College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Future Matriarchal Sisterhood

Future Matriarchal Sisterhood

Coming attractions Part 2 – 2-22-22

I see now the extension here of ‘Woman Thou Art God II’ – the new religion – as we are moving toward starting a sisterhood.

It occurs to me that I’m not trying to build a convent per se but a God-centered Matriarchal sisterhood & onceI added the Mosuo model it became clear. Now many things are falling into place.

The non denomination status of the Community is still valid, but there are things that must be affirmed, & things that are ‘open to personal choice.’ And it is important for me, as the beginning of this, to state what must be believed & practiced by ALL & what is open to free choice.

It is MANDATORY that all of us acknowledge God as a Mother rather than Father – it is ‘Mother God.’ It is MANDATORY that each member be baptized like so, with water on the forehead {& designate a Godmother & Godfather from the saints of any religion or from living persons}:

“I believe in, worship & dedicate myself to God my Mother, & I renounce the devil & all his works & pretensions,

“In the name of the Mother God, the Creation & the Holy Spirit.”

The reason for this is because we are Matriarchal & hearken back to the days before Patriarchy was invented – the entire world worshipped God as Mother, women were venerated & there was peace. Men brought violence & bloodshed into the world & they invented their ‘Father God’ & this is in all the Patriarchal religions – Christian, Jewish & Muslim. So we leave that error behind.

You say God is neither? God is Spirit? Indeed, none of us can define or identity Who or What God is absolutely. But we call God by what name is logical & comfortable, & being a Mother who cares for ALL her children not just those of her own blood & fellowship, is the principle we espouse.

There might be some women who want to join us but cannot & will not follow these first two principles. Not everyone can join our sisterhood. There must be agreement, harmony & unity. It might not be for ALL. We’re sorry, but if you cannot follow our basic principles, you can still follow our religion in the parts you agree with but cannot live inside the community as official sisters. Like if we are praying together & say ‘Thank you Mother God’ & you say under your breath ‘Father’ or ‘Jehovah’ or ‘Allah’ – imagining a man, then you are out of step with the vibes of the other sisters – & so we are non-denominational to a certain point, but not 100%.

I can see a Buddhist sister who acknowledges God as Mother will work – the same with Hindus who worship the various Gods – Ganesh, Durga, Kali, Shiva, Shakti & so on – but if to her Brahman the Chief is a man, & she only sees God as a man, she has to give that up & see Brahman as a woman. Call her Brahmani.

If a Muslim lady can see God as Mother-Allah, OK. If a Jew can see the Chief God as Mother by whatever name, fine. If a Wiccan or Pagan sees God as Mother Nature-Mother Spirit go for it. If an American Indian can see God as the Great Mother Spirit, OK. This Mother idea is MANDATORY & to most of us it takes getting used to – I used to be a brainwashed Catholic & even when I started preaching Matriarchy, in 2004 I called God a He. That didn’t last long, I saw the Light.

Now on to other things. The Catholic Church has ‘the Apostles Creed’ which I no longer recite as I differ with it. I believe Jesus chose Mary Magdalene as his successor & the men wrested it away from her. What else is new? This was seen by me after studying the principles of the Mary Magdalene Gospel, the Saint Peter Gospel & the revelations of Anne Catherine Emmerich. Anne Catherine said that Magdalene was the most contemplative & exalted of all the disciples & that she was the natural heir to Jesus’ ministry, but of course being a woman in a Patriarchal world, she was not given the chance. Even Our Holy Virgin, the highest of all people, could have led the Church & be worshipped as Goddess on earth, but this was forbidden from the beginning by the Catholic Church of men. (Let’s remember to call it ‘the CC OF MEN’ from now on, to point out it is a religion of men, by men, for men who want to hold women as their slaves. We aren’t buying it any more. For us, their tyranny has ended.

OK, I am the Foundress of this. And so, those who join have to have respect for me. They must acknowledge that I am, was a woman of God, that I am righteous. They don’t have to look up to me like a saint without faults or sins, that is not necessary. But that I obeyed God basically & generally doing my best, they should believe that. They cannot say negative things about me, laugh at me, explain all the ways I’m wrong & in general put me down, & remain loyal to our sisterhood & community. What is MANDATORY is RESPECT. If they don’t have this, they’re not one of the sisters of our community or religion.

Each sister must have a clear understand regarding the adult trade as therapy, not sin. The sins of each person do not come with a profession or lack of it – all religious {Priests nuns, ministers} are not without sin, all prostitutes & gigolos are not sinners. Sin is an individual matter between God & the person, no one of us can judge as it is inside the heart that one is good or bad. The Holy Spirit sees that, we in our flesh don’t. So reserve all judgment, no profession makes on a sinner – unless it is crime & hurts others such as stealing, exploitation, deceiving, abusing injuring & murdering others psychologically, emotionally, spiritually or physically. Let’s face it, many in the offices of Leadership fall into that category, in fact, many criminally-minded people go there & perpetrate their sins on us all. Do not judge the poorest of the poor, the untouchables & the vulnerable.

What do the saints say about this? They say more rich people go to Hell than poor, more men go to Hell than women – & the majority of humans go to Hell. This is borne out by many saints who saw the souls fall into Hell like embers from a fire – millions of them. See for example the visions of St. Veronica Giuliani.

What else must our sisters believe? They should have a healthy respect for all my teachings re the genders, that women are superior to men & that they should rule the family & the world & that human males are going extinct. If the member doesn’t understand this, it is mandatory that she study my teachings wherever they are posted & familiarize herself with them. We must be of like mind on this.

Basic tenets we follow are the teachings of Buddhism & Christianity & any decent religion espouses the same – Love God, love thy neighbor, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, whatever you do to the least of these you do to me (God) – & so, the greatest love & respect for animals. There is no untouchable caste, there’s no hate or exploitation of the poor or the vulnerable, there’s no violence, no hate (except for sin & the devil) or revenge, just see the basic teachings of Jesus & Buddha & you have our spirit right there.

About God – She knows all, sees all, can do all things. She is everything good. What is sin? Anything against God & love – turning against Her, loving evil, hating the neighbor, revenge, exploitation, cold heartedness, lack of faith, refusing to believe in the good. Does God forgive? – Of course, if we ask, but we must desire forgiveness.

As far as hate or revenge, this is important. If any of our members betrays us, leaves us & bad mouths us to the world – we do not wish them harm. St. Benedict made this point. There was a guy who was a thorn in their side, he was a major enemy. One day they were doing construction & a wall fell on him & killed him. The monks rejoiced. St. Benedict said no; do not rejoice at the misfortune of your enemies. Other saints pointed out that Jesus & Mary took no revenge against his torturers & those who laid him on the Cross. Let God do the revenge. She knows how, it’ not our place.

Recently a lady I had prayed with daily for one year cursed me. I had said a year was enough; let’s quit praying as I must now turn to other things. She was so angry she cursed me. Everything went wrong. I spilled a cup of thick honey coffee on my computer; a pot of greasy chicken I was cooking on the stove {for the cats} boiled over & knocked out two of my burners. I got sick with ocular migraines & indigestion that went on for hours – all because of her curse. I knew it was a time of testing & prayed,

“No hate, no revenge dear God, I forgive. I feel no ill will toward her.”

The curse fizzled out, the keyboard is still whacky but I work around it, the stove got made right, my migraines & stomach pain went away. God favored me. What if I had sent hate? I would have hurt myself.

In respect to animals I suggest we cut down our meat eating & concentrate on vegetarian dishes. I just saw a lady prepare a veggie meat loaf which substituted beans & nuts for meat. She said it was delicious. How do we know how great vegetarian dishes unless we try them? There’s a challenge for our Chefs & all of us. We are used to meat in America – every day. It isn’t called for. Too much factory farming, much torture for animals, violent deaths, too little respect for them. Check out all the other cultures on the internet, like Tibetans – those who live in extreme conditions – & Europeans. My family is from Eastern Europe & we ate meat occasionally. It was served on Sundays & Holidays, most other times we ate potatoes (lots), eggs (our own), cheese (home made), fruit & berry preserves & flour-based dishes (many).

