College of God & Love, Core Tenets

Dr FeelGood Treats Me

11-30-23-the Doctor-lines waiting

Explains new musician who’s chatting with me on the internet – an international celebrity.

He posts a video & it gets a million or more views within 2 weeks

For some reason it has to do with my breasts. Sense-image material has to be a friend who has to have a biopsy on her breast.

OK, so I go to this famous surgeon who looks like Gundry who I just saw on his commercial. Let’s call this man ‘Honey’ as he’s sweet. {lol}.

I need my breast, something, maybe done with it or maybe not? It’s like all up in the air.

Through part of the dream I see my breasts like ‘clay’ texture.

I do have something to do with the doc, then go away because he did some treatment to me & we have to have a checkup to see how it worked.

At one point, it has to do with weights. I have weights & am kind of high up above water, & a murky, muddy sort of stream that is emptying into the big water, like an ocean but it’s vague. I am on a banister & at one moment I want to throw one of my weights into that creek! Or both of them? – But feel it might do damage to some tiny creature in the water/mud. They are the ones I lift. I get the feeling overall not to use the 25 lbs for some of the exercises where I have to lift them above my body as I lie down – it’s hard. Maybe better if I use the 20 lbs. I seem to be mad at my weights & want to punish them. A man friend is with me.

Now, to go for my follow up visit. There’s a line so long that it takes hours to see him. I know this man who I’m right behind. He’s tall, above me, sweating so badly that the sweat from his face falls onto me again & again – I don’t like that.

I have to leave the line again & again for chores but I return, knowing always that I’m right behind this man.

The most recent time 2 people got ahead of me. I thrust them aside {slightly, nothing rude} & got in there telling them it was my place.

But now the father of the 2 persons who were there comes over & tries to assert his kids right to go ahead of me – I push them all aside, go inside the framed-in area {like an outdoor/indoor place, the walls are all glass} & not only do I get into my rightful place but I see there’s a clasp on the door & I close it.

Now I’m in front of Gundry, – he just stands straight, I am the same – as he did with everyone – I feel light hearted as I know all is well. I want to say,

“I feel like Miss America.”

He’s wearing dark clothes – so am I. He’s mild mannered.

He asks me something, I answer; I think it’s about how I feel. I feel fine & happy.

Then the phone rings {real life} about a bill – lol – & that’s the end.

Forgot one scene. I wanted to approach Gundry but it was not opportune. There on the right is about a hundred or more males of all types – younger, older, flamboyant like show business, some gay with bright blue colors, others conservative, all kinds. They’re waiting for him also & seem sad or worried about what was or is wrong with them – they had surgery & don’t know how it’ll turn out yet.

I tell my friend,

“He did surgery on all of these.”

It’s impressive.

MEANING:

*{ME: Mother God, what does it mean? I think it’s about the musician I’ve been talking to & don’t know what the outcome is. I think the ‘operation’ is speaking to me personally on the comments, PLUS his performance or how he teases, manipulates, entices an audience & people with his flirtatious behavior. People are affected emotionally including me. His ways are similar to how beautiful enticing women act when they sing or dance or in some cases, act in theater. So many people are affected & hoping to be in relationship with him –, both men & women, waiting inspecial areas & lines, lol.

MG: Of course it’s about him. He’s affected your emotions or heart, which is seen as ‘breasts,’ as they contain love.

ME: But the MEANING? What does it mean? The weights might be saying I’m tired of routine, discipline, like the things I must do daily. Tired of the burden, want to lighten it up.

MG: You’re considering what would happen if he does continue speaking to you & suggests some sort of intimacy. It’s easily done by internet.

It’s ‘up in the air’ like the condition of your breasts, you aren’t sure what is the right thing to do. You were praying.

But his ‘surgery’ on your feelings worked, you are livened up, feel emotionally lifted like the power of love. He gave you hope of love even though it might seem far fetched & some people wouldn’t believe it – because of the age difference & his present celebrity. etc.

ME: What about my ‘place in line’ & the two ‘kids’ I push out of line, their Dad protests but I prevail, etc. The man with the sweaty face whose water falls on me, to my chagrin. Somehow he affects my position negatively, maybe delays it.

MG: This is saying your place to relate to him is ASSURED or CERTAIN – you will get there, in spite of others who tried to be more important or ahead of you – the competition so to speak. You lock them out, lol. The sweaty man is someone who is extremely nervous about ‘Honey’ – he could be a businessman. He does get his turn, & then you.

The ‘surgery done on all those males waiting is the same surgery he did on you – emotional. They’re all sad & worried as they don’t know where it’ll go – IF anywhere. It seems NOT. You are talking to your friend amazed at how many people he has affected, especially men. You don’t see crowds of women like this, strangely, in the dream, but you see them googly eyed in the audience at his concerts. {end}

Had this dream failed to type it yesterday as I wanted to do other work {finished the 1^st editing of my new book on Purgatory – 337 pgs} 11-29-23

I go to see Elvis Presley.

This is him years after his summit, like he’s settled down, retired I guess. He’s chilling her with a wife & kids & I appear, wanting his attention.

I have a chimpanzee/gorilla type project. I want to catch these apes & make a recreation center, mostly for kids, & want his funding. Yes it’s weird as I think back.

This somehow passes & now he comes up to me & is paying attention. At first, he is neutral. But then I begin speaking about his relatives, dozens of them. {This is my ticket for him to take me seriously.} I try to remember names, don’t recall all of them. I stumble to recall. But I mention one female, like an Aunt, & he is so stimulated the blood appears in his face – he knows I’m FOR REAL, that I actually met his ancestors/relatives, had something to do with them, & I have produced a book, which I present him.

The book is my usual kind, with shiny pages & images, I see one where people are streaking from left to right – it’s in shiny beige, their skin, bodies. It’s his family. This proves my authenticity.

Elvis is no longer handsome. He’s overweight, the skin on his face is kind of pock marked. I remember when I was 10 years old he was the love of my life, but I don’t go there.

MEANING:

The gorilla/ape is the picture he first saw you with as your marker on You tube. It was a very weird pic you – chose it to get attention, as the last weird pic did nothing. This ape has hair standing out straight, like a grey mop, & wildly popped eyes & is talking about he did not sleep well, why do you ask?

So that’s the image you start with & he must have gone past that & checked your site as he calls you beautiful. This explains the gorilla issue.

But then you say something or something comes to his attention that impresses or stimulates him. Perhaps the mention of your 31^st book you’re working on!

OK you got his attention & it went from there. Apparently, he’s one of the few people who has LOOKED YOU UP after you got their notice. That shows why he’s so successful, he’s zealous, he reaches out, he’s active, not passive, doesn’t wait for fate, creates it. {end}.

College of God & Love, Core Tenets

Miracle of Salvation

11-26-23-Result of Prayers for Earl’s Unborn Son – He is now fully formed & entered into the Joy of the Lord

This is my blog wherein is posted my first encounter with Earl’s unborn son. Explains how I find him ‘in a black tube’ but he is aware & conscious! But no one has ever recognized his life until now!:

https://rasavonwerder-william.blogspot.com/2023/11/souls-helped-life-movie.html?zx=689434323514a181

Yesterday dreamed of the ‘son’ in a ‘tube’ that was an unformed or miscarried fetus that would have become a son for Earl – but he is in a type of Purgatory because he never received any recognition or love, since he wasn’t fully formed to be born. This mystified me but I cooperated with it & prayed love to him.

Last night I chanted ‘I love you, Earl’s son,’ many times & later chanted for Souls in Purgatory many, many times including Grace for him.

Saw a SNIPPET of a grown man kind of like ‘awakening’ from sleep, but he’s standing. He’s SWARTHY, much more so than Earl – has thick long dark wavy hair waving curling around his face, & a week’s worth of hair on his face, he’s got a sort of smile – he’s SATISFIED & HAPPY it seems, but I only see this for a few seconds, then gone. His skin is dark olive, again, more so than is Earl’s. He is not tall but average like Earl & STOCKY. {Earl is my height, around 5’6” now, & was once our regional wrestling champ. He’s a skilled handyman & has been doing farmer type work all his life.} This COULD BE his son I reckon.

{I prayed years later for another soul that was aborted as a fetus – my own son – & when he appeared, he was a fully grown, handsome & well developed man. I am not an abortion fan, this was rape. And he was a champion body builder, Irish, & his son looked like him. I named him Edmundo.}

Another dream, don’t know if it relates to this at all. An old friend of mine who I’d been speaking to for YEARS {20?} on the phone – never met – was a smoker. About 5 or more years ago I called him after some absence & he seemed to be dying of emphysema. It’s all he talked about. I had begged him to stop smoking for 20 years & he refused, now this. And out of charity I was going to call him weekly & said so, to break into his loneliness, & he INSISTED with much explanation, that he was NEVER LONELY.

This pissed me off so badly, I said to myself,

“Here I was going to call him out of charity once a week until he died – enduring boring conversation about his symptoms again & again, but he insists HE’S NEVER LONELY! So fuck’im, I’ll show him by NEVER CALLING”

& I didn’t – don’t know if he died or not.

So now I’m in a room with George Essex, the man I speak of. He is VERY SWARTHY, not at all like the real George, who had a classic ‘pretty boy’ actor face. This man has dark olive skin, grayish actually, darker than the ‘son of Earl’ pictured earlier. His head is shaved down where you can only see the new growth of hair, like a week-old stubble, even less. I am here just speaking to George about esoteric subjects like we used to do & we have an audience -

They are a couple. He is, strangely, in some kind of cubicle like a box where the extension of it is taller behind, shorter in front, a medium light grey bar across, & she is kind of taking care of him. I don’t see him physically, just know he’s there. Her I see clearly. She’s petite, thin. Her hair & head design wise is a group of triangles. Sausage curls, the shape of her head, all seem to be in triangle shape. She is listening & COLLECTING the statements George & I make because they are REVELATIONS. She’s organizing my teachings so to speak.

There is a manila cardboard folder there, & it contains research papers, the way I do, some white, some yellowy. She handles that folder & puts it somewhere. I feel SLIGHTLY invaded privacy wise but then again, I want others to benefit from what I know.

