College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

MATRIARCHY OUR ONLY HOPE

from AJAX the GREAT with comments by Rasa Von Werder

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Saturday, December 5, 2020

 

Female Empowerment Is Still Our Only Hope

Just a reminder to everyone that despite current events, or rather a fortiori because of current events, we need Female Empowerment more than ever before. While a full-blown Matriarchy is still a while away and we seem to be heading into a new dark age of totalitarian technocracy (i.e. the so-called “Great Reset”), Women must never give up and let their hard-won progress thus far be eroded any further. After all, all oligarchies, plutocracies, kleptocracies, and technocracies (or all of the above) are patriarchal at their core. As a man I obviously don’t have nearly all of the answers, nor do I claim to truly know the details of how to do it, but what I do know in my heart of hearts is that only Women collectively can truly halt and reverse for good the utterly dark and dystopian future to which we are otherwise headed, Goddess willing.

Now is NOT the time to sit on one’s laurels, give up hope, or make the perfect the enemy of the good in any way. Nor is it the time to take advice from fools, charlatans, mouthpieces of the oligarchy/technocracy/ patriarchy, or an even worse category: the vile and demonic Phyllis Schlafly types who masquerade as feminists (or even as self-proclaimed Radical Feminists) but are really patriarchal to the core or otherwise throw other Women under the bus for their own worldly gains, often disguised as concern-trolling. A good litmus test for that latter category is how they react to the works of the author Mark Regnerus, as anyone who agrees with his poisonous words are not really feminists and do not support genuine Female Empowerment. Which by the way, is both individual AND collective empowerment, NOT an either/or.

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Bottom line, Women need to get into as many positions of power as possible, in as many places at as many levels as possible, as quickly as possible. Time is running out.

So go forth and make old Buckminster Fuller proud!

(See also a previous article here as well for a more detailed discussion on the ultimate kill switch to smash the patriarchy.)

 

RASA SAYS: “Can Female Power Save the Planet”? It is the ONLY HOPE.

 

When women ruled & Mother God was worshiped, there were no wars or weapons of war.  See the studies of Marija Gimbutas, anthropologist.

When men overpowered the planet starting 7K years ago, there began the Age of Kali, an era of evil which is mercifully short lived, so say the sages.

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There is NO SYSTEM that male has ever devised that is the proper answer for our society. Every system they create, as outlined previously by Ajax, is corrupt. Even the great religions, such as those started by Jesus or other Saints & Prophets, become corrupt once males get hold of them.  See the writings of the great William Bond.

What is wrong with Patriarchy? It is male nature at its core. Males want to FIGHT – they want power & authority, to build harems.  See the work of Dr. Bryan Sykes, “Adam’s Curse, a Future Without Men.”  They cannot think outside the box, this is the box they are in & will forever stay.

The nature of women is to take care of people, they have compassion & mercy. Their nature will never change, they will always be care givers.

And so, depending on who is ruling, we either have violent, greedy bastards or caring, compassionate women, choose your pick, it is one or the other, Patriarchy or Matriarchy. Patriarchs cannot, will not ever devise or run a legit system, that is impossible given their nature, & women can never do any thing but care for others, Matriarchy.

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What do we do now that Patriarchs are ready to strike harder than any government has ever done? We can pray. We can keep our faith, hope & trust in Mother God & we can work for her doctrine. One of the things no one is doing but me – promote the facts about male extinction. That will wake people up. Why listen to men that are going extinct? Why does Mother God want to remove them?

Rasa Von Werder 12-5-2020

 

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College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

REVELATIONS

REVELATIONS

 

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12-5-20-Heavenly dreams -

(2)  Dream explains my Lover Bob’s relationship with his wife / drug partner

Ruthie will end soon because she will no longer be able to support him.  

 Her drug habit is eating up her money now – none left for him.

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First, I was ‘bombarded’ with dreams of a Heavenly place – I say bombarded because they appeared fast & furious & went on for a long time. They might have been a result of prayers of forgiveness toward everyone who ever hurt me.

I was in a world of vast prairies, plains, woods, jungles, where all was beautiful, alive & fruitful. The trees were filled with millions of fruits, food everywhere, beauty all over but can remember few details. Sense-image material might have been the documentary ‘Wild Indonesia’ I saw last night – but I watch wild documentaries all the time & don’t get such results.

‘Sense image material’ is when your mind takes ‘sense images’ or images, experiences that you recently had, & USES them to make a point. It does NOT mean you are dreaming about the subject being used – the subject is only a SYMBOL. And so, the sense image was ‘Wild Indonesia’ but with this sort of image God was showing me what Heaven is like – to some degree, in my prayers, I ENTERED HEAVEN. This shows the POWER OF FORGIVENESS.

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When we feel negative thoughts & emotions, we put ourselves into Purgatories & Hells. When we transform the negative into positive, we enter states of Heaven. Like Buddha said, when we hate someone, it is like thinking they will die of a poison we drank. Hate & various nuances of it – bitterness, resentment, revenge, regret, sorrow over it, feeling sorry for ourselves, etc., are all POISONS we consume into our being. What is the remedy that I employed? And the fact that the prayers WORKED says I did it right – I say such prayers many times but don’t always get big results.

It went like this: ‘Anyone or everyone who ever hurt me, God, count it as if they did nothing, nothing to be punished for, as I do not hold a grudge or say they sinned. I want NO REVENGE.’ I mentioned some of those who hurt me the most.
‘I have no resentment, bitterness, sorrow or regret over what they did to me. I accept it, I am not sorry they did it, I simply say it’s part of life. I make no opinion on it any way, I say it’s how it was, I say if God allowed it, God will do something positive with it – it’s God’s business, not mine.’

This disclaimer on my part removed the negative emotions from my life & freed me up for the Heavenly experience – thank you dear God.

 

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2nd Dream: Girl Wants Vacuum Cleaner – I Help Her but Discover She Took off for Drugs

I am going up the six flights of stairs to my apt in B’klyn, with a young lady who is in her early 20′s. On one of the landings someone has put a nice looking vacuum cleaner ‘for sale.’ It’s partly black, the handle, & the body of it is some sort of orange or red – they made it cheap but this girl HAS NOTHING & needs help. I might add SHE HAS AN INFANT which is some place nearby.

