Marilyn Monroe & Me

By Rasa Von Werder, June 28th, 2021
Marilyn-Mon-Amour.

Chapter 11   Marilyn Monroe, Andre de Dienes & Me

 

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          I’ve had this book in my possession for a while, never finished reading it. But a short time ago I met a fan of MM & promised to show her the book, so I looked at it again. I was basically ignoring Mr de Dienes, just said in my writings ‘He took me to CA” – but after seeing what he said about Marilyn & realizing there was a parallel between his taking her on the road & taking me – {she was with him 5 weeks, I endured 3.} I could read between the lines, he admitted being a pig {sex maniac he called it, sounds better than pervert/pig}, his mind only on sex, telling dirty stories; he says he felt rage at her having him ‘at his beck & call’ but not putting out {he was the same with me, only I will explain why he was meaner to me} – {except once in an unfortunate snowstorm where the hotel had only one room with a double bed, they had to share it & she gave in, maybe spent a second day there, mostly in the room. So he hit it twice I suppose, but it seems she never put out again, & he calls this their HONEYMOON! – Wishful thinking, fantasies & delusions gone mad.}

 

          This book is an outrage & I will set the record straight – will describe my time with him & channel {mind read} both him & Marilyn. I know Marilyn is in Heaven, he’s probably there but I think in a dim place like my Mom & bro.

        

 

          The book is ‘Marilyn Mon Amour’ & what I want to counter is the false impressions he gave of himself – I will tell what he really was like – & his image of Marilyn upon first seeing her – which he colors in hyperbole & later puts her down {“her success was a sham”.}

 

The pics he took in 1945 show a pretty girl with a nice figure, not yet groomed, not a star – the Marilyn people adore did not exist at age 19. These images did not lead her to a movie career. In the first ones her hair is unfortunate, she looks attractive, maybe cute, maybe pretty, some are beautiful.   As the years go by her look changes due to the movie studios; the makeup artists, studio hair dressers, costume designers, took her potential & made her a gorgeous glamour doll.

 

She was not ‘stunning’ at 19, just a simple lovely girl, Andre describes his first sight of her like the Heavens opened, it was a supernatural event, she was a Divine entity & he knows she’s going to be a star {while at the same time plotting how to get her to take nudes, have sex with him, & then live in matrimonial slavery, for him & him alone, having endless pictures taken…..You believe he had her best interests at heart, I’ll sell you a bridge.}

 

Let me channel him while I’m at it {channeling is mind reading}.   ME: Andre, tell me honestly what your first sighting of Marilyn meant to you.

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ANDRE: {His new name is the PIED PIPER, so hereafter I shall call him PP {like urine, haha} – Pied Piper because he does something for you, & if he doesn’t get his pound of flesh, he takes revenge. He says:

 

My first sighting of her was her innocence. She looked green, docile – no Heavens were opened, she looked like a sweet young girl, maybe 17, & my thoughts were how I could get to her, make her do what I wanted, & she seemed like a fine candidate.

 

ME:   Candidate for what?

 

PP:   Like I told you again & again {prior to this moment} – I was an ORDINARY MAN & being ordinary I lived for myself, my flesh, not my spirit. I was out to get what I wanted, which in this case was mostly sex. My mind was not on business or what I would do with these images, it was how I could get her into bed from the get go – & these were my thoughts with any innocent, young female I would go on a trip with – how I could get sex & how soon?

 

ME:   OK, understood, I suspected as much & any human in their right mind would. What about me? Were those your exact intentions? I was 16, a month from my 17th birthday, 1961. You had seen the last of Marilyn in June, 1961 – perhaps it was before you took me from New York to CA, as that was June 1961, or maybe you saw her when we got to CA, not telling me.

 

PP:   As you know, the very first night, I tried it with you & you were going to let me, but being an old man, I lost my hardon & couldn’t get it back. After that you said no, so I was pissed.

 

ME:   You rave about how beautiful, wonderful, vivacious Marilyn was. Were you exaggerating, wishful thinking because you wanted her so badly & it took a while getting there? How did I compare to her looks wise, as you did photograph me later, & you saw me nude from the get-go. And of course, throughout our sojourn, after I said no, you criticized me calling me ‘too skinny.’   Your first reaction of me was you would get me into Playboy as a Hawaiian girl {obviously you saw I was exotic, having Mongolian blood} but you never gave that idea a start.

