:

1 Your juxtaposition of religion/spirituality & sex

2 Your openness regarding your sex life with accounts & pictures of men

3 The abuse you endured & rose above

4 Your physical beauty

5 The ability to write it all down

6 Your activities – the variety of them – being unusual

7 All the men you encountered & talk about

The word that would best describe how people see you historically would be that you’re an anachronism.

You appear in this world with a mind set, beliefs & behavior that smacks of another time – whether past or future, but it does not coincide with the world you were born into.

ME: That’s a new one on me, no person I channeled ever said that & I do find it challenging to understand & get used to, but it does open a new way of thought.

I shall again ask you what do you see in my future?

AC: I see huge amounts of financial gain, so much money you won’t know what to do with it.

ME: Everyone says that, like it’s usually the first thing that comes out of the minds of those I channel. But no one is telling me exactly or specifically what does it come from. I imagine, & they usually concur, from the books, movies & TV that will emerge out of the Life.

AC: Of course. What else could it be? Yes, you will have money from the gas & or oil under your land, but this other project will be more.

Below, Agatha Christie as a young lady – After, historical photos

Part 9 Contents

Part 9 is a potpourri of events exciting, challenging, bizarre & macabre, peppered with nude & erotic images of Rasa’s male models & young husband, not to be outdone by Rasa’s nude & glamour pics. Starts with cooking dinner for Dr. Robert Atkins, young husband dies of an overdose & voices regrets, the hard but righteous path that I chose,, world’s greatest lover Miklos Hargitay, Wisdom of the Cross, Charles Keating visits me, Robert Culp & Bill Cosby, Cougering & the wicked ways of young men, the Fuck & Rob Bandits, My neighbors who killed their parents, Strange eggs in my nest – the Rotten Reverend & magician who refuses to vanish, Channel Queen Victoria on mindset of the rich, Ron Van Clief & Jim Brown, Mr. Universe/Mr America lovers & friends – Vern Weaver, Harold Poole, Franco Columbu, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dennis Tinerino, Boyer Coe, Chris Dickerson & Reg Lewis, Prophecies of the future of this Life Story, Pics of me with celebrities – Congresswoman Bella Abzug, Tom Selleck, New York Mayor Abraham Beame, New York Governor Mario Cuomo

ME: Oh yes, in the first item of what I will be remembered for you mention religion/spirituality, but few people pay attention to this. I wrote most of my books on this subject during my early book creations, on the Beatific Vision, Souls in Purgatory, the Divine Stigmata, Yoga & Christianity & have written many articles on my spiritual experiences. How will this figure in the public’s perception of me in the future, especially, when I’m gone?

AG: It will be a bone of contention. It will be the never-ending dichotomy referred to, some saying you could not be that saintly creature here expressed, others saying you can. It’s like when you Stripped for God, the controversy never ended & will not end. Indeed, your teaching or position on this matter is wholly different than that of society & of course you are right, Patriarchy is wrong. Sex is not sinful, evil or dirty. It can be Sacred when Love is in it – that is what you profess. But it has been so mutilated by this society that few people think of sex in an innocent or even Holy manner, they haven’t risen to that level yet – that sort of idea is long in the future, hundreds of years.

Until society catches up to that idea, this part of your life will not be understood, but argued about. And this controversy will serve to make your story more interesting, as it isn’t like everyone else, it’s weird to some, your life makes new statements that haven’t been made before. A woman in the adult trade also being a bona fide minister of God, a saint, a martyr, an example of virtue – all this is without example prior to you. Usually saints were against

hedonism, having fun, doing sex – certainly no saint we know of was a Cougar, lol. Saints gave up all these things for the love of God. You did give up some of this for many years – but during that time you produced x rated videos for making money. You did not have sex but the videos catered to the sex desires of men – their fetishes. And then after 31 years you were told by your inner God to go out, drink & have fun, quit your celibacy. This will cause great controversy when it is brought into the open. You’ve seen how people react when you talk to them in bars – Outrage. “God will never tell you to have sex!”

And here is an important element where you & I are totally different in our lives & in our writings. In my writing, the focus of my life – I am there to ENTERTAIN. Even though you were a professional entertainer, your life is not about that. And your writings are not created to entertain but to TEACH.

In explaining your life you are trying to explain what you learned, what is the path of righteousness, what is the path to Hell.

I did not by any means try to teach people to find God, although my hero Poirot & other I created, indeed, were on the side of justice & Truth. You saw how in the last case of Poirot he became a murderer. This upset you terribly. You had a glowing saintly image of him, & for him to kill someone went against your nature, & you were hurt. But I told you then it was entertainment – that I wanted to give him a dramatic sendoff, & this was a good way for him to go – murdering a man who would in future cause others murdered. It was righteous, but then again, Jesus would not have done it personally.

{But it is recorded that all sorts of terrible things happened to his persecutors after the Cross, the Temple curtain was torn from the top to bottom, the dead walked the streets, the high Priest went crazy & Herod got a terrible illness of parasites crawling out of his anus.}

But I convinced you my writing was more for entertainment than teaching religion & spirituality the way you do.

ME: Yes, that last episode soured me on all the 70 stories I had seen before. I saw Poirot with rose colored glasses before, now the glasses came off. I was disappointed. I took it too seriously you told me, it was entertainment. I could imagine a different response to this case. Like for instance, Poirot would teach that God’s karma would get this man, & we see in some way God causes a righteous accident to happen to him rather than Poirot actually putting a bullet through his forehead. It seemed inconceivable for Poirot to do this.

AC: But there is the difference between us. None of my characters ever taught karma. You teach karma in some cases, like with your brother who was cruel to you, you show how bad luck dogged him in his life & in the end he died a failure, but strangely, in his school days he was voted ‘Most Likely to Succeed.’

ME: Alright, you have taught me a lot about both of us, Ms Christie, & I am grateful. Is there anything else you can tell me about my future while we’re at it?

AC: You will have all your dreams come true. All the things you wished for will happen before you die, you’ll be very happy.

ME: What dreams are you referring to? Right now my mind is on the Sisterhood & all that goes with it, like an Order, a Convent of sorts, a Society for women to give them Spiritual Inspiration, emotional & physical security, an education. Like the University of Mother God College campus where only women are allowed with safe space on the campus as well as the Temple to Mother God. This is a dream but I don’t know if I’ll have the ability to pull it off before I die, even the beginnings. Is there any hope for that? Or any other dreams you see fulfilled?

AC: It’s too difficult to conceive it all right now. Maybe with the great amount of money you’ll have you could purchase a property that in future will be the beginning of the College with Temple. Women would be greatly attracted to a super-fancy mansion of this type, something to feast their imagination on, living there. And so when you die, it goes to the Sisterhood. A vestigial beginning but with a lot of ideas you present to their heads when they look at your life.

This will gel into your mind later, let is go for now, it will appear to your mind as time goes by.

ME: Thank you Agatha Christie, I will channel you again in the future.

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Why Sex & Have Fun?

Chapter 1 Channel Ramana Maharshi

on why the push to ‘have fun’ – which wasn’t written 11-25-22

I have been puzzled for years, wondering why God ‘forced’ me to quit celibacy & go out & have ‘fun’ – which wasn’t, in the end, but turned out to be as one might suspect, ‘The Other Place.’

Just published yesterday!

Many folks & saints have spoken to me with different answers, the best one by William Bond, who said maybe I was sent not for myself but for others.

Recently I channeled Ramana Maharshi, one of my Gurus, the last one in fact, who brought me to nonduality in early 2007. That was a big change in my life. And strangely enough, when I did this stint at the bequest of God, I lost the consciousness of nonduality, as Ramana told me later in the game, I’d have to ‘give up’ Nick {spiritual husband} if I wanted to regain the state. When he said it I was still ‘obsessed’ with Nick {2019} & thought it impossible to do so, but eventually I managed, & what a relief.

Ramana gave me the answers which finally quieted my heart, & I shall reproduce the conversation now, asking him anew; he laid to rest my qualms as to why God would do such a thing to me when it was so painful. Here goes:

ME: Ramana, I am asking again – Here I was in a state of relative peace, my sex drive quieted down, my mind clear as a bell & I have entered the sublime state of nonduality. And now God speaks to me, saying,

“I want you to quit the celibacy, go out & have fun…….if you do not do this, you will be outside the will of God.”

Now all is said & done, I did my bit, I cougered, drank, had fun & raised Cain. I was naughty – not nice, did all sorts of crazy, embarrassing & silly things – even put myself in danger from these young men. And I suffered like a dog on a chain when I fell in love & I went to Hell & back. This was fun? And God knew all this would happen, that it would be my

fate to suffer such behavior & I’d make a fool of myself. God knew everything I would experience & then why did God make me do it?

After all, I was, like I said, in a state of relative peace. It wasn’t Nirvana but in the vicinity & God takes me from peace to chaos & anxiety. And this fails my spiritual logic, as all the masters teach to stay in a place of celibacy & contemplation is the highest arena, to be a missionary is second to that – but this was neither one or the other, it was lowering myself to the shallows & wastes of human sense.

I have thought & thought & questioned & channeled, without getting a satisfactory answer. There have been many good ideas, but nothing absolute & I sense you will show me the facts.

RAM: Yes I will. The best way to explain this to you is two examples, one of Jesus, then of yourself.

First, is it not taught that Jesus, the Son of God, came to earth, lowered himself, to reach humanity to save them from their sins? And he suffered & eventually died or passed out on the Cross, & people believed in him, & a whole new huge religion was formed, & untold billions have believed & been saved by Faith & trust in Jesus.

Now he could have stayed in Heaven & continued to enjoy its benefits, but He chose to return to earth to help us.

You also claim to be an Avatar, & you said that you were in heaven, & elected coming back to earth for Female Empowerment. You could have stayed where you were & enjoyed the Bliss, but you returned to earth & suffered & you have helped women & will do more.

And what about the saints who all do good works, missionaries, self-sacrificers? Many of them choose to go into the world, the streets, wherever people are – to save those in need be it physical or spiritual succor. The saints always suffer because people of the earth are not evolved, & those who are un-saintly hurt others, so the bad hurt the good, even when you try to help them.

So there are your examples of why the saints or Avatars or good souls lower themselves from heaven, or a contemplative peaceful state on earth, to walk the streets, to seek under bridges, alleys & ghettoes, the poor & obscure who are crying out for salvation, & understand this was a call to you to not really ‘have fun’ but to go out there & do something for humanity in the GUISE or FAÇADE of ‘having fun.’

