Chapter 15   10-16-22 Dream predicts great financial success –

Importance of Nick in my Life Story

 

 

We are in a building like a large patio, a dim, soft, romantic twilight. The light is low, like lamps under our floor boards coming up & moonlight outside.

There is a gathering LIKE NO OTHER. It’s myself & about a dozen & more of the greatest brainy, most mentally, psychologically, metaphysically talented people in the world – they know EVERYTHING – I being one of them, lol.

The thing is, any of us who says something to inform the others–they ALREADY KNOW IT! It’s funny.

 

But I must admit, we each of us knows almost ‘everything’ but it isn’t 100%, it’s just MOST of everything, but put together, we cover just about all there is.

The group is all types, male & female, dressed differently. I see colorful & casual, someone in a rich medium blue shirt or blouse with a lot of material in the arms & the rest of it is full also. There’s a feeling of ‘all types’ like these people are not one faith, one POV, they are here because of their brain-abilities & no other reason, which chooses them across the board.

  Below from my You Tube videos 2008 – The videos are gone but luckily I saved about 75 images from them.  There were hundreds of videos & some accidentally erased all of them from my pc – a year’s work.  

 

*** {CIRCLE OF BRAINY PEOPLE – ALL TYPES – ONE WITH A VOLUMINOUS BLUE SHIRT – GATHERED IN A CIRCLE – DIM LIGHT: These are the characters NOT in my book but the characters THAT I AM in the context of my life story, & each of these characters represents an INTELLIGENCE & KNOWLEDGE that I gained from the experiences. Notably one persona sports a voluminous BLUE SHIRT, lots of MATERIAL especially in the arms. This is lots of BLUE material NOT I suspect blue as in ‘sexual’ but blue as in depressing, sad or sorrowful, the hard times I went through as described in my life.

Why is it a CIRCLE? This represents a POW WOW or a gathering of my FORCES – POWERS – MENTAL & SPIRITUAL FACULTIES, some of which are FORMIDABLE!

All these entities / personas come together in the BOOK/S of my LIFE STORY. Here we are in an enclave, it is not explained WHY but at the conclusion perhaps the last person to be described is the PUNCHLINE or the main reason for this & the other dreams.

The group is ECLECTIC in that there isn’t one type of persona here, there are different P’sOV – faiths – religions, as that’s who I am, I see things from many angles, not one faith, religion or zeitgeist.

The DIM LIGHT, like lights coming up from the cracks in the floorboards – like part of the floor on the sides has opening, a plan, then a blank, a plank, then a blank, & the light comes up from there softly….& Moonlight outside….This is the Light of the ‘Night’ or the non-daylight, which is the light of ‘the world.’ This is the light of DREAM & VISION INTERPRETATION – spiritual, metaphysical knowledge, occult knowledge. And through the opening in the floorboards implies ‘through the wood’ – the wood of the Cross. These abilities came to me through SUFFERING.} ***

 

I can’t contribute much because as soon as I begin to speak to tell them something, they already know it, lol.

We’re sitting in a circle & there is an opening in the room about 15’ wide, which you can dance in, with a solid floor.

A black lady {very dark} comes up to me from the circle & puts both her hands in mine, a sort of dancing embrace. She’s wearing a white pleated top such as the one I have, hundreds of pleats that come up & cover the neck – really classy, soft. I sense a gardenia or some sort of white flower by her waist or hair, like a corsage. As she embraces me she talks & because of what she says we dance & the step to the right, left foot meets, to the left, right foot meets, with a bounce, which I think is the POLKA, a happy dance. There is something WET coming from her, like from her side. And she says,

 

*** {VERY DARK BLACK LADY, SOMETHING WET, WHITE PLEATED SOFT TOP, WHITE GARDENIA IN HER HAIR OR A CORSAGE, EMBRACES ME FOR A DANCE:   This is one of my POWERS or FACULTIES from the circle – one of whom I am & when I think of how DARK she is the GODDESS KALI comes to mind.

This is a symbol that can be looked upon with various perspectives. One thing, BLACK is the UNKNOWN GOD. She is mysterious, what She does or does not do baffles us, who She is we don’t know. Is She Energy, a Person? That means blackness to us, not daylight, on a dark night we SEE NOTHING – we don’t UNDERSTAND – ‘I see the Light’ or ‘I don’t see the Light at the end of the tunnel – I don’t understand.’