*(YOUNG LADY: By the end of this dream I will figure out this is Ruthie, the common-law wife of my Lover Bob. This dream explains something to me, about her being DESTITUTE.
VACUUM CLEANER: Represents some sort of home convenience, not sure what. It could say ‘I need help with cleaning house.’ This house cleaning might not be literal, it could be cleaning up the SITUATION at home – things are BAD with her & Bob, with their FINANCIAL SITUATION.)*

The neighbor who placed this here watches me as I TEST the vacuum cleaner – it works fine. I do some areas in their apt, it’s great.

I try to negotiate with the owner for the item real cheap – $10, explaining the girl is destitute, with a small child, etc. But they say that’s not possible, but they’ll part with it for $20. I give the girl the $20 to buy it.

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Now this will not be LOGICAL. I don’t know why – but sometimes dreams are not logical but they still make their point.

In an illogical activity I look into my ‘dollar store’ bag, which is not a purse, just a cheap but nice bad – & realize I have NO MONEY IN MY BAG – it’s in my purse upstairs in my apt. This slightly embarrasses me as I think the couple might think I’m a deadbeat, but we are a short walk up my sixth floor. I ask the man of the house, please walk with me to my apt, I will get the $20. from my purse for you.

(*MAN OF THE HOUSE: I suspect this is my lover Bob because of the appearance of my Dad when I go to my apt – Dad is the one to give me away to this future husband, Dad’s presence is usually matrimonial business predicted.)*

And so we go up. I put my key in the hole, before it opens my Dad opens the door for me. He knew it was me. The fact that my Dad is here gives me a good sense of security & love.

When he sees the man to my right he is STARTLED – {the older man has a head like a chipmunk} & I introduce him to Dad as something like ‘Mr. Schultz or Diaz’ – not sure what, I was uncertain of his name, but the man adds,

‘Just Alan’ will do, & I’m not sure if that was the name he said, either. I thought he was Spanish, but again, not sure.

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*(JUST ALAN: I could not recall either name, first or last, but Alan came to my mind now – this might give it away as my good husband’s middle name was Alan. That would be saying, then,

“Lover Bob now appears as your good husband….& so this dream concerns his situation with Ruthie ending, his situation with you must begin. This could explain why.”

DAD is STARTLED: Sometimes Dad’s get bent out of shape when a new man takes away his daughter. My Dad used to get upset {in our apt. in B’klyn, pictured here} when any guy walked me home or visited me – he always had something negative to say. I think this is their lack of ability to let their daughter go.

OPEN THE DOOR, KNEW IT WAS ME: In putting in ‘the key’ I am trying to COMMUNICATE with my Dad – asking him to reveal something to me. His opening the door, knowing it’s me, is he will answer my request, he will reveal to me how Bob breaks off from Ruth & comes to me.)*

I then go to my things to get the money for the man & I suppose I do so. The thing is, the man sees my apt, it is nice but slightly cluttered, there’s a lot of beige on the walls. And I at some point see his apt, which is nice also, cozy.

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*(BEIGE ON THE WALLS, SLIGHTLY CLUTTERED: Too much on my mind, cluttering my brain, but God is here {beige/contemplation} & there is an answer.)*

Having given this old man the money {I might add I always end up being generous with the poor, I surprise myself with the things I’ll do for them. I did not owe this girl anything, but I splurged for her} we go back down a couple flights to see the girl with the baby, see how she’s doing now that she’s got the vacuum.

*(VACUUM: Is a NECESSITY/NEED but this female will forego one basic need & splurge the money for her addiction. This is a BAD SIGN.)*

To our surprise, she is not here. There’s a pile of many layers on the couch, we remove layer after layer of mostly blankets (one is orangey), she is not here, but her baby is, she left her baby alone. Where did she go?

It is revealed to me that she took the money I gave her, went out to get her DRUG FIX. That somehow is her problem, she is a drug addict. The drug is more important than her baby, she has to have it. I was arguing her case because she’s so broke & has the baby to care for. Not sure what to think, just that she is unreliable, certainly not capable of taking care of herself or the child.

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*(USES THE MONEY I GAVE HER FOR DRUGS:
This tells me that the relationship of Ruth & Bob will go bankrupt because Ruth can no longer support them. Her income has diminished, she is now near destitution, but still a drug addict. She will use money for drugs before necessities, she will neglect her child, she will abandon her child’s needs to get her drug.

Bob does not support them, he relies on her support so he can use his own money on himself & his needs including alcohol, grass, cigarettes & drugs. He needs her for the roof over their head & bills. This is what he USES HER FOR.

But this dream says, she can NO LONGER PAY THE BILLS because her income has gone so low, her need of drugs takes away bill-money – she will no longer be useful to Bob.

Who am ‘I’ in the dream, giving her money? I am the Grace of God, supplying her with what she needs as far as bills, necessities. She has, in other words, with her diminished income, enough for what is basic, but what is NOT BASIC – drugs – she doesn’t have enough for. So she will use Peter to pay Paul, the God-given income is enough for sustainability but not her habit.

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Her physical appearance? Attractive, brown hair framing her face to the shoulders, reminds me of the girl I saw in the dream a few days ago – where my Lover Bob appeared as a Hell’s Angel – an old man with a fuzzy flannel shirt came in without being invited to tell me WATCH OUT FOR A GUY WHO IS A THIEF – the thief comes in, works for you, asks for an advance for a forthcoming job – then disappears with your money. This same female STOOD BETWEEN MYSELF & THE OLD MAN.

I now know this female is Ruthie – the ‘wife’ of my Lover Bob – Bob in another form is admitting some wrong doing, some sort of ‘stealing’. Does he get money from Ruthie for drugs? And so, I might not have said it in that dream, but this lady between us is Ruthie.