ME: But God did not explain this to me. Why not? Why was God cagey, as She has been in the past – for instance, when She tricked me into marrying Richard Von Werder when I had resisted him for many years. And

here God explained nothing, just said to quit celibacy, have sex, go drink, have fun. And She left it at that. I was totally confused & uncertain, but I obeyed. It wasn’t easy. And of course people misunderstood & accused me of just wanting to whoop it up & be a hedonist & sex maniac, lol.

Here’s the rub, – I don’t have to tell you – you & all enlightened people know. When one gets involved with the earth, one’s consciousness sinks down to a lower level & one feels all the emotions which give one anxiety. It’s desires – they form. One has to look good, that becomes a focus. One has to act right to be successful in the dating game. One has to take chances. There is fear of being rejected & the fear is well founded – rejection abounds. Then there’s jealousy, ugly jealousy that one feels constantly in many situations. It brings back all the animal emotions & sinful thoughts & ideas like hate &anger. Even if one doesn’t give into these emotions strongly, one feels them & they’re ugly. It’s suffering, isn’t it?

And what is the purpose of all this?

OK the saints leave their contemplation to go out into the streets – where angels fear to tread, or as I said when I stripped, ‘We go where Priests & nuns fear to tread.’

But I was not a missionary. I did not go with a bible or tracts & stand on the street & give out literature at that time {though I had done that before} but I sat at the bars & drank alcohol & picked men up or had them pick me up & went & made love. That’s not the behavior of any saint I know, lol. Not the ones in the books.

And so if this is what God wanted, why didn’t She send me out as a missionary? I had once done that before, around 2001, for 3 months up & down the streets with a megaphone preaching. But this was different.

RAM: If God had sent you as a missionary like before, it would have been a different message. Here God actually wanted you to be a COUGAR – the message was like so,

“Old woman, get out of your rocking chair. Put aside the knitting & the gardening tools & go out & find a young man & have fun with him. He needs you, you need him. Dispel the myth that old women are over the hill, unattractive for sex. They are viable, alive, they deserve to ‘have fun’ in the earthly sense.

This ability for old women to have fun has been forbidden, denied them for thousands of years. They have been repressed, shut down & shut up. Loosen old women up, give them confidence, let them give up the myths about being finished, needing to go out to pasture. Let them cut loose.”

Don’t you see that was your missionary message? It wasn’t to repent of sin, this is a different message, it was to repent of repression. Repent of Patriarchy, repent of the double standard. Repent of fear of society.

And so, as with your other projects, you empowered women. Can you see that now?

ME: Yes, I see it more clearly. Strange, but I wrote & published two books on it – “Old Woman – Young Man, Why They Belong Together” Parts I & II, & yet, somehow I didn’t connect the dots.

Now when you say it, I see it more clearly, that that is why I had to go out & drink & literally have sex again.

I have always shown the world – often women – not only by words but example. I did not just preach to lift weights, I actually did it. Had I merely preached women should lift weights, what would have been the outcome? Who would have listened? It would have still behooved some female to go out there & demonstrate weight lifting, but I was the one that had to do it. I mean mainstream work – Esquire, Playboy, national TV shows. It had to be demonstrated. {Yes some women did it before me but it had not hit the national mainstream level.}

And this is the same token, one has to go out & do the thing one believes in, set an example. OK, I get it now.

So tell me, did it work? I did it & it made a mark in my college town, but I have not got the national publicity I used to get. And so the time has not yet fully come, I gather, for the fruition of this mission. Will it come out in some mainstream way with my life story, is that what is coming?

RAM: You have sown the seeds, they will grow. Don’t worry about it. It will indeed be a big part of your life story, as important as anything else you have done. And it will continue to grow & thrive long after you have gone, left the earth. These are seeds that will grow into groves of Oak Trees, big forests, major manifestations. You have left a great example & it isn’t just words, you have proof in your pictures. That’s why God had you not only to do what you did at the bars, but become a photographer so you have documented PROOF of your escapades, as people know, you had intimacy with many of your models, so as pictures say a thousand words, now people will see & believe what you did – lol.

ME: It all makes sense, falls together. Thank you Ramana Maharshi!

What about now & the future? Is it finished? Am I to do what now? Does it matter? I can be celibate or I can have sex, it’s all the same to me.

My sex drive does not compel me any more, I have reverted to how I felt when I was celibate, I am free.

RAM: Like you say, you are free. Whatever you do is alright. You have beaten sex in that you overcame it. You plunged into the morass & then you got out. Wow, was it hard when you fell in love. But you succeeded. It was a great project, congratulations.

ME: Thanks Ramana. You are a great Guru. {end Chapter 1}

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Purgatory & Death of Lover

Souls in Purgatory calling me –

2nd Two dreams re Lover & his death 11-18-22

I’ve not been paying attention to Holy Souls for weeks, having been discouraged because none of them appeared & none ascended. So I just stopped saying the Holy Mass. When I had these dreams I was baffled since I had forgotten about the Souls, but when I remembered them suddenly, I knew they were calling to me.

The first dream bothered me a lot. There was an old lady who brought children or the case of her children, to someone who had the ability to help – like a Welfare facility. Don’t know what happened, but she goes back home to an awful hovel. I had NO IDEA how poor she was – she has NOTHING.

*** {OLD LADY SEEKING HELP FOR 2 INFANTS – VERY POOR: This is a person seeking help for 2 clients, often seen as ‘children.’ She cannot help them because she’s probably in Heaven – it’s not their prerogative to minister to Souls – it is ours. She probably came to me, but I wasn’t saying the Holy Mass, so she got nothing from me for them.

The poverty of these people is so pitiful – the dirtiness of the rugs the kids are wrapped in is the state of their Souls, which must be CLEANSED.

BLANKETS are like MANTLES. Holy souls or the Anointed have mantles of LIGHT. But those in a Purgatorial state have mantles of dirtiness – is surrounds them like being wrapped in a blanket, it obscures their vision of God & happiness.} ***

Her house doesn’t even have walls, it’s like an open area with a wall behind her & a stack of dirty rugs or blankets in front of her. She unravels one blanket – it’s red, then another & another, each one as dirty as can be. She has no clean blankets, she cannot afford to get them washed – not even the money for that – she has nothing.

* {HAS NOTHING – CANNOT EVEN PAY TO WASH THE BLANKETS: The petitioner needs GRACE for these clients, it is Grace which does the cleansing. She cannot give it if she herself is either in Purgatory or Heaven.} *

After unraveling all the rugs I see an infant, then another infant. One of them has a wound. She needs someone to take them, to take care of them – adopt them. The place where she went for help it seems didn’t help & they had no idea how poor she was & the condition of her children.

I see a man from Australia – so I am told – sort of hovering by these blankets, & he takes one of the children. We were concerned he’d take the right one – don’t know what that means. But one child was saved.

* {MAN FROM AUSTRALIA TAKES ONE OF THE CHILDREN: This is someone who has taken on ministering to one f the clients. Not sure what he does. Could be anything that gains Grace – the Holy Mass, prayers, sufferings, charity, or sacrifices.} *

After that I see other situations of people with children in blankets, not as poor as this lady, the blankets are clean, but all needy people looking for help with their children.

In the second dream, I’m being led by a man who has rented an apt for part time, when we are working in this area – this is not clear what we’re doing. It has to be a decent place but not too expensive for some reason, I guess we aren’t rich.

I have in tow a little dog, some kind of a bulldog type, maybe a pug, by a leash.

The man leads me – I don’t know who he is, how he looks, just that he has something to do with me. We come to an alley & the door to the place I somewhat hidden, like in a narrow area between the huge wall it’s on & some kind of wall or partition in front of the door.

He unlocks the door & we go in to inspect.

* {MAN LEADING ME, UNLOCKS DOOR, A RATHER HIDDEN PLACE: Without a doubt, this is someone in Heaven connecting me with the Soul. It is extremely difficult for a human, by themselves, to make a connection with a Soul in Purgatory – they are often led by a Celestial – it’s happened to me many times. Sometimes the ‘person’ is an Angel – could be the Guardian Angel of the person needing help.} *

It’s the plainest apt imaginable, where a poor person would live. The furniture is modern & bare-bones type. We enter the living room first. There isn’t any color, it’s drab, but yet, I am satisfied. There is a couch on the left—off white, & another place to sit – not sure if it’s a day bed or sofa, also a plain color but darker, in front of me.

Both items have pillow cases left by the last tenant – I think it was an older man – fitted over the couch & the sofa on some part, plus one yellow pillow case. I exclaim to my friend that these 1^st 2 pillow cases are exactly like the ones I have, an exquisite pattern of a floral design, pink, burgundy, fancy design with black trim on top. So this is a sign I’m supposed to be here.

*** {POOR APT: This seems to be a place inhabited by a Soul who has passed on. His pillow cases just like mine shows some connection to me, but I don’t know what. He might have been someone I know or someone who knows of me.

Come to think of it, my good friend Jack I think has died. It might be him. But I already had a dream about him which I didn’t write down, which seemed like he was in Heaven already. He was a stellar human being.

The LITLE DOG is an ALERT like a sentinel. Dogs bark to alert us of something. So I am being alerted.} ***

Next I go to examine other rooms to the left. Surprised to see a bathroom with only a toilet – the man tells me it doesn’t work. Next to it is another bathroom with toilet, sink & I guess tub, which is in proper order. But I exclaim,

“Two baths next to each other!”

But the man says,

“I told you, the first one doesn’t work.”

I was thinking of going past here to see any other rooms – where is the kitchen? But the dream ends, I do not see the rest of the place or a kitchen, maybe it has no kitchen, which would be pretty bad.

*** {LIVING ROOM, PLAIN, & BATHROOM – NO BEDROOMS & NO KITCHEN THAT I CAN SEE: The main message here is no kitchen, no nourishment for this Soul. If I was saying the Holy Mass, you might see a kitchen, a table, food or drink for the Soul. A bedroom, which I didn’t even think of during the dream, would show REST as REST IN PEACE, but this Soul is not there yet.

I must immediately say a Holy Mass.} *

Dreams re Lover Nick

11-18-22 Men Trying to Reach Me, One will drown

I was walking fast down a big open space like a square, brightly open to the sky, when I knocked into a male in a cream-colored suit & all light clothing going the opposite way. I thought it was just a random accident, but after I excused myself & thought I was free, he is following me – something I don’t want.

I try to get away from him but then a second man appears & it seems a serious imposition, & I am having trouble getting away, so I rise into the air, but the man in the suit seems to touch my feet slightly & I must rise higher & higher – which is a strain at times.