The WETNESS that comes from her SIDE reminds me of Jesus when He was pierced with the Lance, & blood & WATER gushed from his side! This Divine Stigmata represents all is given from his Heart, the Center of his Love, his emotions. This lady then is like that, She & I are One at the conclusion of this revelation.

Being black like this is also CHARCOAL or having been ‘burned up’ & now the Phoenix rises from the ashes. So it’s a double image of death & resurrection. The stigmata is MARTYRDOM or giving all of oneself for God, one has given their LIFE but out of this sacrifice of physical life lost is the GUSHING WATER OF GRACE, the Fountain of Eternal Life, the Spiritual rises as the flesh subsides. So to sum up this perspective, this is my death & resurrection, I gave my all like Jesus, I died to self & I rose up again, I died but I am living., my lower self extinguished but my Higher Self is joyful!

I should add that this lady is joyful in her attitude, not sad or downcast, very lively – this is ME after all I’ve been through, engaging myself to dance the POLKA, the most joyful, lively dance, like Scrooge did after his transformation & return to love & life, when he joined his nephew & their party for Christmas.

The third big perspective is KALI.   She is the AVENGER, an emanation of DURGA, who protects the human race & destroys the demon Maharashtri – Patriarchy. She alone could do it, the Male Gods could not!

And so my life has been a series of projects difficult to manifest, but I pushed through by the Grace of God. ‘We go where priests & nuns fear to tread’ was our motto when I preached in front of the White House.

The demons of Patriarchy opposed me when I tried to institute female body building, but I succeeded.

The demons of the adult trade tried to demoralize me, but I succeeded in preaching for 14 years in the story ‘I Strip for God.’

There was every type of demon from Patriarchy opposed me, assaulted me, throughout my life – hundreds of them – whatever I did – And even tried to kill me many times by accidents or human assaults, but I was spared.

Furthermore, as Goddess KALI I lived to avenge myself, so to speak, against my enemies – not by nefarious schemes but simply by SUCCEEDING! They could not stop me, my motto at the Playboy club in 1978 was

“My success will be my revenge!”

And the demons of Patriarchy fell down in defeat when I got through.

 

Her OUTFIT: white soft many times pleated top that covers the neck: White is PURITY ‘The Pure in Heart Shall See God.”

PLEATS are REPETITION. This would say “the actions of her good heart were repeated many times, – like forgiveness. And covering the neck would be saying ‘a lot of’ as in ‘up to my neck’ or ‘up to my eyeballs’, so much of a thing. Again it is a repeat of actions of a GOOD HEART.

 

The GARDENIA as hair ornament or corsage:

The Gardenia is an EVERGREEN plant {evergreen represents eternal life, like a pine or Christmas tree} – always white – extremely aromatic, & being white reiterates the concept of pure in heart. I used to have a Gardenia plant in my bedroom as a child, which in winter I encased in plastic, & would put my face in it at times to get a big aromatherapy, not just the scent of the blossoms, but the entire plant. Therefore, this brings to mind relief from the pains of my youth when my family was abusing me.

This represents, then, an award or accolade for when I was abused, I reacted to it in the spiritual manner, not with hate or revenge, but trying to cope with it, forgiving my enemies. This is a mark of SUCCESS.

The dance is JOY – Joy at the success of my life & my life story!} ***

 

“I see huge sums of money coming in for you! Lots & lots of money!”

I see it in my minds eye, pouring in, & we are joyful over it, it’s a great triumph!

 

*** {MONEY – HUGE SUMS POURING IN: Is money here in the literal sense or meaning having great value? I think it’s BOTH, the reason being that I have channeled a dozen saints & even earth people, & each & every one of them, the first thing they emphasized was big money was coming to me from this. They did not mean value besides money, they meant money.

And when there is great SUCCESS, such as a movie/s, TV shows, big media, big money, there is tremendous attention & repercussions for good. God reminded me an example. Jesus Christ’s life story being magnified brought attention to his great deeds, miracles, healings as well as his teachings. His sufferings, sacrifices, all of that brought attention to Who He was, what He did, what He represented. It changed the world.

And so, when a person has magnification of their life, whatever they did is made BIG, a lot of people hear about it, it changes lives, their thoughts & feelings, their behavior. It changes the world in all sorts of ways. If their life has meaning & a lot to say, it has great INFLUENCE.

This DANCE shows you will have great JOY from the success of your life story.