The dream basically reveals something God has been saying for years – even before this Pandemic – Ruthie’s income in the hospitality business has shrank greatly. My educated guess is she used to make $800 a week, now it’s down to $250-300.  {Think of the cost of the drug cocaine.  How much per day?  I don’t know, but if she uses $30. a day of it, that would be $210. a week.  How much gets left for bills & baby?} If things get worse, she might not have a job, as her field is shrinking, people are desperate for these jobs & there will be more people applying than jobs open. In that case, she will have to rely on relatives for support, especially since she has a baby – or get a new husband. She can no longer afford the gigolo Bob, haha. {She thought she was so smart, providing him with drugs every day, so smart that she could afford it. So smart to get him badly addicted. But all this, by the Grace of God, falls apart. I told her it was temporary. She knew I was right, now it’s happening.)*

 

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College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Core Tenets, Uncategorized

PURGATORY RELEASE!

PURGATORY RELEASE!

 

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12-3-20-Release Souls in Purgatory with my Hip Pain Donation

 

Amazing dream. I was so tired I did not write it the day I had it, but analyzed it before falling asleep. I thought it might be a ‘silly sex dream’ but upon inspection it’s the most valuable revelation, so here it is.

I was in the middle of work on a project when my old web man, Nick K, takes me somewhere on a break. I was afraid to leave work, but I did it.

 

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He takes me through an empty part of the city, lots of space around this building, which is unusual, it’s color & texture on the outside remind me of the Statue of Liberty.

“The Statue of Liberty is made of copper. Why is the Statue green? The Statue’s copper has naturally oxidized to form its familiar “patina” green coating.”

The building is alone, by itself, not big. It has NO WINDOWS & the door is right on the edge of the building, on its corner & is the same look as the building. Nick opens the door, it has a curved shape handle, like maybe 5-6″ long {this is vague} – it’s unusual.

*(BUILDING: This is Purgatory. Whenever I’ve visited Purgatory, even outside, the place was CLOSED IN.
Even if the vision was outside, you would look up, & the sky was closed in somehow, it was never all the way up forever.
This depicts how Purgatory is a LIMITATION.

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Nick has been DEAD about five years. He’s taking me to HIS PLACE IN PURGATORY – which is familiar to him but strange to me.

This being like the STATUE OF LIBERTY symbolizes liberty or RELEASE.)*

I feel where Nick is taking me is a special place he knows – where I have never been, & upon entering it I know it’s a MOVIE THEATER.

*(MOVIE THEATER: “Theater of Justice” is the name of the book I published on Purgatory.)*

We go in – I no longer see Nick, am just sitting in the audience waiting for the movie. It’s dim.

Then someone – reminds me of a shaman or Indian Chief – he seems to be wearing a high hat with mantle on his head, maybe red/black striped, maybe feathers, he has a serious/happy look on his face – he’s a DIGNITARY here, calls me. He’s saying I am a SPECIAL GUEST, come here, into this enclosure, sit with us here.

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*(DIGNITARY / CHIEF, with a headdress: This person is a celestial, possibly the GUARDIAN ANGEL of the person that will be released. I have a part in this, he calls me to the SPECIAL AREA for VIP’s.

His headdress calls to mind two things, the red/black stripes would be suffering, the feathers would be freedom. I prayed a day or so ago that the pain I have in my hips – which prevents me from walking much – be given as a grace to Souls in Purgatory. All that I suffer goes to them in the ‘heroic act’ since I was 9 years old, but to remind God/myself apparently invigorates the act.)*

The enclosure is a space in the theater seats which has a low solid fence around it, but 3-4′ tall at the most, it’s square & holds in seats for maybe 15 people.

As I climb in somehow I’m looking down at myself, & this Chief is also looking at me & he approves, as my outfit signifies WHO I AM.

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I’m wearing my white leather short jacket, with a foot long fringe around the shoulders {of leather}, a white low cut top, & my favorite white/silver tights/pants. I recall seeing my legs from the knees down, fearing whether my ankles were swollen – but they weren’t. My legs are bare as the pants only cover the knees. The Chief believes, as the outfit symbolizes, I am a CELEBRITY who deserves to be in this VIP section. It is to the wall on the right.

*(THE OUTFIT, WHITE: White & silver is ‘the pure in heart shall see God. The jacket evokes ‘American Indian’ with fringe – they wore lots of fringe. This is ‘good luck’ – A Indians bade good luck. My pants with the silver, white & silver is purity & permanence.

Because I pay special attention to my LEGS is saying ‘this message concerns your legs – the way you donated the grace of the pain thereof.

When we suffer for Souls we PAY SOME OF THE COST OF THEIR SINS – thereby we can get them released. the Guardian Angel appreciates my prayer & invites me into the ‘sanctum sanctorum’ of Purgatory – INTIMACY thereof, spiritual love.)*

Then two things happen. One, a movie unfolds, but strangely, I AM IN IT! I did not expect this. A beautiful young actor materializes in front of me from neck up & I must approach him & we must KISS in an intimate way, & as we kiss, I am influenced to put all my FEELINGS into it, like the movie is being made right now, & I must TRANSMIT something emotional to the actor to make the scene good.

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The actor is young, handsome, his eyes are closed, he has the smoothest tawny skin & on his right cheek facing me, is one single mark, like a round pox mark – an old scar – that’s the only flaw on his face. So I do what I’m supposed to do.

*(ACTOR: This is the person who, by my prayer & KISS I am GOING TO RELEASE! He is one fault from ascending – depicted as the pox mark. Apparently my kiss is the transmission of this grace to him, which removes that remaining ‘scar’.
His beauty is SPIRITUAL BEAUTY as, if this is Nick, he has been cleansed for five years. The soul’s radiance increases as the remnants of sins & faults are removed – it becomes, in other words, like clear glass by which they can see God, or more accurately, they become God. We are all God in the soul, our souls are always perfect, but our human self is the VEIL which obscures the soul / God from us.)*

At the same time, the man to my right – who I don’t know, takes my right hand to hold it. They are so welcome & friendly to me here! For a moment I had to withdraw my hand to do something, then I go put it back & I see his right dungaree pocket open, & I slip my hand into it & notice his penis is under it. I don’t want to be too intimate / offensive so I remove my hand & put it back into his hand.