Italians traditionally do not consume huge amounts of meat. Let’s give the animals a break ,we aren’t starving.

Being Alone – This is important

As far as spiritual development, there are many phases of it. We are a God-based sisterhood; therefore, we have to do what brings sisters closer to Her. One of these is the principle of BEING ALONE.

Indeed we are a community. But there’s another phase of spiritual development, & that is what’s called being an anchorite, hermit, recluse or solitary contemplative for the sake of God.

What happens when a person, seeking to find God, feels they need to be alone, away from people & the common society? Why would one want to be alone? What instinct impels them?

Here is the secret which I have known before but it was placed upon my mind just yesterday: When God calls you to be alone, it is for this – to open your heart to Her & Her alone. What is the heart? The heart is the feeling system. Why does one have to be alone to open the heart?

Because in the world we are at the mercy of its spirit. Most people are not saints; we live in fact in a deeply troubled, unloving society called Patriarchy. Its thoughts & values are not those of God as taught by Jesus, Buddah & all the saints of all religions – including Pagans & Wiccans.

The society of people in the world is filled with those unevolved, who are heading for Hell & sinners who will some day develop but they have not yet done so. The world that surrounds us contains much negativity, spiritual failure, hate, envy, anger, revenge, all the bad things & including the demonic.

And so, when we are in the world we are assaulted on every side – by our relatives, friends, co-workers, people at large. How does this affect us? We close our hearts or feelings system, in order to insulate us from pain.

When we are children we are usually protected by parents & family. Our hearts are open. At this time we are sensitive, & have intuitive powers that later close up. Why is this compromised? Because as we grow up we are more involved in people & the world, & all the negatives, so we have to shut down our sensitivity. Along with this closing up comes the inability to commute with God, we lose our intimacy with God, as we relate to God with feelings & inner senses as well as the mind.

When a person is called to solitary contemplation, be it in the mountains or at home like St. Catherine of Sienna, we abstract ourselves from the world & people & we permit our feeling system – the heart – to open up once again. It takes time, but after a while, we begin to experience intimacy with God & all the thoughts, feelings, intimations & visions which come from the higher level, the deeper self. The clutter of the world disappears, the lowness of people no longer assaults us, we are alone to experience happiness if & when demons are not attacking.

There are numerous examples of this aloneness like Buddha & Jesus. Buddha went into the jungle to practice asceticism until he found Enlightenment. Jesus went up the mountain prior to his ministry to Israel for 40 days & 40 nights.

Many Christians became hermits after Jesus. Even before Jesus Prophets lived alone, were often considered fools. They lived in mountains & deserts, often starving. This aloneness of God’s people most probably occurred even before we had the written word – pre-history.

It’s an instinct spiritually speaking to leave the world to find God. I did it myself in a 6^th floor walkup in my apt in B‘klyn. I told all my relatives & friends to leave me alone, no calls, no letters, no nothing. All I did was pray, read spiritual books, sing to God, fasted every Sunday, slept on the floor. It was the happiest time of my life & the most visions of God I’d ever had. Everything happened. Jesus had already given me 3 rings of light in Jan. 1978. Now Mary appeared to me & gave me the infused virtues of Poverty, Chastity & Obedience. Vision after vision occurred, I was running a sensible ministry to Purgatory most notably, helped Errol Flynnn, speaking to him daily until he ascended. Ditto my Dad, I bilocated to Purgatory.

Then the awful event of Stigmata, I shall never forget the pain. Interior stigmata is no less horrible than exterior wounds. This was Oct 9, 1982, when it began. I had been alone nearly a year, after this I could only stay alone for a while, then had to go back to work – I’d been living as a pauper but happy as a clam.

My aloneness to that degree ended but I have noticed, whenever I am alone again, some of the happiness & intimacy come back.

It took me, by the way 20 years to pay for the grace of Stigmata – I was in the ‘dark night of the soul’ for 20 years which meant I could not feel the presence of God, I lived by faith alone. I wrote & published a book on it but I need to revise the beginning as my understanding of theology was inferior to what it is today.

I think I have made my point about being alone. That’s what ‘retreats’ are for, where people presumably forget their societal cares, let go of things, & dwell on the inner reality of God.

And so, the vicar of each Sisterhood will have to take into consideration that some ladies might come to a time when they need to be alone with God, & her freedom to do this would have to be granted. How this would be accomplished would start out small & later on, become advanced. First one who expresses she has to be alone could stay in her room & be excused from common activities, take her meals alone, pray & study alone. She of course could be allowed to go in the garden, the woods, to be close to nature but the other sisters would be advised not to involve her.

Later, when our order becomes more advanced, we could set up huts, hermitages & the like, according to the terrain & weather of the area.

Now my property is extremely cold in winter even going below zero. But there’s enough room for many hermitages where the sisters would not be in each others way or crowded at all. I have studied survival & homestead techniques & as long as a person has a strong shelter, with a good stove & lots of wood, they can survive. I saw one young female built herself a hurt with a good fire & she was fine several bad winters in a row. Provisions would have to be made for food & all the materials needed to cook & basic amenities, but these are not resorts, they are huts for those who seek God.

One now-famous English Buddhist nun spent 12 years in a cave in the Himalayas. She had almost nothing, even grew her own vegetables in a tiny garden, a few books, not sure what else she did to survive but she survived & it was the happiest time of her life. She wanted to go back to that but decided for the sake of sisters to instead work on building convents for them – she has built three in India. She had nothing but went on tour to raise the money.

I will not have to raise the money, simply leave what I have for the sisters, I am told I will have a great deal of money from my life story. And so my wealth will be put to good use.

Another note is we will have lots of animals including large dogs for protection & cats for companionship. The hermits could consider each having a large dog for protection in case males decide to bother them. We will use the utmost caution with security– the greatest danger on earth is human men. We will be neither naive nor paranoid, just face reality. (End coming attractions.)

College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Coming Attractions

I Strip for God coming attractions in Part 7 & other volumes

https://www.lulu.com/spotlight/rasavonwerder

Simpleton Joe Tex, Creepy Jackie Wilson, Zombie Richard Pryor, Little Richard, Johnny Mathis, Shirley Bassey, Ike & Tina Turner.

More on Tom Selleck & Hawaii, Max Baer of Beverly Hillbillies gets mad at me (CA).

A DWARF tries to rape me. Hedy Lamarr’s fence.

Mr. America Harold Poole, Mr. America Vern Weaver, Mr. Universe Chris Dickerson, Mr. Universe Franco Columbo, Mr. Universe Mickey Hargitay, Mr. America Mike Katz, the Hulk Lou Ferrigno, Mr. Universe Boyer Coe, Mr. Everything Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Hillbilly Hoods – I Move to the Country. Man I buy my Rotty from kills his Mom with a baseball bat.

Trapper captures dozens of my beaver & muskrats, skins them, & leaves their bodies 100’ from my house,

Hunter who I stopped messing on my land kills a deer, beheads her, & leaves her right on my path where I go to the woods,

My first night at the new house, in the back yard putting food for animals, bullets whistle all around me as drunk hoods are laughing & shooting randomly from the dirt road behind my house.

When I arrive in the country am told a man 2 miles away shot a woman, hung her up like a deer & gutted her like a deer.

Neighbor kids invade my property pretending to ‘help’ & cause the death of my beloved goose & all her goslings.

Boys in town puncture the tires of all the new cars, another set of punks knocks over the gravestones in a cemetery.

Men are having hunting accidents left & right. One disables an innocent boy walking on a dirt road, another one takes his son with friends into the woods, somehow blows the boys head off, then shoots himself. Five hunters invade my land; I catch them with a deer bleeding out of the trunk of their vehicle, face 5 men with guns & ask them to leave my property.

