Chapter 4   Rev Judy Swaggart

 

As you can see, or guess, I’ve given my characters theatrical names according to who they were to me. And so, to have a name like this means she was of God but flawed or tainted. Yes, she had a faith healing & ‘channeling’ Power. God gave her it, I wanted these Gifts, so I felt like this,

“OK, she is not without fault. But she has something I want. How do I get it? By being a loyal, devoted disciple, by supporting her, doing what she wants & needs, & then I’ll learn & grow.”

I felt that if I JUDGED her – that is, considered her UNWORTHY in some way, it was my human perception, not that of God, God had OVERLOOKED whatever was wrong & gave her Spiritual Gifts, & I had to do the same – or else I would be saying God was wrong!

Yes, by human standards, not only to me but others, Judy was OBNOXIOUS. Here are some of her faults I had to tolerate:

PETTY THIEF: {Stole items like tissue holders, silverware, from the diners she worked in. Stole towels from the motel we stayed at together in Vegas – told me ‘they expected people to do this.’ I was outraged as I was paying for that room, they would have blamed me. And later, as usual, she projected onto me her own sin, she made this strange statement,

“I think you have memory lapses. You pick up things like from restaurants & you forget you did it.”

What a bunch of crap! Reminds me when my Mom stole her boyfriend’s charge card & said I did it! {She tried to make me sign it – it was Steinbeck’s in Trenton, New Jersey – but I refused.} I was not with him with his pants down – you were, Mom!

So Judy’s other fault I would call her:

FALSE ACCUSER: Besides the petty thievery, she accused me of making her heart act up, putting some kind of curse on her {what nonsense, her heart was bad, always looking for someone to blame, I did nothing whatsoever to harm her. I never gave her any stress – she gave me stress.}

EGO MANIACAL: When we walked down the street together, she said the men trailing or stalking us by car were LOOKING AT HER because she emanated power, haha. She was a woman about 55, dumpy, five foot nothing. You know what I looked like when I was young, so need I say more?

Second, an example of her delusional ‘Queenhood’. She said again & again, she was the ‘Queen of Love’ – her heart was the Heart of Hearts, it was pure, golden, great. Now we are at a costume jewelry store & I must get baubles for my dancing act. I get some items that cost a pretty penny – like $100. She is GREEN WITH ENVY. To appease her, I MUST buy her a tiara for $100. because SHE IS THE QUEEN! She accepts this gift, any decent person would have told me to save my limited funds for what was needed.

GREEDIER THAN GREEDY: Woe is me. I let her know I had a PENSION {from the death of my husband, it amounted to about $325 a month} – enough to live on. I would help her build her church by producing a NEWSPAPER – which I would pay for – {called One World Light} & promote HER WORK. This would make me happy. I set to work writing & creating, she just sat around. All she had to do for the apt was collect rent from the tenants - she did nothing else but rarely worked as a waitress for some cash.

Within a short time – after publication of the first paper costing me $200 she decided THIS WAS NOT THE RIGHT WAY TO GO. What was the right way? What did God want? She said,

“The way you can best help our Church, is to go on the road & dance & send money to me. Oh & yes, let me keep your pension, let me cash the monthly check. You are young & if I was young, I would go out & dance & raise money for the Church. This is what God wants.”

I was downhearted. I wanted to quit show business to serve God, to get closer to God by a contemplative life. I did NOT enjoy being a sex object – nothing but that. The work on the stage, for a woman like me, was DEMORALIZING. It was another form of ABUSE. You show your body, men sneer at you, they hit on you, when you are alone, your life is in danger – it was many times. It is overall a DEPRESSING LIFE, not fun at all. Being with God, thinking of God, serving God, to me was FUN. For her to SEND ME ON THE ROAD, by myself, no protection, was unconscionable - I protested, she insisted. In the end, I did it with a heavy heart.

So Rev Swaggart & I were at cross purposes. My purpose was to serve God by serving her Church, learn & grow spiritually. Her purpose was to deprive me of my pension & get whatever else she could out of me, by sending me on the road. It was a money grab, that was all. She wanted money more than to build the Church – she never used one penny of it for that.

It didn’t end there. I was with her for six years. After two years I refused to fork over my pension. I reclaimed my daughter from her Grandma {husband’s Ma}, she & I moved in with my Dad in New York – I had expenses for daughter & Dad. But she made me pay for many other things, like example, I was permitted to call her long distance once a month. For this a donation of $100 was required for an hour of ‘receiving God’s Light’ from her. {Not a joke, she really did have the Light & did at least once get me off a curse Mr. America, Harold Poole, had put on me.}

Second, I had to pay for all her Vegas trips where she knew she would hit some type of jackpot, twice she channeled what the number would be, but in the end was one digit off. These trips I had to donate a few hundred bucks.

