Core Tenets, Uncategorized

James Brown & Me

Chapter 16 – The James Brown Story – 7-16-21

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 How James Brown looked when I met him in 1966

 

          There are some stories that are so painful & embarrassing –‘I Was Such a Fool to Fall in Love With You’ that they’re hard to tell. I have a few such memories up my sleeve but something says I should end Part 4 with the James Brown saga. I will save other super-painful face-reddening stories in Parts 5 & 6.

 

          I was but 21 when I first saw James Brown – at a huge coliseum-type forum, outdoors, in LA. He performed in front of about 16k people. I was impressed. In those days I took everything seriously, like the contest between two of his singers he always ran – who has the most soul – each singing a bit, then the other, whoever gets the most applause wins. I hate such contests, it makes one successful at the defeat of the other – it’s demeaning. {I know that’s a contradiction, as I entered many beauty contests, but when one is in a GROUP it’s less extreme than the one-to-one deals.}

 

          Then there was the ‘robes’ gimmick. In the end, James supposedly ‘collapses,’ & they put a bright robe over him, but he throws off the robe, keeps singing & dancing, & this is repeated at least three times, with the last robe being solid gold. Later I read he got the idea from a wrestling star {his name & info is on Wikipedia}.

 2016

         

His dancing was AMAZING, which proves you do a thing from the time you’re a kid, you’re bound to get good at it.  He would have gone crazy to see his hair disheveled like this, every hair had to be in place.  I knew one of his hairdressers, Frank, later on, after the thingy with James was over.  He always had a hairdresser, male or female, everything had to be perfect.

James Brown was a model of endurance & good health. {Although the sight of him between shows, with a needles in his arm, administered by a health care worker I presume, his blood soaking up some kind of liquid from a bottle higher up, like in a hospital, – was an eye-opening wonder.}

Don’t know what drugs he took at times to keep going, but I know he smoked grass. I was clean as a whistle before that, but started to smoke it because of him – the habit stayed a year & was brutal to beat. I abhor drugs, always have, and always will. My parents never said one word about it – where I got my hate of drugs I’m not sure, possibly from loving Jesus, the Saints, & their mortification.

 

Not saying I don’t drink – Jesus first miracle was changing water into wine; wine is part of the Holy Mass, the disciples imbibed wine, it was no sin. But street drugs, they just seem wrong to me.

 

          So I see James Brown as a great, invincible star & I was with a friend, decide to go downtown LA when he appears next. I stand in the front row. I am the only white woman there. The place is jam packed, everyone screaming when he performs.

 

          First he comes out & plays the organ – not too well but it’s appreciated. Then the Famous Flames do their thing – they are not so hot, sing an Otis Redding song, I think it was ‘Fa-Fa-Fa-Fa” & they want us to think they, not Otis, made it famous & we’re supposed to applaud forcefully. But they have to tell us to do so. {If you gotta’ tell’m, you ain’t.}

 

         Finally James comes out & does his hits – it’s pandemonium, & at the end, he gives out souvenirs. I got a cuff link, which I later framed in a gorgeous boxlike setting, professionally done. {Wish I had it now but when you’re young you move so many times, you leave things behind.}

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         How I looked when I dated James Brown,  pics 1965 1966.  I think the last time I saw him was 1969

 

I ask the attendants that I’d like to meet the star – they keep telling me his wife is there – I don’t believe them & ask again, & again, & again.

 

          Finally, there is a date. I get to meet the great man in his hotel, he signs an 8×10 for me saying,

 

          “To Kellie – You are my baby I hope.”

 

          Then we make love & I spend the night with him. In the morning the maid starts opening the door & he stops her – why wasn’t ‘do not disturb’ or the deadlock put on?

 

          Two things were striking about seeing him. One, how hard his legs were – they were like iron. And two, every time I saw him I started to bleed – menstrual blood. He even asked me why – I didn’t know, I just knew that each time he came to town, we had a date, I started to bleed. Somewhat embarrassing. It had to be a precursor of the pain I would go through.

 

          Why did I suffer so much with him? Because I fell in love, & there were two factors that would put me on the Cross. One, I didn’t understand it then, but I was suffering from PTSD from losing Dad, at age ten – when he refused to take me to live with him & left me at the mercy of Mom, who had none. I told him I felt like killing myself but he did nothing, his only advice, a thousand times was, ‘You must study.’ As a result, each time I fell in love – through my entire life – the PTSD kicked in. Of course, every individual took it personally& thought I was ‘obsessed’ with him – but I wasn’t. It was Dad that had broken my heart into smithereens, they were only icons.

 

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          The second factor was these guys – the black stars from the south – all of them – just wanted to hit multiple white women. They made up for Sherman going through the south burning up plantations, they went through the north & West ‘burning up’ white women.

 

          My companion through this affair was my black roommate, Ginger Tubbs – {her real name, if anyone could find her, she’d confirm what went on.} I had a house in Beverly Hills & after about 6 months I thought having a roommate might help, & she agreed. Prophetically, there was a framed poster on the inside of the door, life sized, which featured two dancers, a black & a white on, both in skimpy costumes shapely & beautiful, & the white one had her leg draped over the other one’s leg. In Egyptian symbolism if you have two Pharaohs, the one that has their leg or arm over the other one is the dominant person. I invited her, so I was the assertive person. She also complained that everything had to be ‘my way,’ – I wasn’t aware of that & tried to improve.

 

          Ginger was my twin – height, weight & shape. We earned the exact amount of money as go go dancers, $12 per hour {1967 is $95.66 an hour today,}, plus tips, the top paid in those days.

 

          Now Ginger & I were treated to a trip by James Brown {what year – 1967?} from LA to Ohio where he was performing. He told me a couple times, when he said,

 

          “Bring another girl,” he meant WHITE girl.

 

          But he told Ginger,

          “I’m not usually into white females, but Kellie is different.”

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          BTW I asked all my white gf’s to go with me to see James but none would consent. {In case you aren’t aware, dating blacks in the 60’s was considered demeaning – the civil rights movement & time finally changed that. James contributed with some of his work including the hit song ‘Say it Loud, I’m Black & I’m Proud.’ The term ‘black is beautiful’ also came about – I believed the inspiration came from ‘Song of Songs’ – ‘I am black but beautiful’ is where the Shulamite had to work in the fields & turned dark skinned from it. Having dark skin then was a no-no because slaves / servants worked in the fields – but the point here was that God sent a person to the mission fields, where one acquires faults, but this obedience to God doing Her work, turns the soul beautiful, the faults are overlooked.}

 

          It wasn’t a BIG affair, just a little one, but the most embarrassing part is my obsession, with the PTSD kicking in. Had I ‘played it cool’ like his associates told me, it would have been lovely. He would have used me as arm candy & ego; we would have had a good time whenever he was in town. But I jumped the gun & wanted more than he could give – because of anxiety.

 

          I must add that James had the same PTSD – because he was abandoned by his Mom at a young age {can’t find documentation but it was before his 6th grade.} His Dad left him with a wonderful woman, however who encouraged & built him up – this lady, an aunt, who owned a restaurant, entertainment & therapy centers, told him he’d be a star. But still the Mommy thing hurt – some said he was bitter when she showed up years later at a show, calling him ‘my baby,’ but he said, ‘I’m not your baby any more.’

 

          A sign of his having PTSD was a girl friend of his said he called incessantly – wanting to know what she was doing – like 50 times a day. This shows emotional anxiety & insecurity – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from the loss of a loved one.

                              

          But his condition did not allow him to understand my fears & show any mercy.

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         How we looked when we were dating.  He never allowed pics of us together because for him to be with a white woman publicly would have brought great criticism from his people

I find it not peculiar but typical, that the world explains the story of a life from the outside in, without focusing on psychological & spiritual factors. It’s like all there is is the world & what one does in it. Read his Wikipedia page – it’s long & tedious, all the details, nothing much on what counts – his interior state, the psychology.

 

          They do the same to the saints, including the stigmatized ones. They speak of the physical characteristics of their wounds; they are riveted on that, not the psychological, spiritual realm. I find that sort of treatment boring, no depth, what does it mean? That’s one reason I’m writing my life myself, with all its ramifications, before they twist it in dastardly ignorance, to what it is not. I’ve seen what they’ve done to my life in the media – they started with jokes. Esquire magazine – I found out later {I called in 1985 asking them to do a retro of the 1975 article & the editor told me ‘We don’t have that same kind of humor today’} – to them a woman with muscles WAS A JOKE.

Then Stripping for God, giving sermons before I danced, WAS A JOKE. They trivialize & demean everything to some sort of hardy har har, you gotta’ have a gimmick, routine. They don’t have the brains to ask the big questions,

 

          “Why should women lift weights? Why were women forbidden to do so?”

          I would have said it was a Patriarchal lie, that only they had strong muscles & athletic prowess, we were to be feminine, passive & subservient. It was their brainwashing.

 

          Instead, on the Mike Douglas Show, they had a tent, & a comedian took me by the hand & pulled me into it in front of the camera – to their eyes fukking me. ALL A JOKE. It started that way, but after it took off big time, they stopped laughing. We had infiltrated a stronghold of the Patriarchy – God did it under their very noses, using their own media, to empower women & disempower men.

 

          Then of course, I was giving sermons & got on all the front pages & News in every town I went. On Real People, one of the biggest breakthroughs, in 1979 – the host kept making eyeballs at my statements, instead of proposing questions like,

 

          “Aren’t women in the adult trade known to be the biggest SINNERS against God, & so, how could such a woman preach & say she’s saving souls?”

 

          To which I might have answered,

 

          “What makes you think nudity & sex outside of marriage is a sin? That’s Patriarchal thinking, not Matriarchal. In the days of Matriarchy nudity was natural & sex was sacred.”

 

          OK I vaguely recall it was four years after James’ death that I had a significant dream. Some of you know I’ve had a lifelong ministry to Purgatory. I’ve gotten thousands of souls out by being an intermediary between them & the Almighty – it’s a Gift, & one I cherish & worked for.

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          I didn’t even know he was dead – I don’t pay attention to mainstream news. So I’m at a show waiting for him to come out, waiting, waiting – nothing. I go into the building where he’s supposed to enter from & find him in a room. It’s all white squares with huge windows, like many squares put together. {This represents purity & perfection spiritually} – I speak to him. Then a male attendant takes him & me into a private, darkened place, like a hallway by a door & wall.

 

          The attendant let’s me know there’s supposed to be a kiss. I found that repellant as it reminded me of how much he hurt me, but of course, I kiss him. Then the attendant, who I later realized was his guardian angel, takes him away. James’ parting words to me, which infuriated me at the time, were,

 

          “Don’t go out with a black man.”

 

          In those days, for years, I preferred dating black men to white. I thought they were the most handsome, sexy men on earth. So for him to say that took the wind out of my sails & also didn’t make sense as he was black. I shall channel him now, & ask him, what did his statement mean?

 

          JB {James Brown}: I knew black men would hurt you more than white men, because they were hurt. They take revenge on white women.

 

          ME:   Is that all? I think they take revenge on black women also, I have seen, heard hundreds of incidents in person & on TV.

 

          JB:   I was trying to protect you, my advice was ‘words to the wise.’ I knew what would happen again & again, & eventually you got fed up with them & decided to turn around & think another way. I helped you do that.

 

          ME:   OK, so you were on my side. Now that you are in Heaven, what do you think of our affair & how I suffered of a broken heart?

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          JB:   I was not sorry then as I didn’t realize how much you loved me, I didn’t have time to think about your feelings, I just wanted to get through what I had facing me each day, get my work done, do my slam bam thank you ma’am routine with women & be done with it. I could not analyze their or your feelings.

 

          ME:   One of the most painful things was the time, after me calling you again & again, you were in LA & invited me to your room. You said bring a friend. I had no one willing to go. I came alone. When I knocked on your door I heard you inside on the phone. Then one of your attendants came up to me & said you could not see me, your wife was arriving. I almost died right there, almost passed out. Did you have the attendant watch me arriving to see if I brought another girl – a white one preferably- & when I did not you cared not to see me?

JB:   Something like that. Why did you love me so much that it was so important? You could have had any man you wanted, white multi millionaires asked you for marriage but you refused. Why was I so important?

 

ME:   Who can understand falling in love? Why did you resent your Mom abandoning you? Why was she so important? There were so many Aunts willing to take you in?

 

JB:   Touché. You win. PTSD isn’t logical. A soldier comes back from the war & he thinks there’s a mine in a NYC park, he shudders & shakes. He wakes up with nightmares when nothing is there. He relives the terror of war. And both you & I relived the loss of a beloved parent, I should have understood but did not care enough. My need with you was I wanted you to make me look good, a beautiful white woman gave me prestige.

 

ME:   So all I was was prestige, arm candy, a status symbol. You were a great star so you could make it with a beautiful young white female. You didn’t love me at all. What about later? Did you ever change your mind when you saw my spiritual accomplishments?

 

JB:   It did surprise me when I saw your fame as the Stripper for God – right after that I went to the street & had the news cover me ‘preaching’ imitation of you {NYC}. If you could do it, so could I. I didn’t know you had it in you, I didn’t see your inside.

 

ME:   It really hurt when someone told me you offered Diane McBain $3,500 for sex. You had me for free. Wow was I crushed. Was it true?

 

JB:   If it was, I didn’t mean it, it was just talk. You were better than her, it’s just that she was famous & her price tag would be high.

 

ME:  So I had no financial value, no price tag. I was just a desperate female in love, you could treat me anyway you wanted. You could abuse me, I was kind of used to it, but it still hurt.

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JB:   Honesty, now I can see the degree of love you had, then I did not, so I didn’t see how much it would hurt. I do feel sorry for not caring, not being sensitive to your love.

 

ME:   OK, but God through your guardian Angel, brought you to me for that Sacred Kiss, with which grace you could then ascend into Heaven. How do you see this? Why did you have to receive my kiss to ratify heaven? I mean all the women you knew & loved – dozens of them. Why not go to them for the kiss? Why was I the one for this Sacrament?

 

JB:   All the women? They were women, not Anointed Beings. They did not minister to Purgatory; they didn’t have that kind of Power. Earthly people have no spiritual power, they could have kissed me a million times but it would not have brought me to Heaven.

.

          When you kissed me you transmitted Spiritual Power to me. It was God’s Love. By God’s love I ascended.

 

ME:   On another point, what do you think of my young spiritual husband? Is he a gift from God & when we finally unite as roommates & live together, will we be happy? Do you think it’s a reward or compensation for all my broken heartedness?

 

JB:   You deserve this love, finally & at long last. You’ve had so much suffering & abuse, it’s about time. Yes, you’ll be happy.

 

ME:   OK, the time you transported me from LA to Ohio in your private plane – Ginger & myself. Then you left us in the hotel, you checked out. We were baffled. We waited, no phone call, no nothing. We assumed you deserted us there, & we took a plane back home – another broken heart. Why did you leave us there with no message? Then months later I called you when you came to LA & you asked why did we leave? WTF were you doing?

 

JB:   I was a fool. I should have explained that I would check out, but then check back in, just wait. But I didn’t explain. For some reason I didn’t think you had the bread for a plane out. I should have thought more on this, but I hurt you again & again.

 

ME:   I did feel special at that time, however. You took me to meet Duke Ellington, & he said,

 

          “Who is the pretty lady?”

 

          And you took me to see other shows. It was a good time, but after that, more & more pain. I can hardly think about it.

 

JB:   It’s your birthday, don’t think about pain any more. Try & relax & think of the good things God has done for you. Write more about this later, you are exhausted.

 

ME:   OK James Brown in Heaven, over & out until next time. Oh, wait. One more thing. I met Otis Redding & he asked me to make love with him, but I did not. If I had, do you think it would have been a beautiful memory, since he died later that year? As a strange fact, he cancelled a plane to meet me.

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JB:   If I was still alive, I would have been jealous, but now, I’m not. Too bad he died so soon, he was a great star & would have been greater – big competition for me.

 

          Should you have made love? You can still do so, ask him to make love to you from Heaven, after all, it’s only energy. He’s your friend & hovering around you all the time – ask him for anything.

 

ME:   OK I will. Thanks for everything. I feel better now. I’ll probably tell the people more later, I just can’t think about this any more. {End channeling.}

 

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Core Tenets, Uncategorized

END OF PATRIARCHY

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Conclusion Chapter 15

 Female Sexual Liberty Will End Patriarchy

 

          I’m asking St. Martin Luther King, Jr. about sexual liberty for women, & he says it will end Patriarchy, so now we are working out the kinks of why & how.  St. Martin, again, let’s get clarity on this issue – it’s a new idea for many to swallow, we need to prove it.  Why we sound interchangeable at times – because we are.  Our computer/minds are connected, I read his, he reads mine.  We feed off each others knowledge & experience.

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          STM:  {St. Martin Luther King, Jr.}:   I gave you the example of the herd animal or harem collector, where he fights for territory which contains resources.  He risks his life again & again to retain what the harem needs, as well as keep away the other males.  It’s his seed he wants to move on, it’s the other males DNA he wants to prevent –he cares not about the other males & their progeny, only his own.

 

          It all depends on the female adhering to his desire – that of their being faithful to him.  If they decide to spread out, the females leaving him & going off with males hither & tither, the party’s over – the dominant male has nothing to dominate, nothing to fight for.  This male fighting is a Patriarchal requisite, not a Matriarchal one.

 

          ME:   Alright, that makes sense.  What about the elephant clans?  They are Matriarchal, but there is one or more dominant males, who keep they young bucks inline.  How does that compare?

 

          STM:   They are Matriarchal & there are powerful males who do some protecting, & who keep the young ones in line.  At times, the males all go of into their own bachelor quarters –this happens with other animals.  They return to breed with the females.  And the old guys beat up the youngsters when they get out of line & try to breed with all ages elephants, even the ones who are too young.  The young ones hormones then are curbed, they calm down a bit & do as they are told.  Our own society could use this as a model.

 

          ME:   I’m eager to see how this applies to us & the wars.  I am considered an ‘enemy of the state’ as I am for peace & Matriarchy.  All ‘peaceniks’ are backlisted as ‘enemies of the state’ targeted for punishment.  For example, in the 70’s there was a big ‘hippie’ movement for peace – they protested against the Vietnam War.  That’s when the leaders began the ‘War against drugs’ – which meant they would proliferate drugs & then arrest all who were involved.  That ended the Hippie ‘Make love not war’ movement.  They were destroyed by drugs, through the plan of the government.