George is standing with his back to me, facing the man in the cubicle, while the triangle partner is to the right. I go behind George & jokingly pinch his head, holding gobs of his moveable flesh inside my fingers, the way I joke around with my Tomcat

who has huge fat cheeks & I squeeze them. And while doing this I say,

“George has GOOD TASTE”

& here according to our former conversation, you’d think I’d say something esoteric like architectural design, but instead, for a joke, I say,

“In WOMEN.”

I never see George’s face in this dream.

Then I am sort of lying around in front of George, & he takes my hand – from the back, & puts it NEXT TO his penis, which is large & hard as a rock. {There’s a sense that putting my hand directly ON it would be going too far, but NEXT to it he’s showing me a fact} I am rather startled, but this is a result of his ‘coming to life’ through my conversation!

I think about sex & sense that at this time it’s not for me, with George or anyone.

We discuss this – I say,

“Spiritual love & earthly love are two different things. Earthly love is desire.”

I do recall now I was admiring my legs in front of George as I reclined backward, holding them in the air. I was putting white cream all over them from the knees down & complaining I have gained a little weight & my ankles are larger than before {not so in real life, I have lost several pounds.}

Don’t recall what else but I was ‘showing off’ my body & nudity somewhat in the dream – this could account for George getting a hardon, lol.

So now I discuss sex because there’s no way I’m going to do it. I tell him,

“The Saints warn me that if I take up with any man at this time, they will leave me.”

And he UNDERSTANDS. He says,

“You can learn a lot from them”

This is not the typical response from a man, who will say & do anything for sex, & discount any denial of it. He accepts it calmly & rationally.

MEANING:

I was going to ignore these dreams but now I see they are important. But I’ll need help, Mother God. I surmise the second dream on George has to do with ‘son of Earl’.

BTW, something, in the middle of the night, impelled me to BAPTIZE him. I have a bottle of water next to my bed. I went through the right words, his Godfather is John the Beloved, his Godmother is St. Gertrude the Great, & his name is Earl Jr., Anthony for the middle. {You always have a Saint’s name for the baptism.}

I will need help on all the symbols including George. I have not dreamt of him in years, since we last spoke. Why him, & who is the man in the cubicle & the lady? It seems to me the man in cubicle might be his former state, as when he was in the tube in yesterday’s dream. He was not yet fully formed, so I don’t see him, because he has no substance or flesh. The lady ‘fan’ who is gathering my research might be his Guardian Angel? This would be her role as ‘record keeper’? In other words, now this person has been accepted into the Kingdom of God, the heavenly Realm. He is loved, he’s been baptized!

There’s something that disturb me however, Mother God. If this person was never formed he never sinned, in fact, only those who can reason can be guilty of sin, so how could he be in a Purgatorial state? I believe it but need it explained.

MG: There’s a lot of explaining to do here, but it’ll be worth it for people to learn

First, why is he George?

Because you ignored George, this soul was ignored. There’s a mystery here, it seems that one has to be loved, wanted, welcomed, accepted, to be brought to life fully. From this vestigial state it seems that no one even THINKS about such an early fetus –

yet unformed, perhaps a Fallopian tube conception, stuck there, no one imagines this as a PERSON.

You might say that many pregnancies are not wanted, no one loves them. But a woman who carries a child in her womb can’t help but have some recognition, acceptance & love for it – even if it’s a ‘Rosemary’s Baby’ situation. In the movie, after it’s born & she finds him, no matter how ugly he is {demonic} she has feelings for him as a mother.

OK, so he is the man in the cubicle, as you guessed, while he was still the unformed person & you surmise that’s why you can’t see him – correct. And the lady attending him is his Guardian Angel, correct. You are amazed that a fetus could already have a Guardian Angel? This dream proves it starts at conception. The triangles around her head beckon the idea ‘Trinity.’ And indeed she is keeping a RECORD of what has transpired that you have done.

Now George, having been ignored for years, is now recognized by you & this ‘brings him to life.’

Karmically, this is your payback to Earl for fixing your window, even though you probably will not tell him or his wife, but unconsciously, they will know. If you told him about it he might think you’re crazy, as he’s already said to someone about you, so let’s not tempt that.

Now he comes to life. His swarthiness, dark skin, reminds one of a person that is working class, like a blacksmith, farmer, truck driver, which is Earl, so he’s Earl Jr & his appearance, though not exactly like Earl tells the story of a hard worker, not a desk jockey.

When he looks at himself in the cubicle, here, you see his head is SHAVED. Because the sight of what he experienced is TRAUMATIC. Hair represents thoughts. Long, healthy hair, dark, is positive thoughts. Grey hair is worry, white is extreme worry. {He was so frightened his hair turned white!} But no hair, bald or shaved is to the point of INSANITY or absolute trauma. This was a

terrible condition Earl Jr. was in for YEARS! And you saved him! It seems like a MIRACLE.

Now you teasing him by squeezing, pinching gobs of his scalp flesh, saying he has good taste, then adding FOR WOMEN refers to a very human trait. You are acknowledging now that he is a FULL FLEDGED MAN capable of wanting women! This is a huge step from where he was, & you are joking to lighten the air.

And afterward, by showing you his erection, he is seconding that motion saying,

“Indeed, I am a living man, capable of desiring women. Here’s the proof, lol.”

There is some protocol here, as he’s not forward enough to put your hand ON it, only next to it, he is careful not to offend you.

Because you’re not a couple of lovers CONSENTING to any sex activity.

About the legs & cream: Here you are DEMONSTRATING, so to speak, your MYSTICAL ABILITY or POWER. Legs are MYSTICAL TRAVEL. It took a great deal of ability to connect with him in his state! Finding him, then doing what has to be done is another step. You found him through EARL’S MIND – without Earl even knowing you got that information.

What is the white cream? Some kind of Grace of Love, as it looks like say, cream cheese, & milk is love or kindness. The degree of your SPIRITUAL LOVE gives you the Power to do this sort of thing.

The discussion of human loves vs God’s love. Here you have both facets of life/living, spiritual & physical. They blend together, do they not? Earl Jr is now proud to be a man, enough to show you he has a healthy erection. And yet, it was through spiritual love not physical, that you helped him out of his forlorn, forgotten state into manhood, where, although he is spiritual energy, he has the form of a man! This shows how spirit & matter are two dimensions of the same thing – GOD’S BODY. The physical is not to be looked down upon, as something evil or nasty. Yes, it functions on a ‘lower’ level, but not an evil one. It is not demonic except for those who make it so. It is the natural body of God to be flesh- to be alive in the material world.

This dream, more than any you have had, underscores the validity of energy & matter, spirit & form. You discuss it with him. In God’s world, one wants what you wanted – to bring Love to a soul in need of it. In human terms, humans want very basic things of survival & procreation; True Love does at times enter into it.

By Earl fixing your window & not charging you, he gave & therefore earned Spiritual Love, & you produced it. Of course, it’s God. You summoned God, so to speak, God did the magic.

Now why was he in a Purgatorial state? This teaches us that there are more souls there than those who have fully lived – let us pray for them! The unformed conceptions, miscarriages & abortions, many could be waiting to be loved! Some do go straight to Heaven; it’s not a blanket fate for all.

What does the part about discussing sex mean? That you aren’t going to have it with him or any earthly man. He is not an earthly man, he is now in the Kingdom of God & where? Is he now in Heaven? The dream doesn’t really say. He might be. But if he was still in Purgatory, then spiritual sex or some act of love, such as a Sacred embrace or kiss or sex, could transmit him to Heaven – it has done so for many souls you helped.

I believe your Baptism transported him to the Heavenly realm, which could be why he is not troubled re sex, lol. It probably was easy for him to get there as you mentioned, he’s never sinned.

ME: I am flabbergasted. This proves to me that when I’m busy doing so many other things, I probably missed hundreds of dreams with great meaning. As now that I am focused on the Interior life, these dreams appear almost daily. Wow.}* {end}

College of God & Love, Core Tenets

Life Review Movie

11-24-23 The Movie

Strange dream that ended up with ONE CLUE that would be EASY TO MISS which if lost, would lose the meaning of the dream. It says ‘pay attention to details,’ the tiniest detail could be the key to the dream!

I recall the END of the dream better than its body. We are all, finally, invited to a movie. Huge audience, most seats filled. We were waiting outside in lines, all of us, wearing what seems to me the same type soft beige clothes, like the colors & texture of our clothing sort of all blends together.

Finally the theater is opened – Then another wait, again a large group of us. The movie has to END for the previous audience before they allow us in. I see a slight part of it through a window but it does not SPOIL the movie. It seems like a male & female possibly lying down embracing, she wearing pink like a v-cut outfit,

{like the chemise I have, orange/pink or salmon color which has those two v’s over the breast, then soft short pants, silky. All those images in the woods – beautiful – me, around age 50.}

Finally, after those 2 waits, we are told,

“OK, enter.”

Below, me dancing age 66 at club

Everyone wants a good seat, the better to see this movie we’re all eager to witness.

The seats are now empty, hundreds, they are all mostly that salmon – color with trim maybe silver, like Frank Lloyd Wright’s chair in his suite at the Plaza I just saw an image of {a bit plainer than that}.

I go through the right alley & quite a way to the front, maybe 6-8 rows from the front. Find a seat toward the left/middle. – One seat away from an older man, grey-white hair, tall, thin, not attractive. I wonder about him – will he think I’m trying to be friendly? Will he think I want him to speak to me? But he doesn’t mind me either way.

And to my left, right in the aisle seat, is a female, all alone like me I think,

“So I’m not the only woman who travels solo, there are others.

Here’s a feeling that women are for some strange reason, embarrassed to do anything alone. Like they must prove they have a mate or friends. So I don’t want to put this poor lady on the spot by asking her anything. Her appearance is thin, fairly young, brown hair, wearing charcoal grey & a salmon vest.

Now before the movie starts, another delay. When will these obstacles stop & we can finally see the movie? There is a line of both males & females, young people, about 20 of them, across the entire front of the stage & screen.

One of them gives a speech, & it’s about charity.

They are speaking of NUNS or a nun, who went places & did this or that work. And speech done, they hope for donations.

