Male & Female Models   4-9-22

 

         Above & below in the red dress is how I looked during the filming of these guys

Over the years I photographed many male & female models. This started in the mid 80’s, when I began to interview other performers & took photos – in the Times Square, NY area. Then I started my business, ‘World Video Marketing’ in 1987 & eventually produced many images & videos, which were featured in magazines like ‘Hustler Erotic Video’ & ‘Gent,’ & underground publications.

I changed gears in 2012, long after I quit the business, when I turned my attention exclusively to male models – just for fun – I never sold a single one – didn’t try. This hobby was part of obedience to God who told me to quit celibacy, go out & ‘have fun” or I would be “outside the Will of God.”

 

          I have anecdotes about males & females; many stayed in my house as I’m in the middle of a wilderness – & that’s where trouble starts.

          You see people at work, you don’t really know them. They arrive, do their thing – you usually have surface conversations – how are you? Fine. No problems are shared, no stories told, how can you make observations when people are on guard & putting on the ‘I am a good boy or girl’ act? They never take off their shoes or clothes or remove the ladies & gentlemen masks. You never see them under the same roof for a week end – that’s when the horse of another color comes out, good or bad.

          So here’s how it goes: Most of the persons who stayed with me for days or even a week, I have bad anecdotes from. Why is that? I don’t know, human nature I guess. The models & actors who arrived, worked, & left at the end of the day I have little or nothing bad to say about – because the opportunity for shyt didn’t occur.

          Now you have really strangers under the same roof with you & things come out that were not expected. For one thing, you & most models are at cross purposes, the classic employer, employee conflict. The models want as much money as they can get & do as little as possible. The employer wants as much work as she can get but not over pay. You both want the opposite.

          I don’t know how other photographers work, but I was a bit of a ‘slave driver.’ Because I worked so hard, I expected a lot. We would work – those who stayed more than one day – starting say 10 or 11 AM, for several hours. I always fed them or let them feed themselves from my food. Some of them cooked.

          Around 2 or 3 I’d ask the model to rest – go to the guest room, take a nap, rest 2 hours. I wanted them to look & feel fresh. Many of them would sleep while I worked. The producer, myself has to do everything. I made the sets, uploaded the images, if working outdoors I sometimes had to get equipment like ladders, reflectors, trim vegetation, lop branches from trees, clean up a background. Usually these people did not help – mostly because they didn’t know what to do.

          The male & female experience of course was way different. With the females my mind was on their beauty & making money from the videos. I had to coach them how to act – as we were dominant Goddesses – most of the ladies didn’t know how to act dominant. The ones I got local, none of them knew one iota how to act, wrestle, fight, or dominate men. They kept laughing, giggling, as it was so weird & embarrassing to them. It took a while to show them again & again how to be dominant, how to stand, tell off a guy, stop smiling & laughing, be neutral & tell him what to do. Or else be cruel & nasty. This is not normal behavior for women.

          Myself, by now I was so good at dominating – having started way different. As a child I was Shirley Temple or ‘Pollyanna’, as a young adult I was Debbie Reynolds as ‘Tammy.’ Then in show biz my personality was Marilyn Monroe, & wow, did I have to make a transition! But make it I did & one time, when demonstrating to a female how to dominate a guy wrestling he was so startled he said,

          “Wow, I never want to see you drunk!” 

          Some of my female model/porn stars had been abused as children, & so, they had PTSD. Now, as I said, if a person comes to work some place & leaves at the end of the day, you don’t see any symptoms. Put them under your roof & things happen.

          This beautiful female, dark haired & shapely had been abused as a 6 year old by her Mom’s boyfriends. She said her Mom ran ‘The boyfriend of the month club.’ When she complained to Mom, Mom got the guy, woke her up out of a sound sleep, & asked the guy did he abuse little Francine? Of course the creep said no & then Francine was super frightened.

          I did not put 2 + 2 together at the time, why she only dated much younger guys – she was 35 all her bf’s were like under 25. I didn’t have time to figure out the psychology of the models or the fetish men I supplied. My special ed teacher friend Ruth told me,

          “These people need a psychiatrist.”

          I answered,

          “I’m not here to figure out psychology, I’m just a movie producer.”

          Later I figured she felt safer with young guys because she was abused by older ones. But at the time, I was too busy to think this out.

