9-25-25 Need a Church
On the 23rd I prayed for hours & heard the Light within me say,
“You need a Church”
I wrongly immediately thought of a CHURCH BUILDING & looked on the internet for churches on sale.
That was as dumb as St. Francis of Assisi rebuilding crumbled medieval chapels when God told him “rebuild my Church.”
God was speaking of the spiritual example Francis was to donate – the aspect of POVERTY he was famous for & that would rebuild the spirituality of the Church.
So what was God telling me? I had been DEPRESSED badly that day – it had been coming on a while – & I NEVER get depressed but I was. It was so bad it was scary. So what was God saying that would HEAL me or take me OUT of this depression?
God was saying I need a CONGREGATION – that’s what a Church is: a group of people who believe a certain way. They have a leader or Pastor – & I would be that Pastor & I would teach, preach & do the rituals like Holy Communion.
I NEED this to fulfill my persona – it’s who I am. I need to send out energy of the leader/Priest – I need them to receive it to respond, to ask questions & open their little beaks for the Mother bird to put in the nourishment. It is a Maternal, Source-style exchage of energy from me to them, from them to me. Children by their nature demand help, I need those who need my help. I need them to speak to me, I need to speak to them – there must be an exchange. This displays a flow of energy – right now there is no flow – & thereby causing my depression.
Right now the sites I have there is no energy – the blog no one is posting or speaking to me. One day we got over 116,000 views, but not one person made a comment! And my regular website doesn’t have the ability to take comments – that was established long ago & I don’t know how to change it.
My You tube does have some comments – all from men based on how I look – {sometimes they speak of other things but it’s all men. If it was about content some women would comment but they don’t.} It’s better than nothing but right now there’s a glitch & I can’t get on – that & other setbacks might have triggered my depression.
So here I was checking out Church buildings near me in two states & imagining;
“I’ll be in a big Church I bought with no audience, maybe 2-3 people – & I’m paying all kinds of expenses – what a fiasco!”
Because right now I have no following – no audience – no congregation!
How do I get one? The closest I ever came to a following was on Facebook – so there I must go again. And it took this TIME to figure out the name. I was confused. Thought of a dozen names, nothing seemed right.
Then I KNEW: Saint Mary Magdalene. Why? Why not Bl. Virgin Mary? Because Mary Magdalene is in a sense, who I am & all women of God whose reputations have been ruined by men – because they are in the adult trade, because they are gamorous or sexually free or like that – such women are degraded & grinded into the dirt without cause. This is what they did to Saint Mary Magdalene – a great lady, a Princess – her Dad a Roman Prince, her Mom a Jewess – the most gamorous & wealthy woman of her day – she owned the city of Magdala.
Yes she had sins, yes, Jesus removed demons, but she was not a slut or courtesan or prostitute, her sins were vanity & pride – because of her beauty & status according to St. Anne Catherie Emmerich. Anne says Mary’s Mother set her in a picture window fcing the street, to sit there as an icon of beauty for passer by to drop jaws – when she was a girl. Maybe she was selfish & arrogant – those kind of sins – NOT prostitution! She was, says Anne Catherine Emmerich, the most spiritually evolved of all Jesus’ disciples – He loved her, He wanted her to lead his Church but the men pushed her out. Yes, she was a mainstay of Jesus ministry, she financed his work. Saint Mary of Agreda says she gave a large donation to Judas not to betray Our Lord – but he did it anyway.
And so I will use this name as a facet of our ministry & Order – it fits.
When I will open up this Facebook I don’t know – but soon. I have my old webman coming; he might do it if I can’t make a go of it myself. I need that flow of energy. {End}
