By Rasa Von Werder, March 28th, 2021



3-27-21 Lover’s turmoil & Changes




First of several dreams. There’s this male who is with a certain woman like married. But another female & I are both infatuated with him, looking at him, but we know he isn’t available & it would somehow be wrong to seduce him. But I do say,
“You know how easy it is to get a male to have sex with you.”
Then the next thing you know, he is walking away with her at his right, holding onto him – she has seduced him. I am hurt & disappointed, {know she did wrong} but not ‘down & out.’

*(THE OTHER WOMAN & I: I surmise this is Betty & myself infatuated with the ultimate Beloved, but he is with ME – believe it or not – my FLESH, it is the God Self dreaming. The God Self had not yet taken over, which eventually, the terrible conflict would be flesh vs God Self, & the flesh part HAD TO DIE & the God Self take over in order to have a good relationship.}
Now the OTHER WOMAN, not the one meant for him, Mrs. WRONG, has SEDUCED HIM & is going away with him. I don’t GIVE UP, I chase him while he’s with her.)

I rally my spirits & run over to him, he has his arm out to the left like a triangle, {hand on hip} & I put my arm into his. This MAKES HIM MAD. I see in this arm position like a bow of the ‘bow & arrow’ set, no arrow, just bow, & the middle of the bow forms an extreme two round parts touching each other, at first I think like lips, the I realize this symbolizes HEART. He says to me,

*(BOW, LIKE LIPS OR HEART: He cannot escape my heart, or the fact that he loves me, I him, & THIS MAKES HIM MAD because at the time, he WAS mad at me, not speaking to me – took off with the other woman, wanted to punish me for not doing what he wanted but he could not erase me from himself.)*
“Hold my SHIELD.”
And I say
It was a STRONG STATEMENT. Something was off about what he was doing – it was wrong – it was doomed to failure I’m telling him.

*(HOLD MY SHIELD: I tell him he HAS NONE. He is saying he has a SHIELD against my LOVE or HEART, that he can protect himself or steel himself against me, BUT HE CAN’T. The LOVE he has for me is indelible, embedded on him inside; he cannot stop it, escape it or remove it, so I tell him. And because of this, what he’s doing is WRONG {being with the other woman} & it’s DOOMED TO FAILURE.)*

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I am with Lover. We’re in a second floor room in a place I’ve never seen,

*(PLACE I’VE NEVER SEEN, WHERE WE ARE: Means a NEW REVELATION, being or seeing something new I might not have understood before or been aware of.)*

& for a moment I step onto the landing of the staircase to see what’s going on. I see some cops in black come in,

*(COPS IN BLACK: My vocabulary, cops are always ANGELS. Since there are 3 could be my GUARDIAN ANGELS because I have three. It means they’re bringing me a message or revelation, & they are in black explains, maybe ‘WHY THE FUNERAL’ or why he & I are apart. Or why he disappeared from social media temporarily {he removed himself – it seems to hide from me.})*

2 or 3 of them – from the left to right from outside onto the 1st floor hallway. Their outfits are not normal, they are kind of rounded like plastic curving around their heads {I know it sounds weird} like HOODS. I look back to the room we were in together & see he’s closed the door – why?

*(HE’S CLOSED THE DOOR, WHY? Why has he closed the door to me on social media? This will reveal the secret. COPS ARE WEARING ROUNDED HOODS that hide them completely – why he is hiding from me. He knows from the past that somehow I was looking at his social media except he did not know how, so he figured out a way how to hide {except GOD SHOWED ME HOW TO FIND HIM})*

The door has no KNOB or handle on either side, it’s one of those made of a thin layer on both sides, like plywood, only about a quarter inch thick – & inside the door 2 or 3″ hollow. I assume he closed the door for something private which could only be SEX, but nevertheless, I push open the door & walk in.

*(HE CLOSED THE DOOR, NO HANDLE EITHER SIDE, BUT I PUSHED IT IN: Hahaha, God showed me how to find his social media even though he fixed it so I for a while could not find it {about 3 months or so, not that I cared that much, but was somewhat curious at times, mostly never thought about him any more.})*

He’s on the bed, lying on his left side, facing the wall.

