Picasso Ascends – After 2 Masses

{said for him & Farah Fawcett jointly}

Time Incarcerated in Purgatory: 52 years, 7 months, 19 days approx.

Died April 8, 1973, Ascended Nov 27, 2025

At first I did not know who I was talking to. A man approaches me as if there’s a beach to the far right – hundreds of yards away {so it can’t be Purgatory as this is open – Purgatory never has an open sky}.

He stands speaking to me wearing an interesting coat. Reminds me of Joseph’s ‘coat of many colors.’  It’s a robe that goes to the knees in vertical stripes of various colors – some darker, some lighter – I recall red.

We are talking abut artists. Who is the most famous? I think of a few, I think of Picasso. I say yes, he became the most famous in the world.

That satisfies him – yes, he agrees. – That is what he wanted to hear.

*{He wanted me to know who he was – identify him. Look at the picture of him on the beach holding a large umbrella with a female in front – it was sort of like that only no female, no umbrella, just the beach}*

Scene 2 – Cart & Boulders

          Now I see a wagon or cart. It’s constructed of lightweight flat strips of medium brown vegetative matter – about 2” across, woven into a large square thingy, to be pulled by a person or animal {I don’t see who pulls it.} It’s hard to tell if this is a cart or a wagon. Inside this vehicle are BOULDERS {which weigh 300 or so lbs each}. Some are off-white, others different earth colors.   {End}

          MEANING:

          *{I SENSE the boulders are his huge SINS. They are BIG – they are HEAVY – they are SERIOUS. The material the cart is made of will NEVER HOLD these boulders on a trip; The material cited is for lightweight stuff – very light, like paper products. The boulders are his SINS –the cart is his body or person which cannot hold such weight – the cart is WEAK – HE WAS WEAK.  Weak people HURT OTHERS – they commit sins, big ones. Saints no the other hand, have HEROIC VIRTUE – they are heroes. This man was a VILLAIN. He said,

Pablo Picasso said, “Women are machines for suffering“. He made this statement to his mistress Françoise Gilot in 1943.

A man with this attitude will spend more than 52 years in Purgatory.}* 

Scene 3 – the watermelons

          I see two full size watermelons side by side – lying on something, not the ground, higher than that, maybe a table of sorts. The one to the right I can see its underside {like it tilted a bit}, & it has obviousy laid there a long time. We used to grow watermelons & sometimes, if they aren’t moved, they develop on the side where they lie, no color, it’s like no color or design like the rest of the melon, just a plain light green & near it even a patch of light yellow.   {End}

MEANING:

*{The two melons are Pablo & Farah Fawcett.  I twice said Masses for both of them at the same time. {Also said prayers & rosaries for hours} They are entities pictured here, containing GRACE. Water is GRACE. As I celebrate the Holy Mass it fills them with Grace. One of them has been ‘sitting’ there a LONG TIME – Pablo. For Farah it’s over 16 years him over 52.}*

                   Man’s Open, Blissful Face

I see a young man, about 20, face completely smooth, very young. All I see is his face; he’s facing from my right to my left toward me looking to his right & UP. The expression is pure OPENNESS & BLISS.   {End}

Below is how he looked only really blissed out

MEANING:

*{Without a doubt, he looks like Picasso very young. Even younger than 20 – his face sort of like a chipmunk. The smoothness, openness, is when we SEE GOD. Prior to the ‘Beatific Vision’ we are BLOCKED by our own negatives – when all these are removed or cleansed there we see God as we originally did – before sin, before the delusions of the earth – {what yogis call ‘Maya’ or illusion.} Now he sees REALITY – is OPEN to it & it brings joy, ecstasy or bliss.

And so, finally, Pablo Picasso has ASCENDED: Whoopee! Hurrah!}*

This is What is said About Him, Some of his Evil:

Picasso’s Abuse toward women

Evidence of Pablo Picasso’s cruelty and abuse toward women comes from biographical accounts, memoirs, and diaries of his lovers and family members, which describe a pattern of emotional manipulation, control, and misogyny. 

Key Evidence of Abuse

• Controlling Behavior: Early in his life with Fernande Olivier, Picasso would lock her in their apartment to prevent her from modeling for other artists or going out without him, a pattern of behavior that would be considered domestic abuse today.
• Emotional and Psychological Manipulation: Françoise Gilot, the only woman who voluntarily left him, described his “total absence of empathy and love” and a pattern of “idealize, devalue and discard” in every relationship. He frequently pitted his various mistresses against each other; for instance, when Dora Maar and Marie-Thérèse Walter demanded he choose between them, he encouraged them to fight physically, later calling it one of his “choicest memories”.
• Verbal Abuse and Dehumanization: He famously stated that women were either “goddesses or doormats” or “machines made for suffering”. His art often reflected his contempt; for example, Dora Maar was forever known as the “weeping woman” in his paintings, a depiction of her anguish that she resented.
• Abandonment During Illness: When his partners became ill, he often lost interest and sought new, younger lovers. He abandoned his first wife, Olga Khokhlova, when her mental illness worsened and his mistress Eva Gouel when she fell ill.
• Impact on the Women’s Lives and Suicides: Many of the women in his life suffered severe psychological distress, nervous breakdowns, or depression. Two of his lovers, Marie-Thérèse Walter and his second wife Jacqueline Roque, died by suicide after his death. His granddaughter Marina Picasso wrote in her memoir that he “bled them dry” and then “disposed of them,” hinting that his abuse led two of his lovers to crippling depression.
• Predatory Nature: Picasso began a relationship with Marie-Thérèse Walter when she was 17 and he was married and 45 years old, hiding her away in a secret apartment. There are also accounts of him using a prepubescent girl as a nude model for preparatory sketches for his painting Les Demoiselles d’Avignon.
• Kidnapping Attempt: He once tried to abduct his mistress Irene Lagut with the help of a friend and held her captive in a house outside Paris, though she eventually escaped. 

These accounts from those closest to him have led to a critical re-evaluation of his legacy in the #MeToo era, highlighting the “trail of female carnage” he left behind. 

These accounts from those closest to him have led to a critical re-evaluation of his legacy in the #MeToo era, highlighting the “trail of female carnage” he left behind. 

Pablo Picasso: Misogynistic Tyrant with a Talent

By Kay Miller on October 17, 2021

In the same way that he dominated the art world in the 20th century, he also dominated the women in his life. Maintaining several mistresses alongside his primary partner, Picasso is commonly characterised as a womaniser and misogynist. Between the time of moving to Paris in 1900 and his death, Picasso had married twice and had 4 children with 3 different women. Although these women served as muses, each inspiring various pieces of his art or entire periods, they were often discarded once Picasso became bored or uninspired by them. His granddaughter, Marina Picasso, described his misogynistic behaviour in her memoir, Picasso: My Grandfather. “He submitted them to his animal sexuality, tamed them, bewitched them, ingested them, and crushed them onto his canvas. After he had spent many nights extracting their essence […] he would dispose of them.” Marina Picasso’s memoir is a scathing attack on her grandfather and his values; more importantly, the memoir gives a voice to the women who inspired the artist, yet are so rarely acknowledged for their influence. 