*** {TALL MAN IN CREAM COLORED SUIT: We COLLIDE & then I CANNOT GET AWAY FROM HIM. This is Nick as my HUSBAND, who I cannot get away from after we meet. I want to but I can’t get over the obsession – it’s love but of the earth, & I’m having trouble getting back to my intimacy with God.

When I rise into the air I’m beginning to ascend into my Spiritual Space again, but not totally – he can touch my feet, so I am STILL IN BONDAGE TO HIM & MY FLESH AS I struggle to rise higher into the Light.} ***

The other man is short while this man is tall, he’s in soft multi colors.

*** {THE SECOND MAN, SHORT, COVERED IN CLOTHING SIMILAR TO THE APPEARANCE OCEAN WE WILL ENCOUNTER – This is the SHORT TIME AFTER I got over Nick, but HE DID NOT GET OVER ME, that is, HIS OBSESSION CONTINUED.

What he did not realize was that TRYING TO BE WITH ME, he could nor rise into the Spirit as I had risen, he was too much OF THE EARTH. The ocean I fly over is the world, the flesh, & he is covered with the world & flesh {his clothing}, he can’t ascend.

And so, after we reconciled June 2^{nd, 2022}^, he was following me in his mad love but he could not ‘go up’ & staying in his earth mentality or consciousness, he died. He could only LEAVE HIS BODY OR FLESH to be with me, & THAT HE DID.} ***

Then something happens that liberates me – the ocean is right ahead of us. If I rise into the air as I am, & fly over the ocean, in order to follow me they must go into the water. The suit man does not, but the shorter one does, & he follows me as I fly farther & farther over the ocean, & so he’s getting into deeper & deeper waters. He is SO OBSESSED with this he might not pay attention to the fact that HE WILL DIE as he goes into water above his head – & he is headed to that. At some point unless he can swim like a fish, he’s doomed.

The surface of the ocean looks like a picture of a world globe, all in soft colors & lights with the moon shining over it. His outfit also has like colors.

2^nd dream: The glass full of golden liquid & I am tempted to be jealous.

I was with my lover before this first scene; I see we were deeply intimate, reconciled.

* {INTIMATE, RECONCILED: This is when Nick called me & showed me he wanted to be together – a big event as it was only the 2^nd time in eleven years he ever called me. And he wanted to see me, but I told him under what conditions, that he leave his fake wife & go into rehab, that he was not able to meet.} *

But now I’m going into a brightly-lit kitchen, which is in front of me & he in the doorway. The kitchen is shaped like a railroad car – about 8’ by 15’.

The lover stands in the doorway, I must squeeze past him where I see a glass sort of hovering in the air like it is there for me to take, in front of me, & also in front of him.

*** {GLASS FILLED WITH GOLDEN LIQUID: This is the ELIXIR OF LOVE. One can give this love & receive it with whomever they wish. He did not do as I asked, but he stayed with Ruth Anne, so he is giving my ‘sister’ the love that should be mine.

This was me waiting for him to do something after the phone call June 2^nd, as was predicted months before. But he never did anything & killed himself of a drug over dose on Aug 14, 2022.

Why must I SQEEZE PAST HIM? Means he is BLOCKING YOUR WAY to access the LOVE POTION or reception of his love.

But another telling symbol is the KITCHEN shaped like a RAILROAD CAR. RAILROADING is forcing someone to do something, pushing them. A railroad is FORCEFUL & nothing can stand before it without being mowed down. This is your ULTIMATUM or terms by which you would see Nick – leave Ruth Anne & go into rehab. So in the dream, he instead offers Ruth Anne his SWAN SONG or his last ingestion of drugs, which kills him.} ***

He’s singing & as he sings he offers this glass to my SISTER instead of me, & this disturbs me greatly because we were just together intimately & reconciled. And I knew then, since he ignored me, he did not even try to leave her.

*** {HE’S SINGING – WHY? This is his SWAN SONG – not a good omen. Singing is not always happy, it is a portent of trauma or death. The only time it’s recorded Jesus sang is at his Last Supper. Also, you, Rasa, for months before your several heart attacks, began to sing, trying to form a band. But nothing took place. And thereafter, you were disabled from even dancing, so it was also your SWAN SONG. It’s also like a TOAST TO DEATH as if he’s saying to Ruth Ann

“I drink to you – a toast. My last drug intake, which will kill me. It’s because of you, so I take it in your honor, for my LOVE OF DRUGS.”} ***

As I stand over the sink I am upset, & tempted to explode in anger, but I resist. I explain to myself like so:

“This will backfire on her. I am hurting now but her turn is coming, she will suffer before the end of this day on account of him. Just remain silent & let fate unfold.”

*** {I SUFFERED, NOW IT WILL BE HER TURN, I MUST STIFLE MY ANGER, JUST LET FATE TAKE ITS COURSE: Her suffering she will feel now for a long time –his death, his absence. My suffering is past, hers began & will go on. She knows their druggie lifestyle that she enabled, has killed him. She will know that forever.

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Champions & Me

Reg Lewis was an interesting person who seemed to go from riches to rags.

“In 1954, Lewis joined West’s revue as the youngest in her crew – he was 18. Four years later, he was the reigning Mr. Universe (professional class) when the actress selected him as “Mr. Hercules” in a contest held at the Bert Goodrich Gym in Hollywood. Among his rewards were interviews with studio casting heads, and that sent him on a path to the movies.”

Reg Lewis Chapter 14 continues Lovers &/or Friends with 9 Mr Universes – Mr Americas

written 10-20-22

Above see his beautiful wife Sheri & Harold Poole that we spoke of before

Reg Lewis was active in bodybuilding for 30 years, from the 1950s through the 1980s; here is a listing of his many titles:

Junior Mr. Olympics Winner (1953) Lewis won this title at age 17.
Mr. Olympics Winner (1956)
Mr. Pacific Coast Winner (1956)
Mr. Physical Fitness Winner (1956)
Mr. Universe Professional Class Winner (1957)
Mr. USA-AAU Second Overall (1957)
Mr. Hercules chosen by Mae West (1960)
Mr. America Winner (1963)
Olympia-IFBB Third (1970)
Natural America Masters Overall Winner (1982)
Mr. America Over Forty Winner (1983)

Bodybuilder and actor Reg Lewis was born in Niles, California, on January 23, 1936. He began bodybuilding at a young age, winning his first title at age 17. Lewis jump-started his career with the assistance of actress Mae West who, in 1954, enlisted a gym full of bodybuilders (including Lewis, Mickey Hargitay, Gordon Mitchell, and Dan Vadis) and took them and her act on a tour of nightclubs to various cities across the nation. West’s male revue created a sensation; according to Gordon Mitchell, the show and the men were a big hit with the all-female audiences. On occasion, Lewis acted as an escort for West, taking her to film premieres, nightclub openings, and other high-profile events throughout the 1950s, 1960s, and 1970s. And Lewis appears in West’s final film, Sextette (1978; with Timothy Dalton).

{Rasa says: Oh my, Timothy Dalton. What a line she had for him: Something like “I have some time for you so I could say ‘the British are Coming!’}

All I could find on Sheri Lewis besides one pic from a Russian website: Muscle Beach History – by Stuntmovie – Getbig.com

https://www.getbig.com › boards

Jun 7, 2013 — As Stunt so rightly pointed out, Sheri Lewis wife of Reg Lewis was quite the beauty.

My Account:

Below it’s Jayne Mansfield, believe it or not!

I knew Reg & Sheri Lewis in California around 1969 – went to their house somewhere in one of those Los Angeles ‘valleys, maybe San Fernando Valley.

They were both attractive & she must have been {or is} extremely rich, as she BOUGHT HIM AN AIRPLANE! Their house was large, beautiful & sprawling –it was not a ‘mansion’. They had a 6 year old son.

I was fascinated by the fact that they entered the NABBA Mr. Universe & Miss Bikini Universe contests – 1957 – in London together & BOTH WON!

As far as lifting weights, she told me, in so many words,

“I gained muscle quickly by lifting weights, but then it came to a point I could gain no more.”

Of course, this was BEFORE WOMEN TOOK DRUGS.

Reg told me a bit about MAE WEST. He claimed to be

“her favorite, because I was the YOUNGEST.”

Mickey Hargitay also told me HE was her favorite, lol. She must have told each one the same thing.

Nowhere on the internet does it say he was her boyfriend or lover, just that he went with her to events, but he told me they were all her lovers, himself included.

There were two events they were involved with that I was a part of. First, they held an IFBB event in a big hall where I SPONSORED a female I was trying to manage – Yolanda Tugues. I was publishing a new-age give-away newspaper called ‘Enlightenment’ & as the editor of that paper, I wanted to present the award to the female who embodied,

“Most Radiant Health.”

The designated recipient was Yolanda – I wanted to promote her.

And to speak for me, I got a candidate for Mayor of Los Angeles to pipe up.

Only problem was, when he announced the chosen winner, it was the wrong person! I had to jump up to the podium {wow that was embarrassing!} & tell him it was someone else – it was made right & Yolanda got the trophy & roses from me.

Then Sheri told me it was SHE who made the change because she thought another girl was better qualified. Yiikes, that was SO WRONG of her!

BTW I could not get anywhere with Yolanda no matter how much I tried {was doing this for free} because she wouldn’t OBEY me. Imagine of Elvis didn’t obey Col Parker!

I told her not to deal with anyone I fixed her up with personally, it was all business, & these guys, once alone with her, would lead her down the garden path. But she didn’t listen.

First, I got her a photographer to take images for free. But she gave him her phone – at his insistence – I saw him sneaking her into a corner for it – all men want access to you sans manager so they can lay you. Don’t know how that got screwed up, but all the images he took HE SAID were wretched & TOO DARK – unusable.

Next, I had got a call from Russ Meyer who wanted me for a movie. Instead, I brought him Yolanda, insisting she’d be better for the part, sacrificing myself for her.

She messed that up by allowing Meyer to visit her at home & then, I don’t know what happened, but the deal fell through.

I gave up. I was giving my time & energy for free, she fukked up the deals. Good bye Yolanda. But we remained friends. Maybe she’s still out there.

Back to Sheri & Reg: In the year 1971 or “72 Sheri & Reg held another contest, this time at their sprawling house. It was fixed up so you could seat 100 people or more, in fact, the famous manager, PATRICK CURTIS was there – the man who launched Raquel Welch.

*** He came up to me & wanted my number. Later he asked me for a NUDE IMAGE. He was INTERESTED in being my agent! But Rev. Judy Swaggart, who I was living with at the time & supporting, nixed the deal – as she nixed every deal that came up except what matched her agenda – Her agenda being me working, giving her money.

