ROOT OF SEX PROBLEMS – WHY MEN ARE NOT PLEASING WOMEN

Rasa Von Werder and William Bond discuss SEX and how women are led astray, men are led astray, that women MUST BE DOMINANT with men if they want good sex.

SHOULD WOMEN BE DOMINANT? HOW DOMINANT, WHEN DOMINANT? HOW AGGRESSIVE? WHEN YES, WHEN NO? WE HAVE TO WORK IT ALL OUT – NOTHING IS EASY.

Rasa says:
IT’S AMAZING TO ME THAT WOMEN WHO PRETEND TO BE SEMI-VIRGINS PONTIFICATE ON THE WAYS OF SEX……..THEY CLAIM NO EXPERIENCE BUT ARE EXPERTS.
I HAVE ADMITTED THAT I HAVE HAD SEX WITH MANY MALES AND AM NOW HAVING MORE……..I AM GAINING EXPERIENCE AS TO THEIR BEHAVIOR, WHEN I SPEAK, IT IS FROM EXPERIENCE……..ALTHOUGH HARDLY ANY OF THEM HAS A CLUE HOW TO PLEASE A WOMAN – MOST OF THEM DON’T CARE, JUST WANT TO EXIT AFTER THEY ORGASM.  THAT’S WHY I AM ATTEMPTING TO TEACH THROUGH THE WEBSITE, AS THEY HAVE TO LEARN WAY IN ADVANCE, BEFORE SEX, THE PRELIMINARIES TO EVEN BEGIN TO MAKE LOVE.
THEY START WATCHING PORN AGE 11 AVERAGE – THAT IS WHERE THEY GET THEIR SEX EDUCATION.

AT ROOT OF THE SEXUAL PROBLEM – WHY MEN ARE NOT PLEASING WOMEN – IS WHAT I AM BEGINNING TO EXPLAIN ON THE WEBSITE.  THEY DO NOT RESPECT WOMEN, WOMEN DO NOT DEMAND RESPECT, THEY DO NOT LOOK UP TO OR APPRECIATE WOMEN – THEY DO NOT THINK THEY SHOULD PLEASE WOMEN – IT IS NOT MANDATORY, IT IS NOT A NECESSITY……..THEY LOOK DOWN ON WOMEN, THEY FOOL THEM TO SEE WHAT THEY CAN GET, THEY PUSH THEIR WAY INTO WOMEN’S LIVES JUST TO ORGASM, THEN THEY LEAVE.  SOMETIMES THEY STAY WITH A WOMAN, BUT IT ISN’T ALWAYS LOVE, AS YOU KNOW.  AS I SAID IN AN ARTICLE, WHEN MEN LEARN TO LOVE, RESPECT, LOOK UP TO WOMEN, AND WHEN WOMEN LEARN TO LOOK UP TO WOMEN, THEN MEN WILL TREAT THEM IN PROPER WAYS INCLUDING SEXUAL WAYS.

ANNIE OAKLEY SANG, “YOU CAN’T GET A MAN WITH A GUN” – BUT IN A WORLD WHERE WOMEN ARE BECOMING DOMINANT, HOW DO THEY GET HIM? BY WIELDING POWER, THE WAY MEN USED TO

William Bond says:

According to what Priscilla (a dominatrix author) tells me, women are led astray by reading romantic fiction in the same way men are misinformed by porn.  In romantic stories the hero is an expert in knowing how to love a woman and women who read this stuff, can’t understand why their husbands or lovers are not the same.

Priscilla had a submissive husband and was free to have a string of lovers, mostly younger than herself, so she could teach them how to please her.  She says that men need very clear, simple and direct instructions. There is no point in trying to hint at what you want, or hope he can work it out for himself. Trying to suggest things, only confuse most men.  You need to tell them precisely what you want.

It sounds to me, if the man is in charge the women never gets what she wants.  The only way a woman can get what she wants, sexually, is if she is a dominant woman.  Men don’t respect women because we live in a patriarchal society. Men only respect bossy women and have a contempt for submissive women, it is as simple as that.

RASA SAYS:

WOW.  Words to the wise.  I am trying to apply these words to my experience.
I mostly relate to young males, from 18 to 30.  These boys are college students or models.  It’s a differing experience with each.