Picasso’s finest work was primarily influenced by the many women in his life. His impact on them, however, was far from positive. Olga Khokhlova, a famous Russian ballet dancer and Picasso’s first wife, and his long-term mistress Dora Maar, a highly regarded photographer, were very independent women. In spite of their independence, both women succumbed to nervous breakdowns after each having spent numerous years with Picasso. Picasso’s abuse caused further harm. Marie-Thèrése Walter, a mistress, and Jacqueline Roque, his second wife, both tragically died by suicide. Picasso’s abusive and destructive behaviour did not only affect the women in his life, but also his children and grandchildren. 

In 1943, Picasso began dating French painter Françoise Gilot, and in the 10 years they were together they had 2 children, Claude and Paloma. 11 years after the end of their relationship, with the help of art critic Carlton Lake, Gilot wrote the memoir, Life with Picasso. Picasso attempted to stop the publication of the memoir without success, and it went on to sell over 1 million copies. After the publication, Picasso cut off all contact with Claude and Paloma. As a result, the profit from the book went towards making a case for Claude and Paloma to become Picasso’s legal heirs — a case in which only Marina Picasso profited. 

Separating Picasso’s personal life from his prolific career is futile. Pablo Picasso’s extraordinary artistic talent is undeniable. But the deplorable treatment of the women in his life is also undeniable. That being the case, if we are to continue to hold his work in high regard, we must recognise the suffering of the women that gave rise to Picasso’s artistic greatness. 

          I channel Picasso {speak with him}

          RASA: So it seems you were a bad person. Describe, explain to me why & how you were bad.

          PP:  I was SELFISH. What made me selfish? I was WEAK. I could not stand suffering, therefore I took out my pains, anxieties, fears & frustrations on the women – those who loved me the most.

          RASA: What bothers me is two of them had nervous breakdowns, two committed suicide later on. What kind of evil did you put on them to make this happen? I mean they were not weaklings if they loved – love is spiritual strength. What specifically did you do that was so destructive, what TYPE of behavior?

          PP: it was a turn around change-o presto that I did that caused them to lose it. First, I made them feel important – important to me so I could use them up. I did this to get the energy out of them to make it flow toward me. In other words, make someone love me. A con job. Then I took what they had – emotionally – mentally, physically, spiritually – until there was nothing left to additionally stimulate me. And then I discarded them.  How did this make them feel? Like fools. Firt, they were important & they gave me all. Then they were worthless & useless.

         RASA: Yes but why did they fall for this? OK I can understand they felt important for a while, but when you got done with them, weren’t there other things, other people, other ideas, like Almighty God, that could sustain them? So Picasso did me in, he fooled me. But he isn’t the be-all of life – there is much more to life than Pablo Picasso. Why could they not turn elsewhere for meaning & sustenance?

          PP: Because they were young & foolish – I did not court mature women my own age; they were naïve, gullible, younger ones who’d not been aroud the block, so they could not cushion themselves against the pain. It was like falling off a cliff.  They saw me as the end all & be-all of their lives – my fame & fortune – everyone around looked at me as some sort of God. So if this God drops you, you are lost. Where do you go to replace a God?

        RASA:  And you never felt sorrow or regret during your lifetime when you saw how they fared?

          PP:    I was so selfish & egotistical I felt that it was a testament to my greatness that they went downhill, that they suffered when I dropped them. During my lifetime I never had any empathy, caring or sorrow for the sufferings of others. It was all about me, my career, my fame & fortune – that was all I lived for. But I did pay for it in eternity, didn’t I.

          RASA:  How do you see yourself now looking back & at those you hurt?

          PP:  I was a fool. I could have lived a decent life, treated others properly still had a career. But I went to extremes. I had to be the most famous in the world. And as for them, it’s a tragedy how hurt they were – there’s no excuse for what I did & for what people like me do.

          RASA: Speaking of your career yes you made it to be possibly the most famous artist in the word. But that doesn’t mean you were the most talented, were you? It’s debatable who has been. Your fame was great promotion. Talented yes but the most talented – no. I go for Michelangelo if I had to pick one – or Leonardo DaVinci –  Rembrandt – Turner seascapes – hundreds of other greats. I see you as a beacon of clever promotion, to be honest.

          PP:  Indeed you are so right. It was all clever promotion. I worked at it every day of my life Where did my scribblings get me? Into this prison of misery almost 53 years. Was it worth it? Not at all. If I had to live my life over for what I know now I would not hurt anyone. You can’t take it with you. The only thing meaningful is the love we give to others. I was a fool. Tell the word that they can have my paintings & art – all dust. I missed the Love Boat, that was what was important.

          RASA:  OK Pablo, thanks for the truth. All’s well that ends well. Let’s work to get others to shorten their purgatories or skip them completely, by repentance & paying for our sins on earth.

          PP:  You said it all – that’s what counts.   {End}

11-24-25  Man Asks Me for Help – This is Pablo Picasso appearing anonymously!

          I was in a building, extended, & before me was a partition like you’d see in a bank or a large Post Office, with divisions in parts & widows & screens a few feet up. One partition had bars – just a small window.

          A man behind it, who seemed busy working, spoke to me. He asked me for $1.60. I looked where I had money – it was under a couple pieces of pizza. I pulled out one dollar bill, then two fives, then something else, then some change. I did not have the exact amount he wanted. But I thought hey, I have two singles so I’ll give him that.   {End}

          MEANING:

          *{Purgatory 101 – inside – no sky – & the BARS between him & me, that means restriction or prison. Purgatory is a sort of prison – you certainly can’t get out of it until the conditions are right.

          Now PIZZA including usually any kind of BREAD – to me represents the Blessed Sacrament. This man is asking me for the Eucharist.  And I am planning to celebrate it.

You will see in the dream of 11-27-25 I did only TWO MASSES for this man {along with Farah Fawcett – He turned out to be Pablo Picasso! – & he Ascended! The dollar sixty could refer to he needed LESS than 2 Masses – as mabye when I did the Masses for her & him, he doesn’t get the full benefit. But it was all that was necessary – the value of a bit more than one & a half Mass.}*

11-23-25 Farah Fawcett in Purgatory – My 3 Purgatory Books

          This was a couple days ago. I’m standing in a long room & across from me about 20’ – there are desks between us – is standing Farah Fawcett & looking quite beautiful. We sort of smile at one another.

          Later I wonder – has she Ascended {because of her beauty, the soul becomes beautiful after cleansing is complete}? I ask her. But she says she can’t reach me with that answer in my conscious state, I have to be asleep – lol.