He was an uncertainty to me – maybe he just wanted a date – so I ignored him as she wished. Judy claimed it was wrong for him to want my picture nude – I don’t know – This is show biz & nudity is not a thing of scandal, it’s a commodity to be used. He could have made me another Raquel, but it was not meant to be – I had a destiny as more than a movie star. ***

Miss Voluptuous

OK so this contest another IFBB Miss Americana – 1971 or “72. They had a huge bevy of contestants – maybe 40 – & some of them were Hollywood starlets. I considered myself lucky to get an important trophy, Miss Voluptuous.

It was NYC 1975 & I’m a GUEST POSER {no money, nothing given} at the Miss Body Beautiful contest, WBBG, because I’d won the year before. So I am HONORED & give the trophy to the new winner. One of the reporters said it was too bad for the other girls I showed up, as I put them all in the shade, such was my class – he said it, I didn’t. I have a copy of his words somewhere.

Oh yes one of my fave anecdotes. The winner now has on the borrowed robe, fancy tiara & scepter, sitting on her thrown. She was average looking.

She says to me,

“Now that I have won, what will they do for me?”

I said,

“Nothing. You take the title & promote yourself with it.”

She was never heard from again.

So in the men’s contest, I see Reg Lewis, a shadow of his former self. He looks worn out, I sensed that hedonism & selfishness had marked his face. His body wasn’t so good, either compared to the current champions. This was not a huge venue & he didn’t get a trophy. He had come down in this ‘theater’, I felt he was desperate to stay ‘up there’ but he didn’t have a chance.

What happened to his rich, generous wife Sheri? I felt Reg had been a sort of gigolo, first under the care of Mae West, but especially his wife. He lived off them because he was young & perfect. Now he was cut loose, was he fancy free? I could smell failure. He had a lady friend there, she was in the contest & he introduced us. Her figure was good, but there were marks all over her face, old acne scars & her hairdo was stiff – no prizes. I never saw Reg again & have no idea where Sheri is, if she is. {End Chapter 14}

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Huge Life Story Success

Chapter 15 10-16-22 Dream predicts great financial success –

Importance of Nick in my Life Story

We are in a building like a large patio, a dim, soft, romantic twilight. The light is low, like lamps under our floor boards coming up & moonlight outside.

There is a gathering LIKE NO OTHER. It’s myself & about a dozen & more of the greatest brainy, most mentally, psychologically, metaphysically talented people in the world – they know EVERYTHING – I being one of them, lol.

The thing is, any of us who says something to inform the others–they ALREADY KNOW IT! It’s funny.

But I must admit, we each of us knows almost ‘everything’ but it isn’t 100%, it’s just MOST of everything, but put together, we cover just about all there is.

The group is all types, male & female, dressed differently. I see colorful & casual, someone in a rich medium blue shirt or blouse with a lot of material in the arms & the rest of it is full also. There’s a feeling of ‘all types’ like these people are not one faith, one POV, they are here because of their brain-abilities & no other reason, which chooses them across the board.

Below from my You Tube videos 2008 – The videos are gone but luckily I saved about 75 images from them. There were hundreds of videos & some accidentally erased all of them from my pc – a year’s work.

*** {CIRCLE OF BRAINY PEOPLE – ALL TYPES – ONE WITH A VOLUMINOUS BLUE SHIRT – GATHERED IN A CIRCLE – DIM LIGHT: These are the characters NOT in my book but the characters THAT I AM in the context of my life story, & each of these characters represents an INTELLIGENCE & KNOWLEDGE that I gained from the experiences. Notably one persona sports a voluminous BLUE SHIRT, lots of MATERIAL especially in the arms. This is lots of BLUE material NOT I suspect blue as in ‘sexual’ but blue as in depressing, sad or sorrowful, the hard times I went through as described in my life.

Why is it a CIRCLE? This represents a POW WOW or a gathering of my FORCES – POWERS – MENTAL & SPIRITUAL FACULTIES, some of which are FORMIDABLE!

All these entities / personas come together in the BOOK/S of my LIFE STORY. Here we are in an enclave, it is not explained WHY but at the conclusion perhaps the last person to be described is the PUNCHLINE or the main reason for this & the other dreams.

The group is ECLECTIC in that there isn’t one type of persona here, there are different P’sOV – faiths – religions, as that’s who I am, I see things from many angles, not one faith, religion or zeitgeist.

The DIM LIGHT, like lights coming up from the cracks in the floorboards – like part of the floor on the sides has opening, a plan, then a blank, a plank, then a blank, & the light comes up from there softly….& Moonlight outside….This is the Light of the ‘Night’ or the non-daylight, which is the light of ‘the world.’ This is the light of DREAM & VISION INTERPRETATION – spiritual, metaphysical knowledge, occult knowledge. And through the opening in the floorboards implies ‘through the wood’ – the wood of the Cross. These abilities came to me through SUFFERING.} ***

I can’t contribute much because as soon as I begin to speak to tell them something, they already know it, lol.

We’re sitting in a circle & there is an opening in the room about 15’ wide, which you can dance in, with a solid floor.

A black lady {very dark} comes up to me from the circle & puts both her hands in mine, a sort of dancing embrace. She’s wearing a white pleated top such as the one I have, hundreds of pleats that come up & cover the neck – really classy, soft. I sense a gardenia or some sort of white flower by her waist or hair, like a corsage. As she embraces me she talks & because of what she says we dance & the step to the right, left foot meets, to the left, right foot meets, with a bounce, which I think is the POLKA, a happy dance. There is something WET coming from her, like from her side. And she says,

*** {VERY DARK BLACK LADY, SOMETHING WET, WHITE PLEATED SOFT TOP, WHITE GARDENIA IN HER HAIR OR A CORSAGE, EMBRACES ME FOR A DANCE: This is one of my POWERS or FACULTIES from the circle – one of whom I am & when I think of how DARK she is the GODDESS KALI comes to mind.

This is a symbol that can be looked upon with various perspectives. One thing, BLACK is the UNKNOWN GOD. She is mysterious, what She does or does not do baffles us, who She is we don’t know. Is She Energy, a Person? That means blackness to us, not daylight, on a dark night we SEE NOTHING – we don’t UNDERSTAND – ‘I see the Light’ or ‘I don’t see the Light at the end of the tunnel – I don’t understand.’

The WETNESS that comes from her SIDE reminds me of Jesus when He was pierced with the Lance, & blood & WATER gushed from his side! This Divine Stigmata represents all is given from his Heart, the Center of his Love, his emotions. This lady then is like that, She & I are One at the conclusion of this revelation.

Being black like this is also CHARCOAL or having been ‘burned up’ & now the Phoenix rises from the ashes. So it’s a double image of death & resurrection. The stigmata is MARTYRDOM or giving all of oneself for God, one has given their LIFE but out of this sacrifice of physical life lost is the GUSHING WATER OF GRACE, the Fountain of Eternal Life, the Spiritual rises as the flesh subsides. So to sum up this perspective, this is my death & resurrection, I gave my all like Jesus, I died to self & I rose up again, I died but I am living., my lower self extinguished but my Higher Self is joyful!

I should add that this lady is joyful in her attitude, not sad or downcast, very lively – this is ME after all I’ve been through, engaging myself to dance the POLKA, the most joyful, lively dance, like Scrooge did after his transformation & return to love & life, when he joined his nephew & their party for Christmas.

The third big perspective is KALI. She is the AVENGER, an emanation of DURGA, who protects the human race & destroys the demon Maharashtri – Patriarchy. She alone could do it, the Male Gods could not!

And so my life has been a series of projects difficult to manifest, but I pushed through by the Grace of God. ‘We go where priests & nuns fear to tread’ was our motto when I preached in front of the White House.

The demons of Patriarchy opposed me when I tried to institute female body building, but I succeeded.

The demons of the adult trade tried to demoralize me, but I succeeded in preaching for 14 years in the story ‘I Strip for God.’

There was every type of demon from Patriarchy opposed me, assaulted me, throughout my life – hundreds of them – whatever I did – And even tried to kill me many times by accidents or human assaults, but I was spared.

Furthermore, as Goddess KALI I lived to avenge myself, so to speak, against my enemies – not by nefarious schemes but simply by SUCCEEDING! They could not stop me, my motto at the Playboy club in 1978 was

“My success will be my revenge!”

And the demons of Patriarchy fell down in defeat when I got through.

Her OUTFIT: white soft many times pleated top that covers the neck: White is PURITY ‘The Pure in Heart Shall See God.”

PLEATS are REPETITION. This would say “the actions of her good heart were repeated many times, – like forgiveness. And covering the neck would be saying ‘a lot of’ as in ‘up to my neck’ or ‘up to my eyeballs’, so much of a thing. Again it is a repeat of actions of a GOOD HEART.

The GARDENIA as hair ornament or corsage:

The Gardenia is an EVERGREEN plant {evergreen represents eternal life, like a pine or Christmas tree} – always white – extremely aromatic, & being white reiterates the concept of pure in heart. I used to have a Gardenia plant in my bedroom as a child, which in winter I encased in plastic, & would put my face in it at times to get a big aromatherapy, not just the scent of the blossoms, but the entire plant. Therefore, this brings to mind relief from the pains of my youth when my family was abusing me.

This represents, then, an award or accolade for when I was abused, I reacted to it in the spiritual manner, not with hate or revenge, but trying to cope with it, forgiving my enemies. This is a mark of SUCCESS.

The dance is JOY – Joy at the success of my life & my life story!} ***

“I see huge sums of money coming in for you! Lots & lots of money!”

I see it in my minds eye, pouring in, & we are joyful over it, it’s a great triumph!

*** {MONEY – HUGE SUMS POURING IN: Is money here in the literal sense or meaning having great value? I think it’s BOTH, the reason being that I have channeled a dozen saints & even earth people, & each & every one of them, the first thing they emphasized was big money was coming to me from this. They did not mean value besides money, they meant money.

And when there is great SUCCESS, such as a movie/s, TV shows, big media, big money, there is tremendous attention & repercussions for good. God reminded me an example. Jesus Christ’s life story being magnified brought attention to his great deeds, miracles, healings as well as his teachings. His sufferings, sacrifices, all of that brought attention to Who He was, what He did, what He represented. It changed the world.

And so, when a person has magnification of their life, whatever they did is made BIG, a lot of people hear about it, it changes lives, their thoughts & feelings, their behavior. It changes the world in all sorts of ways. If their life has meaning & a lot to say, it has great INFLUENCE.

This DANCE shows you will have great JOY from the success of your life story.