DOWNTOWN WITH STUDENTS–BEEN GOING 6 YEARS, DANCING, DATING, YOUNG MALES LOVE OLDER WOMEN BUT THEY ARE SCARED–THEY MUST GET OVER IT, OLD WOMEN ARE DESIGNATED THEIR TEACHERS, MENTORS, TO USHER THEM INTO THE CULTURE OF LIFE (MATRIARCHY)

The college students are seen in the context of a night club downtown.  They surround me, want to dance with me, hold me, sometimes act sexy.  But God help me if I get aggressive, like kissing their arm muscle, they back away in fear (at times), even withdrawing completely and not wanting to come near me again.  They are SCARED.  (They want sex, they are scared when a woman is aggressive, certainly this woman, not sure how they react with college girls—they seem not scared with them.)  Of course, the ones that are extremely DRUNK are not scared and sometimes do more groping than I want – in front of everyone.  (Everyone surrounds me at the club, male and female students – they love me and most of them want to dance with me.)  They almost never ask me to have sex – it does happen – but it is generally a student who is not with a group, a stag or loner, seeking a female.  (Most of the other students appear there in groups.  These are hard to penetrate as far as a relationship, it’s a group mentality, and they stick together, shielding each other from infiltration.)

Maybe it’s good to define what is meant by “domination” and “submission” in the course of these relationships.

From what Priscilla is saying here, it seems to me, have to be direct and strong to the man in what you want, not like a drill sergeant, but in a factual way, say like,
“Would you like to make love?”
(Is that a good or bad thing to say?  Only experience proves it out.  I have had this statement backfire – A LOT.  It seems guys want to get horny before they MAKE A DECISION for sex.  It’s not an intellectual or a logical consideration.  Maybe you have to paw them first, give them a hardon—then they say yes.  Without a hardon, they say no, because their body doesn’t impel them.  They follow their body.  Not very intelligent, is it.)
Or,
“Could you center your tongue on my clitoris and not travel all over the place?  This is the clitoris, I am touching it.”
Being passive would mean DOING NOTHING or chattering about irrelevant things, not saying what you want, too scared to say or do something that makes him know you want to have sex, or if you do sex, too timid to tell him how to do it.
As far as telling the guy how to do sex, that is a real problem.
If you have to explain in the middle of a sex act,
“do this – do that – don’t do this or that”
it becomes mechanical and fake, while the flow of love energy should be relaxed, not dictatorial.  I can picture many situations where it would curtail the flow of what a man is doing – turn him off.
It is not an easy situation, it bears much explanation and practice in real life – like any art or skill, there are many facets.  There is the facet of emotion, underneath creating a painting or making love.  There is the facet of skill, by which one renders a masterpiece of art or turns on another person through love.
We need DETAILS, we need instruction that goes on and on, in many different ways, from all angles, in all situations.
I intend to use this site as a place of teaching men how to make love, and so far, I have spoken mostly about their attitude – that they must love and respect women, and women must feel the same way about themselves to receive it.  But soon I am going to go past that and explain point for point, how to approach the female and give her pleasure.
There is no one easy or simple answer.  This is a thing with many nuances, perspectives, ways of seeing and doing.  One must go into situations, explaining the dating game, the phone game, the camcorder game, the restaurant game, the being in the house alone game, etc., etc.  And then, DO I KNOW ALL THE ANSWERS?  Certainly not!  I can only share what I do know, what I have experienced my opinions, feelings and thoughts, and the channeling to Mother God, asking her to help.

WILLIAM BOND SAYS:

I think it is hard for strong women in a patriarchal society, because if a man approaches her and she then tells him what she wants, and he is not use to this and so backs off.  It is because he is in a situation where doesn’t know what to do, as he has no experience of being with a woman like this.  Whereas if a man has had experience of previously meeting assertive women, then it makes things a lot easier, as he then knows what to expect.

As for giving a man instructions during the sex-act -  Yes it can be off-putting, so perhaps it is something that can be discussed afterwards, so the man then knows what to do next time they have sex. If the man’s ego is hurt by this, then this shows that the man is more interested in his own ego than wanting to give the woman what she wants.  The point is that men are not going to know how to please women unless women tell them what they want. Men are not mind-readers.  They only way they are going to learn is if they are told by women exactly what they like and don’t like.

RASA SAYS:
GOOD REMARKS, WM.  I AM SO EAGER TO BUILD THIS WEBSITE.  IT IS MY NEXT STEP IN DOING WHAT MUST BE DONE TO HELP HUMANITY.  NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD VEER INTO SEX, BUT HERE I AM!

Rasa Von Werder and William Bond, 3  26  14