Mukked up on Purgatory 12-8-23

 Two missed chances to help Souls

         I fear this might refer to Purgatory so I must write it down, although I’m in a hurry to finish editing my book on the subject, & the dreams being recorded/analyzed does slow me down. However, here goes:

         At first, I’m doing something with delinquents, the guys I knew downtown, the locals, one of which was ‘JO’. He was tall & I was sort of attracted to him for sex although he was a creep. {suspect right away this to be my spiritual husband Nick, lol.}

We are walking about the street, what are we doing? Not sure, just killing time, entertaining ourselves.

One of the guys tells me he’d like to box with me, put up my dukes. I do like fighting – wrestling & boxing – so I go along with it, & I know I’m good at it too. But when we start he does a couple illegal things, can’t recall them both, but once thing is he starts BITING my wrists & hands!

I protest,

“What is this, a Tyson deal?”

{Tyson famously was biting his opponent’s ear.}

I have soft dark cuffs on my wrists, the kind I wear when working on the computer for hours to keep my right wrist from stress of the table.

We goof around, mess around, time to go home. My house is just like this but on a hill. I left some of my belongings with the people – maybe out of charity or gifts, & now I fear, did I accidentally leave my keys behind in a small cloth purse I might have left there? But thank God, I see I have the purse & attached to it are my keys, attached by those metal key holders, I’m SO RELIEVED.

 

There is a second trip. I must WALK back home. I walk a while on a road I think is OK. It gets more & more ‘country-fied.’ Then I turn a corner & the road, which was wide, is suddenly much narrower, like half what it was, & it has long soft green branches from bushes on either side bending into the road, completely covering it! I forgot to say, it snowed & snow is everywhere, including the road, but the branches have remained green like summer. {I also SENSE that possibly, past those green branches, the road might diminish more & it turns into wilderness – no road at all.} This CANNOT be the right road because a car wouldn’t be able to get through & my road always has access for cars. So back I go wherever I walked from.

 

Next, I try another road. This one seems really good. At first, it looks exactly like the way my regular road home is – that road I see so many times in my dreams, over a large hill – sometimes that road leads home but sometimes it’s just somewhere I MUST GO & then back track & go home. Again, there is snow everywhere, including the road. I know this road by the sign posts – the houses I pass by every time, on the left, some areas are wooded, etc. It has VARIATIONS but it’s the same familiar road, a road that changes, yet is the RIGHT ROAD.

 

This time I walk a LONG TIME. And then alas, I come to the END because in front of me, the road stops & there’s a LARGE QUIET BODY OF WATER, on the other side, a woods! And to the right of this dead end is a very old house – forgotten – made of white shingles that are worn with age – not sure if anyone lives there. I have the feeling that no one every comes here, even if someone is living in it, they are in solitude. And I have walked so long, might not be able to get home easily. If someone lives in this place would they give me shelter for the night? It is impossible to go on, not sure if I can get back today, it was a walk of hours. {end}

MEANING:

         *{ME: Speaking of lost, Mother God, I am. Can’t think definitely what this means except maybe the first one. That could refer to my being with the clients of Nick, who’s worked with me before on reaching Purgatory – so many drug addicted who passed.

There’s one who wants to play-fight but he ends up doing illegal things including biting my wrists & hands. I have on cuffs, which mean protection. And biting my hands is probably,

‘Biting the hand that feeds him.’

One of Nicks’ people is ungrateful for what I do for him, he hurts me. So I cannot help him at this time.

But I do ‘get home,’ I retained my keys, which means I succeeded, so I must have helped someone.

 

But the next two trips the scenery is covered with SNOW, including the road, & snow I believe means DECEPTION. It’s a tricky symbol, but snow SILENCES everything, it COVERS all things, so you can’t see what’s underneath. It can cover everything overnight & you wake up & can’t see anything it’s on. So snow SILENCES & COVERS – it hides – it can deceive.

Here I was somehow deceived that I was going right – thinking – doing – acting right, but I was WRONG.

What was I wrong about? What were my mistakes? I guess I failed at helping any more souls in Purgatory.

MOTHER GOD: If you consider what your schedule was part of the night you listened to your ‘inner voice’ but in doing so, at the end of the night, you realized you had not said your Masses, the one you always say, plus the extra that is a gift to them for Christmas.

Those two roads, then, are the Masses you MISSED SAYING. Again, you thought it was alright, you felt you could make up for them the next day, today. You’ve said 2 Masses now, let’s see if you’ll make up the other 2 or wiggle out of it, lol.

The good part is you did reach Nick’s friends & did some good.

ME: What are those green branches that bend over the road from both sides & cover it & beyond that, I fear the road ends, & then only wilderness?

MG: The leaves mean ‘victory’ but you are surrounded by snow. You are being deceived that it’s alright not to say a Mass.

ME:  And the second journey that dead ends, with the lake & very old house of solitude on the right? I have walked a long way, am wondering if there be any shelter there – Can’t go on, long way back.

MG: That’s the Christmas Mass you did not say. Can’t find shelter is someone you missed helping. They are in solitude, no one is reaching them – you sense the feeling of abandonment. The body of water before you is the Grace this soul could have gotten, but did not. You are feeling what the soul feels, all alone, walked or struggled a long while, need shelter, comfort, love, but is it forthcoming? – Uncertainty. The soul WAITS.

PS Immediately upon hearing this analysis of course I felt remorse & said those two Masses. I hope God reveals to me tonight if I reached that poor soul in the lonely, forgotten house!}*     {end}