11-24-23        The Movie

 

Strange dream that ended up with ONE CLUE that would be EASY TO MISS which if lost, would lose the meaning of the dream. It says ‘pay attention to details,’ the tiniest detail could be the key to the dream!

I recall the END of the dream better than its body. We are all, finally, invited to a movie. Huge audience, most seats filled. We were waiting outside in lines, all of us, wearing what seems to me the same type soft beige clothes, like the colors & texture of our clothing sort of all blends together.

Finally the theater is opened – Then another wait, again a large group of us. The movie has to END for the previous audience before they allow us in. I see a slight part of it through a window but it does not SPOIL the movie. It seems like a male & female possibly lying down embracing, she wearing pink like a v-cut outfit,

{like the chemise I have, orange/pink or salmon color which has those two v’s over the breast, then soft short pants, silky. All those images in the woods – beautiful – me, around age 50.}

Finally, after those 2 waits, we are told,

“OK, enter.” 

Below, me dancing age 66 at club

Everyone wants a good seat, the better to see this movie we’re all eager to witness.

The seats are now empty, hundreds, they are all mostly that salmon – color with trim maybe silver, like Frank Lloyd Wright’s chair in his suite at the Plaza I just saw an image of {a bit plainer than that}.

I go through the right alley & quite a way to the front, maybe 6-8 rows from the front. Find a seat toward the left/middle. – One seat away from an older man, grey-white hair, tall, thin, not attractive. I wonder about him – will he think I’m trying to be friendly? Will he think I want him to speak to me? But he doesn’t mind me either way.

And to my left, right in the aisle seat, is a female, all alone like me I think,

“So I’m not the only woman who travels solo, there are others.

Here’s a feeling that women are for some strange reason, embarrassed to do anything alone. Like they must prove they have a mate or friends. So I don’t want to put this poor lady on the spot by asking her anything. Her appearance is thin, fairly young, brown hair, wearing charcoal grey & a salmon vest.

Now before the movie starts, another delay. When will these obstacles stop & we can finally see the movie? There is a line of both males & females, young people, about 20 of them, across the entire front of the stage & screen.

One of them gives a speech, & it’s about charity.

They are speaking of NUNS or a nun, who went places & did this or that work. And speech done, they hope for donations.

Not everyone wants to give, but I do.

I take out my purse, but it’s dark. I open it, it’s a change purse & has many dollars of change. I wonder if I should give a handful of it. But then my eyes light on a SILVER DOLLAR that I got somewhere for good luck.

When this young corpulent female comes up to my aisle, I proudly take out the silver dollar & hand it to her. {Forgot to say, the lady to my left put a light on my change purse for me so I could see.}

I hand it to the girl saying,

“Here is my good luck silver dollar for you.”

And she reiterates, showing it to the next aisle, saying like wise,

“Here is a lucky silver dollar this lady gave me.”

 
Then an unusual thing – For some reason I start checking under & around my seat & I find, of all things, some potatoes & grapes. The grapes are purple, they’re covered with dust mostly, some of them seem maybe spoiled. The potatoes are medium size, red skins, I hold a couple in my hands. The unusual thing about them is the roots. They are made of some kind of thin blue plasticky material, like half a dozen on one potato bottom I hold, fluttering.

As I think of it, when I was going to dismiss this as irrelevant, I suddenly see FILM in my eyes! And that means a lot! It’s about the movie of my life.

I show the grapes to the old man to my right & he kind of chuckles, but not in a humorous way, more like oh how awful, don’t want to eat that.

But I say to someone the potatoes are good. One can use them for food. This discovery of food seems to go with the ticket of seeing this movie.

And I see nothing more, that’s it. After all that time the movie is not shown in the dream.

 

MEANING:

          *{ME: Here we are again, Mother God. It’s about the movie of my life. But what about it?

People are waiting, including me, there are obstacles & delays.

Finally we’re in the theater. Another delay, a line of people is speaking of charity, I give the silver dollar.

