College of God & Love, Core Tenets

the Godlike Kiss

10-12-23 the Godlike Kiss

Experiences of cycles in my life – from Action to contemplation back & forth

First I dreamed about a Guru couple, whom I shall name only ‘O & A.’ Can’t recall details, but they are married & do everything together including spiritual work {see bottom for a recollection}.

…….I was working in my apt in B’klyn. I know from a recent revelation this means a PORTAL to Purgatory! I’ve dreamed about this apt for YEARS not knowing it meant this & what a revelation!

So here I am working & working. A male seems to be with me & we work diligently. He’s in the living room, I’m in the kitchen.

Suddenly, this male walks over to me & we KISS & it is not a natural, but a SUPERNATURAL Kiss. The most incredible God-love flows from him to me & me to him. It’s then I realize this man is Nick, my Spiritual Husband.

What is unusual is that in real life Nick was 6’3”, but now he’s the exact same height as me. He’s wearing beige {contemplation}, his hair is light brown, short & he is wearing round glasses, vaguely see the rims black, the kind they wore in the 30’s & I have pics of my Dad with glasses like that.

The entire night I have dreams of working, it seems for hours upon hours, but for the life of me, can’t recall what I did. But I now know that most of my activities where I’m working, struggling & sometimes suffering or avoiding demonics or demons, has to do with my work for Purgatory. It’s because I made the ‘Heroic Act’ which says that every one of my tasks & activities, if it gains Grace, that Grace goes directly to them.

I think that’s what God is showing me this night – that all I do is for Souls in Purgatory.

One reason could be that I must sleep a lot is because so much of my time is spent in REM sleep, rather than the deep sleep where no visions occur. Someone told me my eyes move constantly {under closed lids} when I sleep.

But for all the hours & hours of activity in my dreams I can only recall the remarkable Kiss.

MEANING:

I’ve already explained most of it but a couple things. One, why is Nick now my height? Because he’s ‘just like me’. Like O & A, both Gurus, he is now working for Souls in Purgatory! This is a great Gift from God! Being the same height could be partners, mates, ‘twin flames’ – ‘Soul Mates.’

The glasses could be that he’s like my Dad, the person who taught me what love is & the man I loved more than anyone else in my life. Nick finally took his place, which no one else could!

Next day recalled one scene: Guru Lady A is standing behind a portable ‘ladder’ that came down from the sky, the kind that just ‘hangs’, like what I once had long ago made of metal links you could use to climb out of your 2^nd story window. But this looks kind of ‘solid’ metal, but it hangs from the air – I can’t see from where it came.

A is standing behind it so she is slightly ‘concealed’ & had hung a folded medium-sized towel on a rung. I vaguely think it’s purple. I imagine Guru O, her mate, across from her looking at her but don’t really see him. A is dressed in sort of sleek or simple but glamorous clothes, her hair is quasi bouffant, dark brown. She’s calm.

10-13-23 the Rainstorm Blocks my Usual Road

I have been busy traveling & dong some work when I decide it’s time to go home. I drive to an intersection & happy to see across from me, is the usual road I have taken hundreds of times in dreams. It’s a country road over a height. Right now I can’t see the road but know it’s there. It’s hidden by a fog or mist which in front has a huge metallic arm like off a machine, maybe farm equipment or construction equipment, but all is so hazy I can’t tell what it is.

But as I embark on the road the fog/haze dissipates & I can see. The road will shortly go up a steep hill & then into a medium sized mountain. It is raining & has been for a while. I see a beige car to my right {like I used to have so it’s my past} where the driver is wondering if it’s safe, as he’s already going through foot deep puddles & still raining. And I do worry for him.

But I’m not on the road & not in a vehicle. I am traveling by air – floating, wearing these platform heels – beige – with 4” spikes, & a beige baby doll type outfit with fluff on the edges as I sail through the air toward the mountain.

I’m going over rolling hills covered with a vegetation such as I saw yesterday in a movie, some kind of Heather in Autumn which has grown golden/beige & fluffy,– only about 6” & is a fluff over the hills. I seem to be alright in spite of everything until a powerful wind hits my back, & it’s so strong it threatens to take me over that road on my right & beyond that road I imagine there’s a large body of water. If I lose control over my body that wind could take me there & I could drown, so being alarmed, I quickly turn around while I can & return the way I came, then I am safe.