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          There are many other examples of the government cracking down on people who demonstrate for peace & form organizations & speak out.  They find ways of stopping them, sometimes by organizing opposite movements & hiring professional speakers for war.  Workings for peace is counter the society that is built on war.  But to end war is a necessity according to God’s plan.  We must have Matriarchy if there is to be peace.  As we both know, there is no ‘man on a white horse’ that will set things straight.  The human male, by his nature, is bred & evolved for violence, conflict & aggression, as opposed to the female who takes care of people.  And so to look for a political man to bring peace is like looking for what?  A man with breasts, a vagina & a caring brain – a woman & Mother.  There is no such man.

 

          This is explained in the myth of Durga.  There was a demon, Maharashtra, who  plagued the human race & was so powerful, the three males Gods could not put him down.  They called on the Goddess Durga, who appeared as a beautiful woman & ravished him.  After getting into his ‘graces’ she beheaded him,

 

There is a foretaste of this type Woman Power in the Old Testament, “Using her brains and looks, the widow Judith infiltrated Nebuchadrezzars’s army and slayed its commander, Holofernes.”  This freed her Hebrew people from the Babylonians.

 

but alas, from his blood, every drop sprang a NEW DEMON!  Then Durga turned herself into ‘blood thirsty Kali,’ lapped up all the blood of Maharashtra – no more demons!

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          This story is Patriarchy personified.  There is no ‘god’ or ‘Divine Man’ who can stop what has been set into motion by Patriarchy.  Buddha tried & failed –so did Jesus.  There is no religion, no matter how Sacred, that can stop Patriarchy – only the WOMAN can.  This woman is a GODDESS or the Divine entering earth through her.  It has layers of meaning.  For one thing, this is the EXTINCTION OF MEN instituted by the power of MOTHER NATURE; his DNA will continue to deteriorate until he is no more.  This is Kali lapping up his blood, as more & more demons are born as long as there are human males – she must end human men.  Second, it is WOMAN POWER – ‘Woman, Thou Art God’ – who takes over the world from males & rules it.  This story underscores from antiquity when it was told, no man can save humanity, only the Feminine Divine & females.

 

          What do you say about my theory, St. Martin?

 

          STM:   I agree with your theory.  Look what they did to me as a Ghandi/Buddha/Christlike character.  I came in peace, they crucified me on a bullet.  They will listen to no one, Holy or unholy, man or woman.  They will be defeated by God, & God is a Mother, not a man, who cares for the human race.  Men do not care for all people, they are out for themselves, like the beach master or dominant bull, their instinct is to kill off the competition & herd up the females.  They cannot straighten themselves out just as a corrupt police force, government, or Catholic Church will not.

          What happened after the Catholic pedophilia scandal?  Did they clean up their act?  Did they right their own wrongs?  Did they give priests permission to marry, ending some of the homosexuality & pedophilia?  Did they agree to ordain women?  No, they employed damage control, paying off billions in lawsuits & opening their doors to the third world like India, for new priests, removing the barriers to the Christian sects once marginalized or cut off, puffing up their ranks.  They righted no wrongs, they only fought back & fortified themselves.  Since they are possibly the world’s richest corporation, they could afford to spend the generous donations of millions of mostly women, to fend off punishment.  Few men went to jail for abusing children, only payoffs & not with their hard-earned money but the money of Catholics who love God.  They can pay off for the next hundred years before going bankrupt – sooner or later they will fold, but it will be later, as male extinction is.  Look to no man & no male institution, govt. or religion, for salvation.

 

          ME:   Now back to clarification.  We have the herd animals & the elephants.  What do we learn from chimps or Bonobos or Gorillas?

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          STM:   Only the chimpanzees stick out parallel to Patriarchs – the males are brutal, unfair, violent & cruel – very dangerous animals, possibly closest to human men.  The Bonobos are true Matriarchs, the Gorillas are benevolent & gentle with their families.  Indeed, look at the Chimpanzees.  If a female dares to leave the dominant male’s area, & just go off on her own to be let off from the male harassment, the males send out signals to the Alpha male.  He, with them, track her down & beat the living shit out of her, possibly even kill her baby.  How dare she leave the confines of his Patriarchy?

 

          This is a parallel to the male human ‘Kingdom.’  He has RULES & TABOOS for the women, like so:

 

          No GATHERING for women – sisterhood is powerful, so must be stopped!  That means NO WOMEN’S CLUBS, women’s groups or organizations for WOMEN ONLY.  Men must be included in all that women do, so they can interlope, interfere, sabotage &influence – destroy.  Ditto with the Rockefeller Institute taking over the feminist movement as run by Gloria Steinem.

 

          No shoulder-to-shoulder chats for women.  If women are caught or seen speaking to one another, the must be interfered with by a man or men –if they’re attractive or desirable.  If they are old, terribly ugly or perceived ‘over the hill’ or ‘outcasts’ they might be left alone, all others must be INTERRPTED so their train of thought runs to a man, not to themselves, as they could be EMPOWERING ONE ANOTHER.

 

          Women MUST NOT REMAIN SINGLE but must be hitched to a man, where presumably, he owns them, controls them to some degree or another.  If they remain single they are labeled, stigmatized, called names, such as ‘left behind’ {China}, spinster {too ugly to be desired}, lesbian, or man hater. Such women, generally, are like ‘all alone’ in world ruled by men, where women do not befriend sisters once they are married.  Single women are NOT ACCEPTED OR INVITED to get-togethers in society but men are.  Why?  Because single women will influence & empower the married women – who must remain ‘Stepford wives,’ – but single men ARE invited/accepted because it’s alright for men to empower men, but not alright for women to do so with women.

 

          There are numerous other applications, to the man must be dominant, in control, the woman must not speak out against men or their wrong doing – if they break any of these rules they will be punished.

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          And punished they are.  This is why women have been scared to death to cry ‘rape’ –because they will be vilified, in a court of law, their character will come into question, in the earlier times, men could get six guys to swear she was a prostitute, & the she could not be raped.  So is it OK to rape a prostitute?  Is she not human?

 

          During the Nassar time – the man who abused dozens of Olympic champion girls – you saw a documentary where one Asian girl blocked her experiences out, & when she saw the others come forward she shook with fear, but finally forced herself to go & testify.  When females complain, they are vilified, punished, denounced as liars or exaggerators, etc.  They are not generally supported –like Nassar had a woman coach backing him up all the time, she even told the mothers that his fingering their daughters was a valid medical procedure – which proves she knew what he was doing & still supported him.  {This woman was never brought to justice.}  The University out of which he worked got many complaints but never did right by them, they covered it all up until the explosion, after which they HAD to oust him, but until there is PUBLIC DISCLOSURE & OUTCRY they didn’t have to so they didn’t.  A Patriarchy-run organization allows men to commit cries against women until they are publicly exposed.

 

          ME:   I can give an example of how I was intimidated by this sort of thing, as an old woman of 66.  I had a young boyfriend, age 26.  He robbed me of $2,400 from my ATM machine while visiting my house.  He jogged there & back.  The bank called me & we discovered he was pulling money out of my bank third day in a row.  I locked all the doors before he’d return from the ‘jog’ & called the police.  They came, arrested him, I found most of the bread in his suitcase in my house – he had $800. of it in his pocket the police confiscated, which was returned to me later.

 

          Now the DA – a lady – & her asst detective came to my house.  I wasn’t expecting the visit & was startled.  They barged in & after saying hello she said,

 

          “Do you have many visitors here?”

 

          It made my blood run cold.  She was accusing me of ‘many visitors’, meaning lots of guys, that I was having multiple sex & therefore had no character.  The DA is supposed to be on my side, I am the victim, not the villain, but she is implying this to me & it scared me, a grown woman.

 

          When it was nearing time to go to court I got so sick I was vomiting & had severe anxiety attacks, I couldn’t go through with it, probably because I know what they do to women in court.  The DA, the one on my side, already intimidated me, what would the defense do?

 

          The DA again came to my house.  I told her I could not go through with it as it was making me sick.  She didn’t believe me & said,

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          “WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?”

 

          I could have said ‘You & the politicized Patriarchal judicial justice system’ but I was TOO SCARED TO SPEAK.  She made me write & sign a paper, in my own handwriting {like in my own blood} that ‘in the interest of justice’ I was dropping the case. 

 

          Another case came up where downtown at the bars, a young male punched me in the jaw & I dropped to the pavement unconscious for a few seconds.  This was in front of hundreds of people milling on the street & the resident cops – not one person came forward as a witness, not even the cop who saw it {he pretended he didn’t} & the next DA told me he would not take the case because after they begin it I AM THE TYPE OF WOMAN WHO DROPS CASES.

 

          Indeed, a woman faints at the thought of going to court because we know what they will do to us – we will come out worse than the male because they are excused even when they hurt us – we are the ones vilified.  It is getting better, but old ways do die hard.

 

          I do recall that in 1976 I did win a case against a guy in B’klyn who beat me up with karate kicks & trashed my apt with thousands of dollars in damage.  {He threw a gallon of oil paint all over my walls & furniture & private stuff}  The times were changing for women then in their favor, it was just beginning – the women’s movement was new, alive & fresh.  I got a judgment of $700 which the guy’s Mom paid, I sent it to my spiritual mentor, Rev. Judy Swaggart – It did not make up for my apt damage even if I spent it, I even felt guilty at being recompensed, like somehow it was my fault.  And Rev. Swaggart, that’s another story told elsewhere, in Part 3 at length.  The forces of Hell were turned against me.

 

          Now St. Martin, back to the Chimps & our discussion.  Explain more to me how women’s sexual liberty will end Patriarchy.

 

          STM:   We could use a third mind here for some input & fresh perspective.  I have told you when men can no longer control women sexuality, the gig is up.  They will lose all their motivation, their reason for fighting, struggling with other men for resources.  This will end war.  And they will begin doing what you predicted long ago in ‘The Future of Male-Female Relationships’ – they will prepare themselves for female domination.

 

          For example, they will get fit & trim, lose weight, go to the gym, get cosmetic surgery, fix their hair, wear better clothes, learn social skills like conversation. Learn to listen to women & support their interests, be charming, other graces, work toward being gentlemen; books will spring up on how to improve themselves.  They will now, instead of beating other men violently, beat them at the game of conquest, the way one woman outdoes another in looks, appearance, charm & wit – role reversal.  That will be their game; they will strive to be CHOSEN by women when women are in control.

 

          When a woman gives a man what he wants, she jumps through his hoops.  When she refuses & holds back, he jumps through hers. 

          ME:  OK let’s see if we get another contribution to this.  Thanks St. Martin.

 

From AJAX THE GREAT:

Wow, I must say, you both pretty much have all bases covered as to the reasons why Women’s sexual freedom will be the kill switch for patriarchy.  Very true indeed.  It would basically be kryptonite and game over for patriarchy when Women can no longer be controlled sexually by men.  Thus I don’t have very much to add here, but I will also note another angle that the “artificial scarcity” of sex that is created by restricting and shaming Women’s sexuality only serves to prop up the patriarchy as well, for the same reason that the “artificial scarcity” of goods and services is what props up (rentier) capitalism, which really should be called “greed patriarchy”, while patriarchy itself would be “sexual capitalism”.  The one thing that neither system can survive is ABUNDANCE.  Liberating Women’s sexuality would of course end that artificial scarcity, while also very importantly replacing male-defined sexuality (which can be quite toxic) with Female-defined sexuality (which is the best antidote to such toxicity).  It would be a win-win for everyone but the patriarchy and oligarchy.  In other words, “make love, not war”.

QED               (You may also give credit to Yuri Alexandrovich for his article as well.)

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Core Tenets, Uncategorized

WOMEN’S SEXUAL FREEDOM

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Chapter 15      Martin Luther King Jr  on

Women’s Sexual Freedom Will End Patriarchy

 

 

          Note re channeling:   Channeling is MIND READING. And I am not merely reading the mind of the other person – our two mental computers are connected, & they can see into my mind as I can see into theirs. How do I do it? It’s a GIFT, in my case; I worked on it since early youth, around age 21, & was given Anointings by one guru at that time, & many years later, another guru. Gifts are sometimes bequeathed just like that, without any prior effort, while others are given after some effort. Now when Marilyn Monroe looked into my mind obviously she saw the content of my knowledge & experience, & the same with St. Martin. He knows what I know, I know some of what he knows, so in some parts, it sounds ‘interchangeable’ – because it is.

 

Recap Chapter 14

 

          First, I just want to recap Chapter 14, where St. Martin Luther King Jr. explains where people are deprived of their roots – identity – religion – culture – & have imposed on them the oppressor/tyrants ideology – are brainwashed for control. Their past being wiped out, they have nothing to ‘hold onto’ or go back to physically or mentally. They feel LOST & all people need something to anchor them or focus the ‘who am I’ question.

 

          STM {St. Martin}   Yes, imagine this. You spoke of your Lithuanian Dad, who, having come to America in middle age, could not adjust as easily as did your Mom, who was 16 years younger than him. He had established a meaningful career in Lithuania as a professor & the founder of the first State Teacher’s College. He, upon arrival, was a leader in the Lithuanian Community & once more established a Saturday Lithuanian school in the Church auditorium……later on, when he visited you in California; he sought out the Lithuanians in the most extreme ways, by looking through the phone books for those type names, even visiting strangers. He followed every clue & lead where Lithuanians were, the Churches especially as gathering points, & found their community, & later visited them even when he did not visit you. {Flying in from New York.}

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         What was Dad doing? Seeking his identity, his constituency, his friends, those who gave him meaning to life, who made life worth living. They believed in him, respected him. Whereas to Americans he was just an unknown refugee doing menial jobs, even being a janitor once, who didn’t speak good English. He had little or nothing in common with them. In his old age he did find love with a dark Puerto Rican lady & all her relatives & friends honored him, & life was happy again. You saw how these people gathered around him, they looked up to him so much that when you spoke they even gave you the same sort of reception – they hushed & listened. {You weren’t used to that, your family & their friends had denigrated & ostracized you, you suddenly saw what it felt like to be respected. It was different.}

 

          In writing your life story you dug back into your roots & spoke of your Grandparents, who they were, what they did. You’re proud of your Cossack Grandmother & Mongolian roots. Your Grandpa was beloved by all around him. You describe the talents of both your parents.

 

          These are your roots that to some degree, at least as a human, made you what you are. {Indeed, as you underscore, this is your body, your soul no one can claim to have created except God, & no one knows what your previous lifetimes were.}

 

          Now consider if a tyrant erased for your Dad or yourself your roots, your ancestors, your past culture, your identification. This happens to orphans. They sometimes wonder who they really were; they seek to know their origin. Their present parents did not create them, who made them what they are?

 

          Again, you’ve seen documentaries of what they did to the Indians, how they stripped them of their heritage. This was traumatizing. They said they were turning ‘savages’ into ‘civilized’ beings, but the tyrants were anything but civilized, they were conquistadors, imperialists who by force, took over peoples, depriving them of their religion, rituals, cultures. They were not allowed to speak the Indian languages, practice their ways, dance as Indians did, etc. They did this to children, when the old folks died out; the children were now old & shared their memories of trauma.

 

          To be deprived of one’s past is extremely TRAUMATIC & DISEMPOWERS people.

 

          And then we discussed how WOMEN have been deprived of their MATRIARCHAL ROOTS for thousands of years – on purpose, & in a concerted way, by men. Even to this very day, after Marija Gimbutas presented her monumental works on the Goddess & Matriarchal origins, they’ve tried to trivialize / discredit her works, make them seem less than accurate.

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They always fight back – they never give up, like Satan, who when he attacks & fails, pulls back to retrench himself & seeks an opportune time to appear again. They say ‘Satan never sleeps.’ It is the spirit of those men who are evil – which never sleeps or stops to abuse women in any way they can. For every 3 steps women take forward, they will draw you back two, so it takes a huge effort to get ahead. You have noticed that when the feminist / female empowerment gets really strong, they lash back with HUGE TERRORISM like after Emmeline Pankhurst’s movement, they started World War I, which ended the feminist activities – all was now centered on their terrorism. It’s the same in our day, after Female Empowerment got big, they started the biological warfare to an intensity it’s got ‘stranger & stranger’. {A whole plethora of biological diseases unleashed in particular since 1971 with Aids, then many other unheard of plagues, so now the focus is once again, their terrorism.}

This is the equivalent of when a woman says to an abusive man, ‘I’m leaving you,’ & he starts to yell & scream, rant & rave, throwing furniture around & threatening her. It is EXACTLY the same on a wider scale. When women gain power & the males can’t stop them, they begin to rattle their chains, or else, it’s ‘road rage,’ or else, they’re in a row boat, the man stands up & begins to rock it to intimidate the ‘little woman.’ In the ghetto community, you heard the term, ‘He wants to scare you into fucking him.’

 

The point is you asked why women don’t gather – you’ve had no luck in gaining a constituency with them – & the answer is their brainwashing & deprivation of identity has been so severe that they can’t manage to get a foothold into ‘themselves.’ Who am I? They can’t break away or out of the Patriarchy the way an animal won’t leave its cage until it knows what it’s getting into. They fear what they will lose – men – family – friends – reprisals – backlash – punishment – ostracism – etc.

 

You – Rasa – have been trained & prepared by God to take the punishments & also you KNOW your identity – That you are GOD INSIDE. But they don’t, they are unprepared {most of them} & do NOT know they are God inside, they are not ‘realized.’

 

The Sexuality Issue – The End of Patriarchy!

 

ME:   OK, thanks for that great recap. Now we move onward. I’ve been asking you about the sexuality issue, & you have said things that opened part of my brain that was not awake before. Let me begin by asking you again: What happens when women become sexually free? I have been working toward that goal, to end the double standard, stop the slut shaming, decriminalize prostitution, stop the prejudice against old women with young men, etc. What happens when women achieve all these liberties & have total sexual freedom?

 

STM:   It will be THE END OF PATRIARCHY.

 

ME:   That is so startling so ok, explain in detail.

 

STM:   There are some things you already know, but when you hear it from an expert, it confirms it. So one of those things was how men want to have all the women they can, multiple women, & that hearkens to herd animals, & other animals as well, amassing females into harems. Dr. Bryan Sykes brought this to your attention in his book on male extinction, ‘Adam’s Curse – a Future Without Men.’