          I say a Mass for her.

          That night I have a dream that seems to be me in it, but upon meditation I realize I am in the skin of another.

          I see a scene of something to do with sex.

          Is this about Farah?

          The trick is the initial contact has a double meaning: Being indoors with blocks or limitation between us is Purgatory. But her beauty is spiritual – when a soul Ascends it’s at its greatest beauty.

          But now this dream somehow does not portent Ascension, so I shall continue saying Masses for her.

          MEANING:

          *{She has not Ascended. God wanted to show me it was her – so She showed me how Farah looked in human form – otherwise I wouldn’t recognize her.

          But the dreams re sex are not spiritual. If they were spiritual it would be another feeling – a lighter one. But this is low-minded. So no, she has not Ascended – it might indicate an attachment to sex. I shall continue Masses.}*   {End}

          She died June 9, 2009. As of yesterday she’s been 16 years, 3 months & 26 days in Purgatory approximately

                   Movie Theater  11-23-25

                   This night I was in a movie theater – a common theme with me, it’s always Purgatory. I am waiting for a vision {the movie.} I search & search for an appropriate seat. Can’t find one. I then, a couple times, ascend into the air, way up – hoping no one will get upset as no one else can ascend into the air here but me. But no one bothers me. I seek through all the empty seats – I see all sorts of people, many disheveled, rumpled clothes, some dark skinned {dark souls, not race} not looking too good.  I find no one I feel good about sitting next to.   {End}

          MEANING:

          *{I am looking through a place in Purgatory for someone I can relate to – get close to – who I can help – But I cannot find anyone.}*

A Few Nights Ago

          There were two of us females & two men. The second man disappears. The female with me was incredibly GREEDY & wanted this man – who is wealthy – to keep buying her designer clothes that cost a fortune, plus other things. This went on & on – the man looks sad as he’s buying but he also knows this isn’t good. He’s like sitting in a seat above us looking down at us. He has a mustache – a look sort of like Douglas Fairbanks Jr. – & he is WEARY.

          I say to the greedy lady why do you need designer clothes when ordinary clothes look just as good? I wear ordinary clothes, I will not insist on getting expensive items from this man.

          Eventually I see myself taking the hand of this man & walking away with him – we’re both happy.

          I hear the thought,

          “Women like that will have a bad Purgatory.”   {End}

          MEANING:

          *{A man is being used by a greedy woman for his money – he’s tired of it & I assist him getting away from her.}*

My Purgatory Books

“Royals Ascend into Heaven”    2025

Here is a rundown of how much time these notables spent in Purgatory: Queen Elizabeth II-2 years, 3 months-Prince Philip-3 years, 9 months-Lady Diana, 27 years & 20 days-Princess Margaret, 22 years 7 months & 11 days. Other famous souls went as follows: Richard Burton- 40 years, 22 days! Body building mogul Joe Weider- 12 years one month, Dodi Fayed- 28 years, 8 & 1/2 months. Rasa spoke to each of these individuals asking what they were being cleansed of. Some of the answers will surprise you, especially Lady Diana. Rasa interviewed Richard Burton at length re his affair with Liz Taylor & the answers were far from what was expected. She has the gift of ‘channeling’-which is mind reading – she converses with souls the way that souls converse once they reach the Non-physical World. She spoke with many Saints inside this book like Don Bosco & Mother Cabrini, had experiences with Our Lord Jesus, Holy Mary, St. Mary of Agreda, St. Charbel & other Celestials. Ramana Maharshi & other Greats used Rasa’s Portal to lift their own clients into Heaven – Saints do not deliver souls in Purgatory directly, they must use someone from Earth- the ‘Church Militant.’ Rasa is one of those rare souls who focus her time caring for these Poor Ones.

“God Waits for Them”

*Two great Saints appear, marry me, & assist me with Souls in Purgatory – lifting a huge number at one time! Sri KALESHWAR & SHIRDI SAI BABA! *I say Mass for Pope John Paul II & he already ascended with NO PURGATORY! I see him in Heaven enjoying Bliss in a Celestial Forest! • Dreams & experiences of Purgatory – Souls which Ascend into Heaven! • Spiritual matters-what is Holiness, What is spiritual perfection? The Gospel of Jesus according to Rasa, against‘prosperity’ preachers • Comments on the Holy Divine Stigmata • St. Martin Luther King, Jr. appears on his Feast Day to get a roomful of clients {in Purgatory} to ascend into Heaven. • How to build a Church in your home – Make Holy Water, Exorcism, say the Holy Mass • Litanies & Prayers to Jesus & Mary • Account of St. Mary of Agreda • “A Russian Legend” re Holy Mary • Prosperity Preachers teach the Gospel of Satan – speak of Costi Hinn, nephew of Benny Hinn & his conversion • Who & What is God? Discussion with William Bond & Pete Jackson • Lisa Lyon Ascends 12-1-23 with a ‘deathbed word’ for Rasa • Jesus & Mary appear with Rasa’s Xmas Gifts – Jesus has Keys for ministry, Mary a new white Mantle for her embroidered with gold-thread roses of True Love! • James Brown Ascends 12-21-23 after 17 years in Purgatory! • Anthony Quinn Ascends! • Great Gurus Ozay Tulku Rinpoche & Ahiranta speak

“Theater of Justice – Celebrity Souls Appear”   2007

Not many understand the principles of God’s justice and purification. That which is imperfect cannot merge with Perfect Purity and Infinite Bliss. This is Truth, Love, Radiance, Beauty and Power, all the superlatives. If one does not meet the standard after repenting their wrongs, they go to the ‘Theater of Justice.’ Guru Rasa Von Werder began a ministry to Souls in 1981, {officially – helped them prior to that since age 9} being chosen by Our Holy Mother herself, to take charge of Errol Flynn. Rasa did penance and prayers for Souls on a daily basis and among them were great celebrities whose accounts she writes. The most recent prize Rasa assisted was Anna Nicole Smith, who ascended in 64 days, breaking all records, and still waiting for Heaven are Anthony Quinn and Richard Pryor. Some of the greats who ascended are Elvis, Dean Martin, Sinatra, George C. Scott, Rudolf Nureyev; Dr. Robert Atkins, and believe it or not, Timothy McVeigh. Anyone can be forgiven.

IMPORTANT FREE PDF ON MY WEBSITE!
ROYALS ASCEND INTO HEAVEN

                   This book costs a fortune on the internet because it’s huge, on good paper, in color. Most people can’t afford it. So I put it for free on my website!

Royals Ascend into Heaven! Free book on PDF

Purgatory re Myself & Fulton J Sheen

          I wanted to perform – to dance. I went to this club. It was rather empty. One dancer to the rightwas on a counter or table doing ‘floor work’ – with men sitting around her. It’s dim – my feeling is this place is not well organized or represented – I need to be introduced, we need an audience, & I must perform in a proper way.