Not everyone wants to give, but I do.

I take out my purse, but it’s dark. I open it, it’s a change purse & has many dollars of change. I wonder if I should give a handful of it. But then my eyes light on a SILVER DOLLAR that I got somewhere for good luck.

When this young corpulent female comes up to my aisle, I proudly take out the silver dollar & hand it to her. {Forgot to say, the lady to my left put a light on my change purse for me so I could see.}

I hand it to the girl saying,

“Here is my good luck silver dollar for you.”

And she reiterates, showing it to the next aisle, saying like wise,

“Here is a lucky silver dollar this lady gave me.”

Then an unusual thing – For some reason I start checking under & around my seat & I find, of all things, some potatoes & grapes. The grapes are purple, they’re covered with dust mostly, some of them seem maybe spoiled. The potatoes are medium size, red skins, I hold a couple in my hands. The unusual thing about them is the roots. They are made of some kind of thin blue plasticky material, like half a dozen on one potato bottom I hold, fluttering.

As I think of it, when I was going to dismiss this as irrelevant, I suddenly see FILM in my eyes! And that means a lot! It’s about the movie of my life.

I show the grapes to the old man to my right & he kind of chuckles, but not in a humorous way, more like oh how awful, don’t want to eat that.

But I say to someone the potatoes are good. One can use them for food. This discovery of food seems to go with the ticket of seeing this movie.

And I see nothing more, that’s it. After all that time the movie is not shown in the dream.

MEANING:

*{ME: Here we are again, Mother God. It’s about the movie of my life. But what about it?

People are waiting, including me, there are obstacles & delays.

Finally we’re in the theater. Another delay, a line of people is speaking of charity, I give the silver dollar.

Then I find fruits around me on the floor including a potato whose roots are FILM like the film for a movie.

But what does it add up to?

MG: It seems there are two keys, your lucky silver dollar, which you give up to charity, & what seems like the result of your charity, the fruits of your life made into a film or films.

It’s kind of like God is saying to you,

“Before the movie of your life could be created, you had to fulfill a certain amount or kind of charity, symbolized by this silver dollar.

After you present it to the lady, you find the results. FRUITS are RESULTS as like,

“The fruits of my work, the fruits of my efforts, the fruit of my sufferings.”

The grapes are the sorrows/sadness/pains, like the ‘Grapes of Wrath.’ It’s mostly the evil people felt toward you & did to you – your Mom, first husband & others. They are covered with DUST like things of LONG AGO.

ME: Who is this old man to my right who is repulsed by the dusty, mostly inedible grapes?

MG: This might be your second husband, the great man who gave you so much love & security. He now sees the shyt you went through & it disgusts him.

{He looks like the unattractive, but good man at your local grocery store who is ugly but good inside. He married one of the younger, much more attractive female workers at the store & they have lived happily after. He’s a good symbol for Richard. He wasn’t much to look at, for you, but good hearted & of great benefit & you were much better looking than he.}

ME: I almost never dream of him, he usually represents my Beloved Nick. Why does he appear at the event of this movie?

MG: To show you he never understood your trials & pains, but finally he sees how awful your life was. But also fruitful, from the pain & the effort, your story emerged.

ME: The potatoes. Why potatoes?

MG: Underground, secret, unseen, unheard. Your movie is not so much how you looked, which is obvious & apparent. Everyone knows you were beautiful. But what’s the STORY to that?

It’s like Oliver Twist or one of those other Charles Dickens heroes that were poor, abused & downtrodden. They were cute & sweet, Little Lord Fauntleroys, but around them were hosts of characters which were anything but that. These people were hateful, selfish, cynical, self-serving, egotistical, con men & women – all that is BAD. Of course, some good souls here & there but not many. Richard Von Werder was one of the good ones.

The STORY is of NO VALUE without the characters & EVENTS of your life. How much can you say about a beautiful man or woman whose life had no drama? It’s the drama that makes the story – the unusual people, twists & turns, dangers, predicaments like ‘The Perils of Pauline.’

Let’s take ‘Great Expectations,’ a poor blacksmith apprentice in 1850’s England. Take away his mean stepmother & kindly stepfather, take away Miss Havisham, a weird eccentric, take away the convinct in the cemetery who secretly becomes Pip’s benefactor. Take away Jaggers, the tough, imperious lawyer. Make it the story of a poor boy who works hard, becomes a good blacksmith, marries the girl he loves & lives happily ever after. Story gone, no mystery, tragedy, excitement, flat as a table.

Now look at ‘Oliver Twist,’ riddled with criminals, a murderer, thieves, the head of which is Fagin, a sinister, ugly, dirty leader of poor boys & girls he teaches the craft. Take the uncaring workhouse master or ‘Beadle’ Mr. Bumble & his creepy wife – the sweet family/s that take Oliver in & save his life, take away Oliver’s going from job to job, house to house, being abused by lowlife’s. Make it the ordinary life of a poor boy who finally gets out & makes it, but take away the thieves, murderers, pitfalls & dangers & you have a bland tale.

To recap a bit, you had the hateful Mom & her sidekick brother. It’s her life’s obsession to destroy you, trying to convince everyone including you that you are ugly & worthless. Your first husband tries to murder you & leaves you & the child penniless by canceling his life insurance. You had the con artist ‘Putz NutOn’ controlling you, then the greedy Rev Verna Talbot who puts two death curses on you which almost come to pass. You got away from them both to meet rich & famous men, some of whom were blackards. You ‘Stripped for God,’ – the first women in history to do that,& you were the Progenitor of female body building, both projects fraught with adversity, controversy & accusations – even threats. At the end you become a Cougar with questionable young males that youth is wasted on. Your life was on cliff edge many times, with men & situations, saved by your Guardian Angels.

The lady to your left in the theater, alone, is one of your Guardian Angels who sheds Light on something for you. It’s about charity. It’s that your charity resulted in success, nothing more, nothing less. In other words, karma. If you had been bitter, angry, blocked God with negative thoughts & feelings, your success would not have come. But you kept your Faith, Hope & Love so here we are.

ME: The line of religious activists speaking of a nun. Is the nun me? Why a nun? Who are these people? Why is the lady who comes up my aisle to collect fat? What does the Silver Dollar itself represent? Why isn’t it a hundred dollar bill for instance?

MG: “Not everyone wants to give” is a telling remark you make. You are a GIVER, not a ‘taker.’ You don’t USE PEOPLE the way so common. And because you gave, more has been & will be given to you from God – karma is real. Those who won’t give but only take think they’re being smart. But it’s what we sacrifice that begets the greatest Grace & success. The parable of the Talents or the people the Lord gave money to. One of them buried it, with no return. The other two invested, gave it up, & returns came, so they got more. Those people you see in your life who abused & used you, what profit did they gain? Your Mom & brother are in a low place in Heaven, not great Saints. Putz NutOn, you saw 5 demons carry him to Hell. Rev. Verna served almost 3 years in Purgatory, a lot considering how she bragged she’d be a Light that shot up straight to Heaven when she died. Your cruel first husband, Stanley, spent the record 55 years in Purgatory, relying on your help to get him out, & you finally did.

These 20 or so people asking for charity are Celestials – maybe all Angels, maybe Saints, maybe a combo.

The fat lady? Reminds me ‘It’s not over ‘till the fat lady sings.’ Lol. This might be your patroness, St. Gertrude the Great, with whose help you gained the Interior Divine Stigmata. Why she’s fat? Usually the ones in Heaven are thin; those on earth are fat from attachment, but see how symbols change in the context of the dream.

Her girth goes with the ‘it’s not over’ idiom. What happens at the end of your life, its conclusion? It’s a Life Review. What did you give, who were you? What were you worth?

The SILVER DOLLAR is a symbol of LOVE. You gave the most important thing you have – Love, through it all. It’s not money, time or things, it’s Love that determines everything, whether one will hear ‘well done, good & faithful servant.’ If you maintain love through it all, you have accomplished the goal.

Calling you a ‘nun’ is to recognize your vocation as ‘servant of God’ like St. Gertrude was a nun, here she is at the conclusion of your life’s work.

And your Guardian Angel sheds light on what is important. It’s not the money; it’s the ‘LUCK’ of the Silver Dollar you give up. You give up your luck or Blessing or Gift. That was in the Divine Stigmata – you gave up your pleasure, bliss or peace with God & endured the shallows & wastes of human sense for eighteen years. Was this not a proof of Godly Love?

We don’t mention this Grace until now, when St. Gertrude shows up. Besides everything else, the most pivotal part of your life is the relationship with God, & here, this is the most telling, dramatic & revealing of all your life’s harrows. No one even knows or believes about it even though you told the story many times – the world responds to your former sex appeal, dancing, dating, meeting men, physical phenomena, not this.

The Guardian Angel reflects you, not herself. She’s dressed like you. The charcoal grey is the Cross & death, the salmon is the resurrection, – Phoenix rising or FISH as the Christian symbol. You died & rose again spiritually, as Christians do.

And being embarrassed to be alone is not the sense of an Angel but your human sense.

ME: The vague scene I see at the end, through the window, it seems I am in the embrace of someone. Does the movie end with Nick & me being together, even though he’s dead?

MG: It’s a happy ending, whatever it is. Could be Nick, could be you & God. You’re wearing that salmon color – symbol of Godly life, resurrection. It ends happily. That’s all you see of the movie, lol.}* {end}

College of God & Love, Core Tenets

Love, Sex & God

Love, Sex & God dreams

11-21-23 Spiritual Mate & I have 2 Domains

Or residences. I see us at an apt in town & it’s beautiful & comfortable. Forget details but we were there a while.

Then we came ‘home’ to my main house. We go through the acres grounds & they are luxurious, well kept, all mowed, flowers, trees, bushes, everything neat & beautiful & I say to him,

“It’s because of you,”

meaning that he does the landscape & mowing, which my late husband Rich was good at – & he does appear as Rich but I know it’s Nick.

Then we get to the front yard & it is rather unkempt – not mowed. Front yard has wild flowers & weeds all though it – the flowers aren’t blooming now as it’s Autumn, & nothing is mowed. It’s not as neat & groomed as the back, but it’s OK, this is my area or responsibility.