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He underscored that when men gain power, what do they do? They amass women. He proves that THIS IS THE BASIC INSTINCT OF MEN, WHAT THEY LIVE FOR, WHAT THEY GAIN POWER & RESOURCES FOR – without the women, there is no purpose to power & resources,s these are the MEANS TO AN END. Like the animal fights for TERRITORY as well as the females. He needs the territory for the females, for resources, for food; to graze, to hunt, the water to drink. So the dominant, strongest, biggest, toughest male fights off the others, defeats them, then controls the territory & females. But the territory has no meaning of itself. What will he do with all that? It’s a means to an end.

 

And so, with human males, they fight for power & dominance so they can do as they will with women – have them all corralled or at his mercy, where he is free to have them all, but they must obey because he has the power & resources. It’s important to note that wealth, resources, power, for a male, are all TO OBTAIN WOMEN.

 

The dominance, power, influence of the male all lies in the fact of FEMALE COMPLIANCE. In other words, the female stays in his herd, does not have sex with the other males.

 

The human equivalent of this is PATRIARCHY – the female stays within the RULES OF THE PATRIARCHS which includes faithfulness to a male, not straying, not being free – She does not have sex with any male she wishes – her sexuality is STRICTLY CONTROLLED & this by religion & custom. What male religion says IS A SIN is usually a sin for HER – not him – the double standard. So the male is free, but the female is fettered, enslaved sexually.

 

This compliance is ENFORCED by SHAMING the woman who has sex outside of marriage or does prostitution, she is called SLUT, WHORE, TRAMP, an immoral, wicked woman who does not deserve the respect & love of society, in other words, she is ostracized or marginalized for being a slut or a prostitute. This carries a lot of baggage, for instance, in a court of law, when a woman was proven these things, it seemed she did not deserve the respect or mercy of the court – she would be found GUILTY AS CHARGED for breaking SEX TABOOS. She is treated badly by the society in general in many ways, she isn’t welcomed by ‘respectable’ people or those women who comply with Patriarchy, she is socially ostracized. That pertains to any woman in the ADULT TRADE, such as yourself, Rasa, & explains why you get a lot of disrespect by people.

 

Now take away these SEX TABOOS or standards for women. Say women are free to do whatever they wish – prostitute or give it away for free with all the men they wish. What happens? Men no longer have control. Their society is over. Their lives center around control of women, they fight their WARS – believe it or not – not for oil or resources or territory – THESE ARE A MEANS TO AN END – they are fighting FOR WOMEN.

 

And when these women NO LONGER OBEY MEN & do sex with anyone they wish, there is no point to fighting, having wars, because whatever a man gains, he cannot use it to obtain women, & so war is a moot point – Just as a stag will not fight for a territory if he has no harem.

 

And so, sexual freedom, in one leap, takes the power from the hands of men & puts it into the hands of women – Women now rule the world. The purpose of war has come to a stop. Because after a bloody war what does a man have? Nothing but carnage with no reward. Even if he takes all the riches from the other country, what will he do with them. It’s like what good is a hundred million dollars when you’re dying of cancer? You can no longer enjoy the money. What good is 100 million dollars when no woman obeys you? She does whatever she wishes, you cannot control her, your millions mean nothing. In the times when women have freedom of sex they will rule the world, they will make their own resources, they don’t depend on men, & so men are powerless.

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ME:   I need more clarity on this. But if a man gains a large amount of money, can’t he influence a female/s to be with him, no matter what?

 

STM:   Something changes. When women are sexually free, they have the ability to gain resources as much as men or even more so. Not saying all women will be wealthier than all men, but many will be. When opportunities spring up, it’s been proven women use them better than men – the experiment of the ‘little loans’ in third world countries, they no longer give these to men, who use them for gambling, substances & prostitutes. The women get the small loans & sure enough they increase the money profitably.

 

ME:   If you compare the ‘small loan’ example to men in the regular countries, how does it compare? I saw a documentary where in this town in Mexico, men are not allowed to do commerce, the women do it all, because the men MISUSE the money. They showed the women working in the town, buying & selling, while the men lounged around – completely useless & untrustworthy. Saw also another documentary called ‘Tribal Wives’ where in this Mexican village the govt also gave handouts, & they had to go into the hands of women as men, once again misused them.

 

Comment on what men do with billions & trillions of dollars in the wealthy countries. Is there a parallel?

 

STM:  Yes indeed. A case in point, the big fete hosted by America’s puppet Mohammad Reza Shah Pahlavi –The event has been described AS THE MOST EXPENSIVE PARTY EVER HELD IN MODERN HISTORY. Wikipedia: {edited by Rasa, unnecessary info removed}

 

The 2,500-year celebration of the Persian Empire, consisted of an elaborate set of festivities that took place on 12–16 October 1971 to celebrate the anniversary of the founding of the erstwhile Imperial State of Iran and the ancient Achaemenid Empire by Cyrus the Great. The intent of the celebration was to demonstrate Iran’s ancient civilization and history and to showcase its contemporary advances under Mohammad Reza Pahlavi, the last Shah of Iran.

Some later historians came to think that this excessive celebration contributed to events that resulted in the 1979 Iranian Revolution and subsequent replacement of the Persian monarchy with an Islamic republic under the Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, {Rasa: A FANATICAL anti woman Muslim Fundamentalist} the leader of the revolution who garnered support from the Iranian people, various leftist and Islamist organizations and student movements to overthrow the Shah and establish the present-day Islamic Republic of Iran. {end Wikipedia}

 

          ME:   This party was an EXCESS of all EXCESSES, a parallel to the third-world men using resources for egotistical purposes & pleasures, wasting the family funds. The Shah, in an interview, intimated he was CHOSEN BY GOD. He was rather chosen by the West to be our ally against Russia in the Cold War – our eyes were on their oil. Others tried to nationalize the oil resources; they were ousted by Britain & the U.S. so the Shah became the sole power of Iran, whereupon he decided to make this shindig to BUILD HIS EGO.

 

          He invited the NOBILITY of the entire world, & their Prime Ministers, Presidents, the Pope, Cardinals, every leader & potentate that there was. He built them each pre-fab housing covered by TENTS with gardens, fountains & flowers.

          He then got the MOST EXPENSIVE RESTAURANT IN THE WORLD to feed these people – not the poor – the richest most spoiled humans on earth, this restaurant is called Maxims: Wikipedia:

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           On 14 October, a grand gala dinner took place in the Banqueting Hall in celebration of the birthday of the Shahbanu. Sixty members of royal families and heads of state were assembled at the single large serpentine table in the Banqueting Hall. The official toast was raised with a Dom Perignon Rosé 1959.

The food and the wine for the celebration were provided by the Parisian restaurant Maxim’s. 600 guests dined over five and a half hours, thus making for the longest and most lavish official banquet in modern history as recorded in successive editions of the Guinness Book of World Records.

 

This fete of the Shah used the funds of THE PEOPLE OF IRAN – THEIR TAX MONEY, which some believe nearly bankrupted the nation for that year.

 

I will ask St. Martin’s opinion – What do you picture the purpose of all this was & how does it compare to the third world men abusing the funds of their family?

 

STM:   It was all about his ego, prestige, making himself, wife, family, & heritage, look great. He was not that ancient hero of Persia, Cyrus, he was but a puppet of a large world government. He was a privileged, spoiled brat of a type of aristocracy – He wanted to make himself on an equal level with the greats of the world – & were they impressed? They certainly became aware of his monumental ego, his lavish use of State funds, & the historical greatness of Iran. But did they think he was as great as the other leaders there? It would take more than a party to convince them of that.

 

How does it compare to the poor men who misused family funds? No difference, it is the same on a larger scale.

 

ME:   And what about the Patriarchs of the entire world? Is there no parallel?

 

STM:   You know there is, you want me to say it & say it I will. If you look on the charts of how tax money is spent in this country, for instance – you recall the far largest allocation is military. Indeed, these days most countries need a military. But the amount spent on military as compared to all other uses, say education, health, housing, welfare of the people & other such necessities, is obscenely out of proportion.

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ME:   Check this:   “One indicator of a nation’s priorities lies in its federal budget. And by that logic, America’s budget makes clear that we prioritize defense over all other expenditures — by a wide margin. In 2015, military expenditures accounted for about 54 percent of our discretionary spending, according to The National Priorities Project. In contrast, education accounted for only six percent of the budget.

But must add this:

It’s true — as Forbes’ Erik Kain points out — that state and local governments generally foot the bill when it comes to education spending in America. If you factor those contributions in, the US spent about $880 billion on education in 2011, compared to $966 billion total on defense. And a 2012 report from the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development found that America invested about $15,500 per student for primary, secondary and tertiary schooling — one of the highest in the world.

 

Notice they use the euphemism ‘defense.’ Who’s attacking us? No one I know. Who are we attacking? See the news. So what they mean is not defense, but ‘military spending’ including all that they do, plus the corrupt corporations who charge for services they don’t deliver, or charge obscenely more for services than given. What I’m saying, even if we need a defense, & a military, MUCH OF THIS MONEY IS WASTED.        

 

And so, to speak plainly, MEN ARE ABUSING THE FUNDS, RESOURCES of the taxpayers & planet, for their Patriarchal agenda. Now the next thing we will get into which segues back into the SEXUALITY ISSUE is WHAT IS THE PATRIARCHAL AGENDA?     We started on this, let’s finish it. {To be continued}

 

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Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Martin Luther King Jr. Part 2

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Part 2   Chapter 14 -   Channel Martin Luther King Jr.

ME:   We have gotten quite comprehensive here & I agree with all that you say. Now the difference between women gathering & blacks gathering in order to free themselves, how does it work? Why is it harder for women?

 

STM:   I began to explain how Africans have appeared here only lately, their freedom has been stolen not so long ago, & so, they still had something to hold onto which was their true identity, or one they were proud of, whereas for women, their culture – that of Matriarchy – existed thousands of years ago. During these many generations, women’s culture has been erased, denigrated, repudiated, swept under the rug, studies non-funded, disrespected, & denied.

 

Women have been forced into Patriarchal beliefs, religions, ideas, agendas, behaviors, for an incredibly long time. Females were made dependent on males economically – enslaved – & pathways to freedom or opportunity were shut down. Women were intimidated, silenced & murdered just as the blacks were {even after the Civil war, lynching, Ku Klux Klan activities, economic slavery through share cropping & lack of jobs, Jim Crow laws, hate & prejudice, ostracism, marginalization} – women were deprived education until recently, just as blacks were. The top Universities only opened their ranks to women in 1976. {Knowledge is power}

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ME:   OK, then, again, explain why women don’t gather. What do they feel, think & expect when someone invites them to form groups & fight for their rights, fight for Female Supremacy, or fight for their own religion? Why can’t they do it?

 

STM:   It’s fear, the fear inside them overwhelms their desire for freedom. In the cage they know they’re fed, housed, clothed. That’s how men wanted it. ‘We will take care of you’ they are saying, while at the same time taking away autonomy, choice, everything a human or animal might want.

 

ME:   But I thought that was far behind us. Women are now earning money, some more than men. Younger women especially, when they are educated & join the work place in big corporate & govt subsidized businesses, such as where my husband worked, get 90k per year while he & other guys who had been there 30 years were still paid 60k for the same work. There are huge advancements; I have said that Matriarchy is here in a vestigial form.

 

STM:   Vestigial is correct. Yes it is here but like an embryo. The embryo might have to develop for 200 years or more. Indeed, women are way freer than they were, but their brain-waves have not caught up with their opportunities. In their heads they are like the elephant, who, when he was a baby was chained to a stake he could not pull out. The elephant grew & can now pull the stake out, but he believes he can’t, so he doesn’t try.

 

          When you suggest to a woman to join a group where we will speak about forming the new religion, the first things they think of are what will their boyfriend or husband or family think? If they ask their family – the family is patriarchal – they will ask her what will her boyfriend or husband think? They are if not so much economically, – mentally & emotionally still dependent on men. They fear what men will think of them & do to them – chastise them, scold them, deny them something, forbid them, get angry & even strike them, etc. They know men will not like women setting off & starting something of their own. They want to be liked & loved by men. Only lesbians would be less afraid or not afraid. But even they have some fear. Why? They might not be emotionally dependent on a man but the ones in mainstream or professional work might be dependent on a society which gives jobs in which people network, & if they are ostracized from this society for eccentric behavior, such as helping form a new religion for women only, they might not get the job or lose the job they have. Reputation is important. Look how society ostracizes you for being in the adult trade.

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ME:   But we can do this in secret, can we not? Men conduct many of their behaviors in secret. They cheat on their wives in secret. They do pedophilia in secret. What they do at their men’s clubs is private. They have all kinds of men’s clubs they’ve been habituating for ages. Why don’t women have such clubs?

 

STM:   For the very same reasons we have been talking about – they are enslaved by men in various ways & it’s going to take a mighty long time for them to get free, way longer than you hope. They don’t have the courage you do. As far as secrecy, it can be done but not easily.

 

ME:   OK, it has to do with them depriving us of our culture, identity for thousands of years, brainwashing us, intimidating us. We have no place to go, our identity has been stripped, our culture erased so that we don’t even know what a Matriarchal Culture was like – we can only study the archaeological evidence & imagine – other than seeing what a few societies such as Mosuos do. They have stripped us of ourselves.

 

          But when you guys joined up during the bus strike, you went to your black Churches for strength. They were not African gatherings like with witch doctors; they were mostly Baptist Churches – religions of the white man imposed on you. I know God gave you great strength as you prayed, sang, & gave glory to her. It didn’t matter what religion, it wasn’t the old culture, it was the new culture you were born into, yet with it you succeeded. How was this different than what I’m doing or what I want to do?

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STM:   Not different, in a sense, this is exactly what you want to do. You want to take the women, separate them from the men, & call upon the God within them, then write their own scriptures. You’re doing the same thing we did in a different way – You’re calling on God. This separate religion is a great idea ahead of its time. You write down all that you can & in time, it will catch on. There are many ways women will find freedom; it will just take longer than you wish. It is inevitable. For women, it is ‘manifest destiny,’ like the getting to the end of the continent was for Lewis & Clark. {In 1845, newspaper editor John O’Sullivan coined the term “Manifest Destiny” to describe the ideology of continental expansionism. Though the term was new, the ideas underlying it were much older, dating back to the first colonial contact between Europeans and Native Americans.} The other side of America with its Pacific Ocean was there, we were meant as a nation to traverse the continent & establish our footing.

 

          In the same way it is inevitable that women will take over the world because human men are gong extinct. It will be a woman-only world – And so, all that you hope & wish for is coming. It just isn’t going to happen in your lifetime. But the work you’ve done is important for the preparation, as this won’t happen over night, it works out, it’s evolution. {End channeling}

 

ME:   Thank you St. Martin Luther King Jr., it’s been a pleasure.   {End Chapter 14}

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Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Channel St. Martin Luther King Jr.

Chapter 14

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Channel St. Martin Luther King Jr   7-7-21

 

 

          Channeling St. Martin Luther King, Jr. whom I call ‘St. Martini’ for short. I ask him,

 

          ME:   I made a comparison of my work to that of Our Lord, now I’d like to compare it to yours. It would be a given to say you fought for blacks & I fought for women. Of course, other applications were made, but that was the focus. However, what was different between your work & mine?

 

          STM {St. Martini}:   You fought alone, I became the leader of a movement, where Rosa Parks refused to sit in the back of the bus & was arrested, which started the Montgomery bus strike & thereafter the entire Civil Rights Movement.

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          ME:   Indeed. I was a lone wolf & here I see a big difference in my work & yours & I’d like you to tell me, from your point of view, what you see in my work as contrasting yours, my personal struggle/pain – & what you see different in the problems of fighting for female emancipation vs that of blacks. I especially want you to address why women won’t gather, nor employ sisterhood but fight & compete against one another, & I have not been able to get them to join up into a movement.

 

          STM:   You saw clearly how I suffered, how black people were abused as we fought for our rights. Your pain was a bit different in that you had no constituency – {we need to get more into this}, backup or following. I had a tremendous following, & although the pain was great, I was a respected, admired man all over the world, by my people & millions of others. I knew I was fighting for God’s truth – & so did they, ‘No lie lives forever.’ And so, there was consolation in that, it was bittersweet.

 

          But you, as you fought, got no accolades as you had no support from those you were fighting for. As soon as you got your foot in the door for women in body building, for instance, they repudiated you, competed with you instead of patting you on the back, saying ‘This is our hera, who opened the door for us.’ Of course, many women who came later didn’t understand because the men who were running the show – Joe Weider & Arnold – did not applaud or promote your legitimate part – in fact, they tried to put someone else as the icon, steal your thunder. {By the grace of God, all that they did with their million-dollar backup didn’t work – God prevailed, Truth came out in the end.}

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          Lisa Lyon was on the Tom Snyder Show with you {promoting body building & posing} in 1981, & there she admitted to you she had seen the Esquire article, July 1975, which started it all. She exclaimed,

 

          “THAT WAS YOU?”

 

          You had entered contests since 1972 which was the catalyst for fighting back against the double standard in body building. She entered one contest in 1979 & won – nothing else. She could have spoken about you when she went into the media, saying,

 

          “Yes, I saw Kellie Everts in Esquire & got the idea from her.”

         

          But she didn’t, & as she was dating Arnold, Arnold & Joe Weider backed her up, putting her on their magazine covers, getting her a book {not easy to get a book, but you beat her to the punch with your own by the Grace of God!}, helping her in every way to put her on the pedestal as the original body builder. It hurt to be swept under the rug.

 

          As the body building movement continued & thousands of women entered the field, many on drugs as muscular as men, you appeared on the internet – & there – these druggies jumped on you saying,

 

          “She does not represent us – she is not the kind of person we want speaking for us. We are genuine professionals, she was ‘tits & ass’ & she posed nude. We are athletes.”

 

          There is a reason for this which we will discuss later. But the effect on you was one of discouragement & sorrow, it was being betrayed.

 

          I was not betrayed by those in the know – the ones who loved God & Truth. They were & are forever behind me. But the other forces – those of Hell – came up against me. It was bittersweet, the lovers on one side, the haters on the other.

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          They took me, for instance, in a police van & drove me around in the darkness, handcuffed, for hours. I had no idea where they were taking me or what they would do; they just wanted to terrorize me as they had done to blacks for ages. That was their intent, & after some hours they released me.

 

          The FBI, J. Edgar Hoover, treated me like an enemy of the state, putting surveillance on me as I dallied in motels with women, then saying they’d expose me, the world would know, so I should commit suicide. The white supremacy Patriarchy wanted me dead.