          I’m eager to work but the conditions don’t seem to appear. I’m standing on the floor of this club, not even dressed in a costume. I understand how to do this right – when will the female on the table stop & someone introduce me? I feel the vibes or music go through my entire body from toes to fingers. I know I have to start moving curvaceously the minute I get on stage, undulating every way- my fingers are curving like every other part of my body. But there’s no audience here!

          I go over to the owner – Or a place where he should be. The bar area & a few ‘regulars’ crowding around the bar – some females dressed in sort of party costumes with wide brimmed summer – hats the feeling of being festive – like skirts pink with white edging, flared & polka dots – the hats white. And an area here also, on an elevated place behind the bar, where the liquor would be stacked but higher, is a male with an interesting hairdo – looks like Saint Fulton J. Sheen when he was young – hair to the side & puffed up – the way I posted him on my latest site article.

          Now I have gussied up – some sort of costume. And my hair is quaffed & come to think of it – look’s like St Fultons but it was not meant to imitate him, jut a coincidence! But he looks at me & thinks I imitated him – I am amused by that. And the strange feeling is that he loves me more than I love him – although I do love him.

          And so I tell this group I’m ready to perform! But then ask where are the people? None here, so I say,

          “I can dance then just for you guys – better than nothing!”

          Then the same subject but different scene. I see a woman. I realize she’s in Purgatory. But I see a small room, medium blue color, only 6’ x 6’. She was staying in there, but now it’s empty. I see the flooring with seams & inside those seams, especially one in the middle, dark black muck, like hard, dry tar.

          The people here I believe are the clients of Saint Fulton!     {End}

                   MEANING:

          *{My prayer last night to Saint Fulton was to use my portal to get some souls out of Purgatory. He complied, thank God he did it! Me wanting to perform is wanting to work – get souls out. He is the guy on top of the liquor – liquor is INEBRIATION of the spiritual kind, BLISS or ECSTASY in Heaven. His hair & my hair is we’re THINKING THE SAME. Hair is thoughts coming out of our heads, lol.

          The lady or ladies dressed for PARTY are at least one soul – maybe two – that got out. Hallelujah! The tiny room of blue with the black hard tar was sins she had to be cleansed of, so she isn’t there any more means she Ascended!

          My being eager to perform shows my zeal & there was another lady there trying to help but I felt I was better, lol.}*

          Earlier Dreams – I’ve been sick & exhausted, so tired & busy could not write my dreams, even important ones of Ascensions!

          A VIP Ascends! This answered a prayer. I did not say the Holy Mass but mourned the opportunity – a soul could have ascended so I prayed,

          “My Infinite God. Who am I that one of my Masses not being said could deter the Ascension of a soul into Heaven? You are Infinity so please override my failure & get a soul or souls up there in spite of me!”

          And that night had this dream: I am in a Church where there’s a celebration. But there’s a man so important that none of us is allowed to go up by the altar & get close to him. In front of the altar I see cascades of beautiful pink roses, the biggest roses in the middle & smaller groups cascading to the sides. We are all there to celebrate & there is a peaceful joy.     {End}

          MEANING:

          *{A great man Ascended! Shows the Power of prayer!}*

Man in White Jacket

          Here’s a guy in a beautiful white jacket, beautiful material, & I am behind him {don’t see him at all}. The only problem is I was kissing his jacket all over his neck & upper body & have left pink lipstick everywhere! How on earth do I clean off this pink lipstick? I wonder.   {End}

          MEANING:

          *{A man has Ascended due to my love – KISSES show LOVE, pink is JOY!}*

Man with Hairy Body

          There is this attractive man close to me, with a nice jacket, & the jacket has beautifully designed into it two holes, exposig part of his chest & abdomen, & here you can see he’s is hairy in a very nice way. I say to him, & I am serious, not joking,

          “The hair showing there makes me want to put my hands into his jacket.”

          He smiles in amusement.   {End}

          MEANING:

          *{This is the man who helped me load my packages into my car shopping at a store yesterday. I asked him for help – he seemed happy to do so. The hair on his chest & abdomen – hair is GROWTH so it shows  growth in CHARITY as the heart is there & the abdomen could be saying ‘gut instinct’ told him to help. Maybe he was amused by me, my forwardness & friendliness.}*

Thick Afro Hair  {11-5-25}

          I’ve been fixing my black hair & it’s an Afro – & it’s so thick it has like a billion hairs coming out of my head, & it’s abot 5-6” tall around my head. If you touch it it’s like a sponge. I go up to two guys & show them my hair & tell them to touch it to see how it is. It’s wonderful.   {End}

          MEANING:

          *{My MIND has been doing really well – these hairs are incredible. I’ve been praying well all night. Improving myself, proud of it.}*

Ven {Saint} Bishop Fulton J Sheen Speaks to Me  11-2-25

          Terrible night of suffering – thought I was going to die. Went deep inside my soul, calling on numerous Saints, souls in Purgatory, Angels. I’ve been ‘out of it’ now for maybe 6 weeks, all kinds of trouble, & if it led me to this, it was worth it.

          Thinking I might die, never was I more enthused to reach the Almighty. Since lately I’ve been watching the sermons of Ven. Fulton J. Sheen, & been channeling him – I called on him.

          It was not an easy discussion because understand he was the mouthpiece of the Catholic Church – the traditional, Patriarchal, “here it is & nothing else” narrative; confined views, didactic POV’s, & 100% against women. And he HAD to represent this. I’m quite sure he did not PERMIT himself to think otherwise, even if he was tempted because he was brainwashed from birth to see it this way & no other way was possible.

          I began to introduce my ideas to him which are counter to some of what he thought. Not sure why – just had to. Because I want him as a friend & an acomplise! This began slightly before but I was on thin ice as I could sense his reticence, even his mild shock, when I introduced something like this,

          “Bishop Sheen, I am introducing a new religion and one of its tenets is the equality of Jesus & Mary, based on the teachings of Ven. Mary of Agreda, the ‘Mystical City of God.’ This explains how since infancy Mary was praying for the Messiah to come to earth & because of this fervent, constant prayer & her Holiness, God answered her & used her as the conduit. {Therefore She was the first priest of the Catholic Church, bringing forth the Body & Blood of Our Lord.} She was the full & total partner with Jesus in all his sufferings – prior to the time the Gospels were describing – when they ministered privately to the people. She was with him when He went to the mountain to fast & pray – She did so in her cell. She helped him in all his miracles. She suffered with him in his Passion – all He did She suffered & labored with him equally, not the slightest bit less than He, etc.”

          Bishop Sheen was taken aback by this & said he had to think. I figured he’d think days, weeks, months. But a few seconds later he said,

          “Alright, I understand. God has shown me what you are saying is true.”

