Nick Regrets the Past – He wants to pose for me now but he hasn’t got a body
9-22-22 Nick Flips Back to Purgatory after Heaven – He can see now what a mistake he
made, he could have been part of a brilliant future
I don’t know how this happens but it seems, in the last few dreams {I did not record them} Nick has flipped back to a Purgatorial state after reaching Heaven. This doesn’t seem to make sense, as we are told ‘Heaven is Forever.’ But upon thinking, I have been on the other side, in Heaven, twice in my lifetime, but then came back to earth.
Is it therefore, by the same token, possible to see or enter Heaven temporarily after death, the flip back to Purgatory to continue one’s cleansing? By this dream it seems so.
First we are all in a house that is about 3 stories high, with a big picture window onto the street. The air is reddish, inside the house & outside. Our building is B’klyn, but unlike there, it’s made of all wood. There is a STORM, thunder & lightning & it gets WORSE – the entire building moves like an earthquake hit but the only person who is affected is Nick, who FALLS toward me, onto me. We wait for the earthquake to continue but it stops. End of that scene.
*** {NICK IS AFFECTED BY AN EARTHQUAKE, FALLS ONTO ME, RED AIR INSIDE & OUT, WOODEN BUILDING: The red air is SUFFERING {blood} everywhere – inside & out. The wooden building is SUFFERING – the Cross. The earthquake affects no one but Nick. This is saying the suffering is ABOUT NICK, not anyone else {there were maybe half a dozen people here, male & female, including me}. It is the SUFFERING that KILLED NICK – in other words, he took more drugs to try to stop his suffering, & when he took his final dose he FELL UPON ME, which means, he GOT CLOSER TO ME. Who is ME? It’s the GOD SELF. Like I said in Part 8 ‘He died to be with me.’ It was our conversation June 3rd that spelled his ‘doom’ – in his mind, I broke up with him when I told him my conditions. I had to be his front wife & he had to quit drugs. The false wife & drugs went together—she being the enabler, so basically, it was the drugs he could not quit. Life now became UNBEARABLE.} ***
Now I am with two other women. One of them is tall, lanky & very active. The other is shorter, more attractive. We’re starting some sort of lucrative business where we will take & sell images; it seems, mostly of men.
In real life none of this makes sense but just remember, it’s a dream, therefore, symbolic.
I recall being happy, active, looking forward to good things.
Then the specter of Nick appears, & it’s not a good omen. There’s something about him that is annoying & nerve-wracking
Now we are in a very large enclosure that might be hundreds of feet in all directions. In this place are many smaller ‘personal areas’ or stations of work.
My lady friends & I have our own station, which is bigger than most, it’s off to a side, has wide open spaces around it, bright light like the walls are all glass or just open to the sky.
*** {OUR BUSINESS, BRIGHT, OPEN WINDOWS OR SKY, LUCRATIVE – THE 3 WOMEN: I sense these 3 women are parts of me which I played in the ‘Theater of Life.’ The tall one might be the saintly ‘Stripper for God,’ the shorter one might be the body builder, because she reminds me of the weight lifting gal I just saw in “Time Crashers.’ Both of them are involved in picture taking of men, as both these aspects are my flesh when I became a ‘Cougar’ at the bequest of God.
These 3 getting together toward something lucrative could be my LIFE STORY which tells all the parts I played. The dreamer is the God Self.
The way our station / office / space is set up is ‘the sky is the limit’. The opportunities here are great.
My ‘body building’ self holds up 5k pictures, my God Self says she has 50k. This might refer to more than images of the males – it’s my whole life, I have so many images & each book contains numerous ones.} ***
I decide to go to Nick’s spot in this enclosure & it’s a bed. The mattress is about 4’ off the floor, its medium light grey, smooth, maybe firm. The headrest is the same, about 4’ tall & as wide as the bed, same material, color & about a 45 degree angle. The bed has junk on it – pieces & sort of rags from a thick knitted scarf from one’s neck made of dark blue & medium blue stripes. I have a stick & with it, I poke each piece or rag off his bed.
*** {HIS BED, THE PIECES OR RAGS: Need help Mother God.
MG: These are the things he doesn’t need, that were STRANGLING him, a noose around his neck of sorrow {blues}. You removed all the things that impeded him, according to this dream. Is this on earth or in Purgatory? On earth he didn’t listen to you, so it MUST BE Purgatory where your God Power, according to this, enables you to cleanse him.
And the catch-all under his torso that you pry open & look inside has several pairs of GLASSES, one of which looks like safety glasses. Later in the dream he’ll appear with ancient-looking glasses once again.