 

          In the end I would not go down, even when a crazed black lady stabbed me through the chest. And so, they assassinated me, causing my martyrdom & even greater fame, I represented Jesus Our Lord for sure, dying on the Cross.

 

          Your path was inner anguish from being alone, criticized on all sides, not only attacked by men but women – the ones you were fighting for. That hurt the most. And that is the issue we must discuss.

 

          ME:   Yes. How is it that I have not been able to get women to join me in the fight? – Can’t get a group going, backup or support. When I come forward & work hard, they have ganged up on me & caused great stress, as I have to fight against them usually in groups. I expected the hate from men & got it, but when the women came forward, it was dreary. I am not talking only body building but Stripping for God & the Matriarchal movement. {I can’t think of a single woman who has supported me in any of this except Freyja Derrickson.}

 

          I did explain in my writings it was the ‘slave mentality,’ where slaves abuse other slaves as they obey the master. Master tells them to tie a slave to a post & scourge him, they do it. Master tells them to hang a slave, they comply. But surely, all women can’t be like that, there must be some who will fight? I found only one who fought with me, but she was under the cloak of a false name, under cover. I was & always have been, in front without a shield or cloak of ambiguity, I am just me, the one I say I am.

 

          And so, I ask you, according to my theory, is it the slave mentality women are under? And yet, the black people rose up against the white supremacy Patriarchy & won. They gathered, they held hands; they supported one another. Women, for the most part, aren’t doing that. I don’t see it anywhere. The feminist movement did get started – the second wave – by Betty Freidan’s book, but then it got taken over by the Rockefeller Foundation. It became mild, mainstream & middle class, it wasn’t chili pepper as it started, it became mayonnaise – no kick or punch.

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          That was when I started my ‘Woman, Thou Art God’ site & preached FEMALE SUPREMACY – FEMALE EMPOWERMENT – which was the next wave of the feminist movement, far ahead of fighting for equal rights. We now had information regards female superiority over men – lots of it – we even had the facts of looming male extinction. It was a whole ‘nother ballgame, picking up the baton where Gloria Steinem left off. My site was instituted in 2004.

 

          So now I opened the door to another phase & yes, it took off in two big ways. One, Freyja Derrickson helped women build ‘Female Supremacy Now’. It isn’t nationally known, but those in our field are touched by it. And then, in the Ukraine, a group of women took me at my word & began to do the things literally, which I claimed on my site. They jumped on an altar in a German Cathedral, for instance, topless, with ‘I am God’ written on the chest. One of them went to a park & chain sawed down the Cross of Our Lord & put herself in his place. They stormed Muslim cleric meetings & jumped on stage topless; they even invaded Putin’s office & bared their chest. They were combining nudity with revolution for women, claiming woman is God, just as I had said, the nudity alluding to my fame as a nude model & beauty queen.

 

          However, the dark note to this movement is that never for one moment did these women give me credit – none whatsoever, they wrote my name out of the book & why? You can take from someone else anonymously, mimic what they said, take those words as your own, & no one is any the wiser. They didn’t have to credit me, so they didn’t. But it would have been nice if they had – it would have respect for sisterhood – ‘we are one’. But all you hear is their own names calling for recognition ‘I did this, I did that.’ Again, no words of ‘I got the idea from Rasa Von Werder, her research & thoughts on Female Superiority, ‘Woman, Thou Art God.’

 

          {BTW my instinct tells me these women are a movement supported by the Ukrainian govt.– there is no way they could get the resources to do what they do by themselves. Not only would they lack the money, women usually lack the ability to gather & get aggressive–this was given them by the power & money of men controlling the Ukrainian govt. – for state purposes. The men got their pointers from my site & pay the women, & tell them what to do, & of course, it expanded into other things, all for a reason. But you notice no women in any other country are taking notice & doing the same –why? No money, resources, ability to gather or aggression. The movement does not contain the heart of a woman, so it isn’t contagious to other women. It is soul-less, the women are puppets of men who are working toward their Patriarchy. Somehow this activity serves their purpose.}

 

          STM:   This brings us to the important topic we’ve been discussing for two days:   Why you haven’t been able to rally women to the cause & how the fight for women’s rights differs from that of fighting for the rights of blacks.

 

          I brought out to you that women are far more brainwashed than the black people are. The blacks were brought from Africa to America starting in the 1600’s, many came here as late as the 1800’s, & so, many have retained their identity& culture from their place of origin, there’s still a memory of it, a connection.

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          But women have been brainwashed for thousands of years, it started about 10k ago & the Patriarchy got entrenched since about 6k ago. During this time women have been deprived of their roots, their identity, culture & society. They no longer know who they are –who they were. They have nothing to hold on to, it’s gone from their minds. There are no Matriarchal societies for women to escape to {women all over the world are not going to escape to the Mosuos in China, we’re speaking of easily accessible societies or cultures}, no Temples or Churches, the Wiccans were killed out of existence & defamed, only remnants exist, they are still disrespected. There aren’t any social orders for women to join where they can be themselves.

 

ME:   Explain what you told me earlier about identity, culture, being a place one can hold onto & when it’s taken away, it’s disempowering.

 

STM:   When the Africans were brought here they held on to their roots for generations, for some today it was only three generations or so ago. They had culture, religion, like Kunta Kinte {from Alex Haley’s Roots}. He was a warrior from a certain tribe, they had rituals, they had training. His life had identity. His name was his. When he came here as a slave his name was taken away – the original names were not permitted. They named him the way you would name your dog or cat, which took away his IDENTITY. He held onto his identity with all his might, even when they buried him & put his new name on the tombstone one of his friends erased it & put ‘Kunta Kinte.’

 

          To have identity & culture is to have some form of AUTONOMY. If an OPPRESSOR or any foreigner takes it away, they take away your INDIVIDUALITY, they ERASE who you were. Then they IMPOSE upon you their own stamp, like a brand on cattle, that you belong to them, they try to change what you believe, what you do. They in a sense, eat you up & digest you, there’s nothing left of the original you, you aren’t separate from them.

 

          This is what they did, for example, with Communism taking over the smaller countries close to it – Latvia, Estonia, Poland, & your country Lithuanian. They make Russian the state tongue, every school child has to learn their lessons in Russian, not Lithuanian, Russia has now become your state to whom you owe allegiance & loyalty. Whatever you had as an individual state is finished, illegal, no Lithuanian flag, no Lithuanian anthem or allegiance to the flag – it’s all swallowed up by Russia now.

 

The oppressors want to take away any idea you have of a power or influence other than themselves – whatever it may be. They want you to worship the state – the Patriarchy – & believe whatever they tell you.

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And no more religion. On paper the Communists said religion was legal, but in fact, the Churches & Church institutions were closed, {Communists said religion was the ‘opiate of the people,’} people lost their religion, & so the state had more power, they took away the influence the Churches & religion once had. You read a book written by a former thug, an athlete / boxer who was told that these bible belting believers were meeting in private, reading the bible & praying, & THEY WERE ENEMIES OF THE STATE. The thuggy was told they had to go to these meetings & break them up, beat up the participants. One of the members was a little old lady, the thug raised his club to strike her from the back but an invisible force stopped him. Before he left he took a page out of their bible to see what it was about, & going home, read it. He was startled at what it said – it was about love. He said, this is an enemy of the state? He left the govt. employ & eventually fled to America where he wrote his book, expecting to be assassinated.

 

Personal tyrants also do that – usually men over women, or men over both genders in cults. They separate you from family & friends, cut off all ties & paths to escape. They program & brainwash you to believe only in them, love only them, respect, venerate them, & if you don’t, there are dire consequences. Patriarchal religion also does that.

 

You, Rasa, know what it felt like to leave the Catholic Church in 1990, you were frightened. They had you brainwashed that so many things were sinful & wrong – all sex outside of marriage was wrong, homosexuality was sin, Wiccans were demons, birth control was a sin, women cannot be religious leaders or Priests – men have to dominate women spiritually – many other items. They make you feel GUILT & FEAR as forms of control, as if they have the right to impose their belief system onto you.

 

Tyrants can use any means – the state – religion – a cult – or a personal relationship to dominate & control.

 

But back to the original premise. When a person is FREE they have a CHOICE, at least when they grow into adulthood. They might have been born such a religion but they can change it later on. They might live in a certain place but they can leave it & join a different culture.

 

Now when culture, religion & the state are all intertwined you have a problem. Such is what you are experiencing with the Patriarchy. No matter how you cut it, what religion or state you are in, what society, men rule, men dominate, men call the shots, men have the advantage, men make war, men makes the laws & impose them on everyone.  {To be continued}

 

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Core Tenets, Uncategorized

What is an Avatar? Chap 13

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What is an Avatar?

7-5-21 

          Now we come to the last term I mentioned – Avatars.

This is unfamiliar to Christians, it’s a Yoga term.    It means:

Hindu Mythology. the descent of a deity to the earth in an incarnate form or some manifest shape; the incarnation of a god.

 

My understanding of Avatar is someone, in Yoga terms, who gained Enlightenment & is in Heaven, & volunteers to return to earth although they don’t have to – {as they are fully evolved & ‘realized’ beings} – to help humanity. The title Avatar applies to Jesus.

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I was told by my God Self that hundreds such persons enter the earth every year, even every day, but most do not succeed in their mission. Why? Because it’s too hard to change an evil world with God’s truth. So they try & give up. The few who succeed, you hear about.

 

Avatars & Messiahs are the same thing, but we reserve the title Messiah for Jesus, no one else.

 

The nature of the mission of an Avatar as differing from Prophet or Saint – is that it includes one facet that is especially strong, & that is WARFARE. Indeed, as St. Paul explains, we fight enemies not carnal, but evil spirits which can be in high places {places of leadership.} And of course, we need weapons that are not carnal but spiritual, which are from the Holy Spirit – Righteousness, Truth, Peace, Faith, Discernment of spirits, all the virtues such as Faith, Hope, Trust & Confidence in God, Love, Forgiveness, wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety, and fear of the Lord. There are also the Gifts of Power – Healing & Miracles.

 

All the Saints & Prophets do warfare against the Kingdom of Satan – there are numerous stories of their battles with demons, some metaphysical, others incarnated in humans – St. Padre Pio fought many – they all do. And all the Saints & Prophets were persecuted, even killed. They came, as do Avatars, into an evil world to change it. Saints & Prophets are preachers, teachers, admonishers, exemplars, symbols & voices of God on earth. They are all serving the Monarchy of God in different ways. But Avatar usually denotes a special mission, besides holiness, soul saving & demon smiting, Avatars have to face great human conflicts.

 

The similarity between Jesus ministry & my own is that we entered into the world to face enemies – Enemies embedded, incarnated in the flesh within Patriarchy. We did battle with humans as well as the evil spirits within them: We came to:

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Correct wrongs

Fix what is false or fake

Chastise the wicked by pointing out their ways

Bring out truth, denounce lies

Confront those who mislead & misinform others

Liberate the captives, set free the oppressed

Teach not to bully, oppress or abuse others, be righteous & fair

We exemplified many other items that bring forth the Monarchy of God & put down the Kingdom of Satan.

 

I shall explain some of these items point by point, to prove to you my similarity with Jesus & Buddha in the type of work I do – what I am, what I am not, what the meaning of my life has been – Why you cannot discover my meaning by looking into the businesses I have been in – the adult trade, dancing, films, glamour, all that. That is not who I am. That is where I was sent, to dispel many evils in those fields.

 

The examples below are but one sample or incident of hundreds that occurred.

 

Let’s take it one by one. Correct wrongs: The wrongs done to women, women in the adult trade in particular. The wrongs done to women in the field of body building. It wasn’t about – people ask me – how much did I bench press? It’s about how did I correct the wrong that men were treated with respect but women like bimbos, in that field. The men hated what I did & only gave in to it when it couldn’t be stopped & they profited by it.

 

Fix what is false or fake: It was taught by men that women were inferior, that they had to obey men in all things, including religion. Men were the head of the family. Women had to defer to them, laugh at their bad jokes & let the men dominate them. I taught Female Supremacy – which is a known biological fact – not just later in life as a Guru, teacher, writer, publisher, but when still young, became a Dominatrix & alone with that pushed my agenda, appearing on many national & local TV shows & radio preaching Supremacy. In this way I was confronting the male domination Patriarchy, & of course they fought back. It was a war.

 

Chastise the wicked by pointing out their ways: I had to chastise men for their treatment of women but also women who betrayed other women, who would not treat them like sisters but competitors. I held up sisters wherever I could, built up their self esteem, encouraged them to help other women.

 

Bring out truth – denounce lies: Lies were & are all around us in this evil Patriarchal world. One lie was that we are either Madonnas or whores. I dispelled that by being a Saintly figure, preaching & teaching, while in the adult trade, as the Stripper for God. No woman had ever done this in history, it was difficult. I was specially gifted to withstand the heat, the calumny, the death threats, the ridicule, in short – the abuse. I was not paid to do this work; it was out of love of God. I did all my own promotion & publicity, hardly anyone helped me – in 21 years, the venues helped me twice.

 

Confront those who mislead & misinform others: One of those items was fighting for the dignity & respect for prostitutes, whom I call adult therapists. I went on a big press junket, worked out by myself, on about a dozen radio shows & one syndicated TV show, to speak up for them. They could not find a real prostitute who could do it, I had to impersonate one, knowing everyone would recognize me, but I did it for them & all women. I stressed how the system pimps the women, taking their money, by arresting, fining, even jailing them. It should be not legalized but de-criminalized. No one was on my side. They just didn’t get it, they dump on these workers, project all the sins onto them; make it seem they don’t deserve rights, respect or love. I countered that with ‘Prostitutes are people – invite one to dinner.’ I told them street prostitutes get raped once a week, that’s why many take drugs. They are subject to violence, robbery & murder. It’s as dangerous of a job as being on the front lines of war. But people are taught to spit on them & despise them, look upon them as subhuman. They deserve love as much as anyone does; they do what they do out of need or desperation, give them a break. They are therapists just as professionals in offices are, except their job is harder & gains great prejudice.

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Liberate the captives, set free the oppressed:   I was part of the action to liberate women, to set them free from the oppression of men. And so, of course, I was the enemy of men as when I liberated women I took away their slaves, when I empowered women I disempowered men. They fought tooth & nail, including denouncing me in various ways, threatening me, causing great confusion to mix up the facts, denying all their evil, & even saying I should be dead. It was the gender war where they had for thousands of years been the winners, but their power was slipping away with the feminist movement.

 

I was fighting demons – feminism, female empowerment, & Matriarchy are ideologies against Satan. Satan is a liar from the first, he destroys, & demons fight back. Their first assault is denouncing, degrading the women, saying they are man haters & lesbians. Morton Downey called me ‘a man-hating bitch.’ Why? Because I said the adult trade would not exist unless men demanded it. They demand, we provide. Yet we are blamed for it, they aren’t. Then Downey said, ‘I will show you how I kick the living shit out of a broad,’ throwing a magazine with me on the cover, slamming against the wall. His audience cheered, as they were programmed puppets salivating for hate & violence. He ripped the mike off my chest – I was standing & he pushed me back into my chair. He said ‘She probably has diseases.’ ‘Oh, you saw the Bl. Virgin? You were on drugs.’

 

Not to bully, oppress or abuse others, be righteous & fair:   Again, since I was in the adult trade, I represented women there, but also women in general who were being abused. One of the main ways the Patriarchy holds women down is by slut shaming. I brought out in my interviews & writings the double standard is wrong. The woman caught in adultery – where was the man? In my Cougar promotion, also, I brought out that women have the right to have fun, just as do men. We don’t want to retire, watch babies, grow flowers & knit. We want to dance, have sex with young men, do all that men do. And for old women sex is easier to get than for old men. Old men have to pay for it, old women don’t. I brought out how young men are naturally attracted to women their mother’s age, but they are ridiculed for it & these type relationships are discouraged. If you left young men alone many of them would marry old women. We have overpopulation anyway; we are destroying the habitats of other animals. Our purpose in life is no longer breeding; we can cut back on that. I explained how young males marrying old women, the old ladies would influence them & there’d be less wars. But the Patriarchy wants war; their world is built on it. So the Patriarchs fought back, after a time refusing to give me promotion & publicity once they understood what I was doing – sweeping away their house of cards.

 

          I will ask my Mother God to make comment here on how God sent me as an Avatar to be in the places I was, do what I did, & how God managed, prepared & set the stage for me.

 

          MG:   You were an answer to women, as you said, specifically women oppressed in the adult trade. Who could liberate women in the adult trade? It had to be one of them, so God sent you. It could not be an academic, they weren’t about that. It couldn’t even be the feminists, they opposed you, they said the adult trade was degrading to women & should be abolished. You ran for one of their offices in NOW & had all your lady friends there to vote for you, so they called the election off. They hadn’t the slightest idea about the adult trade, & the way it should be addressed – they couldn’t see liberating women there, decriminalizing it; feminists were ignorant & prejudiced because they were not in the trade. They were regular women with all the delusions about it – all they could see was ‘they are degrading themselves.’ Well, being servants & maids was also degrading – were they going to abolish those jobs also?

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God equipped you especially for what you were to do with a superior body. You could not do the work with an ordinary one. So you won contests & modeled, & were admired & gained recognition for this. This was planned by God.

 

Then there was the abuse. God wanted you strong. Look at the other members of your family – weaklings. They ganged up on you & betrayed you – you were alone in the household resisting & taking the shit. This prepared you for what was to come, God hardened you, toughened you up. You were going to fight on the largest battlefield of life – the gender war. The first conspiracy was against women, by men, women were enslaved by the creatures they created, who were made to love & serve them. You were to fight these oppressors, & this doesn’t happen without them fighting back.

 

Look at the others in your family – proud & spoiled. Where did it get them? They had no great role in the theater of life; to set the captives free, to do God’s work, to help humanity. They led regular lives, they were not anointed. They were exercise boys & girls to make you tough & all that they did to you was done later on by various people, men & women. You were disrespected, called names, disparaged, looked down upon, threatened, your life many times at risk but saved by the Guardian Angels. No weak woman could have lived your life – God knew this, if you were to serve God & obey her, you had to be strong, that meant you had to be trained. Jesus was trained from the age of 12 to 29 for his ministry – even a great Guru reincarnated had to go through education & training.

 

God orchestrated many other things in your life so that you could serve her & do the best for humanity. You could not be ignorant or unlettered to do the work, you had to be educated. And so God made sure you had a Professor Dad who taught you that study was the key, & you studied constantly all your life, which then & now serves you. God gave you brains as well as body, they were equally important in the fight.