          I’m trying to recall what he said – how he said it. On my side – Pete – You know all the principles I stand for. I spoke out these principles one by one – he answered each one in the most gentle & humble voice I’ve ever heard.

          It took place from about 3AM to 6AM as I could not sleep. With each issue I described he would give me support like so:

          “I will see to it that you get this done,”

          He said it about the ‘New Religion,’ – the Order – all my different projects – He would see to it – he would make sure I succeeded.

          What I emphasized the most is the downfall of the Catholic Church. I told him it would shrink down – already has – because of their stubborn stand against women. The Protestants opened their doors to female ordination but the Catholics refuse. The world will move forward without the Catholic Chuch.

          There is much good in this Church, I said, & this will not be lost. Myself & others will take it principles, teachings & Sacraments & step away from the misogyny of the organization, begin our own organizations.

          I did admit that mine will treat men the way Muslims treat women. I explained why – We believe it is God’s will that women rule the family & the world.

          I also said in our POV every Mother should be a Priest, & celebrate the Hoy Mass each day for her family. Why limit this Sacrament by forcing people to go to a building where only men preside?

          I spoke a lot about Matriarchy & how the tide is turning toward it, ending the short but miserable run of Patriarchy. Kali Yuga, the age of violence & war, will end.

          Believe it or not, he did not protest, he was fine with all that I said & kept restating he would support me to success.

          His overall final statement was,

          “I see you were sent by God to reform the Catholic Church.”

          One of the big issues I explained to him was the message of Our Lady of Fatima – & how nobody gives her credit as the Power, nor myself as her messenger, that ended the Cold War.

People absolutely dismiss any claim I might have to being chosen by her – by God Almighty – in this great Event. I have no power, I am but a clay vessal. But God uses us clay vessals to put her Power in to do her work. But being I am associated with the adult industry, no one believes – certainly not the general public, that I am of God, sent by God, doing God’s work. They are so brainwashed against women, sex & nudity that they cannot believe.

          I told him I had heard his teachings against nudity & the big example he gave – the man of Legions of demons in the wild, who was always naked was not enough evidence to condemn nudity. I said I believe in his sermons, they are great, & they have influenced & saved & improved millions of people including mself from childhood. I know you are a great Saint, I told him, but ideas move on, some old ideas need to be thrown to the curb. Surely we know a lot of things now not known millennia ago – where people had quaint & superstitious thoughts about many things. Life it needs constant examination & revision.

          Now I brought up the Third Secret of Our Lady of Fatima’s message – which the Catholic Church never revealed, & I recently had an understanding of what it was about, & to my absolute shock, learned that I was responsible re this Third Secret – the event which it speaks of. The Third Secret goes something like this – according to ME:

          “There will be a very great scandal in the Catholic Church, which will bring it to its knees regarding sin & corruption, & the Church will be rocked to its core & never recover from this.”

          This revelation came to me after I read, when Lucia told someone abut the Secret – who asked if it was good or bad, she said,

          “It will be good for some, bad for others.”

          This coincides with what I said. But here is the part that shocks me –when I think that I was the one God chose to speak the message of Fatima why could I not be the one who also had something to do with the Third Secret? “Good for some, bad for others?” Good for the victims, bad for the abusers.

          About a year before the first big media featured lawsuit was forged in Baltimore, Md., I had embarked on a venture to preach on the street. My husband Richard Von Werder was still living – I asked him to get me a loud speaker to speak on the street because I was going out there to preach.

          For 2 ½ months in the winter, I walked up & down the streets of our small city preaching. It was stressful & eventful, as you can imagine. At the end of this I was burned out & told God I’m sorry, I can’t. But I will do another month preaching in a loud voice one hour a day, at home, in the wilderness, in my attic or basement; against predators, criminals & abusers. This I did. If you think either of these was easy – try it some time.

          A year or so later the lawsuits began to break. Another, then another – it was a series, an outpouring of lawsuits such as the world had never seen, of people suing the Catholic Priests for child abuse.

          I was perplexed. I asked God -What happened?

          “Don’t you recall what you did with the preaching & praying in a loud voice?”

          Yes I said,

          “That was the result.”     {End}

        Her Majesty the Queen & Philip  {9-24-25}

        We have had dinner together & when we are done I stand up & begin to gather the crumbs all over the white tablecloth. The table seems to be covered in several white traditional tablecloths, like sections. The crumbs are not just bread, some of them are light green so it’s some other kind of food. I at first pretend not to notice but the Queen has also stood up & is doing, to my left front, the same thing – gathering the crumbs. {While Philip sits at the right facing the table & across from the Queen I am down the table from both of them, my section the more narrow or “head” of the rectangle table.}

        And I finally say something starting with,

“Your Majesty,”

but I can’t recall the words except I was saying she should not be cleaning up the table the way I am.

MEANING:

*{Queen Elizabeth II is in Heaven & she’ a humble saint there – We exchanged God’s love & she’s acting like a servant. I am also. Prince Pilip is taking part.}*  

Another dream later 

There’s another character here. She’s an attractive woman, dark bouffant hair indented at the side/middle of her head wearing a nice black dress, slightly low cut & she’s about 35. She’s explaining someing, like she was passed over before but now she’s been vindicated & things are set right.

She’s speaking of another woman – who was set up on a pedestal while she was passed over.

I see that woman vaguely in my mind, while a distinguished man is to my right.

Speaking of that ‘other woman” I say,

“Yes, I did’t think it would work. I feared the worst but hoped for the best – because she was dingy.”

When I say the word dingy the important man to my right takes issue – so I say

“What I mean is she was immature.”

MEANING:

*{The lady in the bouffant hairdo is Queen Camilla saying how she was passed over at one time but now things are all straight – lol.

I am saying how Lady Diana wa dingy – I hoped for the best but feared the worst. King Charles doesn’t like me criticizing her so I change it to she was immature…I’m picking these things up from their minds, it isn’t that they are thinking about me.}*   {End}

Catch the Popcorn Bridal Bouquet – One Soul Ascends, Anothor is Next  9-27-25

There is someone who JUST GOT MARRIED way up in the air – like thousands of feet up. And she drops her bouquet & whoever retrieves it is the next to be married.

It falls to the earth way down among houses – I guess I’m up in the air also so I dive to get it – it is imperative for me that I catch the bouquet & I do!

It’s composed of two popcorns. One piece is solid, the other piece is a few crumbs or pieces of it – I pick them all up so I’m the winner lol.

MEANING:

*{This ‘next in line’ seems to be someone who’s going to Ascend into Heaven. One soul from Purgatory just ascended – in spiritual terms this is Mystical Marrriage or Union with God. I perceive another soul is about to Ascend, who I am assisting – catching the bridal bouquet for this person. Why is it seen as popcorn? Possibly because it’s similar to rice – corn being popped might be saying ‘it’s time’ or in other words, the grain is cooked or popped.}*   {End}

The Man I Want to be Rid of  {From my Mind} 9-27-25

I want to be private & safe in my house & I have secured – I thought – all the windows & doors. But downstairs I hear someone messing with a key like he’s entering. I go to the staircase & see at the bottom prior to the first step of the stairs in the living room, a big fat man, naked – he just undressed – & I know this man wants to rape me. {He’s been dogging me around}

I rush down there & I pick him up by his skin so he’s hanging in my hands – he weighs 250 lbs so this is quite a feat.