Dating a hit man in NY – memories of long-ago NY, 16 yrs old met DJ ‘Symphony Sid’ & he takes me to see Jimmy Smith & Mongo Santamaria, tries to kiss Mongo a French kiss, wow, does he get mad, Sid is NUTSO alcoholic, drives like a maniac. When I return to NY somehow connect with him again & see him the last day he’s on the air (1972?).

More places I danced all over U.S. & Canada, Hawaii & Puerto Rico, crazy people I met, nice people, unusual, interesting people. (The wig sniffer, the gay manager who snagged a sex date because of me) the sailor who thought he was dating a different woman after I changed outfits, the born-again Christians who picketed me in Texas & Hawaii, Zula’s Saloon—Evansville, Indiana—the minister who wanted me to go to his Church & say he saved me, why? Because he got caught with a hooker & wanted to say he only went to these places to save women, I would be his front. Etc., many other anecdotes.

Childhood anecdotes, Waccabuc, wild roses from my Dad to Ara & Henry but she doesn’t appreciate it, – Ara & Henry get a Boxer from the pound, he likes to ‘kiss’ children, they keep making him ‘kiss’ my 4 yr old half sister, I cringe as I see he bares his teeth & wants to bite her, later he bites a 4 yr old boy in the face, but no one listened to me, – the red bird we save that was caught in between windows, we all gather in a circle around him, he drinks water & flies away, – I collect frogs in our swamp, bring them to school for ‘show & tell,’ – Instead of a sandwich, all I eat for lunch is one huge carrot, 5^th grade, every day, – same year, I create my own ‘magazine’, with pictures, poems & a short story in a large spiral notebook, etc. MANY other childhood & family anecdotes, I write them as I remember them.

The CRAZY MODELS I photographed

One female has an abortion every year – blames the guys. Has a fit every day while working, ranting & raving on whoever is there. Another model is a thief, gets an advance & takes off. The third is a raving alcoholic on binges, I take her bottle away, she gets hysterical, demands I pay her off & disappears for 3 weeks. I make out a missing persons report. Find out later she got raped, thrown into jail for telling off a cop, all kinds crazy stuff as she went from bar to bar, hitchhiking & drinking. When she gets home, she reports to the FBI that I’m doing illegal stuff – the FBI shuts down my B’klyn mailing address & investigates me for one full year, realizing at the end I was not doing anything illegal. But during that year I was SICK ALL THE TIME FROM STRESS.

The female models I met locally, who did not stay overnight or weekends, all conducted themselves in a normal fashion, were great to work with.

The male model experience was one I would not wish on an enemy. They were crazy, greedy, insulting & DANGEROUS. I had to take one back to the bus station, shaking in my pants I would not be able to get rid of him or he’d get violent. Another one I found out later carried a gun in his suitcase & he sneaked out early taking two expensive jackets. A third one I had to call the cops on, he was threatening me for more money. And last but not least one clown sued me on a lawsuit that cost me about18 grand to defend myself. I won of course, but good lawyers charge $300 an hour – & the guy was the worst flake, complainer, lazy, greedy filthy gigolo I had ever met. Others were funny, some insulted & hurt me. I am glad that chapter of my life shall never be repeated. What good came out of it? I worked like a dog for four years, learned photo shop & have a huge collection of great photography. Have used the work in a few books & will do so in many more. Not a one of these guys became my friends, not even the guy I used thirteen weekends. But they still had the guts to call me later on requesting money – for what? Because they needed it.

The COUGAR experience. Why on earth would God want me to quit celibacy & have ‘fun’? Why allow me to sink down into the flesh when I had conquered my sex drive with 30 years abstinence, I was at peace. Why did you, God, let me degrade myself, suffer with lust like a fat person wanting food sinking lower & lower into misery? Why take me from happiness into this? You said I would be outside Your will if I remained celibate & stayed ‘home.’ So I obeyed. No one believed me that God made me do this, perhaps some day they will. And again I ask why? Why – Why?

And God said this to me the other day:

“It’s hard for you to understand, but I chose you & I used you to do my work. You know yourself that one of the worst things Patriarchy has taught people, especially women, that sex is dirty & it’s a sin; it must be controlled by the Patriarchal rules. And so, I used you to break open barriers, to be an example of one who is morally good but active in sex. I know you’d been sexually involved before, but you became celibate, which to some would see that you turned your back on sex as it was bad – which would be agreement with society. But when you turned back to sex & went whole hog into it, as a Cougar no less, that justified sex. And I wanted to open the doors to sex for women, to show them not to be afraid of men, to be free, to make their own rules. The most important thing is that YOU DID NOT SIN, YOU OBEYED. Yes, society thinks you sinned, but I, God did not. I sanctioned it. Few women could have been strong enough to do what you did, as you have been laughed at, judged & condemned all your life, & now this.

Now & after you’re dead, you will be a BRIDGE to liberate & justify others who are in the sex trade or otherwise sexually active. They have been forced to be ‘non persons,’ ashamed & pariahs in society. But sending you out there, you will be known to many as a decent person, even a saint, & yet you did this – you had sex with a lot of men, even in old age. And so, many women will cling to you, have hope in your example & stop the shame & guilt that is so psychologically DEADLY. When a person feels that way they dislike, even hate themselves, & they can’t be happy. So I have used you, you obeyed to do my work, in helping & liberating others from sexual repression.”

OK God, I will write down what I experienced as a Cougar & that will justify & liberate other women so they won’t be so ashamed, embarrassed & guilt-ridden by their sexual experiences. A lot of it was degrading, because when a person is hungry for sex they do demeaning things to get it, they lose their pride. But so what? It’s not a sin, the main thing is, I did not sin & that’s all that matters to my Eternal Life. {End coming attractions}

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College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

I Am the Goddess

Chapter 11 Part 6 2-12-22 I Am the Goddess

People want to know who I am, what I think, what is that new religion I created? Let me answer in this way.

I am the Goddess. I do not conform to any limited sphere of thinking, nor any one religion. I am Catholic, Protestant, Hindu, Wiccan, Pagan, etct. I take from every religion I study, believe in the Saints of all religions. I studied the Egyptians & took from them, the Santerias are OK by me, every religion that worships God & Nature I am one with – the only thing I reject is anything against God, the Good, Charity, Kindness & Love.

I recognize that people are Creatures of God & all have God within them, as does all life & animals. I believe all animals go to Heaven as they cannot sin. I believe as the saints teach me, the majority of humans go to Hell because they choose to. The path to Hell is simply ignoring God & being uncontrite & unrepentant of sin.

But all those who love God, are the friends of God, are my friends also & I pray for them every day & have charged my Guardian Angels, if God agrees, to pray for the Good & Souls in Purgatory until the end of time. I have designated certain prayers I’ve asked my Guardian Angels to repeat daily this way {for instance, prayers to prevent child abuse} & I believe God will ratify this. I don’t see why not. For angels, prayer requires no effort.

I have obeyed all that I know about God which I have learned from various religions. I have prayed items the average person ignores. For instance, I have made recompense for each child aborted in my family, including the seven my Mom aborted & the one I did {I was raped}. They have heard my prayers – {which I learned from a book.}

I have said the prayers recommended for death long ago – around 1981. I have purchased 1k worth of Holy Masses for my own departed Soul. I certainly will trust no one to do it for me. I have seen how un-responsible people are toward the departed. The dead will be lucky to get a few Masses, sometimes none, no Masses or prayers. I will handle my own Soul.

What I have learned from my long life {76 now} is not to be so naïve & gullible, not to trust people much, not to expect a lot of them, not to depend on them a lot, but to stand on my own two feet as much as I can. This is not easy but I have tried. At times I cannot do it on my own & then I seek God to bring me the help through people or otherwise, but I will not compromise my morals or character to get help from others.

I will not extend hate or prejudice or judgment upon anyone, certainly not those society has designated as ‘untouchables.’ These would be the ‘other’ races people despise or the poorest of the poor, or the unusual / different in lifestyle {homos, lesbians, transgender, etc.} or those in the adult trade, sex therapists, gigolos – which I am one one – certainly don’t despise myself.