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God also infused you with Grace & Virtue – these are the weapons of God. She gave you fantastic Zeal & Obedience for her Monarchy.

 

In a word, you were sent by God, you did the work of God, you obeyed God, you were armed by God, & you will live with God forever in the most wonderful place in heaven.

 

What is the meaning of your life? That is it. You are a Woman of God, & on your tombstone all you want is ‘She obeyed God.’ Case closed. That’s who you are.

 

         Those who see you in part, oh, ‘She’s the dancer,’ ‘Oh, she’s the pornographer,’ ‘Oh, she’s the adult trade worker,’ ‘Oh, she’s an actress,’ Oh, etc., are all wrong. You are a great soul, who became human, to whom God gave a perfect body & brain, who came to earth to help empower women, establish Matriarchy, & bring back worship of Mother God & veneration of women. That’s who you are.

 

          ME:   Thanks Mother God & Amen.        {End Chapter 13}

 

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Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Chap 13 Meaning of my Life

kali-2

Chapter 13   Meaning of my Life – How to Understand it 

7-4-21  

 

                     It is the OPPOSITE of what many people assumed:  “You gotta’ have a gimmick” from the story of Gypsy Rose Lee.  I was accused of this countless times by people who looked no deeper.  Everything a sound byte, a quick analysis, they think they’re so smart saying that.

 

          People like me are sent by God.  To understand my life you have to see if from the perspective of God – How does God work to bring her truth, her Monarchy to earth?

 

          You cannot understand it by comparing it to Gypsy Rose Lee, Marilyn Monroe, or any film star.  Yes, as a dancer I was a success, but compared to real film stars, I would be a failure.  But that’s not who I was.  My purpose was to fulfill a mission for God.

 

          Several questions arise.  What has been my mission?  How was it fulfilled? {We’ll come to that.}

 

Spiritual Liberation – Evan Roberts

 

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          Understand another truth, that when people are sent by God it’s rarely a one-man, one-woman show.  I learned that from studying lives of the saints.  Take the example of Evan Roberts, who is credited with starting the Welsh Revival.  He was summoned & appeared from the prayers of more than one person.  A man had been praying for years that a religious guy would appear from the rank & file – a common man – & touch the hearts of others for revival.  Evan himself prayed for a mission, an anointing, since his early years.  There were others calling upon God for such a revival, & it came to pass, & it was miraculous.

 

          Wikipedia:   Evan John Roberts (8 June 1878 – 29 January 1951), was an evangelist and leading figure of the 1904–1905 Welsh Revival[1]

His obituary in The Western Mail summed up his career thus:

“He was a man who had experienced strange things. In his youth, he had seemed to hold the nation in the palms of his hands. He endured strains and underwent great changes of opinion and outlook, but his religious convictions remained firm to the end.”

 

People are summoned by the prayers, suffering & desires of people.  They call out to God & what does God do?  She sends out Prophets, Avatars & Saints, powerful people who have ability for those who need help.  Each person sent is obviously suitable to answer the prayers, the need at that time.  When such a person is sent, it’s to bring about some sort of change, to save people from something.  It could be from the slavery of sin, & it might be from the slavery of one type of people oppressing another. 

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Liberator Moses

 

Look at the life/ministry of Moses.  He was sent to rescue the Jews from the Egyptian oppression – they must have been crying out hard to God.  He had an unusual beginning, being put upon the waters in a cradle/boat as an infant, he floated down to where the Egyptian Princess, Pharaohs daughter was bathing, & she took him as her own, raised him in the Palace as an Egyptian.  Eventually Moses fled Egypt because he killed an Egyptian & the penalty for that would be death – he fled to Midian.

 

Because Moses had his ‘foot in the door,’ eventually he was able to go back to Pharaoh & receive an audience with him – as he had been part of the Pharaoh’s household.  One imagines an ordinary Hebrew would not have been given an audience.

 

The story of Moses & the Israelites is known to most people like the palm of their hand.  My point is that he was summoned  by his people to get them out of the oppression they were in, & he did so.  His life was planned by God, he lived it, he obeyed his God & did what he had to do.

 

It is besides the point that I don’t approve of the Old Testament religion, it’s a Patriarchal based on war, exploitation & misogyny, filled with violence & abuse.  But they believed they & their religion were righteous & they needed deliverance from the Egyptians & their ‘false’ religion, so they prayed for help, & all or most prayers are eventually answered.

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          Harriet Tubman—American Moses

 

The American ‘Moses’ was a black woman named Harriet Tubman.  Although she transported only 70 of the 100,000 slaves who escaped through the Underground Railroad, she became famous. Wikipedia:

 

 The Underground Railroad was a network of secret routes and safe houses established in the United States during the early to mid-19th century. It was used by enslaved African Americans primarily to escape into free states and Canada.[1] The scheme was assisted by abolitionists and others sympathetic to the cause of the escapees.[2] The enslaved who risked escape and those who aided them are also collectively referred to as the “Underground Railroad”.[3] Various other routes led to Mexico,[4] where slavery had been abolished, and to islands in the Caribbean that were not part of the slave trade.[5] An earlier escape route running south toward Florida, then a Spanish possession (except 1763–83), existed from the late 17th century until approximately 1790.[6][7] However, the network now generally known as the Underground Railroad was formed in the late 18th century. It ran north and grew steadily until the Emancipation Proclamation was signed by President Abraham Lincoln.[8] One estimate suggests that, by 1850, 100,000 enslaved people had escaped via the network.  The ‘Underground Railroad’ or escaped routes, plus Harriet Tubman & others like her, were summoned by the prayers of the slaves & those who loved others.  Harriet Tubman was a woman of God & heard her Voice, calling her to do what she did.

 

Jesus is Called

 

It is explained in the New Testament that righteous Jews were waiting for the Messiah – the definition is ‘any expected deliverer.’  When Mary presented Jesus for the first time at the synagogue, an old man, Simon, proclaimed He was it, & now that he’d seen him, he could die in peace.

 

Jesus was scarcely understood in his lifetime, it took eons to get it.  His disciples themselves were confused, & not until the Holy Spirit descended upon them & all the followers {in the Cenacle, after long prayer & supplication} did they know what they had to do & were empowered to do it.

 

Jesus was just like Buddha.  Buddha was not a Patriarch, he preached against sacrifice of animals, against the cruel Caste System & he was not a misogynist.  Women were equal in his religion & still are.  Buddhism was peace & love & still is.

 

I have stated before I believe in the BBC documentary called ‘Jesus in Kashmir.’

 

Jesus was a reincarnated Buddhist Guru from Tibet.  The 3 Wise Men from the East were Buddhists.  Jesus disappearance at age 12 & reappearance age 29 was because he was taken to Tibet to learn ministry & returned to help his people.

 

Jesus also taught us not to sacrifice animals, but ourselves & our sins, he was the Lamb of God to the slaughter.  He showed us self-sacrifice by acceptance of the Cross.

 

He also did not believe in the Caste System – prejudice & oppression of the poor.  He taught of the ‘good Samaritan’ & he ministered to the ‘woman at the well’ who was a foreigner.  He spoke the Beatitudes, which ennobled suffering, poverty& oppression, that such people would be Blessed.

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And women?  He did not teach what St. Paul later did – that women must obey men & not speak in Church – that was a throwback to the old ways.  He walked with women openly, his mother, Mary Cleophas & Mary Magdalene – which was against Orthodox Jewish rules.  He was against stoning the woman caught in adultery – {where was the man?}  He showed the men they could not judge by what he wrote in the sand for each.  Jesus was a true Buddhist & his Christianity is the new Buddhism.

 

Meaning of my Life   Continue Chapter 13

             

This is pertinent about the Meaning of Jesus’ life:

 

                     About Christ, the Messiah

 

Matthew 16

1

13

When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?”

14

They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.”

15

“But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?”

16

Simon Peter answered, “You are the Christ,[2] the Son of the living God.”

17

Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by man, but by my Father in heaven.

18

And I tell you that you are Peter,[3] and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades[4] will not overcome it.[5]

19

I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be[6] bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be[7] loosed in heaven.”

20

Then he warned his disciples not to tell anyone that he was the Christ.

 

          Jesus had done all kinds of miracles & removed demons before the eyes of the disciples but none of them knew who He was – that he was Christ, the Son of God, the Messiah that had been predicted.  Peter was touched by the Holy Spirit & blurted out who Jesus was & Our Lord was pleased.  His Holy Mother knew who he was when at the wedding feast of Cana she told them ‘Do whatever He says.’  He’d not yet done his miracles but she knew he could & would.

 

          There are various types of persons & titles for persons sent by God.  There are Prophets, Saints, Avatars, Messiahs, & these people have various Gifts to enable their work.

 

          Let’s get some definitions:

                    

                                                   Prophets

 

  Prophet:    a person who speaks for God or a deity, or by divine inspiration.  (in the Old Testament)

a person chosen to speak for God and to guide the people of Israel:  Moses was the greatest of Old Testament prophets.

Other terms for prophets are medium, clairvoyant, bard & witch.

          Jesus told the disciples he was more than a prophet – all those from the Old Testament were not able to do what He had.  John the Baptist was a Prophet & he said to Jesus he was not fit to tie his shoes.  A Messiah is a greater appearance than a Prophet.

Saints

          Another term:   Saint.  I read some place the Catholic Church has 28k saints – Wikipedia says it’s 10k.  There are in reality, way more than that known by God.  There are also numerous Saints in the ProtestantChurch, but they don’t declare them.  Then there’s all the other religions.  In totality there have been millions of Saints.  Definition & synonyms for Saint:

 

          any of certain persons of exceptional holiness of life, formally recognized as such by the Christian Church, especially by canonization.

 

a person of great holiness, virtue, or benevolence.

 

A martyr, glorified soul or holy being.

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All Messiahs are Saints, but not all Saints are Messiahs.  What is the purpose – to other people – of a Saint, in the Kingdom of God?  From the internet:

 

Saints are venerated but not worshiped. They are believed to be able to intercede for salvation and help mankind either through direct communion with God or by personal intervention.

 

Me – OK, about the veneration & worship.  It’s about degree of the pedestal, so worship is the highest degree, while veneration is lower.  I don’t strictly go by that.  I worship Mary as if She was God, the same as Jesus.  I have worshiped all my Gurus as God because I am not looking at their flesh but their God Self.  I worship my own God Self, I know I am God inside my soul.  I also know all humans have God within them, some not realized or active, while those who are ‘born again’ have the active God inside.

 

I will channel my God Self.  We have now covered three types of people from God.  Let me hear you explain how each one works, their purpose.  Let’s start with Prophet, then go to Saint & Messiah:

 

Mother God {MG}:   I prophet comes to warn people, mostly about repentance from sin.  Sometimes they demonstrate God Powers, such as healing & removing evil spirits or doing other wondrous things.

 

A Saint is someone who exemplifies & demonstrates Holiness, or the way of Perfection with God.  They can be active saints who go into the world or contemplatives living in privacy & do there work secretly.  Contemplatives reach others through prayer, which has great Power from a Holy Soul – they can do all the things Prophets do without leaving their abodes.  Active Saints go into the world, like the great St. Teresa of Calcutta, & St. John Paul II, St. Catherine of Sienna, & St. Francis of Assisi {although all saints can contemplate while also being active, they have an intimate walk with God – that’s contemplation.  Contemplative {or you might say ‘cloistered’ Saints were St. Clare, St. Theresa of Liseux, St. Padre Pio {but he heard thousands of confessions & dealt with people who came to him}, St. Mary of Agreda, St. Anne Catherine Emmerich, & St. Faustina.

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 Jesus said to the sister of Magdalene, ‘Martha, you worry about so many things, but Mary has the better part.’  Mary was sitting at his feet – that’s a contemplative, so Jesus declared contemplation is higher than action.  However, you must do whatever God declares you to do – some people are supposed to be active, some contemplative, some go back & forth or are strong in doing both on the same day.  Obey God & see how She leads you.

 

A Messiah or the Messiah as Christians believe is a Special Human sent by God to deliver a certain group of people, but overall, save all those who believe in him.  Jesus stands out here in every way.  Jesus came to deliver the Jews not from the Romans but the Old Testament.  He said he came to FULFILL the law, not to destroy it, but in fulfilling the ancient ways he also abolished them.  He abolished ‘an eye for an eye,’ revenge.  He was not for animals sacrifice.  He was not for misogyny.  He ended circumcision {thank God!}.  He amended, changed, & circumvented all the ungodliness in the Israelite religion – as for instance, when He knocked over the money changers tables in the Temple – that was a long-held custom that Jesus declared wrong.  {That speeded up his arrest & crucifixion.}

 

ME:   So what did Jesus mean He didn’t come to abolish the Old Testament or old ways but He came to fulfill it?

 

MG:   He came to CORRECT the old ways, remove the bad from the good.  The Ten Commandments were fine, but there were so many inconsistencies in the Hebrew religion. For instance, when they spoke of virtue, kindness, loving they neighbor, they referred only to their Hebrew neighbor.  They didn’t love any of their neighbors, anyone that was not their own.  They didn’t respect them, murdered them in war & stole & raped their girls.  And they said they did this in the name of God!  They said actually God demanded they kill the virgins also & was mad at them for keeping the girls!  So it’s just a word – fulfill or change.

 

 Jesus came to take the wickedness out of the Hebrew religion, & there you have Buddhism, the religion of Peace, Love thy Neighbor meaning all neighbors – all races, both genders, no violence, love & kindness for all {‘Whatever you do to the least of these, you do to me!’  And I might add Buddhism & real Christianity {not the Christianity as taken over by males} is Matriarchy.  There was no war or weapons of war when humans worshipped Mother God & venerated women.  Buddhism & real Christianity would have no Crusades or Inquisitions.   {To be continued}

 

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Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Channel Marilyn–Spirituality

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Chapter 12  Channeling Marilyn

– Spiritual Revelations  6-30-21

 

 

          What is channeling? Its mind reading, but it can go like this: Consider when two computers are connected, where one can read another. You can do that with channeling – I often do. And so, the person or mind you are channeling is aware of anything contained within your mind – they can be edified, gain understanding, insight, get any type of knowledge or info that is in your mind.

 

          I’ve been channeling Marilyn Monroe the last two days, all day, asking her questions. When she answers, if its about me, she looks into my mind to provide the answer – in other words, she knows where I was coming from when I did this or that, what I desired, what I strove for, the good it did, & based on what was & what is, what’s ahead.

 

          I have an affinity for Marilyn as I’ve known of her since being a child, when she was starring in Gentleman Prefer Blondes & How to Marry a Millionaire. The year was 1953, I was 8 years old. I recall clearly walking by a movie marquee which portrayed her as the most beautiful woman in the world, & prayed, “God, make me a billion times more beautiful than Marilyn Monroe.”

 

          Some connection with a soul ahead of time causes us to connect with them later. Many of the celebrities I helped get out of Purgatory I had contact with in some form previous to their death & Purgatorial time. Example, Anthony Quinn – I had read his autobiography, ‘The Original Sin.’

  Below:  This is how we looked, how they looked, & they wanted sex.  What they saw was not what we saw.

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          Errol Flynn, I saw many of his movies & adored him.

 

          James Brown I had had an affair with.

 

          Dr. Robert Atkins had been courting me.

 

          Elvis Presley I was in love with since age 10.

 

          Rudolf Nureyev I was a fan.

 

          George C. Scott I respected.

 

          Richard Pryor I spent the night with {no sex.}

 

          Frank Sinatra & Dean Marin I admired – they appeared to me the same night for deliverance.

 

          Timothy McVeigh I heard of in the news, I pitied him as I felt he’d gone insane, when I reached him in Purgatory he said I was the only one able to do so.

 

          Anna Nicole Smith I pitied.

 

          There are many other cases, but this serves to illustrate the point. With Marilyn, I felt a kinship because on some level, I wanted to be like her, a successful bombshell. We had both been models, actors & glamour dolls.

          When Andre de Dienes took me to Hollywood from New York, that was the beginning of my new life. He was also the first one to hire her to go on the road as a model – they toured the U.S. according to him, for 5 weeks, with me, it was 3 weeks, on the road from New York to CA, probably route #66; we spent a few nights in motels, he stopped at some Indian Reservation where I saw a town of thousands of Indians. When we landed in CA he did take me to his house in the Hollywood Hills. I loved it – it had skylights, it was wonderful. But we couldn’t stay there as he had rented it out to a couple for $200 {same as $1,800 in 2021} & the month wasn’t up yet. He cursed himself for renting it out ‘so cheap.’ We stayed in modest motels in the L.A. area for about 2 ½ weeks until he dumped me on a street in Venice, {a slum at the time, about to be renovated}, because I wouldn’t put out. Prior to that he gave me Marilyn Monroe’s makeup suitcase –a square box with rounded edges with a mirror inside, light green. I carried it around for years.

 

          I will ask Marilyn why I find it so easy & compatible to channel her, much easier than many others. She says,

 

          MM:   We have the same kind of heart, open, pure, caring about others. We also felt alone – me being an orphan, you being abused by your Mom & abandoned by Dad. We both went into show business, we both were aspiring to be glamour dolls, we both loved God & all that She represents.

 

          ME:   On that note, to me, the most important point in your life is where did you fail, that it led to suicide? What went wrong? What is the most important thing in life for a person to attain? Certainly not fame & fortune, we both know that doesn’t guarantee happiness. 

Below:  Marilyn at various stages of life

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          MM:   What I failed to do was find God & myself, that God is there & we are One. That is the main point of your present religion, the one you wrote for women, their autonomy. {Woman, Thou Art God}

 

          ME:   I understand & believe you, but there are untold millions of people who have never found God, but they keep living in the flesh, they are spiritually dead & when they die they go to Hell. But they feel no emptiness or loss, they live for the world, they don’t kill themselves.

 

          MM:   But I wasn’t like them. Most people project onto me the qualities they do upon you & all women in our business – that we love what we do, that we ARE what we do. But we are children of God. It’s a means to an end, the object being to be loved, so that others would find us loveable, not abandon us the way we have been abandoned. But in the end, we reach the pinnacle of success & we find that people don’t love us, that is the heartbreaking point. For you, you were not alone; you had reached the pinnacle of success with God. But I hadn’t, I reached the height of earthly glory, but,

 

          “What profit a woman, if she gains the whole world but loses her soul, for what will she exchange for her soul?”

