College of the Gender War, Core Tenets

Harry’s Life & Family

                Harry Hareston’s Family & Their Lifestyle

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                The Hareston family lived in Greenwich, Ct, – but don’t get excited, their home was not a mansion or estate. They lived in the beautiful but relatively humble guest house or ‘gardener’s place’ behind the Big House.

Part 2 of (4) – Harry Hareston  from the forthcoming novel by Rasa Von Werder: “Church of Women” copyrighted Rasa Von Werder, all rights reserved

And Maude Hareston was not an ‘elegant, refined snob’ like the Lady of the Manor but a housekeeper/maid who was on call 24/7, six days a week.

        She begged off for Sunday as she was religious & wanted to spend the day with the Lord, Church, prayer & meditation. But they insisted that if they had an emergency, like one of the kids got sick, she had to help, & of course she agreed.

      Maude worked hard. On record, her job was supposed to be eight hours a day but in reality she ended up working, most days, twelve hours a day. It wasn’t a hardship on her family as Harry Sr was also on call all week & gone except for meals & sleep, while the kids were either in school, playing sports or hanging with friends. She took care of her own family & the rich Narthers – a formidable task but she was strong as an ox & determined.

        And what did she get for her efforts? It started in the 60’s when she was granted $250 a month. Sounds awful today but in 1965 this was for 2022 $2,309 a month & $27,708 a year. They got this lovely home to live in free {all utilities paid} & lots of perks. The perks were, for one thing, so much food from the house they scarcely had to buy groceries. Maude was the 2nd in Command cook, Mr. Franz was hired three days a week for the dinners, Maude was ‘Sous Chef’.

        Maude’s duties were as follows: Make the Master’s beds {they had adjoining rooms}every day, hang up their clothes, dust & vacuum. Do all the food shopping daily, groceries & bakery. Any other basic items Boss Lady needed that day were purchased by her –Nancy Narther was busy with charity work, health spa & special purchases for the house, family & herself.

        Second, she was responsible for the breakfast & lunch every day & on the days Chef Franz was there. Everyone ate breakfast. It was eggs, potatoes & pancakes, & sometimes the kids, when they were young, wanted corn flakes or oats with milk & bananas or strawberries. Lunch was sparse as the kids were in school, the Boss was at work & Nancy was on a diet or out. On weekends they were there for most meals, especially dinner, always breakfast, sometimes lunch. Dinner was formal, Maude made it: Meat {chicken, steak or prime rib, fish} & potatoes {baked, boiled or mashed} or rice or pasta, vegetables, various salads like Cesar Salad with anchovies & raw egg yolks, or Waldorf Salad (Romaine, walnuts, apples) or American Salad with tomatoes; always cake, pie or other desserts as the kids demanded it, the adults passed. {Rich people don’t get fat, their motto being, “You can’t be too thin or too rich.”}

        When Mr. Franz was there Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday {he worked at a posh French bistro he owned Friday & Saturday, – his wife, also a French Chef, cooked the other days} he only made the dinner, for which he was paid $300 the month {this figures from 1965 to 2022 – $2771 per month for 12 days work, $33,252 a year – $231 per day he worked…his day also was not the full eight hours but five or six at the most} – way more than Maude but then, French Chefs don’t come cheap. He also prepared the parties or special meals they had – even his wife participated in some of these. They had dignitaries, politicians & tycoons at the table. At these times Maude helped & as usual did the ‘dirty work’ of washing, slicing, grating, prepping & then cleaned the kitchen & washed the dishes & pots & pans. She never complained. Mr & Mrs Franz treated her like an underling & she called them ‘Sir’ & ‘Ma’am’ just like she did all the others on top.