 

PP:   Looks wise, you were as good as Marilyn, in fact, your body was better. But your personality was not docile. She gave an aura of femininity & was careful to in a way, to lead me on. She was extremely diplomatic as she knew all men want to bed young ladies – you all know – & she didn’t want to hurt my feelings, she wanted to get the work done. She wasn’t sure if she could hold me off until the end, – as it turned out – it was impossible, & she went through the ordeal & cried. Yes, now that I’m dead I admit the truth. That’s why she had tears in her eyes as I described.

 

You were tougher, stronger than Marilyn. You resisted at your peril. You found me repulsive, as she also did. By the time I got to you I was worse than I was before, & my personality toward you was vile.

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ME:   So many questions here. (1) How was my body better than hers, & after that, why did you keep saying I was ‘too skinny?’ {BTW, I did not believe you; I felt it was ‘sour grapes.’} And (2) how did I show I was tough & strong?

 

PP:   You were not docile like her, she was submissive; she would give the impression I was in charge, I was superior. She tolerated all my dirty stories, as you did, & she laughed. Maybe you didn’t laugh as much, you hated them, you didn’t hide it as well. She listened to me attentively & I was flattered, thinking she wanted to learn from me, that I impressed her, but nothing I said impressed you, you did not think much of me, & for good reason.

 

 

ME:   In your book, you give the impression that you had some sort of cultural/intellectual knowledge. I saw none of that. I was probably, at age 16, more learned & cultured than you – as I had been reading great literature since age 9 – I had listened to opera, classical music, from my Mother’s womb, I had studied ballet & adored it. I knew many operas, ballets, classical pieces, great books. I had been exposed to such things from infancy, & I also was exposed to religion & was close to God – you weren’t.

 

Your only interest in art I recall was monetary. You bragged how you got a painting {for free} out of a man named Kooning {William de Kooning I think} & how much money you could sell it for some day. Did you really believe Marilyn was trying to learn from you?

 

PP:   No, she wasn’t, but I liked to think she did. We Europeans on the average know more about culture than the average American, so I held this up over her head to try & get her to admire me. It was all delusional on my part, but it buoyed up my ego.

 

ME:   Had Marilyn my personality & resisted & rejected you for sex, what would you have done?

 

PP:   I would have ignored her after the journey, let’s say, if on that fateful day there was one room-one bed, prisoners of the snow, & she refused sex, that would have been the end. I would have known all bets were off, I would have maybe taken her back to her Aunt, & after that, ignored her.

 

ME:   And yet you claim how you loved her, you wrote her a preposterous love letter telling her love was all that mattered {this is repeated in your book} {before she gave in to sex} & you would always love her, a stupid, silly, mushy bullcrap letter – desperate man. So did you ever love her?

 

PP:   You can tell by evidence of how a person acts if they truly love or not. I was not capable of love, God’s love or a parental nurturing love, I only cared for my own penis. I wanted her, lusted after her; she was young & docile & pretty. I wanted to possess her & use her; I didn’t care what she wanted. If I had truly loved her, I would have sat down with her, after she told me she didn’t want to get married wanted to be in the movies – & produced a plan. The plan would consist of how I could help her, through my photography & contacts, to make her a star. But I didn’t care. When she said she wanted to be in the movies it seemed a long shot, I figured she wouldn’t get there. So why would I knock myself out to help when it was improbable, & if it happened, she would leave my clutches & be a star – a woman who could get anyone she wanted. What chance would I have? I was a nobody, not rich or famous, only known in the world of photography, no VIP to the Hollywood crowd. But I did have contacts, indeed, many, I could have helped her. And I could have given her cash. She told me she was having trouble making ends meet. I suggested her getting a studio apt in Santa Monica, she did. But I did not provide any money – & I did sell her images at a profit to obscure people like ANSCO {?} or magazines the Hollywood set never saw. I made money off her but didn’t share it, I was greedy & selfish. You saw what I was like, a nothing of a man; half a man.

 

ME:   And I might add the irony of it all, that you are famous only in the light of having been with her – in the Wikipedia that is the major content of your story – when you took her on trips, saw her, photographed her, the most famous glamour doll in our society. And all the while you were pretending you could help her – she helped you. You stand in her shadow, & you even had the nerve, if you said it, not your writer, that her success was a sham! You made it seems to me, most of your living off catalogs like Montgomery Ward. You photographed a number of celebrities. I imagine the studio or magazines paid you for shots. You might have been suitable for outdoor work or action images, rather than the studied theatrical portraits. I don’t think you ever did those. You could not have made your living off that – that would be icing on a cake, but the cake itself was just hard, mundane work of catalogs. And I know the American Indians did not pay you to document them. Am I getting this right?