GLASSES are AIDS TO VISION. When impediments were removed from him, the things he didn’t need, his desires for them gone, he was able to SEE CLEARLY & now he is dealing with Truth. He was or blinded by his human flesh – the addiction mostly, & the fear of his peers.} ***
Then I go to the other side of the bed & see that as he was sitting there, there’s a catch-all section slightly below his torso, where if you flip it open you see all kinds of things fell in. I see several pairs of nice glasses, like eye protectors with no rims, modern, & lots of other things including pens. I need pens so I just requisition them – take them for myself. I then sit on the bed for a short time.
*** {WHERE AM I GOING IN THIS PLACE WHERE NICK IS? HIS BED – WHAT IS IT? WHAT ARE THE THINGS ON IT & IN IT? There’s a saying ‘you made your bed, now lie in it.” It’s what he did to himself past & present.} ***
After I did this my lanky lady partner comes bounding toward our office & Nick is with her, sort of hovering in the air, & he has decided he wants to POSE FOR PICTURES for our business. I didn’t want him, invite him & don’t know why he’s here, & why my associate let him.
So he appears & he is not appropriate at all for our pictures.
He’s wearing round black-rimmed glasses the kind that were popular in 1935, but they are even older like from medieval days if such a thing is possible, thick ornate black frames coming off the circles {Again, I saw an actor wearing glasses that were supposed to be from Medieval days in ‘Time Crashers}.
And he hovers in the air posing, with all his clothes on. I know that no one will buy these pictures, they only want men naked. I was going to tell him he has to take all his clothes off, but I don’t because I’m not even sure I want him posing any more. His hair is cut very short, he doesn’t look sexy or handsome. Does he still have what it takes?
*** {HE WANTS TO POSE FOR ME NOW, I’M NOT SURE ABOUT IT, HIS GLASSES, HIS APPEARANCE: OK this is me vs the lanky part of me, the Stripper for God. She brings him in, I’m not sure I want him. This is a conflict or dispute between my Spirit & flesh. My flesh wants him in my life story, my God Self isn’t sure if he belong here, lol. Will he help the project? According to this, if he is NAKED. Naked can represent several things. One, being open & vulnerable, ‘naked before the Lord.’ And second, his naked pictures might help my books, but only that.
His ANCIENT GLASSES are his looking WAY BACK to when we started. He regrets not giving in to me, posing for me again, letting me manage him as far as a model or whatever he wished for show business. Now he wants to be IN – but what do I want with him? Just tell the truth & show his naked pictures this says.} ***
I was speaking to my other lady partner & she had a lot of images sort of in her hands but in the air, very beautiful. I asked her how many images she had, & she said 5k. I told her I had 50k. This is talking about male models.
*** {MEANING: This is not easy to interpret. I know the general meaning, it’s Nick’s REGRET at forfeiting our relationship. But specifics are murky. However, below, is a parallel dream, which means the meaning is hidden in two theaters, & the second is more straightforward. If I understand the second I’ll also get the first.} ***
In another dream later I am sitting with Nick to my left at a table, in a large room that might be a restaurant, but there is nothing at our table.
He’s staring maybe whimsically ahead to his left, which is directly in front of me – he’s not said a word for a long time.
He’s wearing a charcoal grey twill jacket, the material is stiff & covers so much of him that I want to touch him but can hardly find a spot, only his wrist presents one.
I want to get him to speak but am afraid of annoying or disturbing him, I gently touch him a few times on his arm & wrist & say,
“Say something.”
He turns to me & he does speak, rather sadly. He asks me about myself, but darn if I can remember what he said.
*** {MEANING: Without a doubt, he is looking to the PAST with sad REGRET. There is nothing on our table meaning, we DO NOT have a RELATIONSHIP. He forfeited it for DRUGS & the PARTHNER / WIFE that enabled him. He is looking to the past with such great regret he can’t speak.
The charcoal grey twill jacket tells of DEPRESSION & LOSS. Charcoal is the part of the wood or coal, the carbon, that remains after the wood or coal is burned. It then burns even hotter, burning up means FAILURE & charcoal is TOTAL burning up, so its TOTAL failure. He now SEES HIS OWN FAILURE.
It’s he that failed, not me. I am not miserable or sorrowful but in this dream, I pity him.
The TABLE is where you usually receive FOOD / FRUITS / BENEFITS / JOYS of life. But there is nothing here – no relationship – & he looks at the past {to his left} with regret so great he can’t speak. I am not looking with regret at the PAST, I am looking AHEAD, not stuck back there with regret.
Why does he ask me something about MYSELF? The point is, he never did, except to try to figure out who I’d been with or what I’d done that might be sex or loving another guy. I ask Mother God, what does it mean that he asks something about me?
MG: In your affair all he cared about was HIMSELF. Totally SELF ABSORBED, SELFISH, no compassion, not caring about you. This shows a change for the better, that egomania has subsided. He now SEES as he LOOKS at the past without his emotional baggage – the drugs, the fears, the people he associated with. He sees Truth & for the first time, he ASKS ABOUT YOU.} ***