        Also Mr. Franz made double the portions needed at each service, the second half being housed in their huge freezers, which were utilized by Mrs. Nather for Sundays, when Maude was off. Or else Maude, at their request would sometimes take out these dinners for weekends instead of the usual American fare. {Mrs Nather knew how to cook, just didn’t want to – unless you love it, it can be drudgery.}

        When meals were finished Maude hit her bonanzas as she got all the leftovers she wanted – good stuff. Kids would take one bite from a croissant, leave the rest. Half a piece of cake, leave the rest. She could take these home, cut off the bitten piece & throw it to the birds & the rest was good. And a big salad, sometimes half was left behind. They didn’t want it on the table again, she could have it. Same with soup. Soup left over she could have. They rarely ate leftovers – usually on Sunday when no help was there. Then they only ate bread that was no more than two days old – past that time she could have it. She never stole or took anything not allowed her – she was as honest as a saint – {that’s why the owners trusted her} but with these handouts she saved half the money she would have for food.

        This is a typical esoteric meal Mr. Franz would make:

 

        *Leek and potato soup

        *Grated beet salad {grated, boiled beets tossed with garlic, seasoning & wine, oil & vinegar – cooled. Then tossed with salad greens & endive}

        *sautéed mushrooms: sautéed in butter, add tbs of chopped shallots

        *Deviled game hens: ‘butterfly’ & broil hens, make a mayonnaise-like sauce, 1/3 cup mustard, minced shallot, pinches of dried tarragon or rosemary, drops of Tabasco sauce & 3 tbsp pan seasonings. Paint this on skin of hens, pat on a layer of white bread crumbs. Baste with remaining juices. Finish cooking in broiler.

        *Caramel Custard for dessert

 

          The most important aspect of Maude’s presence to the Nather family was care of their children, especially when they were small. Maude was reliable in all ways & good for emergencies, like when the kids got hurt. She knew how to tend a wound properly & bandage it, she knew how to bind up a sprain, & she would keep the children as safe as possible. At the time we are speaking of now, the kids went from 15, the female, to 18 & 20 for the boys – they didn’t need baby sitting but they sometimes needed help.

 

          What did Harry Sr. think of all this? He hated it. He looked at the Big House with sad envy. He was ashamed his wife was their maid – he never told anyone. When he had to, he called her ‘housekeeper’ which was fairly accurate.

        Being a ‘servant’ gave him bad memories of his childhood. His own Dad had been a truck driver, never graduating to a higher place. {His Mom was a waitress at a diner.}

        Harry got a job as a janitor at the plant after school. He saw how his Dad was treated. When he went into the office, the Boss didn’t even raise his head to acknowledge

him, spoke to him looking at the desk, like he was irrelevant. When they passed each other in the plant Boss Man didn’t say hello, just acted like he was invisible – a typical trait of those who think they are above someone.

        Harry was hurt. And although Dad never said anything about this, Harry noticed that when he came home from work at the plant he was grumpy & not only that, but cruel. He’d criticize Harry for the slightest things, yelling,

“Haven’t you learned anything about being a janitor? Clean this place up!”

Harry suffered & wished for kindness, but instead of being sensitive to his own son, he became just like his Dad. He infested his son with the same insecurity & low self esteem.

His ambition to lift their station in life rested on his kids. He put Helen in that posh girl’s school at twelve, & he began to work on Harry age 16. Harry would never be the same. He worked hard as a Caddy at the Country Club, he & sis both took tennis lessons & practiced a lot because the Nathers had a tennis court, & two sons that liked to play.

One of the sons, Jonathan, in time, developed a crush on Helen. He was twenty – Helen seventeen when it started, all on the tennis court.

He imagined he had a chance. His Mom had said he was handsome, people were nice to him but that’s because he was rich. Personally, he was not good looking, in fact, goofy. He had reddish hair, freckles & buck teeth. He was tall & gangly, not much muscle or sex appeal. His tennis was average, his golf worse, not like Harry Jr who excelled at all sports.

But Helen had turned into a Gene Tierney, even better some said. She was 5’8” with a perfect figure, 34-24-36. She carried herself well, spoke with polish, laughed easily & radiated charm, played great tennis & danced gracefully. She was all things to all men, a centerpiece.

