11-8-23 The Only Problem is He’s Dead lol
Without a doubt, this is Nick. No symbol, just him – a couple dreams.
In one it gets complicated. A man is in love with a lady & he is stalking her – not in an evil way, just looking for her everywhere.
There’s a ‘party’ so to speak down the hall & I know that lady is there, & I also know there’s a chance my Beloved Nick will be there. This man seeking is the husband of the lady he loves.
So I take this man down the hall & there in the doorway is a kind of average size, young male dressed in maybe blue & white, some vertical designs almost like a uniform. And he is BLOCKING the doorway & tells us,
“No one admitted.”
The man I’m with just disregards this person; after all, he has a right to see his wife. He barges in & right there against the far wall his wife is sitting maybe on a couch or bed, & across from her in a chair on the left is my Beloved Nick in a white t-shirt. I’ve seen pics of him in this outfit, with his hair in a soft Afro. He looks at me shyly. There was a question, is he dead or alive? This seems to say the latter.
I barged in also after the man, disregarding the blocker-boy.
MEANING:
*{This will tell us that Nick was obsessed as much as you were, seeking you wherever you might be downtown. You are as much his spiritual wife as he was your husband. You – the Higher Self, help him find you, the body.
You showed him where Rasa was. The male blocking the door is one of his friends, a symbol of all of them as they blocked him constantly from seeing you; they wanted him for themselves & on drugs. But he disregarded them.
You also disregarded these characters to get to Nick. Here the two of you are together, sitting across one another. He looks at your God Self shyly because he had trouble admitting he was madly in love, as you were. He told people ‘she’s obsessed with me’ but he held back the fact that he was also.
White t-shirt is ‘the pure in Heart shall see God,’ purity, innocence, the untarnished heart of someone. His heart was yours/God’s.}*
In another scene there’s a lady who tells me she wants to see Nick, she has a date with him or appt. She is in front of a mirror putting on makeup or dolling up, has on some kind of a show biz greenish dress, fancy. We seem to be entertainers, maybe dancers, a few of us around.
But I tell her,
“The only problem is, he’s dead.”
She tells me he just made the appt recently. So I say,
“Well he was alive then, but now he isn’t.”
She’s then eager to go to that appt as maybe I’m wrong, maybe he is alive.
Below, his parents, his Mom months before his death age 29, his little son
MEANING:
MG: This is to underscore a fact & one in your favor.
His female friend Ruthie had him while he was alive but now he’s dead TO HER NOT TO YOU – the TRUTH comes out – he’s yours.
She was his front. Hundreds of images of them on Face Book, he didn’t allow any of you & him. Why? The pics or video made of him guffawing over you taken by Terrance he ERASED. He kept up a charade. Why? His peers, mostly drug addicts. They shared a lifestyle, if he deviated from it he would have lost his coterie, his standing in this dubious community. He was their HERO & partially because you ran after him – a LEGEND is after our homie – & the professional images you took of him {he did it for party money—entrance to a dirt-bike race track in Unadilla where just admission cost $56. then– Famous for ‘partying’ which means drugs.} which you took that included nudes & erotic. These were put on your website which became the talk of the two bit hoods – they marveled at the size of his dick – it beat the Binghamton record. They RIDICULED him but it was a front for being IMPRESSED. One guy didn’t know I was the photographer & bragged to me about the size of it, like a kid bragging about his ‘big brother.’ He was soundly harassed about the pictures by these people & was ashamed & embarrassed, not realizing they really admired him behind their jokes.
Nick was the ‘class clown’ & the ‘life of the party’ with these folks. His love for me he KEPT SECRET partially, did not reveal it fully although some knew & tried to keep it under the rug
It was like,
“We know he loves Rasa but we will do all we can to keep it under the radar & pretend the lady he’s with is the important one – hide & forget Rasa.”
And he played along with this to gain their favor, to be the center of this world, {he admitted it on Face Book} for easy access to Cocaine & all the things they did together.
On his Face book there’s an OMINOUS UNDERCURRENT. In his own words he complains of having ‘no one to turn to’ {when I left him physically but never mentally} being devastated, wanting to die, ‘death is calling my name,’ he said he’d given in to the devil & now the devil was coming to get him for payback.
Some of his songs – one in particular – he mournfully called out to me saying how miserable he was, he’d made mistakes, take his heart. This one song was called ‘Cocaine & Broken Bottles,’ – if any of you is curious or a journalist see Lambo13 on SoundCloud.
Also if any of you cares to look that what I’m saying is the truth, check his Face Book & look back years of his predictions on his misery & death – I did, & somewhere or other I have his posts written down.
For his beautiful images see my site Embodiment of God, Shiva Shrines.
He took images with everyone but me, now he’s with me forever, lol. Where he’s in ‘formal’ attire is his Mom