My first priority is always to be the woman of God & if that costs plenty so be it. If that makes me a Pariah or weirdo or strangeling, I’m in good company – most of the Saints were thought of that way. No, I struggle not to lower myself to our society – they are the Pharisees Jesus condemned – the ‘Holier than thou’ people. Mind you, if most people are going to Hell & you go along with them, then you will be with them, it’s called ‘the broad Highway to Hell.’

[slb_group]

I once was brainwashed but now I’m not. The religion I was born into told me I had to believe a certain way, & that was it. But God told me otherwise.

No one knows & understands God, we see God through a glass darkly & we will never understand Her no matter how hard we try & how much we study. There is no Commandment that says

“Thou Must Understand God’,

it is IMPOSSIBLE. And so for anyone to tell you their religion is the one & only way, they are wrong – don’t listen. God tells us to love Her with ‘all our heart soul & mind,’ but She does not EXPECT us to understand Her no matter how hard we try.

Therefore, all those who follow their God invent or imagine ideas, rituals, holidays & so on, by which they recognize, obey & communicate with God. They pray, make images, totem poles, statues, they dress up, do routines, celebrate holidays, all in the name of God in various ways. Each person does what they consider OK, either they were born into a sect or chose one, & they do it to relate to God. No one is the only one right, no one is all wrong; they do it according to their preference & understanding.

God hears all, receives all, God knows all, & that’s all there is to it.

People have dressed differently in different epochs, none of it was wrong. They wore their hair this way or that, they practiced health rituals – none of this was bad. Religion is the same way.

This does not mean that I believe the doctrine of every religion – because they are at variance, sometimes contradictory. I take from each religion, belief wise, what I think is right & reject what’s wrong. I don’t swallow every word the Catholics teach me nor that of Protestants, but both have great qualities. So I take the good, resist the bad. One example it’s ‘faith & works’ we are saved by, not faith alone, that Martin Luther Sr. ruined by removing ‘& works.’ And the Protestants don’t venerate Holy Mary, but to me, She is the equal of Jesus – not to the CC but to me. It was She who appeared to the human race more times than Jesus to save humans during war & crisis.

And of course, we all hate, unless we’re demons, the great Women’s Holocaust – the Inquisition – perpetrated by the Catholic Church at the height of their power {Indeed, they also tortured & killed mega-many of those whose beliefs differed.} To me this exemplifies WHAT MEN ARE LIKE WHEN THEY HAVE GREAT POWER. I was surprised to learn recently that it was Napoleon Bonaparte who stopped the Inquisition. He confiscated all their documents on the genocide – 13 thousands trunks filled with data. I previously thought Napoleon was just another warlord, but after that, I was grateful to him.

I’m big on the Hindu-Yoga traditions; certainly adore the great Buddha, he is the forerunner or template of Jesus – both of them great Avatars. But of course I deplore the Caste system, as did Buddha & Jesus. Their doctrines I accept wholeheartedly.

The idea of the Goddess Durga who also turned into Kali to stop Patriarchy also appeals to me. The God’s & Goddesses are figments of our imagination – how we portray God. But God does have Infinite Powers & appears in Infinite ways, & through our finite thinking we model images of God to show Her various traits. Ganesh portrays Power & prosperity, Shiva the Masculine, Shakti the Feminine, these are imagined Faces of God which doesn’t make them wrong, it’s just what we conceive & if we need to see God in physical form, that’s fine, nothing wrong with that.

In America as elsewhere we have many sects, whose beliefs don’t coincide with mine, especially the Patriarchal, misogynistic ones. But I do respect the kind & sincere people who accept these religions – they try their best to follow what they believe, & that’s all God wants of us – to try our best. I don’t believe in some ideas of the Jehovah’s Witnesses or the Mormons but I respect those in it who love God. I don’t believe in the Patriarchal viewpoint of the Amish or Hutterites – the way they hold women down & deprive members of some human rights – but I don’t judge or condemn them & respect the sincere ones. There are many sects I don’t adhere to but that doesn’t mean I dislike the people in them – many are great souls who love God.

To find what I’m pushing today – what I believe the world needs – is to check out ‘Woman, Thou Art God,’’ the ‘new religion for women only.’ I think at this time, we must offset the thousands of years of Patriarchy, its brutal brain washing & lies against women. A future of women-only is moving toward us, this religion coincides with that. You can check my book on Amazon to preview it, in the ‘see inside’ facility; you’ll get the idea what it’s about. It’s ‘safe space’ for women – women dominate all of it from doctrine to rituals, but every activity & routine of the religion is not set in stone, it’s a work in progress, I give mostly the point of departure, women will write their own behavior, Commandments, scriptures, Sacraments, rituals & the like. Maybe there will be different sects of ‘Woman Thou Art God’ where some will lean this way, others that way, but the common ground will be Female Supremacy, females write the rules, the agenda, females meet in the temple where men cannot tread. Men of course can follow our religion without entering our temple – as women do in the Muslim faith. It’s a belief recognizing the God within & seeing we are One with Her, accessing Her & allowing Her to guide us to Salvation.

A word about the Wiccans – Witches to most people. I endorse the Dianic, female-led Wiccans as well as Pagans. They are not UNGODLY as the Patriarchal religions claim, they worship God through Nature.

The great anthropologist Marija Gimbutas said even in her lifetime, the Lithuanians – previously Pagans – would kiss the ground before planting their crops, thanking Mother Nature, & kiss it again when harvesting. That is loving God through nature.

I found out we had a Wiccan sect in my area & joined them. It was a wonderful adventure, like Girl Scouts. We met in the woods – a hundred of us, males & females. We all spoke, danced & shared food. Women designated as Goddesses wore capes & spoke I can’t recall what – but it was good. Everyone had a turn to speak during the ritual – we were all important, not like the bigger-than-thou Priests & Ministers of the Patriarchal sects.

The reason I eventually left was they wanted equal rights – egalitarianism – balance they said. How’s there balance when the lunatics are running the asylum? I wanted Female Supremacy & felt if I couldn’t get it here, where could I? In the ancient days Wiccan women were supreme & dominated the belief system. But if it’s diluted now to give men equal rights that doesn’t satisfy me. Yes I believe in equal rights ‘under the law’ like equal benefits, equal punishments for crimes, but females must run the family & the world & all that is in it including religion. If men want their own religion let them go their way & follow it, – just men & the dicks in skirts who follow them – But we don’t submit to them or their religion.

I might add re the spiritual realm, if one practices a certain religion to the max, there are roadmaps & markers along the way which foretell if one has reached a certain mark, like proficiency or sainthood or consciousness or Oneness or some sort of mystical closeness to God. If you want to reach certain markers in certain religions, you have to follow them zealously with all your heart & cannot flit from one to another at that time, you have to stick to what you’re doing until it’s done, & then you move on. The best example of this was Ramakrishna, a Hindu who practiced various religions like worship of baby Krishna, uniting with Jesus, & entering Nonduality, until he reached the Zenith of each marker, then he moved to the next level. I have done this also in the Catholic religion as well as Yoga. I have most of the Graces the Catholic Church teaches were conferred upon Saints & I accomplished this by imitating the Saint’s lives. {Don’t laugh, there are saints in the adult trade, sex is not a sin unless there’s exploitation or abuse. It’s one of the Patriarchal lies that masturbation, fornication & adultery are always sins – BIG LIES.}

Now as far as judging or evaluating people, we must be very careful not to judge them by their outer lifestyle or profession. A person is not their exterior or their job. They do what they have to do, what they can do, to make a living. They live as they can do best to survive. Do not judge people by their job, profession or lifestyle, what they are, who they are is inside, & this only the Holy Spirit can reveal to you. But if you have no relationship to the Holy Spirit, if you cannot hear the Voice within, cannot see visions or have dreams or intimations from God, then you are blind to the other dimension & you cannot hope to see what’s inside another. You simply have no idea who or what they are, if they are good or bad.