MEANING:

This hearkens to a road, path, or way of acting/behaving– something I’ve done so many times. But right now an ILL WIND & OMINOUS RAIN tell me not to take this road – it could endanger me, even get me killed. Killing does not have to be physical; it could mean failure of some sort.

My best guess is not {or I am not} to play the REVEALING role I’m accustomed to – the lady from the adult trade, naked, vulnerable, ‘on stage,’ at the mercy of everyone. This was my job in the past to get me ‘home’ or where I wanted to go – home being a place of comfort, success & safety {like making a ‘home run’ in baseball, reaching a beneficial conclusion.}

In the past I was EXPOSED – in the OPEN. Now I live SECRET or PRIVATE which is THE BETTER PART. Yes the platforms & spikes I did wear – actual shoes I have & wore}, & yes, I suffered by being in this trade, & now as they say, time to ‘throw in the towel’ or turn in your equipment when a job is done. So one phase of my life is OVER – referring to ‘Martha’, the ACTIVE live, & now the contemplative or private/with God life is before me.

I go back to the previous dream & it might refer to the same subject. Guru A, who is now working with Guru O, is myself & Nick.

A ladder comes down from Heaven or God & I put my folded towel on it, purple. This makes me think of ‘throwing in the towel,’ & purple means suffering.

My life goes in CYCLES. In the Guru dream, it reminds me what God said long ago before I became a Cougar,

“I want you to stop suffering, quit celibacy, go out & have fun.”

{Except it didn’t work that way, I suffered again – my inner God recently told me,

“I didn’t know YOU WOULD SUFFER THAT MUCH”

& when I asked but isn’t She God, doesn’t She know everything?

She said,

“I’m only the Little God within you, not the Almighty who knows all, sees all, can do all things. I do not have that kind of power although I am vastly superior to you & have the qualities of God but not to the degree Almighty Mother has.

And at that time God was telling me a long cycle of contemplation was over, time to return to the active life, I resisted, God insisted.}

ME: Do these two scenes refer to the same thing or are they different? Is it trying to tell me that I should quit, or have quit, a certain role or behavior? The second dream warns of dire consequences.

MG: They are about the cycles of your life. Most recently went out to the bars/restaurants, met a lot of people, spoke to them about God, & you were also unhappy just as you ended up when being a Cougar.

You have been most happy when you’re alone, with God, being with animals, praying, writing.

Being in the world you did first in your youngest days, being a dancer. Eventually ou became celibate & remained so for 30 years plus. Then I told you to go out & have ‘fun,’ which lasted 11 years. You went back to writing & wrote 9 volumes of “I Strip for God” in 2 years. Then you got eyestrain, couldn’t work on the computer, & experimented with starting a face-to-face local ministry. You tried but it didn’t work, ever a few months your eyes got better, you quit trying that fruitless task & went back to the Interior life where you dwell now in happiness.

In the Guru A scene God gives you back your Union or ability to reach God {by letting down a ladder, which is metal, which means ‘God’s Will’ like the NAILS in Jesus’ hands & feet!} – your Spiritual faculties, Gifts, being animated again. God has reached you again, you reach God. You ‘throw in the towel’ for the ‘me with people’ work – Nick is a relevant part.

What does Guru O or Nick have to do with it? You went out to ‘have fun’ but it wasn’t – & you found your Soul Mate. But he was an addict & tortured you {anyone who’s been next of kin or spouse to an addict understands}. The chasing / suffering / addict part is now closed. He’s with you forever, in the state of contemplation as it shows him wearing beige. It’s a spiritual relationship, the flesh is gone, the pain with it – you have the fulfillment of this relationship, you’re together forever. {end}

About a Week Ago

I dreamed this: My bottom yard has two tunnels, one on each end of the yard. From the back tunnel, which leads to my wilderness, there is water gushing so hard that as it comes through it sprays 20’ into the air. It forms a series of creeks in the yard that run like pretzels all through it. Then it stops, it’s quiet, & I’m telling someone how incredible it was.

This dream describes the Grace of God, which came in with such force. The Grace is left within the creeks below which means the Grace stays with me.