During the hottest days of summer the Nather boys invited her & Harry to their pool, & then invited their friends for a party. Pizza & ice cream were served. Here Jonathan reveled in Helen’s beauty & all the guys stealing glances at her, while the other females felt envy & gossiped about her in a catty fashion,

“Oh, look at her putting on airs. Her Dad is the chauffer & her Mom is the maid, haha! Shell never be anybody.”

But oh, how wrong they were.

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One day Jonathan decided to make a serious pass at Helen, in fact, his imagination was so strong that because Helen was nice to him, he thought she had feelings. He took her to the side by a bench she was on & said,

“Helen, I am mad abut you. How’s the two of us dating & maybe getting engaged?”

She was taken aback but her composure & rebound was quick,

“Well, John, I must confess. I am already spoken for to another. We haven’t made an announcement yet.”

She was lying, but it was the only retort that would work. Anything else, like,

“Let’s just be friends,”

would have been, to him, an insult. Can’t insult the employer of your Mom.

Downhearted, he walked away & pretended to be happy but he was as sullen as could be inside.

Strangely enough, this statement of hers was soon to come true.

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College of the Gender War, Core Tenets

NOVEL: HARRY HARESTON

                Novel – 4 – Harry Hareston

 

For the forthcoming novel “Church of Women”    3-29-23

 

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          Harry Hareston led an interesting life. He will be featured strongly in a chapter that describes the ordeal little Stevie went through with three men. These men were supposed to teach him ‘masculine traits’, as described by a fake Member of the Community who would later be ousted – a female named Cassandra Cunningham. Two of the men that were to be his ‘examples’ were tycoons. Harry was the third man, rich but no tycoon, & not ‘to the manor born,’ – the other guys viewed him as a servant although he had good qualities to recommend him, an impressive background & was their body guard.

          Harry’s parents were sort of opposites. His Mom Maude had started out as a beautiful girl, but as the years rolled on she gained weight, her eyes got bad from being a book worm so thick glasses did not add to her appeal. She was happy with her married life & two children, Harry & Helen & her religious life was basic to her, she practiced it assiduously, going to Church & praying the rosary EVERY DAY. She’d speak of God a lot to the children – not to Harry Sr. as he wasn’t interested – read to them from the Children’s Bible from an early age – had them go to Catechism, Holy Communion & Mass every Sunday. She felt she was leading the perfect life & never complained.

          But Harry Sr. was a chauffer with a plan – & that was to become a respected member of the elite community. It was far fetched but his hopes were strong. He started out as a truck driver for a large company & was so good at all he did – driving, repairing, managing & reliability, that the owner of the company appointed him Chief of the truck pool & for a while he worked a lot at a desk.

          After a couple years he was awarded a different job – personal chauffer to the owner with his Rolls Royce & other cars, & this carried privileges. Here the designs of Harry Sr. looked like they could be fulfilled, as he now rubbed shoulders with elites, going to all the affairs the Boss went to, sometimes even being invited to their gatherings or shindigs not necessarily as an equal, but as another man they respected, & he got to know the ways of the ‘elites’, how they think, how they talk, act, dress & so on. This went on for many years & when he heard the guys speaking of certain stocks he put his relatively meager savings into them & made some pretty good profits.

          He also got perks like being friendly with some of the guys, – who he’d go get from bars when they were drinking to drive them home – or from their mistresses, same thing, & some of the guys gave him designer clothing like super expensive jackets they didn’t need any more or tuxedoes when they had gained weight & no longer fit. But the big perk was the cars.

          Super rich guys would buy new cars constantly & sell their old ones. This way he got to own three luxury cars instead of one – the guys would sell these cars much cheaper to him, in part to insure he’d keep his mouth shut about the drunken times, mistresses & ‘whores.’ He got a white Cadillac, a red Corvette & a frost-violet Lamborghini Diablo which the dealer called ‘purple’. Yes, they were all at least ten years old, but people didn’t know how long he’d had them.

          Harry Sr. felt his children would be tickets to the life of luxury. If he set them up with society – he had the connections – they would marry “well”, gain all the perks including money – & some of this would include him & his wife. His mind was on this constantly as he watched them grow up & they were extremely good looking – taking after him & his wife when she was young. And with their looks, he thought, & his connections, how could they fail? Time would prove him right.

