MY LOVER WANTS TO MARRY ME.
HE’S SICK WITH WORRY ABOUT OUR
BEING APART
4-6-20-HE BRINGS WEDDING DRESS-DESPERATE 4 MY LOVE
Interpreted for a friend.
I’m in my house upstairs, standing in one of the halls. To the right is the bath, to the left a large closet with no door, across the door is open to the guest room.
My good husband Richard did not sleep all night (I slept) but he still went out to work & he’s just returned. I see he has bought MY WEDDING DRESS & semi-secretly, he is putting it into the closet—I see half of it before he pushes it back to maybe hide it. I don’t think he sees me looking, he doesn’t look at me.
*(RICHARD MY GOOD HUSBAND: This is Hal, the man I love who loves me. When his disposition toward me is great he appears as Richard, because Richard was the best man I ever had.
SLEEP-DID NOT SLEEP ALL NIGHT: This indicates concern, worry; sleeplessness is when one’s MIND is not at rest. Notice I DID sleep – because I am not worried about Hal & myself, I know we’ll be together.
WEDDING DRESS, HE BOUGHT MY WD: This says he’s planning to be with me as man & wife. He’s thinking & doesn’t know I can read his mind so he doesn’t see me – but I see him.
CLOSET, THIS CLOSET: This particular closet has meaning. Look to details of each symbol. I asked myself ‘How is this closet different from the other ones?’ This is where I housed the clothing for my male models in preparation to photograph them. So this closet means PREPARATION, BEING READY TO FULFILL A ROLE, AN IMAGE. Into this closet Hal, now being the good husband, prepares to treat me like the wife that I am, to even present me to the world that way.)*
I am highly surprised at his buying my wedding dress. I see white net, with a row of beautiful artificial flowers embedded on it, the flowers like a big ‘corsage’ from the waist type deal down the skirt, some are bigger, then they get smaller in a row, all are white large petals completely open with stamens inside. I didn’t want to let him know that I saw the dress in case he wanted to keep it secret.
*(HOW THE DRESS LOOKS: White net is see-through, apparent or obvious—I have picked up his plans easily, he might be showing his intentions to others—in other words, his thoughts & plans ARE SHOWING. The
WHITE BLOSSOMS, FULLY OPEN, LIKE A CORSAGE: Are love, fully OPEN blossoms, petals, means his heart is open to this marriage.)*
I also felt sorry for him because he must be so tired, but he’s hanging in there, & I see him standing to the rest room door to the right, he seems shorter this moment as in real life he’s tall–& he has a small pot belly & a spare tire on his middle, he’s naked & there is a kind of soft light around him, soft yellow like sunshine.
*(SHORTER THAN IN REAL LIFE: He’s humbled himself.
POT BELLY & SPARE TIRE: Could be he’s being nourished by God/grace as I see
LIGHT AROUND HIM: For sure the Grace of God, he’s SEEING THE LIGHT, I see his spiritual awakening.)*
Oh yes, at one point I went to sneak-peak at the dress & it was not the same dress. It was a party dress, sort of Latin, in many bright colors, hugging the body, then flaring out with a grey ribbon across the flare. I hated the sleeves, like they buttoned midway between the wrist & elbow – for me that is tight & uncomfortable. I thought to myself
“This is not the dress I want. I don’t think I’ll wear it, it probably won’t fit me anyway.”
Did he buy this dress? I also thought it looked ordinary, even cheap; I’m surprised he would buy such a garment for me.
*(THE PARTY DRESS I DID NOT LIKE, WON’T WEAR: This is the relationship as it was before I stopped. All we did was sex. For him it was ‘releasing his love’ & getting mine & for a while, I felt it was the only thing I could do, but then I knew I could never be happy this way. This you could call ‘cheap’ in that the lover does nothing with effort or respect, does not present me to his people, presents a different woman on social media, while I’m the secret ‘play toy.’ No, I will not wear this dress means I will not PLAY THIS ROLE.
On the other hand, the white dress he put into the closet represents the purity of True Love, & being transparent (the net) to the public about it—
NET is also a symbol of ‘catching someone’ like a fish in a net—people are proud of ‘catching’ someone they love & showing them off.)*
Then in the room across, standing with his back to the front window, his front to the bed & me, is a person I scarcely recognize from long ago, who was my best friend for years. He misjudged me on something, accused me & broke up. He’s here now but hard to recognize, I keep saying,
“Joe, is it you? Joe, is it you?”
He doesn’t look like himself. His hair is like a sort of woman’s wig, very thick in front sticking out, thick in back, sticking out also, very grey, strange. And on the back of the hair is a pair of light blue cotton women’s panties, just sitting there hugging the hair like some sort of cap.
*(WHO IS JOE? Joe is the same man in the form of Rich, the good husband—I have never seen both of them in the same dream – Joe is another persona or aspect of Hal.
Joe represents here Hal knows he was MISTAKEN in breaking up with me—I did not do what he accused me of. This says he’s SORRY & WORRIED SICK over us being apart. The clues are:
THE THICK GREY HAIR:
Means worry, lots of it. Sticking out the front & the back is both sides of the brain, the primitive back brain & the temporal lobes in front, which is spiritual & intellectual & checks impulses or lower self. This is really worried, haha.
WOMEN’S UNDERWEAR, LIGHT BLUE COTTON PANTIES LIKE A CAP
: What he’s worried about, we’re not together, not intimate, not having sex. And furthermore, he is standing in:
THE GUEST ROOM: He is not standing in my bedroom – where he would be INTIMATE with me, he’s in the guest room, which means we are apart. That underscores the WORRY.
His face is hard to distinguish. It’s angular & vertical in its lines, & sort of ‘bleached out’ or his features all run together. His nose & head are thin, all his features thin & vertical.
{His face reminds me of this poor man I saw on TV who was wrongly accused of killing his wife & children, an ex-cop. He spent THIRTEEN YEARS in & out of jail, two trials, two appeals before he was exonerated—NOT GUILTY, thirteen years of torture. His uncle fought for him on the outside. The people investigating his case from the get-go botched the whole thing – there was a t shirt of the perpetrator right by the crime – they did not even send out to have his DNA checked on Codis—lied that they had done it with no results. Years went by with new lawyers pushing, it was finally checked, & there was the killer. I was rooting so hard for the poor cop.}
His hair is so strange that I say jokingly to a male friend also in the room, standing to my left,
“Hey, maybe you should get a hairdo like that.”
*(ANOTHER MALE FRIEND: Whenever there’s a random male friend near him, I assume it to be his Guardian Angel, who I’ve prayed to often for help. I’m joking with the Guardian Angel about how WORRIED Hal is. This pain he’s going through is salutary because pain is the ‘megaphone of God’ – ‘God whispers to us in our pleasures & shouts to us in our pain’ & also the cliché ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ & to top it off, ‘You never miss your water ‘till the well runs dry.’ And might I add ‘Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?’
FACE LIKE THE POOR COP WRONGLY ACCUSED: As I describe here this man suffered greatly a long time & the liberation he dubbed ‘a miracle.’ The face shows depression. Hal feels like that—he’s endured pain about me for a long time & longs to be set free. That’s what he’s experienced– if he felt the pain I have, given me by him, he’d be dead.)*