 

          I knew there was God, who is all good. I knew a lot about God but I couldn’t GRASP her; I couldn’t feel her nurturing touch, her consolation, guidance, peace. I was lost in that sense, in this evil wicked world which although I was the most glamorous & physically desired creature in the world, no one loved me in God’s love {sacrificial love}, I was alone, helpless, & frightened. The pictures Andre took of me in his book, where I asked him to photograph me in the seedy backstreets of Beverly Hills, by the light of his car lights, I look frightened. That was the real me – which I covered up valiantly.

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          The real me was also shown in “Don’t Bother to Knock,” a mentally disturbed young lady who acts as baby sitter. When she’s busted she once again dons her institution uniform & stands in the lobby of this hotel staring outwardly. The look on her face is bewildered, confused & scared. That’s the real me. The Gentleman Prefer Blondes & How to Marry a Millionaire is a big farce on my part, a put on & a façade – not real in the least.

 

          The more success I had the more I realized it was not going to bring me what I wanted & I became desperate – like,

 

Marilyn’s Disappointment

 

          “Oh, wow, this didn’t lead me to fulfillment & happiness; I am empty – empty of love, empty of meaning. The people around me were pressuring me to give them what they wanted – the studio their film footage. I couldn’t sleep, I was exhausted. I had insomnia for lack of peace, then I got addicted to barbiturates, then it got worse. Then I took so many to try to sleep I could not get up, I was exhausted when we had to film – everyone was angry at me. Then I felt super guilty, that I’m a bad person.

 

          As far as men, you know how that is. I did not have a Richard Von Werder who agreed to my celibacy. You – being of God – God summoned you a man with a Saintly character who accepted your celibacy – He said it was because you were virtuous, & he accepted you as a maternal figure with whom sex was not appropriate. He did whatever you wanted – so did your other best friends, Saint Esquire & ‘Saint Astaire’.} {This was of course after many years of abuse when you were young, vulnerable & innocent, from family & men when you started to be an adult. You had a horrible first husband.}

 

          There was a reason you met such men – it was because of your sacrifice of celibacy. You looked out for God’s business & God looked out for yours.

 

          What was my path? You learned from the great orphan-benefactor of England, George Murrell, that one should pray to God & ask God for all their needs, not to ask people. And God provided him with all that was needed, each day for his orphanages, through people. God summoned & motivated the people who were needed to provide – say, one was a baker – HE COULDN’T SLEEP, it was 2AM, & God inspired him to start baking bread & take it to the orphanage, he was just in time for breakfast – the children had no bread.

 

          It’s the principle of ‘Put first the Kingdom of God, & everything shall be added unto you.’ 

 Below:  Me at various stages of life, 19 to 65

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          George Murrell put first the Kingdom of God, so did you. Your main focus, mind, was always on God. What did God want or not want me to do? How can I get closer to God? Where do I go, what do I do? You played it by ear, you heard God’s voice. You worked on your communication with God with constant prayer & spiritual reading, no matter what in life was gong on, including on the road stripping. It all unfolded. You didn’t know your path, but you sensed you were not to do certain things, not to marry Mickey Hargitay, for instance – that wasn’t your path, or any of the rich & famous men who asked you for your hand. You did not know where you would go, but you knew where you shouldn’t, & your thirty years of celibacy were an important part of that road that kept you from negative waters.

 

          It was during those years of celibacy, 1978, that God saw Richard Von Werder sitting in a burlesque audience watching you {the Melody Theater NYC}, & an angel tapped him on the shoulder & said, ‘This is your wife.’

 

          You did not meet him in person until 1986 & did not marry until the year 2000, but he was the most valuable man in your life – all due to celibacy for the love of God. You knew you couldn’t snag a husband through having sex – so God found you one that would accept your celibacy.

 

          As for me, you know the routine. I went from man to man – important ones that would get me ahead. Wikipedia names a few – Johnny Hyde got me a 7 year contract with Fox. Sidney Skolsky was a famous columnist, Joseph Schenck studio boss, directors & movie stars. I was not pursuing or striving toward Oneness with God, that is why I could not achieve it. God does not arrive automatically, had I put in as much effort toward reaching God as I did being in the movies, I would have done so. I achieved what I struggled for – so did you.

 

 

Tina Turner’s Buddhist Chant

 

 

          ME:   It might be useful here to mention a famous singer who did rise up out of her miseries through praying a God-chant, Tina Turner. She was being repeatedly abused & beaten by her creepy husband, she met up with her gf who taught her to chant NAM MYOHO RENGE KYO – & at the worst of times, she chanted this four hours straight. {See Wikipedia}

 

          This changed her life. Three years later she broke up with Ike Turner & thereafter had the biggest comeback in musical history, this in her 40’s.

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          Before she started chanting, she was considered a ‘nostalgic’ act, but after that she EXPLODED with NEW success. And so, there is your example when a person puts first the Kingdom of God, & how God heals them at their need.

 

Relationships as Ladders to Success

 

          About Marilyn & relationships with important men. Indeed, these men brought her to the water, but she had to drink. They did not do the work – she did. She’s the one that worked out her makeup & hair with professional help. The studio gave her Natasha Lytess but she had to take the acting lessons. They provided wardrobe but she had to stay in shape & wear the clothes. Promotional opportunities were granted, she had to do the posing & go to events & ‘arm candy’ dates. Johnny Hyde got her a 7 year contract, but he did not sing & dance for her. They got her films, she learned her lines, rehearsed & performed. They opened doors – she walked through them. Her success, bottom line, was cooperation & hard work.

 

          And so, in brief, she exchanged her favors with some important men but those men did not work & perform, she did.

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          There are some naïve people – the models I photographed for one – who think that meeting the right people they will automatically put your name in lights. You have to cooperate with these people, give them their pound of flesh. Marilyn did, I didn’t. Marilyn reminds me of the time I was with the William Morris agency, they took me to a Chief, maybe a VP like Johnny Hyde – he only wanted to know one thing – would I go out with him? I said I could not, I was married. So, no more auditions. I had no idea at the time – I was 19 – that these people had no morals regarding sex. Not saying I was innocent, not a vestal virgin, sometimes I did things like that, sometimes I did not. I naively thought he’d think I was immoral, a married woman, saying yes to sex with a married man – I thought he might look down on a woman like that. I was ignorant, God wanted me that way that day. Some women knew the score better than me – Marilyn did – maybe her desire was stronger, maybe she knew this was her path. Maybe God wanted me to be naïve & ignorant about ‘it’s not who you know, it’s who you blow.’ It would be a path, for me, of darkness. I did not understand where it was leading, but God knew. I was not to be another Marilyn Monroe, I was to be a woman used by God & I had to be involved with body building & the adult trade. Those two items led to the Fatima speech before the White House, which ended the Cold War, the threat of WWIII & nuclear annihilation.

 

          To become a full time film star would have eliminated these two roles, Progenitor of female body building & Stripping for God. Movie stardom would have taken the wind out of my sails – the Holy Spirit out of my endeavors. I had a singular path, to the beat of a different drummer, to bring ideas into the world that the world did & didn’t like – How Jesus appeared to the Jews. He was loved & hated; loved by those pure in heart, hated by the prejudiced, hypocritical, tyrannical establishment. He bucked the status quo, the fundamentalists murdered him.

 

          Marilyn keeps saying to me,

 

          “You missed nothing. Look what movie stardom got me. Your life was more important than movies, you changed the world, as a movie star, all I did was entertain.”

 

God’s Plan for My Life

 

 

          God had A PLAN. God knew how the map would work from her Infinite place, how it would happen in time & space. I had merely to listen to her from the inside out, hear her intimations, follow them no matter how unusual they seemed, to take me where, I did not understand, but God did.

 

          God has an ‘economy,’ a ‘game plan’ if you are an Avatar sent by her. You have a mission? God knows how it will get done. You cannot listen to the world because you’re here to change the world. To listen to the world means to be in step with it – the world is not in step with God. Obviously some things you have to play along with, even Jesus & Buddha did. But their mission was counter-culture. Our culture is flawed – they came to fix it. I came to help fix a few things in Patriarchy, & I did. Who could imagine the steps?

 

 Below:   Marilyn & me, & some men & types we must deal with, some of the big shots demand sex.  And the nobody’s try.

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          Who could imagine, in 1975, that female body building would become universally accepted? That it would change the behavior & image of women forever? I explain the dynamics in ‘The Origin & Decline of Female Body Building.’ When my article came out in Esquire, six pages of female body building, it was a Universal sensation as such a thing was unheard of – a novel, strange idea, females lifting weights, in general, was taboo {proscribed by society as improper or unacceptable – synonyms are: anathema, unthinkable, disapproved, forbidden, restricted, unmentionable, frowned upon, & unacceptable} – & all the taboos where blurted into my face, why women should not lift weights: It’s not feminine, women will look like men, {they will be unattractive,} etc. Lifting weights, generally speaking, is the domain of men & there is no reason for it for women, etc.

 

My job was to present the idea to the media until it clicked. Of course I didn’t do it alone. Neither was Marilyn Monroe created by herself, there was a staff of studio people helping – all kinds of people doing all kinds of things, but Marilyn was the instrument & catalyst to produce the sexiest, most beautiful & glamorous woman of her day. Yes, I had magazine editors, photographers, TV producers, journalists & such cooperating with me, I with them. And as I explain in the book, it clicked when we got it into Playboy May, 1977. It was after that they began holding contests for muscles, not before.

 

God also knew that I would be in Washington, DC promoting the body building. This was seen by Betty Jane Allsup, who called me after watching AM Washington. I was there for body building but talked a lot about God.

 

Honeysuckle Divine

 

There’s a serious back story to Betty Jane, known in the dancing business as Honeysuckle Divine.

She was a postulant {novice nun} in a convent in Philadelphia. One night the devil appeared to her, & said,

“If you don’t leave here, I’m going to kill you.”

Terrified, she climbed out the window & went into town, seeking employment. But she could not find a job except in a bar. During that time she got involved in the adult trade.

This was far cry from her mind set – as she told me, when she was religious she said,

“If pimps & prostitutes are evil, why don’t they kill them all?”

She then found out that those in the adult trade are not there because they love sin, they are there because they need to make a living.

I had seen Honeysuckle Divine in men’s magazines & sex papers. She did a wild act where she put ping pong balls into her vagina & popped them into the audience – the laughter exploded; she would also put peanut butter on her thighs & let the men eat it off. It was the craziest burlesque act in town. She got arrested many times.

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I did not know her back story, & saw her as ‘pornographer.’ In those days I was prejudiced myself. I thought to spread one’s legs on stage was vulgar, to do anything porno might be sinful. I was so brainwashed I still thought, until the later 80’s, that homosexuality was sin. Of course I was wrong, but it took me a while to find that out. What a Church or society does to a brain from childhood remains until unless one struggles against it.

 

After the AM Washington show, this lady left me a message at my hotel. Being, as I said, prejudiced, I did not plan to call back the ‘pornographer.’ They got me out of bed early for the TV show, so I proceeded to take a nap.

During the nap my Inner God appeared to me & said,

“You call that lady!”

{Understand I had to cultivate the ability to hear the still, small voice within. I explain elsewhere that it was when I was studying hypnosis & mind over matter, I suddenly heard this Voice I never had before, as clear as a bell, & when I asked it who it was, it said, ‘I am you.’ I said, ‘you can’t be me, I’m me, so who are you?’ Again the voice repeated she was me.

This was 1971, & thereupon this Voice guided & protected me, warned me, advised me, discovered to me inner secrets of persons & psychic revelations. It would wake me up on time to catch a bus or plane by having a train whistle blow or some such thing. It would tell me where to walk this way & that, where I would find a friend whose car had just broke down, that needed me to wait by the car while he went to a gas station. It would tell me what people were thinking & feeling about me & what they planned to do, if they were friend or foe.

This Voice was temporarily blocked, sadly, part of the time I was with Rev. Judy Swaggart. She persuaded me that her spirituality was ‘higher’ than mine; that I needed to listen to her exclusively as Guru. I did as she asked & heard a creaking iron door close, & the voice said,

“I can’t help you any more.”

Eventually, it came back, when I distanced myself from Rev. Judy. I learned never to give up one’s conscience, the still, small voice, for anyone or anything, no matter what. Rev. Judy was as equally vile as she was helpful, when I left her on two occasions she put death curses on me – my Guardian Angels prevented it, but I came close to death. I believe had my Voice been in operation those times I would have avoided the situation: Both times it was black males who desired me & hoped to rape & kill me. The first occasion, the police were involved, the second, God saved me by a miracle explained in Part 3. This is the back story about my Power of the God Voice within.}

 

Back to Honeysuckle Divine – Betty Jane Allsup.

 

          I obeyed my Voice & called Betty Jane. The first words out of her were,

          ‘You are a saint, & I am your disciple.’

          She then told me she would arrange for me to preach in front of the White House. I felt it was her fantasy & a far fetched one. Not that I was against it, but I didn’t see how it would come about.

 

          This woman whom I condemned at first as ‘pornographer’ would be instrumental in the speech that would end the Cold War. I gave the speech, but she made it happen. Often God works with others; we don’t do all that we do alone, God arranges the time, place & characters in her Infinite Wisdom.

 

          Betty Jane did things I never dreamed of doing. She got permission for the speech in LafayettePark with the Parks Dept. Just recently I noticed, {Look on the Kellie Everts website for the official park permission} it was signed by two officials, one named LAMB {the Lamb of God, Jesus!}, the other being FISH {Christian symbol from ‘I will make you fishers of men!}

 

          She sent handwritten invitations to the Congress, the Russian Embassy {who answered they would consider it} & all the Washington media, TV, radio, the Washington Post & the Washington Star, etc. She covered it all – I was amazed. She was incredible with the promotion.

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What am I attempting to point out here? I have told this account again & again, not previously in such detail with the back story of Betty Jane & etc. I am trying to point out my DESTINY was arranged by God, so that I could/would do exactly as pleased her so that certain works for mankind would transpire. She alone knew all the answers, I knew little, but I obeyed, many times, not knowing what on earth was I doing? – Just obeying. And I got to this because I’ve been talking to Marilyn Monroe about her life & why it would have been unsuitable for me to be like her – a film star – my life as it’s been could not have happened.

 

I consider the greatest example of obedience to God that of Jesus Christ, going right to his Crucifixion. {Of course there are numerous saints who did as He did.} Who could have ever believed or guessed what He faced in order to establish Christianity? At the last supper He announced,

“This is my body – which will be given up for you. This is my blood, which will be shed so sins can be forgiven.”

No one – not one disciple – understood what was about to take place. In fact, when earlier on he had told all the followers they would eventually have to ‘eat his body & drink his blood,’ they were confounded &g hundreds deserted him.

Jesus did strange & unusual things in the religious world, he was a revolutionary. I am told by the mystics & saints the only one who understood him was his Holy Mother. My parallel with Our Lord is as He obeyed, no matter what, I also did.

 

For instance, I wanted to be celibate for the love of God, eventually Our Lady appeared to me & asked me to take the vow. I did. Then thirty years later God changed it, against my will. I was happy being celibate. But God said if I did not quit the celibacy, stop suffering & ‘have fun,’ I would be outside the Will of God, so I obeyed again. I became a Cougar, drank & had sex with many young men, which at first was fun.

 

I do not fully understand why God made me do what She did, maybe I never will. All I know is I obeyed & sooner or later it will be revealed. I am guessing it pertains to female empowerment, to prove a point therein. My life story will be enhanced in its message by these activities – it might warrant comment, being celibate such a long time, then turning Cougar – it’s unusual.

 

Anne Catherine Emmerich also explains that the Passion & Crucifixion of Jesus was an important event that had to be public – in order to magnify his story & establish Christianity. The devil, she says, wanted him to die in the jail cell, of his terrible scourging wounds, exhaustion, dehydration, so the Crucifixion would not take place. But it was God’s will it would take place & be documented, & God also knew She would orchestrate his getting off the Cross – passed out but alive – legs not broken, the spear did not penetrate his heart – he was revived & resurrected & after being healed, traveled back to Tibet, where in his previous lifetime he’d been a Holy Guru – & spent the rest of his life there. {See ‘Jesus in Kashmir’ on You Tube, BBC documentary.}

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This awful Passion & near death on the Cross Jesus dreaded, but He obeyed God in all things, & this was the way ‘the new Buddhism’ would get set up. It was the Theater of Salvation. Christians accept what happened as a real death – He suffered as much as if it had been real. And they aren’t taught his resurrection was physical, on the third day. The Christian leaders would be loathe to spread the BBC version – but it doesn’t bother me one iota that Jesus passed out, not died. His sacrifice was totally complete, He gave his life.

 

I am NOT comparing my work in body building or Stripping for God commensurate with Jesus’ Passion & Crucifixion, only making a point about obedience. {However, I must add that I am a Christian martyr in the footsteps of Jesus, having the Divine Interior Stigmata, which took me 18 years of ‘dark night of the soul’ to earn this grace. That IS comparable to Jesus martyrdom.}

My grace of martyrdom however, is my PERSONAL walk with God, my other activities, in the limelight, were & are my PUBLIC MINISTRY. My Stigmata martyrdom is known to me & me alone & those who believe me, it happened in privacy, in secret if you will – You already have Jesus & many saints examples to follow in that vein, it wasn’t necessary that mine be publicly known & believed {as are, for instance, the physical stigmatists like Padre Pio & St Francis}. I filled a gap to empower women, to make them stronger, to help them throw off the Yoke of Patriarchy – & that was body building & Stripping for God & whatever else I did to establish Matriarchy. I hope I am speaking clearly. {End Chapter 12}

 

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Core Tenets, Uncategorized

Marilyn Monroe & Me

Chapter 11   Marilyn Monroe, Andre de Dienes & Me

 

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          I’ve had this book in my possession for a while, never finished reading it. But a short time ago I met a fan of MM & promised to show her the book, so I looked at it again. I was basically ignoring Mr de Dienes, just said in my writings ‘He took me to CA” – but after seeing what he said about Marilyn & realizing there was a parallel between his taking her on the road & taking me – {she was with him 5 weeks, I endured 3.} I could read between the lines, he admitted being a pig {sex maniac he called it, sounds better than pervert/pig}, his mind only on sex, telling dirty stories; he says he felt rage at her having him ‘at his beck & call’ but not putting out {he was the same with me, only I will explain why he was meaner to me} – {except once in an unfortunate snowstorm where the hotel had only one room with a double bed, they had to share it & she gave in, maybe spent a second day there, mostly in the room. So he hit it twice I suppose, but it seems she never put out again, & he calls this their HONEYMOON! – Wishful thinking, fantasies & delusions gone mad.}

 

          This book is an outrage & I will set the record straight – will describe my time with him & channel {mind read} both him & Marilyn. I know Marilyn is in Heaven, he’s probably there but I think in a dim place like my Mom & bro.