 

          PP:   Indeed, I made money mostly off hard, mundane work like catalogs or routine stuff for magazines. The glamour was few & far between. I had to struggle to keep afloat & there were many obstacles like my house being damaged in a landslide, much of my photos destroyed, & then in a fit of depression I buried Marilyn’s nudes in my soggy back yard, tried to retrieve them later on but most were gone.

 

          ME:   I know you stated you originally told Ms Snively {Blue Book modeling agency – I spoke with her when I was about 17 – she also told me she ‘got Marilyn Monroe started’ – haha to that} you sought someone willing to take nudes, you were scheming to introduce that idea to Marilyn but got thwarted some times – but you told me in person that you did have nudes, & she came to your door one day & pleaded for you to destroy them as she just had a scandal with Tom Kelly’s images of her in Playboy. You said you buried them because of that. So where are the nudes? I’ve not seen any anywhere.

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          PP:   If there had been any nudes I’m sure you would have seen them somewhere, sometimes. I mean nudes of Marilyn Monroe would be priceless. In my book I say I dug them up, & I told you in person I did. But they were ruined. If they were even half ruined, someone could have published them, but they were completely ruined – to the point you could not recognize the subject was Marilyn.

 

          ME:   OK, some last questions. You said my body was better than hers – how was that?

 

          PP:   Your skeleton & the way your limbs were shaped & your fitness. Marilyn was soft compared to you, & less shapely. You had better legs, arms & shoulders. Her greatest feature was the sway of her back & how it curved into her rear end. You had that & more.

 

          Why did I keep calling you skinny & disparaging you? Because I was angry. I told you how I got angry at Marilyn when she had not put out – I was not a good sport, just an ordinary man who wanted revenge when he didn’t get his needs met.

 

          ME:   And when you left me on the street with the modeling fee you paid me – nothing more – $60, knowing I had no friends, relatives or contacts, that was the act of a man without conscience. Anything could have happened; I could have been rendered homeless in a short time. I doubt you would have done that to Marilyn had she not acquiesced to your demands. Was it because of Ms Snively & her Aunt that you’d be afraid to do that to her? Whereas I arrived to your ChelseaHotel at 6am in the morning – you did not get me through an agency nor did you have to meet my Dad to get permission. Is that why you were so gross in your treatment of me, as you cold not be held accountable?

 

          PP:   Indeed, with Marilyn Ms Snively could have black listed me had I done that to her, so I couldn’t get models to work for me. And Marilyn’s aunt could have called the police had I mistreated her, but with you, there was no accountability. That’s why it’s so dangerous to be young & at the mercy of men like me – we don’t care.

 

Andre Writes Some Bull Crap

 

 

          I am convinced he did not write the book – its way beyond his literary skill. He most likely gave an extended interview to a professional writer, the writer waxed profusely on the romantic angle. The description of their time of having sex is ludicrous; imagine this man, for whom English is a second language he never mastered, writing this:

 

          “The snow was falling thick & fast, the road was becoming impassable. I made out some lights shining from an old brick building which rejoiced in the grand name of Government Lodge. We were in luck, there was one room free. Only one. With a double bed. There was nowhere else to go….

 

          As soon as she showered she slipped quickly into the big bed, where I joined her. It seemed the most natural thing in the world. The night was ours.

 

          In my dreams I had explored her body; reality far surpassed my imagination. Everything she felt for me, trust, gratitude, even admiration, was fused in her surrender…..{Me: OMG are you kidding? Deluded.}….Why had we waited, hesitated, denied ourselves so long? {Me: She denied you as she didn’t want you.} Our bodies were made for each other…..I could not get enough of the silky skin, of her supple body both docile & demanding, of our shared, repeated pleasure, and suddenly, as my cheek brushed hers I realized she was crying. {Me: Hahaha, of course she was, to endure this atrocity from you, a veritable rape.}…..

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          Heaven was on our side: as we surfaced from the deep slumber that follows love-making, I saw that thick snowflakes were falling fast….We were prisoners. We spent the whole day in our room, only emerging during a bright spell to take some photos….Those blissful moments were mine alone. To let others share them would be a desecration.” {Me: Then why are you telling the world?}

 

          This man continues fooling himself for years, that she wanted him, had feelings for him, forgetting that the only reason she got into bed with him is they were prisoners due to a snowstorm & this was the only room & bed available.

 

          What Andre told me about this encounter was that she was turned on by him more than by other men because HE GAVE HER HEAD. {Licked her vagina.} I can just imagine how he did it, maybe a few seconds, they all think we get off on those 5 second licks – & yet they should consider how long it takes the poor females to suck their dicks before they come.