Then I find fruits around me on the floor including a potato whose roots are FILM like the film for a movie.

But what does it add up to?

MG:   It seems there are two keys, your lucky silver dollar, which you give up to charity, & what seems like the result of your charity, the fruits of your life made into a film or films.

It’s kind of like God is saying to you,

“Before the movie of your life could be created, you had to fulfill a certain amount or kind of charity, symbolized by this silver dollar.

After you present it to the lady, you find the results. FRUITS are RESULTS as like,

“The fruits of my work, the fruits of my efforts, the fruit of my sufferings.”

The grapes are the sorrows/sadness/pains, like the ‘Grapes of Wrath.’ It’s mostly the evil people felt toward you & did to you – your Mom, first husband & others. They are covered with DUST like things of LONG AGO.

ME: Who is this old man to my right who is repulsed by the dusty, mostly inedible grapes?

MG: This might be your second husband, the great man who gave you so much love & security. He now sees the shyt you went through & it disgusts him.

{He looks like the unattractive, but good man at your local grocery store who is ugly but good inside. He married one of the younger, much more attractive female workers at the store & they have lived happily after. He’s a good symbol for Richard. He wasn’t much to look at, for you, but good hearted & of great benefit & you were much better looking than he.}

ME: I almost never dream of him, he usually represents my Beloved Nick. Why does he appear at the event of this movie?

MG: To show you he never understood your trials & pains, but finally he sees how awful your life was. But also fruitful, from the pain & the effort, your story emerged.

ME: The potatoes. Why potatoes?

MG: Underground, secret, unseen, unheard. Your movie is not so much how you looked, which is obvious & apparent. Everyone knows you were beautiful. But what’s the STORY to that?

It’s like Oliver Twist or one of those other Charles Dickens heroes that were poor, abused & downtrodden. They were cute & sweet, Little Lord Fauntleroys, but around them were hosts of characters which were anything but that. These people were hateful, selfish, cynical, self-serving, egotistical, con men & women – all that is BAD. Of course, some good souls here & there but not many. Richard Von Werder was one of the good ones.

          The STORY is of NO VALUE without the characters & EVENTS of your life. How much can you say about a beautiful man or woman whose life had no drama? It’s the drama that makes the story – the unusual people, twists & turns, dangers, predicaments like ‘The Perils of Pauline.’

          Let’s take ‘Great Expectations,’ a poor blacksmith apprentice in 1850’s England. Take away his mean stepmother & kindly stepfather, take away Miss Havisham, a weird eccentric, take away the convinct in the cemetery who secretly becomes Pip’s benefactor. Take away Jaggers, the tough, imperious lawyer. Make it the story of a poor boy who works hard, becomes a good blacksmith, marries the girl he loves & lives happily ever after. Story gone, no mystery, tragedy, excitement, flat as a table.

          Now look at ‘Oliver Twist,’ riddled with criminals, a murderer, thieves, the head of which is Fagin, a sinister, ugly, dirty leader of poor boys & girls he teaches the craft. Take the uncaring workhouse master or ‘Beadle’ Mr. Bumble & his creepy wife – the sweet family/s that take Oliver in & save his life, take away Oliver’s going from job to job, house to house, being abused by lowlife’s. Make it the ordinary life of a poor boy who finally gets out & makes it, but take away the thieves, murderers, pitfalls & dangers & you have a bland tale.

          To recap a bit, you had the hateful Mom & her sidekick brother. It’s her life’s obsession to destroy you, trying to convince everyone including you that you are ugly & worthless. Your first husband tries to murder you & leaves you & the child penniless by canceling his life insurance. You had the con artist ‘Putz NutOn’ controlling you, then the greedy Rev Verna Talbot who puts two death curses on you which almost come to pass. You got away from them both to meet rich & famous men, some of whom were blackards. You ‘Stripped for God,’ – the first women in history to do that,& you were the Progenitor of female body building, both projects fraught with adversity, controversy & accusations – even threats. At the end you become a Cougar with questionable young males that youth is wasted on. Your life was on cliff edge many times, with men & situations, saved by your Guardian Angels.