          But he had to begin training the kids to prepare them for the ‘high life.’ And so he found an exclusive, very posh school for Helen, which she entered at twelve. This would change her ways forever as the girls were not religious & laughed at her devotion. This dampened her ardor for God as she was no saint, just doing what her Mom taught her, so she stopped some of the things that gave her away as ‘religious fanatic.’ She adopted the ways of the other girls – which is what Dad wanted – affecting a sort of aloof, disdainful attitude of privilege, not taking anything seriously, not giving away her soft emotions. She learned how to sit, eat, dress, talk & gossip like the other girls – it would serve her well.

          Now Harry Jr. was an excellent sportsman from the time of childhood, well developed, tall, with dark curly hair, beautifully shaped lips, grey-green eyes with soft thick eyebrows, a perfectly even & harmonious face – a chip off the old block.

Harry Sr was never nice to Jr, he picked on him from the beginning, thinking the more he corrected the boy the quicker he’d become ‘a man.’ But he was cruel.

          Little Harry’s job was the wash the cars from the age of ten – all four of them, including the Rolls Royce which was parked at their house as the owner didn’t drive it.

          When he washed the Caddy – which was the car Mom preferred & drove – she always praised & thanked him.

          But when he washed Dad’s cars he’d keep yelling at him to hurry up & would find something wrong with each job – like the spokes on the wheels were not polished enough, the inside was not perfect, all the soap was not rinsed off. He’d say things like,

          “Can’t you do anything right? Even a moron can wash a car so you’re less than a moron.”

          One day when Harry was washing the Rolls {all the cars had to be washed every other day & spruced up inside, especially the Rolls} – Sr got a call from the boss to pick him up right now. This put Dad on edge, as he was known for his punctuality & reliability.

          He went out & seeing the boy wasn’t finished, he grabbed him & pushed him so hard he fell on the lawn, Dad calling him ‘idiot’, quickly took the power wash, finished the job & sped off.

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          When Jr got less than a B on any subject He’d say,

          “Why a C here? This is easy stuff. What’s the matter with you?”

         

 

 

Harry was a terrific sportsman & chosen co-captain of the High School football team. He was now sixteen. His Dad’s response was,

“So you couldn’t even make Captain? You had to share the spotlight with another guy?”

He didn’t praise him for all the A’s & B’s he got, just picked on him for less than that. Maude did damage control, took the poor boy aside & spoke to him gently,

          “Your Dad doesn’t mean to be like that. He’s under pressure. The guys he works for are pushing him all the time, they intimidate him & he’s afraid to let them down. But he really loves you.

          I appreciate all the good that you do.”

          And she would hug her son tenderly.

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          Junior was afraid to say the rosary with Mom any more as Dad would give them dirty looks, saying,

          “Can’t the boy do something more constructive? The rosary won’t help him get by in life – he needs to work on getting ahead….I’m going to get him a job as a golf Caddy, then he won’t have so much time to waste.”

          When he ranted like this Mom would hush the boy not to answer. She tolerated Dad as that’s all she could do, she made excuses for him with her mind as she knew he was ambitious & this need was driving him crazy. Success was his God, he’d get there any way he could & time was of the essence. He intended to be rich, set for the good life, by the time he was fifty, 60 at the absolute latest, & he was now 45.

And so he set off, that next day, to talk to the owner of the local Golf Course to give his boy a job, which he got easily, as they were friends, & on his way home he drove by a park.

          There he sees his son playing basketball with two black guys & one white. He drives toward some thick pine trees where he parks the Rolls, not wanting the guys to see it, gets out & stands where Harry can see him by a black iron gate. When Harry notices Dad standing there he’s summoned.

          Then Dad says accusingly,

          “What are you doing?”

          The boy is puzzled,

          “Playing basketball.”

          “Basketball is a nigger game! It’ll never get you anywhere. I just got you a job as a golf Caddy, you start tomorrow. And I’ll buy you tennis lessons. The class people play tennis.”