I have noticed that wherever I go & touch people lives are changed, there are healings & answers to prayer. This is because of the Anointing. I know God has sent me & chosen me to do Her work on earth, & I have done it, & it isn’t over although I’m old, my health is not like it used to be, I cannot dance like I used to {although I do a bit}, but I can sit & do many things, including write. It was time to do what I did when I was young, time to do what I do now. If I could still dance, run, & exercise the way I did before I might be hiking average 2 hours a day, exercising like a champ – & 75% of the energy & time I’m now using for writing would be used up. One door closes, another opens.

All that happened in my life, good & bad, was foreseen & permitted by the Grace of God, & God turned bad into good. That applies to everyone, if they have Faith. The best advice I can give to people, now or ever is practice virtue. Have Faith in God / Good, Hope & Charity for all. {except don’t bother with the demonic, if you know they’re enemies of God by the Holy Spirit revealing it to you, or by the negative effect they have on your life, try to stay away from them. Don’t wish them harm, just absent yourself from them.} Learn what the virtues are, read about saints. They persevered, they forgave, they endured, they withstood all hardships to get to where they were going.

They did not rely on the things of the world to bring them happiness, they communicated with God, they prayed / meditated, they sacrificed the lower things for the higher, they cared about others {but did not waste time with reprobates if they knew they chose Hell. And even if they are not reprobates, if they hate you or lack respect for you, if you can, stay as far away from them as much as possible – even your own relatives – especially your relatives as whoever can access your heart can hurt you the most.}

Learn virtues, practice them & that will be the Key & answer to all of life.

That’s what I have done & if I have succeeded it’s by the Grace of God & relating to Her through virtues.

PS I forgive all who have injured me from the day of my conception & accept the forgiveness of all those I have hurt. Amen.

College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Uncategorized

Souls Ascend into Heaven!

2-5-22 Several Honored Souls Ascend

There were many scenes, but I only recall the main ones.

I’m in a restaurant where I’m one of several waiters.

I get a dish from the kitchen. It’s two pieces of breast meat of chicken & they don’t give it to me on a plate, just right into my hands. Each piece of chicken is very light, soft & pliable, it hangs in my hands like soft rubber, & they are both kind of like clinging to one another.

*** {LIGHT SOFT CHICKEN: These are the Masses I said this day & why two because I said two Masses or else it could be that I consecrate ‘the Body & Blood of Jesus & Mary” who symbolically & spiritually are cling together as One.

It’s soft like that because I use parts of tortillas as the elements & they are soft & ‘rubbery’ in my hands.} ***

I walk into the dining room & am looking for a plate, which I find on a table – a white rectangular thick ceramic plate, like maybe a foot long & 6” wide with soft ridge / frame around it, like an exclusive restaurant might have.

* {WHITE CERAMIC PLATE: Is my table, as my kitchen table is made of white tiles.} *

I then ask the host who this goes to. He points to an empty table to the right, saying,

“To that lady there,’

& although no one is sitting there I go & place the chicken at this table. There are several other plates here with dishes, the table has a white tablecloth, I guess the lady’s in the rest room or something & how could I have known there is a lady there?

* {THAT LADY WHO IS NOT THERE: By the flowers everywhere this sounds like a funeral or funerals. That the lady ‘is not there’ could be saying she’s not on earth, but it might also say she’s already ascended in anticipation of this / these Holy Masses. {God sometimes does that, in anticipation of something about to happen, God gives a person the Grace they would receive.} *

As I make my way back toward the kitchen I maneuver through tables everywhere – small ones, each of which has bouquets of flowers. There are beautiful flowers everywhere, large pink blossoms, you can hardly make a path through them, the floor is even littered with rose petals.

* {FLOWERS EVERYWHERE EVEN PETALS ON THE FLOOR: This sounds like multiple funerals for several people – there being several waiters also indicates there’s several people getting Masses**. Maybe there was an accident where a few folks got killed.

The petals mean ‘procession’ as when there’s a procession to honor someone – this lady & / or others could have been distinguished persons, greatly loved. Maybe it was a great nun, other nuns or Priests, could have been Holy Saints.} ***

And I am not the only server – there are maybe 5 servers I see going from table to table.

MEANING: This might be saying that you & several others offering up Holy Masses have released several distinguished Souls into Heaven this day. You do not see the lady or the other clients, you only see the servers. That’s a hint they ascended, otherwise you’d see them.

College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

TOO BAD FOR MARVIN

TOO BAD FOR MARVIN Part 3 Chapter 9 – written 2-3-22

I said the Holy Mass for Marvin last evening, hoping strongly for his improvement – seeking for a spark of spiritual life – but had this dream:

I am hanging out with an old black boyfriend, one of the first I dated & related to as a Cougar – it must have been 2008 or “09. He was evil {not for what he did but who he was INSIDE}, a former drug pusher who was familiar with jail for that as well as being with an underage girl a while – the Mom of the girl apparently turned him in, he spent a year locked up. Of course I didn’t know this when we first hooked up, people don’t have resumes written on their torso stating their bad traits, in the beginning they put up a front.

So I’m with this guy & he’s acting just like the one mentioned, whom I’ll call KaSuck. KaSuck is always looking to con somebody out of something. So now he finds out about my friend, a lawyer, who has a trust fund that pays him good money. Somehow he gets hold of paperwork to the trust fund & takes it to the banker who releases it.

The banker is innocent, doesn’t know the scheme, thinks KaSuck is legit, & runs it through a machine – a small one on the counter against the wall – The machine gives him the name / identity of the recipient to validate it, then doles out the money {come to think of it somewhat like an ATM with credit cards, except these cards are bigger}

But too bad for the thief, the money won’t come out because his identity cannot be verified, the ‘cards’ the fund is on are wet. KaSuck gives some excuse how he got them wet – smiling – he always has a lie for everything.

We then leave & there were many scenes that are forgotten, perhaps this will do to illustrate our point.

MEANING: Wow, Marvin Gaye could not receive the Grace of the Holy Mass.

There are two possibilities. One, he is in Hell. ‘Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter Here’ says Dante’s Divine Comedy. Once a person is confirmed for Hell – a reprobate – there is nothing you can do for them. I have been friendly with several people like this, theyappeared to me in dreams & visions. One of them I was praying for & told God I would make sacrifices for him – as he was doing me favors – & he appeared & said to me

“Rasa, don’t try to help me, I’m going to Hell. I don’t care about anything except this material world, I don’t care where I go – don’t waste your time.”

He did me a favor which is not typical of the Hell bent; God must have constrained him to do it.

A couple other people I was friendly with I stopped because God showed me they were lost & would stay there – they did not want to change.

It’s a matter of free will. Our life state is based on our will & decisions. God wants us to love out of our own will – we cannot be forced or pushed, because then it isn’t free & is not true love. So if we reject love / God this is permitted – our choice & God will not force a change.

And so, these people cannot receive grace as they have rejected it by their own decision. You cannot help them, you waste your time praying or sacrificing for them – the Grace of your good deeds would go to someone else perhaps, by the mercy of God. But if you are sensitive to the other world like I am, God speaks to you & explains the situation so your efforts are spent elsewhere.

The principle of the Holy Mass not working for Marvin can be said this way ‘Dead people can’t eat,’ & Marvin is spiritually dead. Dead people also cannot enter Heaven. Their souls have no Light, they are in darkness. They have bodies & seem alive, but when the body dies the soul, which is unborn, unignited, no spark of life, sinks down into places called Hell, & they live for eternity it is said, in states of misery devoid of Love.

I must add – it can be hard to tell who these people are. Many reprobates have pleasing personalities, do good deeds, they are even Popes & Pastors, & unless the Holy Spirit shows you, you don’t know what’s inside them.