*(FACING THE WALL: A definite sign of DEPRESSION. Wearing MY HAIR is our ONENESS – he is me, I am he, because we are MYSTICALLY MARRIED or one SPIRIT, bonded, united.
No HANDLE EITHER SIDE is I have no social media he can spy on me on – no handle – & he did the same TO ME – tit for tat. {He is incredibly revengeful.}
His motive for this nonsense? He tried to get my gander for a long time, on social media, putting all sorts of innuendos & issues to get me riled up or jealous, but I responded to nothing. So now he says to himself ‘I will fix it so she doesn’t see me any more, that’s one way of getting even with her for not responding, haha’……Except I got around him.
The THIN construction of the door plus it is HOLLOW is what?
How EASY it was for me to GAIN ACCESS once I saw the trick. In other words, not a solid door, not IRON or so heavy you can’t move it – light & easy.)*

His hair is a female’s – exactly like I once saw of a super-busty stripper named Candy, platinum blonde, part of it crimped. He’s taken on her identity I sense.

*(HAIR, PLATINUM, CRIMPED: Crimped hair is done with an IRON. It’s a series of WAVES. This MIGHT show stubbornness, hardness in my THOUGHTS or ATTITUDE, that is, me deciding not to see him & therefore not to have sex with him. Hair is the thoughts coming out of the head, being IRONED shows being made a CERTAIN WAY that cannot be easily changed, it is SET IN ITS WAYS OR WAVES.)*

We were being affectionate on the bed before, but not sex, but he’s inviting me. I wasn’t quite ready, but I comply. He’s now naked, covers off, thin, white skinned like a ghost with grey shadows {I know it’s hard to picture but you know how people have dark spots under or around their eyes, his body is white, like a ghost almost, but there are shadows accentuating it.}


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As I lay myself over his body, with his dick close to my face to the right, I don’t really want to have sex, but I will do it to make him happy. Then something startling happens. His body morphs into two people, two bodies close to each other, both him, like twins. One of them has that hairdo like mine, the other I don’t know what.

*(HE MORPHS INTO 2 BODIES, ONE HAS MY HAIR: There might be more than one message here. The first, I already mentioned, he is me, I am he, we are one. But the second message now is he is trying to do to me what I did to him – ghosting me as I ghosted him, in other words, his typical revenge – which he has done to me for years. {He can’t learn his lesson to just do the right thing, he has to be immature & play games…..all he has to do is call me!}

His body, as I lay over it, has long strips of white elastic moist body fluids – like sperm or spit – it’s like several feet long from his knees to his shoulder. The whole business is strongly sexual, but right now, to be honest, I’m no longer into sex, I have lost my desire for it, so it isn’t a great feeling, but I’m ‘playing along with it.’

*(STRINGS LIKE SPERM: That’s what it’s all about, the revenge, the ghosting. I ghosted him for sex, he ghosts me on the media, haha, games. But this also shows he is tied to me BY THE STRINGS OF SEX, HE STILL CARES, STILL LOVES ME, WANTS ME. I have won the game.)*

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Then there’s this club. I am with my girl friend, talking. We are or I am at a loss to where my Beloved has gone, but the MYSTERY IS SOLVED. My lady friend tells me he now works at THIS CLUB where he’s some sort of a bouncer/manager, & the place is filled with waitresses, & he’s good looking & a whoremaster, so many of them go to the ‘COAT ROOM’ where he’s standing, helping put away people’s coats – I see a girl leaning on him front ways, as many have, with the thought they are going to do sex. It’s like he DOESN’T CARE – they’re just BODIES. Here he looks like a guy I knew was a bouncer who told me he had no feelings about sex, just wanted to get off, cold hearted.

*(LIKE THE GUY TOLD ME HE HAD NO FEELINGS ABOUT SEX, just wants to get off on their bodies: This is telling me he has no heart, no love, for these other girls, he does them with no feelings. But he doesn’t want me to know that, but I do know it.
The COATROOM implies SECRECY, a secret room or closet where no one sees.)*

I’m not dressed to go to a club or to see Beloved, but I have on my black bathrobe with the white lining, I put the HOOD over my head. My hair is long & crimped – it’s beautiful, thick. Lady friend is also casually dressed, but for some reason, we go to the club, thinking we could go incognito, covered up like this – but – alas, he recognizes me!