          He tells him to get in the car. But the boy protests,

          “I have to get the ball – it’s mine.”

          “Forget the ball – you won’t need it. Let it be a parting gift to them as they won’t see you any more.”

          Jr almost gets tears in his eyes – he can’t even say good bye to his friends.

          By now the other guys have made it to the gate, carrying his ball, & they spot the Rolls with astonishment.

But Father & son are already in the car & when Dad sees the other guys, he speeds off.

          They look at Jr sadly, one saying,

         

“I don’t think he’s coming back.”

          They had some idea what was going on – two worlds, the world of poverty & the world of the rich, & never the twain shall meet.

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College of God & Love

Guardian Angels Answer Prayer

         My Guardian Angels – Prayers answered re Tiny Teenee

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First dream I am typing since my severe eyestrain started in Dec.     3-28-23 

 

Prayed last night re Tiny Teenee, that I could see him or her in my dream, hold him, pet him, let him know I love him & also Teenee Wienie, who was almost as small as Tiny – cats that I left on a farm when there were too many cats. I was told Tiny died of starvation after 3 weeks & Teene I was not told about, but I assume many of the cats did die, some were pregnant, I could not harbor them any more. When you have a passel of cats they multiply quickly. But the situation with Tiny was a mistake I could not rectify. I meant to keep him & thought I was putting Teenie into the cat cage – but it was Tiny. I did not have the guts to go back & look for him at the farm & I have grieved intensely for 2 years over this.

I even confessed this & other sins to Padre Pio & was forgiven, but I still grieved somewhat. Decided to have communication of love with these creatures would heal my grief.

In the last days I prayed specifically to my Guardian Angels about facing the upstairs chaos of the plaster falling down from the ceiling in two places, even in one closet falling on clothing & soiling all of it. This was so daunting to face I could not do it for weeks. Finally I prayed to my Guardian Angels to give me the courage & they told me the reason I couldn’t face it was because I kept thinking about it & imagining all the negatives that would occur. I had to stop thinking, put on the rubber gloves & take my tolls & just go up there & start, which I finally did.

And when I started I got the worst part of it done in 3.5 hours. It’ll take another hour to finish this & maybe 2 more to finish the ‘moved out of the apt’ chaos up there. Then I will ask the GA to help me tackle the rest of the house that remains in chaos, the attic, spare room & cellar.

However, I did NOT pray specifically to the GA’s to help me contact the kitties, but in this dream, you will see they were the ones that helped. And I am deeply gratified & amazed at how they appeared! I rarely see my GA’s in any form!

Dream:

I am some place traveling & stopping in an apt of sorts for rest. There are two small girls with me traveling. I’m trying to entertain them somehow but it’s not easy – not sure why. But we do walk at the edge of a woods & in a park I vaguely see, then we return to the apt & await our next outing. I am on tenderhooks trying to entertain these two.

Then I myself need consolation, & the husband of a lady I know comes into the place. I have always wanted to get close to him & today he does come near, & even rests on my body as I’m lying on a bed in the middle of the living room, & I breathe deeply because it feels so good. He’s wearing a knitted grey sweater & a knitted cap.

What I don’t like is he tried to put his finger into my vagina & he misses & keeps putting it on my anus, – I move his hand. I don’t really want him to do this but he says something about it why it would be good. For him maybe, not me.

        I then look under the covers & see his penis & it looks like a dark, small sausage. This part of him doesn’t turn me on, in fact, he isn’t really ‘for me’ as he is of a lower echelon like ghetto type or maybe working class – he isn’t refined enough for me.

I am not happy when my daughter enters the room! Have no idea how she found me, but she did, & here I am on this bed with this guy on top of me!

So I see the guy leave, I’m looking at him on the other side of the glass wall, he’s leaving sadly that he could not consummate our relationship, & there’s blue on his clothing, but I don’t care – it wasn’t meant to be. I want to attend do the children, daughter & cats here – all three elements are present.