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*(MAN I DON’T KNOW GIVES ME HAND: This is a soul I don’t know who apparently is in a similar place with Nick & I am to help him also – in other words, give him a hand. It’s not about sex – he has an ‘open pocket’ or open attitude to receive my spiritual love – & I transmit it to him. This might not be total ascension, maybe some improvement, I’m not sure. But to hold the hand of a soul in Purgatory is a great thing, it could be ascension, it would be great if it was. The only thing is I don’t see a BIG CELEBRATION, party, fireworks, etc., which sometimes happens but not always, when a soul ascends. It varies greatly. Sometimes it’s very simple & quiet like this. I feel elated to assist these Souls!)*

 

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College of Matriarchal Love, College of the Gender War, Uncategorized

TIME ON MY SIDE

TIME ON MY SIDE

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12-2-20-He Visits Gloating-Time on My Side

 

The beginning of the dream is I’m here at the farm, but it is a transformed version of the old farmhouse, a great IMPROVEMENT.

*(IMPROVEMENT: This improvement refers to my mental, emotional state. Indeed, my faith has been buoyed up re. my lover & what he’s doing. Yes, there’s a long delay, yes, he’s dilly dallying with another woman/women, but he will eventually come to me.)*

I’m extremely PROUD of a room that was dreary. It was in an in-between area, dull, maybe ugly, but I have put a beautiful Persian-type rug covering the entire floor, vanilla colors with dark nice designs, a pretty bed, some furniture, as I walk in I feel proud & happy that I can SHARE THIS ROOM with someone & they will have pleasure out of it. The room might be the ‘no man’s land’ between my bro’s room & Marius room at the old farmhouse – it had no purpose but storage. This has a WINDOW overlooking THE STREET & the view from here will be FEATURED in the SECOND DREAM.

 

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*(THE ROOM: This is the ‘no man’s land’ I have been in without my Lover, neither here nor there, like a hallway, between my ‘bro’ who might be the Lover, & Marius’ room – which represents ABSENCE or DIVORCE. This gave me a dreary mental state in the past, but I have CHANGED due to an increase of faith God has given me.)*

Several other areas have been improved / transformed as well, both inside & out.

*(AREAS TRANSFORMED: In dreams, areas are often areas of your own inner self. To deteriorate is you become anxious, depressed, or your virtues fall down into negativity. But to improve is to improve in virtues, to rise in a positive frame.)*

Now comes this guy at the FRONT DOOR, standing, waiting to be let in. He’s big & tall, dressed like a HELL’S ANGEL sort of, black motorcycle jacket which covers a lot of his body, past the hips, has some CHAINS hanging on it. His look is not handsome, it’s CRUDE – I’m not interested in him at all.

He says something like,

“I JUST WANT TO SHOW YOU THAT IN YOUR ABSENCE I WAS NOT ALONE – I WAS WITH OTHER FEMALES.”

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(I could care less, I don’t like this guy.)

*(THE HELL’S ANGEL I AM NOT INTERESTED IN: is the Lover Bob – who fails to impress me as a whore master / demon, who just wants to fukk me while showing off a ‘wife’ on social media – {his drug partner who he doesn’t love.}

The CHAINS hanging there are CHAINS TO HELL or the lower, negative world, giving in to his OWN LOWER SELF or the spirit of the demonic.

He’s so arrogant & proud of himself for going his own way that he is BRAGGING about being with other females, at my door – he WANTS ME TO KNOW except, haha, I DON’T CARE!

Me to Mother God: Mother God, is there any significance that he wants to announce, let me know of his doings, or is it just a coincidence to explain this is a revelation?

She: He has been dealing with other women out of his rebellious spirit against God. In his heart / unconscious, he loves you, but he’s too much of a coward still to own up to it & contact you. So he takes the path of least resistance. It’s easy to find girls to fukk – half the ones he knows will ‘suck dick for dope’ – he knows dozens who will comply & all he has to do is talk to them on social media. He’s handsome & sexy & you promoted him, so they look to him as a ‘big deal.’
His COMING TO YOUR DOOR is he CARES WHAT YOU THINK – he wants to smear it in your face, make you jealous, make you aware so you would CHASE HIM, except you won’t. In the hand of God you are safe, you will no longer deteriorate to his level.
The jacket being long, even covering his HIPS is to show his GENITAL ORGANS ARE COVERED BY THE DEMONIC – what he is doing is not of God.  The black in this dream also shows ‘absence’ as in ‘absence of love.’)*

 

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There are two FEMALES here besides me, one is Jeena, dressed in black, in real-life a mentally ill model I worked with. The other one is a sort of Anna / Carol A female, tall, big, a naive, sort of innocent but gullible sort.

*(JEENA & ATHENA OR CAROL A: These in ‘sense image’ or symbol are two females I knew, but in reality, they are PARTS OF MYSELF that were affected / injured in the past relationship with Lover.
One of these says I WAS MENTALLY ILL. Yes, I was suffering from PTSD. Every time I fell in love I fell down into PTSD that originally came from my Dad’s desertion–I loved him deeply & the bottom fell out of my life when he abandoned me.  Jeena dressed in black in the context of this dream could say ‘black as in the end, a funeral, something depressing, something ends.’

The other part of me was gullible, naive, innocent but foolish, also accurate. A female in love becomes a young girl, not thinking straight, illogical, foolish. I was not in control of myself or what I did, he took advantage of this, he controlled me to my detriment.
Because this dream exhibits these females, but on the other hand, portrays great transformations, says that these damaged, lower parts of myself HAVE BEEN TRANSFORMED.
But Bob is right now NOT TRANSFORMED. He’s going through a DEMONIC PHASE.)*

I was dealing with Jeena about a dress, getting it ready for her, like I’m a seamstress. Anna walks in & is standing at the closet in front of me.

*(DRESS, ROBE, I AM A SEAMSTRESS: The dreamer is the God Self, the dress or robe is the consciousness or ‘mantle’ as explained in the Old Testament, prophets had ‘mantles.’ These were MADE OF LIGHT or their GOD POWER. When a prophet was dead or dying, he would leave his mantle to the next one, which means LEAVE HIS ANOINTING or God Power.

