9-26-25 He was my enemy – so he thinks

          Unusual symbol. A person appears to me who is under a small table – the table draped with a large black cloth covering his entire body. {The table is about 4’ x 2’}

          He I thinks this way because of being my enemy. I was working on a project someone was interfering with under a false name, so I thought it was this person.

          I want to take a look who is this man. So I take the hem of the cloth on the left, & begin to lift it. I vaguely see a telephone with a winding cord {old fashioned} {indicates long ago subject} – sort of colorless & behind it some other items can’t recall what.

          But he is SO FRIGHTENED I’ll find out who he is –– that he runs with all his might to the right, instantly disappearing.   {End}

          MEANING:

          *{This is Jean-Paule Goude, who I wrote to via his website asking for permission to use pictures from Esquire & Playboy {which he produced – re the female body buiding.}

          His reaction to me is one of FEAR. In his mind HE WAS MY ENEMY & today he fears I understand the truth – how he looked at me & others the way he portrayed us at that time.

          I will summon Mother God to explain better than I can what the situation was & is:

          Mother God: He looked at you aa a THING – as OBJECTS the way a man perceives a woman by the size of her breasts or buns or hair color or weight or whatever his fetish is.

          He told you about how his fetish developed. His Mom took him to a circus when he was 10 – they came upon a CAGE where a WILD MAN painted brown, rattled the bars screamed, ate raw meat – maybe a live chicken – to scare the customers.

 GEEK:
From the low German geck, meaning “fool” (1914).
A carnival performer often billed as a wild man whose act usually includes biting the head off of a live chicken or snake.

{Jean Paul was scared alright but it also created a FETISH where this sort of titillation got hooked with sexuality.

Then later on he saw BLACK WOMEN {Grace Jones & others before her} as the most sexually exciting – ‘Amazonian’ {yourself} as ditto – he could not find a black female body builder – there were none – you were the only pick of the crop, second best but you sufficed.

He turned your ‘fitness’ beauty into a lampoon of sorts – all his creation of blacks, Puerto Ricans & you the ‘Amazon’ were caricatures of THE GEEK – the scary powerful, unpredictable WILD MAN or woman THAT BELONGS IN A CAGE but at the same time EXCITES ONE. He got them ‘out of their cages’, took images & later in ‘Jungle Fever’ he put Grace Jones back into her cage naked & growling.

There was more: foot tall shoes to make his black gf look gigantic, intimidating, partying with his gay & straight elite ‘artsy fartsy’ friends. He made SCARS to paste to her face for FEROCITY. He took black boxer twins, had them wear foppish clothes for a laugh. Everyone dark or ethnic was a target – I was one of the very few white women chosen because I fit the ‘Amazon’ idea – flexing muscles for a woman MAINSTREAM was uneard of, like taking the BEARDED LADY out of the circus. If you can find it – maybe used – get his book JUNGLE FEVER which duplicates this work – work he now wants to forget because look on his website – it’s top heavy with billionaires & elite products/subjects starting with Chanel.

From the Internet re Geeks or ‘wild men’ – Caught Looking     Rachel Adams

The wild man was a stock sideshow personality, along with other common types such as fat ladies, tattooed people, giants, and midgets. During the period of their greatest popularity (roughly 1840-1940), freak shows consistently trafficked in representations of people of color that combined pedagogy and entertainment, pseudoscientific jargon, and fantastic hyperbole. In doing so, they offered simplified answers to the pressing concerns about race that would have preoccupied their predominantly white audiences, already anxious about slavery and its aftermath, the great waves of seemingly inassimilable immigrants, and imperial expansion. Freak show savages offered a simple equation of race with monstrous bodily deviance. As the black body in front of them was transformed into a hypervisible spectacle, audience members could believe that they in turn blended together into a transparent, homogenous whiteness. Those most anxious about their own status as citizens applauded the reassuring vision of nonwhite bodies that absolutely could not be assimilated.  {End internet}

Look at the early work of Goude – his time with you. Little of it is displayed in his present website. This day he has Chanel & Big Top companies represented – the elites – who became the subjects of his art.

No more Geeks – no more early/freaky female body buliding etc.

He’s more or less erased his early work – including you – because there’s too much ‘obvious’ in it – the world got wise to using others as objects. We’re talking a woman popping ping pong balls out of her vagina, we’re talking a death mask of Sonny Liston emphasizing his thick lips & extreme back features, or Toukie, his black gf – her rear end exaggerated by a plaster cast that made it stick out 2 feet – {She left him for Robert DeNiro because of that!}

When Jean Paul Goude used you as his ‘Amazon’ freak – it was a farce, a joke of sorts putting a beautiful feminine woman into a masculine, manly model doing all the muscle poses men do. You felt strange hitting some of those sets – like it was RIDICULE – but you kept going because it was something you had to do – your BELIEVED in the woman’s RIGHT to flex muscles just as men did – to appear that way on stage & to receive prizes & recognition the way males did.