There were two cats here that I love, a white one that remains through all the activity, & a black one like the one I have here, Blackie, who hid during the activity, & now she comes out when the man left. She’s timid. And her name is MARY so if this is Tiny, she was female.

I then look at my daughter & say to her,

 

“How on earth did you ever find me?”

 

She was far, far away, & had no knowledge of where I am, but here she is! And behind her I see three men, mature men, like working class cowboys, all three have small-growth beards & remind me of some kind of rural gangsters, almost lowlifes you might say – they are all full-bodied, not fat, but not thin. One is sitting lower, the others very near maybe on table tops or something.

I ask my daughter if these guys came with her & she says,

 

“I don’t even know these guys”

and they disappear.

Later I’ll see my daughter looking like she’s playing a role on stage – which she is – as a singer – & she is imitating Jane Fonda, with wisps of grey silver hair framing her face, partially covering it.

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OK now we all have to go out & there are two men here. They are all POOR.

And so, when we appear at the Waldorf Astoria, one of its restaurants, I am baffled. I ask them,

“Do you come here often?”

And they say yes, it’s a regular spot of theirs. The surroundings are luxurious.

Who is sitting here with us? The two men, one bigger, one smaller, my daughter & myself & I vaguely sense others but can’t even tell who they are. Maybe those two girls I mentioned in the beginning.

My daughter is looking at me plaintively because people are criticizing her for her performance. She’ll have to go on stage soon, we can hear the singing, the play has already begun & we must go as she’ll be on soon.

I tell her that whatever she does she is great; I affirm it ahead of time even before I see her perform. I just give her a complete blanket of approval & disdain anyone who criticizes her.

We all get up & stand in line in the room where the cashier is & are told to move up toward her. We do so &

 

the second man, the smaller one, to my surprise goes up to pay. He opens a wallet & there’s a white card & he pays with it, but then looks to us to each pay our share, giving the bread ot him. I quickly open my wallet.

The price for the dinner for all of us is $290.

I plan to give the majority of the bread, like $200, as I have the most money – as I said – they are all poor, & this little man was the poorest, that’s why I was shocked to see him step up to pay.

And I believe we will now go to the play my daughter is performing in.

………………………………………………….

 

Meaning:

My daughter I believe is Tiny Teenie, & the three men behind her are my GUARDIAN ANGELS who I’ve been thinking about lately, they came through! And I have also been listening to Fr. Chris Alar on angels & other subjects – this might have stimulated my faith in them.

 

I was under the impression Tiny was male but this shows under several forms, it’s a female, & her name is MARY. She appears under the form of the black cat because the black cat is very close to me, sleeps with me every night & loves me deeply & I her. And this is proven to me by her timidness as Tiny was the smallest & intimidated by the rough play of the bigger kittens, & would hobble over to her ‘safe spot’ near the entrance to my then-bedroom, by some soft blankets. One of her legs seemed shorted than the other, she was slightly

 

handicapped & so I say ‘hobble.’ She tried so hard to keep up with the bigger kitties.

I think these two kittens appear under the heading of the two girls I tried to entertain, Tiny is then my daughter, & they are the black & white cat. Why so many symbols?

Symbols are God trying to explain to me the principles & what is going on here, that Tiny & Teenie are my children & my pets. Tiny is especially dear as she appears as DAUGHTER she is trying to win my approval & love, which I give mightily. The grey hair over her is her SUFFERING which she endured after I had her accidentally left at the farm {by another person.} Her having to perform is what? The state of her pain in that she has to prove herself or please the audience, & FEELS REJECTED as I am certain she felt when starving to death.

 

It is fascinating that my three Guardian Angels are here & they have obviously BROUGHT TINY TO ME. Out there is cyberspace or Infinite Space, it is not easy to find any one person, like Souls in Purgatory or Heaven. It takes supernatural grace. And so, the Guardian Angels have provided this grace – Tiny says she doesn’t even know them, & they disappear.

But WHY do they appear as they do? I was not comfortable with these guys, almost like they were gangsters, like ‘Hell’s angels’ or something.