Here there is an example of water meaning two different things. Symbols can be ‘bad’ or ‘good.’ In the ‘road to home’ dream the water was OMINOUS, in this dream it is the Grace of God.

A symbol can represent multiple things, decided by the context of the dream. For instance fire. Fire can be destructive, ruining or eating up your entire property. But fire was also Flames of the Holy Spirit above the heads of the Holy Persons during Pentecost, & it was the Burning Bush that appeared to Moses – which was God.

Black also means opposite things. It can be the worst depression, a funeral, an ending. But it’s also a great Mystery – something we cannot understand, a symbol of God, like St. John of the Cross said, “God is blackness to us.” And so during the ‘dark night of the Soul’ we are actually coming CLOSER to God, although we cannot see, sense or perceive God! It is not the time of consolation, when we do perceive God, it is the time of blindness to God – darkness, as we come closer to the One we don’t Know or Understand.

And so in this series of dreams we have two examples of water, one ominous, forbidding, destructive, & the other is life-giving. Note that in the famous symbol of an umbrella protecting you from the rain – from caking up your salt to protecting your investments – rain is bad, the umbrella good. During a severe drought, the prophet Elijah prayed for rain & when it appeared, it was from God. {end}

College of God & Love, Core Tenets

Jesus/God’s Love Visits

9-28-23 Tom Selleck-Symbol of JESUS/GOD’s Love Visits

This is INCREDIBLY important to me. But before I get to the Selleck part, I must give the preamble, because without it {happening in real life} there could be no Part II.

Had I gotten up after Part I – I would have had no idea WHY I had this strange preamble, because I did wake up & go back to sleep but went to sleep again – thank God. Because then I had the monumental Jesus dream.

Preamble:

I have my Rottweiler ‘Guard of the Mystical Heart’ {Gagee Boy} with me & he’s trailing a contraption made of metal, maybe iron, which goes where he goes. But we have been ‘arrested’ by the authorities, him & me, & now; they have detached the contraption from him & have it behind a counter, where a Lady in authority is inspecting it with a female assistant.

{MY ROTTWEILER: Dogs & cats are INNER SENSES – because their sense of smell, hearing is much more acute than ours. And these senses of ours are psychic or metaphysical. In this case, I suspect my SENSE is my CONSCIENCE. And the conscience or awareness of my sins, the result thereof, I drag wherever I go.}

{Sense image material is I was watching a movie, ‘Owd Bob’ mostly about dogs with one shepherd dog suspected of killing sheep.}

OK, the boss Lady {Holy Virgin, who prepares me for the love of Christ/God} is going through this contraption one compartment at a time. The thing is a brown rust-color which goes round & round as you pull it, & has about 5 compartments.

{FIVE COMPARTMENTS: 5 ways in which I sinned, now must be cleansed. What are these sins? Must be mental as the mostly grey signifies that. I am not aware of sins, but it’s amazing how many thoughts we can have that are UNCHARITABLE!}

As I watch the lady shows me each compartment which is full of some version of shit. It all comes out of the dog’s body but is preserved here where he drags it along with him. She scrapes out each section. They do not stink nor are they disgusting, they are like firm soup. {Not SERIOUS sins, which would be vile, venial or small sins – The one with the strongest smell is light brown, the rest are grayish in color, but all are waste & all are scraped out by her [one that is most serious has the worst smell & is brown rather than grey]}. I exclaim,

“Wherever he went, this thing with its smell would go with him!”

And I thought about how inconvenient it would be if people could smell it. {I thought of how my sins would be repulsive to other people.}

The thing is this situation we were arrested for something is not righteous. The lady scraped out all the gunk, it was made right. I don’t think it was attached to my dog any more, but I see nothing else. {She cleansed me!}

Tom Selleck – Jesus dream

Tom Selleck appears for only one reason & that alone – It has to do with my sacrificing my ‘life’ {spiritually}, in attaining the Interior Divine Stigmata, & Tom Selleck is always the symbol of Jesus. Why? I explain elsewhere, it’s in my book on the Attainment of the Divine Stigmata & my articles. {See end of this ‘Meaning’ for more explanation.}

Tom, in his appearance, is the BEAUTY of Jesus Christ, as Tom, in his day as Magnum P.I., was the most handsome & sexy man in the world.