 

          When I spent my first night with Andre de Dienes in a motel, I had not yet had much sex – I was 16 – {he was 48} I was willing to give in because I feared if I didn’t, he’d drive me back to New York – we weren’t terribly far away yet. But unfortunately, being an old man, he lost his hardon & couldn’t get it back. And the next day when he demanded sex, I refused, & refused until he gave up. But of course, he made me pay for denying him.

 

          Now I will channel Marilyn Monroe. ME:   Marilyn, did you ever have any feelings for this man, or attraction for him, or as he said in his book, even admired him? He says you wanted to learn from him.

 

          MM:   It was the opposite of all that. First of all, I endured him. He was obnoxious, but I was patient, stoic & endured a lot. My ambition was strong, I really wanted to make it, & if this sort of thing was the price to pay, then I’ll pay it.

 

          ME:   But you held him off for a long time. He’s belly aching through the book, his schemes to get you into bed, to pose nude. Once he’s booking the rooms & asks you two rooms or one? And you politely excuse yourself due to exhaustion; you must get a good night’s sleep. You were smart with excuses, you probably had your feminine ways, as he says, but you overall seemed docile & submissive.

 

          MM:   I topped from the bottom. I gave the impression of being docile, submissive, which was to a point. I can only compare this to your life, when you got together with nasty people to get something out of them, how you endured. You wanted to learn mind over matter & hypnosis, so you put up with that Putz NutOn for a couple years, then when you couldn’t stand it any more, you left. Then you endured Rev Judy Swaggart as you wanted to learn faith healing & how to channel, she was horrible, you took all you could for six years. She used you, but you got what you wanted. Because of her, today you can channel anyone – she got you started, you worked on it, vuallah.

 

          ME: OK, so we & perhaps many people are doing the exact same thing, to get someone to do what we want, we put up with a lot of shyt. But this man tries to tell us that you loved him as he loved you. I think you only had sex with him during that snowstorm, & I suspect you might have done it again to get him to destroy all the nudes he took.

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          MM:   No, I never loved him, he repulsed me as a man. I couldn’t stand him, his personality or his demands, just exactly as you felt. I believe you got it right about the sex. It was almost non existent, but he just kept hanging on.

 

          ME:   In the books Taschen made of his images of you they said, ‘he helped launch her model career &, a few years later, a film career that was to make her a legend.’ Did he help you & how?

 

          MM:   Absolutely not. I guarantee he did nothing for my film career – absolutely nothing. He could have, but he didn’t want to. All he wanted was to tie me down as his wife, have sex with me & take pics of me for his own portfolio – he was not about me, he was about him & his desires.

 

          ME:   OK, but he hung around you until a year before your death, even though he was married twice during that time. I noticed on your Wikipedia page, he is not mentioned, dozens of people are. Like Johnny Hyde, Vice President of William Morris, who was your agent, you his mistress. So Andre’s claims are empty. Describe what exactly he was, what he was not.

 

          MM:   He was a hanger on, hoping some day I’d have sex with him again, but I never did. He explains one time where I came to him asking to take pictures, of a different sort as I usually wanted, of myself as a real person, but he begged busy-ness. Then he relented, saying he realized I needed him. And then after saying that, he goes back to the nonsense like so:

 

          “Had she come running to me hoping I would take her in my arms? Why had I been unable to understand? I should have swept all those papers off my table, kindled a blazing fire, uncorked a bottle of good wine & proceeded to love her, just lover her as if nothing else mattered & make her forget everything else.”

 

          This was so ridiculous; his mind could not function in any area but sex. He could not nurture me, meet me at my level of need, it all went back to he’d have sex with me & make me forget my troubles. His type is part of the reason I was depressed, anxious & miserable, because they saw me as sex, sex, & sex. They didn’t listen to me or serve my needs; it was always their penis, penis, & penis.

 

And I had no proper parenting, I had Attachment Disorder. Mom was mentally ill; Dad abandoned me, so I was an orphan. Yes, some of my foster parents were wonderful people, but it wasn’t the same, it wasn’t an absolute bond, I lived in many places with many people as a child, up until 16 when I married a man I hardly knew to gain independence.

 

ME:   So why did you allow Andre to remain in your life, why didn’t you tell him to take a hike?

 

MM:   You’ve known dozens of men like him. You keep them as ‘spare tires,’ in case something comes up, you need a friend, you need this or that, & they might be available. Yes he was annoying when he tried to kiss me, I found him repulsive, just like that man who tried to kiss you when you were celibate but were thinking of going back to sex, he drove hours to see you so he could be first in line. But you decided to remain celibate. And when he found that out, he left your house even though it was 1AM.