The Goddess Kali is the spokeswoman or mouthpiece for all the parts of you that contributed to the production of your story.} ***

(2) The Blankets the animals get hold of – The Dandelion leaves I count out for Nick {old webman RIP} which are like MONEY – we go 50/50 on everything

Strange dream. I get a smallish box like a medicinal box I get over-the-counter meds in, & it’s filled with dandelion leaves, a stack.

*** (DANDY-LION: It took me a while to get this, but lionize is a symbol of someone who is well known for writing a book/s & they are LIONIZED means they are respected, admired, even adored for what they wrote. They are treated like a CELEBRITY, ACCLAIMED. And DANDY says what you wrote is dandy or great.

Dandelions are part of your diet which is healthy & totally free, you indulge in them constantly, even having them growing on your window sill. So it did not cost you anything to write your life story, remember your memories for others. It’s a GIFT from God, writing your story is a GIFT. And in a ‘medicinal’ box might say this has been therapy for you.} ***

Nick, my old web man who died of a heroin overdose is here, to my right.

Taking the stack out, I separate it into two neat piles & say to him,

“We go 50/50 on all that we do – you get half, I get half.”

I’m the leader & I’m being more than fair, as I could apportion more to myself than him but I am kind & generous.

The dandelion leaves are like MONEY. And this is a large amount.

And so, I begin to count the leaves, one by one by one. They are all small to medium, some have tiny soft thin stem clumps, which are special, I let him have the one that comes up.

This goes on & on & on as there are HUNDREDS of leaves. Some are tiny; it’s TEDIOUS to count hundreds of them!

Finally I give up & say,

“This is taking too long. We’ll have to get a SCALE & weigh this, you get half, I get half.

*** {DANDELION LEAVES, MANY, THE SAME AS MONEY—I SAY I’M GIVING NICK HALF OF IT ALL—COUNTING IS TIRESOME, WE WILL WEIGH IT & SPLIT IT ETC: Wow, what amazing symbols. The LEAVES are the PAGES of my life story. So far there’s over a THOUSAND & more to come.

NICK is none other than my spiritual husband who on Aug 14, 2022, died of a drug overdose.

I’ll need help on this, Mother God. Is this saying that Nick is important in my life story? Perhaps the PRODUCERS of the movie/s will want to feature him strongly. What am I giving him half the credit for?

MG: My guess is that he, in his death or from the grave, will be an important part of your life story for the movie producers. They could start with the end of your life, being in love with him & he you, then his dramatic death, then a flashback of your entire life, ending with your relationship with him.

The reason this might be a choice for them is that in most stories a focal point is a relationship. Most great stories feature a relationship as a thread through the entire tale, it brings cohesion to it, a meaning or foundation. It’s hard to think of a great movie or book that does NOT feature a relationship as an ongoing thread.

Using Nick in this way is expedient, as he is dead & does not have to give his PERMISSION & he can’t SUE – using his persona is extremely convenient. Add to that the IMAGES you took of him – they are amazing, & again, they only have to pay you, not him. It simplifies everything for his character.

If he were living you would have to INVENT a persona that would represent him, you could not use his name, identity or exact story line without paying him – it could get complicated, & if you didn’t abide by the rules the producers could have a hefty lawsuit. His part would DIMINISH as if you told more & more details of his persona it would sound so much like him he could sue saying it is him, you’re using his identity without paying him, so he could sue. So to prevent a lawsuit his part might become tiny instead of big. But now he can’t sue, you can put as many details as you wish, lay out all the truth & you are SAFE. He died at a convenient time in a convenient way that makes for great drama.

You are not looking at this in a sentimental or maudlin way as you warned him repeatedly he would die young, you gave him a way out, he chose his destiny. So he gave you something in death, – you are acknowledging him for it here – in the last book, Part 8 – his Chapter had 78 pages – more than any other Chapter & there’s more to come.

ME: So the LEAVES I am splitting with him refers to not so much the book but the SCRIPT of the movie? He will have an important part? And even if his character does not take up 50% of the space, the fact that he & I had a deep relationship with our age gap makes him stand out as a main character?

MG: You are giving him importance, attention, respect. You put a great value on him & this value will be appreciated in your life story & it will come back to you as money.} ***

Then momentarily I see he took his half & there is a large skillet here, about a foot or more across, & he has put his large hamburger patty – about 5” across, on it, with two sides of vegetables, & I see bits of the dandelions sticking out from under the patty.

“Oh, you’re going to cook yours with the patty?”

I ask him, & he says yes.

*** {5” HAMBURGER PATTY – HE PUTS IT IN A SKILLET WITH VEGGIES, I SEE THE DANDELION LEAVES, BIT, STICKING OUT UNDE THE PATTY & ASK HIM IS HE COOKING HIS PART WITH HIS BURGER? I need help here, Mother God. He’s dead so he isn’t eating any food. What is he cooking with the value of the leaves under the burger with veggies on the side?

MG: The burger is him – his DEATH. His meat or flesh is dead. The patty is extra large. His life will become ‘larger than life’ by being a part of your story.

Getting ready to be cooked with things ‘on the side’ is his story. It will be PREPARED, ready for DIGESTION. It will be a source of NOURISHMENT for readers, they will learn from his example how NOT to be – it’s a sad tale, a story of his mistakes, forfeiting success & happiness for drugs, then death.

ME: Again I ask for clarity, Mother God. Why is he specifically here, being shown as so important I’m giving him half the value of my life story?

MG: Reread what I said with our first question. It’s about relationship.

Think, for example, of Jane Eyre or WutheringHeights.

Jane Eyre, the whole story is based on Rochester, but there are many ‘sides’ or items told.

The same with WutheringHeights. Heathcliff is the main interest although many other things happen.

So your tale could be told – at the end of your life you met the man you loved who loved you, then he dies suddenly before you can merge successfully, live together. It’s Gothic, it’s tragic.

You spent your whole life dating hundreds of males, which you describe, among other things, & finally, at age 66 you find him. The story gets dodgy – all the other guys were unsuitable. But the love of your life is PSYCHOTIC & he dies suddenly of an overdose – maybe suicide. This is DRAMA.

He did not, space wise, take up half your life, but the drama of what happened here is strong & can be used effectively. Eleven years on & off with him also is not a short time.} ***

(3) The blankets. Then I look down my yard & am upset to see the animals have somehow got hold of my valuable blankets. One of them is walking out of the barn, like a human, with a light blue blanket around her & then a precious rose red smaller one {very soft & special} around that. As she walks she drags the blanket into the ground, {it’s an animal in the shape of a human female} some mud, & other blankets were also commandeered by my animals, which I must make a stop to immediately before they destroy all of them beyond repair.

So I run down there with my assistant – a young male – & grab the blankets from the animals. Before I put them into the washing machine I see we have a ‘pool’ here of clear water, right on the ground in our yard, & I swish the blankets in this pool, which is like a sink, water running into it, then out. It’s a rocky terrain, not muddy, they come out clean.

There are other blankets also & I scurry up the hill in my yard to some common or public pools similar to mine. They are right by a path, & down this path I see several dreary men coming down, & the pools, which have various colored stones, shades of brown & grey, are not as clean as mine.

The dreary men look at me, it makes me uncomfortable, like their faces are clouded & veiled by their own skin & the pools are not clear, so I go back to my original pool which is perfect.

The thing is I had all these blankets & they are extremely valuable & they are for ME. I had set aside other things for the animals – they cannot have these blankets! So there must be order & right appropriation here. Animals don’t know any better, it’s my job to manage things.

*** {MEANING: This is about making sure the spirituality of your life story comes through that folks do not take it as a ‘thing of the flesh’ or animal instinct.

It is you wearing the ‘blankets’ which represent possibly SEX. {The RED ONE is the pain you endured}

You describe & explain many affairs, but again, it’s important to state that during the time you were ‘having fun’ it was God that sent you out to do that. There was a reason you aren’t exactly sure of yet.

The men by the murky public pool who have the veils over their faces – they are dreary – are the men or humans who cannot see ‘the other side of the veil’ or the spiritual content of things.

You do not want to portray your sex experiences in that ‘dirty,’ ‘unclean’ or non-spiritual fashion.

Your life is not ‘of the flesh,’ you are a woman of God, not living for the flesh alone, indeed you are made of clay but that clay is animated with the Spirit of God & you obey that Spirit.

Who is the young man helping you? A Guardian Angel? Or does it refer to Nick, that it’s important to stress the spirituality of you being together?} ***

{For Heaven & Nick channeling, see the Arnold dreams on the Rasa Von Werder-William blog}

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Mr Universe Lovers

Chapter 14 Lovers &/or Friends with 9 Mr Universes – Mr Americas

written 10-13-22

Some were famous, some not. Some known mostly to body builders, one is a household word. Let’s start with the unknown Vern Weaver. I was startled to read he COMMITTED SUICIDE!

Above is Franco Columbu, in Sardinia, below Vern Weaver

Vern Weaver the 1963 AAU Mr. America

Forty contestants entered the 1963 AAU Mr. America contest held at the Zembo Mosque in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

In second place was the legendary African American Harold Poole, who walked off stage when his placing was announced. However, Poole had the consolation of winning the Most Muscular award.

Weaver won the tall man’s division at the 1964 NABBA Amateur Mr. Universe. His final physique competition was at the 1966 NABBA Professional Mr. Universe contest where he placed second in the tall man class.

Little is recorded regarding Vern Weaver from 1966 onward. It is known he took his life in 1993, at age 56

My Account:

It was an image of me as ‘Miss Body Beautiful USA’ 1965, in ‘Strength & Health’ magazine, that brought Vern Weaver to my door.

He wrote me a letter saying I was ‘the most beautiful woman he had ever seen’!

I answered him. I was 20 years old; ambitious to become a ‘somebody’ & he was Mr. America. He wrote from NY on his way to CA, he invited me to a show that was disastrous which altered the course of my life.

Yes, I was married, yes, we made love so I was ‘cheating’ but believe me, Stanley Everts deserved to be cheated on. He had forced me to marry him, tricked me into getting pregnant, & tried to strangle me to death twice. He deserved his 55 years in Purgatory.

All I can remember ‘doing’ with Vern is getting him a modeling job & he appeared in a sportswear catalog. He looked really strange, with all those muscles, next to skinny undeveloped male models. They looked astonished at him.

And at this show he took me to I met Bill Pearl & Mr Southern California, Bill McCardle with his photographer. The photographer said he’d put me on the cover of Strength & Health if I would pose with the champ – I agreed, the rest is ‘history.’

I have the account elsewhere, plus on my Kellie Everts bio website, let me skip the grim details here & move to

Harold Poole {below}

His Story on Wikipedia:

Harold Poole (December 25, 1943 – August 7, 2014) was

an AAU, IFBB and WBBG professional bodybuilder.

