I Strip for God coming attractions in Part 7 & other volumes
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Simpleton Joe Tex, Creepy Jackie Wilson, Zombie Richard Pryor, Little Richard, Johnny Mathis, Shirley Bassey, Ike & Tina Turner.
More on Tom Selleck & Hawaii, Max Baer of Beverly Hillbillies gets mad at me (CA).
A DWARF tries to rape me. Hedy Lamarr’s fence.
Mr. America Harold Poole, Mr. America Vern Weaver, Mr. Universe Chris Dickerson, Mr. Universe Franco Columbo, Mr. Universe Mickey Hargitay, Mr. America Mike Katz, the Hulk Lou Ferrigno, Mr. Universe Boyer Coe, Mr. Everything Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Hillbilly Hoods – I Move to the Country. Man I buy my Rotty from kills his Mom with a baseball bat.
Trapper captures dozens of my beaver & muskrats, skins them, & leaves their bodies 100’ from my house,
Hunter who I stopped messing on my land kills a deer, beheads her, & leaves her right on my path where I go to the woods,
My first night at the new house, in the back yard putting food for animals, bullets whistle all around me as drunk hoods are laughing & shooting randomly from the dirt road behind my house.
When I arrive in the country am told a man 2 miles away shot a woman, hung her up like a deer & gutted her like a deer.
Neighbor kids invade my property pretending to ‘help’ & cause the death of my beloved goose & all her goslings.
Boys in town puncture the tires of all the new cars, another set of punks knocks over the gravestones in a cemetery.
Men are having hunting accidents left & right. One disables an innocent boy walking on a dirt road, another one takes his son with friends into the woods, somehow blows the boys head off, then shoots himself. Five hunters invade my land; I catch them with a deer bleeding out of the trunk of their vehicle, face 5 men with guns & ask them to leave my property.
Dating a hit man in NY – memories of long-ago NY, 16 yrs old met DJ ‘Symphony Sid’ & he takes me to see Jimmy Smith & Mongo Santamaria, tries to kiss Mongo a French kiss, wow, does he get mad, Sid is NUTSO alcoholic, drives like a maniac. When I return to NY somehow connect with him again & see him the last day he’s on the air (1972?).
More places I danced all over U.S. & Canada, Hawaii & Puerto Rico, crazy people I met, nice people, unusual, interesting people. (The wig sniffer, the gay manager who snagged a sex date because of me) the sailor who thought he was dating a different woman after I changed outfits, the born-again Christians who picketed me in Texas & Hawaii, Zula’s Saloon—Evansville, Indiana—the minister who wanted me to go to his Church & say he saved me, why? Because he got caught with a hooker & wanted to say he only went to these places to save women, I would be his front. Etc., many other anecdotes.
Childhood anecdotes, Waccabuc, wild roses from my Dad to Ara & Henry but she doesn’t appreciate it, – Ara & Henry get a Boxer from the pound, he likes to ‘kiss’ children, they keep making him ‘kiss’ my 4 yr old half sister, I cringe as I see he bares his teeth & wants to bite her, later he bites a 4 yr old boy in the face, but no one listened to me, – the red bird we save that was caught in between windows, we all gather in a circle around him, he drinks water & flies away, – I collect frogs in our swamp, bring them to school for ‘show & tell,’ – Instead of a sandwich, all I eat for lunch is one huge carrot, 5th grade, every day, – same year, I create my own ‘magazine’, with pictures, poems & a short story in a large spiral notebook, etc. MANY other childhood & family anecdotes, I write them as I remember them.
The CRAZY MODELS I photographed
One female has an abortion every year – blames the guys. Has a fit every day while working, ranting & raving on whoever is there. Another model is a thief, gets an advance & takes off. The third is a raving alcoholic on binges, I take her bottle away, she gets hysterical, demands I pay her off & disappears for 3 weeks. I make out a missing persons report. Find out later she got raped, thrown into jail for telling off a cop, all kinds crazy stuff as she went from bar to bar, hitchhiking & drinking. When she gets home, she reports to the FBI that I’m doing illegal stuff – the FBI shuts down my B’klyn mailing address & investigates me for one full year, realizing at the end I was not doing anything illegal. But during that year I was SICK ALL THE TIME FROM STRESS.
The female models I met locally, who did not stay overnight or weekends, all conducted themselves in a normal fashion, were great to work with.
The male model experience was one I would not wish on an enemy. They were crazy, greedy, insulting & DANGEROUS. I had to take one back to the bus station, shaking in my pants I would not be able to get rid of him or he’d get violent. Another one I found out later carried a gun in his suitcase & he sneaked out early taking two expensive jackets. A third one I had to call the cops on, he was threatening me for more money. And last but not least one clown sued me on a lawsuit that cost me about18 grand to defend myself. I won of course, but good lawyers charge $300 an hour – & the guy was the worst flake, complainer, lazy, greedy filthy gigolo I had ever met. Others were funny, some insulted & hurt me. I am glad that chapter of my life shall never be repeated. What good came out of it? I worked like a dog for four years, learned photo shop & have a huge collection of great photography. Have used the work in a few books & will do so in many more. Not a one of these guys became my friends, not even the guy I used thirteen weekends. But they still had the guts to call me later on requesting money – for what? Because they needed it.
The COUGAR experience. Why on earth would God want me to quit celibacy & have ‘fun’? Why allow me to sink down into the flesh when I had conquered my sex drive with 30 years abstinence, I was at peace. Why did you, God, let me degrade myself, suffer with lust like a fat person wanting food sinking lower & lower into misery? Why take me from happiness into this? You said I would be outside Your will if I remained celibate & stayed ‘home.’ So I obeyed. No one believed me that God made me do this, perhaps some day they will. And again I ask why? Why – Why?
And God said this to me the other day:
“It’s hard for you to understand, but I chose you & I used you to do my work. You know yourself that one of the worst things Patriarchy has taught people, especially women, that sex is dirty & it’s a sin; it must be controlled by the Patriarchal rules. And so, I used you to break open barriers, to be an example of one who is morally good but active in sex. I know you’d been sexually involved before, but you became celibate, which to some would see that you turned your back on sex as it was bad – which would be agreement with society. But when you turned back to sex & went whole hog into it, as a Cougar no less, that justified sex. And I wanted to open the doors to sex for women, to show them not to be afraid of men, to be free, to make their own rules. The most important thing is that YOU DID NOT SIN, YOU OBEYED. Yes, society thinks you sinned, but I, God did not. I sanctioned it. Few women could have been strong enough to do what you did, as you have been laughed at, judged & condemned all your life, & now this.
Now & after you’re dead, you will be a BRIDGE to liberate & justify others who are in the sex trade or otherwise sexually active. They have been forced to be ‘non persons,’ ashamed & pariahs in society. But sending you out there, you will be known to many as a decent person, even a saint, & yet you did this – you had sex with a lot of men, even in old age. And so, many women will cling to you, have hope in your example & stop the shame & guilt that is so psychologically DEADLY. When a person feels that way they dislike, even hate themselves, & they can’t be happy. So I have used you, you obeyed to do my work, in helping & liberating others from sexual repression.”
OK God, I will write down what I experienced as a Cougar & that will justify & liberate other women so they won’t be so ashamed, embarrassed & guilt-ridden by their sexual experiences. A lot of it was degrading, because when a person is hungry for sex they do demeaning things to get it, they lose their pride. But so what? It’s not a sin, the main thing is, I did not sin & that’s all that matters to my Eternal Life. {End coming attractions}
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