9-25-23        Sleepless Night – Help Nick’s Clients

 

This indicates he summoned me here to the Purgatory or condition of his friends, to help them again.

          How can you describe six hours of mostly tossing & turning? When I did doze off intermittently had this bad dream:

         

         I’m at the old farmhouse when I hear a great deal of noise. Going through the front door of the living room – {has 2 doors, regular & glass} I open the regular & look through the glass. There is a WAR going on, later I surmise between two rival street gangs. One of them has a machine gun rat-tat-tatting up on the hill forward, others have guns. I see a young male, maybe a child, lying face down on our front lawn & I scream to my mother:

“There’s a war & a boy is lying dead on our lawn!’

She runs to the door & instead of just looking through, she opens it wide to look, then comes back in the house, leaving the door open!

       I run to shut the door yelling at her why does she leave the door open when there’s a machine gun & guns out there? Happily, I see the boy is NOT dead, but was lying face down to avoid the bullets.

I’m having trouble shutting the door as it seems there’s a GAP or opening there even when I close it. I seem to see plaid TARTANS somehow at the edge of the door. When I close it, the gap remains & the tartans, with blue in them I think, are present at the opening, like a FRAME on the edge or edging.

I blame my mother for this. She looks to have frizzy grey hair, gaunt & skinny. She’s kind of just running off taking no responsibility, I’m the one concerned.

I see two sides here, & a group of young males, reminds me of the gangs in B’klyn, are calling out for now,

“WE WON!”

It seems like a protracted battle & sometimes one side wins, then the other. My old time friend ‘Buck’ from B’klyn seems to be the leader of one side, which has members inside our house, so I guess it’s our side.

 

Then suddenly, out of nowhere, Nick appears {as soon as this happens I’m HAPPY – my Beloved dead husband. How did he get here – walk? Or got a ride? I don’t know. I wasn’t even sure he had my address.

He’s near me in the living room which is dim & has plush modern {stark} brown couches & sofas I imagine without seeing them. He’s just like real life when he was 22, young, beautiful, thin, wearing a light blue cotton shirt – don’t see the sleeves, but it’s summery.

I complain to him what’s going on. He’s VERY CALM – not worried or upset.

I take him into the kitchen, which is well lit & then as I glance around realize I live in a MANSION & this is proven by my kitchen – large, rather luxurious – well stocked with items poor people don’t have.

          While I sat in the living room I kept calling to a maid-type girl or ‘underling,’ {young, chubby, light clothes}

          ‘Bring a cold beer please,’

          {I’m being authoritative}

but the girl doesn’t do it, so then I take Nick to the kitchen.

          I look into the fridge & say,

          “They’ve drank all the beer!”

{the gang}

          But then I see I have an almost full bottle of Evan William’s Whiskey & show Nick that. He says,

          “That’ll do – even better!”

So I get two glasses & find ice, put ice in. His will be stronger than mine, so his glass I’ve chosen is smaller. I hope he doesn’t think I’m stinting him. As I pour the ice, some of it melts & I want to get rid of some of this water before I pour the whiskey on ice, which I do but am fumbling. Finally we’re all set to enjoy this.

          Then Nick says,

“Now give me a good comfortable seat t sit as he heads back into the living room. He’s STOOPED forward & coughs!

I glance in the kitchen at a black lacquered ‘farmhouse’ kitchen chair with spindled posts on the back & wonder would that have been a place he could sit comfortable? But apparently that’s not what he wanted.

Forgot to say earlier when I showed him the whiskey I also pointed at other liquors one in a round dull covered goldeny pot on another table, & something else, & I’m sort of bragging saying,

          “We have that – & that – we have sherry.”

          I wanted to show him we have A LOT of liquors, we have abundance / prosperity.

Then I follow him into the living room where we’ll enjoy our drinks. It’s much dimmer than the kitchen, & between it & the kitchen the entire wall is glass with open partitions, but the lighting is very different.

