10-12-23 the Godlike Kiss
Experiences of cycles in my life – from Action to contemplation back & forth
First I dreamed about a Guru couple, whom I shall name only ‘O & A.’ Can’t recall details, but they are married & do everything together including spiritual work {see bottom for a recollection}.
…….I was working in my apt in B’klyn. I know from a recent revelation this means a PORTAL to Purgatory! I’ve dreamed about this apt for YEARS not knowing it meant this & what a revelation!
So here I am working & working. A male seems to be with me & we work diligently. He’s in the living room, I’m in the kitchen.
Suddenly, this male walks over to me & we KISS & it is not a natural, but a SUPERNATURAL Kiss. The most incredible God-love flows from him to me & me to him. It’s then I realize this man is Nick, my Spiritual Husband.
What is unusual is that in real life Nick was 6’3”, but now he’s the exact same height as me. He’s wearing beige {contemplation}, his hair is light brown, short & he is wearing round glasses, vaguely see the rims black, the kind they wore in the 30’s & I have pics of my Dad with glasses like that.
The entire night I have dreams of working, it seems for hours upon hours, but for the life of me, can’t recall what I did. But I now know that most of my activities where I’m working, struggling & sometimes suffering or avoiding demonics or demons, has to do with my work for Purgatory. It’s because I made the ‘Heroic Act’ which says that every one of my tasks & activities, if it gains Grace, that Grace goes directly to them.
I think that’s what God is showing me this night – that all I do is for Souls in Purgatory.
One reason could be that I must sleep a lot is because so much of my time is spent in REM sleep, rather than the deep sleep where no visions occur. Someone told me my eyes move constantly {under closed lids} when I sleep.
But for all the hours & hours of activity in my dreams I can only recall the remarkable Kiss.
MEANING:
I’ve already explained most of it but a couple things. One, why is Nick now my height? Because he’s ‘just like me’. Like O & A, both Gurus, he is now working for Souls in Purgatory! This is a great Gift from God! Being the same height could be partners, mates, ‘twin flames’ – ‘Soul Mates.’
The glasses could be that he’s like my Dad, the person who taught me what love is & the man I loved more than anyone else in my life. Nick finally took his place, which no one else could!
Next day recalled one scene: Guru Lady A is standing behind a portable ‘ladder’ that came down from the sky, the kind that just ‘hangs’, like what I once had long ago made of metal links you could use to climb out of your 2nd story window. But this looks kind of ‘solid’ metal, but it hangs from the air – I can’t see from where it came.
A is standing behind it so she is slightly ‘concealed’ & had hung a folded medium-sized towel on a rung. I vaguely think it’s purple. I imagine Guru O, her mate, across from her looking at her but don’t really see him. A is dressed in sort of sleek or simple but glamorous clothes, her hair is quasi bouffant, dark brown. She’s calm.
10-13-23 the Rainstorm Blocks my Usual Road
I have been busy traveling & dong some work when I decide it’s time to go home. I drive to an intersection & happy to see across from me, is the usual road I have taken hundreds of times in dreams. It’s a country road over a height. Right now I can’t see the road but know it’s there. It’s hidden by a fog or mist which in front has a huge metallic arm like off a machine, maybe farm equipment or construction equipment, but all is so hazy I can’t tell what it is.
But as I embark on the road the fog/haze dissipates & I can see. The road will shortly go up a steep hill & then into a medium sized mountain. It is raining & has been for a while. I see a beige car to my right {like I used to have so it’s my past} where the driver is wondering if it’s safe, as he’s already going through foot deep puddles & still raining. And I do worry for him.
But I’m not on the road & not in a vehicle. I am traveling by air – floating, wearing these platform heels – beige – with 4” spikes, & a beige baby doll type outfit with fluff on the edges as I sail through the air toward the mountain.
I’m going over rolling hills covered with a vegetation such as I saw yesterday in a movie, some kind of Heather in Autumn which has grown golden/beige & fluffy,– only about 6” & is a fluff over the hills. I seem to be alright in spite of everything until a powerful wind hits my back, & it’s so strong it threatens to take me over that road on my right & beyond that road I imagine there’s a large body of water. If I lose control over my body that wind could take me there & I could drown, so being alarmed, I quickly turn around while I can & return the way I came, then I am safe.
MEANING:
This hearkens to a road, path, or way of acting/behaving– something I’ve done so many times. But right now an ILL WIND & OMINOUS RAIN tell me not to take this road – it could endanger me, even get me killed. Killing does not have to be physical; it could mean failure of some sort.