        

 

          The book is ‘Marilyn Mon Amour’ & what I want to counter is the false impressions he gave of himself – I will tell what he really was like – & his image of Marilyn upon first seeing her – which he colors in hyperbole & later puts her down {“her success was a sham”.}

 

The pics he took in 1945 show a pretty girl with a nice figure, not yet groomed, not a star – the Marilyn people adore did not exist at age 19. These images did not lead her to a movie career. In the first ones her hair is unfortunate, she looks attractive, maybe cute, maybe pretty, some are beautiful.   As the years go by her look changes due to the movie studios; the makeup artists, studio hair dressers, costume designers, took her potential & made her a gorgeous glamour doll.

 

She was not ‘stunning’ at 19, just a simple lovely girl, Andre describes his first sight of her like the Heavens opened, it was a supernatural event, she was a Divine entity & he knows she’s going to be a star {while at the same time plotting how to get her to take nudes, have sex with him, & then live in matrimonial slavery, for him & him alone, having endless pictures taken…..You believe he had her best interests at heart, I’ll sell you a bridge.}

 

Let me channel him while I’m at it {channeling is mind reading}.   ME: Andre, tell me honestly what your first sighting of Marilyn meant to you.

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ANDRE: {His new name is the PIED PIPER, so hereafter I shall call him PP {like urine, haha} – Pied Piper because he does something for you, & if he doesn’t get his pound of flesh, he takes revenge. He says:

 

My first sighting of her was her innocence. She looked green, docile – no Heavens were opened, she looked like a sweet young girl, maybe 17, & my thoughts were how I could get to her, make her do what I wanted, & she seemed like a fine candidate.

 

ME:   Candidate for what?

 

PP:   Like I told you again & again {prior to this moment} – I was an ORDINARY MAN & being ordinary I lived for myself, my flesh, not my spirit. I was out to get what I wanted, which in this case was mostly sex. My mind was not on business or what I would do with these images, it was how I could get her into bed from the get go – & these were my thoughts with any innocent, young female I would go on a trip with – how I could get sex & how soon?

 

ME:   OK, understood, I suspected as much & any human in their right mind would. What about me? Were those your exact intentions? I was 16, a month from my 17th birthday, 1961. You had seen the last of Marilyn in June, 1961 – perhaps it was before you took me from New York to CA, as that was June 1961, or maybe you saw her when we got to CA, not telling me.

 

PP:   As you know, the very first night, I tried it with you & you were going to let me, but being an old man, I lost my hardon & couldn’t get it back. After that you said no, so I was pissed.

 

ME:   You rave about how beautiful, wonderful, vivacious Marilyn was. Were you exaggerating, wishful thinking because you wanted her so badly & it took a while getting there? How did I compare to her looks wise, as you did photograph me later, & you saw me nude from the get-go. And of course, throughout our sojourn, after I said no, you criticized me calling me ‘too skinny.’   Your first reaction of me was you would get me into Playboy as a Hawaiian girl {obviously you saw I was exotic, having Mongolian blood} but you never gave that idea a start.

 

PP:   Looks wise, you were as good as Marilyn, in fact, your body was better. But your personality was not docile. She gave an aura of femininity & was careful to in a way, to lead me on. She was extremely diplomatic as she knew all men want to bed young ladies – you all know – & she didn’t want to hurt my feelings, she wanted to get the work done. She wasn’t sure if she could hold me off until the end, – as it turned out – it was impossible, & she went through the ordeal & cried. Yes, now that I’m dead I admit the truth. That’s why she had tears in her eyes as I described.

 

You were tougher, stronger than Marilyn. You resisted at your peril. You found me repulsive, as she also did. By the time I got to you I was worse than I was before, & my personality toward you was vile.

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ME:   So many questions here. (1) How was my body better than hers, & after that, why did you keep saying I was ‘too skinny?’ {BTW, I did not believe you; I felt it was ‘sour grapes.’} And (2) how did I show I was tough & strong?

 

PP:   You were not docile like her, she was submissive; she would give the impression I was in charge, I was superior. She tolerated all my dirty stories, as you did, & she laughed. Maybe you didn’t laugh as much, you hated them, you didn’t hide it as well. She listened to me attentively & I was flattered, thinking she wanted to learn from me, that I impressed her, but nothing I said impressed you, you did not think much of me, & for good reason.

 

 

ME:   In your book, you give the impression that you had some sort of cultural/intellectual knowledge. I saw none of that. I was probably, at age 16, more learned & cultured than you – as I had been reading great literature since age 9 – I had listened to opera, classical music, from my Mother’s womb, I had studied ballet & adored it. I knew many operas, ballets, classical pieces, great books. I had been exposed to such things from infancy, & I also was exposed to religion & was close to God – you weren’t.

 

Your only interest in art I recall was monetary. You bragged how you got a painting {for free} out of a man named Kooning {William de Kooning I think} & how much money you could sell it for some day. Did you really believe Marilyn was trying to learn from you?

 

PP:   No, she wasn’t, but I liked to think she did. We Europeans on the average know more about culture than the average American, so I held this up over her head to try & get her to admire me. It was all delusional on my part, but it buoyed up my ego.

 

ME:   Had Marilyn my personality & resisted & rejected you for sex, what would you have done?

 

PP:   I would have ignored her after the journey, let’s say, if on that fateful day there was one room-one bed, prisoners of the snow, & she refused sex, that would have been the end. I would have known all bets were off, I would have maybe taken her back to her Aunt, & after that, ignored her.

 

ME:   And yet you claim how you loved her, you wrote her a preposterous love letter telling her love was all that mattered {this is repeated in your book} {before she gave in to sex} & you would always love her, a stupid, silly, mushy bullcrap letter – desperate man. So did you ever love her?

 

PP:   You can tell by evidence of how a person acts if they truly love or not. I was not capable of love, God’s love or a parental nurturing love, I only cared for my own penis. I wanted her, lusted after her; she was young & docile & pretty. I wanted to possess her & use her; I didn’t care what she wanted. If I had truly loved her, I would have sat down with her, after she told me she didn’t want to get married wanted to be in the movies – & produced a plan. The plan would consist of how I could help her, through my photography & contacts, to make her a star. But I didn’t care. When she said she wanted to be in the movies it seemed a long shot, I figured she wouldn’t get there. So why would I knock myself out to help when it was improbable, & if it happened, she would leave my clutches & be a star – a woman who could get anyone she wanted. What chance would I have? I was a nobody, not rich or famous, only known in the world of photography, no VIP to the Hollywood crowd. But I did have contacts, indeed, many, I could have helped her. And I could have given her cash. She told me she was having trouble making ends meet. I suggested her getting a studio apt in Santa Monica, she did. But I did not provide any money – & I did sell her images at a profit to obscure people like ANSCO {?} or magazines the Hollywood set never saw. I made money off her but didn’t share it, I was greedy & selfish. You saw what I was like, a nothing of a man; half a man.

 

ME:   And I might add the irony of it all, that you are famous only in the light of having been with her – in the Wikipedia that is the major content of your story – when you took her on trips, saw her, photographed her, the most famous glamour doll in our society. And all the while you were pretending you could help her – she helped you. You stand in her shadow, & you even had the nerve, if you said it, not your writer, that her success was a sham! You made it seems to me, most of your living off catalogs like Montgomery Ward. You photographed a number of celebrities. I imagine the studio or magazines paid you for shots. You might have been suitable for outdoor work or action images, rather than the studied theatrical portraits. I don’t think you ever did those. You could not have made your living off that – that would be icing on a cake, but the cake itself was just hard, mundane work of catalogs. And I know the American Indians did not pay you to document them. Am I getting this right?

 

          PP:   Indeed, I made money mostly off hard, mundane work like catalogs or routine stuff for magazines. The glamour was few & far between. I had to struggle to keep afloat & there were many obstacles like my house being damaged in a landslide, much of my photos destroyed, & then in a fit of depression I buried Marilyn’s nudes in my soggy back yard, tried to retrieve them later on but most were gone.

 

          ME:   I know you stated you originally told Ms Snively {Blue Book modeling agency – I spoke with her when I was about 17 – she also told me she ‘got Marilyn Monroe started’ – haha to that} you sought someone willing to take nudes, you were scheming to introduce that idea to Marilyn but got thwarted some times – but you told me in person that you did have nudes, & she came to your door one day & pleaded for you to destroy them as she just had a scandal with Tom Kelly’s images of her in Playboy. You said you buried them because of that. So where are the nudes? I’ve not seen any anywhere.

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          PP:   If there had been any nudes I’m sure you would have seen them somewhere, sometimes. I mean nudes of Marilyn Monroe would be priceless. In my book I say I dug them up, & I told you in person I did. But they were ruined. If they were even half ruined, someone could have published them, but they were completely ruined – to the point you could not recognize the subject was Marilyn.

 

          ME:   OK, some last questions. You said my body was better than hers – how was that?

 

          PP:   Your skeleton & the way your limbs were shaped & your fitness. Marilyn was soft compared to you, & less shapely. You had better legs, arms & shoulders. Her greatest feature was the sway of her back & how it curved into her rear end. You had that & more.

 

          Why did I keep calling you skinny & disparaging you? Because I was angry. I told you how I got angry at Marilyn when she had not put out – I was not a good sport, just an ordinary man who wanted revenge when he didn’t get his needs met.

 

          ME:   And when you left me on the street with the modeling fee you paid me – nothing more – $60, knowing I had no friends, relatives or contacts, that was the act of a man without conscience. Anything could have happened; I could have been rendered homeless in a short time. I doubt you would have done that to Marilyn had she not acquiesced to your demands. Was it because of Ms Snively & her Aunt that you’d be afraid to do that to her? Whereas I arrived to your ChelseaHotel at 6am in the morning – you did not get me through an agency nor did you have to meet my Dad to get permission. Is that why you were so gross in your treatment of me, as you cold not be held accountable?

 

          PP:   Indeed, with Marilyn Ms Snively could have black listed me had I done that to her, so I couldn’t get models to work for me. And Marilyn’s aunt could have called the police had I mistreated her, but with you, there was no accountability. That’s why it’s so dangerous to be young & at the mercy of men like me – we don’t care.

 

Andre Writes Some Bull Crap

 

 

          I am convinced he did not write the book – its way beyond his literary skill. He most likely gave an extended interview to a professional writer, the writer waxed profusely on the romantic angle. The description of their time of having sex is ludicrous; imagine this man, for whom English is a second language he never mastered, writing this:

 

          “The snow was falling thick & fast, the road was becoming impassable. I made out some lights shining from an old brick building which rejoiced in the grand name of Government Lodge. We were in luck, there was one room free. Only one. With a double bed. There was nowhere else to go….

 

          As soon as she showered she slipped quickly into the big bed, where I joined her. It seemed the most natural thing in the world. The night was ours.

 

          In my dreams I had explored her body; reality far surpassed my imagination. Everything she felt for me, trust, gratitude, even admiration, was fused in her surrender…..{Me: OMG are you kidding? Deluded.}….Why had we waited, hesitated, denied ourselves so long? {Me: She denied you as she didn’t want you.} Our bodies were made for each other…..I could not get enough of the silky skin, of her supple body both docile & demanding, of our shared, repeated pleasure, and suddenly, as my cheek brushed hers I realized she was crying. {Me: Hahaha, of course she was, to endure this atrocity from you, a veritable rape.}…..

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          Heaven was on our side: as we surfaced from the deep slumber that follows love-making, I saw that thick snowflakes were falling fast….We were prisoners. We spent the whole day in our room, only emerging during a bright spell to take some photos….Those blissful moments were mine alone. To let others share them would be a desecration.” {Me: Then why are you telling the world?}

 

          This man continues fooling himself for years, that she wanted him, had feelings for him, forgetting that the only reason she got into bed with him is they were prisoners due to a snowstorm & this was the only room & bed available.

 

          What Andre told me about this encounter was that she was turned on by him more than by other men because HE GAVE HER HEAD. {Licked her vagina.} I can just imagine how he did it, maybe a few seconds, they all think we get off on those 5 second licks – & yet they should consider how long it takes the poor females to suck their dicks before they come.

 

          When I spent my first night with Andre de Dienes in a motel, I had not yet had much sex – I was 16 – {he was 48} I was willing to give in because I feared if I didn’t, he’d drive me back to New York – we weren’t terribly far away yet. But unfortunately, being an old man, he lost his hardon & couldn’t get it back. And the next day when he demanded sex, I refused, & refused until he gave up. But of course, he made me pay for denying him.

 

          Now I will channel Marilyn Monroe. ME:   Marilyn, did you ever have any feelings for this man, or attraction for him, or as he said in his book, even admired him? He says you wanted to learn from him.

 

          MM:   It was the opposite of all that. First of all, I endured him. He was obnoxious, but I was patient, stoic & endured a lot. My ambition was strong, I really wanted to make it, & if this sort of thing was the price to pay, then I’ll pay it.

 

          ME:   But you held him off for a long time. He’s belly aching through the book, his schemes to get you into bed, to pose nude. Once he’s booking the rooms & asks you two rooms or one? And you politely excuse yourself due to exhaustion; you must get a good night’s sleep. You were smart with excuses, you probably had your feminine ways, as he says, but you overall seemed docile & submissive.

 

          MM:   I topped from the bottom. I gave the impression of being docile, submissive, which was to a point. I can only compare this to your life, when you got together with nasty people to get something out of them, how you endured. You wanted to learn mind over matter & hypnosis, so you put up with that Putz NutOn for a couple years, then when you couldn’t stand it any more, you left. Then you endured Rev Judy Swaggart as you wanted to learn faith healing & how to channel, she was horrible, you took all you could for six years. She used you, but you got what you wanted. Because of her, today you can channel anyone – she got you started, you worked on it, vuallah.

 

          ME: OK, so we & perhaps many people are doing the exact same thing, to get someone to do what we want, we put up with a lot of shyt. But this man tries to tell us that you loved him as he loved you. I think you only had sex with him during that snowstorm, & I suspect you might have done it again to get him to destroy all the nudes he took.

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          MM:   No, I never loved him, he repulsed me as a man. I couldn’t stand him, his personality or his demands, just exactly as you felt. I believe you got it right about the sex. It was almost non existent, but he just kept hanging on.

 

          ME:   In the books Taschen made of his images of you they said, ‘he helped launch her model career &, a few years later, a film career that was to make her a legend.’ Did he help you & how?

 

          MM:   Absolutely not. I guarantee he did nothing for my film career – absolutely nothing. He could have, but he didn’t want to. All he wanted was to tie me down as his wife, have sex with me & take pics of me for his own portfolio – he was not about me, he was about him & his desires.

 

          ME:   OK, but he hung around you until a year before your death, even though he was married twice during that time. I noticed on your Wikipedia page, he is not mentioned, dozens of people are. Like Johnny Hyde, Vice President of William Morris, who was your agent, you his mistress. So Andre’s claims are empty. Describe what exactly he was, what he was not.

 

          MM:   He was a hanger on, hoping some day I’d have sex with him again, but I never did. He explains one time where I came to him asking to take pictures, of a different sort as I usually wanted, of myself as a real person, but he begged busy-ness. Then he relented, saying he realized I needed him. And then after saying that, he goes back to the nonsense like so:

 

          “Had she come running to me hoping I would take her in my arms? Why had I been unable to understand? I should have swept all those papers off my table, kindled a blazing fire, uncorked a bottle of good wine & proceeded to love her, just lover her as if nothing else mattered & make her forget everything else.”

 

          This was so ridiculous; his mind could not function in any area but sex. He could not nurture me, meet me at my level of need, it all went back to he’d have sex with me & make me forget my troubles. His type is part of the reason I was depressed, anxious & miserable, because they saw me as sex, sex, & sex. They didn’t listen to me or serve my needs; it was always their penis, penis, & penis.

 

And I had no proper parenting, I had Attachment Disorder. Mom was mentally ill; Dad abandoned me, so I was an orphan. Yes, some of my foster parents were wonderful people, but it wasn’t the same, it wasn’t an absolute bond, I lived in many places with many people as a child, up until 16 when I married a man I hardly knew to gain independence.

 

ME:   So why did you allow Andre to remain in your life, why didn’t you tell him to take a hike?

 

MM:   You’ve known dozens of men like him. You keep them as ‘spare tires,’ in case something comes up, you need a friend, you need this or that, & they might be available. Yes he was annoying when he tried to kiss me, I found him repulsive, just like that man who tried to kiss you when you were celibate but were thinking of going back to sex, he drove hours to see you so he could be first in line. But you decided to remain celibate. And when he found that out, he left your house even though it was 1AM.

 

ME:   But you had sex with many important men who were also repulsive – Wikipedia names Joseph M. Schenck & Johnny Hyde.

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MM:   When a man is important & does serious things for you, you can overlook his appearance.

 

ME:   About myself. You kept telling me at one time, ‘Be a movie star, it’s easy.’ I was in show biz like you, but my life took different turns. Could I have been like you or Jayne Mansfield or some other star? Would I have had what it takes?

 

MM:   We spoke about this before. Indeed, you could have been one of the movie stars, but the roles you took on in life were better than that. You established female body building for the empowerment of women. It changed their image & behavior forever. You Stripped for God & danced to save souls, no woman in history ever did that. You preached in front of the White House through this – it got 3 major leaders into office & stopped the threat of nuclear annihilation. What does being a movie star, compare to that? You chose the better parts. Look what being a movie star got me.

 

ME:   So I did not miss anything by leaving Hollywood on my own road, doing what I did.

 

MM:   You not only missed nothing, you dodged some bullets. For you the things I did, having sex with important men would have been impossible. You were, in fact, solicited by one of the chiefs of William Morris for sex – you said no. You would have said no to many of these men & incurred their wrath, one of them might have paid someone to hurt you – especially if you took that starring role in Las Vegas.

 

ME:   You’re right, I had a foreboding about that. It seems that in my life, the forces of Hell have been unleashed against me, but I won. My Guardian Angels protected me. There were so man instances where men wanted to murder me, even women, I explained some of it in Part 3.

 

MM:   Your life is extremely valuable to the work of God. You volunteered to come back to earth, even after having secured an eternal place in Heaven. You know about this, I am seeing it & saying it. You arrived on earth as an Avatar. Yes, the forces of Hell have been unleashed, & you need protection, so you have 3 powerful angels. You will be remembered long after you are dead, & not only for your appearance.