The Goddess Kali is the spokeswoman or mouthpiece for all the parts of you that contributed to the production of your story.} ***

 

 

(2) The Blankets the animals get hold of – The Dandelion leaves I count out for Nick {old webman RIP} which are like MONEY – we go 50/50 on everything

 

Strange dream. I get a smallish box like a medicinal box I get over-the-counter meds in, & it’s filled with dandelion leaves, a stack.

 

*** (DANDY-LION: It took me a while to get this, but lionize is a symbol of someone who is well known for writing a book/s & they are LIONIZED means they are respected, admired, even adored for what they wrote. They are treated like a CELEBRITY, ACCLAIMED. And DANDY says what you wrote is dandy or great.

Dandelions are part of your diet which is healthy & totally free, you indulge in them constantly, even having them growing on your window sill. So it did not cost you anything to write your life story, remember your memories for others. It’s a GIFT from God, writing your story is a GIFT. And in a ‘medicinal’ box might say this has been therapy for you.} ***

 

Nick, my old web man who died of a heroin overdose is here, to my right.

Taking the stack out, I separate it into two neat piles & say to him,

“We go 50/50 on all that we do – you get half, I get half.”

I’m the leader & I’m being more than fair, as I could apportion more to myself than him but I am kind & generous.

The dandelion leaves are like MONEY. And this is a large amount.

And so, I begin to count the leaves, one by one by one. They are all small to medium, some have tiny soft thin stem clumps, which are special, I let him have the one that comes up.

This goes on & on & on as there are HUNDREDS of leaves. Some are tiny; it’s TEDIOUS to count hundreds of them!

Finally I give up & say,

“This is taking too long. We’ll have to get a SCALE & weigh this, you get half, I get half.

 

*** {DANDELION LEAVES, MANY, THE SAME AS MONEY—I SAY I’M GIVING NICK HALF OF IT ALL—COUNTING IS TIRESOME, WE WILL WEIGH IT & SPLIT IT ETC:   Wow, what amazing symbols. The LEAVES are the PAGES of my life story. So far there’s over a THOUSAND & more to come.

NICK is none other than my spiritual husband who on Aug 14, 2022, died of a drug overdose.

I’ll need help on this, Mother God. Is this saying that Nick is important in my life story? Perhaps the PRODUCERS of the movie/s will want to feature him strongly. What am I giving him half the credit for?

 

MG: My guess is that he, in his death or from the grave, will be an important part of your life story for the movie producers. They could start with the end of your life, being in love with him & he you, then his dramatic death, then a flashback of your entire life, ending with your relationship with him.

The reason this might be a choice for them is that in most stories a focal point is a relationship. Most great stories feature a relationship as a thread through the entire tale, it brings cohesion to it, a meaning or foundation. It’s hard to think of a great movie or book that does NOT feature a relationship as an ongoing thread.

Using Nick in this way is expedient, as he is dead & does not have to give his PERMISSION & he can’t SUE – using his persona is extremely convenient. Add to that the IMAGES you took of him – they are amazing, & again, they only have to pay you, not him. It simplifies everything for his character.

If he were living you would have to INVENT a persona that would represent him, you could not use his name, identity or exact story line without paying him – it could get complicated, & if you didn’t abide by the rules the producers could have a hefty lawsuit. His part would DIMINISH as if you told more & more details of his persona it would sound so much like him he could sue saying it is him, you’re using his identity without paying him, so he could sue. So to prevent a lawsuit his part might become tiny instead of big. But now he can’t sue, you can put as many details as you wish, lay out all the truth & you are SAFE. He died at a convenient time in a convenient way that makes for great drama.

You are not looking at this in a sentimental or maudlin way as you warned him repeatedly he would die young, you gave him a way out, he chose his destiny. So he gave you something in death, – you are acknowledging him for it here – in the last book, Part 8 – his Chapter had 78 pages – more than any other Chapter & there’s more to come.

 

ME: So the LEAVES I am splitting with him refers to not so much the book but the SCRIPT of the movie? He will have an important part? And even if his character does not take up 50% of the space, the fact that he & I had a deep relationship with our age gap makes him stand out as a main character?

MG: You are giving him importance, attention, respect. You put a great value on him & this value will be appreciated in your life story & it will come back to you as money.} ***

Then momentarily I see he took his half & there is a large skillet here, about a foot or more across, & he has put his large hamburger patty – about 5” across, on it, with two sides of vegetables, & I see bits of the dandelions sticking out from under the patty.