My best guess is not {or I am not} to play the REVEALING role I’m accustomed to – the lady from the adult trade, naked, vulnerable, ‘on stage,’ at the mercy of everyone. This was my job in the past to get me ‘home’ or where I wanted to go – home being a place of comfort, success & safety {like making a ‘home run’ in baseball, reaching a beneficial conclusion.}
In the past I was EXPOSED – in the OPEN. Now I live SECRET or PRIVATE which is THE BETTER PART. Yes the platforms & spikes I did wear – actual shoes I have & wore}, & yes, I suffered by being in this trade, & now as they say, time to ‘throw in the towel’ or turn in your equipment when a job is done. So one phase of my life is OVER – referring to ‘Martha’, the ACTIVE live, & now the contemplative or private/with God life is before me.
I go back to the previous dream & it might refer to the same subject. Guru A, who is now working with Guru O, is myself & Nick.
A ladder comes down from Heaven or God & I put my folded towel on it, purple. This makes me think of ‘throwing in the towel,’ & purple means suffering.
My life goes in CYCLES. In the Guru dream, it reminds me what God said long ago before I became a Cougar,
“I want you to stop suffering, quit celibacy, go out & have fun.”
{Except it didn’t work that way, I suffered again – my inner God recently told me,
“I didn’t know YOU WOULD SUFFER THAT MUCH”
& when I asked but isn’t She God, doesn’t She know everything?
She said,
“I’m only the Little God within you, not the Almighty who knows all, sees all, can do all things. I do not have that kind of power although I am vastly superior to you & have the qualities of God but not to the degree Almighty Mother has.
And at that time God was telling me a long cycle of contemplation was over, time to return to the active life, I resisted, God insisted.}
ME: Do these two scenes refer to the same thing or are they different? Is it trying to tell me that I should quit, or have quit, a certain role or behavior? The second dream warns of dire consequences.
MG: They are about the cycles of your life. Most recently went out to the bars/restaurants, met a lot of people, spoke to them about God, & you were also unhappy just as you ended up when being a Cougar.
You have been most happy when you’re alone, with God, being with animals, praying, writing.
Being in the world you did first in your youngest days, being a dancer. Eventually ou became celibate & remained so for 30 years plus. Then I told you to go out & have ‘fun,’ which lasted 11 years. You went back to writing & wrote 9 volumes of “I Strip for God” in 2 years. Then you got eyestrain, couldn’t work on the computer, & experimented with starting a face-to-face local ministry. You tried but it didn’t work, ever a few months your eyes got better, you quit trying that fruitless task & went back to the Interior life where you dwell now in happiness.
In the Guru A scene God gives you back your Union or ability to reach God {by letting down a ladder, which is metal, which means ‘God’s Will’ like the NAILS in Jesus’ hands & feet!} – your Spiritual faculties, Gifts, being animated again. God has reached you again, you reach God. You ‘throw in the towel’ for the ‘me with people’ work – Nick is a relevant part.
What does Guru O or Nick have to do with it? You went out to ‘have fun’ but it wasn’t – & you found your Soul Mate. But he was an addict & tortured you {anyone who’s been next of kin or spouse to an addict understands}. The chasing / suffering / addict part is now closed. He’s with you forever, in the state of contemplation as it shows him wearing beige. It’s a spiritual relationship, the flesh is gone, the pain with it – you have the fulfillment of this relationship, you’re together forever. {end}
About a Week Ago
I dreamed this: My bottom yard has two tunnels, one on each end of the yard. From the back tunnel, which leads to my wilderness, there is water gushing so hard that as it comes through it sprays 20’ into the air. It forms a series of creeks in the yard that run like pretzels all through it. Then it stops, it’s quiet, & I’m telling someone how incredible it was.
This dream describes the Grace of God, which came in with such force. The Grace is left within the creeks below which means the Grace stays with me.
Here there is an example of water meaning two different things. Symbols can be ‘bad’ or ‘good.’ In the ‘road to home’ dream the water was OMINOUS, in this dream it is the Grace of God.
A symbol can represent multiple things, decided by the context of the dream. For instance fire. Fire can be destructive, ruining or eating up your entire property. But fire was also Flames of the Holy Spirit above the heads of the Holy Persons during Pentecost, & it was the Burning Bush that appeared to Moses – which was God.
Black also means opposite things. It can be the worst depression, a funeral, an ending. But it’s also a great Mystery – something we cannot understand, a symbol of God, like St. John of the Cross said, “God is blackness to us.” And so during the ‘dark night of the Soul’ we are actually coming CLOSER to God, although we cannot see, sense or perceive God! It is not the time of consolation, when we do perceive God, it is the time of blindness to God – darkness, as we come closer to the One we don’t Know or Understand.
And so in this series of dreams we have two examples of water, one ominous, forbidding, destructive, & the other is life-giving. Note that in the famous symbol of an umbrella protecting you from the rain – from caking up your salt to protecting your investments – rain is bad, the umbrella good. During a severe drought, the prophet Elijah prayed for rain & when it appeared, it was from God. {end}