Another dream re Pablo: I see in front of me 4 books, 3 in a group atop one another, one separate, & their hardback binding is exactly like ‘Mystical City of God’ but they are not as thick.

I sense this is the story of Pablo & myself within my life. Indeed, I might have done some chapters on him in 3 of my ‘I Strip for God’ books & now, in recording all these dreams he’s in, it adds another. The separate one must be the book on Purgatory.

He appears as Pablo, which is when he’s EVIL as Pablo was the bf from Hell. But he’s changed & he loves me. We have several meetings & it’s all wonderful, warm.

MEANING:

*{For some reason, I’m thinking of my Soul Mate a lot. Could be listening/dancing to tangos {most romantic & sexy music} & also identifying with La Belle Otero in the last 2 days, channeling her.

He appears as the good husband Rich but also as the bad bf Pablo, but Pablo is reformed. What could this mean Mother God?

MG: This is a complete renewal of himself, possibly the evil that was in him is burned out as in the Purgatorial fires or pains. So he’s now with you whole & complete, a good guy.

ME: Why the two domains or residences? And why is the back of the yard, his responsibility which he keeps neat, while the front, my responsibility, is unkempt? Looks just like real life, lol.

And he is two characters, we have two domains.

MG: Two domains could be a sign that you are now united in a place where you should have been in the first place – your apt in town. But he ignored you for the most part, except to make love there. You were so lonely most of the time, had no visitors, just one night stands, which didn’t mean anything to you after a while as you only loved him. You used the other guys to make him jealous. {He did the same to you, you both ran a game where neither could win, you made each other miserable. It was his fault because he didn’t give you the attention or public recognition a real bf would give his female.}

That apt was empty of love, togetherness. But now this is healed. You are ‘there’ in cyberspace in an apt this is very beautiful & comfy. It’s happiness, it’s reunion.

And today? He’s happy in Heaven in your Union but you’re still on Earth, a lot of unrequited issues, things to write, things to do before death. He’s finished, resolved, neat & clean, everything in order.

ME: Why are my books compared to ‘MysticalCity of God,’ to me, possibly the greatest book/s ever written. How can mine compare to that?

MG: They do compare to that. Ven Mary of Agreda wrote the biography of Our Bl Lady. You wrote your biography & now you are writing on Purgatory. It is also mystical, your life is mystical – make no mistake. People of the world only look at your body, your physical activities, but you are eons more than that & you are explaining it. It needs explanation.

College of God & Love, Core Tenets

Great Minds Think Alike

William Bond, Pete Jackson, Rasa Von Werder discussion

Part II Who – What is God 11-16-23

from William: Yes it is impossible to understand Pete,

You have three options, God created the universe but who or what created God? The universe exploded out of nothing, (big bang). Or the universe had no beginning and has always existed. I don’t think we have the brains to make sense of this. William

Rasa says: Guys,

It seems the hang-up for us folks who live in time is the other dimension HAS NO TIME. In fact, John Mather of NASA said there was no beginning or BIG BANG. He said there is no MIDDLE from which galaxies move.

If we can BELIEVE without understanding there is no TIME for God, then we’re in Her reality.

There was no original creation like ‘God made this, God made that,’ or Big Bang like an explosion. That’s IMAGINING THERE IS TIME – a beginning & an end. She JUST IS. She expands, She evolves, She grows, She changes. She’s alive, She’s organic, lol. Rasa

From Pete: Well-said overall, Rasa. While I think PanENtheism is probably the closest thing to your vision of God, it is indeed probably best to avoid calling it by that or any other such “canned” words or phrases that already exist, as your vision defies all such categories thus far. No one word really does it justice IMHO.

Rasa says: I know we all look to our ‘frames of reference’ when we hear something new. Like what is this all about? Let me check my memory, see what it compares to. And so we pop up with, ‘Oh, yes, it’s like this – or that.’

Indeed, that pan thing does have similarity so I do understand why you said it. I will continue to study & point out the differences as I write our doctrine.

{I might add that without frames of reference, or connecting with one concept at a time, it might be impossible to learn. Example: Talk to a 6 year old about physics & they will hear every word but not comprehend. Talk to that child about their daily food & they will. I speak to people about Purgatory & they look at me blankly, then look away or change the subject. They cannot comprehend. Understanding happens for us through STEPS, this leading to that, that connecting to this, etc.}

William Bond says: Hi Rasa

I know some mystics and scientists have said that time in an illusion, but I personally cannot imagine a world without time.

I think it makes sense that God doesn’t have morals, an entity that loves unconditionally doesn’t need morals of any kind. The only reason why we need morals, customs, laws and rules to guide us is because we have desires like hatred and fear and want to hurt and deceive others. A truly loving person would have no desire to hurt, harm or deceive anyone else and therefore needs no morals or laws.

As for life and death. We see death as something terrible but from the viewpoint of the spirit world they see death as a release from a body that gives us pain and suffering. So they would see death as a good thing.

I agree that God didn’t create religions. Different religions reflect the different ways people have seen God. Yes we are all One and therefore we are all the body of God. William

Rasa says: Hi William, Pete,

Here is the most difficult thing for me to solve according to my Christian religion or most other religions:

The BRUTALITY of predators who MUST hunt, terrorize, terrify, & KILL victims in order to live. We humans are part of that, a terrible part of that – worse than any other animal.

And this is not CRIME like that of murderers & serial killers, this is NATURE/natural, condoned by God, God is part of it if God is inside all life, all life is part of God’s body.

It behooves me now to RETHINK my religion:

That such acts which come out of INSTINCT, not the demonic, are right & natural for some reason although it is beyond my understanding. I must now believe that ‘perfect peace’ every moment is not permitted or allowed wholesale on our plane – it belongs only to the Other Side, Heaven or next dimension. As part of God’s perfect love, creatures, – all predators – must KILL in order to love their children, to feed & sustain their lives.

I must believe that God not only wants this but is a part of it, as all Creation, physical & spiritual, is the BODY of God, God is doing it.

Again I add God is not part of demonic murder, crime, unnecessary cruelty, not even the tiniest cruelty like thinking evil of others– that is wrong. I make a big distinction between those two factors – the natural & the demonic.

Here I might add that animals, the predators, do not THINK evil of any being when they hunt them – they have not the significant frontal lobes by which to think. They go only by instinct & they MUST hunt in order to live & propagate their species. Rasa

William says: Hi Rasa,

This is how I see the whole issue of life and death.

I think that the spirit world sees death differently than what we do in the material world. I am remember some years ago hearing about a woman who had a Near Death Experience. She died on a operation table but the surgeons brought her back to life. But while she was dead she went through the tunnel and met some of her dead relationship and experienced a beautiful world of love and harmony. So when the surgeons tried to bring her body back to life she didn’t want to return. But in the end she agreed to come back to look after her children.

This then is the problem, she is not alone in this, many people who have had NDEs tell us that life in the spirit world is far better than living on this planet. So for people to live out their lives in our world we have to have no memory of the spirit world and a fear of death. Because if we did remember where we came from and didn’t have a fear of death. most of us wouldn’t stay living here. I can remember reading about mystics calling death a “blessed release”. So our horror and fear of death is not real. It is just an means of getting us to live out our our life on Earth.

I know myself I have a horror of death and suffering and one of the reasons I’m vegan is that I don’t want to eat the bodies of dead animals and I would hate to kill an animal. But I also think animals are more aware of the spirit world than what we are and have a far less fear of death than what we do. So as mystics tell us, our real selves are not our bodies. We are all spiritual beings that choose to live in material bodies for awhile.

I think the reason why we choose to live in material bodies is because we can experience things living in a body we wouldn’t experience in the spirit world. William

Rasa says:

William & Pete, I have seen numerous {50-100?} NDE podcasts, mostly from ‘Next Level Soul’ from Alex Ferrari. Some of them are incredible. Most of these people say there IS NO TIME in the next dimension. And they feel BLISS & don’t want to return but there’s things on earth that make them – like children.

There has to be a reason for living here, from what I understand this is a place of LEARNING & we learn through moreso pain than joy {explain that} so indeed, it is ‘the valley of tears’ – ‘the valley of the shadow of death.’

I have spoken again & again of my dilemma with the predator. Can either of you shed light on this? I can’t, I just must accept it as a part of God’s plan, that it is righteous.

Suffering is a great part of this life & it’s TERRIBLE. Mine is small compared to others yet I feel it to the max. It is the thing we hate the most but apparently gives us the most CREDIT in terms of Grace, if we bear it well.

What do you friends think about suffering? Jesus has been the prime example of suffering for salvation: Giving up this life in order to find it – Eternal Joy. I think it’s a lesson in LOVE.

God is saying: Do you love me {Eternal Life} enough to be willing to sacrifice & even give up the temporal body? – A hard lesson to learn.

About suffering: The issue is not the Jesus version of suffering which I well understand. It is the suffering caused by the natural order of God causing predation, which NOT A SIN. I understand the sin aspect & the self sacrificing aspect & the aspect of proving one’s love. It is the predator must terrify & kill in order to survive aspect I want to address. This is the suffering of the victims, which is also God. God is predator & victim in this POV.

Why not have all life as vegetarians? Rasa

From William: Hi Rasa

I don’t like predators either, but it does seem that pain and suffering is part of the material world. What I think about this, is that we seem to be attracted to suffering and drama. If an author was to write a book about a perfect world where everyone was loving, caring and lived in harmony with each other. No one would want to read a book like that, but write a book about a sadistic serial killer and it will probably be a best seller. So we give ourselves away by what we find is interesting and entertaining.

This to me suggests we come from a perfect world of love and harmony and we have found such a world boring. So we are attracted to this world, because we can experience pain, suffering and drama. Then when we die and we return to the spirit world and we can appreciate the perfect world of love and harmony. Until we get bored with it, so we have to come to a world like this again to know what it’s like to experience a world of pain and suffering once again.

We also get to experience things like self-sacrifice, to love others in difficult conditions and for men, to be a hero. We can only experience these things living in a vulnerable body that can experience pain. Women will voluntary go and become nurses and care workers and care for people who are in pain and are suffering. While men will do daft things like climb mountains, drive fast cars or fight in wars. So it does suggest that we come to this planet to experience the drama of life. William

From Rasa:

This is an unusual letter but doesn’t answer my question. I need to think about this, what you said. You raise different issues. I also want to pursue the issue I raised.