“Oh, you’re going to cook yours with the patty?”

I ask him, & he says yes.

 

*** {5” HAMBURGER PATTY – HE PUTS IT IN A SKILLET WITH VEGGIES, I SEE THE DANDELION LEAVES, BIT, STICKING OUT UNDE THE PATTY & ASK HIM IS HE COOKING HIS PART WITH HIS BURGER? I need help here, Mother God. He’s dead so he isn’t eating any food. What is he cooking with the value of the leaves under the burger with veggies on the side?

 

MG: The burger is him – his DEATH. His meat or flesh is dead. The patty is extra large. His life will become ‘larger than life’ by being a part of your story.

Getting ready to be cooked with things ‘on the side’ is his story. It will be PREPARED, ready for DIGESTION. It will be a source of NOURISHMENT for readers, they will learn from his example how NOT to be – it’s a sad tale, a story of his mistakes, forfeiting success & happiness for drugs, then death.

ME: Again I ask for clarity, Mother God. Why is he specifically here, being shown as so important I’m giving him half the value of my life story?

MG: Reread what I said with our first question. It’s about relationship.

Think, for example, of Jane Eyre or WutheringHeights.

Jane Eyre, the whole story is based on Rochester, but there are many ‘sides’ or items told.

The same with WutheringHeights. Heathcliff is the main interest although many other things happen.

So your tale could be told – at the end of your life you met the man you loved who loved you, then he dies suddenly before you can merge successfully, live together. It’s Gothic, it’s tragic.

You spent your whole life dating hundreds of males, which you describe, among other things, & finally, at age 66 you find him. The story gets dodgy – all the other guys were unsuitable. But the love of your life is PSYCHOTIC & he dies suddenly of an overdose – maybe suicide. This is DRAMA.

He did not, space wise, take up half your life, but the drama of what happened here is strong & can be used effectively. Eleven years on & off with him also is not a short time.} ***

 

(3) The blankets. Then I look down my yard & am upset to see the animals have somehow got hold of my valuable blankets. One of them is walking out of the barn, like a human, with a light blue blanket around her & then a precious rose red smaller one {very soft & special} around that. As she walks she drags the blanket into the ground, {it’s an animal in the shape of a human female} some mud, & other blankets were also commandeered by my animals, which I must make a stop to immediately before they destroy all of them beyond repair.

So I run down there with my assistant – a young male – & grab the blankets from the animals. Before I put them into the washing machine I see we have a ‘pool’ here of clear water, right on the ground in our yard, & I swish the blankets in this pool, which is like a sink, water running into it, then out. It’s a rocky terrain, not muddy, they come out clean.

There are other blankets also & I scurry up the hill in my yard to some common or public pools similar to mine. They are right by a path, & down this path I see several dreary men coming down, & the pools, which have various colored stones, shades of brown & grey, are not as clean as mine.

The dreary men look at me, it makes me uncomfortable, like their faces are clouded & veiled by their own skin & the pools are not clear, so I go back to my original pool which is perfect.

The thing is I had all these blankets & they are extremely valuable & they are for ME. I had set aside other things for the animals – they cannot have these blankets! So there must be order & right appropriation here. Animals don’t know any better, it’s my job to manage things.

 

*** {MEANING: This is about making sure the spirituality of your life story comes through that folks do not take it as a ‘thing of the flesh’ or animal instinct.

It is you wearing the ‘blankets’ which represent possibly SEX. {The RED ONE is the pain you endured}

You describe & explain many affairs, but again, it’s important to state that during the time you were ‘having fun’ it was God that sent you out to do that. There was a reason you aren’t exactly sure of yet.

The men by the murky public pool who have the veils over their faces – they are dreary – are the men or humans who cannot see ‘the other side of the veil’ or the spiritual content of things.

You do not want to portray your sex experiences in that ‘dirty,’ ‘unclean’ or non-spiritual fashion.

Your life is not ‘of the flesh,’ you are a woman of God, not living for the flesh alone, indeed you are made of clay but that clay is animated with the Spirit of God & you obey that Spirit.

Who is the young man helping you? A Guardian Angel? Or does it refer to Nick, that it’s important to stress the spirituality of you being together?} ***

{For Heaven & Nick channeling, see the Arnold dreams on the Rasa Von Werder-William blog}