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Me the seamstress, means me the God Woman, giving a mantle of Light to some part of my lower self – that part ascending into the Light, being FREE as this garment suggests, covered in WINGS. But my naive self still isn’t ready or has not ‘paid’ for this privilege. This says I can give an Anointing to any one of my lower personalities but have apparently not chosen one. Which one will be liberated?)*

The dress in question is diaphanous, chiffon, soft, light yellow, completely covered with ‘wings’ or layers of floating panels, from the top to bottom. I say to Anna,

“OH, SORRY, I GUESS THIS IS YOUR DRESS – I WAS GIVING IT TO JEENA. BUT YOU HAVEN’T PAID FOR IT YET, SO IT ACTUALLY ISN’T YOURS – I CAN GIVE IT TO ANYONE.”
There isn’t any reaction from her.

*(DRESS: This is interesting as again I say, it shows the God Self within me is the Power of God acting in me – it isn’t a God far away in outer space, it is right here, right now, within me.)*

We were all inside the house on the second floor – the characters mentioned – when suddenly an UNINVITED guest walks in. His excuse? He’s come to WARN ME about a guy who came to his house & offered to do some work. He did some work, then got an advance for more work, but left & never came back. This man is wearing a FUZZY FLANNEL CHECKED SHIRT–big checks, he’s about 50 yrs old – I don’t know him but I guess he’s my neighbor. But then I see his wife who is standing between him & me, she’s nice, soft brown hair framing her face to the shoulders, looks familiar, I speak to her. But indeed I am taken aback by this man’s cheek of coming into my house without being asked in. I think he was just curious what we were doing.

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*(UNINVITED NEIGHBOR: There are two male characters in my house, one invited, one not. The invited is Bob as a demon bragging about his ‘conquests,’ the uninvited might also refer to Bob, but he here more STEALTHY, not PROUD OF HIMSELF, reluctantly admitting HE WOULD BE A THIEF if I let him. Has he been a thief? Did he steal my affection, always giving me the sense of coming back but never giving me a relationship? Is that not stealing?

  The fuzzy checked flannel shirt is similar to the second dream where he appears ghoulish–this is the lower self but why?  Depression of the spiritual, a color of the earth, like soft dirt?

 

The wife I recognize could be a part of myself – my flesh – I recognize her but not him, which means I never saw him as a thief. Her standing ‘between us’ is my flesh stood between me & having a relationship with him. My flesh was a fool by giving in to him, mentally ill. These selves are pictured in this dream.)*

SECOND DREAM

 

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In the next dreams there’s a lot of ACTIVITY. I am going someplace with people who like me. We’re ‘on the street,’

*(ON THE STREET: This is a travel in vision, to see what’s going on with my Lover – street being busy is he’s busy with people.)*

we go into what looks like a restaurant, bar, convenience shop run by a family. My ‘friends’ go to a room way to the front, are sitting at tables with each other, maybe partying, females sitting in guy’s laps – they have SHUT THE DOOR.

*(SHUT THE DOOR: Lover & friends are behind closed doors but I know what they’re doing – ‘partying’ which means drugs, grass, alcohol, fooling around.)*

I believe I’m going to take my music, which I have in a tiny blue cell phone thingy – it’s some type of flamenco/classical – go there, & dance all over the room. I have on a sleek, form-fitting pants outfit with beautiful sleek boots, I’m thin & look good.

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*(I WILL GO THERE, DANCE, physical description of my legs & boots, sleek, beautiful, my ability to dance: This is my SPIRITUAL POWER as legs represent mystical ability to go places, like the winged feet of mercury. This shows only my legs with the svelte medium green tights & sleek boots – my ability is strong. They cannot hide from me by shutting the door.

I stop at the counter of the foreign family that owns the store – I search for my music box & tell them I will play music THEY LIKE. {I think they’re Latin} We also talk about FOOD & for some reason they think I need food with salt. They put in front of me a large bag of LAY’S POTATO CHIPS, saying it will be good for me. I tell them no, this is not good, as it’s salty & SALT MAKES FAT – I have to say this twice because they don’t get it the first time, then they do.

*(MY MUSIC I THINK THEY’LL LIKE & ‘SALT IS FAT’: My music is my vibration, my consciousness. These people being FOREIGN I believe are from THE OTHER SIDE which is Heaven. They are either ANGELS OR SAINTS & they are bringing me to this vision. Notice it’s in their domain that my Lover & friends go to the far room & close the door. This restaurant / store is a place of nourishment, celestials are feeding me information.

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I plan to show them my consciousness {vibe} & they want to show me Lay’s Potato Chips – maybe I should get laid or have sex. But I protest that ‘salt makes one fat’ – which refers to the flesh getting heavy, morbid, attached, by sex acts. ‘Salty’ talk is gross talk, like cussing – I’m saying these gross physical acts aren’t good for my consciousness, & after a while they get it.)*

I am then in my house, the room mentioned or equivalent thereof, looking onto the St. from the second floor. People are running around, especially ONE GUY CHASING SOMEBODY–He is strangely dressed like in a Halloween costume, all fuzzy light brown from head to toe – even his head is covered, he looks GHOULISH - the feeling is he is a DEGENERATE – & I take out a pendulum, hold it to the window & swing it back & forth. Whoever is looking up does not notice it, so I find a BIGGER PENDULUM, A LARGE WATCH ON A THIN CHAIN about 3″ across, hold it up, let it swing back & forth. I believe it is then noticed. I was making a STATEMENT with this – point is made.

*(THE DEGENERATE CHASING SOMEONE ON THE STREET: Is my lover, Bob. The outfit he’s wearing is similar to the guy who entered my house uninvited, a soft, fuzzy light brown – he looks ghoulish. Instead of being ‘a man’ -  – he has lowered himself to being a ‘whore master’ in other words, just chasing pussy, one in particular it seems. There’s no love in it, he is playing the part of the ghoul, the demonic, just lust.
This similar outfit says,
‘He was a ghoul with you, just using you for sex, now he’s doing the same to someone else.’
I know what’s going on but am undaunted. I hold on the watch as a pendulum – saying ‘Time is on my side…..this will pass….he will be mine.’ I point this out to him, he sees it.