My issue is not from OUR POV, which you address, but FROM GOD’S POV. See the difference? Rasa

Pete says: Good evening, Rasa and William.

To answer your question, my thoughts on (human) suffering are largely similar to William’s overall I think. I tend to think of suffering as the “teacher of last resort” for the most part. As for the related corollary question that often comes up, is suffering good for the soul, I would say that cannot be answered as a simple yes or no, but rather it is very nuanced and complicated I think.

But the far more relevant question here, i.e. why suffering exists in the animal kingdom, such as via predation? That is a question that I believe only God really knows the answer to. I find it very hard to wrap my mind around. Perhaps, like some philosophers have noted in the past, there must for some reason that is not quite fully understood, be a perpetual balance between joy and suffering on Earth, at least in the long run. For humans that makes sense. But how that would apply to nonhuman life remains unclear IMHO.

I have no further answers beyond that at this time. Definitely something to think about.

Rasa, you now have the floor. Thank you, Pete

Rasa says:

Pete, you did note my actual question, which William did not. Not discussing human suffering via development of the soul, sacrifice, penance, gaining Grace – none of that. That, like I said, I understand.

It’s the predation/victim issue I’m trying to fathom. God is in it. Why, God?

The only thing I have this moment is yesterday I went by my creek & spent an hour & had a couple bags with me by which I wanted to pick flat rocks to put around my animal feeding station - to avoid some of the mud when it rains. I also had my favorite cup for coffee I’ve been drinking out of for 40 years. It’s so thick it weighs at least a pound & has a wonderful Xmas picture on it done by Norman Rockwell.

I was shy about taking this precious cup down by the creek but I did & when I put a rock into my bag – the cup was in it. So far so good. But then I put the bag down & it landed against another rock & I heard a SNAP. Quickly searched my cup & it was alright!

‘Can’t break that thick cup’

I thought.

Then today as I drank my coffee, looked at the back of the cup & saw that it had a crack! It does NOT leak, as solid as before, but a visible crack, very thin. {spoke too soon, next day the crack is slightly leaking}

And God my Inner Self spoke to me through the crack,

“All life has to die for other life to be born. It has to be sacrificed, go back to the dust.”

OK God, I thought. But why does it have to be violent? Can’t we just get tired of living or say I’m finished, done it all, want to go home to God, go unconscious, pass out, & appear where we’re supposed to be – Heaven hopefully?

That, – the jury is still out on.

Maybe I’ll get a vision on it. If I do my big question will be resolved. Rasa

From William: I should imagine that God’s POV and our POV would be the same, Rasa. After all God is within us all and we are within God. The only difference would be that God sees the whole while we work on the individual level. william

From Rasa: Good words William, but what is the answer? Why does God appear as a predator to kill other life? And God is also the victims. Why did not God create a scene of Peace, here on earth? I know one can find Peace in their heart & in the afterlife, but when a victim is hunted by a predator it feels frightened, runs for their life if they can, & suffers a violent & painful death. – This so that the predator, who loves itself & it’s children, can live. That is what mystifies me. God arranges & permits this. Why can’t we all be vegetarians & die of natural causes? God can permit us to die sooner & limit the birth rate if God wants to slow down overpopulation.

God can also limit the terror & fear of the hunted. And God does. I know when the fox caught my chicken, I chased it off, I got the chicken & it was in a stupor. - Not totally aware of it’s situation, & it was not injured. Then again when we have severe injuries God does make our own anti-pain system kick in, it numbs the pain. I’ve heard a lady who was shot many times said this. Then God makes us pass out if pain is too much. Yes there are remedies, also made by God. It’s not all 10th degree pain. I understand why humans need pain, correction & suffering – for our sins, from this life & past lives. But animals NEVER SINNED.

I looked up the brain system of animals yesterday & like I said, their frontal lobes, temporal lobes & corpus collasum are not developed like ours. They don’t think & reason like us, they can’t sin, only obey instincts & impulses.

Let’s close this convo for now as none of has the answer. {end}

PS:

From William:

I think Rasa that there is an explanation to what you say in the Hindu text Bhagavad-Gita about the God Krishna. In one of his stories he is charioteer to a prince called Arjuna who had to fight a battle against his brothers. He doesn’t want to do this and asked Krishna what he should do. The advice Krishna gives is to go through with it. Arjuna replied he does want to fight his brothers but Krishna insists he fights the battle against his brothers. This seems to be strange advice for a God to give. But Krishna says it is the whole point of life. We are in this world to experience many different emotions and dramas.

If we go back to the predator and the victim. If we look at any wild-life film it is mostly sex and violence. We see images of predators hunting and killing animals, we see male animals fight each other and we see animals having sex together. The only really loving scenes are baby animals suckling their mothers. A wildlife film that doesn’t show sex and violence and just of animals eating grass or leaves would be very boring.

We think we want to live lives of love and harmony, but is that true? If our whole lives was of just relating to loving and caring people, would we be bored with this? Yes, we want to live loving lives but not all the time. It is the contrast of meeting people who are cruel and nasty that makes us appreciate more, loving and caring people. william

Rasa says: “We are in this world to experience many different emotions and dramas.”

So far, that’s the best answer we’ve got William, lol. So I will rest with that. {end}

College of God & Love, Core Tenets

Prostitution-Priests-Dancing

Prostitution-Priests-Dancing 11-18-23

Believe it or not, It’s Purgatory

Above is the great courtesan La Belle Otero, Spanish/Greek, lived in Monte Carlo, died in Nice, France.

Five Kings sat at her table on her 29th birthday while she danced naked on top of it! BTW those are real pearls. In that era rich men including royalty, gave authentic jewels for sex. She said at one time, had she asked for it, when on a gambling spree in Monte Carlo {she became addicted} she could have gotten 10 grand a night from one of these Toffs. Her dressing room was filled to the ceiling with fragrant roses, huge bouquets. She lived to 97 years old, – there is a movie made of her life- French/Italian, dialogue in French – “the Beautiful Otero” starring Maria Felix {not a good representation IMO} – in her old age was penniless & a prior lover in the govt gave her a small pension. She lived in a room with tiny balcony at the Hotel Novelty until her death in 1965. At her funeral there was one lonely carriage with a royal crest {it says in her book}, other than that, a few associates & friends came – no big fanfare – she was forgotten. At the end of this article see the piece about her plus a MOVIE of her dancing! Her beauty was mezmerizing, her dance vivacious! She’s an example how physical beauty plus celebrity brings one all the things of the world, but when that’s gone, you can whistle Dixie. But I must add she could have died in wealth but she gambled it all away!

I almost skipped recording this thinking it was irrelevant because of the subject but suddenly remembered my own precious teaching, that those things which are most sexy can be most spiritual, & Prostitution can denote ministry to Souls, & definitely, my dance performance is usually for Purgatory.

OK there were dozens of details I have forgot but what I do recall will fit together.

I’m in a place performing. This is vague. But at the end of the dancing – I see in retrospect there are many dancers – at least 20.

At the end, a special group, only 5, are chosen to do Prostitution!

But prior to that activity, they must come out again to perform, & the clients sitting in the audience will choose who they want & then they will set a price & do their thing.

I am not one of the 5 so I go sit in the audience to watch what is going on. The first thing that caught my eye was that they had to perform again, having already done so.

As I sit in the audience I see the first female get on stage, totally naked. She is beautiful of face & body, perfect, & she is nude – no striptease. Her steps are being done on the floor, reclining, facing the audience & doing excellent intricate steps.

The men in the audience, alas, are also only about 5. There were more prior to this ‘specialty’ show. We should have a full house or half, but no, hardly anyone. Pissed at this I look to my right at the group of other females & exclaim with derision,

“So where are all these big buck {money} males?”

There is much weight in these words, as the males, in this dream, are pretentious & they proclaim their prosperity & high standing, but now, the chance comes for this intimate act & there’s hardly anyone in the audience.

I see one seat taken up by two friends. They seem strange, like one’s face is like ‘Jiminy Cricket,’ they are both not well formed.

Next scene, the show is over. I go to the dressing room to gather my belongings – we must all take them when each day’s work is over – & I am looking for my gown.

I see a box which has dozens of beautiful waist cinchers, but they aren’t mine. I even touch one made of a soft white with black embroidery, valuable, expensive. I wanted one of these. But I pass over this box, seeking where is my gown? I do see one I thought was mine but then say no, mine is pure black sparkles, I recall that dress – it’s on the cover of my first biography book, solid sequins with a v-neck top.

This is where I see the rest of the 20 or so females who performed all seeking their wardrobe I our dimly-lit hallway/dressing room.

MEANING:

*{I DO HAVE a good insight what this is, thank God I typed it. It is about my & other women’s ministry to Purgatory, & a decent group of us are helping, but then a special group of 5 can come forward to have INTIMACY with those men who can RECEIVE IT.

I imagine the general helpers are those who care, who pray, who receive or have Holy Masses said, or like me, celebrate the Holy Mass for them.

But now something extra happens. Some women are ready, willing & able to give Grace to certain men WHO CAN RECEIVE IT in order to make the ASCENT INTO HEAVEN.

There are few candidates both ways. Understand that lifting a soul out of Purgatory does not happen willy nilly or at random. There has to be a connection, or else, a Saint like Holy Mary must prepare the link, to get us hooked up to a certain client or clients in Purgatory. And so here it seems someone from Heaven has made connections, or the connections were already there, of who might receive Grace to ascend, – It’s determined who will give & receive God’s Grace.

There are 5 to give, 5 to receive.

I am scoffing at the males, who on Earth, bragged or believed how great they were, & yet, in Purgatory, they have to wait & wait to be delivered. It seems they are there due to their PRIDE.

The two unformed men are an example, in life they might have seemed well formed, but spiritually they were not.

And sadly, it seems to me, these 5 men, although the females are ready, are incapable of receiving this Grace.