When we were together on one of my visits to L.A. we went to a restaurant {I don’t have to tell you I paid, she never paid one penny for me for anything} & on return to her car, it had a ticket. Who do you think had to pay the $40.? Me of course, it was somehow MY FAULT she got the ticket!

Oh, another to me, strange item. You think she’d share with me her food in the refrigerator? No indeed, I had to buy my own! And she, of course, helped herself to it.

Another item was the land. She bought some land in a desert area {it had a well she said} where we were some day to BUILD OUR CHURCH. So who had to pay the monthly payments for the land? Me of course. It was $160. a month. And who got the land when she died? Her sons naturally. {Understand that during the time of my service to her money was worth a lot more than it is today – in 1971, when we got started, by 2021 multiply 6.43 for each item & you know in today’s value .}

I also had to pay for her birthday bash. I ordered the cakes, the food, for fifteen of her friends & relatives & disciples. Not one of those friends or relatives contributed a dime. No one even offered.

That night proved a turning point for me to exit the next day. During a channeling session she was in a trance, & while there, she said her main goal in life was to secure her sons – Tommy & Timmy – all she cared about was them, the land she had purchased was for them. {One time I had just given her a donation, Tommy walked by, she said to him did he need any money?} No mention of the Church, just the sons, which reminded me of Monster Mom doing everything for my brother – all money for him, all privileges for him, I was just a slave.

A tidbit about her sons. Timmy was sweet & loved her, but Tommy resented her. When she preached to him he told her to ‘shut up.’ Why did he hate her? When he was a kid, she robbed him. He’d saved up all his nickels & dimes for a long time. And one day she needed some bread & took it. And because he hated her she was always trying to please him. – but it was too late.

The next day I packed up & called a cab. Rev. Judy tried to physically stop me from leaving by standing in my way. She had put on her silver body suit – which she used to try to sweat off fat – she looked ridiculous. She had a disciple sitting on her couch, was posturing in front of her, telling her she had to protect herself from my ‘bad vibes’ with her suit. That was ridiculous, I just left & checked into a motel.

That was the first time she put a DEATH CURSE on me. Why? Not because she loved me, because she wanted my money. A 19 year old black male stalked me, was planning to rape & kill me, but God foiled it. I knew Swaggart had done it when I called her after the fact, the sound of triumph was in her voice. I shall explain this incident later.

SHE WAS LAZY: OK, her heart was not good, she had had an attack. So she could not work as hard as before the attack – but she did nothing but watch TV, lying on the couch. I have had more than one heart attack, my heart is damaged, yet I do what I can – like yesterday I worked seven hours writing a long article, today I am doing this. I do lots of other work, whatever I can manage – she didn’t even try. All she did was lie there moaning & talking about her bad luck & all kinds negative shit. Yes, it wasn’t all bad, sometimes she channeled, – I awaited that eagerly.

SHE WAS A LIAR & DECEIVER: I suggested one time she might apply for welfare, the blew her stack. How dare I suggest a great woman like her would apply for welfare?

Another time I was at the airport & saw a beautiful necklace with a heart. It cost about $20 which would be $60 in today’s terms. I gave her the necklace.

Now I’m at her place – she’s lying on the couch watching TV as usual, & she sent me on an errand to her spare room. There I was to get an item out of a drawer.

I went to that drawer & found two things of interest that proved what a punk she was. One, there was a welfare application for which she was denied, & two, she had taken my heart necklace to a jeweler to have it appraised. It saddened me that they appraised it for less than I paid – you know how thy rip you off at airports. I did not say a word.

SHE LACKED DISCIPLINE: I exercised every day for 45 minutes, had weights. She got a machine. That fucking machine for the first time gave me cellulite. You remember those stupid jobs in the 70′s where you put your ass in a sling, & it vibrates? You had to rent them, that’s how she wasted money. She thought it would get some of her fat off. So for about a week I tried this & it did nothing for me but break up flesh to make cellulite. {I stopped & it eventually went away.}

The other thing she liked to do was eat. She could not control her appetite. When I bought her birthday cake she went to the fridge & tasted it before the party. When we were in Vegas she found a cheap buffet, ‘all you can eat,’ you know the rest. At five foot tall she weighed about 180. At 5’7″ I weighed 127. This came at a price, I was a fruitarian until Rev. Bitch talked me out of it.

I can’t think about her any more, must get my mind on something else. To be continued………………………….1-19-21