So now I am living in this nice house which vaguely sounds like my present one but different. I am expecting Tom, who is my lover & I his mistress, – but mind you, he is a great celebrity & this

is a big deal. {Jesus/God is a great celebrity indeed! And for me to be His Mistress is what an honor!}

I can see my driveway through a window, & as I look through it, I see Tom drive up in a black car like a limousine. {Symbol of FUNERAL like a HEARSE – because it’s about my MARTYRDOM for the LOVE OF HIM.} He stops, however, as my large grey cat is sitting sort of at the edge of my front porch {the driveway is adjacent to the porch}

{my CAT is another SENSE like my dog. What of my SENSES makes him HESITATE? It could be my cat/feminine self is watching out for any MAN as I have once again forfeited any relationship with men, & this symbol is saying that this renunciation might have improved my chances for being closer to God! It was one point I had a chance to be friends with a young handsome male, but when St Charbel told me he would leave me if I pursued it, I dropped it!}

& the top of the driveway & he doesn’t want to hit my cat. But after a pause he steers clear of the cat by driving to his right a bit & he’s here.

I run to the front door to greet him – he’s dressed in mostly black, {funeral-my martyrdom} there’s a bit of white under his neck with intricate black tiny designs. {What is this? It’s a ‘cravat’ in a triangle shape, the flat part on top, bottom tucked into his vest – White is a symbol of purity or goodness, not sure how this applies} We embrace warmly, my face pressing to the side of his face, I’m careful not to kiss on the lips because I’ve been asleep, have not brushed my teeth, & fear morning mouth. I tell him,

“I’ve not brushed my teeth yet!”

to let him know why no kissing.

*{EMBRACE BUT NO KISS as I’ve been sleeping, have not brushed my teeth yet, etc. Brushing teeth, teeth are either wisdom or have to do with anger or gnashing teeth – which would be regret. KISSING would be being PERFECT so that his wife, Mary Magdalene, in her Gospel, said He KISSED her on the lips. So that would be absolute perfection. At the moment, I FEEL I’m not there yet – He didn’t say it, nor did Holy Mary tell me I wasn’t

perfect – I said it. So this shows a lack of confidence on my part, I’m not ready to be in absolute perfect Union with God, but good enough to hug, embrace, & he His Mistress.}*

He is extremely warm & open to me & sits down for our visit.

We passed the front room which seems dim. We’re in the next or ‘back’ room which seems like a dining room as it has in the middle a table. I imagine it to be beautiful – like walnut or oak,

with beautiful chairs, but I don’t actually see it, just think it’s probably that way.

{BACK ROOM MORE INTERIOR is the Sanctum Sanctorum, which would be the deeper, more mystical place inside me. The table I imagine to be luxurious is where I would celebrate a Feast, the Holy Mass, & do whatever pleases Jesus/God, like my prayers.}

An interesting occurrence is across the table my MAID has taken Tom’s black vest, & without anyone asking her, is IRONING it for him, as a special service. I’m really proud of this act, because it proves to Tom that I am equipped to serve him, maid & all, without even being asked. My maid knows automatically what to do.

She is beautiful with short wavy blonde hair to the nape of her neck, thin, & dressed like a maid I think white. I notice her iron – that she got the iron – it was handy. I am trying to impress Tom with my service to him & here I have a maid, she got the iron, did what should be done without anyone asking.

{MY MAID is one of my Guardian Angels {I have 3}. Her IRONING Jesus’ vest – ironing is straightening out. His black vest signifies His HEART as the vest is right over the heart. What service is my Angel giving Jesus? It is my DAILY PRAYERS, which I have enjoined them to say when I am unable. My prayers can be comprehensive & average last 1 to 2 or even 3 hours. But sometimes I am distracted, too busy or tired to say them, but I want them said. So I recruit my angels to say them for me, & this is portraying it’s a service to Jesus/God & this confirms that one of my Angels has indeed complied with my request! This shows us that it serves God when we pray for the whole world, people, animals & Purgatory!}

There to my left, in front of him as he sits at the foot of the table, is a huge picture window, at least 5-6’ across, 4-5’ high. And through it we see miles of meadow & way far away, a rural village with low houses, no higher than two floors – this would be like 10 miles away. I know it’s a village for the roofs, see one red one. I say,

“Beautiful view, isn’t it?”

And Tom agrees.