Lust does not go far, it passes. It brings no fruit, no permanent peace, joy or security. It’s like a meal you eat & pretty soon you’re hungry again. Only True Love satisfies.

 

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College of God & Love, College of Matriarchal Love, Uncategorized

HIS, HERS & THE TRUTH

HIS, HERS & THE TRUTH

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12-1-20-THREE WINDOWS – CLOSING RESTAURANTS

This might be an answer to a prayer yesterday. Lover was BACKSLIDING, fooling around with another girl {possibly hooking up seeking a relationship}instead of contacting me, after some sort of breakup with present ‘wifey.’ I asked God to give me a dream re once again, why & how he would come to me when all was ‘said & done.’ My Higher Self does not take his ‘dilly dally’ with girls seriously, it relies on the REVELATIONS given many times by God re our PERMANENT RELATIONSHIP coming to pass. But how things develop is a subject for query.

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*(HIGHER SELF VS FLESH/DAUGHTER: In yesterday’s dream there was an interesting conflict between flesh & God – where the flesh rose up against God & acted like she wanted to dominate – & at that point, I, the God, parted from her. This conflict has been going on for years – what the God Within wants, what the flesh wants. The flesh thinks physically, in a limited manner, short on faith, hope, confidence & all virtues. That is why flesh makes mistakes & pays for them later. My higher self was threatening me – the flesh – many times, She would ‘kill me’ if I continued with this man as it was – I did not listen for a long time, & I paid the price. The price was severe anxiety attacks, total chaos with the gastro-intestinal system, then heart attacks.

In this dream there will also be a sister I share a room with – another part of me, the pragmatic self, smart, but not God. It is the God that must prevail, dominate, make the decisions, no other part of oneself, & when another part takes over, there come the falls.

So in the last dream my Higher Self wins the day, in this dream my daughter/flesh does not even appear, but the pragmatic flesh is here in spirit, I, God, am correcting her.)*

My dreams opened with up numerous closings of restaurants as well as other businesses. All was shutting down like there was some kind of problem with society – like war but not war. I was present at many CLOSINGS, like shutting down doors, windows, I am there looking – it all goes DARK. There are many forgotten details. I was not UPSET, just OBSERVING.

*(CLOSING BUSINESSES: Usually we don’t take things in dreams literally, but sometimes they are literally true. And so, this suggests that the closing of businesses will block the way for his ‘wifey’ – who is the main bread winner – to make a living. This being gone, she cannot afford him, both have to make different arrangements, she for someone to help her & the child. He stays with her because it’s most convenient, but if she cannot pay the bills, it isn’t convenient any more, so all bets are off. This answers the query why would be come to me.)*

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This part of the dream ends & I am at the OLD FARMHOUSE in my bedroom. I am looking through one of the THREE WINDOWS, the one on the right. Below me is the yard, all is GREEN, BEAUTIFUL, fertile. There is the large Oak tree, bushes & shade, & beyond that, nice sunshine in the field.

*(OLD FARMHOUSE, MY ROOM, 3 WINDOWS: The 3 windows suggests an answer to something, ‘his, hers & the truth.’

And so I see that beneath my window, domain is the SOLID PERMANENT OAK TREE – the Oak tree has the deepest TAP ROOT of any tree I know – it’s almost impossible to pull a tiny Oak out of the ground – I have tried. This represents PERMANENCE, A DEEP, PERMANENT RELATIONSHIP.

The SHADE here is PROTECTION. People seek trees for shade, shade protects from sunburn especially {you see the sun yonder but those who come here want the shade}. The sun in the context of this dream would be GETTING BURNED, which means HURT.

The green / fertility of this area is the LIFE / PROSPERITY / ABUNDANCE of ME. Whoever seeks this area, beneath my window, seeks my protection & prosperity. This will answer the query of why Lover comes to me – because he needs these factors.)*

There are some BOY-TEENS here – neighbors – who took it upon themselves to visit my yard to play. It doesn’t bother me, I’m happy they are finding rest / recreation on my property, & notice they stay in the SHADE rather than going into the sun.

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The boy I notice most is maybe 16, short & chubby, wearing a white cotton shirt, button down, casual, loose. He has a BALL in front of him & bounces it up & down.

*(BOY-TEENS-WHITE SHIRT-PLAYING BALL: This is the presence of my Lover Bob, seen in this manner. Why this manner, & the playing ball?

Because he is a DEPENDENT on me, I am the Mother-figure, & being CHUBBY means he is WELL FED by me. This is more than food, it’s overall nourishment, could be spiritual, emotional, mental. Why is he SHORT? Being tall is sometimes, as in the last two dreams, wanting to dominate, pride & ego, but being short is being smaller than, submitting oneself, humbled or on bended knee.

The playing ball? It might be ‘playing ball with me’ which means cooperation. I am not there in front of him, but he is in my yard, my shade, under my window, seeking my protection & prosperity – & what is also revealing, is that he is FACING TOWARD MY WINDOW which means facing ME – & this says he’s COOPERATING {finally!} {It has been his failure to cooperate with me or appreciate my efforts that has caused him to stay in the mediocre place he is, dashing his aspirations toward becoming ‘a star’ & losing the spiritual as well as other blessings held out to him by God. He blocked all my effortsto help him, took up with a young lady drug partner. By now I might have got him off drugs & made him to some degree a celebrity, but none of that happened.}

WHITE SHIRT: Is his hope for & acceptance of our union / marriage.)*

I want to open this window more fully. There are three semi-used up, falling apart pieces of wood for propping it up, I have to work to get them aligned properly, hold the window up, two of them one on the other, on the left side, sort of rickety.