          Anyway this female had two things going on that were bad. One, every single day she would have a fit & I had to shut down work for 2-3 hours. She would go off on the slightest thing – anything –at her young bf. He looked at her the wrong way, or didn’t show respect or this or that. She would rant, rave, vent, on & on. No work could be done.

          The other bad thing is she did a lot of sex but never used condoms – I saw her half a dozen times & each time she had either just had an abortion or was going to have one. This will work on a woman’s mind & I think it drove her crazy. Her only complaint was not ‘Why don’t I use condoms?’ but ‘These evil guys, they aren’t paying for the abortions, what scum they are.’

          The last time I saw her she went insane on me. All I said was,

          “Don’t you think you’d have better luck if you dated older men?”

          She started to scream so bad, so loud, I didn’t know what to do. It didn’t stop. I called a male friend of mine to try to calm her – it didn’t help. He said he’d never heard anything like it.

          It went on & on for hours. I told her to pack her things & I’d take her to the bus. Good bye forever. The entire ride she was still ranting, I said not a word.

 

          Same deal with another female – something was wrong with her Mom & they put her into foster care. There she was forced to give blow jobs to the Dad & other men. She eventually got on substances – booze & any drug she could get – on binges. When she was sober she was an angel but once the drink started if something ticked her off – she would drink whiskey right out of the bottle & fall flat on her face at the table. All work was stopped, I hid the bottle. She went crazy.

          I learned my lesson. If a substance abuser goes on a kick, let them go. You can’t take their drug away. Let them do what they want to do, say good bye & good luck.

          Later – weeks later – I spoke to her live in bf. He told me I should have called him to pick her up – she went on binges like that sporadically. When he’d try to drag her home, she’d be on the street screaming,

          “He’s trying to rape me – help! Help!”

          But I didn’t know all that then – this was the first time I dealt with a drug addict & had no clue what to do.

          She demanded her pay – I owed her $900 – I gave it to her.

          I called my neighbor to take her to the bus {I would give her $30}, a nice lady, she arrived, Tessie cursed her out – she would HITCH HIKE to the NEAREST BAR!

          Cursing & screaming she took her duds & ran into the road & disappeared. I called her bf in NY to see if she arrived – weeks went by. I made out a ‘missing persons’ report with the police.

          Finally, 3 weeks later – I was praying to speak to the bf – he never called me to let me know she had arrived – I knew he wouldn’t – let me just worry myself sick. But I prayed to catch him in so I could find out what was what, & I got him. He told me this:

          When she left me she hitch hiked to a bar & got drunker & drunker. She then went to a motel where she had a fight with the manager & threw money into his face. The guy called the cops, she cursed them out, they arrested her.

          When she got out she went to another bar, then another & another – got raped by a truck driver, as she was hitch hiking all over the place. She used up half her money on booze, the other half got stolen. She finally limped back to NYC, another binge concluded.

          But she didn’t turn into an angel right away.

          Next thing I know. The FBI is investigating me. She tells them I FORCED her to do illegal porno movies & it made her go crazy. The FBI shut down my mailing address in B’klyn – where I got my orders – luckily I had moved from there so it did not affect me.

          But I was scared shitless & the stress of it made me sick. What if they shut down my business? I’d be PENNILESS – I had no means of support but this! I began to have anxiety attacks, sick to my stomach daily – went to many doctors but they could not figure it out. I finally went to the Mayo Clinic & they said it was a hiatal hernia & indigestion.

          Then the FBI thought they would fool me & pretend to be distributors & asked me for samples of my videos {under a false name & address but I knew}. I sent them about a dozen. It was then they found out I was doing NOTHING ILLEGAL & dropped the case.

          But this did NOT happen except by the Grace of God & I called upon the Lord like so: 

These young gal pics are 1965, I was 20 – just starting out in Hollywood CA…Having done modeling, dancing, show biz young, I knew what I was doing – my career was a success.  But punk boys thought I was ‘back in the day’ & my expertise didn’t apply to them – they knew more than I & would make it their own way.  None of them succeeded & it’s been 5 years since I stopped messing with male models – enough time to prove themselves.  Only one guy did listen to me – Kenneth Guidroz.  I never met him but over a few times we spent 8 hours on the phone, mostly me explaining how things work.  He made it to the top – became a poster boy for Ralph Lauren, his ‘Red’ perfume line.  Of course, this was a smart guy, he did righteous things on his own as well as listening to me.  His rapt attention to me proved he was willing to learn.  One of the quips about youth is how it’s ‘wasted’ on the young.  You feel like ripping your hair out when they insist on their ignorance & walk down the wrong road to nothingness. 