The scene where the performing is done & we are getting our costumes: What are costumes? In the Old Testament is says one Prophet left his MANTLE to his successor. The mantle is LIGHT or tools, Gifts, by which the Prophet or minister works.

For a few minutes we HUNG UP our ‘Mantles’ as we were not working, now we retrieve them.

I covet some fine tools or Gifts, seen as the corsets, one which is a soft white with black trim, but it isn’t mine. We can only have those Gifts which God has appropriated – the ones we’re capable of using! So I pass this box of corsets by & continue looking for my own gown/Gift.

My dress is crying ‘funeral,’ the shiny black sequins, solid sequin dress like I used to wear in real life.

The nude female on stage: Nudity is openness & vulnerability, no clothing, no mask. She’s pure Love & Grace. Her ‘on her back’ is another symbol of vulnerability. That is the position where we’re most receptive or can be accessed or attacked by a predator. {Consider, if a predator attacks from the back, they have less access to face, heart, glands & sensitive areas. Or if we are on a ledge or hill the predator cannot attack easily.}

Her facial & bodily beauty are both SPIRITUAL beauty.

Her great steps? Whatever she does, actions of Grace.}*

Then there’s a conversation about Priests – & I speak, in awe, something like this,

“I knew the ‘Priest of Prostitutes’ Father DePaul Genska, who worked at the Catholic Theological Union as a Professor. He even gave me his syllabus to do with what I like. I plan to publish it some day.” {this is facts of real life}

These statements of mine are weighty in my mind.

MEANING:

*{ME: Mother God, what is the significance of this?

MG: It seems like two different subjects, as we’re speaking of non-physical acts of Love & Grace, whereas Fr. DePaul ministered to & about females who were in the business of sex therapy on earth. So how do these gel?

It might be a good excuse to give the sermon on ‘Sacred Harlots,’ where men once went to Priestesses in Temples & donated for sex in order to reach Enlightenment {tantra sex}. Sex was a spiritual act, & here sex is symbolic of transmission of Grace from women to men.}*

Then I am close to Billy Graham! He’s wearing a grey suit & he’s huge. As I’m close to him I feel terrific love coming from him to me, & we kiss on the lips tenderly. And I go a step further & kiss his hand, which he didn’t ask for – he is so humble he felt he had to kiss my hand, not me his. But I wanted to humble myself, as he’s so great. Our kisses were way more than platonic, the lips kiss was kind’ a French, the hand kiss, my mouth was ajar. This has meaning.

MEANING:

{My gut feeling is this is St. Charbel who might be helping you now. This shows how high up he is, of great Holiness {huge}. The kissing is intimacy or Souls exchanging Grace & Love. Both of you are trying to out-humble the other, lol.}

La Belle Otero!

La Belle Otero: The Greek-Spanish Beauty Who Enchanted the Belle Epoque

https://greekreporter.com/2022/07/07/la-belle-otero-belle-epoque/

Agustina del Carmen Otero Iglesias, known as “La Belle Otero,” was said to be the most beautiful woman of the Belle Epoque—so beautiful, in fact, that men dueled and died over her. The actress, dancer, model, and courtesan was one of the most famous figures of the period.

Born of a Spanish mother and a Greek Army officer father in Valga, Spain in 1868, Otero came from an impoverished background. Soon after her birth, her father abandoned the family, leaving her mother to raise her alone.

The family was so poor that, as a child, Otero was forced to leave the home to work as a maid for a wealthy family in Santiago de Compostela. Tragically, she was raped at the age of ten while working for the family and suffered abuse and exploitation throughout much of her time there.

At the age of fourteen, Otero fled the home with her boyfriend, and later dancing partner, named Paco. They went to Lisbon, Portugal, where Otero began her career as a dancer and singer.

Extraordinarily beautiful, Otero was the epitome of beauty at the time, with mesmerizing large, dark eyes, pale skin, rich brown hair, and classic features.

Otero soon became one of the most popular entertainers in Portugal and Spain, both for her looks and her incredible talent as a dancer.

While living and working in Barcelona, the twenty-year-old Otero found a sponsor named Ernest Jurgens who provided her with the funds to move to Marseille and promote her career as a singer and dancer in France.

While there, Otero created the character “La Belle Otero,” who she fashioned as a mysterious gypsy from Andalucia, southern Spain.

In addition to Otero’s great beauty, she was also known to be very witty, curious, and intelligent, making her a popular figure amongst high society in France.

Her mysterious beauty and charming personality embodied the ultimate standards of the Belle Epoque, a period of economic prosperity, peace, discovery, progress, and art in France that flourished from the 1870s until the First World War.

Her beauty and dancing talent made her a star of the famed caberet Folies Bergere in Paris, where she donned incredibly ornate and revealing costumes that put her voluptuous figure on full display.

Famously, her prodigious bosom was said to be the model and inspiration for the twin cupolas of the Carlton Hotel in Cannes, which was built in 1912.

Otero was the epitome of beauty during Belle Epoque

Along with her position as a dancer and entertainer, Otero was also a courtesan to the rich and powerful of Europe. Known internationally for her beauty and wit, the Greek-Spanish beauty was considered one of the most sought-after women in Europe.

She is said to be associated with some of the most prominent figures in Europe, including Kaiser Wilhelm II, Prince Albert I of Monaco, King Edward VII, and many other royals and thinkers of the day.

Her many lovers were the topic of much discussion, and legends formed surrounding Otero’s amorous affairs. It was said that six men killed themselves when their affairs with her ended. Although likely a myth, it is confirmed that two men did indeed duel over La Belle Otero.

Always at the cutting edge, Otero also starred in several early films. Famously, the beauty was filmed in St. Petersburg dancing the famous “Valse Brillante” by an employee of the Lumiere company, who were some of the earliest filmmakers in history.

The one-minute film was screened in Russia and caused great controversy, as an officer of the Tsar’s army appeared in the scene, which was considered unbecoming for a military man.

The great beauty, born into an impoverished family, became fantastically wealthy by the time she retired after World War I. Using the wealth she accumulated as a dancer and courtesan, Otero purchased a mansion worth the equivalent of $15 million.

Yet, somehow she managed to lose nearly all of it in casinos and nightclubs, and by the time she died at the age of 97 in 1965, Otero had hardly any earthly possessions aside from her memories of the Belle Epoque.

She passed away of a heart attack in her one-room apartment in Nice, France.

Reflecting on her life as an older woman, Otero stated that “Women have one mission in life: to be beautiful. When one gets old, one must learn how to break mirrors. I am very gently expecting to die.”

See all the latest news from Greece and the world at Greekreporter.com. Contact our newsroom to report an update or send your story, photos and videos. Follow GR on Google News and subscribe here to our daily email!

College of God & Love, Core Tenets

3 Souls Ascend!

11-17-23 Crossing the Border – Angels & I get Three People to Ascend!

I’m in a world where there’s some trouble & effort. It’s like we’re prisoners in a land where it’s hard to escape, & I’m one of the people helping others. It’s like when a foreign country invades & takes over one’s native land.

OK so there’s this couple & they have 2 tiny kids {tiny kids could represent their flesh}. They might be the same age but she’s much more mature.

I was working with them when we came to a point where the border of freedom was but 20’ away!

I see her, short as can be, no more than 5’ or less, maybe 4’8”. She’s wearing a dark, stiff twill type outfit, the stripes are charcoal black & a grey {prison outfit} & she’s walking with a limp. I see her from the back at this point, she’s getting slowly but surely toward that border!

The mate is just standing there STARING at the border {border is the Other Side-Heaven} – like a child. His face is attractive & he’s staring in awe at the FREEDOM beyond that point & is too scared to move. He’s tall & is wearing LONG JOHNS, the kind you sleep in or maybe old style underwear, that buttons up the front. But the material here is made of a soft, soft light goldeny hue.

There’s a man in charge beyond that border {Celestial, Angel or Saint}, & he comes forward toward the young man, & I also step up & the two of us PUSH him to start moving – the LAST STEPS TO FREEDOM!

This works, & I believes he gets across.

I am also in charge of their two tiny kids, they are like infants, about a foot long, & for now I must place them on the ground in a clump of grass, being careful where I put them – looking at this spot, that spot, in case they move don’t want them in the dirt. I see nothing else in this sequence.

MEANING:

Without a doubt, these are Ascensions, especially the male, as he has on the costume of a Soul in Perfection – Soft Gold. A Celestial & myself help him take the last steps to Paradise – the other side of the border is Heaven. He, they escape this Prison Planet. I physically see me taking his children to the Other Side. The female I see headed there, hope she makes it, maybe she did, but I didn’t see it – unless the two infants represent THEM.

Then there was a scene where only privileged people can dance on stage & they don’t allow some people. But I want to break that barrier, & since I have been one of those folks not allowed on stage, I get up on it now & dance.

Then I get down & encourage this big black {nothing to do with race, this is the Soul} female to do likewise, but she’s lacking confidence. Finally she gets up there but a small white female with a bouffant glittery short dress also got up with her & the two of them danced. The small female was her buddy.

MEANING:

This is a similar theme. Dancing can also mean Ascension, as there’s a ‘party’ in Heaven when a soul Rises. This big female like the man in the previous vision, has not the CONFIDENCE she needs to take the final step of JOY. With encouragement, though, she makes it!

The little female with the bouffant glittering short dress sounds like her Guardian Angel.

My part was ENCOURAGEMENT……………

At last, I see Ascensions! I saw in a dream yesterday, which I did not type, that after my mind gets off the oil situation, I will be free to see Ascensions again!

College of God & Love, Core Tenets

Family Jewels

11-11-23 St Esquire is back—Relationships

I went to my beautiful apt, not sure if it’s new or what, but I had decorated it to the best of my ability but when I see the other’s guy’s adjacent apt mine falls short. I try to fix it.

So here I am & everything is lovely but I don’t like how my bed looks. It’s not super neat, it’s just the way it is, a soft whitish slightly blue/green sheet is over the entire thing, it wants to be more organized.

My neighbor, who actually owns this property, is next door. He was away, now he’s back.