At this moment a large truck has arrived on some sort of service call – from the left to the right & it’s stopped in front of my house.

I believe that if I place this man on its engine it will take care of the problem – get rid of him.

The bystanders see my physical strength & are amazed.

MEANING:

*{This says I’ve finally got over my preoccupation with a certain man I shall call ‘X’. His dogging me around & wanting to rape me is possessing my mind – invading it against my will. I finally put an end to it. His fatness is he’s of the earth. Me picking him up is my will power. Why by his skin? It’s like he’s garbage – I don’t want to touch him so something you don’t want too close to you you might pick up that way.

The truck coming by is the garbage truck – lol – I know the subject of him will be trashed or disposed of. Left to right is from bad to good.}*  {End}

9-25-25 Need a Church

        On the 23rd I prayed for hours & heard the Light within me say,

“You need a Church”

I wrongly immediately thought of a CHURCH BUILDING & looked on the internet for churches on sale.

That was as dumb as St. Francis of Assisi rebuilding crumbled medieval chapels when God told him “rebuild my Church.”

God was speaking of the spiritual example Francis was to donate – the aspect of POVERTY he was famous for & that would rebuild the spirituality of the Church.

So what was God telling me? I had been DEPRESSED badly that day – it had been coming on a while – & I NEVER get depressed but I was. It was so bad it was scary. So what was God saying that would HEAL me or take me OUT of this depression?

God was saying I need a CONGREGATION – that’s what a Church is: a group of people who believe a certain way. They have a leader or Pastor – & I would be that Pastor & I would teach, preach & do the rituals like Holy Communion.

I NEED this to fulfill my persona – it’s who I am. I need to send out energy of the leader/Priest – I need them to receive it to respond, to ask questions & open their little beaks for the Mother bird to put in the nourishment. It is a Maternal, Source-style exchage of energy from me to them, from them to me. Children by their nature demand help, I need those who need my help. I need them to speak to me, I need to speak to them – there must be an exchange. This displays a flow of energy – right now there is no flow – & thereby causing my depression.

Right now the sites I have there is no energy – the blog no one is posting or speaking to me. One day we got over 116,000 views, but not one person made a comment! And my regular website doesn’t have the ability to take comments – that was established long ago & I don’t know how to change it.

My You tube does have some comments – all from men based on how I look – {sometimes they speak of other things but it’s all men. If it was about content some women would comment but they don’t.} It’s better than nothing but right now there’s a glitch & I can’t get on – that & other setbacks might have triggered my depression.

So here I was checking out Church buildings near me in two states & imagining;

“I’ll be in a big Church I bought with no audience, maybe 2-3 people – & I’m paying all kinds of expenses – what a fiasco!”

Because right now I have no following – no audience – no congregation!

How do I get one? The closest I ever came to a following was on Facebook – so there I must go again. And it took this TIME to figure out the name. I was confused. Thought of a dozen names, nothing seemed right.

Then I KNEW: Saint Mary Magdalene. Why? Why not Bl. Virgin Mary? Because Mary Magdalene is in a sense, who I am & all women of God whose reputations have been ruined by men – because they are in the adult trade, because they are gamorous or sexually free or like that – such women are degraded & grinded into the dirt without cause. This is what they did to Saint Mary Magdalene – a great lady, a Princess – her Dad a Roman Prince, her Mom a Jewess – the most gamorous & wealthy woman of her day – she owned the city of Magdala.

Yes she had sins, yes, Jesus removed demons, but she was not a slut or courtesan or prostitute, her sins were vanity & pride – because of her beauty & status according to St. Anne Catherie Emmerich. Anne says Mary’s Mother set her in a picture window fcing the street, to sit there as an icon of beauty for passer by to drop jaws – when she was a girl. Maybe she was selfish & arrogant – those kind of sins – NOT prostitution! She was, says Anne Catherine Emmerich, the most spiritually evolved of all Jesus’ disciples – He loved her, He wanted her to lead his Church but the men pushed her out. Yes, she was a mainstay of Jesus ministry, she financed his work. Saint Mary of Agreda says she gave a large donation to Judas not to betray Our Lord – but he did it anyway.

And so I will use this name as a facet of our ministry & Order – it fits.

When I will open up this Facebook I don’t know – but soon. I have my old webman coming; he might do it if I can’t make a go of it myself.  I need that flow of energy.   {End}

9-20-25 Our Lady Visits Me

        This is rare.

        I am some place dealing with friends when a rare visit occurs: My Mother appears.

        She is short – like 5’2”, dressed in rich medieval colors of sort of folds of cloth hanging on her body: magenta, maybe borders of yellow, other dark colors.

        She holds a tiny sprig in her hand which is from a Spruce – which apparently I gave her as a gift – & she asks me where it came from & was it expensive.

        I show her where I got it – right behind me is a bush of this Spruce & I just took a tiny piece from it for her. On top of this bush is a statue of Our Lord dressed in beige & slight bits of maybe light blue & yellow. I tell her it was not expensive at all, just this little thing.

        At this moment my 2 friends I’d been talking to walk right in front of us from right to left – I wonder if it’s appropriate for me to introduce my Mom to them but for some reason, I do not.

        The feeling from her is not a Spirit or ethereal person from Heaven but a pysical,biological feeling that this is my earth Mother.

        MEANING:

        *{This is the Holy Virgin to be sure because it is about Jesus!

        And I have a hunch it’s because I’ve been saying more “Hail Mary’s” than usual throughout the night {along with  a series of other prayers ever time I awaken} hoping maybe I’ll fill up 50 like a rosary & please Mary that way- but along with that I’m also saying the prayer I composed for Our Lord that goes like this:

        “Son of God, Jesus Christ,

        We praise your Holy Name

        Come into our hearts & souls,

        And fill us with Divine Grace,

        Make us Holy as you are Holy

        Help us to live in you” {35 words}

        It resounds sort of like our Hail Mary:

        “Hail Mary full of Grace

        The Lord is with Thee

        Blessed art Thou among Women

        And Blessed is the Fruit of Thy Womb, Jesus

        Holy Mary Mother of God,    

        Pray for us sinners

        Now & at the hour of our Death”  {41 words}

       I composed this prayer a few years ago as a companion to the Hail Mary, as I felt such a prayer was lacking in our repertoire. It needed to be short & sweet, like the Hail Mary.