*(BLACK BATHROBE WITH WHITE LINING OVER MY HEAD, I HOPE HE DOESN’T RECOGNIZE ME, BUT HE DOES: According to this, he knows I have discovered him – not sure how he knows unless he’s psychic or has a dream. This says I wanted to hide or be incognito, but it doesn’t work.)*

I had my back to him, & my side, where you can’t see my face, & the robe basically hides my body, & yet, from my walk & somehow he knew it was me & he said, “OH NO” meaning I had FOUND HIM as he tried to ESCAPE ME. But you see, my lady friend knew where he was somehow!

*(MY LADY FRIEND: Is who? My God Self figured it out?
HOW HE RECOGNIZES ME: I must ask Mother God, it baffles me. In the dream you can’t see my face, but my hair does show, it’s that crimped platinum blonde hair, very full. I had no makeup on, not fixed up, not ready, didn’t want him to see. How did he see me?

MOTHER GOD: The hair represents your will, mind, thoughts, & that connects with feelings. He SENSED it or READ YOUR MIND as you read his.
He KNOWS you don’t want to see him or him you yet – that you aren’t ready. He’s trying to be strong like you, but he isn’t, just stubborn.
He made a post/poem about being BROKEN HEARTED – but he DOESN’T WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS – on his social media. He said, among other things,
* you are beautiful
* he talks about your hair – & look – in these dreams the HAIR is PROMINENT
* you drive him crazy & he cannot focus {he is not talking about his common law wife Betty, it is obviously you, you are not there, you have broken his heart. Betty is waiting there with her thighs open, haha.}
* his pain is great & the drugs numb it
And so, case closed. All this REVEALS SOMETHING.)*

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In the last dream its the principals in the previous dreams have gathered in a ‘final place’ – it’s lovely. It’s like a CABIN, not exactly rustic but COZY. It’s a ‘big/small’ room – if that makes any sense. A room to hold all that we need, but not empty or stark, cozy like. I see this FIREPLACE that is NOT lit up now, but IT WILL BE when we get SET UP in the future. The lighting is not bright or dim, it’s like soft & in the shade, seems to be surrounded by woods, a cabin in the woods, but not remote woods, sort of like here where I am.

*(FINAL DWELLING, BIG BUT SMALL, COZY, FUTURE: This once again, for the thousand-th time, recants that he will be with you. You will have all you need, not ostentatious or luxurious, homey, cozy, a good feeling. This, when all is said & done, is your future.)*

There’s a man here that seems important. We all spent just a bit of time here, going through all our things, our baggage, which is dark & rolled up in bundles, but we mustn’t TARRY, we have things to do & I feel WE WILL BE BACK. The fireplace seems to be the only thing I see in a bit of detail – the rest of the room isn’t furnished, just filled with our belongings in piles – those of myself, this imp man & not sure who else.

*(BELONGINGS, BAGGAGE, PILED UP IN BUNDLES: There is still baggage or impediments to our being together, being dark in this context probably mean ‘in the dark’ or I don’t know what it is. The imp man naturally is the Lover. God is saying we will be here, or in the place of togetherness, when the time comes.)*

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The TILES line the FIREPLACE all around, on the outside, a border, base & front, on the inside. They are kind of WHITE, with a bit of green décor, like tiny border leaves, some beige somewhere. I take SPECIAL NOTICE of this fireplace because I know it will be CENTRAL to the coziness & comfort of this room when we occupy it.

*(FIREPLACE WITH TILES BORDERING IT OUTSIDE, INSIDE: Tiles are something PERMANENT like STONE. ‘Set in stone’ or tiles is ‘FOR SURE, you can bet on the rock.’ This underscores once again our future relationship.
The FIRE is the WARMTH in our HEARTS & SOULS – our LOVE. Love comes from the heart, it is fire, passion. The heart is the furnace of the body, the engine, the fire, it makes it work. Without the heart, the fire, a house is not a home, a couple is not a relationship. That is why I told him when he went off with that girl it was wrong, he had to be with me. HOME is where the HEART IS.)*



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