Serving Poor Souls with Nick
3-16-24 Arnold-Success-Running
Some startup scenes that are now vague, but what stands out strongly is I am jogging hard over this dirt road that goes up a slowly sloping tall hill, it’s a long way, & the road is glistening but not muddy in the least. I am running with all my might – Arnold is right behind me & trying to go as fast as me & overtake me, but so far he can’t. There’s a third person behind Arnold who’s keeping up but has no chance of beating us.
MEANING:
*{Dirt road over hill is the road of CALVARY or carrying the Cross, & the road GLISTENING is the dew of the Holy Spirit – important that it’s NOT muddy, just glistening to show Grace.
It features to effort of my HEART which means LOVE, shows great love. The successful person behind me {Arnold is always success} is NICK trying his best to love as much as I am, but he cannot overtake me. And the third person behind us both is either the Holy Lady present with us, or else my Guardian Angel {one of the 3} – or then again my Mother God within me. {But then who am I? One of my multiple personalities?} the Holy Lady, like Our Lord, could be the manifestation of a Being like her which has come to exist within my myriad of ‘multiple personalities.’}
I sense myself going with all my might again & again, the strength seems to come from my heart & I’m thinking my heart has improved. Arnold wants to be as good as me, I sense his trying harder again & again but he can’t beat me. I don’t know why this is so important, but it is, that I must be the front runner.
Then we come to a sharp right-bend in the road. To the right of it is an Apricot-colored stone staircase of about 3-4 tiers, beyond that maybe a stone monument. In front of this edifice is a small bush, the trunk about 4’ then a kind of pyramidal shape evergreen maybe 3 ½’ tall. There’s a narrow path between the building & the bush, & the question is, will I run across this path or stay on the bigger road? I do the path but then at that moment both Arnold & I stop & both agree it’s time for a break! We’ve run what seems like an hour, we’ve crossed the top of the hill.
*{This sounds like a choice between the ‘narrow’ road – ‘few who go there,’ & the ‘broad road’ – the two ways of operating , working or living, the narrow being the mystical plane, the broad being the earthly. And I am on the mystical plane, serving Souls in Purgatory.
To the right of this narrow road is a monument or mausoleum to the Dead, & in front the Evergreen of Eternal Life. This is where I am, where I work, where I belong – my happy place.
Here we ‘take a break’ or rest – we have done enough for a time – God rested on the 7th day, so must we. After all, we went over ‘the hump’ or the top of the hill.}*j
Now Arnold & I hug warmly. He’s got his back to the road, I’m on the left side facing him, & he’s much taller. He’s wearing a dull grey/blue top clinging to him, his abdomen is sticking somewhat past his chest, & I kiss the area just below his neck joyfully with my arms around him warmly. The third person with us apparently is a lady & she’s sitting to our left, a large person, observing us. I am slightly afraid of her.
Arnold says something makes me laugh,
“Do you want a shave?”
I know he doesn’t mean face he means the pubic hair growing down my thighs. I tell him it isn’t like it used to be, most of it is grey or white, you can’t see it much. But he finds a golden {blonde} lump like a locket, & holds it up to me & says,
“What’s this?”
I smile & give it back to him saying,
“I wouldn’t give this to anyone but you.”
Then as we sit I find another blonde clump like that & another, totaling 3 or 4 & now there’s a pile of pubic hair next to us with those lumps inside. I was happy abut that, my pubic presence is not over like I thought, lol.
*{PUBIC HAIR: Represents fertility, an abundance of it if there’s a lot of hair, as the vagina is the beginning of life/birth. It begins in the vagina with intercourse, a symbol of Union with God, & this comes to completion with the birth as the child exits the vagina-symbol of being born into God’s world.
I’m kind of saying to Arnold/Nick that I’m not fertile any more & he points out a golden locket of hair which says otherwise – this represents a child born out of our love – one of the Souls arisen! And I’m saying to him that it was both of us who did it – I give him credit, I would not ‘give’ this credit to anyone but him. I am enlivened by his discovery & I find more children that we begot from Purgatory into Heaven – the gold lockets of hair, born out of Love.