*(THIS WINDOW: Is ‘his pov or side’ from the ‘his, hers & the truth’ paradigm. I want to see HIS SIDE clearly, but there’s some rickety old wood to depend on for propping up this vision – could be THE PAST bringing confusion & apprehension toward the future. Will he really change?)*

 

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Then I go to the MIDDLE WINDOW which opens to the main view of the outside, the clearest vista. My sister shares this room & apparently she has this window CLOSED which upsets me. I open it & am scolding her for not having it so. It’s summer after all, no need for closed windows. I say to my sis,
“WE NEED OXYGEN.”

*(MIDDLE WINDOW: Represents ‘hers’ or my flesh pov. Why did the pragmatic part of me have this closed, for which my God Self scolds me?

CLOSED WINDOW could mean ‘Closed mind’ or my POV is not open enough- not enough OXYGEN would be lack of ENERGY or life to my vision. In other words, I must BELIEVE MORE in his coming to me with a SUCCESSFUL CONCLUSION. My skepticism would come from his past performance.)*

Then I go to the LEFT WINDOW which opens on a low roof above the kitchen & the driveway. I thought at first it was closed also, but see it is open & lots of GREEN. There are two layers of windows.

*(LEFT WINDOW on top of the kitchen, driveway mean THE TRUTH. DRIVEWAY means ACCESS or ENTRANCE, the way in, the way he gets instilled into my life permanently, physically as well as other ways. I thought it was CLOSED is my lack of faith or skepticism. But it’s open means filled with life & vitality – I do see green here.

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On top of the KITCHEN also is a symbol of hearth, home, food, nourishment. This is where our food was prepared & eaten. This represents the HEART / CENTER, ‘home is where the heart is’ – Both he & I have each other’s hearts.)*

 

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College of God & Love, College of Love Making, College of Matriarchal Love, Uncategorized

LOVER BACKSLIDES

LOVER BACKSLIDES

 

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Dream:  11-30-20-Visit Lover on Street – He’s Unsure

I’m with my small daughter, she’s like 7 yrs old, & the idea is I don’t relish ‘baby sitting’ but I have to do it as there’s no one else, & I have to admit she’s a good child.
*(DAUGHTER: My flesh. My flesh is a good child – obedient to to God Self. Seven years old is an innocent soul.)*

We’re in Bklyn on Grand St – the street is active, alive, filled with people. We’ve not been out for a long time, we relish the thought of being out among folks. 

*(THE STREET:  Implies INFORMATION WILL BE GIVEN, ‘what is the word on the street?)*

*(B’KLYN, GRAND ST: This might announce a CHANGE or SHIFT – as B’klyn was the place of monumental changes; Seeing God Face to Face & then, Divine Stigmata.

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Being ‘with people’ might hint at ‘this will be a revelation ABOUT PEOPLE. And Grand St, does that say it’s about their PRIDE? Or is it just a coincidence, as this was the street in existence there at the time {name has been changed to Borinquen.})*

We go to the very end of the street, & there, unexpectedly, on the opposite side is my lover Bob. I was NOT planning to approach him, speak to him, or in any way take the active part in getting us together – not even planning to ask him anything, but I override my decision on that & begin to speak to him.
He says,

“I HAVE BEEN DOING RESEARCH” & “BEEN LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR YOU, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?”

*(BEEN DOING RESEARCH: This means ON ME. He’s been trying to find me to no avail as the next sentence explains.)*
I say,

“I’VE BEEN SICK.”

*(I’VE BEEN SICK: In the context of this dream, this could be saying, ‘I have been sick at heart from our separation.)*

 

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He seems to be CRIPPLED as he sits on the sidewalk, cannot walk at all, & I tell him,
*(HE’S CRIPPLED: In the context of this dream he has been DISABLED re our relationship or how to keep it going. Sitting, not walking on the sidewalk curb, is like ‘bench warming’ – he could not find me downtown for the last over a year.)*

“I NOW WALK WITH A LIMP.”

*(LIMP VS CRIPPLED: I am not crippled as far as our relationship, but I have a slight ‘impediment’ or handicap. I can still function within our union – possibly this vision / revelation shows how I can function, I can discover things through spiritual vision.)*
Then I say,

“DO YOU WANT ME?”

He sits in front of me rather puzzled & says,
“I DON’T KNOW.”

*(I DON’T KNOW: He is CONFUSED as to his true feelings. He doesn’t know what he feels deep in his heart.)*

After a while – I say,

“WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF I DIED?”

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At this point he’s standing before me, tall, looking about 16 yrs old, with a white knitted shirt with pointed collar. And I add,

“MAYBE I SHOULD GO DO THAT”

meaning kill myself – I just said this to see his reaction.

*(WHAT WOULD HE DO IF I DIED – MAYBE I SHOULD DO THAT? is not really about physical suicide, it’s saying what would you do if I disappeared from your life completely? Maybe I should end it. His appearance as a 16 yr old boy in white, standing above me is his DEPENDENCE, NEED OF A MOTHER – HE WANTS MARRIAGE WITH ME AS I AM THAT TRUE MOTHER. Standing above me might be saying,
“I need you, I am in need of you as my maternal source, & so, I cannot allow you to lead me as you might leave me if you have control. That’s why I must DOMINATE {stand above} you.)*

Then a small girl appears to his left, in a type of ‘corner’ on the street above us. Her face is made up to look pretty, she is pretty, & she greets him & they kiss. She’s wearing a light blue chemise to her ankles, like a silky night dress, then she goes away. I take issue with this interruption, I feel he should not have acknowledged her, & I think they kissed on the lips, which bothered me even more. But she does go away & we continue talking.

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*(GIRL IN BLUE KISSES HIM: His present gf kisses him good bye. How do I know? It seems because she’s in a CORNER on the street, above {like a vision in the air} appears, then disappears – corner is a predicament, like painting yourself into a corner or being ‘cornered’ & she’s also on the street surrounded by cement, which is tomb-like. Her blue chemise might also say ‘parting in such sweet sorrow.  And the fact that it looks like a night dress says ‘no more sleeping together.’
This dream then predicts the end of her, but he will take up with a number of girls – which is not necessarily the end of us, just how it might be prior to our reunion.)*

Then we are sort of standing in the middle of the street among the crowd & a few young girls, a clique perhaps, engages his attention. He takes one of them by both hands, then turns her around dancing, where she’s in his arms, he behind her – a smooth move.