        I think the Holy Mother has come here to say thank me for the prayer! Asking me if it was expensive is asking if it was hard to compose & it wasn’t – took no effort at all I tell her.

        Spruce is an evergreen – symbol of Eternal Life, like the Christmas tree.

        The spot where I show her the Spruce ‘bush’ is  exactly where a wild rose bush is in my back yard. Roses represent love, so that is what this is about.

        Apparently Holy Mary is pleased with my love for Jesus – as I’ve been repeating His prayers double also like the Hail Mary, so somehow I summoned Her love!

        And She wants to show me – that could be the GIFT – that She is indeed my REAL Mother, not just a spiritual idea nebulous & far away but she is my real earthly Mother here as well as in Heaven.

        The two men walking by must be Pete & William, my two collaborators. They can’t see Holy Mary as I do so I can’t introduce her to them, lol.}*   {End}

9-22-25  the Big Hotel Where at least ONE WOMAN WILL ASCEND! Purgatorial Files! – My Body Well Developed – My Cat is my Dead Terrier Fatty Returned

        OK, first the big hotel.

        I was visiting this big hotel trying to find the room they usually accomodate me in – a room I have been to in dreams many times – it’s like an apt. It’s beautiful, off to the right side off the stairs, private & whenever I need a place to stay, always available. {This happens with other accommodations also, in my dreams – one hotel room at a resort that is neat, clean & super cheap- only $9. a night, & they always provide it for me!}

        *{these rooms are states of consciousness that permit me to visit other places – dimensions – in particular the Purgatorial states I visit a lot}*

        So I enter the hotel & am on this floor like 1^st floor, but can’t find the room & I HATE the way these rooms are furnished – not my style whatsoever, dark blue upholstery on semi-modern furniture with checks all over the material. I loathe it & can’t wait to get off the floor – I see many people accommodated here & there, about the place.

        *{Apparently, I decide which places in Purgatory I do or don’t want to visit – which people I do or don’t want to see!}*

        In trying to find my room somehow the number ‘6’ comes to mind & I guess it’s the 6^th floor, but I hit the wrong button on the elevator & see by the stone appearing on the wall this is below 1^st floor – the basement. So I reconnoiter & try again.  Up I go.

        *{6 has meaning because I lived on the 6^th floor in Brooklyn where my most significant experiences of God occurred. Jesus & Mary visited me there in 1^st class visions {the deepest kind} – Mary twice. Took my vow of celibacy there at the bequest of Holy Mary. I saw God Face to Face from there twice & received the Grace of the Interior Divine Stigmata. This seems evidence that I got SPIRITUAL POWER FOR PURGATORY because of some of these experiences or evolutions}*

        When I do go up there is a very large room – the entire floor is this huge room like a nightclub & there are mostly women milling about & some of them are in evening wear!

        I feel a bit unsure if I’m ready because I’m wearing ordinary clothes & my nails might be a bit dirty from work. I’m sitting at one of the bars having some kind of drink & to my right I see a lady in a diaphanous gown – light beige, very fancy, has panels streaming off each shoulder {I used to have a gown like that for stripping long ago}. The material is see-trough, floor length; there may be some kind of flower or other decoration by her bustline or waist. I’m wondering what she’s dressed up for & I vaguely know in this room there are others dressed like that but don’t actually see them. This is a multi-service floor; bars, tables here & there – huge space.

        *{this woman is showing me SHE WILL ASCEND! It’s immediate I guess. The panels streaming off her shoulders represent wings or veils that will be moved away to see the Divinity Face to Face. And the flower or decoration represents love or attainment. She is showing me this as I sit ‘at the bar’ just ordinary with dirty nails from work. This is me as a         WORKER or trying to help souls & drinking the BLOOD of Christ in Holy Communion.}*

        After a while I start talking to women sitting here & there, all dressed in various kinds of clothes some sitting on stools, some other places & positions, sort of scattered.

        It’s like we were all WAITING for something to do with MEN – but WHAT I don’t know. And it seems a mystery – none of us knows & we are unsure & uncomfortable for what awaits us.

       Then some kind of announcement is made that we can go off to the right, slightly elevated, where there I see a hallway with beautiful light wood square panels {the kind I like from England} lining the walls & soft light – but it’s different than what I expected – I thought I was to go some place left.

        I stand up & ask the other women are we going there? And laughingly I say,

        “So if we get raped, so what?”

        *{Thse are the other souls in Purgatory all of whom are WAITING for God to deal with them – not knowing what other sufferings await, nervous so to speak, in anticipation. I am urging them on – saying so what if we get raped – meaning – so what if we have to suffer? The vision of the hallway, elevated, is some place we could go to  SPEED UP the process of Purgatory – the square wood panels might be saying ‘take up our Crosses & follow Him’ or don’t be afraid – just do it. There’s soft light there meaning the Grace of God is with us. So I’m encouraging these other souls who have yet to bear some pain, on their way hastily to shorten the time by enduring more.}*

        Other Scene

        In another scene there’s an exchange of food like I go to a family & I bring food while they also have food which we share but it’s gotten totally nebulous.

        *{This could be a family on earth or in Purgatory I’m helping. Exchange of food is exchange of love. Love is NOURISHMENT – it GIVES LIFE.}*

        The Body Building Body

        Then I’m with a person or persons doing something & somehow I’m looking at my body – which is almost naked. But we’re in a dim light. It is incredibly well developed like huge lats {latissimus dorsi – the side wings} & over all huge muscles. Don’t see much definition or striations. We’re working on something.

        *{Here this development refers to spiritual development under the guise of flesh. The lats, sometimes called WINGS {lol} certainly symbolize spiritual flight or ability. Someone is helping me – could be a Saint, Guardian Angel, or even a soul in Purgatory praying for our work. Souls in Purgatory can sometimes do miracles. They cannot help themselves whatsoever – but they CAN help us!}*

        My Doggos – Important

        There’s this back room, a long rectangle it seems, with a strong, thick, dark door. It has a window way to the bottom, like a few inches off the floor, just a glass, not the kind you can open. I see through this it’s lit up inside this room.

        Inside this room I see my black terrier ‘Fatty’ & she’s maybe pawing the window & my black dog, the same size & type as Fatty but slick, smooth hair, opens that door for her & the two start playing, jumping all over each other & the like.

        MEANING:

        *{Whoopee – this is my long-dead terrier Fatty, who was very close to me –in Heaven {the lit up room with the thick dark door & window etc}. And this shows a transition of her returning from Heaven to earth to reside in my black cat – who’s seen as the slick black doggie her size!

        Fatty wants to be with me again so here she is! Now with this & all the other things I learned about cats I’m being much more considerate & kind to Blackie, lol. This is proof that animals from Heaven can return to earth to be with us via this ‘possession’ of another animal!}*   {End}

From Dr. Juan Carlos Cassano, a representative & historian of body building

Hi Rasa

The decision is totally yours, but my plan was to honour you.