*{The fact that I feel a slight fear of her shows me this is my Mother God – as we had a serious conflict when I was obsessed with Nick on earth – she threatened to kill me if I didn’t give up my earthly obsession, leave him alone & allow her to have him! At the time it didn’t make sense, but in light of future events it does. I had to get over the earthly addiction to Nick & step aside for Mother God who must be dominant. In time I did – by 2019. I never feel fear for Our Holy Lady or my Guardian Angel. And yet, consider, Mother God within me is FOLLOWING Nick & me, not me following her, which shows that what person or personality is evident here? Oh, things get nuanced! My mortal self had to be spiritualized & surrendered to God, not obsessed by addiction to the feel good feeling of being with him!
My hugging & the kiss is kissing his heart, by which he tried so hard to love as strongly as me, tried with all his ight – I am grateful. His protruding abdomen means ‘pregnancy’ & tat means nurturing a soul the way a Mom nurtures a fetus – a Soul that will be born into Heaven. All this gives me great joy.
And his shirt is one of sorrow – he feels earthly sorrows as do I, all of which translate into Grace for Souls.}*
There were scenes after that but they’ve faded too much. I was coming over the hill with a man, both running but not concertedly, casually. We seem to have accomplished something & getting ready to do something else. I see a medium beige knitted sweater & flowers knitted of the same on the right shoulder of the sweater, it’s all vague.
Oh yes, here’s a scene. I know Arnold loves me, he proved it on our run, & this is permanent. But I am told he was with another woman before me, & this man way to the right knew them both. For some reason I aim impelled to go to him & ask him about it. He’s working on something as he sits, & it’s in front of him like before his lap. I bend to him & say,
“You knew my husband when he was with this other woman. Could you tell me about it?”
He just sits there saying nothing. I ask him again, he says nothing. So I just walk away. This man reminds me of my neighbor who helps me around the landscaping & lawn mowing. He’s not articulate, just a working class guy.
*{Who is this guy who new them both & I want to ask him about her? It seems to be Nick himself, as he was then, his mind set. He does not want to talk about her. Means he doesn’t want to recall her or go back there. Means he was not happy there, as if something gave you joy you’d want to return, if it was painful, you want to forget.}* {end}
3-15-24 Elvis several dreams
I dreamed of Elvis several times in the last week which is not the usual. I had no idea who Elvis represented but in one dream I mused abut being madly in love with him from age 10 to 12, & now, here he is. But this last dream he came to me & kissed me & it was so real & ecstatic after thinking I know its NICK, my spiritual husband. I began to wonder, is Nick a reincarnation of Elvis? I doubt it, Elvis is but a symbol because I loved him so much & then that love fell into Nick.
Nick died of an overdose of drugs – I believe it was suicide after I gave him an ultimatum he couldn’t keep – leave his drug partner, go into rehab. We both knew – I explained it to him – that we’d be united forever in life & in death – we were mystically married & it was forever. He knew he’d be with me as soon as he died, he wanted to be with me & here he is.
He’s living an unusual lifestyle united to me, as he is enjoying my spiritual heights but also my earthly sufferings. It’s his Heaven but also his Purgatory. And he is assisting me, to my surprise, with getting Souls consoled & lifted out of Purgatory – this is unusual as I don’t yet consider him a ‘Saint’ where only Saints or souls in Heaven can use my portal to deliver Souls – but there it is. I guess it proves that anyone who has at least one foot in Heaven can assist me this way.
3-12-24 Helping Poor Souls
In the midst of these dreams there was one where I for sure was helping the Poor Souls.
I’m to go on a big TV show & there’s lots of rigmarole about that – Like I have to qualify as a guest to be interviewed or to perform.
In the end I know I succeed. I see a fancy skirt made of fluffy layers, split in the middle, where I’m dancing. Then there’s a luminous violet metallic piece of material I think about taking but realize it isn’t mine so I can’t. Clothing like this – costumes & metallic cloth – represents Gifts & Lights for Souls.
I also find my purse intact, filled with money & all my valuables, on a table where I feared some strangers at the show might have stolen. Purse means value of what I have.
The rest has faded out of memory. {end}