Biographyedit

Born in Louisville, Kentucky Poole’s athleticism was apparent very early on. He was quarterback on his football team at Shortridge High School in Indianapolis, placed fourth in the state high school wrestling championships, ran 440 yards in 50 seconds and put the 12 pound shot 55 feet.

In 1960, Poole entered the AAU Mr. America and, at the age of 16, took 18th place. His final AAU teen opportunity came in June 1963, where he won most muscular, but was the runner-up to Vern Weaver. Three months later, Poole switched to the IFBB and, at age 19, he won the Mr. Universe. In 1964, he became the first African-American to be named IFBB Mr. America. Starting in 1965, Poole became the only man to compete in the first three Mr. Olympia contests finishing runner-up to Larry Scott in the first two Olympias.

He retired from bodybuilding competition following the 1982 IFBB Night Of Champions, where he placed outside the top 10. He lived in Florida, where he continued to train with weights and practice martial arts until the end of 2010, when he moved to New York City. He was inducted to the IFBB Hall of Fame in 2004 and the WBBG Hall of Fame in 2007. In 2008, Poole was voted the Greatest Teenage Bodybuilder of All-Time.

Harold Poole died in New York City on August 7, 2014.^[1]

Competition and award history

He was the IFBB Mr Universe 1963 – Mr USA IFBB 1971 – 1964 Mr America – Many other big trophies in top contests

My Account:

It all started with another woman. She was wild about him, although she was in love with another man!

This is not going to be a pretty story.

This lady hounded me to make love to Harold Poole until I gave in, & later regretted it. I was not big on sex then, it goes in stages with me, sometimes yes, sometimes no. For then it was no. It was prior to 1976, maybe “74 or “75. I had just gotten back from CA in 1972 & settling in to NYC, just wanted to be left alone, but she wouldn’t leave it be.

I know it was just because she wanted to experience him again through me – she’d bedded him & he didn’t want any more, but most men will try another woman, especially if she’s good looking. Let’s call this friend Angelina.

I want to make this short as it’s unpleasant thinking about it – I know that’s the case with many men, but that’s human nature it is not angelic, it is animal nature or below that.

So, anyway, he took me to his den. He was living with a young lady – I met her later. But he had a wing separate from his regular digs where he housed a bed as well as mega loads of weight equipment. There on that bed we made love about 10 times. It was a lot of work on both our parts, believe me, I did my share, lol.

Angelina gloated in the details – she was living through me. Yes, Harold was handsome & sexy, his body was a turn on, he had what it takes. I thought he was Mexican, I only found out later he was black by reading he was the ‘first black Mr. America.’

I read he endured wicked discrimination when they gave the title first to Vern Weaver, he was only second – everyone was shocked. The promoters were mega-racists & this was a great hardship to break through, but of course, eventually they did.

But let me say this & it hurts. All these guy were sensitive to their own travails, but not to those of women. They did not for one second think about how women were treated in the body building contests or elsewhere. Harold, like a typical handsome, sexy young man, got what he wanted & moved on. We met 3 times, then he lost interest. I went to his club & he was putting the make on a new female – he resented my intrusion.

I called again & he ignored me – it hurt.

But here is the worst part. I went into a strange depression after being involved with him, I couldn’t work or function, I didn’t know what to do. I thought was this rejection after an infatuation, just that?

I called my mentor, Rev Verna, in CA, begging for help. She saw the situation right away, & whatever bad I said about her, she came through at times with Supernatural healings. She said to me a tidbit I never heard of,

“He put a cloak of darkness on you.”

WHAT? Is Harold Poole some sort of demon? She said some of those magic words – from God – don’t recall what – & the spell was broken, a quasi-exorcism I suppose.

Within that second I was cured, Harold Poole disappeared from my mind, & I learned a valuable lesson. Demons can appear as angels of light. Some of the most handsome men are the most evil, & you can’t tell by looks or making love. It is deep inside, in the heart. Good bye Harold Poole, wherever you are, I hope its peace & you met your maker. If not, it has nothing to do with me.

Mickey Hargitay – Mr Universe

See Chapter 4!

Franco Columbu – Mr Universe, Mr Olympia & many other important titles

He’ll go down in my history as the one I cuckolded Arnold with, & boy, did I pay for that. Here he is on Wikipedia:

Francesco Maria Columbu^[3] (August 7, 1941 – August 30, 2019) was an Italian bodybuilder, powerlifter, actor, author, producer, and a licensed chiropractor.

Originally a boxer, Columbu won the Mr. Olympia in 1976 and 1981, and competed in the inaugural edition of the World’s Strongest Man in 1977, where he placed fifth.^[4] He also had an acting career and authored numerous books on bodybuilding and nutrition. Columbu was inducted into the IFBB Hall of Fame in 2001, and received the Arnold Classic Lifetime Achievement Award in 2009.^[5]

Columbu moved to Germany at a young age for work,^[3] and met Arnold Schwarzenegger in 1965 at a bodybuilding competition in Stuttgart, Germany.^[7][8] Columbu formed a lifelong friendship with Schwarzenegger,^[9] and was Schwarzenegger’s best man for his marriage to Maria Shriver in 1986 and godfather to their daughter Christina.^[10][11][12] Columbu and Schwarzenegger remained very close friends until Columbu’s death, with Schwarzenegger stating in 2016 “He was my favourite training partner four decades ago and he is my favourite training partner today.”^[13]

With Schwarzenegger, Columbu moved to California in the late 1960s to train and work with Joe Weider.^[6] Weider provided them with a place to live and an $80 (equivalent to $590 in 2021) per week stipend.^[14] The stipend was not enough to live on, so to support their bodybuilding careers, they began a bricklaying company named European Brick Works in 1969.^[12]

At 5 ft 5 in (1.65 m) and a competition weight of around 185 pounds (84 kg), Columbu won the IFBB Mr. Europe and Mr. Universe titles in 1970, and the 1971 IFBB Mr. World. He won the lightweight class of the 1974 and 1975 IFBB Mr. Olympias, before winning the overall competition for the first time in 1976.^[15]

Columbu participated in the inaugural edition of the World’s Strongest Man in 1977. He placed fifth, behind four men who outweighed him by around 100 pounds (45 kg).^[16] During the event, he dislocated his left knee while carrying a refrigerator on his back.^[6] The injury kept him out of competition for a few years, and he received a reported $1 million (equivalent to $4.5 million in 2021) in compensation.^[17] Columbu returned to win the 1981 Mr. Olympia then retired from competition.^[15]

Known for his strength, Columbu’s clean and jerk record was 400 pounds (181 kg), his bench press record was 525 pounds (238 kg), his squat record was 655 pounds (297 kg), and his deadlift record was 750 pounds (340 kg).^[1][6] He was named in The Guinness Book of Records in 1978 for bursting a hot water bottle by blowing into it, which he achieved in 55 seconds.^[5]

My Account

I’ve told this story so many times I’m weary of it, usually in the accounts of Arnold & myself.

In 1972 I went to the body building men’s & women’s contest at the Brooklyn Academy of Music, knowing Franco & Arnold would be there.

I was interested in Franco – he was my type at the time – & brought along a magazine with him on the cover, for him to autograph.

I saw the two of them sitting together, went behind them & showed Franco his magazine. Sometime snapped an image of Arnold popping eyes at my cleavage, there it was later in magazines.

Anyway, Arnold was a boob man I guess & he convinced me to go backstage – way back there, with him & as he had this magnetic will power I couldn’t resist, I followed him.

While we were starting to ‘make love’ a big black guy came by, Arnold had his back to him, front to me so didn’t see it. Then comes Franco, pissed saying,

“Kellie, I thought you were MY girl”

That stopped Arnold in his tracks. I exclaimed,

“I can be BOTH your girl”

and Arnold bellowed

“NO!”

So that ended that.

The next day I’m in the room with Franco, making love. I didn’t think about it – but these two were like twins & shared the room & Arnold WALKS IN!

From then on, Arnold, for this & a few things I DID NOT DO, had a vendetta against me of sorts, playing tricks & also blocking my promotion as the original female body builder. I know he & Joe Weider were partners in trying to steal my thunder & hand it over to Lisa Lyon or other women as the originators or the ones who deserved all the accolades. Eventually I won the recognition as Progenitor in the eyes of all, but it was a struggle.

So I had this date with Franco & later, he came to see me as my sister’s place where we had pictures taken. I was mad at him for something & did not go to make love again. Arnold had invited him to some fancy dinner & he went there instead of to me – so I held a grudge.

And that was the end of us except we saw each other again at a show in 1980, where Arnold pointed to him & said,

“There’s Franco,”

and he was with his wife – Arnold still resented my choosing him.

Jeez, what hurtful memories I have in body building.

However, Franco came to me again, this time when DEAD! I have a deep ministry to Purgatory – he was there & came to me for help. I helped. He is still there. When he ascends, I will be informed through a dream. Amen.

I was friends – not lovers – with 4 other Mr. Universe / Mr Americas – Reg Lewis, Denis Tinerino, Boyer Coe & Chris Dickerson. {To be continued}

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Channel Queen Victoria

Channel Queen Victoria {see below Chapter 12} Chapter 11 Strange Eggs in My Nest

Rev Judy Swaggart– My original living Guru who got me to channel – & the Crazy Putz

written 10-9-22

Where would I be without the ability to channel? How good would this book be without it? Channeling or mind reading is one of the great features of this life story, it has opened up the reasons for many a thing.

I spoke about Rev Judy at length in Part 3 – where I give the characters of my youth in detail, but there were a couple things I’d forgotten & pretty funny.

Now picture this. To me, this is how she WASTED her time & gas money. Every single day Judy would drive from Hollywood to the shore – Santa Monica or thereabouts, but not the busy public beach, she always found some remote beach where no one was around.

And excusing me from her presence, she’d walk off at least 50’ where she would rant & rave, talk, I mean REALLY LOUD, almost yelling. What was it? Venting? Complaining to God? Whatever it was, it got some of the negatives, emotions, whatevers, out of her. You’re talking yelling, almost screaming at times – it could take a house down, that’s why she had to be in the open.

I kept thinking the drive there was like around a half hour, & the gas. That’s an hour drive every day. Couldn’t done instead? But then, I chalk it up to THERAPY. To me, she was LAZY & it seemed like KILLING TIME.

And it wasn’t confined to the beach, at times I’d be in another area of the building – it had some sort of outdoor patio, & I’d hear her ranting & raving loud as can be.