*{MY NEIGHBOR WHO WAS AWAY NOW IS BACK: In real life this is an old friend, Earl, who came to fix a broken window, that the bear had broke telling me how hungry he was. [It was an answer to prayer, lol, ‘Are the Souls hungry when I don’t say the Holy Mass for them? Indeed they are, see this! Rasa, God whispers to us in our pleasure & shouts to us in our pain! Understand how important the Mass is & how HUNGRY Souls are!]

Earl comes off very fortunate in this dream, more so than I! Part of it is the moment I asked ‘How much do I owe you?’ & he said NOTHING. But I had a gift for him, a gold-framed picture of his half Japanese granddaughter & grandson taken about 20 years ago – when I was friendly with them & him.

Our MUTUAL FRIEND is Rudy, who I spoke about yesterday, who appeared in a dream & I helped reconcile him with Mary Jane, who’s still in Purgatory. Rudy ascended in 18 days, so he’s a saint who can help her!

ME: Mother God, the part that I don’t understand, is why is St. Esquire, Earl, my Landlord, the owner of this building?

MG: You have SO MANY RESIDENCES & APTS, this is one of them. It’s like a PORTAL, or in some cases, a GHOST to the past. Earl ‘in a sense’, owns this ghost, a memory, a place in Infinity you can return to, which has meaning. Perhaps a cluster of thoughts & feelings, experiences.}*

He comes to his apt. I can hear him in there. After a while he comes to my apt, our doors adjoining, & tries the knob, but I have it locked. The walls are blue.

*{I HAVE IT LOCKED, HE TRIES THE DOOR: Earl came back into my life which had been shut off from him. I quickly gave him access! He brings with him that host of memories.}

I quickly run to the door – he has the right to come in, this is HIS PROPERTY! I unlock the door, he enters.

As the door opens I see inside his apt. Wow! It’s EXQUISITE! His mantelpiece has dozens of framed pictures on it, each one with mostly silver, very ornate frames in different sizes, piled one on top of each other in a neat way. The rest of the place is done what looks like by a designer. He has exquisite taste & decorating ability.

{MANTLEPIECE WITH FRAMED PICS AS DESCRIBED, EXQUISITE: Here Earl describes all his children & grandchildren to me. He & his wife are close to many of them. He’s helping one grandson remodel a new house – he came to help me right after their day’s work. Two daughters live nearby, they have grandchildren. He has 2 sons, one is far away & doesn’t stay in touch, another is close by & they are friends. And the conclusion is he has a VERY RICH FAMILY LIFE with great communication, support for the kids, & terrific Holiday* shindigs which I asked him about. This is the pictures on the mantelpiece, framed in beautiful, lasting silver – the symbol because I gave him that gold framed image of his grandkids.}*

I try to IMITATE his place but to no avail, I just can’t get mine to look as good.

{TRYING TO IMITATE HIS BEAUTIFUL LIFE TO NO AVAIL, LOL: I speak of my grandkids & great grandchildren – I have 3 of the former & 5 of the later – but they’re all far away & no longer in touch! I’m not rich/beautiful in family as Earl is}.

I am reminded, there was a young female who came to me in an unusual way. It’s a test or experiment or visit to prove something, but what? To see if I’m a good person? If I’m good to stay with or visit or what?

When she arrives at my front door I have a large pink bath towel over it instead of a door. I sense she’s IMMATURE, no knowledge, experience, her judgment is off.

Almost from the start she judges me as not good to get along with, but why?

And she was SENT by this St Esquire, who is my Landlord.

I hear her REPORT, her telling me why I was wrong or off.

But none of it MAKES SENSE.

She’s judged me WRONGLY.

I try to defend myself. Don’t know what happens except she definitely doesn’t come back.

{SHE DOESN’T COME BACK, JUDGES ME, IMMATURE: This is my granddaughter who fits that description. What is said is the facts. She visited me twice & did not want to come back unless I met a series of demands from her, like I must never talk about GOD! So that was the end. Other reasons why family isn’t close – most of it comes down to geography, they being in England, not easy to be close. So I can’t come up to Earl’s level.}

Oh yes, I also see an image of St. Esquire outside, on the street. He’s walking up the street toward the ‘camera’ – my eyes. It’s a scene out of ‘Great Expectations’ & he’s Pip after coming into this fortune.

He’s in exquisite clothing, like a long camel coat, & he’s wearing black round rimmed glasses, but his entire outfit is super rich looking, neat & classy.

And at a little table in front of a coffee shop is his very good friend, also dressed so beautifully, to top it off, he has a translucent scarf tied round his neck, in a bow, the ends hanging down with the soft wind blowing it. A beautiful picture.

*{AH, EARL HAS MET HIS GREAT EXPECTATIONS, he’s come into ‘family fortune’ as described. He’s been blessed. And who is it sitting at that little table with the lovely black scarf? His face I might add, looks bucolic, sweet. It’s RUDY in Heaven! The black scarf tells me ‘funeral’. Sitting there in the OPEN is Heaven {Purgatory would be closed} & the little table is enjoying FOOD or the Fruits of Life. His trouble, pain is over, he has happiness.

And Earl being there also shows good tidings for him, he’s definitely in the Grace of God.

And when I asked him about Rudy he said he misses him every day, he was his best friend. I was glad about these good words, as Rudy can hear them.

Unlike Mary Jane, who previously had such contempt & looked down on poor crippled Rudy. But Earl gave a shining report.}*

College of God & Love, Core Tenets, Shrine to Shiva

Death Frees Him for Me

11-8-23 The Only Problem is He’s Dead lol

Without a doubt, this is Nick. No symbol, just him – a couple dreams.

In one it gets complicated. A man is in love with a lady & he is stalking her – not in an evil way, just looking for her everywhere.

There’s a ‘party’ so to speak down the hall & I know that lady is there, & I also know there’s a chance my Beloved Nick will be there. This man seeking is the husband of the lady he loves.

So I take this man down the hall & there in the doorway is a kind of average size, young male dressed in maybe blue & white, some vertical designs almost like a uniform. And he is BLOCKING the doorway & tells us,

“No one admitted.”

The man I’m with just disregards this person; after all, he has a right to see his wife. He barges in & right there against the far wall his wife is sitting maybe on a couch or bed, & across from her in a chair on the left is my Beloved Nick in a white t-shirt. I’ve seen pics of him in this outfit, with his hair in a soft Afro. He looks at me shyly. There was a question, is he dead or alive? This seems to say the latter.

I barged in also after the man, disregarding the blocker-boy.

MEANING:

*{This will tell us that Nick was obsessed as much as you were, seeking you wherever you might be downtown. You are as much his spiritual wife as he was your husband. You – the Higher Self, help him find you, the body.

You showed him where Rasa was. The male blocking the door is one of his friends, a symbol of all of them as they blocked him constantly from seeing you; they wanted him for themselves & on drugs. But he disregarded them.

You also disregarded these characters to get to Nick. Here the two of you are together, sitting across one another. He looks at your God Self shyly because he had trouble admitting he was madly in love, as you were. He told people ‘she’s obsessed with me’ but he held back the fact that he was also.

White t-shirt is ‘the pure in Heart shall see God,’ purity, innocence, the untarnished heart of someone. His heart was yours/God’s.}*

In another scene there’s a lady who tells me she wants to see Nick, she has a date with him or appt. She is in front of a mirror putting on makeup or dolling up, has on some kind of a show biz greenish dress, fancy. We seem to be entertainers, maybe dancers, a few of us around.

But I tell her,

“The only problem is, he’s dead.”

She tells me he just made the appt recently. So I say,

“Well he was alive then, but now he isn’t.”

She’s then eager to go to that appt as maybe I’m wrong, maybe he is alive.

Below, his parents, his Mom months before his death age 29, his little son

MEANING:

MG: This is to underscore a fact & one in your favor.

His female friend Ruthie had him while he was alive but now he’s dead TO HER NOT TO YOU – the TRUTH comes out – he’s yours.

She was his front. Hundreds of images of them on Face Book, he didn’t allow any of you & him. Why? The pics or video made of him guffawing over you taken by Terrance he ERASED. He kept up a charade. Why? His peers, mostly drug addicts. They shared a lifestyle, if he deviated from it he would have lost his coterie, his standing in this dubious community. He was their HERO & partially because you ran after him – a LEGEND is after our homie – & the professional images you took of him {he did it for party money—entrance to a dirt-bike race track in Unadilla where just admission cost $56. then– Famous for ‘partying’ which means drugs.} which you took that included nudes & erotic. These were put on your website which became the talk of the two bit hoods – they marveled at the size of his dick – it beat the Binghamton record. They RIDICULED him but it was a front for being IMPRESSED. One guy didn’t know I was the photographer & bragged to me about the size of it, like a kid bragging about his ‘big brother.’ He was soundly harassed about the pictures by these people & was ashamed & embarrassed, not realizing they really admired him behind their jokes.

Nick was the ‘class clown’ & the ‘life of the party’ with these folks. His love for me he KEPT SECRET partially, did not reveal it fully although some knew & tried to keep it under the rug

It was like,

“We know he loves Rasa but we will do all we can to keep it under the radar & pretend the lady he’s with is the important one – hide & forget Rasa.”

And he played along with this to gain their favor, to be the center of this world, {he admitted it on Face Book} for easy access to Cocaine & all the things they did together.

On his Face book there’s an OMINOUS UNDERCURRENT. In his own words he complains of having ‘no one to turn to’ {when I left him physically but never mentally} being devastated, wanting to die, ‘death is calling my name,’ he said he’d given in to the devil & now the devil was coming to get him for payback.

Some of his songs – one in particular – he mournfully called out to me saying how miserable he was, he’d made mistakes, take his heart. This one song was called ‘Cocaine & Broken Bottles,’ – if any of you is curious or a journalist see Lambo13 on SoundCloud.

Also if any of you cares to look that what I’m saying is the truth, check his Face Book & look back years of his predictions on his misery & death – I did, & somewhere or other I have his posts written down.

For his beautiful images see my site Embodiment of God, Shiva Shrines.

He took images with everyone but me, now he’s with me forever, lol. Where he’s in ‘formal’ attire is his Mom

Now this second dream presents his front woman who’s saying she’s got an appt with him but I say, problem is he’s dead.

What does this mean?