And on the other spectrum, some terrible people are actually good inside; they are sick, confused, bewildered & damaged & seem evil & crazy, but they are saved because deep inside they are good. Trust only the Holy Spirit to tell you the inside of a person.

Now, there is another possibility. It is that although he is in a Hellish state, it’s Purgatory, but he simply isn’t READY for the Holy Mass to be attributed to him.

Let me explain. You can only receive as much Grace as your karma will permit.

My husband, Richard Von Werder – a good man – died, & I proceeded to do the Gregorian Masses for him – which is 30 Masses in a row. Then I stopped. {St. Gregory the Great was Pope 540-604 AD, & he decreed this was appropriate for people that passed.}

When I finished the series I had a dream in which Rich appeared, asking God to have me say more Masses. But God said to him, in so many words, that his karma did not permit any more.

To show you how good Rich was, at my request, he left 8k worth of Masses for Souls in Purgatory including his family, 2k of it for himself– obviously a great act of charity. And yet, his karma did not permit me to say more than 30 Masses – which I cannot explain.

And so, the alleviation of pain is determined by God with the karma of the person in mind. In other words, we can only do so much & no more. We cannot take a person in the lowest state of Purgatory & catapult them into Heaven instantly, there is a ‘price’ to pay – which is really not punishment but cleansing, & this cannot all be wiped out faster than karma permits.

Dear Rich was only in Purgatory about 8 months, which is proof of his goodness. Let me give examples. My Mom was in about 24 years {she was bad} My Dad, 2 years, 9 months {he was good} – my religious mentor, Rev Judy Swaggart, 2 yrs 11 months – Anna Nicole Smith 64 days – a record at that time! Errol Flynn 23 years {not good but better than Mom}- {The celebrities I helped are in my book ‘Theater of Justice – Celebrity Souls Appear’.} Elvis Presley was 5 years, Frank Sinatra, 4 years, Dean Marin, 8 years, Rudolph Nureyev, 9 years, George C. Scott, 4 years, Timothy McVeigh {Oklahoma City FBI headquarters bombing!} ONE YEAR! My first husband was the worst – 55 years, pure evil.

Now Marvin Gaye has been in 37 years. If he can get out & when, I don’t yet know.

I like to imagine he is not READY for the Holy Mass, but at some point, he will be & then I can help. I will forget him for the time being & if & when God tells me to act, I will. Meanwhile I continue doing Masses for all the Souls in general as well as daily prayers, & whoever God chooses, they apply to.

This ministry to Purgatory is SUPERNATURAL. One cannot willy nilly just reach anyone they please – there are untold trillions in that space, reaching them takes some kind of Power. Knowing which ones to help & sending them Grace is SUPERNATURAL. You get this ministry by caring & working at it, which of course, I have.

One more note: The dream portrays an evil con man trying to get something that is not his – stealing. And so, for a person to receive a boon which is not owned them is like stealing. Here, he tries, but the one administering the money / GRACE {an angel, Saint, or Jesus Christ himself} will not release him it. He is not identified or designated to receive this Grace. He desires it – that gives me hope it’s Purgatory, not Hell – because in Hell they DO NOT DESIRE GRACE.

One more question to Mother God. Why is it symbolized that my lawyer friend has this trust fund? What meaning is that?

MG: That has something to do with ‘the law’ or legally he cannot get this Grace, all about karma. Karma is order & justice, you reap what you sow, you cannot get what you don’t deserve you will not be punished outside of justice – there is order to everything in God’s world. The money is value, benefits or blessings. {End Chapter 9}

College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Marvin Gaye & Me Pt 2

MARVIN GAYE & ME Pt 2

2-2-22 The next day: DREAM / VISION – This was so uncomfortable – I had

forgotten Marvin’s statement he would reveal where he was to me in a

dream. I start dreaming like so:

I’m in a large room with a super-high ceiling. It’s about 25’ across & quite deep, the ceiling is maybe 20’. It has no windows & I have a frightening sensation there is no way out. So I saw Hell only once before & it is frightening, the other vision was way worse than this, I dread to think of it. But this seemed a ‘no escape’ place, a place of total limitation like that, so I was scared to be there.

In the middle of the room is a stack of boxes intermixed with papers, litter, nothing is organized, it is unkempt like a garbage dump or a room abandoned long ago, junk strewn everywhere, dust & debri, but it’s mostly boxes filled with things – some of them are dull pink - & papers everywhere of all hues, maybe white, light blue, nothing is bright or clean or neat, all is disorder.

I can’t wait to get out of here & I move out quickly, not knowing why am I here? God please don’t let this be my state.

MEANING: This is the spiritual state of Marvin Gaye – where he is now. Is it Hell or Purgatory?

I can’t tell off hand, but it’s one or the other. Hell is a place like this, but usually way worse, like so ugly you feel torture. This is not as bad as that but it could be Purgatory – I hope.

Purgatory is always a place of limitation, like you cannot see eternity or a huge limitless sky. When you see a sky there, it’s like the sky is limited, it somehow comes to an end, it’s an atmosphere that stops somewhere up there.

When I bilocated to Purgatory to see my Dad, he was in a cave, lying on a stone slab, no windows, limited, but he was not miserable. I was the only person who had reached / contacted him. The Grace of God lifted him up shortly after my visit.

When I first saw my husband, Stanley Everts, he was on a throne of flames like the LincolnMonument, his arms on the arm rests, in great torture, crying out – demanding that I helped so many – I should help him. Every time I started praying I would forget, & God told me because he was in ‘Hell.’

But what is Hell & what is Purgatory? The Catholic Church says there is no way out of Hell, like Dante’s ‘Divine Comedy,’ the sign prior to Hell says ‘Abandon Hope – all Ye Who Enter Here.’

However, over the years, his state improved. I saw it, but he still unjustly hated me for thirty years – & I said to God not to show me him any more.

Then, fifty five years after his death, I said to God OK, you can show me him again. That act was apparently charity, & through it, he rose up to Heaven that very day.

This is proof that a person in Purgatory can be in a Hellish state, but not Hell - & it makes me wonder, is Hell automatically forever, or is it just the lowest sufferings in Purgatory, which can last as long as ‘till the end of the world.’ Maria Simma says she ministered to Souls that had been there for HUNDREDS OF YEARS – some of them Popes!

The condition of this room I am in – which represents where Marvin is – reminds me of the rooms in the great movie:

“Winner of both the Academy Award for best foreign-language film and the Cannes Film Festival’s Palme d’Or, Marcel Camus’ Black Orpheus (Orfeu negro) brings the ancient Greek myth of Orpheus and Eurydice to the twentieth-century madness of Carnival in Rio de Janeiro.”

There is a scene in the movie where Orpheus is trying to find Eurydice, of a room that houses all the papers of MISSING PERSONS & there are MILLIONS, so many papers they are strewn from floor to ceiling, they even fall out & are blown here & there. It’s a feeling of ‘lost forever’ – no hope – This reminds me of that, only it’s filthy & ugly.

I’m going to assume this is Marvin’s Purgatory, that he can get out – in time – & especially if someone helps him, maybe me.

The lack of windows is lack of opportunity, lack of doors also, to get out – Lack of VISION. And what is vision? Vision is OUR STATE, wherever we are, either one which is closed down, shut up, no escape, like Hell, or a temporary state like that, but still, if someone helps, they can get out – if no one helps they might be there for hundreds of years or even the end of the world.

How can I explain vision or lack of it? Vision OPENS UP OUR SOUL to that which is GOOD & that which is ETERNAL, MEANINGFUL & JOYFUL. When I saw God Face to Face the second time, I looked at the horizon & instead of seeing the end of it, it opened up more & more to my vision, it was a miracle. This is INFINITY.