 

ME:   There isn’t much time left for me on earth, do you see this movie being a success? Will I live to see it? Will I live for this gas & oil on my land being drilled?

 

MM:   Yes to both. And you will also obtain the companionship of your young husband.

 

ME:   What do you see for this life story movie?

 

MM:   It will be extremely successful, winning Academy Awards for the movie & the star. You will gain great notoriety & lots of money, it’ll be a new lease on life for you, as you have grown tired & disappointed, like I was at the end, then you will be revived. And yes, they will begin the gas & oil process while you’re alive.

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          ME:   Why did you kill yourself, on purpose or an accident?

 

          MM:   I didn’t care any more if I lived or died. I took some pills, then got groggy, forgot how many I took & took some more. I had the worst insomnia imaginable, worse than what you suffer. I had fear, that is what it was, a sense of doom over me. And it was all because I had no love, no parental love, no God’s love, no kind of love. I was just being hounded by men’s lust & women’s jealousy – I had no friends I could count on that were the real deal – they all wanted something out of me, my body, my fame or fortune. I did not have the inner life you have, the walk with God, I was all alone in my body.

 

          ME:   You know I’ve been to hell & back, why did you not survive but I have?

 

          MM:   Because you have the Weapons of Spiritual Warfare – I didn’t, or at least, not strong like yours. You’re strong, I was weak. You were sent from Heaven as a volunteer, you’re like Jesus. You came to help others, you were an evolved soul in a previous lifetime, & in this life, were armed with great Gifts of the Holy Spirit. I was an ordinary girl & I could not overcome the trials & tribulations I came across. It was my time to go.

 

          I had achieved what few women could ever dream of, I became the number one gorgeous movie star in the world, the absolute pinnacle of success. What more was there to prove? It would have been downhill after that, not that that’s bad, I mean it’s normal to grow old. But I had done what I did & could not overcome my internal phobias, I was haunted. Had I kept living my life would have been miserable, I could not find happiness. I could not get healing.

 

          I know what you’re thinking – why could I not find God? Not everyone can, I could not. It wasn’t meant to be. But I lived a successful life & my legacy will live on for millions to continue gazing at my images & movies, & they will be entertained & made happy so it was a good life although I suffered.

 

          If a woman or man like you helped me, I could have made it. But I had no such person.

 

          You made it because of a powerful Faith, Hope, Trust & Confidence in God, as well as many virtues & gifts. You are armed so the forces of Hell cannot defeat you, though they have tried hard. Don’t give up believing now, your future isn’t terribly long but it’s very bright. Your name will be in lights again, you’ll be so happy; your enemies will run in fright, they will be chastised.

 

          ME:   Wow, what a testament. Thank you Marilyn, rest in peace. We might speak again another day. {End channeling, end Chapter 11}

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Core Tenets, Uncategorized

CHARACTERS IN MY LIFE

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Chapter 10 – The Names I Gave Characters in My Life

–  Early Life

 

 

                     Here are the theatrical names I gave the significant people in my life & why:

 

MEDUSA:   Is Mom, in fact, she gave this name to herself {as I channeled} to personify her bad traits, each snake coming out of her head is a vice, such as: Serial abortionist {7}, liar, deceiver, traitor, abuser, animal abuser, psychopath…… Wikipedia: “one of the three monstrous Gorgons, generally described as winged human females with living venomous snakes in place of hair. Those who gazed into her eyes would turn to stone.”

 

DON QUIXOTE &/or SIR LANCELOT:   Is Dad. First, because he pursued an impossible dream of happiness with Mom – she didn’t love him after the first year, but he wouldn’t leave her. Second, he was a great ‘Knight’ like Sir Lancelot, but he was flawed, not a perfect Saint.   Wikipedia:   “Just as Shakespeare wrote in no genre, Don Quixote is tragedy as well as comedy.”…..

 

SANCHO PANZA:   Marius Bernotas, the new lover / live in boy friend of Mom, who lived with us for maybe two years, then Dad got us a farm, where we lived with Marius – Dad was supposed to join us but never did. Dad was living in a dream created by Mom – that they were still a couple, she was not having sex with Marius, & this was perpetrated by her probably to retain support. This dream died after a year when she told him she couldn’t stand him any more. Mom told Dad that her latest child was his, while she told Marius the same thing – each man believed it & tug-of-wars ensued with shouting matches of ‘Give me my child!’

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          I named Marius Sancho Panza as he followed Dad in the dream that could never be; he was led by foolish notions & got fooled. I was with Dad when he went to Marius to offer room & board with us for $6 a week {in 1951 or “52.} Marius didn’t know what he was getting into. Mom had first an affair with our young priest but tired of him, then she picked on Marius, the Church organist. Marius was handsome I thought, but emotionally excitable. I liked him, as I liked most people. I did not then even imagine Mom having an affair with him—I didn’t know what sex was, being 6. Sancho Panza, by following Don Quixote, thought he would achieve something, but there was no success, Marius suffered, had a nervous meltdown of sorts when he chased Mephisto {explained below} down the street with a knife, then got thrown out of our house into a tiny room behind the garage, where he played the piano reverberating through the night. He was never allowed in the house again, eventually leaving us. Last time I saw him I was maybe 10 years old, bumped into him on the street in Freehold, he had no teeth, seemed desperate for some sort of contact / connection / love, but it wasn’t to be. All that hard work! He worked his fingers to the bone on the ‘homestead,’ & after a while, we couldn’t make it, he held down two jobs, all for naught.

 

 

MEPHISTOPHELES:   A young woman fifteen years my senior – they adopted her from Lithuania, a distant relative, as she lost her parents to the war. She became the best friend of Mom, Medusa Jr. of sorts, brainwashed by her as was my brother. She was a bully, mostly a good person but sided with Mom in demoralizing me. She did good things but believed in Mom’s version of reality in exchange for what? Number 2 position in Mom’s Mafia, Godmother 1 & 2. Forty two years after Mom’s death, she still maintains that Mom & bro, the two abusers, were good guys. So of course the abuse I got was warranted, except, she claims, there was no abuse, I am a liar & deluded.

 

          Why Mephistopheles? In the story of Faust, Mephistopheles was not Satan but worked for him – he collected the doomed souls. And so, this person was not the original leader but influenced & controlled the weaklings & sheep, all of whom knew ‘what side their bread was buttered on.’ After Mom’s death ‘Mempho’ {for short}, maintained the party line. It was politically correct to go against Rasa & you were doomed if you were for her. None of them wanted to be ‘outside’ the family graces, so they obeyed.

 

 

PAUL BUNYAN:   My Uncle Henry, who I adored along with Aunt Dagmar, his wife. He was a jolly, fun-loving, life of the party guy, handsome, charming, masculine, up to a lot of hard work or even a good fight if warranted. He played the accordion at all our festivities, he joked, he was physically strong, worked like a horse, besides a full-time job, built a second floor onto their house as well as a two-car garage & beautiful stone walls around their driveway. He was admirable in many ways. His one flaw is he helped thwart my relationship with a handsome young, wealthy boy named Danny Grant – he was jealous. Then after a falling out with my Aunt over this episode, he took me on a ‘ride’ & was planning to rape me, but my guardian angels stopped him.

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          He’s Paul Bunyan because of masculine qualities.

 

          I might add that he hated my Mom because Mom tried to break him up with Aunt Dagmar when they were courting. He knew, like my Dad did, that I was being abused by Mom but did nothing about it. No one wanted to ‘get into trouble’ for standing up for me.

 

 

UGLY STEPMOTHER from Cinderella:   My Aunt Dagmar who turned ugly on me when I turned teenager. Her hatred of me came from Mom, a victim of brainwash. She also hated sex – anyone that had sex outside of marriage was evil {except Mom} – & being in the adult trade, showing one’s body nude or dancing nude on stage – was a major sin. God would not have anything to do with such people. She also was prejudiced against just about everyone, minorities, blacks, Puerto Ricans, people who dreamed dreams or had mystical qualities or visions were crazy. I had first known her with great love & was really sad to see her turn against me. She did not speak to me for 23 years because of Mom. I broke the ice when my husband died, called her, she was by now ready to bury the hatchet. She said she didn’t know I was being abused. Did she ever ask? No, they all listened to my Mom, took her side as the truth without ever questioning me – Only Uncle Henry & Dad knew she was lying, but neither one of them ever asked me anything. They knew if they knew the details they might have to do something, & God forbid they’d get into trouble for helping me, so better not ask.

 

          Mom used her for money the way she often did to people. I was there when Bro Jimmy had spent 3 weeks in the hospital with pneumonia. Mom asked Dagmar to pick him up. But they would not release him unless his bill was paid. It was 16k – in 1960 that would be $145,510.81 & DAGMAR WROTE A CHECK FOR IT! She seemed shocked but didn’t know what to do – what a sucker she was.

 

          Later Mom wanted to buy my brother a business & there was a lady in her employ at the Reader’s Digest who liked him. She conned her into borrowing 10k from her – which in 1963 today is worth $87,972. She never paid her back. But Dagmar did repay her from Mom’s estate I was told. {From 1963 to 1979 that money could have made her money in the stock market or at least interest – but I’m sure all she got back was the original 10k, if what I’m told is true, that Aunt Dagmar paid her.}

 

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RIGOLETTO:   Was my evil brother, who was never a brother to me but an enemy. He was a weakling, a loser, his whole life amounted to Mr. Ordinary, & that, only because he was given a business & a wife, had he not been spoiled & supported by Mom & Mephisto, it would have been worse. So being propped up, he made it through. But he started life in High School with a flash. Captain of the football team, President of his class, salutatorian because he was President, he was popular & a big snob who pretended he didn’t know me when passing in the hall. He spent that year we were in H.S. together bringing Mom inflated & twisted stories about me, which she conveyed to Dad to show his love on me was wasted.

 

          Our years together were a mixed bag. We played all the games – volleyball, baseball, horseshoe, croquet, bows & arrows {which we made ourselves}, all kinds board games, wrestling in the wheat field. He was the partner that helped hone my physical skills.

 

          But he also had no heart. At age 10 he got a stick & they gave him a pocket knife. He got a bright idea: Whittle that stick into a spear with a 5” head, con Rasa to run with it spear up, pointed at her crotch, the cobblestones will stop her at some point, the spear will impale her by her vagina – what fun. My being only 7, I fell into his trap, wanting to prove I could run & not hit a cobblestone, I did as he suggested. Boom, of course I was eventually stopped, but the dear Lord diverted that spear from my crotch to my left thigh, making a flesh wound that was halfway or more through my leg. Mom did not take me to the doc for fear bro would get into trouble, she poured a bottle of iodine on it & put me to bed – it took weeks to heal, not being sewn up, the biggest scab anyone ever saw. I was at a pool with the scab & dozens of kids came by to see it, it was so enormous. I didn’t go into the water because of it, of course, just sat there.

 

          He did many other cruel things, explained in Part 2 of my life. He is Rigoletto because he was a cruel jester {in an opera by Verdi}. He wanted to take revenge on someone but it backfired on him. My brother wanted to hurt me, & did hurt me, but God protected me; Whereas my bro was accident prone, lost a finger in his teens, then an eye – half his face collapsed from that – was that his karma for evil? He was voted ‘Most likely to succeed’ in school – what a joke.

 

Because of family he graduated college – he did not work his way through, he was given room & board & whatever by them, but he could not get a job with his degree, applying for ‘editor’ type work. He tried to sell Kirby vacuum cleaners but never sold ONE. He opened up a landscape / lawn biz, but that failed. Not until Mom bought him a floristry business did he do ok for a while, but it never flourished, just coasted through.

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He also could not get himself a wife. When he took females out he never spoke – the strong, silent type – haha, or is it the weak, dumb type? I know this for sure as you could not carry on an intelligent conversation with him & he never spoke when he drove me some place, {usually Church every Sunday, he was one of those fakes who goes to Church out of habit} he would obsessively turn the radio dial back & forth, back & forth, tires squealing as he went around curves & trying to hit any rabbit that might cross the road. In the 90’s I found the numbers of my old school chums– 6 or 7 of them. Two of the females, who were the most beautiful girls in my class – Barbara & Sally {will not give last names to retain their privacy} said they dated him! That turned my stomach, to imagine him groping them. They both said it was spooky as he never said a word! {It seems appropriate to add here that there were several attractive, interesting males in his class, but did he fix me up with them? Indeed, he did the opposite, pretended he didn’t even know me, shunned me when we met in school!}

 

Here comes Mom to save the day. There was a wonderful, beautiful female working under her employ at the Reader’s Digest, a secretary, bro’s age. She fixed them up, they got married & had three lovely children. If it wasn’t for Mom, Mephisto, & this good wife, would have become of him? Probably a bum / alcoholic on skid row or the like – he went to AA to get their ‘cure’.

 

PS   He did get to Heaven where he’s eternally next to Mom or in the ‘same space’. I saw that from ages ago – her waiting for him – he was the only person she ever loved. And God showed them where I was – in a bright light in the lap of Pope Pius XII representing Our Lord. We were in a theater, I on the stage with the Holy Father, they in the balcony in a DIM LIGHT. God wanted me to see where they were in Heaven, & wanted them to see who it was they abused. So they saw.

 

Later Mom appeared in a dream offering something that I think represented love, it was a garment over the body like a sweater, a gift for me. And bro showed me a green salad, to say, ‘Look at my victory; I made it,’ rejoice with me.’ OK, I’m glad you guys made it.

 

Then after that he appeared to me twice. The first time I only heard his voice & he said, ‘Help my children.’ I thought he meant with money, so I declined, after all, they weren’t even friendly to me. I hold no hard feelings, I told him, but I don’t care to give your kids money. {Sure, if they were kind to me, kept in touch, greeted me for Christmas & Holidays at least, I’d splurge on them – but they don’t. All the youth of our family treat me, one of my friends said, ‘Like you don’t exist.’ And some of them I was sending big bucks to, then I stopped, as they didn’t even say ‘thanks’ – I had to ask them, ‘Did you get the check for 6k?’ & they’d make excuses to say why they were too busy to let me know or say Merry Christmas – too busy to send an e mail! – So no kindness, no money for you.}

 

But then he appeared again while we were in a prayer group, & asked again ‘Help my children,’ & then I knew he meant spiritually. So of course I am sending them Spiritual Grace, whether they accept it or not is up to them. There are more details on him in Book 2, where I channel him, it’s eye opening. Case closed.

 

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OTHELLO:   My first husband, an evil man, he’s Othello because he tried to strangle me TWICE, my Guardian Angels saved me. The second time I grabbed the baby & ran, got the super of the building to go back in with me while I collected my things, took a cab to a motel in far off Hollywood, & got a job working as a model {you will see the images of me age 20 in these books—in a sense, lucky that I left him at that time & had to work that way, as images are forever – & they voted me ‘one of the most beautiful women of the ages’ in St. Martin’s Press because of it.} I went back to care take him because he got a third bout of cancer. For my reward he – just before dying – cancelled his life insurance, leaving the baby & me penniless. I mean with less than 5 bucks to my name. {He was revengeful for what I did not do – I’d been raped & impregnated by Mr. Southern California, Bill McCardle, on a modeling job – he wanted to believe it was consensual. So I got punished again & again, getting raped, getting pregnant by it, then the life insurance cancelled because of it.}

 

          He spent 55 years in Purgatory paying for his sins. He ascended the day I told God I wouldn’t mind seeing him again. I had been seeing him in Purgatory for 36 years but the visions were unpleasant, he still harbored hate toward me {the last straw was when God told him I married a second time, & my good husband left me a huge sum of money – & this made him not glad but ANGRY} – So I said to God not to show him to me again. But years later I rescinded that; 55 years gone by, my charity caused his ascension. There’s more on this creature in Part 2 of my life including channeling – greatly revealing, amazingly, he informed me he was TWICE AS BAD AS MY MOM – look how long I spent in Purgatory, twice her time. I agreed but what a stretch, like saying ‘I was twice as bad as Hitler.’

 

 

SAINT ESQUIRE:   A best friend, attorney, who did marvelous things for me, treated me like a Queen, made me a birthday cake one year {to make up for the one Mom refused to accept, that my gf baked!}, carried my luggage up six flights of stairs when I returned from a job. He took me out every weekend for months – {I was celibate, platonic.} We used to meet at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel {had drinks, once ate at their ‘Bull & Bear’ restaurant}, usually went elsewhere for dinner, went to shows, theater, all the things New York has to offer. He was a total gentleman & restored my self esteem as a woman. This made up for so many pains & put downs from family & other creeps. He remained my best friend for ten years; he helped me build my lucrative business. I will speak more of him elsewhere.

 

 

THE GENTLE GIANT:   This was my second & sainted husband, Richard Von Werder. He & St. Esquire made up in a huge way, the many transgressions done to me. He treated me like royalty, he helped me so much I can’t even count the ways, & when sadly, he died, in my house, of a heart attack, he provided for me for the rest of my life. Through him God compensated me for much suffering – Will be more on him elsewhere.

 

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MY ‘FRED ASTAIRE’:   Not the real Fred Astaire – {I saw the real one once in Beverly Hills, I was leaving a bank with a long, wide set of polished cement stairs – he bounded up sprightly, just like his movies, I stared.} This is a friend who reminds me of Fred. Fred could & would do anything – sing, act & dance, & my friend Jack also did anything for me, & was voted ‘The Best Slave of the Year’ by Hustler Erotic Video. He was also charming, sweet, affable, with a terrific sense of humor, & while he was with me, made my life 10 times easier. I shall never forget the time he spent 3 months with me in the summer. He cleaned my house, including the windows, then he acted in my videos where he did anything called for, no matter how strange, like pretending to let a female put out a lighted cigarette in his mouth {we put water in his mouth ahead of time.} He helped me with production of the videos – Then the ‘piece de resistance.’ I had been trying to move out of Brooklyn with dozens of car treks as well as a van & a truck. We had made a dozen trips, my male friends & I. But still, the furniture was there. I was so exhausted from all this I couldn’t take it any more. I told Jack ‘You have to do something for me, & I really need this favor, it’s serious.’ He awaited my command. ‘You have to get me out of B’klyn, all the furniture & appliances.’ What did he say? It was yes, & he got me out of B’klyn, finally! This man could & would do anything for me – one in a million! He’s alive & well working with baseball players in Florida, the greatest of men.

 

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