It’s over. The charade is over, the front, the farce, the mask. Costumes,, fakery, fraud are all gone. He’s lost his body, no more body, only the TRUTH remains & he is my sheep & that of God, he hears my voice, not theirs. He’s intimate with me, not them.

They had him in life but death proves he’s mine..}*

His parents with his son AFTER his death. Your guess is as good as mine where he found his beauty, lol.

College of God & Love, Core Tenets

Spiritual Success with Help

11-6-23 ARNOLD means SUCCESS-He is HERE St. Charbel & Friend Rudy from Heaven Help

As usual, multiple dreams but I’m most interested in the Arnold one, but will pop the others in briefly.

There was one dream regarding my 1^st husband Stan {not a good sign} & I going to the movies & there seeing the journalist Geraldo & greeting him like a long-lost love, lol. {Husband – I moved my seat several times to see others, once flew in the air to join him again. He’s gaunt, tall, skinny, hand almost claw like it’s so thin. And his personality, it isn’t warm or flowing, artificial & stiff, no sex appeal, old fashioned in a bad way. I see how unattractive he was to me in my heart.}

Geraldo was chewing out a man on the left front of the theater, accusing him of all sorts of crimes like murder, that’s how I noticed him. I was wearing a kerchief with medium-dark designs, maybe my hair wasn’t right. I called to hi, said hello, said my name Kellie. He answered. Then I just left Stan abruptly {although one usually doesn’t do that to a husband} – went to him & we kissed lovingly on the cheeks & neck – lots of feeling. Obviously this isn’t Geraldo.

He went to the sign-in at the front, most people, not all, signed in for some reason on this white board on the wall. He is apparently looking for people he knows – why? Don’t know.

Then the dream about working on a farm, having to walk several miles to town with a blue, narrow sort of small wheelbarrow contraption, which falls to pieces when I get there, a woman makes me wait an hour to wait on me, let me know what I owe & I was going to give her beautiful bangle necklaces to sell, asking no $ for them – supposed to be a friend. She’s sewing. Finally I walk out in a huff, she runs out saying I owe her $1 – which is way less than it should be, a token. I was at the trash trashing some cellophane type paper that was packaging something, crinkling it. Then I go to give her the dollar & I have NOTHING ,

not one cent on my person & am devastated. Am baffled what to do – almost crying. Beg?

Then the dream of finding a SPRING & water collects, & I see my hat, which turns into many hats – like 15, all the same, outdoor-summer type material, each have hoods about 6” wide, white hats with about 4 blue-grey stripes every inch, they just appear out of nowhere but that was one hat it started with, a dull dark color, turned into this. I’m not happy about all this. But the spring might be a good sign of Grace.

FINALLY Arnold. – Yes it was a dream before those mentioned but I am eager to record it as it was HAPPY.

I am on some sort of project. I think it has to do with MODELING & I am getting ready. There is an assistant – a tiny man, about 5’2” & slightly bent or hunchbacked. He’s a pro photographer & can take good pictures.

I have to pull together my costumes & go with him to his estate, some place supposed to be nice.

Then suddenly ARNOLD appears, & he’s going to go with me & pose with me. Do you have any idea what a boon this is? I mean he’s the most famous man in the world & he has accepted me & wants to be a part of my work!

He has a look on his face of vibrant light-LOVE! He looks at me this way TWICE, light shining from his face. This is NOT the real Arnold – a symbol. I wonder who it is. But whoever he is, it is success, whoopee do!

Before we embark I am walking in this aisle where he’s standing to my front, right, & exclaiming,

“I have lost 18 lbs & will lose 20 more & my body will be as beautiful as it used to be! I will be 124 lbs!”

But I’m already good enough to take pictures it seems & dwarf is going to do it & Arnold will be with me!

So we get there & it’s a resort. I go through my costumes & have many. The dwarf is organized – I am pleased with that. He has taken several of my outfits – some of which I think he dug up somehow, & laid the items that go together one on top of the other. Some are blue, some other colors, like bra, bikini or bottom {all flimsy clothing, some see-through} – & there are at least 6 outfits laid out here in a row.

The only thing I don’t have is the SHOES! I forgot them & jokingly ask the dwarf,

“What size shoes do you wear?”

I’m imaging my shoes, size 10, white pumps.

And I think I guess I will have to be barefoot, maybe it’s ok.

Arnold had gone ahead, some place for a while. When he returns I greet him with such warmth. His face shines with love the second time here. I say, & it was planned to be real nice to him,

“I was miserable waiting for you!”

Now there is a SLIP, like the old-fashioned slips we used to wear up until the 70’s, as in those days we wore dresses a lot & slips went under them

I have this slip which is my FEATURED costume for some reason. It’s nothing fancy. It’s a light GOLD color – lace on the breasts & the rest just falls, but right now the falling part is wrinkled.

I ask dwarf if he has a steamer, I think he says yes, & once this is steamed, it’ll be perfect.

Now we look for the background for these photos. We look one direction, huge picture windows on his walls. But although it is beautiful, it’s cluttered – filled with people. Not good. – Then another wall & window. – Also cluttered. Then the third & last possibility, also cluttered.

The background must be PLAIN. It cannot be BEAUTIFUL but cluttered, with all kinds of things in it plus people having fun, it has to be bare of all this.

Arnold is around waiting to take the images with me. I am just wondering while still there, why did he chose to do this? How will he be presented along with me, the female model, like in what way? What is his role? Whatever it is, he helps.

MEANING:

ME: As usual I need help Mother God. I am imagining Arnold is St. Charbel, who has stepped in lately to get me straightened out as far as my attitude/disposition & spiritual settings to get things right – to be able to help Souls. I have messed up for a while, maybe a whole year, watching videos on You tube. Nothing bad, some educational, informative, some entertaining, but it has been my downfall spiritually. It was explained in previous dreams, even good things of the world brought clutter & dissipation into my mind, brought in people & the world, & that took my mental strength away from God & Souls. After all, God is a jealous God & we must give her ALL, not bits of ourselves, to be in Spiritual Perfection.

And now I see this whole business about my losing weight & being fit for modeling – already there it seems, in future, will be better. This losing weight is losing attachment or clutter, things I don’t need, of people & the world cluttering my mind, which then stops me from being effective in my God work. Fatness in this context would be gluttony not for food, but for people & things of the world.

Charbel indeed could be looking at me with a face of love – But Charbel has loved me from the start & joined me in marriage, his decision. One of my 7 spiritual husbands I might add.

Costumes would be Lights, tools, spiritual Gifts, spiritual skill, all that goes with doing the work of God.

I’m overjoyed that success is coming back to me; I have been ineffective for a long time in spite of praying a lot {late summer I was praying good prayers 2-3 hours many days} & saying Holy Masses almost daily now for a couple months. But nothing – don’t see Souls Ascending. What’s wrong? I’m wrong. Apparently the state of my mind has lots to do whether Souls are delivered or not.

But it’s all changed. I’ve been calibrated, corrected {losing weight, getting more perfect} & Charbel has STEPPED INTO THE PICTURE!

How has this improvement taken place? For finally humbling myself, stop making excuses why it’ alright to watch You tube 2 hours a night when done with work – & repenting of my sins, faults, mistakes. Asking God to forgive me & correct me. If I was not willing to see I am faulty God might not have stepped in – probably would not have – because God waits for our repentance & humility. It is IMPORTANT we admit we are at fault & stop fooling ourselves how good/great/wonderful we are. Just get on those knees & tell God you’re sorry & ask God for forgiveness & this gets the ball rolling. Mind you, God will not jump in & correct you unless it is urgent & then you might not like what she does. What do I mean? I mean,

“God whispers to us in our pleasures & shouts to us in our pain – pain is the megaphone of God.”

And so, if suddenly disaster occurs, like an accident or illness, & you wonder what’s happening, why did God permit it? It could be God is trying to calibrate, correct you, so just admit your faults & repent.

Who is the dwarf? It could be my friend Rudy, who passed last year & spent only 18 days in Purgatory. He had a good heart, 18 days was a record until Brenda, 20 minutes.

Rudy was badly injured at age 8, run over by a tractor, & was semi crippled all his life with lots of pain & people ridiculed him because of his condition & also as he was one of the few Jewish people in our area, but mostly because he was humble & never fought back. And so Rudy for the first time I know of, appears in my dream helping me. How wonderful!

Yes, he was my best friend in real life & I used to pick him up often at the senior housing & take him to dinner. At the end I was one of the few friends he had, all the other guys he used to hang with deserted him as they were ‘fair weather friends’ & hung with him where they could use him for favors. When he could no longer

drive, could not do favors, none of them visited him or picked him up to take him out. But he did have friends at the senior center who did care about him it seemed. One lady he was even in love with.

So this dream has a great Saint, St. Charbel, & a little saint, Rudy, helping me!

OK how does the light goldeny slip fit into all this? It’s definitely a Light of Love, my main Gift or Tool that I will use to help Souls. The lace on top might mean my affiliation in marriage, with Charbel, which is empowering me spiritually.

Steaming out the wrinkles? Fixing the kinks or what is not perfect. Steam is extremely hot water – water is Grace here. And Rudy has SOME KIND OF SPIRITUAL TOOL of Grace that increases Grace to straighten me out.

The resort the dwarf lives in & uses for his studio where we go for images? Sounds like his Heaven. But in this Heaven Rasa must not include the clutter we have spoken of so much – it must be removed. That is our important task now.

The shoes I lack – imagine them white pumps, high heels, but I forgot them? Imagine going barefoot?

Discalced Carmelites comes to mind – PENANCE. Penance is more important right now than even GOOD INTENTIONS, which are maybe the white shoes. My intentions are always good, but not my behavior! Lol. I have not done much penance, & wow, have I learned my lesson!

Why are those images beyond all 3 walls, huge picture windows, all cluttered? Why so many windows? Why not just one window?

I think it represents the different types of presentations I indulged in on You tube – all brought the world & people into my mind. They were educational, historical, informative, there were also audio books. All brought clutter. This still leaves one possibility I will experiment with later – animal stories such as Robert E. Fuller presents – no people.

I think I got this dream right, Mother God?

MG: You got it right, do the others later. {end}

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