          Along with my then 5 dogs I climbed the highest mountain near me – it’s named after Our Bl. Virgin – it took me 1.5 hours to reach the top. There I stopped on this field that a hunter brush hogged every year {means he plowed all the bushes & weeds down}, looked at the sky & began to pray in a loud voice. My dogs all stopped in their tracks & made no move, no sound as I prayed. They knew something was happening.

          I then, for 15 minutes, called on every maligned, mistreated victim of the law who ever lived, all political prisoners, all those who were framed, all those who were persecuted for the wrong reasons, all victims unfairly judged. I must have named 30 types of victims & I asked every last one of them – millions of them – to come to my rescue & get me out of this predicament & danger of losing all that I had {my business, house, bank account, everything.}

          It was days later I had a dream & saw an FBI man go into the office of his Chief & tell him he saw my videos & nothing was illegal, & the Chief said,

          “Then we’ll drop this unless there are any more complaints.”

          And the day after that, my sickness went away. It was one year of agony. Oh the revengefulness of people! And I did nothing to this girl except take the whiskey bottle away!

          There’s other anecdotes but I shall skip the girls now & turn to a guy to get my mind elsewhere. Not that there’s hope for the weary, it’s another dreadful case.

 

The Male Porno Star – Raul

 

That was the name he gave himself, although I don’t think he worked for any major outfit, not to my knowledge. Anyone who owns a camera can call himself a ‘porno star’ & he made hundreds of those.

Anyway, as explained elsewhere, in 2012 I got onto this model site on the internet – not knowing the ropes, not knowing half the guys were gay & made a living doing sex with men. And 40% of the other half were ‘gay for pay.’

When I was there there were no other women out of thousands of members, actively seeking male models & paying them. There were some women on board but you either worked for them for free or had to pay them. It’s amazing how valuable a vagina makes a person – A vagina & an ego.

So, like everyone else, I’m looking for the best looking guys with the biggest dicks. I’m trying to figure out how to handle this, & like all new ventures, it’s challenging & querulous. You learn by your mistakes. Here’s what I learned:

All the men who look for male models are gay, & 99% of them say ‘work for trade,’ which means for images. {The clickers make the same offer to women – it gets complicated. Many women take them up & then when the guys wants sex & they say no – no pictures. It happened to one model twice in a row.}

What I didn’t know is the big secret. They would work ‘for trade’ but get PAID FOR SEX.

And me, completely confused or should I say ignorant, offered money straight out & figured, like God said, I’m supposed to have fun, so if any of the guys wants to have sex they can ask me & I might do it. What could be simpler? Plenty.

What happened is we’re working, I might flirt a tiny bit or give a guy a kiss on the cheek, & he says,

“I have to get paid for that.”

Naturally, as a good looking woman {I have pics to prove how I looked—see my nude age 65 images}} I don’t expect guys to say that, so I’m hurt & figure I just got rejected. I can still recall the time a model said that to me, the pain I felt for a long time.

In retrospect I give myself this advice. I shall never go back there again, but some of you might. If you get in that position & want sex, give them the extra money. Make up some bullshyt like ‘I didn’t realize how good you were from the pics on the site – you’ll get more than I offered.” It’s only money, if you have it, spend it – don’t let your feelings get in the way.

Indeed my original intent was to HAVE FUN. But I’m also artistic & along the way learned photo shop & spent hundreds of hours perfecting the images. The creation of art was equally vital to copping sex.

And naturally, each case was different. One model wanted sex so much that I only got half my quota done. I learned my lesson on that. The see saw goes like: Lots of sex, less work. Lots of work, less sex. Which did I want? The sex has long been forgotten – only one time the guy was great in bed, the rest were not. But the pictures will live forever.

Like I said, some of the guys were gay or bi or gay for pay. Each case was different – be a wise girl & don’t get insulted or hurt, just do the work, if they want sex & you do – go for it. If you want sex, they want money increase their salary. If they want sex, you don’t? Not sure on that. That did happen a couple times; I procrastinated or just begged off. In fact one top model {a super handsome muscular Greek, looked like a statue} in the field was willing to drive 200 miles to have sex with me. He didn’t want to take pictures, just the sex! I can’t recall why I said no, maybe I was nervous. What if he was disappointed?