Consider when something wonderful has happened to you, like someone you love you discover loves you? Or you get an offer for the most perfect job on earth, or a book gets published by a large company you’ve been trying to sell for years, or you get your first starring role in a major movie, or you win the lottery or some great boon or blessing. You are then all fired up & the world seems BEAUTIFUL & you’re filled with hope, joy, inspiration, you think you can do anything – you’re so happy. That’s when the windows & doors to happiness have opened up, but the opposite, they are all closed down, no joy, no love, nothing to look forward to – a void, an emptiness – in Hell, even hate & other monstrous emotions prevail. {I feel no hate or other cruel emotions here & that confirms my sense this is Purgatory, not Hell. But of course, there are those in Purgatory being cleanse of such emotions, example, my husband Stanley.}

And so I am seeing the lack of joy & vision of Marvin’s state.

What are the boxes & papers? It reminded me as I said of the files of millions of ‘missing persons’ – in a place they will never be found. I will need help. Mother God, give me a hand on this.

MG {Mother God, NOT Marvin Gaye}: There is a dead space here, nothing alive, green, living, all deadness. Boxes are filled with such dead matter; dead papers are fallen here & there. No life whatsoever, no greenery, no fruit, no food no drink – nothing.

This indicates the inner state of Marvin when he died was devoid of spiritual life. But let’s hope he can be helped – say the Holy Mass for him today, we can only hope. Maybe the Gregorian Masses if we see a spark. I believe we will have results. Can the dead come to life? Let’s find out, sometimes no, sometimes yes. Indeed there are those who were comatose, even declared dead, who lived once again.

The boxes of huge bunches of papery trash & other papers are what? Some of the boxes dull pink, all kinds of dull colors. This is his life, going from woman to woman {pink} & hit to hit. Nothing touched his soul, it’s ‘just on paper’ like a marriage can be ‘just on paper’ meaning there’s no intimacy, it’s a dead marriage. Or a Priest is a Priest legally, ‘just on paper’ but his heart isn’t in it – he has not given himself to God, he’s just a shell of a Priest, or a minister like Marvin’s Dad, no life of Christ within him, he’s empty, he shows no love.

If & when a Soul is filled with Grace you see LIFE. When you saw Saint John Paul II in Heaven {the day he died!} you saw him as a boy in the woods & fields & hills, where he was happiest – a beautiful setting like the Elf Boy with a feather in his cap, wearing old-fashioned tights & soft pointed moccasins, in a Maxfield Parrish painting. This is nature, which is life. When you saw God Face to Face, both times, there were no buildings or people, it was SUPERATURAL NATURE with a great deal of WATER – First it was a ton a second of GUSHING WATER exploding from a Mountain – rushing down to a deep canyon as you looked from a balcony. There was snow – you touched it on the banister – you had physical sensations. This water represented the Grace of God exploding from the Source before your eyes & it went from a great height to a great depth – your soul OPENING UP TO GRACE, exploding into the Energy / Life / Presence of God.

The second time you entered a SUPERNATURAL WOODS OF ALL COLORS & when you cleared the woods, no beach, the INFINITE OCEAN OF GOLDEN LOVE opened up before you & You were It & It was You – It was God – You were God – You were ONE. You had REACHED GOD SAW God Face to Face, as She is, Her Infinite Nature.

Now the ABSENCE OF GOD is the opposite of all that. No nature, no life, limitation, a shut down, a death. This is where Marvin was & why he wanted to end it, because life was no longer in him & it was unbearable to live in such a state.

ME: When I got to his section & was gong to write about it, I stalled. I could not get to it for like two weeks, usually the most I get stuck is days, but I just couldn’t face his chapter. Is that because I sensed his awful state & was slow to face it? And now that I know where he is, can he be helped?

MG: It is likely you felt his state & I believe you can help him & after you say the Holy Mass you will know.

ME: OK – Channeling Marvin Gaye again. Do you look forward to my saying the Holy Mass for you?

MARVIN: Oh yes indeed, bring me the Grace of God, Her love & yours. I look forward to it. Thank you & Amen.

ME: Will do. Feel peace, I am with you – Nourishment coming soon, the Body & Blood of Our Blessed Lord & His Holy Mother. Over & out for now.

{end Amendment Chapter 9} End Chapter 9}

College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Marvin Gaye & I

Chapter 9 Marvin Gaye & I

written 2-1-22

I wish I could remember how I met him or what got me into his hotel room with the club below where he was performing.

There isn’t much to tell & I debated whether to even include him as nothing much happened. But then again, how many women met Marvin Gaye – one of the top stars of his time – & had him masturbate because of her, in front of her, in his room? That’s all there was.

Why I met him is I wanted to meet every back star that came into town. Yes, I started an affair with James Brown but he wasn’t treating me right, I was heartbroken & thought maybe there was another star like him I could succeed with. So by meeting them, I was trying them out {except nothing came of it as you’ll see.}

So I’m here in this room with him, he asks to have sex, I say no, then he says he’ll masturbate looking at me, I don’t object.

I was not nude nor did I show him any part of my body. He sat on the bed, I was in a chair across the room at a desk, just looking at him.

Then comes a knock at the door & a voice I recognize- one of the attendants of James Brown {not a fake or hanger on, a real person working} calls my name & says,

“Your boyfriend’s out there”

Meaning James Brown – can’t recall if he said his name but both Marvin & I knew it was him & both of us jumped to it, like he had to get ready for his show which would be witnessed by the Godfather of Soul, I had to skedaddle before James got insulted – maybe he’d want to see me! And I recall being embarrassed that James associate knew I was there with Marvin – he probably told him & James might think wrongly of me.

OK now what was Marvin like? I was only there with him like an hour but that’s enough to get a person’s vibes. He was not a happy camper it seemed to me, & lacked the ‘joy of living’. Was he depressed? Not sure, as I didn’t know his personality & what to compare his vibes to, like people are sometimes ‘up’ or ‘down’ & you have to know them to know the difference, but he was not vivacious, more ‘down’ than ‘upbeat’ in personality. One of the black guys told me,

‘Marvin is afraid of crowds,’

meaning the audience, a large crowd.

And I did see him perform when I went downstairs – a sprawling place, & his personality was laid back as he sang, with James brown front row center with his wife!

Later, many of us would go to this ‘soul food’ place after shows – I somehow knew James would be there, so I went, & popped myself at a table across from him & stared at him incessantly to show I was mad he was with another female {even though it was his wife so this was stupid}. He outsmarted me. He told his attendant to speak to me, for me to go home & he would call me, so I did, & of course he never called, just sucker punched me to get rid of the nuisance.

So back to Marvin because I was always curious about what happened between him & his Dad – why he got killed by him, & read this in Wikipedia. I think this might warrant some channeling:

Marvin Gaye April 2, 1939 – April 1, 1984) was an American singer and songwriter. He helped to shape the sound of Motown in the 1960s, first as an in-house session player and later as a solo artist with a string of hits, earning him the nicknames “Prince of Motown” and “Prince of Soul”.

Gaye’s Motown hits include “Ain’t That Peculiar“, “How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)“, and “I Heard It Through the Grapevine“

ME: From Wikipedia on his father – Marvin Gay Sr.:

April 1, 1984: At approximately 12:38 p.m. (PST), minutes after returning to his own bedroom, Gay Sr. came back to his son’s bedroom with the .38 pistol and shot him. The bullet penetrated Marvin’s vital organs, including his heart. Gay Sr. then walked forward and shot him a second time in the shoulder at point-blank range.

According to Gay’s sister, Jeanne, he was someone who never “spared the rod, he was very, very strict” in reference to the saying “spare the rod, spoil the child”. Gay also would question his children on Biblical passages, administering beatings if they answered wrong. All four of Gay’s children had problems with bed wetting, which led to more beatings.