Anyone who heard this would want to distance themselves from this loony.

One of my fave stories is when we’d walk down the street together in Hollywood & a car would start following us, with a man. And she would say,

“They aren’t looking at you, they’re looking at me – my POWER – they can SENSE IT.”

Twice I have been discouraged from the fine, exemplary diets I was on, once by her, the second time by the guy I describe in this tome, CabHell. {This man veered me off my vegetarian diet when he kept asking me to take him to this fast-food place called Kennedy’s. They had terrific breaded fish or chicken with fries. At first I only ate the fish but under his influence I got into the chicken & that was the end of 14 years of being good.}

When I moved in with Verna she tried to do two things, get me to quit my fruitarian diet & date guys. I had not dated for years & was not interested. {I was stuck with that scum Putz NutOn, also described in Part 3, after having to give in to him, I lost interest in sex, lol} My mind was on self improvement & God. But she harped, needled & hounded me so much that I did quit my diet to my detriment. The fruitarian diet was the most difficult I had ever practiced – harder than being a vegan. She kept saying ‘be normal.’ Normal was whatever she was, lol. Dating was part of ‘normal.’ Truly, this woman was not advanced.

The guys she could not convince me about, I wasn’t interested in dating again for some time. She tried to fix me up with guys she knew. They all repulsed me.

Now the question is concerning her & other folks who were disgusting – abusive & hard to get along with. Why did I stay? In some cases, there was something I wanted from the relationship. I paid the price. It was hardship to be sure, but I stuck it out until I received or attained the thing I desired.

In Verna’s case, it was an Anointing. I was like Timothy to St. Paul. St. Paul was the Guru/mentor of Timothy & I loved what he said when Tim asked him for ‘a greater Anointing,” – It was,

“The greater the Anointing, the greater the persecution.”

Look what they did to Jesus.

Verna would channel every day – it was my favorite time with her. I’d be all ears. She channeled saints, people on the other side she’d known, famous people from the past including movie stars. I was not able to do this but eventually, through this time with her as well as all my efforts, I achieved the ability. This being able to channel has gotten me out of scrapes, into better situations, & has enlightened my mind to hundreds of secrets & mysteries. Peace of mind comes with understanding. Truly, it is one of my greatest tools of psychological survival & staying the right course.

Channeling includes also the ‘still, small voice’ which is God inside. This indeed, I gained the ability to do before Verna, when I was alone a lot when living with the Putz. After gaining my favors & roof he left me alone, went on his con-man pursuits with others, while I had quit work & spent almost full time improving myself. I worked for hours a day on this what I then called ‘mind over matter,’ through hypnosis, but it was more than that. It was ‘Spirit over mind over matter.’

I kept digging deeper & deeper into myself until I heard this voice one day, clear as a bell, in my head, speaking to me, & when I asked who it was, it said,

“I am you.”

How can you be me when I am me?

At the time I didn’t get it was the God inside me, but later I did & this is what is called ‘Atman’ in yoga.

And as I said, I stuck it out with Verna until I felt I had done all I could with her, gained all I could – I gave her the greatest loyalty including donations, she had ever had. I served her valiantly & obediently, so well that when I tried to leave her twice, she put death curses on me, & both times, black men who lusted for my body were going to kill me but God stopped it. This is documented in Part 3.

And in 1979 the night Verna died, she appeared to me & gave me her Anointing, asking me to promise to help humanity, which I did. {In the bible it is like when they say a Prophet ‘left his Mantle’ to the next guy.- the mantle is Light.} I had officially resigned from her Church in 1976, assisted by this great psychic lady of Greenpoint, B’klyn, Angela Astone.

The Chapter with Verna was finished, I got what I sought, I paid the price, it was mine, I moved on.

And as I said, with this Putz guy I wanted to know what he said he knew – it was ‘mind over matter.’ Metaphysics was my forte, natural ability & it interested me greatly. I was with Verna for 6 years – with the Putz only two. I listened to his bullshyt on & on, I supported him & had sex with him as he demanded it. And after I reached ‘the God within’ I didn’t need that situation any more. It’s not that he gave me the ability, but the time I was with him I quit the world & worked on self improvement, my tool being hypnosis – which he introduced me to. Dealing with this I achieved a goal without fully understanding it, & at this point Putz got dangerous. Like Verna later became, he was bent on hurting me, he got kind of crazy when my ‘Voice’ took over. He was baffled, jealous & mystified. He kept asking questions of my Voice & the answers amazed him.

As I explained, he got stranger at this time & I knew I had to flee for my life – Verna’s door was open for a price & I took it. I paid for what they both gave. {End Chapter 11}

Chapter 12 Channeling Queen Victoria – the Royal Cougar written 10-9-22

Been watching multiples documentaries on Queen Victoria lately & in doing so, connected with her mind. Channeling her has been eye-opening & allow me to share it.

The movies I saw are these people, a male & female, following all the great billionaireCastles & mansions where she stayed a day or more & was feted. At first I was just curious. But after seeing this & other films on her I was gob-smacked by the selfishness, ostentation & greed of these people – they are everything bad, including her. And she admits it from the other side.

Where is she? I suppose she’s in Heaven, but not a high place, she says, she is about like my Mom & her time in Purgatory she said was over 10 years.{Take that part with a grain of salt, it’s not set in stone, just my thoughts, not big revelations, I could be off.}

Here’s our conversation, some of which I’m repeating as we’ve been ‘speaking’ for days.

ME: Queen Victoria, the vision I’m set with after seeing all this material on you is how could you stand being yourself? Here you went to these Castles, Palaces, where they spent like 50k pounds to 90k lbs for your visit – all for status. What a WASTE of valuable resources!

You ate & drank, you walked around palatial grounds, Albert hunted what I assume to be ‘caged hunts’ because at one place, he killed an animal a minute for an hour & a half. He must have loved shedding blood.

Did it never occur to you how selfish, greedy & narcissistic you were? Also vain & proud, they say you went to Church & visited the chapels. What did you pray for? – More prestige, money, glamour & status?

V {QUEEN VICTORIA}: I was born into the place I was in & I did not struggle to see it any other way. Understand that we were all like that, a society that followed patterns, to the manor born.

I knew vaguely there were the poor, the destitute, the starving, the needy. I wasn’t ignorant. But I felt it had not much to do with me, it was not my station to save them,

“The poor you will have with you always,”

But I was called to be a Queen, to fulfill this position, destiny, a place of prominence & all that we did. I felt it was my duty to do what I did; I did not see it like you do, as sin.

And praying, as you know, ‘Desire is prayer.’ Whatever my lips might say to God, my desire was to be who I am, to gain in status & prestige, to be honored, to keep all my wealth & glory, & to live my days without danger of being beheaded.

ME: Around you, in your country & other dominions you controlled, including, God help us, India, there were millions of starving people, while you sat at a table that took dozens of servants to prepare 8 to 13 courses costing many thousands of dollars. That alone is obscene.

And the show hosts say they feted you like this FOR THEIR STATUS. The richer the fare, the surroundings, your service, the greater the opulence the more important they seemed.

What were these people trying to achieve? They already had status & money, what more was there?

V: its maintenance, we all wanted the same things; we were birds of a feather, like minded. Our milieu wanted to be the highest, the richest, and the most honored of all people. We were all in it together, supporting one another, propping each other up. I had achieved prestige of the highest rank through my ancestors. The others were second or third in line. We struggled to maintain what we had, not let anyone take it away from us. And if possible, expand & get bigger & bigger – like my ‘Empire’ was one on which the sun never set, & India was the ‘Jewel in my crown.’ Everything was an object, an acquisition, a front, a thing to be used, something of honor, power & prestige. And we chalked it all up to our Country – that we were helping Britain, our Nation, we were great human beings that way.

ME: You were not great human beings. If you were you would now be in a high place in Heaven, like Joan of Arc, whom your great country burned at the stake.

But where are you in Heaven, the proof of your life?

V: I am in a low place in Heaven. I see the Truth now but it’s too late. I was all the bad things you said – we all were. I did not try to change things, reform anything. I just went along with it, ‘dead bodies float downstream.’ I had my Heaven on earth, it is those Saints & good souls who suffered & helped others who have the highest places in Heaven, I have a low place. It’s too bad for me. If God had me return now through reincarnation, I would be the same & it would be very hard for me to improve. Reincarnation is to help us grow more, but it isn’t easy.

ME: I understand that for any one individual to reform the elite, the courtiers, is difficult.

{Last night saw a documentary on King Louis XVI who had 3 finance ministers, all of whom said the courtiers had to be taxed – their nation was bankrupt – but the elite would not give in. Louis could not stand up to them – he FIRED each minister against his own better judgment – & I hate to say he borrowed huge amounts from banks to finance our Revolutionary war against England – & we paid not a penny back, adding to the woes of France & their demise!} & in the end, the people had had enough & it turned Revolution & heads rolled – his entire family & court – so I know it’s not easy to make these elites PAY UP.}

But at the very least, you could have taken from your own funds, anonymously if need be, & set up soup kitchens & relief centers for the poor. You could have sent donations to the homeless & destitute through some sort of agency, secretly. You could have got some of your subjects to help those in the work houses & orphanages, which were PRISONS OF PUNISHMENT toward the poor. Your nation looked upon poverty as a crime & poor people as criminals – which is ridiculous. It is you & your ancestors who were the criminals. You fought wars against innocent people & took what they had. You injured & killed people, that’s where you gained your status. And then to turn around & stigmatize the poor as criminals is obscene, offensive, sinful & cruel. You did all that, you could have helped.

And you could have privately got at the very least, Albert & a few of your friends to help the poor out of your own millions. How could that have offended the elite, if you did not demand money from them?

And also, those dinners where they spent fortunes on you – you could have made a rule, like Jesus did, whenever there was a feast for him & his disciples, he said an equal table had to be set for the poor – & it was done. So you could have did something similar,

“Whatever you feast me with, you must also feed the poor”

Even if it wasn’t equal, as you ate the most expensive food on earth – truffles galore, at least give the whole town a decent meal – when you were there. But instead it’s all for you & your staff & more elites, nothing for the poor.

V: I know what you’re saying, it makes sense. But we had our minds in a different place. We did not think of the poor, we dismissed them from our minds, believe it or not. We did not associate with them, see them, or speak to them.

They did not have great representation in the government – no Patriarchal government has a Voice for the poor. The poor are downtrodden, exploited, used. We liked it that way. If there were no poor, where would we get our slaves / servants? Who would clean all the shit from the streets & the public toilets? Who would wait on us hand & foot for miserable wages? Who would tend our horses & carriages & animals & grow & harvest our crops?