The view from my house is important also, as a thing to accommodate Tom, make him feel good in my house. I wanted to tell him that at another point of my property {which is extensive} when you stand on a hill you can see miles also & the horizon looks like a large body of water even though it isn’t. But I don’t get a chance to tell him.

{THE VIEW from my window & another place on my property: When we have CHARITY we have VISION. That’s the difference between Heaven & Hell or Purgatory. The closer one is to God, the more VISION they have, the more they SEE of God/Goodness. Purgatory vision is limited, Hell it’s almost gone, one sees nothing but horror or terror. Purgatory has a great deal of variety. Heaven is always beautiful, to various degrees, dependent on how much charity or radiance one has. So I’m kind of bragging to Jesus how much vision I have for both Him & I to enjoy!}

Now we’re chatting. I get the sense that Tom {Jesus, God} has many fan clubs – I’m just one of them, & each club has a mistress of his, the way I am. I mustn’t be jealous or pry into his personal details.

Strangely, I ask him,

“I know this is far fetched, but what happened to the son of your first wife?”

This goes back to the time of his Magnum days when I was reading everything I could find about him & read about his wife & the son he adopted.

{FIRST WIFE & SON: I am probably asking him about Mary Magdalene, his wife many think, & a son….or any children He may have had}

I can’t recall what he tells me, but obviously, the boy is grown up. This was 1981-82.

Then I’m asking him about one of his fan clubs. He kind of receded into the hallway between this & the first room, to do something, I don’t know what. But as I ask he looks at me mischievously like I am getting personal. He doesn’t mind but as I said, looks mischievous, I see his face clearly, & I say,

“I don’t mean to pry into anything personal.”

The idea is he’s a great celebrity, much desired, has many fan clubs & I am one of his mistresses.

*{I SENSE that I’m asking our Lord about what Sri Kaleshwar said, that many women asked him to ‘Bless their flower,’ & He obliged, & he had many children, none of whom became spiritual greats, just regular people. His withdrawing from my inner sanctum to in between the front room & here & He looking mischievous seems to say IT WAS TRUE, lol. But it’s OK & I apologize for prying. His moving to this other spot is I am

thinking slightly as a mortal rather than my God Self – I’m curious.}*

MEANING:

Something has happened to improve or move forward in your relationship with God. Tom/Jesus represents God but in a particular way, when He appears as Tom Selleck it’s about your sacrifice for the love of Jesus/God. You prayed for the Interior Divine Stigmata, you got it. Not knowing exactly what it was, how it would affect you, you still took the plunge, knowing it would be no picnic, but not understanding the loss. You knew it would be pain but did not know what kind of pain, how you’d be afflicted & how long. Stigmata is Martyrdom, but Martyrdom takes many shapes & sizes. There is physical Martyrdom, which takes many forms from having your head chopped off to being tortured to death slowly as in the Inquisition, to being burned alive, to being boiled in turpentine & oil, like the Catholic Church did to some Souls, or having the Physical Wounds of Jesus appear on your Body to suffer & bleed. Then there’s Psychological Martyrdom, where a person endures an abusive relationship for a protracted time, or takes care of a cripple or one mentally ill for years, or is a slave with no rights & tortures for a long time, or unjustly imprisoned for years or some kind of torture like paralysis. Then there’s SPIRITUAL MARTYRDOM which is what God meted out to you. This is where you lost all your Spiritual Faculties, the Gifts of the Holy Spirit – your Sensitivity to God, your communication with Her, all was DISABLED – & this for EIGHTEEN YEARS. It was a special Dark Night of the Soul. And you had to live by Faith with nothing else all that time – God was a memory – you still had to be faithful to God, keep your promises such as celibacy, & not falter in your love of God, although there was no consolation.

However, there was a REASON for all this & what was it? It was your LOVE of Jesus/God! It was not for nothing. As Tom Selleck, Jesus appears as the most beautiful, sexy male & He comes to GIVE YOU LOVE – to return to you what you gave Him!

That’s why it’s so special, enjoyable & ecstatic when He appears this way!

Other details of the symbols & meanings are in the body of the dream.

The preamble is Our Holy Mother, preparing/cleansing you for this visit from Our Lord Jesus Christ, Her Holy Son. She’s assisted by an Angel. {end}

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