Gay administered most of his harshest punishments on Marvin Jr. According to Marvin’s sister, Jeanne, from the age of seven well into his teenage years, Marvin’s life consisted of “brutal whippings” since Gay Sr. would strike him for any shortcoming, including putting his hair brush in the wrong place or coming home from school a minute late. Marvin would state later, “living with Father was like living with a king, an all-cruel, changeable, cruel and all-powerful king”. He further stated to David Ritz, “if it wasn’t for Mother, who was always there to console me and praise me for my singing, I think I would have been one of those child suicides you read about in the papers.” Alberta Gay later stated that her husband hated Marvin, {emphasis Rasa’s} as she told David Ritz in 1979:

My husband never wanted Marvin, and he never liked him. He used to say he didn’t think he was really his child. I told him that was nonsense. He knew Marvin was his. But for some reason, he didn’t love Marvin, and what’s worse, he didn’t want me to love Marvin either. Marvin wasn’t very old before he understood that. {Emphasis Rasa’s}

Rasa says: The singer gave his Dad the gun for Xmas!

On Christmas Day 1983 Marvin gave his father an unregistered .38 caliber Smith & Wesson pistol to protect him from intruders and murderers after the younger Gaye, heavily addicted to cocaine, felt someone was seriously plotting to kill him.

From the Wikipedia article – The Killing of Marvin Gaye:

On Christmas Day, 1983, Marvin gave his father a Smith & Wesson .38 Special pistol so that he could protect himself from intruders. Friends and family members contended that the younger Marvin was often suicidal and paranoid, and by now was afraid of leaving his room and spoke of little besides suicide and death. He sometimes wore three overcoats and put his shoes on the wrong feet.Four days before his death, according to his sister Jeanne, Gaye had tried to kill himself by jumping out of a speeding sports car, suffering only minor bruises.Jeanne contended that “there was no doubt Marvin wanted to die” and that he “couldn’t take any more.” {emphasis Rasa’s}

It is believed by Gaye’s siblings that his death was a “premeditated suicide“. Jeanne later said that upon forcing his father’s hand in the murder that he had “accomplished three things. He put himself out of his misery. He brought relief to Mother by finally getting her husband out of her life. And he punished Father, by making certain that the rest of his life would be miserable… my brother knew just what he was doing.”

Rasa says: It explains that they had a verbal & physical fight before the shooting – Marvin Jr. kicked his Dad many times, the Dad had said publicly that if any of his children ever laid hands on him, he’d kill them.

About the brother: Frankie ran to the house and carefully walked into the hallway to his brother’s room, not knowing if Marvin Sr. still had the gun, whether he was still in the room, or if his brother was dead. After walking into Gaye’s bedroom, an emotional Frankie held him as Gaye bled rapidly. Frankie alleges that Marvin, barely speaking above a whisper, told him, “I got what I wanted… I couldn’t do it myself, so I had him do it… it’s good, I ran my race, there’s no more left in me.”

I, Rasa, channel Marvin Gaye: {Channeling is mind reading. There is no effort on his part, only mine. I am gifted with this ability partly because I worked at it much of my life & I also it’s a Gift from the Holy Spirit. It’s like my Ministry to Purgatory. Yes, I worked at it hard for years, but God stepped in & gifted me with the ability to reach them & help. God often gives us gifts when we work hard to obtain them. I also struggled to become celibate for years then one day the Holy Virgin appeared to me & asked me to take the vow. God helps us when we work on something.}

ME: Marvin, what was wrong? According to this you had mental / emotional problems that were so deep you wanted to kill yourself. Was it all due to your Father?

MG {Marvin Gaye}: So I’m to be a chapter in your book? I’m glad I met you.

Yes, it was mostly – 99% due to my father. Like it said, all four of his kids wet the beds, but I was the target of his most harsh punishments. He hated me & he made me hate myself – made me feel unworthy. You understand abuse.

ME: Knowing your ad was so evil & crazy, why did you buy him the gun?

MG: During the last part of my life, I wanted to die, but I couldn’t kill myself, & as they explain, it was my way of having myself killed.

ME: Did you have nothing to live for? Did you not find your wife & children a reason to be? – Your career such a great success? Your Mom who loved you? What about God? How could you feel so low you wanted to die either by your own hand or someone else’s?

MG: No, all that was around me – career – the women who loved me, children, that was all outside. But inside I was empty, like a vacuum. I felt no love, only emptiness. The drugs kept me going for a while. But the drugs eventually weren’t working, as you know, people with mental problems, their depression & thoughts of suicide return after a while, drugs only mask the true feelings. Inside my Dad had already murdered me from a young age – psychologically – like your Mother did you.

But unlike myself, you forgave your Mother & even prayed for her not to go to Hell whereas I took revenge, I gave into the hate. I hated myself, then like the Wikipedia says, I let my Dad be the hand that killed me & his life would be tainted from then on. I also liberated Mom from him, the woman who kept me from killing myself as a child.

ME: I know from my wisdom of understanding God & spirituality, that what love of God is parallels love of Oneself. We & God are One, God is within us. In loving god we learn to love ourself. These items are INSEPERABLE. And so, you had the love in you extinguished & in its place was hate. As far as I know, you did not show your hate aggressively, it stayed internal. People who keep hate inside them become depressed. You were depressed.

MG: You got that all right. I was depressed from childhood, when my Dad hated me. I did not forgive him. I was angry at him. But I never expressed my anger until the very end, when I chose to forcefully fight with him & even kick him again & again, knowing it would invoke his insanity. It was my death blow to myself.

ME: OK so you were depressed because you held your anger in. I have a friend who is clinically depressed. I told her & her husband that’s its anger from childhood. She has to face that anger, release it and express it. But she isn’t doing that, so she has been her entire lifetime, on & off clinically depressed, seeing psychiatrists & taking all types of medication. She & her husband do not deal with it as I suggested, facing what was done to her by her Dad – it was abuse – which she has bottled up – & release her hate & anger against him. She will probably go to her grave in this condition. So that was your condition? How on earth did your talent & creativity flourish?

MG: They flourished by an automatic system, like your heart beating, your glands working. But then, when life got harder like getting kind of older, & the juices through my body were not running as fast, I was losing the blush of youth & life was harder, then it overwhelmed me. I couldn’t take it any more, just like the article says.

ME: Wow, do you have any advice for those in your condition? There are many.

MG: Listen to Rasa, don’t do as I did. Face your hatred, your anger, let it out. Face yourself, what is in you. Meditate, pray. The world & its glories will not save you. Look at me; I succeeded only to kill myself. ‘What profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul, for what will he exchange for his soul?’ I had the whole world but losing my soul, I was spiritually dead. I needed to work on my soul, to gain eternal life, love & happiness. I did not do that. I did not listen to the Words of God because my Dad represented God – as a minister – & God hated me, so it seemed. I did not understand God, even though Mom loved me, his hate was so strong, so cruel that he overrode Mom’s love.

I suppose since Mom saw what he was doing she should have left him & saved us kids from her. But instead, she got a job as a domestic to keep the family running. A mother should not allow a man to do this to her children, but she felt trapped. She did not have the strength to leave, she could have, but she didn’t. There’s a chance that could have saved me. So they were both guilty – he for being cruel, she for not leaving him, taking us away from him. Where there’s a will there’s a way – she could have done it.

ME: Were you angry then also at your Mom?

MG: Indeed, I could never admit that. But what I just said holds true. She did to me what your Dad did to you. Your Dad left you to your Mom knowing you were being abused, he didn’t save you or even interview you about it – no one of the elders helped you. But God helped you because you were strong & had a good upbringing as far as religion & you took religion to heart, following the path of Jesus Christ. So you were saved.

ME: What a sad testimony on your life. I mean what do all those songs mean when you had self hate, how could they bring comfort to your fans now? – If they know what you felt & went through. You were such a great artist, such a wonderful musician, & you were dead inside. It breaks my heart to think of it.

I will probably not know where you are unless it’s revealed to me. I notice that it is difficult for me to discern. Sometimes souls do appear to me to get help from Purgatory & I see them ascend. Very rarely – only twice – I have had visions of the living, God showing me they were destined for Hell – I could not help them. But I cannot tell where you are. I hope it’s in Heaven or if not yet there, Purgatory.

MG: I will reveal it to you in a dream tonight.

ME: Alright Marvin, over & out for now. {End channeling…End Chapter 9}

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