NOT TIME YET FOR HIM

3-14-21 Multiple Scenes-Lover Still Loves Me

I’m in my house but it melts into the old farmhouse appearance.  I’m dealing with things inside, then I go outdoors & a bit in front of it, maybe 40′ in front, behind a wire metal fence made of squares, & look back.  I think to myself that sometimes you have to look at your house from far away to see how it really looks, not the way you saw it subjectively.

*(GOING AWAY FROM THE HOUSE LOOKING BACK:  This is what you call ‘distance.’  When we live life we see it SUBJECTIVELY, from our own EMOTIONS, which at times can blind or obscure our VISION or UNDERSTANDING.  We sometimes need DISTANCE or TIME to look back at a situation, which I’m going now.

WIRE METAL FENCE:   In my vocabulary, METAL, in this case METAL INSIDE WIRE, represents THE WILL OF GOD.  I make the connection with the NAILS in the HANDS & FEET of Jesus on the Cross – it was God’s Holy Will He be there.  So here I ask the question, it seems about the relationship with the ex lover {because of the drams that follows}, WHY DID GOD WANT THIS?)*

The house is made of wood, painted blue, looks similar to the farmhouse with the main door we use to the back.  But somehow the front porch is on stilts that are about 8′ tall, a small porch, maybe 5′ square, with steps I guess leading up to it, though I don’t see them.  This shows me that the house is either on a hill or else raised on something maybe half a floor up.  Underneath this front area I at first thought was painted purple, maybe railroad logs, forming a sort of landing, & I think the colors, blue & purple together, are rather clashing, maybe too glamorous.  But on second thought I see that where I thought logs were are walls made of stone cemented together, a charming look, greys & off-whites.

*(THE WAY THE HOUSE LOOKS, MANY SYMBOLS LIKE SO:   PAINTED BLUE:  SADNESS, depression.  FRONT PORCH ON STILTS:  CROSS of CHRIST, raised up, terrible PAIN.  IT BEING 5′ SQUARE, square represents PERFECTION  {perfect square} so this suffering is total & complete.

HOUSE ON A HILL OR HALF A FLOOR UP:  The entire situation was a CALVARY {hill, Golgotha, Jesus CRUCIFIED}

In front I thought I saw a landing with RAILROAD LOGS PAINTED PURPLE holding it up, but then I see the ROCKS:   Again, the rr ties or logs represent the WOOD OF THE CROSS, painted PURPLE is LONG TIME SUFFERING {red is immediate, now, purple is passion dragging on, as blood turns purple or ‘black’ with time} – & I NOW SEE that what I thought like so is actually ROCKS – rocks represent A SOLID FOUNDATION, as the WILL OF GOD ordained the situation of hardship between myself & lover, God MEANT IT TO BE.  It’s a FOUNDATION of something SOLID – a relationship in the FUTURE it suggests.)*

As I’m hanging out in front of the house there are two interlopers who show up, one is a man, another is a strange Rottweiler.  When the unknown Rotty comes up to me, I’m not sure if he’s safe;  just then my own Rotty comes up to him to meet him & he’s OK, not aggressive.  The man asks me questions, not sure what any more.

*(THE MAN & HIS ROTTY:   This could be the ex-lover the following dream portrays, as he there asks me QUESTIONS, a DOG is an INNER SENSE, as the senses of a dog are superior to ours – their hearing & smelling.  This might be an INNER SENSE,  psychic or mystical, the inner senses are parallels to the outer, except they’re  hidden or secret.  And so, he sends his INNER SENSE to me to ‘feel me out’ or ‘get a sense’ of what has happened, why I’m not pursuing him.)*

There were many scenes, unfortunately, they have faded from memory as it was dreamed earlier in the night.  But I do recall the last ones, concerning my ex lover.

EX LOVER:   

I went some place public where people were hanging about.  My ex lover is there, & he comes close to me on purpose, in fact, he puts his head & neck right up to me where I can kiss it easily.  This shows he still loves me, after all this time.  I have ignored him one year, eight months.

He’s confused & now begins asking me questions.  He didn’t know what happened to me, & was told various stories.  One was I had gone off with a group of females to do some kind of activist work. Others I can’t recall.  He lays  these tales before me.  I tell him none of them is true.  We are close & holding one another, showing great affection, not sex, just hugging, kissing, caressing.  The feeling from him to me is ACCEPTANCE.

*(VARIOUS STORIES TOLD HIM:   This shows he’s been searching for the answers, why I’ve ignored him so long -

 {for heaven’s sake, he has my numbers, he refused to give me his.  We aren’t on any mutual social media.  When I was on face book we were friends, but after a while he blocked me & never allowed me on again.  He was used to me doing all kinds of detective work to find out how to reach him, like having other people friend him & contact him, & he was also spoiled by me going to the bars downtown every weekend {a huge effort for me each time}, then to my apt where he could go & access me & have sex – but that isn’t happening any more……So the decent, intelligent thing for him to do is call me, but he’s too paranoid & proud to do so – he thinks I’m still OBSESSED with him & will somehow intrude on his privacy {what a joke!} but I’m not.  He’s used to being CHASED by me but I’ve stopped.  I am FREE – this shows HE’S NOT.  His turn to be the PRISONER OF LOVE.})*

Then he lies down on the back of this vehicle, like a van, on his right side.  I go to him & begin kissing him again, but he says,

“Let me sleep, as tomorrow I go to school.”

*(LET ME SLEEP AS TOMORROW I GO TO SCHOOL:   To sleep is to be unconscious or UNAWARE {he’s asleep to the facts}.  He’s saying it’s not yet time for him to know the answers, he still has lessons to learn {GOING TO SCHOOL}, let him stay unaware until the time comes.

I might add that today is Sunday, yesterday was a weekend & so he may have been to the bars asking around, looking for me, discussing me with people, & so, I picked up his vibes.)*