          The lady to your left in the theater, alone, is one of your Guardian Angels who sheds Light on something for you. It’s about charity. It’s that your charity resulted in success, nothing more, nothing less. In other words, karma. If you had been bitter, angry, blocked God with negative thoughts & feelings, your success would not have come. But you kept your Faith, Hope & Love so here we are.

          ME: The line of religious activists speaking of a nun. Is the nun me? Why a nun? Who are these people? Why is the lady who comes up my aisle to collect fat? What does the Silver Dollar itself represent? Why isn’t it a hundred dollar bill for instance?

          MG: “Not everyone wants to give” is a telling remark you make. You are a GIVER, not a ‘taker.’ You don’t USE PEOPLE the way so common. And because you gave, more has been & will be given to you from God – karma is real. Those who won’t give but only take think they’re being smart. But it’s what we sacrifice that begets the greatest Grace & success. The parable of the Talents or the people the Lord gave money to. One of them buried it, with no return. The other two invested, gave it up, & returns came, so they got more. Those people you see in your life who abused & used you, what profit did they gain? Your Mom & brother are in a low place in Heaven, not great Saints. Putz NutOn, you saw 5 demons carry him to Hell. Rev. Verna served almost 3 years in Purgatory, a lot considering how she bragged she’d be a Light that shot up straight to Heaven when she died. Your cruel first husband, Stanley, spent the record 55 years in Purgatory, relying on your help to get him out, & you finally did.

          These 20 or so people asking for charity are Celestials – maybe all Angels, maybe Saints, maybe a combo.

          The fat lady? Reminds me ‘It’s not over ‘till the fat lady sings.’ Lol. This might be your patroness, St. Gertrude the Great, with whose help you gained the Interior Divine Stigmata. Why she’s fat? Usually the ones in Heaven are thin; those on earth are fat from attachment, but see how symbols change in the context of the dream.

          Her girth goes with the ‘it’s not over’ idiom. What happens at the end of your life, its conclusion? It’s a Life Review. What did you give, who were you? What were you worth?

          The SILVER DOLLAR is a symbol of LOVE. You gave the most important thing you have – Love, through it all. It’s not money, time or things, it’s Love that determines everything, whether one will hear ‘well done, good & faithful servant.’ If you maintain love through it all, you have accomplished the goal.

          Calling you a ‘nun’ is to recognize your vocation as ‘servant of God’ like St. Gertrude was a nun, here she is at the conclusion of your life’s work.

          And your Guardian Angel sheds light on what is important. It’s not the money; it’s the ‘LUCK’ of the Silver Dollar you give up. You give up your luck or Blessing or Gift. That was in the Divine Stigmata – you gave up your pleasure, bliss or peace with God & endured the shallows & wastes of human sense for eighteen years. Was this not a proof of Godly Love?

          We don’t mention this Grace until now, when St. Gertrude shows up. Besides everything else, the most pivotal part of your life is the relationship with God, & here, this is the most telling, dramatic & revealing of all your life’s harrows. No one even knows or believes about it even though you told the story many times – the world responds to your former sex appeal, dancing, dating, meeting men, physical phenomena, not this.

          The Guardian Angel reflects you, not herself. She’s dressed like you. The charcoal grey is the Cross & death, the salmon is the resurrection, – Phoenix rising or FISH as the Christian symbol. You died & rose again spiritually, as Christians do.

          And being embarrassed to be alone is not the sense of an Angel but your human sense.

          ME: The vague scene I see at the end, through the window, it seems I am in the embrace of someone. Does the movie end with Nick & me being together, even though he’s dead?

          MG: It’s a happy ending, whatever it is. Could be Nick, could be you & God. You’re wearing that salmon color – symbol of Godly life, resurrection. It ends happily. That’s all you see of the movie, lol.}*    {end}