 

MEANING:

          As soon as I understood the PURPOSE of my suffering the suffering went away. That’s why God doesn’t always tell us the purpose, because the pain gains merit. In this case, it’s again good ole’ Nick who has brought me his friends, the drug addicted – who died from overdoses. And they drank all the beer, means they received benefits from this office already, prior to his arrival. Beer, liquor, wine,

 

are all ELIXIRS of SPIRITUALITY, in other words, the NECTAR of God’s Love.

This would come out of the Holy Mass, prayers, sacrifices & sufferings – it’s the Grace of God.

          This shows that Nick is abut to receive from my office, a HIGHER elixir than are his friends. No doubt as he has summoned the occasion. They had beer, he gets whiskey. I brag about the other liquors to say how abundant we are here with God’s Grace. The Golden Pot especially seems like something special. It has a lid on it which hints it’s reserved for Feast – Gold is Love.

          Why I wonder how he got here? Seems unusual as he’s united to me in secular terms, the ‘twin flame’ condition. I surmise the question is about the Purgatorial aspect, as it takes Great Ability to gain the Office or Portal of a person like myself, to access this for the Souls {living or dead Souls}. I am asking how he gained this ability to ‘get here.’

          The WAR is the war of drug addicts against their addiction. The demons are on the OTHER SIDE or the side of ‘do evil – kill yourself – hurt yourself with drugs.’ They fight this continually, fearing death. The devil has them ‘outgunned’ with a machine gun & artillery, but they are with me, inside my house & on my lawn – which means under my CARE, SUPPRT & PROTECTION. This could mean these people are NOT DEAD, so are they the Holy Souls or those living? The living would have the struggle. Either way, they are Souls needing help & Nick has brought them to me.

          My mother – why does she look as she does, why does she leave the door open with the tartan symbol?

          Without a doubt, she has facilitated this occasion, she has left open the door or window or opportunity for me to communicate with these Souls & SEE that I’m helping them. Otherwise my pain is meaningless.

          The TARTAN is the Scottish Highlands, & wearing it proves kinship with one clan or another. My clan is the Friends of God, & we are UNITED so the tartan symbolizes.

 

Mother is looking skinny, haggard & frizzy grey haired {also naked} to prove my condition – which is frustration, worry, helpless as I toss & turn all night. In real life the God Self does not have such feelings, this is SYMBOLIC.

Our side, the gang leader claiming victory is because they have WON the Grace of God against the demons, who want to destroy them by having them turn against God & give in to the futility of drug addiction.

Nick appears unfurled because he knows I’m in charge & doing good for his clients. His light clothing, also light blue, is to show ‘summer’ where one can be open to the season, one does not have to bundle up against the force of the cold. He is in a warm, loving place, a place of God’s Grace, with me, which is like the pleasantness of summer or Heaven. Light blue is also a color most people Ascend with.

I call out to a girl to serve us beer – for Nick. But she does not bring it. This elixir or Grace has already been consumed by our side of the battle.

Taking Nick to the kitchen is giving him the reward for his efforts. It’s a Grace higher than the participants, he is the founder of the Feast – he gets the best.

I’m bragging about all the Grace available to me, hinting to the future.

What are the two glasses, the ice & ice melting, his glass stronger, therefore smaller, me fumbling?

It seems to me this is the Blood of Jesus & Mary appearing in the Holy Mass which will be transmitted to him. Ice melting could be my struggle to make sure it is said every day – melting ice is time gone by. I don’t want to procrastinate the Mass & every day I make sure I say it. His cup smaller & stronger? Could be saying more Grace is transmitted to him than myself from this. Why? He needs more.

Why is the light dimmer in the living room & the kitchen all lit up? The kitchen is where I say the Holy Mass, much Spiritual Light is generated. But Nick & I are enjoying the benefits of this Grace in the living room, our regular life; it gives us Peace & Rest.

Then he has his Gift & is bent forward & coughs, asking for a comfortable place to sit, heading for the opening to the living room. I glance at the black shiny lacquered chair in the kitchen & wonder if that was alright, but he is headed or the l.r.

The black kitchen chair could mean ‘more suffering’ to gain more Light. But he has HAD ENOUGH, showing he can do no more – kind of disabled or ‘sick’ revealed by his symptoms. It does not show my condition but I’m following him to enjoy the fruits of our labors!