 

But I said all this to get to one story. I can’t give all the anecdotes in one day, let me just get to one whacko boy with an 11” dick – the porno star.

OK this guy looks wise was not perfect. But his dick was the biggest I had ever seen, & I had seen some big ones. He was for a model, attractive, but his skin was badly pock marked & had all kinds of scars – it ruined his beauty. I said to myself,

“I know how to get around a person’s faults. I’ll have him turn his face away or to the side, or have his upper body in a low light & feature his dick for most of the shots.” I just had to capture that dick!

His body I might add was also great.

So he shows up & we start to shoot. When it came to the ‘erotic’ shots, which means hardon, I got to suck on it. He didn’t mind & didn’t razz me about money or anything I figured, things will go well with him. Famous last words.

This first day he had brought grass with him & on the breaks was puffing away, so he was mellow. Maybe he had ecstasy or some other drug – I forget their names – they make you relax. He had asked me if he could bring his grass I said I’d rather he did not, but he brought it anyway, pretending it was there by mistake.

That night we started to have a ‘good time’ but his dick was so big we couldn’t get it in, no matter how much Vaseline I used, lol. I said to him my vagina seems to be ‘seized up’ like it won’t get loose maybe if he said sweet things, acted more romantic, it might help.

But he said,

“I can’t do that. I’m a porn star. My wife knows I’m a porn star & I have to fuck. That’s my job. But I can’t be romantic.”

So that ended that. I could suck on it for the pictures, but not get any romance out of this machine.

Here is something good that came out of using this guy. Up to this time I didn’t know how to use a feature of photo shop that corrects many mistakes. I forget what it’s called, but you can take a piece of flesh where it’s perfect, & clone it onto the spots that are imperfect, & you can make the face have no flaw whatsoever. I think that’s what it’s called – the CLONE TOOL. You can remove scars, acne, tattoos, dark under the eyes, moles – anything can be fixed & it’s not hard. I was now able to make his face beautiful.

Now I knew how to fix not only his face, but backgrounds. You can take a piece of anything & multiply it again & again, & clear out or fix or change the entire background. That came in handy many times, so he did me a favor by being flawed & forcing me to fix it.

OK the next day rolls around. I’m getting ready to take him to my apt/studio in town for different backgrounds. Can’t recall why we did nothing outside – maybe it was chilly or raining. I almost always took pics outside as I have exquisite backgrounds.

So now here’s the rub – he’s run out of grass or whatever made him mellow. And he gets a phone call from his wife & she might be pregnant, & last time she was pregnant she almost died or some shyt. So now he’s in a foul mood – I gave him his first day’s pay & he starts talking about more money.

I tell him we made a deal & that’s it – then he says he made no deal, he doesn’t know who was using his site. Sure – bullshyt.

His tone of voice gets more & more menacing & now he says the magic words,

“I have a temper.”

Now this guy is Latin & I know they use knives to stab people, & he’s like 25 years old, I’m a 65 year old woman in the wilderness with him. You think I feel safe now?

So I go upstairs & call the police. He knows something’s up, while I have them on the phone he comes up & stands near me by some excuse. I go quiet. The cop says is he there? I say yes. He says they’ll be over shortly.

And within about 20 mins two imposing officers arrive. We’ve met before – it’s a small town. They ask Raul what’s going on? He says,

“I’m a porn star & I told her I have to have more money.”

They say,

“We don’t care about that. We’re just here to insure this lady stays safe. Get your things & we’ll take you to the bus station.”

And so they did. The station was closed so he had to wait outside until morning. Served him right. Lucky for him it wasn’t winter, but it was like 50 degrees that night – he had a jacket.

He never even saw the pictures & how beautiful I made him. Half of them were in the classy GQ clothes I provided. No other photographer did him as much justice as I, made him look great. But most of these guys don’t appreciate anything, to be honest, just money, drugs & porn-style sex. They don’t have hearts.

So my warning to you if you become a lady photographer is get ready for the sort of mishaps I had – there were dozens more I shall explain. It might not be a smooth ride.   {End Chapter 10}