MYSTICAL DREAMS

3-13-21 – HOMELESS GIRL – REUNION WITH LOVER

The homeless girl I used to see downtown on the ‘street of bars’ is here but what happens, I’m not sure.  She has the same little smile on her face she always did – I’ll call her ‘Lory.’

*(HOMELESS GIRL:   This represents a female in need of CHARITY – love, help.)*

I have not seen her in a dream for years.  Now some transaction occurs, she has her back to me & is saying to someone in an unkind way about me {she says it sort of secretly, turning toward me, speaks quietly but I hear her},

‘Then she shouldn’t be here.’

It was a reaction to MY COMPLAINING about something.  I had just given her a large donation, not in cash, but in some sort of beads I shall call ‘marbles.’  There’s two kinds, one are small brown beads, the other larger & all colors.  They represent value.  I see them being put on some kind of square, maybe a rock tile thingy, some of the beads are held in place by the grooves around the rock.

*(GAVE HER BEADS:   I guessed what this is about & because of that, I know BEADS represent PRAYERS, like the prayer beads of the rosary or the Hindu prayer beads.

I’m praying with my lady friend daily now for a month & a half, since she was diagnosed with cancer.  She needs the help.  No one else is helping her as much as I am.

TWO KINDS OF BEADS:   These are two kinds of prayers, those which I say extemporaneously – from my head – & those which I started reading from a book.)*

Because she turned against me, I tell her to give me the beads back.  She has to, & she does.

*(BETRAYED ME, GIVE THE BEADS BACK:   Somehow she said or did something that was less than respectful toward me, & I’m saying give back the prayers, which she has to.  It would be the value or grace of them, which is somehow revoked – this says I have the power to revoke prayers if she does not respect me properly.  Apparently I complained about something & she doesn’t think I have the right to do so, but I’m saying, if I don’t have the right to complain, you don’t have the right to my God Power.  This is a temporary revocation.)*     

Later on I forgive her or overlook her betrayal & continue helping or rewarding her, as she needs help.

Then I see my ex lover standing here by the wall – I saw him also yesterday but didn’t record the dream.  He still loves me & is kissing me.  But I am not sure of the identity of this lover, could it be a Soul in Purgatory?

Years ago I used to have strange mystical, ecstatic dreams.  This somehow reminds me of that.  I walked the streets picking up men, one night, then another & another, would take them to my secret room & make love to them, & it was ECSTASY.  I didn’t understand it but years later I did.  This was me looking for Souls in Purgatory & they were attracted to my beauty & sex appeal – like a man to a prostitute.  I would wear extremely sexy outfits – & the police didn’t bother me.  The beauty I portrayed was spiritual, not physical, the love I transmitted was spiritual, of God.  This experience was my ministry to them, not sure if it meant they ascended into Heaven thereby or were just helped.

So the last two days with this kissing my ex lover, I’m wondering, could this be the same thing, not the human lover but Souls?  It would be great to have those experiences again, I did in the earlier part of my celibacy, the first ten years, & I recall now I felt one of my requests was ratified:

“I want to have spiritual relationships with men.”

This was made during my SPIRITUAL BETROTHAL TO JESUS, Jan. 1978, where He told me to ask for three things {like the 3 wishes in fairy tales} & when I stated only spiritual issues, He said it was appropriate to ask for 3 things on this earth, I did, & this one request was a combination of spiritual & earthly, since I am of the earth – & the men would be men in Purgatory.  Not sure if it applied to any good men on earth, like my lawyer friend, or my husband Richard, when our relationships were platonic.

PS  The three rings were actual rings that were shot onto my fingers from above, they glowed in blue light, on the fore finger, the pinky & the betrothal or marriage finger on my left hand.  I had the lights out & could see them, & throughout the night I would go under the covers, & the light still glowed.  It was an ecstatic but painful night, I was crying from pain I had experienced on earth but also ecstasy from what God had done.  I might add that St. Catherine of Sienna received multiple rings from God, I vaguely recall 30.  I’m wondering if our knowledge of the events of the saints helps trigger our own mystical experiences.)*