We needed the poor to prop us up! We used the poor as always has been in Patriarchy.

ME: So you admit you were a dick in a skirt? Holding up the Kingdom of the world which is ruled by Satan?

V: Yes, without giving him a name, we were serving him. We weren’t weird, like doing rituals; we were just all for ourselves & our ruling class. That’s about it in a nutshell.

ME: I might add about John Brown. Were you in love with him & he with you? It bothers me that he said he would give his life for you. Why were you worth his life?

V: Yes, we were in love – me more so than he. He loved me as his Queen, a symbol. And his loyalty is like that of all potentates’ body guards. The man who stood in front of Queen Antoinette’s rooms at Versailles was murdered. Anyone who becomes a body guard has to be willing to sacrifice their life – in that context what he said was true – but he wasn’t that in love with say, a poor servant maid he’d give his life for, it was his Queen.

ME: In the documentary it says you could not have sex with anyone because you had a prolapsed uterus & it would have been very painful. But you could have given a blow job or a hand job or he you – you could have kissed & made out. Any of that?

V: Let’s leave that in silence for the moment.

ME: What about the 24 year old Hindu honey, 6’2” movie star looks. Were you a Cougar, lol? I know you were in love with him & he appreciated you, but any sex there?

V: I take the 5^th. Some day I will tell you about these guys if you have earned the right to know.

ME: My conclusion to all this is you elites are mostly all alike – I doubt if there is a one of you who’d stick their neck out to be decent or saintly.

V: Remember what I told you – most of the people out there that are looking at us Royals & cheering, not criticizing, but cheering, would do the exact same thing if they were in our position. Only a saint would buck the system. And that saint’s life would be in danger from the courtiers or elites.

ME: So it’s more the system that is at fault & all you individuals just fall into place? Why doesn’t anyone criticize you in these documentaries – you or any other Royals for their greed, vanity, narcissism, selfishness & so on?

V: The films you see are financed by rich & powerful companies, not by the poor, & so, they are basically on our side. And no one is allowed to preach against the Patriarchs in the mainstream. Of course, the alternative media do so, but they get a small audience.

ME: But the Russian & French Revolution are proof that the power can swing off the Royals, they can be assassinated or murdered, & even their courts. Are the English Royals afraid of that? Were you? What is their strategy to remain in Power & Wealth?

V: We were all afraid, in the past & present, of losing what we have, even our lives. We fight tooth & nail to keep it. The Monarchs work diligently on their propaganda, rites, and processions, demonstrations so they are seen as great stars & everyone else is intimidated by them.

We in Royalty are supposed to be but figureheads, not political & not influencing the government, – which exempts us from being attacked - but we do have influence.

We try to maintain a serious air of superiority, even though it’s getting harder & harder when we marry people who don’t tow the line – like Fergie & Diana. They disgrace us but we push on & hope for the best.

ME: But you Royals were & most of you still are evil, because you are not of God, & you don’t care about the poor. In ancient days, before Patriarchy, we had real Queens, a Mother God, & women were venerated. Women ruled the world, men obeyed. There was no war or weapons of destruction. We had peace. Notably, there was no poverty, everyone lived the same, even the Queen had scant few privileges above the rest. No one tortured, abused or exploited others. But this is Patriarchy & what you were part of.

What is your opinion of my life story & what will become of it?

V: You will be heralded & treated like I was – the Queen, lol. You will be recognized for the great things you’ve done, finally. You will be happy. You deserve recognition; you’ve not gotten any to speak of.

ME: My work, will it bear fruit? Will there be Temples to Mother God? A Sisterhood? All the plans I have for our New Religion, communities of women & their children – our Temples off limits to men. Will any of this occur if not in my lifetime, within a few generations?

V: All you wish for in time will occur. Rome wasn’t built in a day. It took about 500 years before Jesus’ religion became official. This is all new, but it will happen, make no mistake. And good luck with it. I wish you the best.

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Hillbillies Kill Their Parents

Chapter 10 Hillbillies who Kill Their Parents & other winners out here

written 10-7-22

Let me start with this beauty. I get a letter from a man that is basically a marriage proposal with a deal. He says his wife took off to go live with another woman & took half their money, leaving him with 400k. Now he’s looking for a serious relationship that will lead to the altar. And oh yes, gold diggers take note: He has a BAD HEART.

What does this man look like? Who is he? How did he get my address? This is Post Office mail.

I find out from a spy he works for the city as an accountant, is a sex maniac addicted to porn & his wife left him because of it. My guess is she did NOT join a lesbian partnership as he intimated, she just wanted to leave & had a lady friend she could share companionship & expenses with. I’ve had several men tell me that sob story as if the woman turned gay & I don’t believe it – they just wanted to get away & another door was open.

I speak to him by phone – I am extremely polite because he might come in handy & does. He’s got connections & I wanted a copy of a film about Female Empowerment PBS. I ask him if he can get it for me, he does, – sends it to me immediately & I’m pleased. So we are now friends.

Well, his letter worked with another female. He proudly brings her over my house – They got married!

First – how he looks. He’s a ‘little old man’ about 5’5” if that, almost bald, 65 & the most average guy I’ve ever seen. But he’s incredibly nice.

The female he scored is above his level. He’s maybe a 3 but she’s about a 5 or 6. She’s 45 at most.

That’s why he wanted to show me, he succeeded.

Oh yes, a crucial point. He tells me about the women who answered his letter, describes the ones he turned down. But this on was a winner because he’s watching a porn movie. She sees him & says,

“We don’t need that – we already know what to do.”

They visit, bringing me a book on how to save money on taxes, I made them dinner, it was Christmas. As we chat I tell them I am short of women friends & could Candy & I hobnob, go out to eat together maybe once every 2 weeks? It’s a go, that’s how I get to know her.

We go shopping at a good store for clothes – her idea. She shows me that she’s hard to fit as her bottom is 16 while her top is 12. She’s not fat, just out of proportion.

First week goes fine. Second week good also. Third week an eye opener. One week I pay, next she pays, after the 3^rd week we ‘broke up’ so I got screwed, lol.

She tells me about her young years. The guys didn’t like her that much. But she found the key how to get just about any date she wanted – sex. She makes herself available & becomes POPULAR. I am just a little startled by her admitting this, but it goes with my theory that it’s the ugly girls who do all the sex while the beautiful girls do less. This was confirmed to me by men. We’ll get into that later.

So we talk about our past & she tells me about her parents. Her Dad always said,

“We are not going to suffer. Once we get really sick, we’re going to commit hari kari {double suicide.} She said he said that for years.

And so, they do get sick – they both have cancer. She tells me her Dad had a loaded rifle upstairs, they now slept downstairs. She says,

“I knew he couldn’t get up the stairs to get that gun.”

So what happened? I ask. She says,

“I brought the rifle down for him……And he killed Mom, then himself.”

I am so taken aback I remain silent.

We continue talking & what broke us up is this.

I realized too late she had a complex about her looks, that men didn’t want her, & I admitted that I was popular with the guys. Her face fell. I knew it might be the end for us, & it was. She never called me again & didn’t answer my call.

Oh yes one more thing. I told her I don’t know how she could stand having sex with this new husband – he was so repulsive. And she says,

“I won’t have him for long.”

The Rotty Breeders

Soon after I moved to the country I had my heart set on a Rotty {Rottweiler} – the bigger the better. I found a breeder nearby, went there to find my pet.

The old lady owner showed me a litter – which one did I want? I chose the biggest one.

I called him “Guard of the Mystical Heart,” – GaGee Boy for short. He treed two people around here, lol, & a third was spooked out & cried, but somehow we managed. He grew to maybe 120 & he was quite the dominant male when I got any other dog – was always the boss. He intimidated the stray German Shepherd that was dropped off on the street in front of my house – but he also loved him.

This Shepherd was the best dog I ever had, but he suffered greatly under the previous owner {have no idea who it was}. Ever heard of a ‘whipped dog?’ You could tell he’d been abused as he cowered & cried when hurt, had little confidence, & twice, when I took off in the car with a couple of my little dogs, he chased us for MILES! He was afraid I was abandoning him! I was on the side of this woods on a hill with the small ones, & I see him on the road smelling here & there – we were 5 miles from home!

And to prove Gagee Boy loved his friend I gave food to Fruitcake {the Shepherd} in the front of the house while Gagee was to the back. The local Coon Hound came by – he was always greedy for food, & took over Fruitcake’s bowl apparently. I was in the house upstairs. Fruitcake was n fighter but he CRIED bitterly.

So Gagee boy hears him, comes around the house & sees what the Coon has done, & Fruitcake cowering. I heard a commotion such as never before in my life, it’s scary, I’m too afraid to go out until it stops, then I go out & the Coon is gone. My neighbor after tells me Gagee gave her dog 70 STITCHES!

I visit the old lady breeder several times, just to kibbitz & talk about dogs. I see something that perturbed me to no end. People would leave their dogs with her when going on vacation. She took care of them alright.

There was this poodle, I went with her. He was STILL IN HIS CARRYING CASE! She didn’t even give him a KENNEL or yard, or any place to move around – he’d been in the case for DAYS– I don’t know if she ever let him out. But now she had to clean the case & feed him, so she let him out, & he BIT her. She took her fist & beat him brutally – he wasn’t too big, maybe 20 lbs at most & she was able to overpower him, & she shoved him back in the case.

She showed me her Rotty – the biggest one on record, he must have been 300 lbs. She treated him OK. She told me,

“My son was gong to kill me once – but my dog stopped him.”

“They say he’s retarded {her son} but he’s not – he knows how to repair a radio.”

The son was weird indeed. He would ride around on the riding mower just for FUN. Back & forth, up & down the road. And on his sweater he had hundreds of safety pins. Some kind of diaper fetish?

This son yelled at me once when his Mom wasn’t there – I stopped by to look at the dogs through the wire fence. He was so nasty, I took off fast, not sure if he was crazed or what.

The old lady had gone blind – or almost so. I called to offer my sorrow & see if she needed help.

Then one day someone tells me,

“You know those Rottweiller breeders? The son killed his Mom with a baseball bat. He hit her from the back. He’s in jail on suicide watch.

Years later a handyman told me it was because she was going to leave the property to someone else.

When I thought of how she treated that poor poodle & maybe other dogs, I thought this could be karma.

They told me all the dogs were confiscated, & they were sick & beaten down. They were given away for free, the people who had them said they were troubled & some had intestinal problems. It took months to get them normal.

So this is the kind of people out here who look down on the Hollywood crowd & city people. We are all perverts & weirdoes – they’re the good guys……riiight. {to be continued}

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