 

ME:   But you had sex with many important men who were also repulsive – Wikipedia names Joseph M. Schenck & Johnny Hyde.

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MM:   When a man is important & does serious things for you, you can overlook his appearance.

 

ME:   About myself. You kept telling me at one time, ‘Be a movie star, it’s easy.’ I was in show biz like you, but my life took different turns. Could I have been like you or Jayne Mansfield or some other star? Would I have had what it takes?

 

MM:   We spoke about this before. Indeed, you could have been one of the movie stars, but the roles you took on in life were better than that. You established female body building for the empowerment of women. It changed their image & behavior forever. You Stripped for God & danced to save souls, no woman in history ever did that. You preached in front of the White House through this – it got 3 major leaders into office & stopped the threat of nuclear annihilation. What does being a movie star, compare to that? You chose the better parts. Look what being a movie star got me.

 

ME:   So I did not miss anything by leaving Hollywood on my own road, doing what I did.

 

MM:   You not only missed nothing, you dodged some bullets. For you the things I did, having sex with important men would have been impossible. You were, in fact, solicited by one of the chiefs of William Morris for sex – you said no. You would have said no to many of these men & incurred their wrath, one of them might have paid someone to hurt you – especially if you took that starring role in Las Vegas.

 

ME:   You’re right, I had a foreboding about that. It seems that in my life, the forces of Hell have been unleashed against me, but I won. My Guardian Angels protected me. There were so man instances where men wanted to murder me, even women, I explained some of it in Part 3.

 

MM:   Your life is extremely valuable to the work of God. You volunteered to come back to earth, even after having secured an eternal place in Heaven. You know about this, I am seeing it & saying it. You arrived on earth as an Avatar. Yes, the forces of Hell have been unleashed, & you need protection, so you have 3 powerful angels. You will be remembered long after you are dead, & not only for your appearance.

 

ME:   There isn’t much time left for me on earth, do you see this movie being a success? Will I live to see it? Will I live for this gas & oil on my land being drilled?

 

MM:   Yes to both. And you will also obtain the companionship of your young husband.

 

ME:   What do you see for this life story movie?

 

MM:   It will be extremely successful, winning Academy Awards for the movie & the star. You will gain great notoriety & lots of money, it’ll be a new lease on life for you, as you have grown tired & disappointed, like I was at the end, then you will be revived. And yes, they will begin the gas & oil process while you’re alive.

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          ME:   Why did you kill yourself, on purpose or an accident?

 

          MM:   I didn’t care any more if I lived or died. I took some pills, then got groggy, forgot how many I took & took some more. I had the worst insomnia imaginable, worse than what you suffer. I had fear, that is what it was, a sense of doom over me. And it was all because I had no love, no parental love, no God’s love, no kind of love. I was just being hounded by men’s lust & women’s jealousy – I had no friends I could count on that were the real deal – they all wanted something out of me, my body, my fame or fortune. I did not have the inner life you have, the walk with God, I was all alone in my body.

 

          ME:   You know I’ve been to hell & back, why did you not survive but I have?

 

          MM:   Because you have the Weapons of Spiritual Warfare – I didn’t, or at least, not strong like yours. You’re strong, I was weak. You were sent from Heaven as a volunteer, you’re like Jesus. You came to help others, you were an evolved soul in a previous lifetime, & in this life, were armed with great Gifts of the Holy Spirit. I was an ordinary girl & I could not overcome the trials & tribulations I came across. It was my time to go.

 

          I had achieved what few women could ever dream of, I became the number one gorgeous movie star in the world, the absolute pinnacle of success. What more was there to prove? It would have been downhill after that, not that that’s bad, I mean it’s normal to grow old. But I had done what I did & could not overcome my internal phobias, I was haunted. Had I kept living my life would have been miserable, I could not find happiness. I could not get healing.

 

          I know what you’re thinking – why could I not find God? Not everyone can, I could not. It wasn’t meant to be. But I lived a successful life & my legacy will live on for millions to continue gazing at my images & movies, & they will be entertained & made happy so it was a good life although I suffered.

 

          If a woman or man like you helped me, I could have made it. But I had no such person.

 

          You made it because of a powerful Faith, Hope, Trust & Confidence in God, as well as many virtues & gifts. You are armed so the forces of Hell cannot defeat you, though they have tried hard. Don’t give up believing now, your future isn’t terribly long but it’s very bright. Your name will be in lights again, you’ll be so happy; your enemies will run in fright, they will be chastised.

 

          ME:   Wow, what a testament. Thank you Marilyn, rest in peace. We might speak again another day. {End channeling, end Chapter 11}

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