The women in the Mr America are drug tested.

I understand you have your opinions, and I understand your point of view.

This is the way the competition is.

I know many of the competitors, they are really lovely people, and many of them have to be champions before entering this contest, so this look is not forced upon them, but rewarded in current scene in natural bodybuilding.

I personally do not mind it ( ie the way the females look being a full blown heterosexual, except I don’t agree with the implants…looks a little ridiculous). My opinion is that females, like males, should develop their physiques as much or as little as they want.

That is why there are different categories. The female open bodybuilders look way bigger and muscular, that is for sure.

If that is their choice, then so be it. But that also has to do with those that compete in bikini, figure etc. They chose to compete in these categories because many of them like looking like sexy women.

They choose to do it. No one is putting a gun to their heads.

The men have to go through hell too, with the diets to get shredded to the bone. It is their choice to do so too.

But that is one thing I do not agree with, the shredding aspect. It is not healthy, but hey, I am just a host, and I would rather host a natural event than one that encourages steroid abuse.

At least the athletes aren’t taking dangerous cycles of Performance enhancing drugs.

Again, the choice is yours. I would like for you to be onstage and receive your prize, and speak your mind.

It is not often that women get honoured in this field, and because you truly are THE PIONEER, this would be very fitting.

It would definitely motivate all the women competing.

Best regards

Carlos

                Hi Carlos,

           {I explained to him in an earlier letter that God said such a trip & event might trigger another heart attack – which could be the end for me}     But you aren’t even sure the President would want to honour me this way or would like to give me air time to speak, or would want me to give my honest opinions. I’ve been this road before. I once thought I had a friend who was helping me – an insider – who was all gung ho about me. He was helping me put together the history of what happened while I was gone {in the bb field} – something I really needed.

        He invited me to speak on his blog. I did so When he discovered what I really thought, {which was feminist oriented} he was horrified, & kept telling me how to change my posts ‘ Don’t say this, don’t say that, etc.’ He took away my freedom of speech so I left the blog.

        And he became my enemy. He called Dan Lurie & tried to persuade him NOT to give me the Progenitor award or put me into the Hall of Fame! He & his female friends stated they did not believe I was a good representative for female bb because I posed nude! Here I got it started & the female bb’s either did not know who I was or else they condemned me for my adult trade work They were not grateful because no one promoted me as being worthy of gratitude – Joe Weider & Arnold were a monopoly & they worked against me. That was my fate.

        You have your points about all that you say. We both have opinions, so what? The promoters do what they want to do – we’re just observers.  They did the work, spent the time & money. In your view, the contestants do it because they want to. You’re right. The one contest I read about it’s a BEAUTY contest & a fitness contest, not a ‘body building’ contest strictly speaking. So everyone agrees to do it – be my guest.

        There is nothing wrong with such a contest. But I just observed the RULES are different for male & female. Males can do certain things – females can’t. Different type contest.  But in the drug contests anything goes. Different contest. Is there such a thig as ‘good’ or ‘bad?’ Depends who’s looking, from what point of view. Maybe they’re all good, even the drug contests, they prove a point.

        Perhaps this discussion would be salient in the book you’re planning about me.

        BTW – I did not come upon what PRIZES are given financial or otherwise. Do you know about that?

        About the natural contests: I was in contact with a female black bb journalist {passed away} named ‘Iron Eyes.’ She was a colunist for a bb magazine & we spoke – she wrote abut me there.

        She told me this,

        ‘The IFBB initiated drug testing & what happened was the black body builders maintained good muscle, but the whites did not. So they stopped the testing.’

        I do notice – look at the winners – mosty black. So black people finally have a chance to stand tall & win because all the years they suffered as slaves working like animals, here is their reward, however little it may be.

        Once black females had no chance of winning our beauty contests in the 70’s. Because societal culture said they were not as beautiful as whites – prejudice. But here Patsy Chapman won one of the first bb contests – it as 1979. When MUSCLES were the criteria, prejudice went by the wayside. A place for black people to shine! In fact look at the professional scene – Iris Kyle is the ‘greatest’ bb of all time – male or female – & she is black. That in terms of how many contests she won.

        If this venue would honour me I’d be very grateful. But can I turn back the hands of time & eliminate the 3 heart attacks I had in 2017? I don’t like to talk about ailments but last time my heart doctors examined me they said I should have open heart surgery. I refused & will take my chances – no surgery, no stents. I’m relying on God & the plant diet to heal me & live as long as I need to to finish my work. So if I die in the course of hoping to get this recognition – which is not even for certain they’ll give me it – I could not finish my God-ordained work.

        I have to compose the New Religion for Women – which is maybe 80% done.  Need to create a BLUEPRINT for a bona fide Matriarchal Order – which would be the first of its kind in America or maybe the Western world. This is about 50% done.This is no walk in the park – I need my mind & heart to be clear, focused & on point. Need to rewrite the Catholic Catechism – & include in this the teachings of Yoga & Wicca  – a Mother-God centered POV. I need a few more years to do this – one doc in 2017 said if I was lucky I’d live 3 to 10 more years – with surgery. I had no surgery. It’s been 8 years. God told me I’ll live to 91-92. This will give me enough time – I just turned 80.

        How I’d love to be on this stage & get all the love & kudos you want me to have. But I will have to be content with history. I am history. Represent me from where I am now – an armchair General, sitting at my desk, recalling my life & explaining what needs to lie ahead – from my POV.

Thanks for caring –  Rasa

PS I was sent by God to do what I did & am doing. I also was the vessal of Our Lady of Fatima who prevented World War III – the Our Lady of Fatima Speech in front of the White House June 1978. I am not given credit for that – probably after I die. She ended Communism. I give all the details on my Kellie site.  Now I must move on with what I explained, recognition or not. My reward is in Heaven, bottom line. I had to claw my way to the top from this pit explainineg how I got female bb started – then it finally got recognized as reality – real history. No one did it for me – no one stood up for me – only scorned me. I had to fight all by myself with the help of one friend {Pete}. That’s life. This is a testing ground, not a paradise, this is not heaveny, it’s travail. What I need now is you or someone like you – bona fide historians, not sock puppets of the Weider/Arnold monoply – to simply give me credit & explain why – case closed. That is all. For me to physically endure what I did before no longer seems feasible – the travel, the carrying my own suitcases, the stress. Body can’t take it.

His earlier letter – 8-23-25

Hi Rasa

I have an even better idea.

I  could speak to the president of the Mr America competition and have you come as a special guest. I think you deserve the recognition and I am going to ask him to present you with an award, the first Ms America hall of fame. If you like, you can also be a guest speaker and talk about the evolution of women’s bodybuilding. I  could even interview you on a live stage.  The show is broadcast nationally so you would get huge exposure. 

Let me know what you think. 

It’s only 7 weeks away.

Best regards Carlos