It seems notable that most of the people around you, in this dream, are poor & working class, not posh, rich or powerful. It could be these are all who NEED YOUR LOVE. The man you don’t really want could be a local

 

man who desires you, but he belongs to someone else you feel, even though she’s only a girl friend. You LIKE him but don’t want to get SERIOUS. He wants you more than you him, so he goes away sad. You aren’t into sex right now.

        Why is Tiny called Mary? Probably just to show you it’s female – Mary is the favorite name for you.

        The Waldorf Astoria is a posh place of NOURISHMENT. Nourishment can be many tings, but primarily this is not physical, but EMOTIONAL – SPIRITUAL nourishment. You wanted to show Tiny or Mary YOUR LOVE & this is the opportunity. She asks you for SUPPORT & you give her a BLANKET APPROVAL without her having to show you or prove anything to you – it’s even BEFORE you see her performance.

        Why does she resemble or imitate Jane Fonda in this play? Maybe because Jane Fonda is eternal – or because she is still trying to prove herself even after being a star all her life. After all, if we are still performing at age 88, we seek applause or approval. Born in 1935, she is still looking good & performing. Tiny was just a youngster, but she went through a lot, she was martyr. She seeks your love & you grant it. This is what you prayed for!

        Lining up to pay. All of you at this table of the Waldorf Astoria had a meal or nourishment, even though you don’t physically see it. These others here tell you they are regulars. Could this be the Eucharist which you celebrate every day? And these two mysterious men, who are they?

       

The smallest man is the poorest & he steps up right away.

       There is A PRICE TO PAY. You will all contribute, you willing to pay the Lion’s share. This could be your pain/grief at what you did to Tiny & also your daily prayers & Holy Mass.

        Remember, this event is PRIVILEDGE bought at a price of suffering – you prayed for a gift, you got it, but there is a price tag. And others are participating in the joy of this but also the pain.

        But if the two men are contributing, they can’t be Souls in Purgatory, as these cannot gain merit, they can only suffer, but the suffering does not GAIN MERIT. So let’s think the bigger man might be Nick, your spiritual husband, who is attached to you. And the smaller man {bigger is more important, smaller less important} might be the guy who is interested in you but you are letting him down – his pain could be a contribution. {When you are at the bar together, he pays for your beers, but you did not call him last week or this week so far.}

        So you received this great grace of meeting with Tiny Teenie & Teenie Weinee & showing your love but it cost you & some of your associates & even poor little kitties paid. But this dream shows you suffered more than anyone – paying the most in other words.

        But I still can’t understand why my Guardian Angels appear so unattractive as far as characters. They are like tough macho men, almost gangsters, like country ruffians. Why? Obvious symbolic of something. Angels are Spirits, messengers of God. What are they saying? Maybe it was the brutality of sorts required to take all my cats to the farms – which I did several different times {it is impossible

 

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to harbor un neutered cats}. It took a terrible brand of turning off my feelings to do this. As much as I loved them, for example, I had allowed a random cat to move into my house in the middle of winter. She had a litter of kittens & I took care of them. But within months they grew up & four of them were pregnant. This is DISASTER. Come what may, I had to remove them from my premises, at their great peril. There was a time once when forty cats collected near my property because I fed them

        It is heartbreaking & I swear each time I will never allow it to happen again. So many times I broke their hearts & my own – never again, & Tiny Teenie was the worst, for which I’ve been grieving for three years, & Teenie Weinee also stood out as a terrible heartbreaker.

        And so, the GA’s could be representing that state of heart I had to put myself in when I left them at the farms, on their own, with a partial chance of survival.

 

 

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Core Tenets

New Honor

New DooWop Mix 4 Rasa

     His name is DJ Tony Torres

 Friends, just awoke to find this honor made for me:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaOMfhu35w0&t=1433s

So please take a look & tank the DJ for producing it!  He’s grateful for the kudos.  DooWop brings back bittersweet memories of my childhood

                My stage name was Kellie Everts, now Rasa Von Werder

  Some pics for your pleasure:

 

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