*(HOLDS GIRL IN A SMOOTH MOVE: It looks like he ‘takes up with’ or in a ‘smooth move’ snags or traps a girl into a relationship.)*

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This for me ‘takes the cake’ – I am offended & decide, with my daughter, to walk away, & do so. We head back to our apt, where I drop off my little daughter & decide to go back to the street.
*(TAKES THE CAKE – I AM FED UP WITH HIM: It bothers me that instead of contacting me – chasing me as it were – he takes up with yet another girl. This is either happening now or will happen, as it isn’t the old gf, Ruth, in his arms, it’s a new one.)*

As we were returning I asked her opinion,
“DON’T YOU THINK THAT WHEN I WALKED AWAY, IF HE CARED, HE SHOULD HAVE CHASED AFTER ME?”

Daughter is now tall, looks down on me the way he did after I asked him what he would do if I died, her face is serious, eyes intent, but she GIVES NO ANSWER but I think she means yes, but doesn’t want to say it.

*(I ASK DAUGHTER, SHE BECOMES TALL LIKE HE WAS: My flesh might be saying, ‘Indeed, he should be chasing you/me but he isn’t & so that means, at this moment, unfortunately, he doesn’t care enough……….Maybe I have to be the aggressive one instead of waiting as we have agreed, waiting this long while, maybe I should do something, which goes against the God Self.”
But my flesh says nothing, which again means my flesh will NOT go against the God Self, it only had a momentary doubt.)*

I leave my daughter back at the apt by herself & go back into the street,
*(LEAVE DAUGHTER & RETURN TO ST. SOLO: This is a parting of ways, my God Self & flesh, the God Self is of course predominant & is the leader. At the moment my lower self rebelled ever so slightly, I left her behind but went on to the vision of what is. This reality is what Bob is doing with his life, & it isn’t good…… Nevertheless, it is NOT in the dream, but I will add here, that I will STAND BY the promises of God, who has said for eons that our union will occur & it will be permanent, & furthermore, we will be dating by March, 2021 again, & we will be living together by Sept 2022.)*

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which has mostly emptied but there’s pockets of people here & there. I go to the end, where I see a tall young male wearing a white shirt.

*(WHITE SHIRT: in the context of this dream probably means seeing union or marriage in a relationship – that’s what this dream is about, so although white could mean other things, like purity of heart or innocence, always figure ‘context of dream’ as your guide.)*

He’s on the OPPOSITE side of the street where Joe & I were. I study his mannerisms because I can’t see his face clearly as he’s a half black away. His motions resemble Bob, moving around a lot a certain way, but his hair is dark black, with thick curls, his face more like Italian, not as handsome as Bob, a crude look. But he’s playing court with a bevy of people, some female, like being the ‘star’ in their circle. Where they are is next to a tall CHAIN LINK FENCE, but there’s a hole in it I think he moves through for one stunt – this is vague. He just moves around a lot.

*(NOT BOB, A DIFFERENT GUY, MORE LIKE ITALIAN, CRUDE, NOT AS HANDSOME, HOLDING COURT, NEAR A CHAIN LINK FENCE, OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE ST. TO WHERE WE WERE, HOLE IN THE FENCE HE GETS THROUGH FOR A STUNT:

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This IS Bob – he’s CHANGED from the grieving lover to a lower level {crude} his soul NOT BEAUTIFUL AS IT WAS – No longer listening to his HEART or Higher Self – wanting me. He has gone THE OPPOSITE WAY {in attitude} to where he forgets me, pursues others. He was ‘hemmed in’ before {the chain link fence} as a ‘prisoner of love’ but he FOUND A HOLE {LOOPHOLE} where he can ESCAPE FROM HIS PAIN & that is by holding court, having fun with his friends, male & female, or carrying on as a ‘free man’.

Obviously this change will disappoint me. I know he has to go through suffering & make the right choice – God & me, but he has found a loophole against this & is giving in to the lower self, the flesh, which cannot bring him permanent happiness. It’s like ‘the prodigal son’ who left home with his inheritance as he thought it would make him happy, but it did not, this is giving into the lower self which will always crash.)*

As I gaze at him, an ancient man, like 80 years old, face & nose wrinkled, comes up to me & starts chatting. He notices the guy I’ve been watching & says something about him. I ask him the guy’s name – he says something like ‘Ions Bong’. I say,

“OH, THAT’S NOT THE MAN I LIKE.”

*(NOT THE MAN: I don’t like his attitude.)*

Old man says,

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“HE’S BEEN GONE FOR A WHILE, NOW HE’S BACK, HE’S POPULAR.”
*(BEEN GONE: Apparently absent mentally from his ‘friends’ but now returned to ‘the scene of the slime.’ Most of his friends are lowlife drug addicts, losers & petty criminals.)*
But the old guy bugs me. I YELL,

“STOP STALKING ME. GET OUT OF HERE!”

The point is, the old man is attracted to me, wants me for himself, is jealous, & he’s INTERFERING with my life & privacy. So I MUST just get rid of him.

*(OLD MAN STALKING ME, EXPLAINING THIS ‘NEW GUY’ WHO IS NOT REALLY NEW BUT THE OLD MAN INTERFERES & BUGS ME – I GET RID OF HIM:

I suspect this is my good ole’ friend Bugsy. Have been taking him out on my errands & having dinner with him the last two months. I was once mad at him for saying Bob didn’t love me. His appearance in this dream is twofold: Somehow he’s part of the vision of Bob’s new, diminished attitude. This is because he agrees with it – that Bob doesn’t love me – Bugsy is in love with me, wants me for himself & this says he’s stalking me, interfering with my life & privacy.  He might be a thorn in my side, why he’s used here, because he’s against my relationship with Bob, & so, in a sense, he’s against ME.

Yesterday he refused to go out with me – not for any bad reason, just being tired possibly – but this says for me to remove him from my life. I will not invite him any more to go places with me. The dream shows my inner feeling toward him, that he doesn’t ENHANCE my life, he’s an IRRITANT.)*

 

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