That was LOST on Jean Paul Goude. Female body building DID NOT EXIST – this was a parody, no more. But the        PUBLIC didn’t take it that way & the article itself did not make fun of you – the author praised you & showed you in a positive light – the layout meant to be       CAMP turned into a CATALYST for female body building, the beginning, which you would push further until it stuck by getting it into Playboy – vhallah – {Playboy AGAIN used it a a PARODY – not something serious – a joke to make fun of PUMPING IRON & Arnold Schwarzeneggar.}

But IN SPITE OF their intent, it did not turn out that way. People took it seriously & they began to hold contests.

Neither Esquire nor Playboy nor Jean Paul Goude intended this work to bring about legitimate female body building– but the Almighty – who chose you & spurred you on – did – God works in mysterious ways.

Consider ten years later – 1985 – you called the editor of Esquire & said it as the anniversarry of the first female body building article, they could do a retrospect – his answer was “We’re not as HUMOROUS as we used to be.” This PROVES they saw it AS A JOKE. {Mother God did not, tricked them into doing this which She knew would lead to empowerment of women & move toward Matriarchy.}

Oh now you ask, why does Jean Paul Goude consider himself your enemy & does NOT want to speak to you {the phone under the black cloth representing communication.}

Because he doesn’t want to be      KNOWN that way – for what he did; For using you & others as objects & not only you as a woman, masquerading what to him was ‘a man’ but how he treated blacks & Puerto Ricans. This could be seen as discrimination – using people to make money for ‘freak shows’ or disguised in his case, as ‘graphic art.’

And speaking of which – he did not even PAY you for the article – you did it in exchange for the publicity. But you did not resent this – you thought of Jean Paul & always have, as your hero – you did not feel he ‘used’ you – but the world might think different, that’s what he wants TO HIDE!

He does not want to face all of this – he wants to be hidden under that cloth – he wants to run away from you & his querulous past.  His art might not be as welcome today as it was in the 70’s – it might be labeled RACIST & EXPLOITATIVE.

SYMBOLS: The TABLE – Note that all of him is UNDER THE TABLE. That means SECRETIVE – like what is ON the table is SEEN, what is under is not seen. He wants to keep ‘himself’ – which means who he was in the day he worked with you – under the table, secretive, forgotten, because it might be a challenge to square it up to who he is today, what he does today. Perhaps the tide was turned when he went back to France & was chosen by the PRESIDENT to design the BICENTENNIAL parade & costumes.

The black cloth covering it all is like a funeral or ending – hidden, gone, like the dead. Black can be many things – it can be failure or depression – it’s usually an ending but can also mean UNKNOWN. Here it means ‘keep it covered – keep it secret.}* 

Addendum:  Just now took a look at what is available of his early work. Saw many designs not seen before.

In some pictures he’s got the woman as a giant while he’s a small or even tiny man. Or he’s snuggled to a woman like an infant. OK, this is the Giantess fetish – this goes along with all the other things I said. He’s trying to create the Amazon, the ‘Mommy Fearest’ if you will. The ultimate memory of most submissive guys {men who get turned on by dominant women} is unconsciously, the memory of their mother. That is why violence sometimes gets into it – as Mom was a disciplinarian. He was small, she was big, so she could be frightening, plus the biggest fear could be withdrawal of love.

       {the last image here of man pulling his skin is not Jean Paul but an old type genuine freak show person – notice a few images back Jean doing the same thing}

William Bond explains how so many subs want ferocity from the female. They exaggerate who & what Mom was – to make it more exciting. Why would they want to recreate this environment? Lol, it’s quite obvious. They were comfortable there, they were loved. Although Mom yelled at him, sometimes hit or punished, she nevertheless provided a place of security & love, & so, the dominating aspect with its punishment reminds them not so much the pain, but the love – the security.

        You see with most of the woman he’s trying so hard to make the woman dominant he turns her into ‘a man’. He did this with me – & even moreso, Grace Jones. Grace Jones was putty in his hands, he was her Pygmalion. She let him do whatever he wanted as it benefited her career, so she was turned into a He-Woman or She-man. He took a normal woman, gave her a flat-top {crewcut}, made her snarl or growl with a cigarette in her mouth – turned her into a menace with a puffed out shoulder padded jacket, weapon in her hands – men groveling or worshipping at her feet,& this progressed into movie roles.

This was not the woman at heart but a character created by Jean Paul Goude. I call it ‘Mommy Fearest’ after my own Mom who was not only mean but cruel. With me it’s not a fetish, just a fact of life that was – which I wish I could laugh at. It doesn’t give me comfort.

        Mother God is there anything more to say about this? Any last words? Like what his fetish specifically had to do with molding me, in his vision into a weight lifting woman?

        MG: Just be grateful things worked out right for the time. You were doing weights – you appeared in a magazine while he looked for such a woman. You were the woman. You did the articles, they got female body building started – the rest is history & one big feather in your cap. Mother God couldn’t have done it without you & goodnight, Charlene, lol.     {End}